395. Not All Tree Nuts

This is Dubai Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Alex Cox and Merlin Mann. This week's challenge, watch Mickey 17. Hello, I see you there. Hello, you do see me there. Hello, I hear you there too now. I like this. Is this vampire Merlin? Have you just finished watching Nosferoth 2? What is this? I don't know. Would you like to invite me? No, I'm turning into the county. It's not funny. What's not funny? It's your big You're turning into the count. It's not my big I'm not, I'm turning into Randy Newman. Think about it. He sounds a little like a vampire. I don't I can't unhear it now in my head. Yeah. You've got the friend in me. Bleh bleh We belong together for eternity. You're gonna be my blood bride.

We belong together. Yeah, that's right. In America I know that we are doing a lot of new things because it's a new era and we're trying new things. New, new, new, new. I think we agree. Yeah, we we've gotta prepare ourselves for how you know how things have changed a little bit in this new era. You you know that's what I'm saying. I You are wondering I am. That's not gonna change. It's not a convulsion. Yeah. The this week's challenge was to w it was two parts to watch Mickey 17. What are we doing? I wanted right off the bat, Merlin, if you could give me a summary of the film Mickey 17. Why? Why would I do that? Because I'm just I I wanna know if you can Is this what what kind of joke are we doing?

It's not even a joke. This movie is just sure is a movie and I've been thinking about just to be clear here, I'm I'm I'm I'm hitting escape So hard. I'm I've got a second keyboard that I'm using just to hit the escape key. Hang on. So this is this show. We're going and and so okay, the bit is this is a weird movie that I personally did not enjoy. And so uh and so you want me to uh to be the and should I say something humorous about how silly it is? I suppose Well what do you what kinda answer you looking for? Because I don't think you I think the idea so the bit is you saw this movie and you don't understand it. I do understand it. Is it possible that you saw this movie and you don't understand how so many talented people could have made this particular movie?

Uh yeah. That's that part of it a little bit. After uh yeah, after I saw it, I mean this guy this guy this guy's made some like pretty, pretty amazing movies where like stuff happens and it's really subtle and And with this one I A lot of stuff does happen. A lot of stuff happens. And a lot of it a lot of it, me and my kid would just go, huh? This ended up being a I was so watched Mickey 17, which is not Mickey 7. It's not Mickey 7, which is the book, which I decided. Believe me, I I think there's two books, and I've heard about it Well, there's a sequel, but it's apparently very different. I'm trying to brag that my son reads books. You listen to audio books at c sect septuple speed. My son sits down with a physical book in his hands and reads it like a person.

Oh my god, I read here, there's a book right here. I like listening. I could do that. I like l Can you but do you hang on my books? My b I have so many books? I love books. I love books My books are so big I can't even lift Here's big. Oh man. This is a puppets by TJ Clune and You don't even need an identity anymore if you like books, because your identity now is you like books. You love apps? You get so mad about RSS and the changes in RSS? You understand what it's doing for people. I don't know if you know this, but you love RSS. I do love RSS. And then people do stuff and they change things and it's real frustrating for you. You know? No. RSS doesn't change. That's what's great about it. No, absolutely.

Yes. Yes. That's you're a hacker. So I'm gonna turn on my do not disturb. I'm sorry if you heard that. Do not disturb is on. Um S okay, so so do you want to talk I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I I don't know, I I had all kinds of things I'd written down to talk to you about, and then you you came you came blazing in guns b guns blazing. And it's not a little bit more than a lot of things. I've already forgotten the challenge. I've just forgotten so much about it. Well I have I've got to have a lot of people. I want to talk about tattoos. I think you had the shits last week. So whatever. Or no, you burf it. Yep, yep, yep. I was so ready like that. Oh my god. Go ahead. I made a St. Patrick's Day cookie and I thought it was white chocolate.

It wasn't. It was macadamia nuts. And did you have a tree nut problem? Uh no. Uh well yes. Like Yeah, it's only some tree nuts. That's why it's like a gamble. Not all tree nuts. Yeah. Listen, legumes matter, Merlin. Representation of the bean matters. Listen, listen, listen. It's it's if you haven't spent your Wednesday morning and early afternoon vomiting because of a a cookie that tricked you on purpose, wow, must be nice. I know, yeah. I can't I can't even take my son to the cookie store at the mall 'cause he's allergic to cookies. And malls. Oh really? Yes. Well wait, real oh that sucks. I think it's because of his we gave him the shots for autism and now I think he's allergic to malls. Oh well at least he got the baseball scores.

Oh does he like trains? That's not funny. Um well fine. Fine. Yes, he likes trains. Fine. His name is Tyler and I love him. It's a I went for the low hanging fruit. I'm trying to match your energy. Okay. Oh really? My favorite thought. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay, now I'm I'm hitting I'm hitting the other escape key with my current keyboard and I'm saying, I'm sorry I cock block your bit. I'm sorry. I'd be happy to talk about Mickey 17. I said other things I thought you'd be excited about too. Or is it a teaser of where we go with this? No, I just want to shoot, make it I I shoot. Media is death. You're right. Mickey 17, I don't recommend it to people. Oh. And um you're just gonna be sitting in the theater thinking, wow, I have to do that.

Oh, so we're just gonna knock it off quick. Is that what we're doing? Yeah, and it's not interesting. Okay, let's talk about it. Yeah, it's a good thing. I have some things to say. I think this is the the director of this movie, I'm pretty sure is a director of other movies that I've really, really liked. And I think are very special. And on top of that, I think Robert Pattinson is without a doubt one of the most interesting people. He's making some of the most interesting choices of any actor working today. And I I like him. a lot. I admire him a lot. And I look forward to movies that Robert Pattinson is in. I just wanna two things I want to get off. So I'm I'm not gonna be glib. This guy wrote he did Parasite, right?

