427. A Break from Myself

This is Dubai Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Alex Cox and Merlin Mann. This week's challenge. Try a new drug. Hello, hello. Good morning, Alex. How are you? I am great. Excellent. You've come to the right place. We've been waiting for you. Won't you come in? Has your whole party arrived? Can I start you with a drink? This is your first time dining with us. You? I was asked uh right? I know. Um Uh some um a very nice uh hostess asked me that at a bar and I said Which which? Wait which Um the hostess. Sorry, ask you which of those things. Um uh have you dined? W ha how are you? We're so glad to have you here. Have you been with us before? And I just said, Yes, because it's risky. Yeah.

And 'cause you don't know, you might you might be expected then you say, well then okay fine, then we'll take you straight to the second chamber. And you say, wait a minute, where are the chambers? And you say, they they say, well I thought you dined with us. You gotta go find out what that second chamber is. What lot worse I can just tell you I've been there and it's a lot worse than the first chamber. I can't tell you about it, because you're a liar I don't collude with liars. I lied. I I I lied and what's worse, I lied with confidence. And Did you can you figure out I mean I I think I understand why people ask that This is a very, very, very, very old joke on Do by Friday. You go to a place, you just want to have dinner and talk to your friends.

You sit down and then somebody the the waitron says to you, is this your first time dining with us? And I think the old joke, especially with Max, goes, you know, we do things a little bit different here. We serve things family style or what what you call small plates. Everything everything that we serve. You've heard that everybody out there, I I'm sorry I'm explaining a joke, but you've all heard this, right? You've all sat down and then somebody explains food to you. And they say, well, you know, we do things a little bit different here. Everything, and this is the first time I ever went to a Tapas place, I got this experience where they go like, everything we everything on our menu is meant to be so say or um shared.

And it's like, well, okay. Uh you want to tell me anything about like tax structures or like the way you got easements for the pri anything else about your business I need to know before I talk to my friends without you telling me about restaurants But but um my understanding uh my my in my understanding of that I think there are places where that makes some sense more than others. Yes. I'll give you an example from my childhood. Uh there's um I to call it a chain is a little bit silly, but there was this really wild, like very kind of exotic, fun, touristy place called K Pak Tree Inn. And uh they did serve everything family style. Like when you ordered, you ordered for the whole table and shared, you know, whatever you wanted.

But it was the seventies. They didn't say that. They'd like it was K-pack tree. You figured it out. But if there's places where there's like a a bit. Uh like small plates or what are what are other examples of this? Uh you know, but if there's a flight of something, if the appetizers come out in a strange way. The like there's you think so? Yeah, I mean or like Brazilian. If you've never been to um a uh I always confuse the painting style with the Brazilian restaurant One's Churosco and one's Churoscuro, I think. One's downstairs. One Is this your first time at CGI Rembrandt? But you said I'm being silly. But then you say you say you say something like, Okay, well if you've never been here, here's the way it works.

It's a flat price, it's uh it's a bricks fix And you're you go uh to our extensive uh salad bar thing and get whatever you want, A Y C E. And then what's gonna happen is uh men in cool outfits are gonna walk around with swords of meat. And we'll offer them to you. There's a l you'll notice on your table there's a cute little wheel. I only remember obrogato. It's the only word I remember. But there's a little wheel that has a green and a red side. And w if you won't don't want us to bug you for a while. turn it to red and if you're always ready for more meat, like Daddy is, y you switch it to green and they they keep bringing you meat and they bring you chicken heart, they bring you salty sirloin and all those delicious Brazilian foods.

I think that makes a thousand percent. sense. I think it's become something people do to be a little bit cute as a as a as a restaurant. There's a difference though because you you like words. Words mean things. You don't and saying uh I think you distrust words, which is smart. I yeah. Makes you sad. Yes, everything is sad ultimately. Men always end with anger and you you you land on fear and sadness. Listen, I'm not sure if you're not going to be able to do that. No, the problem was I was there first meeting uh people. Has your whole party arrived? We only see we only seek groups once the whole party has arrived. Your first time dining with us? Is this your fifth time dining with us? Because the fi call that the fifth time.

No, we call that the meal the meal sank. And the fifth meal. It gets fucking weird. So it's very important you tell us exactly how many times you've been here. I'm trying to remember. I feel like I've been here twice, but I might have been here up to four times. Oh shit. We gotta fucking figure this out because your fifth time. No, that's silly. That they don't do that. I'm no my bit is funny, but that they wouldn't actually do that. Is it like grades? Where they find out if like, oh, it's your it's your fourth time dining here, so you learn state history, that kind of thing? Like uh Domo oh gosh. Domo ergato, Mr. Roboto. Domo Welcome to my dojo. Thank you for inviting me to do to your dojo. For example, I I didn't know what Benihano, uh what a Benny Honey uh was until the office came out and the very famous Benny Hana episode.

Um I don't I only make that noise because it it seems like something you would have come across in Chicagoland area. I sort of did. There's this restaurant called Domo77 that likes to think it's better than Dem E That sounds like a French sex comedy I would have seen on Cinemax in 1981. What would you say? What is it called? Domo seventy seven? Domo seventy seven. I'll put it in notes. Be because it is a little bit. Charlene is a flight attendant who enjoys Tepanyaki But she can can she catch a truly hot shrimp in her mouth or a puzzle or hijab It's it's it's it's really like one of those places 77. Oh, I don't like the video. So the Tepanyaki, but the Tepanyaki phenomenon, the idea Tepanyaki as performed in America.

Where it's like a little show and you go and you sit around a hot table and the chef uh shoots uh uh rice at your friend. That that that kind of thing. Yes. So I I wasn't. Oh no no no pocket. Really? You got one hand in your pocket and the other hand's giving you a tepanaki? I didn't know that's what they called it. Isn't it ironic? I love Tepny video. He's expanded since then, but it used to be he would just go to like kind of not always crazy high-end, but pretty high-end Tepanyaki places and get uh a dish and he would just film the person making it and him almost eating it. Mmm. Almost eat it as well. What is an almost okay? Well you tell me. What would almost meet meeting mean to you, Alex?

Like like, the food would go into the body that we've seen or would it not? Okay. What the fuck does that mean we've talked about this? Because food what does uh uh the act of eating versus almost eating, because you say I want to eat something when really I just want to bite it like a like a piece of soap. Is that an almost eat or is an almost eat like it just goes close some food goes close to the mouth or is almost eat like, oh I'm looking at it. I really want to I'm gonna keep this super short and I don't want to overly embarrass you. In the context of YouTube if you were watching a YouTube video, how would you describe describe someone almost eating? Do you think he would put it in his mouth, chew it, and spit it out on video at the Nice Tepanyaki place?

