378. Lawnchair Installer

They're eating the cats. I live in a tree. Then there was the Adirondack craze we all lost a lot of money on. If I hear one more fucking person tell me what Kamala Harris needs to say to seven people in Bucks County, I'm gonna lose my goddamn mind. And so I did slow down. They're not that fun, they could be bigger. Where like what I'll do is I'll go between sweet and savory at night. But like, do I want to go with another course of savory or another course of sweet? You know, did you ever read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy when you were a kid? Is this something that like comes up in the algorithm on on TikTok or is something you read about? Where do you go? Well is it Pluto TV? Like they've got what they've got, and then they've got to make some kind of a meal out of all these ingredients for the last episode.

The dark haired woman is the one who had Travis, right? But I wanna try the pillows. And there's a really good guitar solo. We're back in our universe. Is there a swag bag? Has anything that Kamala Harris said tonight done anything that Well, it's always good to get new information, but I do have a meringue on my head and I'm undecided. When you have a kid in elementary school, you're always doing things to raise money for the school. But anyway, they went on a bowls. And so sometimes you receive an alert electronically that lets you know where you should eat dinner tonight because that's where money goes. He and my grandfather lived through the depression. When Rachel Mata Rachel Maddow read him the entirety of Taylor Swift's post.

I was like, it had the same conversation I just had with you, which was like, you know, remember how like during the debate we were both like screaming and like, uh, and is this okay and yelling tips? Uh the yeah. That better be for your job because otherwise you're a piece of shit. Snickers bar in your in your mind. Right? Yeah. There's a time where they both understood they had to like sort of work together to get things done. And he said, 'Cause that's where all the money is. Gay. Instead of like you know how they used to play like the garden chah. The well I mean enough waiting rooms are you uh how often are you in with waiting rooms? Uh. Uh the I know shocking. Mr. Now usually if you're waiting for children they just d drop ship them to you.

uh wait, because I don't watch So you you you know all these mean things. Uh I know conjunction. Because I bought one of those, you know, fancy leaf antennas. Oh my god, I love Travis so much. Chimp tearing someone's face off, quote unquote. Do you see what I'm saying though about how it was practicing practically like she deliberately wanted it to be spiky and uneven? Uh spotlight Mark Ruffalo the Hulk they got taken down by the Hulk. This week's challenge, watch chimp crazy. Hey Alex, good morning. I'm called, um, I'm called uh Madam Lady Lindell. Because Oh, we're doing a bit. I did see someone say that on TV. W just the briefest of context. Oh I I read it on Twitter. Um any Okay, we'll just be freewheeling.

Uh who s it this is like the Haitian dog thing. I I d I don't know. Well here's to your Haitian dogs. Well, I don't know. Every time anything happens and then talk about it so we can see who it is that's having such a difficult time mulling over this very, very difficult decision. Merlin and I have been talking about it. Ale hey hey Alex, have you had a chance to see any of the interviews with undecided voters? talk to other people. That's absolutely correct. It's like Survivor. But let's let's talk to our uh let's talk to our older man who lives in a tree. uh a big presidential debate. while we've made it through this critical last 12 hours. The aesthetic uh this guy's aesthetic is very specific.

Uh is that the accent of the undecided voter that's just like what brings them together? Yes, because that's me. Maybe you don't really want a donut. I'd gone in for uh jury duty, potential jury duty that morning. for something to happen in crucial Waukeshaw County. Like, can't you just be a little bit cynical about this and just be like, oh ha ha ha low, we're all gonna die? if you haven't reasons to care about the world because you can be entertained by almost nothing. If I did, I'd probably eat it. I I was just I I was I was yelling at the screen like a person who watches sports and I was like I kept yelling to her, okay, good, like yes, yes, okay, but don't respond too much. Okay, but after it was done, and I was like, I that was good, right?

Because not everybody's reachable. I was watching live TV. of of finding the way a way to be weirded out by something that's genuinely like a great news. And this happened on live TV. How everything has to be the way you hoped it would be and on brand for the way that you like to be excited about something. If you don't get why that's a big deal, fuck off. let alone your mom gave birth to you. which was also very fucking funny. L how successfully she had stipulated or asserted something. I don't know. things that will need to be fact checked at hand, but then can also, in the moment, in real time, as they like to say on TV, can like say to the person, yeah, we just checked this and there's three sources that say this is not true.

to the screen of the person there. Uh let me put this in a way that might be hopefully will make I hope will make this easier for you to understand. When you talk about whether she's allowed uh to to have a bag removed from her body because she was raped by her father, when all the times that you're litigating whether that's okay in your view, that she get her rapist baby out of her. So so last night, pretty good, huh? F I don't think I have changed that much in that I was thrilled, thrilled when I saw the Taylor Swift thing. Uh something I don't see very much anymore, which is in my media viewing, where because I'm still so stimulated from the evening. And listening to Vivaldi's The Four Seasons, especially Summer.