What else did he do? Yes, and Snowpiercer. Ah, that's right. I set I This is two movies in a row that my kid uh can I have seen together at Alamo where Well, this one was Mickey 17. The previous movie, because we don't go to the movies that often. Last movie we saw in the theater that changed my life was Megalopolis. Here's the thing that happened. It's funny because you know a lot of comedy comes from repetition. Yes. Also and repetition both. But I I said I said says to myself, we're watching Megalopolis and we get to the end. And he had I think he said this in his letterboxed. uh review that he'd had a huge iced tea and at the end of Megalopolis when he's doing the speech in the clouds about Megalon, he he literally almost peed himself.

Like honestly, we were both laughing. Like to the point where it was probably kind of a little we were trying to be polite, because we're really polite in the movie theater. But the end of Megalopolis was so fucking funny and ill-conceived. Like the movie itself, and I said, you know Forgive me. You know, I I try to to do less of this stuff, but I just I know you're aware of Francis Ford Coppola, but you haven't really dove in deep in. into into you've seen he's seen the beginning of the Godfather like six times. We've seen the end like three times. He's never seen the middle. John. And um because different people do different things and I like that. Uh but anyhow and I was like, Nick he's got a phobia?

He might have a philos an affiliated philia. Um he but up up uh for example, you know, he's a big San Francisco boy. He knows all kinds of stuff about San Francisco and he's never spent a lot of time with San Francisco movies. Like I've said for a while. I think he knows more about John Casal as an actor than his performances. And I was like, you should see the conversation. Because it's in San Francisco. It's got your Stalker Harrison Ford. It's got a bunch of great people in it. I said, look, we had a lot of fun here today. I filled both sides of an index card with notes. And I said, I really I I shouldn't I probably don't need to say this, but I just I don't want you to just start seeing the name Francis Vorcopola and thinking, oh, that's the megalopolis guy.

Yeah. I mean he's like anybody, you know, again, super interesting, such an ambitious filmmaker, and like I continue to say in a only slightly catty way. Megalopolis is terrible, but everyone who loves movies should see it. No question. There's so much in that, and not just because you can go like, oh, I like this scene or I like that scene, but just to remind you, like How hard it is to do movies. Why do I give all movies four to five stars? Because it's amazing that it ever came out at all. Anyways. And then a funny thing happened toward the end of Mickey 17, I'm chucking my watch, I'm like, ooh, this thing's over two hours. And I said, listen. I just want you to know. I know like there was a time where you had no interest in Snowpiercer because honestly, you could tell that it was pretty tense and gross for a kid to watch.

I said, I just don't want you to see this dude's name. I mean, I've got a criterion, Blu-ray. 4K of Parasite. Like I really love that movie. I think it's an important movie. I was like, I just don't want you I don't want you to get a bad taste in your mouth about the controversial opinion. Yeah. I hear it's good. Yeah. Yeah Um but here's the thing, like I guess because b you know, Billy just puts he's like he's like you. He puts so much shit in his face all day. And of course he's seen fifty thousand different things about Mickey seventeen. Whereas I and he knows this, he and he knows this and he respects this. And not I'm not doing this to try and curry favor with my dumb fucking friends, but a a true thing is if I'm gonna watch something Like let's let's say there's a thing in the world.

It could be adolescence. It could be uh companion, it could be Mickey 17. Somebody goes, oh, the guy who did Parasite has a new movie with Robert Pattinson. And already my hands are up and I'm like, eh And then of course something slips in, like I'm gonna spoil two movies, sorry, grow up. Um, one is oh, and I think it has two Robert Pattons in it. Okay, that's way more information than I wanted, but now more than ever Turn off the trailer. I'm for sure. You know what I'm saying? Like sometimes you're just like, oh, of course I'm gonna see that. And my the thing that makes me weird is that, or I guess maybe unusual or different. I'm not interested. in seeing behind the scenes stuff. I'm not interested in gossip about like I don't want to know any of that.

I don't even want to know who's in the cast. I don't want to know you know what I mean? I Full media blackout, some people have called this. I think Todd invented that. Or I don't care who invented it. One of you people. I care. I think it was Todd. Well, and I'm not I don't I don't think I'm a nut about it, but for example, I don't seek out trailers, whether teaser or true or extra or bonus, or I don't seek out any of that stuff before I see the movie. I want to know Uh you know what I want? I want the experience of me seeing Escape from New York on Showtimer HBO when I was 13. I want to go into a room where I'm not even supposed to be there and I'm gonna watch a movie that I don't know anything about.

And it's gonna be one of the greatest movies. I'm ready for that, every movie. Because I want to take it on its own terms. So just to say One bookend, the right bookend, is um this is the guy who did Snowpiercer, and that's kind of hugely better than this. Yeah. I mean Tilda Swinton in the shoe Come on, that's a good movie. It's got Captain America. It's got that lady from all the movies. It's got Ed Harris, no spoilers, right? It's and the other left book end is I was so excited for this movie. I thought there's no way this movie's gonna be anything other than at least completely fascinating in a somewhat conventional way. And it was kind of a mess. It was kind of a mess. Uh-huh. Um this is a great thing.

Yeah, yeah. It um I'm gonna try uh you know what? I'm gonna try to just go quickly through the plot of this movie. A young man and his I could really use this, Alex I uh could you also tell it's slightly out of order? Wait a minute, what? So wait, so did that one was that one involved Yeah, you know I gotta get back out and go on the Yeah Didn't think the voice was I love the voice. I think I sent you an article. I know I sent it to Billy. funny little voices or something like that. No. How funny? Oh my god. No, hey Alex, there's this movie by a guy. And I'm not gonna say his name because I don't remember his name. Cause I confuse him with the old boy guy. And yeah, I'm embarrassed about that.