Is that what is that what Aiden Films would do? I don't know if that's what Aiden Films would do, but you seen v YouTube videos where people spit out food in a high end uh restaurant? Well hiatus. What's your favorite channel? What's your favorite channel on that? Oh I don't know. I do not have a favorite channel. No. What's the one with the interview Trump voters? What's that one called Um, I don't even remember anymore. The most uh the most kiddingest whites you've ever known. Are you making me fun of the money? I'm making fun of everything you recommend. I'm I'm also making fun, I'm not gonna get to it right now, but I'm trying I'm sc I'm s I'm scurrying, I'm running. I don't know why. I don't know why.

I'm like I'm like fucking uh I was gonna say Dionysus, but I think that's the wine guy. I'm like Sisyphus. I fucking run. I'm ready. I'm here. I'm here ten minutes early. Uh-huh. And and you're In candor, usually not. And then I got a text from you a little bit ago. Mm-hmm. It looks like it's about a fifteen hundred word text that you sent me. Why would you send me this long why do you s Um, I think it makes sense sometimes, but I think a lot of the times it's just trying to make you feel a little bit special and ha having worked in restaurants and having friends who worked in like More like in like chain restaurants of different kinds. Like I there's like a lot of training and there's a lot of like they tell you what to say when you go out there.

You're supposed to say, Hi, my name is Skip. How are we doing tonight? for some reason. Even if your name's not Skip, it's weird. Listen, we send text a little bit differently here and they do have markdown format and there's context and there's a footnote as well. I've never had a waiter needed to be a good one. Why wouldn't you send that to me as a markdown file though? Uh you know what? Good question. I did consider it. That's a very good question. Uh yeah, you know what? Also it's just, you know what? I I just I've been I've had this idea going over in my head for hmm a few days and like cause it feels important And and like some things, it starts out as, man, I hate the way fucking people are.

And then it turns into, man, I'm like that. That sucks. And then it turns into, oh man, could we all kind of stop doing this this You know those kinds of things where you're like you you kinda like finally like like realize stuff, you know, about life. Yeah. Oh yes. Yeah. Yes. Um And I've already hinted at this a little bit in the document. I got this new thing I'm just kind of like turning over in my head. And it's about me and it's about the world. Okay? Let me just stipulate that. Um Don't give people homework. And that's a that's a lesson I'm trying to learn because I uh I don't mean to give people homework, but I sometimes unintentionally or like in a what I think of as a friendly way to give people homework.

And like, and that can mean so many different kinds of things. Like, first of all, like do you get what I mean? Like like for example, like the way I am with you. There's nobody in the world that I am worse about this with, arguably, than you. And it's usually a joke. But it's only a joke in the sense that I don't actually expect you to do any of it. It's not a joke in the sense that I'm gonna keep recommending TV TV shows and movies and YouTube videos to you because You uh there's just stuff I feel like it would be fun, and it's kind of a funny bit, right? Mm-hmm. But I don't think of that as homework in the usual way, and I'll tell you why. When I think of homework, the and I'm analogizing that to adult relationships, um, the real homework, the kind I really hate.

is one where I feel an obligation to do it and I dread somebody checking in to see if I've done the homework yet. And let's go back to first principles, Clarice. I never ask for that homework. So this can be like people who give you presents when you know what they really want is a compliment or a thank you or like a photo of you using it or like you know what I mean? There's those kinds of like super sweaty friends who are like who just live to like constantly be owed a slight favor. I mean in a moment or compliments. How well do you know this person especially like think about like people you're dating or like whatever you have to be so careful with what you give people what what it's you know what I mean I have a story.

Yeah, yeah. Go on. I got a lot of stories. Um anyways, and I'm so I'm trying to I'm thinking about that and I already try not to give people homework unless I anticipate the homework part though, the part that makes like I say Just underscore. It's n it's it's it's less a way of saying, like, oh, um, if you like uh Nathan for You, you might want to check out John Benjamin's Got a Van. like to me the homework people it tends to come across more as, oh my God, you know, I've been watching this series for five years and it's it's good, but there's this one episode in season six. that I'm not even gonna tell you what it is. You just gotta trust me. And like watch I do stu I do shit like this all the time.

Like and then then of course you're like, oh okay, cool. Yeah I'll I haven't seen that, you know, but yeah cool. Yeah. And then somebody checks in with you. They check in they they check in and see if your homework is done. Like have you done that yet? Mm-hmm. Oh and so let me do the big pivot and then I'm gonna throw it to you 'cause I've talked a lot. You know I don't want to do that in general. But you know, dude, fucking don't give me homework if I don't know you. Like I already get so much homework. from strangers, like like doctors and like there's people who are just always putting something onto you and saying, this is your thing now that you have to go take care of. And I'll check in with you about it.

You know? And so yeah, don't give people homework. And like I don't know, I guess I guess the the the pivot here is if I'm here to talk to my friends and like have a meal Like I almost wish you could just it's like a taxi ride or something. I wish you could just you know, like in the Brazilian restaurant you could say, you know, y I don't w I want green uh green I want more meat, red I want no meat. I almost want to just be able to say, if it wouldn't if it would be cool with you, can we just make this kind of low-key? And like, for example, do not interrupt me to ask if I want if my food is good, if I'm talking to somebody. All of that feels like homework. Where it's like there's just these constant demands of other people to like adhere to the way they want you to experience something, and then we'll check in with you to make sure you're doing it correctly.

Mm-hmm. And that's not directed toward anybody except mostly me. But like the last thing I want is a fucking waiter coming in there and like wanting to give me a TED talk on how a sauce works. Did you get some of the sauce? Excuse me? Excuse me? Oh no. I just want to make sure you know that that comes with a jus. And you wanna what with each bite you wanna add a little bit. I've I've had so many people try to explain food to me because they thought I didn't know how sauces worked. People I love, people I love have explained food to me. Stop explaining food, stop giving people homework. That's my feeling on this This feels like another very American or or at least like Western thing of the expectation from childhood of how I grew up w with homework, at least, because I've mentioned before that I do think regrets are silly and can be really damaging.

But I do kind of regret always doing my homework in school because it was an Nobody told you nobody told you there was an option to do anything, then do your ho homework tonight perfectly. And no one said like it's gonna be fine if you if you're you know just getting in trouble in eighth grade. Like you'll probably be fine. And I just say I totally agree. I just want to say I totally agree with you. I think it's I think it's and I I I I can only speak from my own experience and speculate about others' experience, but that absolutely comports with the experience that I had. And that becomes so frustrating in in trying to think about our past and talk about it is like when people look back at the past, they see so many more options than I did.

People see so many more options for how we all could have behaved better, how we could have all done things, how we all could have fought the fight the powers that be, all that kind of stuff. And like if you weren't there, you don't know what it was really like. And like in my case it's so frustrating to me to have to feel like I I've gotta like keep underscoring. Like as as terrible as the world is and as terrible as we all were, don't you th th do you think you're that different from everybody who's ever been alive? Is there is there something that's so special about having been born after nineteen eighty-five that gives you some kind of insight into the world that the the b the the billions of people who've lived never had before?