Is it fun size or is it bite-sized? And so that would make it, I guess, approximately a third of a shareable size. I I'll never forget my friend John, who you've heard about on this show. And I and I I fell in love so quickly. But in a similar way that Kurt Vonnegut's style in Slaughterhouse 5, for better or for worse, had a big impact on me, Douglas Adams' style in Hitchhiker's Guide. But th it was like okay, so anybody like I don't know if I'm quoting that right. Like I'm talking about you can move up to the next level and you get like, oh this one's got like forty kinds of MMs in it. Daddy buy me a three-pound bag of candy because it's relevant. I I I hope I could be forgiven for confusing this with something I heard from mad men, but um but I I've heard people say for a long time that and there's a lot of great quotes about advertising and how it works, but Because they give everybody cigarettes.

But they had a famous I should find uh you know what? close up in a magazine, full page magazine ad of like a man with a black eye, a fake black eye, sort of smoking, a woman, all these different people with black eyes. What do we mean when we say preaching to the choir? And like their dads are walking back with a case of Bush, Bush beer, and you're like, oh man, that's a rough life. It's a big deal if Taylor Taylor Swift does that. And I'm still getting texts for her because she's such a bleeding art liberal. You know, a lot of times I don't cry until the sad thing is over because I I I my body would not would never allow me to cry while the sad thing is happening. Sometimes the times that I'm most angry are when I'm happiest because that's when my body and my mind can handle dealing with that emotion.

My poor wife who has not had this phone number for fifteen years, whenever the iPhone came out when I took over her old ATT number. It's kind of like what you say about YouTube and like how you've dressed me down a little bit for being critical of people having to do what they need to do to make money on YouTube. I just want those guys to be able to those people on YouTube, I just want them to be able to keep making what they make and me to get to keep enjoying it and I'm willing to overlook a lot of the things that people who in my opinion are doing dumb things for no good reason. And I I just I feel for the people who have gone down the rabbit hole of making YouTube worse. And I I really I just reject or I it's difficult for me to accept the idea that there's their stuff is actually getting dumber because of the knock-on effects of of getting behind that.

I'm I'm sorry, I'm covering myself with more. Um but but if Mr. I'm not like instead of no instead of instead of CNN now that you see a lot of Mr. Uh if if m if Mr. uh but I I don't know how actually influential th that is. Who's the who's the who's the oh uh Lex Fridman's show? There's like there's but like it's a lot of like kind of broy right wing Charlie Kirky kind of things. tends to skew a little bit more in terms of audience to the people who would vote for Donald Trump, it seems to me. headlines that like you said You've got to get off the internet Alex I've not find another thing to do. No, I I get yeah, I get just I know people send it to you. It's not. YouTube videos while you're in a waiting room.

I don't know what I'm saying. And I'm encouraging you to learn more about the good people at Renewal by Anderson and how they are different from most installers and most manufacturers. was renewable by Anderson because they they're a wholly owned subsidiary of Anderson Windows, right? Right? to t to really defend any of this which makes no sense. Well this was before my my time. some really top-notch, you know, uh um figure four, uh, you know what I'm saying? jury duty or like whatever. There's a hat and a hat and another hat. So I g I think if I were uh 'cause I don't think w we have similar TVs, like uh the and with all of the LG stuff. J Vid Ooh, I don't know. I was finally I was so mad I turned it off like ten minutes before the end.

keep animals. will say things like he's half chimpanzee and half human. Uh whatever you think of that aside, like emergency situ like, okay, let's say under the the uh it had to happen for a chimp to survive for some reason. The way that this woman's like, yeah, I just breastfed my my chimp. with a chimp either, but that's probably just Oh my god I forgot. And the Chinese rickshaw Buller's deck. But I've always heard that chimps are the same same thing I brought into this was that yeah, chimps are amazing. But also, they weigh 200 pounds and they're so much taller than you think. Chimp lady. Even though she will sell you one for sixty-five thousand dollars. Well let me ask you this, because I really don't want to talk about this much longer.