I not only have a 4K of old boy, I've got a steelbox. of of old boy. It's the scene in the hallway is one of the great things. Oh, oh, notes, notes, notes. Remind me to put a link uh about uh a really good Vanity Fair video about what nerds call one-ners and what normal people call long shots. Um Oh yes. It's like fifty five minutes long and it's So well done. And it gets to the point I'm struggling to make with my dumb fucking friends about adolescence. It doesn't matter if it's a real wonder. Like this is not a technical headline. Don't make this a tech headline about how hard it is to do a warner. We know that. Like everybody knows about Touch of evil. Everybody knows about Goodfills. Like everybody knows how crazy that is.

Everybody knows that actually in children of men they would kinda say, you know I want to talk about the I want to talk about the aesthetics. I want to talk about the aesthetics of Warner's, not whether or not it's quote real. Well, that's why there are different Different videos. Hey, thank you. Yes, there are different videos. Thank you. Oh my god, I need to do it. I need to hear that. I'm not even being funny. I don't even mean funny. I'm I really needed to hear that. You're right. You're absolutely right 5017 video. There's a young man and a friend who have opened a macaroon shop. with a loan from a very scary um mob boss who we don't learn this Do we learn this at the very beginning? No.

Yeah, I'm trying to I I've decided to put this in chronological order and not to Robinson horses around a lot on screen and does funny voices and whatever his deal is, you feel bad for all of the Roberts Pattinson for sure. And then Stephen Yuan, like Yoon? How do you say his name? Stephen Yuan. I think it's Stephen Yoon. Oh god, when he goes to the spa with Conan. Woof. Um I'll put that in notes too. You like to watch? You seen that, right? Yes. Oh, because we talked about it and I said how in the hell did they get away with shooting this? This is Conan. I let Conan in and I'm gonna shut up now, I claim, and let you explain the plot of the 2025 movie. Mickey seventeen. What happens in this movie, Alex?

Yeah. Well, after Robert Pattinson and his friend can't pay the debt to a l this loan shark Who we know from seeing uh them be threatened by him that he enjoys making snuff films. Uh the two of them decide to just leave Earth instead of trying to pay him the big thing. Yes, yes. And uh still. Don't trust those ads on cable TV. You're better off to just move off world. Yes. Yes. And they're they're moving off world to this. They're moving off world with a colony that I I keep forgetting the name of. And but it's basically white world. Like they want uh to go, it's it's not just like a little eugenicsy and racist It is, but it's also they're literally going to a planet that's literally white. And it's how would you say it's yeah, it's uh led by this Hi I mean, calling someone Trumpian is i is a little bit of a Oh god, I've forgot I have forgotten everything about this movie.

Yes. Right. Mark Ruffalo who is a Oh my god, I forgot about Mark Ruffalo. Yes. It's like it was like it's two thousand seventeen and Mark Ruffalo is on Stephen Colbert. I'm I'm this is a s this is a speculative fantasy in my mind. I'm imagining that Mark Ruffalo, who I think, you know, has sort of Mm progressive tendencies and tweets about things. But anyway, I'm imagining him going on Colbert and Colbert saying, I heard you've got a pretty good Donald Trump. Could you give me a little bit? And he does that he actually does a pretty good job with an aspect that a lot of people miss, the kind of physical like things that he's doing, but also he's dumb. And he's gullible and he's vain. And boy, would it be funnier to see him do that for 20 seconds than the whole fucking time he's on screen.

It's almost it's not embarrassing. But I don't feel great for Mark Ruffalo in this. No. I Because it's broad. But it's not b I mean, did you ever see um uh the Fifth Element? Yes. Oh. And like I l I love that movie so much, probably for the reasons that a lot of people didn't like it, possibly. I mean for one thing, it's hardly what you'd call hard sci-fi, but it's so commit Luke Besson. It's he's so committed to his vision of this world. Just and the wackadoo stuff and the way that people behave. Like like the the addict who who puts the the fake thing on his head and tries to f fool Bruce Willis into opening the door. All that stuff is funny. Forget about that. All that stuff is so funny because it's an entire claustrophobic world.

It's almost in some ways, maybe like Galaxy Quest. Like it knows what it is. And it's fun, and you lean into the broadness of these characters and the opera singing Alien Woman and all that stuff. And like, and this is just, it was, it's such a hodgepodge. of a bunch of different st and just the story didn't make a ton of sense to me. No, well but Why are people doing what they're doing? Yeah I just They're they're leaving this world to colonize another planet because with their Christian white values, um I I like I I can't ext I wasn't sure what their values exactly were, but yeah, anyway, uh Steve Yune. Not Stephen Miller, but d he's got that one guy, that character actor. Who's like his mentad or whatever and is kind of like feeding him like justifications for things.

And yeah, it's it's it looks like it's some kind of like a I don't know, a kleptocracy. Focus on the f it's like a mega church on a ship, basically. Yeah, yeah, but like I don't know, it just it it's this is I'm probably giving this more credit than it deserves. 'Cause I it wasn't very good, but like it's that it's that thing like Stephon. It's that thing where you use religion to cover up the fact that you're stealing stuff. You mean it traffic cones. Um This place says New York's hottest club is now This place has everything. DC B Bok Choi. My son. Um that now that's funny, you know, but I wouldn't watch a Stefan I wouldn't watch a Stefan movie, probably. Yeah, there's a reason why Yeah, yeah, know what you are, but yeah.

God, I've totally forgotten. So and it kind of opens with him in his Sloth of Despond, right? Where he's falling into the crevasse and Stephen Yoon is there and we're already learning like, whoa, this guy's really fam Stephen Yoon is very and is Stephen Yoon the Macaroon boy? No, this is a Macaron boy. Yes, that is his co- Macron, Macron, or Macaron? It's not Morocco. Which I kept accidentally saying in the right. Whoa, wait a minute. You got Morocco, you got the former Prime Minister of China. You've got those shitty little desserts that people eat. And then isn't there a different one? That's that's I don't know. And you got macaroni which is different too. Different from, as we say. Well and then there's the Italian, uh there's Italian versus I think is ch uh Korean.