Do you honestly believe your park? All that uh uh m uh you think people post nineteen eighty five are more givers. Didn't you realize didn't you well no, but listen. Like don't you don't you understand how empowerment works and that you were not standing in your power when you were doing all that homework? What but like why why didn't you why didn't you why didn't you fight back? I've heard that. Still don't know what it means. No, it's good. No, it makes a ton of sense. Because you're using words in different ways, which is clever. Um but you know what I mean? Like do you but now you this is I'm the one who's always the the pill about this, but you are in a place to understand what I mean when I'm a pill about that.

Which is like if I were to sit here and creep Okay, real real quick last week when it was like s you made it a bit, but it genuinely kind of broke my brain when you uh s skipped class. That was just t to me I skipping class was so far not an option. It did not it I was I was eighteen and I w I skipped school exactly one day. I skipped well, I left school early illegally once with my girlfriend and my best friend to go buy a shirt. I was ride to to uh it was our last week of uh senior uh uh last week senior year of high school. My friends and I, you know, we're all uh honor roll freaks. We're like Okay, we've heard that some kids in this school have skipped class and and s- sorry, when I say skip class, I don't mean leave the school.

No, no, no. I at s at a this Catholic school, skipping class meant going to the cafeteria and hanging out with other kids when because that's when their uh study hall was. Oh so you would you could Yes. Okay. Except e except we were the kind of kids who never did that. I never never broke it. Uh w we were openly mocked by the dean of the like there was that I don't know if again like uh all of the dean of the The Dean of the Dean. Um Well, because it wouldn't be a Dean of Boys or Girls. It would be, you know. Imagine the opposite of uh the the dean from community that's kind of like how uh high school uh deans were in uh the mid-20s. So somebody tall, straight, lots of hair, doesn't wear costumes?

Uh um Yep, and uh not excited. Uh no no th no cost uh costume. Uh but would J s right? Uh but uh this the dean and things like he he's the cop of like a principal, like walking through to make sure that kids are fine, maybe. Yeah, we had a principal. I think it's like prime ministers and presidents or something. We had the principal of the school and a dean of boys and a dean of girls. And amongst amongst their skills was or amongst their responsibilities, it wasn't purely disciplinary, but that was a big part of what they did was like keeping order. Mm-hmm. And he w would walk around with um the fuck, what were they called? Oh my god. I guess they were so upsetting to me that I don't uh oh Like a little piece of paper where you would get in trouble, but it wasn't detention.

It wasn't a little bit more. Basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so we were trying to see from our non-secular citation. The particular individual was seen in the cafeteria. And uh and he saw us and just started laughing. And it's like Alex, Derek, Kara, no, no, you're pulling Kara into this stuff? No, it's not upsetting to me because she's not allowed to listen to the show. Oh, she's gone now from the city. No, I I mean I banned her IP a long time ago. Oh, I said hi. Well Oh, that's true. She did she just she didn't hear that. Um, but it was so funny to him and the multiple other teachers. Because you're a good goody. that we were yeah, and also just like, no, you would never like it was just so expected that we were the type of kids and also that should tell you about how there were like the the good ones at the school.

even and you know the quote bad ones didn't leave the school. They went to the cafeteria and had Bosco sticks. And so just coming And that is sort of why I think, oh, they were so Bosco Bosco is um is your version of um Like Nessa's quick, like chocolate drink, chocolate milk drink? No, Bosco sticks are um frozen uh or uh not No, that it's bread with cheese in it, but it's yeah, that's it. It's it's bread with a piece of uh like a mozzarella stick and they would heat it up. Uh i did you ever have market days? It's kind of uh similar to um a kids with money only situation. No, I don't think we did. Um Potluck or something? Uh no, it wa you would buy a bunch of food uh that supposedly. helped the school the same where way a book fairly at the school no I I save it for a after show.

I I've I have both sold so many different things at school and I've been tangentially involved in fraud. involving selling things at school. And I person put myself into personal debt based on the Snickers bars I ate and then had to pay the uh stage ban for. The oh Because I gotta high on my own supply. Biggie says specifically not to do that. That's one of the ten craft commandments, right? Isn't it? Um I don't know. I I skipped cla I skipped class that one time. I missed the last time. I think he likes when people call him Big Papa, but I'm not sure. Mm. A big poppy is a baseball player, that's a different thing. Anyway, I'm I'm immune to narrative, but that's just why I think Oh Bosco sticks.

Yeah, and they'll be in notes. These look way more delicious than anything. Um does that's the internet. No. Um we're talking. Uh my field notes notebook Is it open? No, I I haven't written would you like me to open it? I can. No. It's it it got really What do you look at? Why would it matter? Because you asked me and I am reciprocating. Is that I look at I look at what I'm looking at is just whatever's in front of my eyes, but I'm not My hands are right here you can hear. I'm not using the internet at all. I try not to use the internet when I'm talking to people. No, no, that's just my own thing. That's not a that's not a judgment. Now I've got to find out what this word is. I keep using the wrong word for this.

Not for w for what? Well that was that was the brief sashura of conversation that we normally have when people don't talk as fast as much as me. I I would need a way of saying I'm not what I just said to you is not w the takeaway, as they say, is that what I just said to you Does not ro was not intended to make you feel or look bad and is in no way a passive-aggressive demand for you to do anything or to do anything differently. And I keep using the wrong the word for that, I keep using the word performative, but that's not what I mean. That's not the right word. There's another word for that. But like when you say to somebody, well, you know, there's classics, like is your hair supposed to look like that?

So you're kind of y you want a reverse performance. So you you want to go no don't don't don't don't focus on the word performative because like I said that's the wrong word. It's what I'm saying is like uh uh uh there's I th felt like I used to know a term for this in the nineties. But it's when you say something to somebody and whether or not either or both of you acknowledge it A thing that comes a that comes out as just a statement. Okay, yesterday. Yesterday I I said I can't find either of my So I said I think I said it because I said I said that thing our little kid used to say I said dang it I can't find either of my marine layer shirts that I wear every day And then Madeline started apologizing and saying it's probably and I said, honey, that was not I'm no, that was me.

Maybe I just shouldn't talk when I'm doing things, but like That was not a criticism of you, and I certainly don't think you're hiding my clothes. And if you did, I wouldn't say anything. I mean, if you were hiding my clothes and I found out, it would be fine. I mean there's we got bigger problems in this world. If there's a piece of clothing I have that you don't like, I know there's stuff you've thrown out of mine, and that's fine. I try not to look at the trash because there's always so much good stuff in our trash. Um, but um no, and that's that's really how you thrive in life. We gotta find the word for that. There's a word for that. I'll find it out. Um let's go way back because we were onto something um really good uh earlier.