And KFC, if you don't know, is code for Catholic school, and they were always the best Little League teams. But it's shame you never lose. Is that related okay, hang on. He was molested in, was it Sixth Sense? Oh, holy shit. Ha ha ha ha! Title. What Merlin? Pretty close to what I think of as a pillow. suddenly give people deeply online references that they don't know, it and without any context, it makes you seem weird. I So that's okay, sorry, touche. I'm just gonna let you talk from now on. I really get on the beaches back in Port au Prince. It has not redounded to our success. Do they keep talking? I don't know. I guess it I like getting all the information that I can. Uh no you're you've you you you you're so upset that you're spelling out adjectives with letters.

And I said Don't feel too bad for him. Exactly. Yes. has uh streaming C. where people can and will at be asked to be both customers and servers. Far from the tr no. the thing my 2016 flashbulb memory, whatever that day was, I do I mean I've told this story many times, but on that November morning. And they went out to this poke place to like a or like a Hawaiian like a bowl store. If I if I had to let boy now I'm r if you're a superstitious superstitious person, you can skip this part. Remember the joke about a guy in Gainesville who cleans pools or something like that? Every time you get a zing and then he comes back at you hard, remember that's not the signal to you. being a professional and then and when when they got to the it was really good.

And she said, you know, she did her bit. Because what is your problem? I think yeah, I mean apparently it I you don't think it's weird No, it's okay, what what happened with her Rachel bit? It's like and like I said to somebody last night, you know what? of malign thinking as the so-called undecided voters here. Now add any number of adjectives to that that you want. interest and attention into an issue that nobody else could do in the same way as efficiently right now. And ask yourself how you felt then versus how you feel now and whether you want to take this time, there was some genuinely exciting shit is going on. sincere feelings about not seeing my country gutted in real time. I I am so I it's so ex it's so time consuming to be misunderstood.

I want more than almost anything else, it's it very it's vital that Donald Trump not win this election. Like, but there's somebody out there who has one of the largest influences, the most the largest ability to channel interest attention. Do you want me to I will start over. Stop being scared to say that. Because it wasn't until last night, like, because I'm always hanging, I'm hanging by my fingernails, hoping there isn't somebody who's this false equivalence that that has been created by all these people who talk about what Because no people very rarely then because everything is everything like if you don't talk about this one thing then you basically you're Hitler and like it's And it just goes and you're waiting for it to blow up.

at Kamala Harris through the TV, like she's some kind of seven-year-old girl playing soccer. what their job is going to be. fact-checking team who could be quietly feeding them the answers so that they would not have to be screaming and just go, well, actually bada da and da da da da and da da da da let's move on. You can't you it's not actually ha ha a child being use terms like what month? The thing is, dude, if you're either in the tent or you're not the tent. Right. Hey, like what are you doing up? uh right and and all that stuff. I I I thought I would do that before I go to bed. violin part I've ever heard in my life. In weight, not not not, you know, in weight rather than uh size, but like I would say it's about a quarter of what I would consider a classic Snickers bar.

It's uh well you've you've left you've left the fourth wall down, so I'm talking to other people t too. I know. entire night and watching the case. And um instead of seven or whatever it is now. You know, we there was one isn't there a line in there about how like it produced a beverage that was almost but not entirely quite unlike tea, something like that. Or like, you know the the way that he would phrase things, which I now in retrospect I think of as a very similar to the way like Kurt Vonnegut writes things. But it's it's it's a time of year when the world falls in love. Yeah, it is a l uh I don't know how many people did, but the like they got uh hotties for Harris uh uh a like watch pac like a watch party snack pack.

But one is, you know, that there's sort of a saw. to convince strangers to buy their product. And so like I know you're you all are really smart and you went to college and had a good breakfast. But, you know, they gave away, I mean, smoking was smoking cigarettes anyway was practically invented in World War One. Remember can you wouldn't remember, but Camel's Camel's phrase for a long time or was no, it wasn't Camel. Which is such an interesting way to pitch that product, which is like hi, we're whomever, Philip Morris or whatever. And and like we want people who smoke that brand of cigarettes to smoke our brand of cigarettes. uh church attendance by contacting more people that we've had a hard time convincing, like people who don't answer the phone, people who don't answer when we knock on the door, people who don't, in my case, come to a vacation VBS, Vacation Bible School.