That's a good macaron. Yeah, yeah. Um, the Oh, we're talking about this so much more than this movie deserves. Duh, Robert Pattinson doesn't have any skills, so he signs up to be an expendable as he works on this ship. What does it mean? He it means he gets to be cloned responsible. Is he the only one though? He is the only one. I don't understand. But like what but they're just casually hanging out all in the same lunchroom. And I I just remember at the time, I don't remember what happened in this movie at all. Alex, it was I think two weeks ago today I saw it. I don't remember anything that happened in this movie. And I watched it with it like a person in a room. And and of course Salomo, you know, so I'm not looking at my phone.

I didn't even have that much to write down. I wrote down Robert Eggers. Did you ever watch Mindhunter on Netflix? Jonathan Jonathan Groff. Did you notice anyone in this movie who also appears in the Netflix Dave Adventure series Mindhunter? Oh I'll you know what? I'll even make this easy on you. Wait. The apologetic science guy Uh nope nope nope I was thinking of something else. Remember that one guy? He's really he's pretty tall and he's he's kind of the guy who's running the the the cloning regeneration stuff I think. And he's always sort of like apologizing and being obsequious. Yeah, but what is he in Minehunter? That's Ed Kemper. Oh Can you fucking can you b fucking believe because I've seen interviews with so Ed Kemper is this very interesting serial killer that is uh featured in Mindhunter, which y'all should watch.

It's fucking great. But also also the thing about Ed Kemper, uh have you ever seen the videos of like side-by-side video of like you can see real Ed Kemper. I don't know if I'll find this for notes. I'm feeling I'm feeling saucy today, so I might might do share notes. Ed Kemper. But he um if you've ever seen this, there's like you'll there's I think one of the one of the GQ Vanity Fair type sites, there's this side-by-side of Ed Kemper, the real Ed Kemper, and that actor whose name I don't know, playing Ed Kemper. And man, he really nails so much about that guy. First of all, he's gotta be 6'6 or 6'8 Just giant and imposing, but also the way that he talks about dealing with the women and the way that his mother is.

You know, it's That's that guy him believe that Oh god so terrifying. And he gives him the shoes. You know? Oh the shoot see, I wanna watch Mindhunter. I wanna watch I I have only seen one episode of Adolescence and yet I'm thinking. Did you make it to the end of episode one? I couldn't get to the end. I Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. So You up to the penis part. Oh wait, where they're searching him? Yeah. Alex. Oh, yeah. Alex, I I don't like to be See, I was about to say I don't like to be ego assertive, but that's not true. I'm just really good at being ego assertive, but I'm gonna try to sound like I'm not being ego-assertive. Can I just say before it's too late? Find 15 minutes and watch the rest, please.

I will. It's really important you watch it through the end of the first episode. Okay. I mean it really is a unit. No, no, I understand. Alex, you know how I am. Right? I'm not that guy about hardly anything like this. Except when you're that guy. I don't think I am. I in fact I go way out of my way. I feel like to say, well, I want to empower other people to do something that I'm doing, which is to just do life the way I feel like doing it instead of the way certain people tell me to, even if I love them. Or don't. But no, but this one, it's um, yeah. How long did it take you to clock that it was a wonder? Oh, the not until the uh when they get to the precinct or whatever British precincts are called.

When they're doing the hallway stuff and like the trading off of characters. Yeah. I watched three episodes. No, I'm sorry. I watched all four episodes in it, I think a night or maybe two nights. And then it's like Madeline, like, again, I'm being that guy where I'm like, this thing's kind of special. You m should maybe watch this before you get You learn too much about it. And I think for both of us, it was the dri the drive to the police station where you're like, okay, here's D. I. Bascom. Here's the the tiny little um Oswald Pat and Oswald looking guy, right? Pan pan is that what you call it? And then pan pan to Jamie. Jamie's pounding on the window with his dad outside. Pan back And already it feels a little bit like Children of Men.

It already kind of feels like the car scene in Children of Men, which wasn't a real honor. Did you ever read about how they did that with the seats to collapse and everything? Yeah, yeah. It's fucking insane how they did that movie. That's the guy who did um my favorite Harry Potter movie. I don't know if you know that. Yes, the best Harry Potter movie. It was I think it was just because it was a little bit I guess in some part of my brain I was like, wow, this is a really a verit verite sort of handheld. It's gonna be that sort of, you know, shaky camera thing, you know, not not like quite Coat Cloverfield levels. In fact it's pretty s steady, but like the camera I don't want to spoil this for people.

I I and again, also I I literally don't care about spoilers anymore. I've had it. But in this case, I'm gonna say I don't want to spoil it for you. But um if you cared, you'd already have watched it. That's the that's the my new thing. But It's when they're in the car and the camera's paying. And I was saying this to whom yesterday? Oh, to uh to who was I saying this to? I think for friend Shane. Oh shit, I forget who I was talking to. Um I'm sorry, I for I forgot who I was talking to. And and I was like I was like, oh We're just gonna do this the whole time. That's well that's the thing, isn't it? And you're suddenly suddenly shot in the middle of the way. I mean, like from the moment you see the back of I've seen this three times now.

But it begins. You see the the back of Di Bascom's head. He's starting to eat an apple. It's gone and you're like, and within like 30 seconds, you you might think, you know what kind of show this is gonna be. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. You don't know. I can't believe how many people, including me, are all saying the same thing, which is like, oh my god, this I know so many people who who can't watch it. tried and like can't watch it. Like I said to Roderick on Monday, I said you should check this out unless, of course, the idea of something seemingly impossible and horrific happening with your thirteen year old child is something that would bother you at this point in life. Yeah. I was uh Oh boy.