You were talking about adult homework and I just adult homework, yeah. think that it is a certain type not even a certain type of person, but just uh yeah, it's a power expectation that's I don't know. Saying like well why are you homework? If you're trying to get better, you gotta give yourself a pass, you know? Mm-hmm. The the thing is if you don't do the homework, you're gonna feel I I I don't know. It's hard to do it. The homework at a restaurant or with a friend without which kind of um well, even at a restaurant, then there's the oh God, what if I don't get a tip? Like if y uh uh oh no to like show up and somebody there's a a real guy like man you know, ma guy as in man. There's a real m American man thing to like coming up to a table full of strangers and immediately asserting some authority over how the evening's gonna go.

Right? Do you follow what I mean? Like if you're sitting around like I mean and I get it. I think I get I get why. It's a very like mid market like chilies kind of way to be. Like places where they want to think that people like they've got their reasons why they do everything. And but like when you show up and you're like, hey guys, how we doing? I'm Chip. Can I get you started with some and and you're like, dude, we're talking about my friend's divorce. Can you just fucking exhale? Like it really bugs me when in when people aren't even like looking for an opening to come in. And it's like, and then but so like there's that's the first the first part is people like that suck. Like I get that's your job.

But like the the people or like cops, the way the cops are, like in that same but everybody who's got like a little shtick that they open with to come in and like assert authority over like without even intending to like this is the way this is gonna go I am setting let me put it this way I am setting the tone for the next little bit of time we spend together right and like you know I don't want you to set that tone. If I'd known you were going to set a tone here, then I would have done something differently. or different. I would have gone somewhere else. If I knew that coming here required me participating in some little passion play about your job, I would not have done that. Because that's that's not fun for me.

So suddenly that homework then is not only like you're fucking up my night and I'm paying you for it, to be a little bit callo, but honest, but then I'm not allowed to break the bit So like when a salesperson is doing salesperson stuff to me, being how I am, it's very difficult for me not to break the to I s I wanna really want to break the bit, not to be mean, but just to go like you're in a store and somebody's like they give you the Sephora treatment or whatever where they're fucking all over you like white on rice and you're like, no I'm just looking around, thank you and blah blah and you know whatever and like but a little of that is fine but then it can be a lot and the thing is what I can't say is look I mean, is your job retail sucks.

It's a really hard job. Being a waiter is really hard work. I I I really appreciate that. And I'm I don't tip you and stuff, but like like I am not prepared to spend the next forty five minutes talking to you a lot. about whatever it is you feel like talking to our table about and interrupting our conversation where we're paying to be here in order to do that. Because guess who's the dick now? In the same way. I mean, I I I always think like, well increasingly I take Waymo's, which is the only way to fly. But if you're in a cab or you're in a in a whatever, uh a lift or whatever I mean, there's like a butt I think there's a button you can hit now and lift to say you want a uh like a chat free ride.

I just wish there was some kind of an easy way to like Say like I don't feel like you need to fill the air with conversation. One of the best things about a Waymo is you can go to sleep. It's amazing. You can just lay there and close your eyes. It took me months of y of being on in Waymo's to get to where I stopped paying attention to what was happening in the world. You don't need to pay attention to what's happening in the world. You're just sitting there. Like it's the way a cab ride should be. This should be a chance for me to not have to expend the energy that I have. Ideally a cab ride is a should be in my head a really good time for me to recharge rather than release energy. Mm-hmm. I can see how s this would sound antisocial on its face, because I w used to be kind of of the same mind of I I want to be part of the bit until you realize that it's more of a it it's like corporate uh homework.

It is Like, okay, it is your job to do the mandatory fun and uh we want the vibe at this restaurant. We want everyone. to have set up the relationship in the way that we have set it up and for making it this is my opinion, not necessarily in the documents, the manual, but like and to make it a little bit weird. if if you don't go with our bit. Because our bit about how we talk to you not only improves sales, it also helps establish the rhythm for how quickly we need to turn tables in this given night. Like if we need if we're gonna do two seatings tonight, that's one thing. If we're gonna try and do four seatings tonight, the way that we're talking to you talking to you has a big role in that.

goes back to last week and talking about denominators. Like it's nice to have an evening where I mean there's there's probably a f depending on the restaurant in particular, I bet there's an a I bet there's diminishing returns to people being in a restaurant more than an hour. Like, you know, there's all the weird things of like, well, large groups tend to tip less unless you put an automatic, you know, tip on there. Or like, you know, but luxurious, you know, multi-course meals, they drinks are where, you know, alcohol is where restaurants make a lot of money. They like you do that. But really they want you to fucking leave. Because no mat almost with with I don't I mean think pound for pound in a restaurant like let's say chili's or you know uh Applebee's or whatever I think they make more money from another seating than they do from you s staying the equivalent of even one-third of a seating longer than somebody else.

That's a denominator thing. You know what I'm talking about? Like you do a number of they call them turnovers. How many turnovers can we do tonight? So like if we if we've got if we can seat a hundred people And we can we've done our reservations in such a way that we want to do, say, three turnovers tonight. So we open at six and we close at ten or whatever. Do you know what I mean? You know what I'm talking about? Yes. And so you're building into it. You need to make assumptions. Food's expensive. Like you gotta buy fresh food. You gotta use, you got all this stuff. It's like it's God, what a crazy job to run a restaurant. But like when we had a restaurant when I was in junior high, like that was a huge thing, was we had to have those big three turnovers a night Mm, I uh sort of memory hole that I technically worked in in a restaurant for i a year and or at least like with and a s uh beside uh uh cooks and uh the the game cafe in Chicago.

The g game cafe in Chicago was like co th uh co owned and co opened with Cards Against Humanity and uh being uh uh basically a hospitality person you learn all of uh the culture of restaurants. Like you you'd think that would make me be like, oh, I uh know this a l a little bit more because of six months or or y you like being you have far more uh I was a bus boy at Mark at mom and stepfather's restaurant But like uh then yeah, yeah. But I was a bus boy. But just the the scope of it is absolutely wild. Scope of the hospitality needs Um, oh no, of uh r the restaurant i industry because uh y you mention Applebee's and I w you're you're right, like, oh yeah, there there is that turnover. like in Applebee's and a Chili's, but now there's uh a difference between the r the chains that still have waders like in Applebee's Versus T GI Fridays where you have to order on the little iPads.

Oh no kidding. They they stuck with like QR codes or This was pre-COVID. Wait, they've got an iPad on the table that you order? Literally an iPad. It's a little uh you will interact through a device rather than through a person, yes? Mm-hmm. Yes. And uh in It's another new weird social code where if i if you're the uh the waiter if you need to answer questions from the customers about how to use the little digital uh thing uh th that also has a section for games for kids. Um then you have failed and if your boss now sees can you even imagine touching that thing I always think of I have told my wife about this many times in in in in instances like this, this is super fast, but my doctor, when I was a kid, my pediatrician, Dr.