How do I make Frederick happy today? Well, why do you think we have all these fucking undecided voters? How do we entice you to do that? You'd see kids going off when I lived in Sarasota. Oh, like a rewards pro Oh, so we weren't even like fans. I like legitimately don't know what that means. that in my opinion are using bad faith and a desire to rebrand as a way to turn their own political intrans intransigence into something that that that could be vaguely entertaining to strangers. Um, as a phrase you would hear a lot in the Trump years when he was in office, where you'd say that like somebody like Lindsey Graham coming in and saying this thing publicsly, whether that's for or against Trump or whatever, or maybe Mitch McConnell, before they were had such an acrimonious relationship.

stuff like that, but I don't know I'm disappointed Barack Obama again. Where now I do not care about the influencers and their popcorn. Yeah, the I like uh once again uh w once again Jesse Genders videos who is uh an essay similar to Abigail Thorne That's something I can just get past because I really enjoy trash theory. Yeah, but you give him twenty dollars a month because YouTube uh woo cannot sustain a person's career under. for people who I think should know better than to have an ad for that particular VPN. technology connection he wouldn't have made or you know, I mean BDG is on break right now. Or or when I've been or when I've been risen up when I've been forced to participate in one of his Hunger Games style things to like win a free shirt.

how to think about e anything because I don't know how influential certain people are, like like TikTok people and stuff, because I d I don't I don't know Like those are the people like that the Harris campaign in the same way that the Trump campaign sends out uh in like goodie bags and then invites the president to be on They they truly like in the right. coming into last night. They'll work at YouTube. And that ever uh which that surprised me and didn't make me uh That wouldn't have fallen that wouldn't have arrived on your radar screen without memes that it's a close race. Don't worry. Because yeah, because I don't because the fucking waiting rooms in have Mr. I I mean I I I don't know. that had TVs that that showed online videos in them.

If I want to buy it. Wayfair. They have an about page, which I know. Replacement windows. That's one thing that's common. Oh yeah, absolutely I knew it at one point. It can be really nice to flip it on and with the with the s the sonosystem I've got now, it's easier now to have good sound with a Blu-ray, whereas it used to be like a whole thing to try and like get the speakers to work 'cause they're set up for the Apple T V and blah blah blah blah blah. Even today though, where it's like I've on more than one occasion, I'm like, okay, am I gonna watch this gorgeous? Oh. And uh d you know, don't have terrestrial uh TV, but I think if I were to turn it on turn it on, there would be Pluto Pluto.

Yes. I like that you made the connection. I think that they had to work so hard to even get an ended. Like you know what I mean? Chim Crazy is uh produced and uh written and directed. who uh have uh chimpanzees as either pets or have them working uh in uh T V and the U. they're kind of the QAnon of animals. T the unwell people. It's terrifying. Th that that's her and sh she bought that chimp a year after her friend was mauled nearly to death. Tanya's been attacked. You're not allowed to uh cut your own banks until you've already cut your own banks a lot of times. This would be must be what jail is that we really like. Ca Catholicism from A lot of what? I loved her. I did. I I am fully present and I wasn't just watching a ton of coverage about the debate last night because it's September 11th Hey Alex I don't make that wait stop stop stop I don't make that noise do I Hey Alex!

D you don't think your pillow affects your sleep? Black people eating your pets. I don't think people would be as into it as you think. Uh l last night I got home and what I'm giving No This is a new Patreon bonus Find some hogs. And his grandchildren will not talk to him on Facebook. Thank you. No, I I I take it back. I fucking yeah, yeah. Jesus fuck. I left the image of a guy in a tree and there's a phone line sneaking down to his neighbor who delivers his email. Oh. Ever since then I've felt a sense of of raging entitlement about nothing in particular. side because I don't think that's how stores work. I don't think the whole thing I'd like to do. It was after it was still daylight, uh, as mem if I remember right, my my kid and my wife have gone gotten back from the the strip mall where they have the Hawaiian food, compulsory Hawaiian food.

So maybe it's not in the bag. Well, I mean, yeah, exactly. Yes. Oh. Uh, it's not very fashionable to say things like this anymore, but I'm I've been kind of worried about the state, current state and and future of the country for a while now. So then of course I watched the coverage of it to make sure that I I liked what I and by t by nine o'clock last night I was like Well, you know what it was? popped up with the indoorse as we say and I was watching it Alex I was watching Rachel Maddow interviewing Tim Waltz on TV last night But she did that last night. complicating this. And like I feel very undeterred by all of the people who want to problematize every single thing that happens. But I I just don't think the world benefits over for over much for me constantly reminding other people that I consider not as smart as me about how they're doing it wrong municipally.

And then Tim Waltz touched his heart with his hand. And in the same way that we need to start fucking using the word abortion with more vigor and clarity, it's yeah, it's about reproductive rights, but it's really super about abortion. But I don't again because I've been I've been undecided pilled. Um that was why I've got reflex in oreganum where people were people were not immediately doing that, but within like twenty minutes Everybody kind of looked around and went like it's like that scene in Band of Brothers when the when a shell lands in in these two characters you love, a shell lands in their foxhole. And uh I was like, but you know what? And that's exactly what she did. I've always loved that quote of John.