But but but um but uh but uh but uh it's it's really special and It's it's one of those things God, I really want you to watch this video about about you know wanners. Because like it really gets to that thing though. I'm I'm sorry I'm repeating myself, but like It is crazy interesting to learn how people do all kinds of things in movies. Like what was the one? There was a was it a Herzog movie? There was one movie where they had to do a shot of people doing a long shot of people running up a hill. Like in battle, and so they had to make an entire track to put the camera on. Like I love stuff like that. But and I understand why the internet loves to argue about what a real winner is, but maybe p put what you've got Back in your pants and watch this for what it is, which is an attempt to use the camera and all of the preparations and all of the writing and it all works in support of the story and you never get a fucking breath.

Not not because it's real spazzy with like running around stuff. But oh yeah, so finally. You couldn't get a breath in Mickey 17. I'm saying adolescence might be better than Mickey 17, is what I'm saying. It might be. Another controversial take. But but one thing a lot of people said also, you're definitely far enough along to know if you agree with this. Um oh my god, this story. Oh the whole thing is so rough, but like isn't it kind of wildly relaxing to see a government that works with people who aren't all horrible It was. Don't you want more? If if the girl from Game of Thrones is the meanest person you meet at a police station, you're real lucky. It that was like the I I didn't love that uh the things that were the horrific things that were happening We're almost as apparent as this unreality.

Yeah, but but then it's like, oh wait, you have a system for like these com uh you know how to answer these questions? The first thing they say is like where you mistreated, here's how you can file a form. If anything has happened so far that you think is has been done poorly. I apologize and we'll take care of that. And the way every person comes in and just has a job to do, you know. He says it. This is a fame they talk about this on the watch. Oh, the watch episode. About this is good too. Where they're like, hey look, I think Baskum or what's her name? I don't know her name says this is like everybody here's just trying to do their job. You know, the guy the guy with the Scottish accent behind the desk, he's gotta he's gotta get you booked and he's gotta say the official incantation that I'm holding.

Conflicts on cornies. Now Corny and Cor Corny's and Corey are different. Cornies are cornflakes and Cory is Coronation Street, which is a popular TV show. People talk over it. Oh, sorry, you haven't got to that. That's okay if I watched it. I I I wouldn't care if you're not going to be able to do that. I'm thinking maybe on break if you pull this out. I just have 15 minutes left. Oh God, that's zooming in the yeah, it's fake. Oh god. I'll give you a reward if you do that. I have oh oh oh I get a treat? I would love a treat. Oh yes. Can I put it? Alright. Yes, please. We'll come back to whatever you want. I don't fucking care. Um my my By the way, Billy in the latest model UN, his second all-day model UN, this time Billy was Kazakhstan.

And you didn't think any of my Borat jokes were funny. Table tennis, disco dancing. Uh a little bit. Hmm, yes. Um, King in the castle, King of the Castle Anyways, and I said, you know what? You should just watch the first ten minutes. It's all you need to watch. Just watch the first ten minutes of the Borat movie. You don't need to watch the whole thing. But just even before you get into the funny interviews and the etiquette lessons and all that. Or God, the stuff he does on his TV show, like the Krav Maga guy, you know, it's cringy, but just the written part about Borad in his village is pretty funny. It's uh that man. The village rampist I get step, he has step. I get clock radio, he gets clock radio.

I get step, he gets step. Um but uh so that worked out okay and I think he ended up saving things. Uh but wasn't that kind of a a a neat part of it though where And I want to say in advance of everybody who's going to watch this show and talk about it and get sick of hearing about it, I don't have the same, as you say, takeaway from this show that almost everybody else has. Like you're probably already getting the feeling that this is gonna be a story about how young people get how they are, and believe it or not, the world has decided there's an answer for why young people are how they are. Hint. It's in your pocket, but not much. Mm-hmm. Oh no, now it's now. What if phones, but too much? Well not in this.

Would have phones but too much. As uh as not Parker Molloy. What's what's what's the other person go by now? Parker Molloy. Is that is that is that his his his name? I have no idea who you're talking. Mark Parker Malloy is a very good thing. Uh maybe but she is one of those writers. Are you listing tr trans writers? Uh yeah I am. Juniper, uh I don't know who I don't know what you're talking about. Parker Mill. Parker Malloy is a Chicago-based writer and author. Anyways, this person She rules. Hello, friend of the show. Whatever this person's gender is, Parker Malloy. She she's a lady, a very nice lady. Did you watch the new counterpoints? Contrapoints? I watched the whole thing. I watched the whole thing.

It said this has been up for six minutes. Unlike our videos, which get up to twenty-two views. Just a few minutes after it went up, I just I was like, that's it. Sitting down and watching it and I thought it was really good. Different, different, a new kind of tone for contra points, I think I I turned off um uh uh turned off adolescence and went to watch the new Contra Points video and uh then I turned that off and I was And I le went to go read an Agatha Christie novel. You love books. I do. I love books. I think I feel like we covered this on the show. God damn it. Now I can't find it. It was an article in The the the cut, the dish, the cook, the slit that you know that Parker used to write for.

Yeah. The gash. Such a good such a good magazine. It's an e magazine. Or in a magazine, as you say in Europe. Um an EU magazine. But that's not funny. But remember and the one was it was all like like like premises for for Black Mirror episodes. And one of them was just what if phones but too much? Yep. I I I don't remember who wrote but that's Parker Malloy wrote it! I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Parker. The one thing I can quote. Um, but uh we should get away from that. What were you talking about? Well we were going through the very intricate plot of Mickey seventeen. Um and I don't know what your fucking setup is and I think you do lie about a lot of things. Do you have Netflix and have the ability to watch this somehow?

You can borrow a computer and watch it, right? Oh my god, yes. Okay, well Do they do that like does Netflix do that like watch party thing? You know what? I don't know. I don't either. Two, three years ago. Like someday we should do I was thinking at the time when when you were especially first becoming pals with Billy before he he became distant. Um Before he became a teenager. Before he became a teenager last year. You know what? He's eating a lot more. Did that happen with Matt? Uh oh yes. Oh my god, this kid is just a fucking dinner bell just ringing all the time. I keep waiting for him to get angry. I'm so excited. That's cool Um, let's see. Things are starting to happen. I'm clicking. I'm going to Netflix.