Dyne. uh when I was sick, go to his office, blah blah blah blah blah. And he had the best toys. Like cause you know he's a pediatrician. So he had a whole bunch of toys the kids could play with. And I always would play with the Fisher Price Garage. um you know like little fish press little people and I didn't have the garage I loved the garage it had a ramp it had an elevator it was really really cool and now all I can think about It's how much snot and spit and vomit of sick kids is on every little person. As well as the garage. And that device you and so is there any chance that any of the food at that restaurant is finger food? I really want you to think about First of all, how many people have touched that screen?

I want you to think about how many people have touched that screen while they're eating And I want you to think about how many people have touched that screen while they're eating and then continued eating finger food after they touch that screen. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then lick their fingers a little bit. Let eat them up and mm-hmm. And and on top of that, you can't get a big thing. Baby got back. I think we all know how painful that can be. That's a laugh because I don't understand w where where that what what's when I was a kid the the there were there were funny theme restaurants, at least in Cincinnati, and I think Um I mean it's too much to go into, but like, you know, uh there were places uh the point I wanna make, one of my favorite places to go with my mom was there were several weird, funny restaurants in Cincinnati that had funny themes.

There was one called like the spaghetti warehouse or something. where you would go where we would go for like my birthday and everybody's dressed up, you know, kinda like in pulp fiction, remember where everybody's dressed up as a fifties person? People at this this is in the seventies. And people would all be dressed, like each waiter would be dressed up as a different kind of like a famous movie character or something. And I love that. But the one that to me was so goddamn cool. I forget what it's called, like uh, you know, Buster Tea Butterworth or whatever. But some goddamn restaurant where you go and you sit and you sit in the booth and there's a phone on the table. whole bit of this restaurant is you interact through a phone.

So you pick up the phone and they say, hello Table 10, what can I do for you? And you say, could I please get another mojito Or I want more fry juice or whatever. But I think you could also call other tables. And that was the 70s angle. Oh my god. Wouldn't that be nice to be sitting there eating and you receive a call? Talk about homework. Oh no. Oh no. Oh god. What a terrible idea. I think I'll give you a good chicken fingering. Okay, my nugs. Speaking of uh do you want to talk about drugs? Oh yes. This week's challenge was to do more drugs. Did I say it right? No. No. Okay. Um and a friend had sent me a For the longest time, I in my cabinet I had a little package of one milligram THC uh Indica gummies.

And Those are the kind that are supposed to make you chill and sleepy. The only way I remember it is because Max told me in Indica means in the couch. I told him that I'm sorry. Wow, yes, that's a good way to do that. The way that I learned that was Alex. The way that I learned about that was that Alex told me that indica means in the couch, and that's how I remember it. I'm not mad at you. Um I know. You're just you're just how everyone is. You're just how everyone is. Every everybody is just staring at an empty can and not eating any of the contents. I knew as soon as see we're all trying our best. No, but some of you aren't. A lot of you are reacting always at the same level. It's very it's very broad and not very deep and everyone's very angry.

The uh I agree. It wasn't uh Somebody had sent you some um one milligram indica things and and were I think in particular for sleeping Uh, just relaxing. It j just says relax and chill. And I uh am constantly trying to sleep better. The m honestly, half of the challenges we do uh For me, I hope will result in a better way to do that. I kind of figured that. That's why I suggested uh the perfect neighbor, because I I had a feeling That would help you sleep better. Yeah, I was odd thing to say. Very odd thing for you to say. Um Half the challenges, huh? No, it's not. Well it is odd because it's inaccurate and you just you you did the thing again where you just started saying words and now you feel like you have to defend the words.

Uh I'm not I'm not pretending. I'm ex explaining how um the mind does when uh When we did uh we watched The Perfect Neighbor, I watched that immediately because I knew it would make me sad. It did, and I did not want to watch it before bed. Um when There's something like uh want something different. That was a a I don't think we talked about it in the episode, but want something different wa uh to me was like I am I don't want to sleep. right now. I want to relax. And I talk about this all the time, but I do think it is very important to distinguish between relaxing and sleeping because sleeping makes me anxious and I can't sleep if I am not relaxing. While while you're sleeping or when you're trying to sleep?

When I am um when uh w when I'm try when I am trying to It's stressful for you to get to sleep and stay asleep? Yes. Yeah Uh yes. Um and it's w it's gr what a great feeling to wake up and immediately be like, oh no. the uh bougie of it's my oh bougie of waking up and seeing that it's still dark. Um but the you remember does blow my mind. Oh boji. Thank you for that. You hear it from two rooms away. Hello Richard. As far as I'm concerned, all you new wavers are in purgatory. Oh, I always say R Purgatory is instead instead of R in. I I apologize. Um the uh The so the t taking of drugs in general uh has been an attempt for me to relax. from the the previous narrative uh I I gave one might not be surprised you know that I d didn't ever like take Take THC.

Uh, but you know, like ha have weed until I was well into adulthood. Um and uh the same I'm not even talking about like a illicit s stuff where I um have always tried to get better sleep. Uh uh melatonin, a thing that helps lots of people. Oh I no, uh full on opposite for me. It gives me nightmares and uh that's not super un Yeah, it's not super. Also, which is like, gosh, stop saying that things don't have effects. And uh the uh uh just weed is one of those uh or um no I will I will say weed as in like marijuana the whole just um genre and not specific chemical like like THC or C B D or C BG. All of these things that are so very different and not as readily studied as a lot of the uh uh drugs I am on from my doctor that help my brain.

Um we just don't know that much about them. And so it it's I was talking about this le a long time ago about how frustrated I was that it's really difficult to get really, really tiny um uh just just tiny amounts of uh THC. And I I found it And oh look, one one milligram one milligram uh I just w I want to say just in passing though, I mean like I I want to continue to say be careful with all this stuff. uh uh you know even if it's just quote unquote just one what is neat about in my experience with THC uh edibles modern contemporary rather edibles is that it i it is so beneficial to me that these are uh in my experience anyway pretty accurate seen accurately dosed or consistently dosed. So like if you learn like, oh half of these is half of one is and a lot of them, the ones I get, like a lot of the edibles are scored.

You know, so you could start with half of one or something like that. But I do think that's a benefit over the smokable kind or the unknown provenance kind is knowing is on the one hand, if you've never had this particular thing before, whatever that thing is, you have a better sense of what it's supposed to do and knowing that it's a an amount that will do what you expect, hopefully. But then in the long run to just know that consistently, I mean it would be almost like sometimes you pull out a stick of gum and it explodes in your mouth. Like that doesn't happen, right? Because gum always has the same amount of gum stuff in it. And to know that like there's this uh edible or this gummy or this whatever in your case with these ones, like that's that's really good.