Uh yeah, okay. Two, I am really heartened, I suppose, by the passion that you are ex- What? And that's why in ten years I will have a podcast about Gaza that will really, really surprise you. But it's that time where like I generally I go to bed a lot earlier than I used to. Is uh and this is that system of measurement that George Washington brought to us so many years ago. See now if you if you went in and bought a large bag of the nicest candy they had, then you know, and you know what I'm talking about, right? Snickers, her or no, Hershey I had to buy separately because I do like just a little Suissant of uh of Hershey bars when I'm eating a dozen tiny candy bars at night. in the lead up to the debate last night.

debate day and etc. I I just keep thinking like how much does this matter? Right. Do you understand what I'm saying? But uh but but but I don't know. Um and another one that's very over like abuse on Kimwal News is permission structure. they're not all AI that that takes up a ton of r resources and and time and it's like you you gotta be a little bit more than a lot of people. has been uh used wisely because those texts still go to the quote undecided voters and they you g you are asking money of a ch a tree man because they're on a a list Yes, Merlin is very cynical about because I just want them to keep making videos, right? all the way up to like I don't care, I'm just gonna make an O face for everything kind of people.

not see what I consider to be I I don't need to see another Nord VPN ad, not least because it makes me it makes me very frustrated each time that I see a VPN ad. Yeah, he makes me deeply uncomfortable. Sorry, I could be very wrong about this. There they're those are the It's the Lex Fridman tree people who are undecided. Yeah, it's fucking insane. And uh Oh, right. Just something where everybody could just like like almost you know what? Are they paying you? That happened on uh TV is like a live j just podcasts. I can't believe they advertise the ability to watch streaming from other countries. That I I wish I knew more about cover for what? D did the l little young person enjoy it because I think even then we struggled with physical media.

Mm-hmm, not large, but I have a collection of Blu-rays that I continue to buy. Uh I can't tell if this is B. It was like, uh, men in trench coats with mustache movies channel. paranoid about is even connecting my TV to the internet. The bra of uh television hardware, because it's very supportive and n and necessary. Yeah, usually there are nuanced endings to things. with that. uh by the uh guy and I mean the whole team that made Tiger King. But uh the the this director found uh a community and specifically w one woman I guess. I I knew this from I knew this from Albert Goldman's uh salacious book about Elvis. you know, or cu cup cuppuchins or like spider monkeys and all these little monkeys, but a chimp standing on its hind legs with its arms in the air Is this what happens in this is where that comes from.

a person who has to wear a hat with a veil around it. Because of this. Like, you know, like somebody you'd see at a picnic or something. Like you're gonna be here's the thing. So you can always get more wigs. Fuck. Big week. 2024 and last night was September 10th, 2024, but I'm here now. Um people send it to me and then I break down. Merlin, le I think. No they want to be on the TV. He's he's a j jigat Sobroff is a gift. as we've discussed numerous times in over the years. It's really not looking good. And then it became, and I was very nervous. Something different that makes more sense. Behave about stuff to try and make people like us who could never like us, you know? To get more bogged down in that argument.

Like, oh you miss you misread. But like and she was reading it and he said, And that's why I will be voting for Kamala Harris and Tim Walls. It's really frustrating to me. Um, and but still that as long as that thing is still hissing, you're kind of looking at each other going like wow, I don't even know if I should like light a cigarette. But but within definitely within an hour of that, I I feel like and I had re-seen some of the clips and I actually said to Matt, Matt was kinda getting ready to go to bed and I was like And the way they did fact checking was so smart because I think I suspect what was happening was this is this new technology you can use, which is computers, which is like there can be six producers in another room who have all of the likely But just because you get used to one version of me being how I am doesn't mean there's not three more versions of how I am when I'd love I know.

And uh and so I I didn't get as much sleep as I as I normally would. I need the place to put my tools Because it's that time of year where you have cover, cover from society to walk into Walgreens. And um uh what was it talking about? And then like take the wrapper off and I'd put I'd make a pile of the wrappers and over on the left, because I'm right-handed, I'd make a pile of the actual food. G give me your barometric reading and like no don't don't just talk about other people. In uh oh god, it there's uh fine people on both sides, but it there's things like holy fuck Taylor Swift endorsed d uh and obviously this was after the the debate, but there's things like the influencers all through Chicago with the DNC and it's easy to be like, oh God, that's not gonna make a difference a at all.