I'm clicking. I don't think they have it. Doesn't like like Hulu has it? Because it wouldn't be kind of fun if we could watch watch the end of Adolescence together. There is a uh Chrome extension called teleparty, uh Teleparty. Nah, we don't need to do it. But wouldn't that be fun sometime? We should pick a show and watch it watch it together. I I feel like there is a also there's certain uh It's okay. I don't need to know whether it's possible. I want to know whether it's something I can do in the next few minutes. No. And I think the answer is no. But anyways, we can still watch it together. Yes. We just start at the same time. That's j that that is true. No, we shouldn't. We shouldn't. But um so Madeline, whom I love, my left Uh she uh she cleaned cleaned up the closet, do do do do do.

And um which I'm so grateful for. And you know, this is one of those projects that we have. It's one of the I won't have a name for this kind of project, but I'm aware of it as a type, which is Projects that have an implicit understanding that Madeline's gonna get rid of things and I'm okay with that and I need to not know What got thrown out. Yes. You know what I mean? I think maybe a lot of us have somebody in their life where you're on one end or the other of that. And a lot of times, honestly, it leads to pretty contentious stuff if you don't have that tacit agreement. But I'm like 'Cause I will find stuff in the trash sometimes and bring it to my office. I my my wife is throwing out stuff that I consider heirloom quality child things and I bring it to my office and it's why I say to my kid, you know, you you understand my office has basically just become a museum to your childhood that no longer exists.

And he says, I'm aware of that. Put out that Ikea little little IKEA table they used to sit at to play writer. And t Tigger would sit with him, they'd have tea parties, that little tiny table from Ikea with two chairs. I brought that to the office. Oh I couldn't bear to see her thread that out. Isn't that sad? Uh I'm sure that you will find very useful at me. Kier Walsh is scowling at me so hard right now. Oh Melan, do you really need to do it? Is this a does a tiny does a tiny children's table have a place in the future you like to imagine yourself having? You know, you made a standing desk out of one of them before. That was the IKEA kitchen. That's one of the best gifts ever. Yeah. When kids are little, they can get inside it and put their head through it.

If you take up the sink. It's so cute. They look like a little rubbit. I mean not just kids. Linda Hunt could do it. Linda Hunt said my name once. Did you know that? No, I didn't. I interviewed um the actor John Hodgman uh for a uh po public radio series. I wasn't saying yeah duh. I was saying yes. I it was a good interview. Wait, no, I haven't seen this video. One of those no small parts videos Um here's the treat though, and when Madeline did find things that uh she she did decided not to throw out in mass uh she put them in one place. You know what I forgot about? Well not forgot about, but haven't thought about. We had this wild hair Roderick and I had. Like we're thinking, oh And 'cause honestly, like, you know, I'm not really super into like, oh, let's sell merchandise.

But I I like making money, but more saliently, I like making I mean I like shirts that I would want to wear. I like cool stuff that people would like. You know what I mean? And we had this idea of like what if cause the bell which started out as John's orange bell from Mealborns or Pitt or like one of the seventies games. But that's how the bell thing started, was Roderick hitting a bell. And then I got a bell. And at one point we were like, what if we got bells and we both like autographed it and decorated it and sold it for 20 bucks or something? And like I've got a bell, I have had a bell that I'm pretty happy with. It goes something like this. Let me hear your bell, please I it's I don't know where it is.

I don't know where it is. How do you lose it? I'm trying to find Oh, you don't want to see my desk right now. Um long story short, I had purchased um with my own American money, um most of the lobby bells that were available on Amazon and I had them delivered to me. So I have at my house that I'm gonna go home and get during our break. If I can. Um, I think I have at least two and maybe four different bells. And I thought we could It's not not to replace either of our bell in particular, but could we find between your bell, my bell, and the new bells, could we find a combination of bells That would make us look forward to dinging together. Yes. I like that. Would you consider that a treat for you?

I would consider it a treat. Okay, I've got your address now, finally. I put it in a secure channel on Signal. I've lived here in for ten years. Oh No, but you used to always have everything delivered to the office and you don't work there. Oh that's true. Yes. It is true. I don't say things because I'm stupid, Alex. I say them because I'm smart. I got stepped over. Sometimes I still think about when I asked you and Max So if we were, you know, if we were the Corleone kids, uh, who who would each of us be? If we were Dawn if we were the Dawn and Mama's children. Who would each one of us who are the three of us which which one would we each be? No duplicates, right? It's gotta be one one and only one?

No duplicates. The silence that followed was like I expected it, but I didn't expect just the the Well Max would be sunny. Well, I mean there's one there's one there's one that seems uh mine might be Michael. There's one that really seems would you be Tom? Did you ever see Dog Day Afternoon? Did you ever see Dog Day Afternoon? I have not. No. Oh man. I am smart. Um but up but um bum bum. What else did I have for you? What else did I write down here? Um we gotta talk about so I'll go on and get the bells. The bells the bells, and then maybe we can watch the end of the TV show together. Yes. Now we wouldn't would we wouldn't rec if we did record that and put it out, that would be its own totally.

We should listen to the silent yes, they can listen to the silent. And we'll tell them how to sync it up. You just go to like minute 47 and 32 seconds. No, let's go to the we we will it will be the moment he's unbelievably limited appeal. Yes. Are you up to the point where they're like facing in different directions while he's getting examined? That's yep, that's exact uh the lawyer, there's the nurse, there's Stephen Graham. Did you know Steven Graham is the co the co-star, the co-writer, and the co-creator of that show? Oh no. Isn't that insane? And he's from Liverpool. He's smarter than he seems. It's not that funny. No, but the way you talk about according to English comedy, the way you talk about Liverpool is primarily you're always referring to the fact that everyone there is a criminal.