Now you have a baseline you can establish and that you can trust is you know within reason. Yeah, within reason. What's the thing? Yeah. And The same thing happens with a lot of pharmaceuticals as well. Like legal my whole thing is when people are like, oh yeah, SSRI is super safe, like Your whole thing is with people. S-S-R-I-S-C-S-Selective series. Oh my god. You're slurring, and I'm asking you. You're talking about s uh ser selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, and your point about that is what? No. No point is not what that means. th th thing is just the blanket assumptions th or statements made about any chemical that you put in your body. And I worry about sounding at this point a little bit like make America.

I'm worried that you don't realize that the point you're trying to make is frequently the opposite of the point that you're making And that's why I keep dunning you and beating your ass about because you I understand what I g I understand and I agree with you. It's just that's not what you're saying. You keep you keep making these like broad I just want to be careful with our listeners. That's why I keep being a dick about it. Is I I agree with you. I agree with you that it's a bummer that that stuff is inconsistent. And I think it's a bummer that people say things they are in no position to assure you about, about like what effectiveness or known effects. I that all drives me crazy too. Uh all I'm trying to say Partly to explain myself but mostly to just ask you to be careful with not telling our listeners the opposite of what you actually think, is that, you know, I I agree with you.

But m make sure because sometimes it sounds like you're saying so just take all the drugs you want. P I know I'm not what we're saying. I mean I I agree and I get emotional. Well stop getting mad about me pointing it out then. No, I get emotional. Because it sounds like you're fighting with me instead of fighting with misinformation. Which you're providing to people by making these these what you were saying last week was bananas and I just want to like disassociate myself. Said it sarcastically and then I agree. I I know Um I don't look I was wrong, but I was wrong in a way I didn't intend, so shut up. I um the Uh the way that um I w w wanted to go about this challenge was just I d never had uh access to a TC tiny amount, um, since uh we don't have by we I mean Chicago doesn't really like It w it's still new here, edibles and like.

Yeah, the the there's still so much novelty to it that I you can it's cheaper to buy like a ten milligram gigantic g bag of gummy bears than it would be to get like just a large bag of ten milligram gummy bears, you mean? Yeah, I guess. I made it sound like a giant a gummy bear bouncing here. I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna be I'm gonna be uh I'm gonna be all over you like stink on shit with this stuff, so just be aware that I will be parsing your words in ways that don't harm our listeners. So just be aware. Yeah. I uh 'cause these are things that mean things I know. Yeah. And so what'd you try? Did you try your so anyway, context. Did you try them? What'd you think? Oh yeah. I ha I just had one Milligram of Indica THC gummies every other night for six days and It was fine.

I did not experience uh uh That's good. That's that that's like search bar has been cleared, you're not in an asylum. Uh no. No. Um, you know, he did too much of that stuff and he got real weird. So you don't want to do that. You don't want to get damaged. No. You're bad enough if you're alive. The the well the other reason um I I put this badly last week. I was trying to state that for me, right? Uh egg they them. Um that just again, like in the culture of Chicago, because uh legal THC still such a novelty, it's more for funsy time and not so much a quote medicinal or quote mm to treat something. And so I've never been like, I want to try to take this to relax versus, oh, this is something that we do instead of drinking.

Does that make sense? No, right. Like uh with your with a group of the part the part I'm not getting is is the imp the I'm the part I'm I'm sliding off of a little bit is the this is new in Chicago part Marijuana's been around for a really, really, really long time. So is it that there is it that there are people who had never done it before that are trying it now? That's the unusual thing? Now that it's legal, people are more open to the idea of trying this for thus and such reason, and it may not be it's for rec largely recreational, I want to get a little bit high reasons. rather than for something that y somebody frames as being a more practical or or science adjacent medical adjacent reason.

Mm-hmm. And it is seen as less deviant. Like you know, even in college it was like, mm, I s I smell that or oh those brownies. I don't know. And uh uh you know, it still like a moral failing whether you're like a stoner or oh god, you're black and smoking something. Mm-hmm smells a little weird. Um and then uh Dispensaries came to the suburbs and it's in sta especially folks in their mid-late twenties And uh to forties instead of going out and drinking, just having like a five milligram edible. I'm sorry, I don't want to do percenta like Uh people find the equivalent. Could you use the word mild? Uh yes. Thank you. Actually, yes, that's very helpful. Yeah. Instead of going out and having uh um Two or three drinks.

You could also just say instead of going out and having a lot of alcohol, you could choose to have um um a mild uh dose of uh THC. Um the way you'd avoid numbers. But it it's so you don't feel sick the next morning. That's why older peop it's become popular with quote o older people. Um and cause youth youth is the uh the anomaly. Uh 'cause you know, there's no Most people uh who have g kids, I'm led to understand, can't puke and rally as easily, f m mostly for time purposes. Uh so uh yeah. never had tried uh THC or C B D for like medicine m medicinal purposes and I'm like, ooh, I wonder if these little things will help me relax because I have not been sleeping well nor have I been relaxing well in any way.

Um and I expected to have it help me relax the same way when you know having a mild amount with friends in the past l instead of uh drinking be like oh this is relax it's chill It m made it was like a bit of a painkiller. Like my I often get headaches, me, I know, crazy. Uh, you know, my jaw locks up. And that was uh interesting. That sounds like teeth clenching, Alex. I'll just say what it was. I kept getting a a head a headache that would really, really hurt kind of like near my neck, like at the base. Which is unusual. Because usually when I get a headache, it's like kind of in the front. Like kind of an occipital headache. But like, uh and my shrink was like, Well yeah, you're probably clenching your teeth.

And when you clench your teeth, the thing is when you clench it, there's it's a weird mechanism, you know? It's like when you read about the vagus nerve and you're how the you're like, how the fuck is the vagus nerve real? There's no way. That might as well be the yellow brick road. You're telling me it touches all of those organ systems? That's completely insane. And that's how I felt, because it was like, well, you clench your teeth Which means you're probably also tensing up your shoulders. And when you do that little combination of subtle things all day long, it's like when you sit on your foot for an hour and then try to stand up. It's not that big a deal for a minute, but if you do it like all day You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Did you had you ever r gotten to that with the realizing it might be teeth clenching? Oh yeah. I've tried um or jaw clinching I don't know what it's called draw maxing is that what it's called uh draw uh TMJ it's the TMJ muscle so most people are like I have TMJ. You also have to be careful with ball gags. The If you throw them too hard it can really hurt somebody. I really should have a uh dentist that isn't in the suburbs However, um my dentist. Alex is seeking an urban dentist. The playing funk music. Well speaking of urban, oh my god. I I just realized I wonder if I could take a little gummy and go to the dentist. Uh but anyway, the dentist. So we're talking still about the effects of your one milligram.