I uh yeah, I don't know about any who were in Philadelphia, but I know a couple who uh But you're still you're still aware that that's a thing beyond the convention. If you can get people to vote, especially if they are voting for the first time, no, go go out do it. If it was tuned to just satisfying the people who will always come to church no matter what, that's a lot of latitude to go in a lot of different directions. And it can't that's that's how you got into it, vacation Bible school in that case. You know, it's another way, I guess, uh does that make sense? economy, right? This drill stole my Bible. Beast is on a shared television, everyone sees. The yes, a public like the public feeds that they play in um there's airports, there's what do you think this here?

Hmm, I Do you feel like I might be a little corrupted at this point? by having it be in a different country. I know. But you know, also you get, you know, Mother Necessity, what do we need? broadcast that's most of what I've seen in waiting rooms and it really is like consider whether this is oil changes or emergency rooms or whatever Televisions televisions that are ad supported. by the age of like into their twenties, but especially once they're like over thirty. And like if that message didn't get through in the first episode about like what a champ can do or the sweet precious angel in the second episode, God, I love that one. Like that story that went around. It's like and I was like, yeah, that's what I think that's where this comes from.

Uh the circus wheel. The Bandefkin Wigsore. Uh reliquaries. Do I? Okay. Uh because of the hardness or softness of the pillow. But I I sent you a Springfields m meme. Cause you know 'cause like the thing is i if you turned on a show and people made a lot of references to something you didn't know what they were talking about I thought we were doing another news I thought we were doing news jokes. This elect is really gonna come down to get to where we get the most vote out. What if they if they've developed that dialect, uh uh from being on television? Oh, I don't know. You know, other plans to the contrary. You know, and then we keep doing that every day, you know, and giving them weapons and stuff.

Have did you lose the thread from earlier? Madeline I had my headphones on and Madeline flashed the lights like she does to like not scare me 'cause it's three in the morning and suddenly and not embarrassed, but I turn to her with my with my big Apple headphones on and I go Like there's lines like that. And it it's like it's like a it's like a key party for my mouth. to change to our product or on some level getting you to try our product. You've been very forgiving of that in a way that I'm not. Sh because she talks about queer stuff, everything has been demonetized. to be rich and not everyone needs to be Mr. I experienced the opposite of just the auto-put. To say, and that's kind of why I'm at a slight disadvantage here.

But uh the which is why I I it seems like they could show you something like like learning math skills or critical skills or like a little history would be nice to show in there. Do you really believe that? Things were rotten in the land of cotton until Whitney built the cotton gin. uh print of a criterion edition of eight and a half with Roger Ebert commentary, or am I just gonna stream it off my plex? I m yeah, we're just it's it's easier to just watch whatever whatever is on in a waiting room and say instead of saying, excuse me, please turn on MSNBC. do live w appear from the videos and stuff, do appear to be living with them as pretty close to family. that this has been discovered. Yeah, I think she knows that she's dumb though.

I've I've learned from the best. Thy pill thy thy pill No. training themselves to get ready for what I can only assume are kind of like reality TV producers. Yes, I'm I'm back in I'm back to a decision. But also because that was the moment where I went, you know what? I'm so glad that we are done pretending that s political theater is bad or that oh that's just political theater. The population of of the town I grew up in essentially. You know, it's I don't I don't have time for you. Really fucking fast. Preaching to the choir, right? Very close race? Other people give you estimates. Yes, yeah, yes. They are amazing. you know, verb or s sorry, not just subject verb sentences, not just cocoa suit, but like, you know, put the pink triangle in the in the And he's like, yeah.

To see what this woman's face actually looks like was like seriously so upsetting to me. I love them and they're my kids. Oh, of the walking snow cone or whatever? You can rely on me, I always pick up the phone. I don't know. All right. Is it H re Hey hey? Because that people are not you. I was studying structuralism. Wow, you really did have uh c yeah I am kind I am speechless, I think, uh not just because I'm being me. Like I've said many times, I am not the person who is good. Yeah yeah, like that's a funny. Or a black box theater. Hi. So I'd gotten through a whole bunch of my um my stress eating and then uh like I say it got to be pretty late and I grabbed a handful from the the candy bowl.

Style still gets me. That's what has frustrated me and many people for such a long time is, you know, we make fun of the incessant texts and and s And you know what I mean? I'll tell you a story. Oh really sweet old this is a very sweet old man who actually lives in a tree and bakes cookies I mean obviously c considering all of the praxis around this, that's the important thing. They and this is a joke. But over here, like my gosh, to to to be get to the point where you can't see last night for being um a really nice moment for a lot of people who actually do care. I'm just gonna let Hi. But I also came to I love the music. Wow, so many how many how many podcast interviews has he done in the past two weeks?