But also, what does Stuart Lee say? Talking about the past in an annoying whiny voice. I don't know about that though. I love all music. Mm-hmm. Uh and we got bells, the bells, the bells. And what else did I write down here? I had um something else to tell you. Oh, I wanted to know how you do Apple Watch Dictation. We'll talk about this in the after show. The after show is something we do, so this is your what you're listening to now is a podcast. or or netcast if you like. And this is the the public one of those that anybody's you know welcome to listen to and people who over the years have found some kind of an interest affection or or hatred of what we do here. They can choose to support us by going to giveus your fucking money.

com. That is a real URL. Please type it in. That'll take you to Patreon. And what is the suggestion? Like $5 a month? We never say. Yes. Yes. We suggest you give us five dollars a month and every time we record, which is generally at at least three and usually four times a month You get this regular episode, but then on top of it, you also get a the after show, which is where we talk more about things. And and and we take off our pants and it gets a little silly. Unlike the spirit stakes. You come off every time? They I I don't I don't take them off fully off every time. You take them partly off, you drop them around your ankles, they gotta sit down. Yeah, yeah. I I don't know. Yes, you were very good.

Wasn't I wasn't seriously though, like wasn't I pretty fucking good in the middle part? Yes, yes. I feel good about I I'm I'm I'm I I feel bad about the extent to which I Hems and hod like I do with the chicken problem thing. And also because some of those were pretty new ideas, but I feel really good about what I said. And I'll bet there's somebody out there that needed to hear what I said. And that made me feel good. No, it was one of those episodes where I sent them it to multiple people and I'm like, hey, hey, maybe we should listen to this, you know. Christina finally decided to show up, which is nice. She used to be Christina. Um So give us your fucking money. com and we could really use the money.

Like hardly anybody subscribed to this anymore, and the ones that do are are the real heroes. We don't list their names and things because it's not the kind of thing we do. Alex can talk to you on the Discord probably. I imagine there's a Discord for this. No. Oh good. Oh yeah, we shut that down because uh because I had people on it. When will people love or learn They won't. Um that is what I wrote down was, oh my gosh, my my eyes are really going, Alex. I need these spectacles. Um, I gotta remount my clock. That's not really your concern. I want to talk about Apple dictation and what you use. And I will get bells. And if you're into it, I would like to watch the end of the show with you. And we could do it in companionable silence if you want.

I'm probably gonna make some uncomfortable noises, but I mean yeah, let's let's go for it. Or we could just skip it. I don't know. I gotta find Steven. Do you say Steve Stephen Yoon? S I think Stephen s r ruit. Right. Rune. Rune. Important. It's important. Important. Important. And what did I write down? Oh Ed Kemper. My handwriting's really bad. And um the watch uh episode. The watch episode of of of what? The Guys on the Watch, which is a show that I like. For a long time I've used it, it's one of those shows that like walks right up to the edge of bro-iness that I can handle. It's like like why you know I love Adam Scott. I love like I could not listen to the YouTube podcast. It was so broy.

Or like the shit that like the job from Arrested Development does. It's all just it's just a bunch of people slumming. from being real actors. They don't give a fuck about the medium. And they're just broing out and using words like fr friend of the pod and on the last pod. They love saying pod. They love saying pod. Oh you know what they do also? You know a new one. I'm so happy to see this one come along. Um we don't, you know, record an episode. We've got to record. A I have never I don't like that I've you've now told me that I I'm telling you, man, this this verb to noun thing is Way out of hand. I'm okay with compute. It makes sense, but people are not using it the right way. I mean, is there not a better way to put that than compute?

You couldn't say computing power or n or n like net computing power or like why do you say compute? It's got more compute. Because Because it's like agentic and hallucination. These are words that uh have been assigned to the zeitgeist, even though confabulation is the correct form of the same thing. I'm not resigned. I was saying why that is happening. I am not resigned because I was. No, you're just bored by those people. You're not mad. You're just bored. You love books. I do. I love Hugh Fraser's um narration of the row. Books and I need to get into those. Everybody loves them. I don't know if you ju I don't know. Probably not. Huh I don't think Hercule Pero Oh, oh you know what I started I started I just did something I almost never ever ever do just because I have ethics.

Um I listened to an audiobook. Uh started listening to God. Can I say you're ableist because you you don't like audio Yeah, okay. Ableist Merlin Mann. Uh listen to an audiobook. Go on. Oh w was that the important part of the sentence or was that just the first part of the sentence? Can I add two words to it? Yes. On Spotify. Oh. Does that change it at all for you? Like I I don't I don't listen even if it interests me I don't listen to podcasts on ne on Spotify and I avoid I listen to some of the Getty Lee one But I I generally avoid anything on Spotify that's not the music I requested. If I can dismiss a window, I dismiss it. I just want them to know I'm mad at them about podcasts. I love them for music.

I love them for music. I don't I don't care. I know it doesn't, but everyone's like any of them. I like I like the MP3. It's kind of like drawing a funny face in a steamy mirror after a shower. That kind of feeling of substantiality. That's a shit fucking app. It's oh no, it is absolute shit. I have um I'm dragging of things in the app I started listening to T and it tells you where to do it. Yeah, you gotta figure it out. I was listening to Careless People a little bit. The Facebook uh book by the lady. Oh, they really Barbara Streisand affected that one. I don't understand. Why is the strisand effect an internet reference? That did not happen on the internet. The everything that caused the strisand effect did not happen on the internet.