I yes. Oh sorry. Some dentists have a bite blocker. But if you go to a new dentist and say, Can I have a bite blocker and you're not a you know teeth expert uh like I am not? They don't know what a bite blocker is in Excel. Given that they are familiar with mouth, they could probably figure out something I uh uh yeah, but no. Um it wasn't until the pediatric uh I explained it and still the technician was like, I have no idea what you're gonna do. So what was the context for taking the one milligram? Were you at home? Were you like in a like a place where you felt secure? No, I'm this is not a joke. I think that's worth asking. Like you did you go into it with uh prayerfully? Did you go into it thinking like I'm gonna be I'm not gonna go out and like I'm not gonna get on the train and take one of these and see how it goes Yeah, I uh put on Totoro and uh like a stereotypical thing that I would do if uh Remember when they find the shoe and it's not her shoe?

That's May's cool. That's May's cool. I have a really cute you know those little cute cups you can get for tea that have a bunch of Japanese things on it and the word in Japanese. Have you ever seen those little cups you can get? I have one of those for Totoro And it's really, really cute. It's got all like little Totoro things on it. I do also have a Totoro, um, I have a Totoro keychain that's got got the little stock of corn on it. And if you look inside, you can see little tiny suck gram ones. Oh my g I n I oh Mmm, I love the sprite. I love them so much. Also that's anyone. Also, we are bad people for watching the version that's been dubbed in English. You have to watch the subtitle version to watch it properly, I've been told.

What a stupid bucket, for example, is not the actual line, I've been told. Mm-hmm. Yes. The the context is very very different. Has ever stopped enjoying things wrong. Um so a as I was enjoying Coach Row wrong. I was enjoying to that that was like my my intention. Oh man. That that's what happened. So like but like a start of the hey let's go Hey, let's I love the beginning of that. Oh my god, I love that movie. And then the sound of the car. I thought that was a policeman. I love that movie so much. You know, that's the fanning sisters, though that's when they're little. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And and now they're in Gasper No A movies. You know, it's crazy shit. It's so weird, I know. I'm like, oh man, I feel really uncomfortable.

It's like when there there was the countdown for when the Olsen twins turned 18. It felt so creepy to be watching whichever fanning girl that was uh in that movie. Anyways, um so you try you you're hey let's go. You know you're happy as can be. Um yeah, Chocharo is my baseline for how I'm feeling pretty much with any sort of Totoro's your baseline for how you're feeling. I know if I am uh Like feeling f feeling fine as they say. Uh from I know that. What is that? I'm trying, I feel like it's the Simpsons, but Yeah, or trading places. No, that's not it. Anyways, go ahead. So that's your baseline. Great movie. A lot of fun. By b uh baseline, I mean if Totoro is on Everything's probably g uh good.

Like it's uh like if anything whereas if I'm watching hypernormalization, maybe things aren't so great. S y yeah, no, I'm putting this wrong. Me? Um, like if I I put on Totro, I am I've seen it so many times throughout my entire life I know exactly how I feel when my emotions aren't in uh l it like aren't in an unhealthy place w one way or another, like if I'm not like if I'm not sure. I get it Okay, so how about this? I don't know how to put this I know No, no, no, no. How about I I know I'm getting sick when my throat hurts, but especially when coffee tastes weird. Yes. Right? So you've got what's the word? Oh it's a word I've never learned how to pronounce, and I'm gonna look it up during the break.

But you've got not a blank slake, not a not a tabula rasa, but you're able, it becomes like a I'm trying to just stop trying to be clever. Stop being clever, Merlin. When you watch it, you can tell how from how you feel about it, you know how you feel. Because you know you have you've got the like you said, you've reset the calibration And w if you're feeling three ronkin, like it's it's probably not because of Totoro. Um so if I was uh i if let's say I had like a fun time m like five milligram uh g gummy in the past or Uh I I would be l just freaking out way too excited about the sit sprites and really excited about oh my god it's growing the trees are growing and just like v you know thrilled in a way that you ever see the Bob's burgers bit with Totora?

Yes really well done Dunk dunk dunk dunk dunk. I love the music in those movies so much. So what did it tell me? Well what did it tell you about how things were going? I did well I did not cr uh cry when they're going to be able to do that. You're gonna talk about your experience with the drugs eventually, is that right? That is y yes, because if I had I'm I'm saying like um in the past with a uh with more drugs or more alcohol, like less involved with faculties I would be far more emotional about the film To Totoro, um either being very excited or or really sad. Whereas just with a one milligram gummy, I'm like, yes, I enjoy this movie. I don't think I feel that cognitively different, except maybe.

Again, like the feeling of relaxation, but there's sometimes if it works well, it it is just uh I mean it's such a dumb phrase. It just gets you out of your own head. Yeah, yeah. And it's not that it's not that you want to be wrecked, but I I I being how I am, I have come to really appreciate a s mostly dependable way to have a break from myself. That Maybe that's the same thing. Oh my god, I wish I did. That's the point. The point is that made me so happy. Oh, and it's like it's like, you know, like I'm not into vacations. Other people like vacations. The the vacation I need is from how I am in my head. Which is which I know is not helpful, but it's it's how I am. It's who I am. I don't hate how I am.

I don't hate who I am. But boy could I ever use it's in the same way I hope you don't hate your job. It's still nice to have a week off. Mm-hmm. This is partly where I'd like to be held in some kind of uh coma-like state for 30 days. I want a reset full reset. As uh Robert L Lowell said, uh I don't want to show you. Oh my god, I think my penis just moved. Sad to think how much pain I've caused in this world because there wasn't enough salt in my brain. You think? Wait, now it's close. Well no, that wasn't the was that the quote? Oh shit, that's a perfect quote. Let me pull it up. Let me pull it up. It's while he's being interviewed with uh one of the Strauss Shiru guys. Uh uh I forget where I first read that.

I first read it in my favorite biography, but not fully a biography, uh, setting the river on fire. Which I'm sure there's a set of things. Oh setting the a study of genius, mania, and character and Oh really? Well so you know about this, like by the time he was well The dolphin was not his best work and a lot of people say it's because he'd finally gotten his shit figured out. He stopped leaving his wife every spring. Sorry. That was my own. and leave his wife and like he would show up conducting the trying to conduct the Boston Symphony and eventually get putting put back in uh Macklin's or whatever it's not you know the institution was that he was in MacArthur's, yeah. MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark with the sweet green icing flowing down.

I hold a locked razor, is what he says. Remember in his in his in his French sailor shirt, Cock of the Walk? God, Waking in the Blue. Very good poem. It's terrible, Bob, to think that all I've suffered and all the suffering I've caused might have arisen from the lack of a little salt in my brain. Isn't that good? And I uh I I was actually talking to to a friend of uh no it's um seemly hey hey and be hey how I realized I could appreciate po I started appreciating poetry way more, not because I s started to try or or I both stopped trying to quote get it um y you know like what what it's gotta trust you gotta you gotta you gotta hear it and you gotta feel it. Yeah. You you know reading reading it is it's different.