You you and you say it like like it's somebody it's like the well the devil's uh making a machine for stuffing uh donuts into Homer. It's not at all. Pluto TV. I haven't talked to you all week! I have uh not a conspiracy theory because in order for it to be conspiracy, it would mean that other persons are in the past. I'm the first generation of lawn chair installers in my family that's not gonna have a better life than my father before me. did what I normally never d do, which would watch it live on uh CNN and uh I went and boy how how good were those moderators, huh? The only man in the stream, he's still Well, you still I don't see commercials anymore. Uh I get that this is something that Alex2016 would do and learning and growing as a person She does laugh pretty loud.

Yes. Why am I sending my response to It's because you don't get it's me. dies, she goes back and ends up getting another human Z with the breastfeeding Catholics are famous at the end. I understand that you're one of the largest troop respectors in your county. So, um, I told myself I'm not gonna get all wound up about this. And if some of that blows back on me, that's okay. Uh Apple writing tools. What about Renewal by Anderson? I I know. The breastfeeding uh I'm getting a little confused. Exactly. Henceforth you are you will be known s simply as Jonathan Tree. Is that the purple one with K Kelly Clarkson? We've put it in the middle of the year. Oh, uh because I uh as I've said many times, kind of have reverted back to twins in I don't know.

I didn't see any. Anyways. Let's let's simplify this a little bit. Wasn't that a fun night, Alex? I'm a little mad. I'm an animal enthusiast, so really I'm trying to show a nuanced story of these people. Oh right, let's let's let's can we stick to the bit for one second? We've been visiting with this group of undecided voters. His accent is changing! I've I voted Republican my whole life, but it's been real hard to make decisions about things since I stopped paying attention to how consequences work I slowed down a little bit after five, but I made it through eight. I don't know how he talks and I don't care. And it's because it sits on top of it. Um it it has things that are good about it. Wait, wa why do you think I started started the show?

I need I need to hear a little bit more about their, you know uh their policies. Yeah. People in no just people in their thirties, people in their thirties share memes with one another. And we'll and we're all talking, uh Alex and I are talking about deeply online things. No, there's not a swag bag. Would you like to buy a Snickers bar? Pluto. Do you want me to cover Bacon Ray covering that song? Exactly. There are a lot of non-addressable people in the United States. Oh they didn't fact check drummers. And i in the same way that I have uh issues with Taylor Swift, it's she's getting a sort of thing. What about what what about the Great American Melting Pot? I bet it's Pluto T. Yeah. And that's because of your your human Z.

I've never seen what's paragold uh renewal by Anderson who's ever heard of that They're eating the dogs. Maybe there's three guitar solos. And age and uh w whether or not you used to professionally install lawn furniture. That's a good point. Whatever. The part that really surprised me though was that I you know as Jeff says, you know, you gotta really dig in. They had like they had their parents had smoked enough cigarettes that they got clothes that the kids would then wear A lot of people know this. Well who's a famous Whig? She loved him. Um hello. I wanna try the pillows and the slippers. And the problem is they should, if you say you're an undecided voter, you know what? I think you broke the fourth wall a really long time ago and we have not been able to afford to get it fixed.

It's really difficult to decide. No. This brings us back to the origin, the origin of the bit, much earlier in the show, where I was talking about how I'm weird because I'm old and I still watch TV like a person. She did one of her like Rachel bits. That makes a difference. It did not need to be written on a piece of paper a day before. When you say fun size, you really mean small. Well that was mostly a bit. So like like there's just there's very, very like peop you know, people who are just very, very funny or very, very subtle. I'm so fucking mad at Chimp Crazy. I don't know who that is. I haven't followed this closely. Where they're gonna see who can be the last undecided voter. I don't know.

He didn't say it last night, but it's also like long long time ago, John Dickerson said something along the lines of with all this great food on the table, why would you eat eat the bait? Like you mean like one you'd buy at school for the quat chorus or something like that? Because you're very good at paying. I I I don't know. Do you know about Pluto? Yeah. It's a form of civic malingering to be uncommitted or or whatever fucking independent. It's not really a phone. The only the only um clarification maybe would be, well, you know, if it didn't change your life, I can pretty much guess what your race and gender are. Anyways, uh but no just uh the contrast that's of no consequence. No. It does it does in my experience it used to tend to at least be local TV.