I'm s it's not an a phrase. Where do they publish the photos of her house? In tabloids. Isn't that like the the major thing was like tabloids? Print print tabloids. Yes, I'm not sure. Please don't. I literally don't care. It's so vital that we know. What is it with you people that you like hook on to the tiniest little it's like it's like how I'm always getting The Velcro is stuck to myself as I moved through the house. I'm like, how do we have this much Velcro? It's always sticking to me. That's you. Well because because I find that the stress and effect like it was an important thing kind of like the nipple the nip slip The yeah, it was 2003, coined by Mike Masnik after yes. So it was people writing the So I'm sorry I misunderstood.

I forgot. It was different. It was back when we had print tabloids, right? And then everybody responded by printing their own tabloids to talk about this. Is that right? That's because it was really a a physical media story. That all over the world, because everybody has their own tabloid that they print and distribute That's how the Streisand effect turned into something that was a big problem. You know what? I think you're right. I think it had something to do with I think there were some Oh yeah, we gotta face our problems. Um Friend of the Pod. Uh boy Cherl Sherrol who's Lean Inn? Uh Cheryl Sandberg. She does not come off great in this book. And to be honest, there's there it is one of those things though also where like it's well written.

This this this person and presumably whoever helped them, you know, do it. Like there's a good job. It's but like there's also there even in the like the first part you're kind of like where she's talking about this event from her childhood that had a huge impact on her. This terrifying thing that happened to her. And um still I'm like, mm Yeah, but you did work there for a pretty long time. You really wanted to work there, and then you figured out how to work there and then you stayed there for such a long time. I that's why I've kind of avoided any of uh Well I just clicked it because it was there and also because did I sing the the video of Billy announcing the prom thing? Yes. What's the prompt theme?

What's the prom thing? Gatsby. And the title of that Facebook book comes from the great Gatsby. Oh. Nick and Nora were careless people. You know, they would hide behind their money, blah blah blah. It's a famous line from the Greek Catsby. Which is a pretty good book. And an amazing Bos Lorman movie. The it's it's a dilemma. Another thing that you can r watch instead of like there's two movies by the DvD or by the Blu-ray player right now. Um I've got currently well Paper Moon, Blade Runner, and there's a the our copy of Great Gatsby DVD is always right there. Because sometimes Billy just put it out and want to watch a little bit of Great Gatsby. I do that. We should have known the signs were there for a long time.

You know, this kid's not normal. Not really hooked up right. I I like I like Moulin Rirsch. I mean you gotta you gotta be well it's also funny because Oh shit, you haven't got an episode two. But um, yeah, they do show a lot of movies and videos in school and like it's just I feel like all they do, not all they do, but a lot of what they do is watch movies. And some of the scenes from a Gatsby movie they watched. Was it the one that my beloved late mother in law was an extra in, shot in nineteen seventy four? No. They don't show that one. They show from the Boz Lorman movie. When they talked about Romeo and Juliet Do you want to guess what they should did? No. Was this the same teacher or is this like a systematic teacher No, they're great teachers.

Uh no, but me and where the guns say sword on it. Remember that? Yes. Leguzama's great in those movies, I think. He's really well suited, especially Moulin Rouge. What is he? I heard I heard a rumor that Bos Lorman is straight. Do you have anything that you can tell me about this? I have never no, I there's nothing I no, the answer is no. I don't know. Did you know that Tom Hollander is straight? No. You know who he is? Google Tom Hollander. He's um he's the the head of the of the homosexuals on White Lotus. He's yeah he's the guy who works for Dickie Roper in the Night Manager. Oh, oh he's um easy peasy lemon squeezy guy. in the thick of it. Yeah. No, it's gonna be difficult, difficult. Lemon difficult.

He's that little guy. I've never really thought of him He's straight and he has a hot wife. It's uh Tom Hollander Wife. Gulit. Why is that no worthy? Have you ever seen him play anybody who's not gay? Obviously you don't know who he is, you wouldn't know. No, I have to see He's heavily gay coded in almost everything he's in. But yeah, well uh I was gonna say but the Pirates of the Caribbean guy, but never mind. Oh shit, he is in Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah, that's that's his main there's that's what I think. Who's he married to? I think he's married to a hot woman. Not Alexa Chong. No, but no, it's Bos Lerman Gay. Here we go. Is. Okay. This is confusing, right? Boz Luhrman i he's from Australia, right?

Uh uh sure. But he didn't he didn't do Priscilla Queen of the desert, right? That's not him, right? Uh ask the dingus. I d I don't know. I'm not Is it gonna get me on the right? I always spell it wrong and then the Facebook guy pops up. Or uh excuse me, the meta guy. Is Bos Lorman gay. Um if he has a hot wife, I'm gonna be really frustrated. He's married to Catherine Martin, a costume and production designer. They've been married since 1997 and they have two children together. So no, M Bash. He is not gay. Ah so no so could have just So no, he is not gay. That's a little sassy. My goodness. I like Tom Hollander a lot. Have you ever seen The Night Manager? No, I have not. Sports really good. I can't get my stupid fucking kid to watch it.

And it's got it's got it's my favorite little dick. What? What are you muttering about? He's just a little asshole. Oh, piece of shit, no doubt. Yeah, total piece of shit. Drove himself to school today. Oh, and he's improving his time at track, because you know apparently he runs track now. And does model UN And is gonna be tutoring children for the SAT. Oh, and is gonna get a better fitting suit than me. Come on. Oh, you should see some of the candidates. I he tried on my Seersucker suit that I wore the day I met John Doe from X. Um, but no, it's way too big, way too roomy. He's he's becoming very fit. That is another thing that happens. Really you stretch out a little bit. Uh well and the The muscles happen.

Isn't that a fascinating thing to think about? Isn't I mean like really? When you stop and think about it. You think about like there's something that you can take at the time when your body is most mostly done, well, except for your fucking brain, is done forming. And it's like, and it can still continue to change your body. It's so wild that we can do that. It's awesome. It's awesome. I totally agree. I could not be any happier about my kid being hungry. I never wanted to want my kid to be hungry this much. T T T T. That was a dumb episode. raw transcript