That's like that's like reading a recipe and thinking it's a meal. Yeah, like like when I was listening to Ellen Ginsburg stuff, that's it's like I enjoyed it, but the stuff you sent me, I'm like, oh holy shit. Hearing him do how much is is pretty neat Oh, it's and hearing T. S. Elliott do do the Wasteland. I mean, the Wasteland is such a confusing poem, even if you understand what the fuck it's kind of about. You know. April is the Cruelles month, breeding lilacs out to the dead land, mixing memory with desire, studding dull roots with spring rain. Winter kept us warm. Coming over the starnberg, you say Chanti, Chanti. He's from Missouri. Did you know he's from Missouri? No, no idea. April is the cruelest month.

Really? Really Tom? Is that how we're gonna do this? Do you remember did I ever did I ever did I ever did if we were talking about Billy Collins and his poem about memory? Have we ever talked about that? Ironically enough, have we ever talked about that? Uh I don't think so. God, I I just realized that the poems of Robert Lowell could also be a um a a calibration for for me because the life studies especially life studies. Uh d'accord. For re reading not necessarily his poetry but the letters and correspondence he had with his friends. That I I I it f I don't know, it it fucked me up in a in a nice way, uh starting to read a lot of correspondence between a lot of uh poets Marianne Moore is that the one he wrote to a lot?

Oh oh I don't remember Mary with the tricorn hat I think Marianne Moore was the woman one of the women people he wrote to a lot Isn't it weird how much people used to write to other people? Gratcho Marks used to write to everybody. It's the nuttiest thing. It's it's it's That's awesome. And that why I'm glad that voice memos aren't coming back in a big way. They're very fun. Some people hate them, and that is I understand why. Voice memos that you send to people Mm-hmm. Oh yeah, that's some bullshit. Don't ever send me that. You you keep seeing that. Oh I know. No, no, you don't know because you continue to send me unmarked media. You sent me unmarked media recently on Monday, I believe, that w just with the phrase all caps big week.

Mm-hmm. Which is why I sent you your uh file uh which I guess was homework. That's h that is homework. The um I mean context uh the that's a word you know, yeah. I was watching Totoro with my one million. Can I just also say b just cause it's driving me fucking crazy, I do love the way you say Totoro because I know I pronounce it too casually because I say Totoro Like it's the opposite of a frog or the friend of a frog. Mm-hmm. But wait, are frog and toad friends? Frog and toad are friends, is that right? But totoro, you say totoro, which I like. Oh, I just assume that I'm saying it wrong or someone will tell me that I'm saying it wrong. So I do what is a good mouth. It's nice that people listen.

Uh so the drugs. But so so drugs and I just realized oh man, my my Jaw, neck and shoulders don't like and that, you know, turns out not th thinking about how I should put my shoulders down, which does help me relax, but in order to relax you have to think really hard. For me to say it again, self-awareness is the hack. You can't change anything until you're aware that something needs to be changed And I'll keep saying that because you guys don't realize that and you think you realize it and you don't. You haven't. Otherwise you'd already be better. You have to become self-aware about the thing that you are trying to change. And you have to become triple self-aware if it's a thing you are trying to improve.

It's really, really hard. And it takes a lot of presence of mind that does not come naturally to a lot of people, least of all people like me and you. Or it's an accident when pick a drug. Um the that that's it. I was open-minded about a thing that I uh d I went in with zero expectations uh other than I am in a safe uh place with the uh can all my controls just It and it I was like, oh, this is a nice w uh way to uh uh to feel I d I don't know, it wasn't it wasn't that deep other than the nice realization that my yeah no I mean I d uh you're don't need to impress me. Like I think it's super cool. I think it's cool. Yeah the only the another phrase I heard from hippies in I'll tell you in a minute.

Another phrase I heard from hippies in college was there's only two doses of drugs too much and not enough. Which sounds like one of those say hippie hippie things, but it really is true. And you, much to your credit, were on the side of not enough, which is good. I don't know, because I have to find it. Well, because you weren't f but like you follow but Alex, that's the point of the of the the funny bit, is that once you've taken too much, it's too late. You're on the good side of that. You were on the side of that, which is like it have I like I'm not sad that I did this. So maybe I should take more. And if there's anything you don't want to fuck around with, it's edibles. Like sp oh man, don't take another one if you haven't felt the first one.

Yeah, I did. I tried a new uh I tried a new smokable weed and I liked it a lot and it's good. I'm not comfortable talking about drugs. Um but uh uh I think there's a sane way to do a lot of this stuff, and fortunately now that it is becoming less illegal uh in a lot of places, uh there's more information out there and it's not not all bad. And uh you know the in some ways the corporatization of some of this stuff I think has been beneficial for us. Uh I think it's far from an unalloyed good. Um, but I'm glad it's out there. Makes me happy. It's not the only kind of drug that's out there. Some of you wanna I've never done mushrooms. Of all the things I've done, I've done a lot of crazy psychedelics and I've never done mushrooms which is it's hard to explain to people like how weird that is.

If you're somebody it would be like saying like uh what what would it be? It would be like saying, oh shit, there's a funny I just saw a very funny bit about this. Oh damn, I'll think of it later. But um it would be like being very into uh very like being very into sixties music and never having heard the Beatles. Wait, wait. Because mushrooms are usually the if there's any psychedelic that people, especially today, have taken, it's probably mushrooms. It's not it's not LSD, it's not 2CB, it's not it could be MDMA, um which I think kind of fits in slots in with that same kind of family. I've had I've had San Pedro, which is a kind of cooked down cactus. I've had Hawaiian Woodrose Seeds. I've like I said I have 2CB.

I've had uh uh I think I had DMT once. Of course I've had hash and weed. But I've never had mushrooms. No, no, no, no, but I'm saying that to make the point that ergo, it's weird that I've never had mushrooms. It's just never Turned out that way. I've had organic psychedelics a bunch. First time I ever tripped was on something called San Pedro. And um, but I've never um No, never had it. I feel like I should. Now how do you control the dose with those? Do you know a lot about mushrooms? I don't want to lose my mind. I have no interest in it. I don't have yeah. No interest at all? You know you see cartoon cats when you take my own. But cause opposites attract. MC Scatcat, he's before your time.

Holy shit, turn straight up came out a year or two before you were born. Wow. Roger Rabbit. I had the 12-inch of that. Roger Rabbit Rabbit. Uh he yeah, yeah. Roger Rabbit Rabbit came out the year before I was. And he was in the Paula Abdul video with MC Scatcat? Um, no, but he was based off of that the the his how do you how do you say the the word of uh how he was drawn, like his his fizzy of la uh I I don't know. He looks like him. He's got the same like suspenders and shit. A little bit, except a bunny. And I thought that uh Roger Rabbit was a Disney character and they just happened to do a space jam with a Disney character and I didn't know for years that no That's an adjective I'm not familiar with Or I guess.

What what what is space jams? Oh, you mean where you combine live action and I had not yet seen duck soup. I didn't know Yeah. Have you ever seen duck so that was kind of funny. Hey you did it. Woo! Thank you. Thank you. Ah, we did it. raw transcript