Seriously. I'm a little mad at the show. Merlin, why are you always interrupting everybody? But ask about Danny Diazia. And then it was very anxiety producing and then our lives changed a little bit. I don't even fucking care why. Well that's not Peganini. Or a guy who is nailed to a tree for saying people who sh should be nice to each other. They got everybody addicted to cigarettes when they were overseas. I I know I'm I'm beating this to death, but some of you need a point beaten to death to understand it. No, no, no. What they will give you is a down to the penny figure about what it will cost to replace your windows with renewal by Anderson windows that is good for one full year. I said, do you remember a character in Nope who's someone who's been disfigured and has to wear a hat with a veil on it?

What? Okay, I see. It is just my theory. Can I get more information about the crawlers? If I can go somewhere else. I was studying structuralism. Before the spin room stuff even happened, I think I was not the only person in America who was going, well, okay, I think that went okay. This is a Jimmy Kimmel level joke. That I I yeah, I won't I want some good good theater. Why I w thought I was speechless isn't your didn't I but well, one, I love this. Um, but if you leave the group chat, it's like using punctuation in a text. I don't really pay a attention to it that much because I am in a blue. Everyone has their reasons. And it turns out I got off to duty during jury duty that day. By the time this is this is this is where the story kicks in.

And she did it in exactly, it was again, it was like Billy Jack. I'll alert the media. These are these are the people who have more than an unconventional approach, you know. Okay, everybody looks at the old man. Like a lot had changed in forty-five minutes. And um so then I watched John Dickerson on Colbert and he was great. And she's like, I can't sleep. Beast came out and was super excited about uh Harris and Walls, be like, yeah, f fuck yeah. You're trying to make the joke about where you buy a cabinet but it's actually a boy. Have you learned more about Renewal by Anderson? Travis is Let's just say something I said to Syracuse th yesterday, actually, texted him yesterday, was that Lab's like, did you ever see Nope?

Here's how you start cutting your bangs. I've learned from some some women who've thought a lot about being a woman. Do you want to give any c you know, actually, uh Alex, uh given the way this has all gone so far, and it's it's always nice to visit with you, um I think a lot of context would be great because you you don't you don't Oh, HBO. Uh yeah, but the thing is, let's all just keep moving here. I like that. But if he came out and said, Yeah, voting for Harris, I would be extremely happy. I know. Very nasty. So so I don't I I did not Why are people always being sensible? He he is I get it, but like but like she's so vulnerable and so open and so willing to forgive everybody and like I became uncomfortable.

Like these chimps are fucking incredible. She always refers to them as like her kids are her children. Why is it so funny to me that she said Rolling Stones magazine? That's oh we're getting into some Mike Lindell. That's what it's what you sound like. Oh Maybe you should just move back to the Shire, you piece of shit. He's like, yeah, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, goodness gracious. Hi, how are you? Good morning, Merleman. And I ordered it from that guy and I gave him money. Um uh Thy pillow be done Thy pillow be done on earth as it is in heaven. On the other hand, he did try to overthrow the country. It's hard to decide. I did that. I don't want you to I don't want you to look at the internet, Alex.

Uh uh that I'm not extremely aware of anything. The the amount of uh just exploitation of of not just this woman. Whatever. Circus. Oh yeah, oh god. And uh and he said he protested. I have much more Alex is now taking it back out. I spent the day doing power puttering and tidying up the house and being a I mean honestly It happened on live TV. It's like dynamite, right? Like cause you don't watch as much TV about this as I do. Like, oh gosh, I could really lose, you know, Frederick has recently changed his podcast listening habits, and now he's becoming a little bit more something pilled about something. I am not forgiv I am forgiving of people who decided that's yeah, and it ruined YouTube and it's It was ruined My understanding is that b I don't know what podcast he's been on.

I said I don't know. Is it Pluto is it Pluto? There there was the TVs that were free if you saw the ads on the bottom. That like these animals can do that. Yep. You don't know what I'm talking about. Oh my god, you know what they should do? Because maybe there's still one half box of votes, a vote to to to be found. So kindly keep it in whatever's left of your pants, not to lecture me about how much I understand about the subtlety of this situation. Uh the comma at common did way better than I realized at the time. I was just sitting there and I was like I was like you you startled me because right I'm listening to a really good version of of all these four seasons and seeing how fast I can eat Snickers bars.

Oh sorry. Nuts, nuts, nuts. Well, there used to be a thing called church. I spend a lot of time. His name's Greg Dulley. No, it was about child abuse. We're trying to find out what what the future of the country's gonna be. My my father lived through that uh the vinyl chaise lounge phase that nearly killed our entire industry and That was one part that I really nerded out and nerded. I mean it's true that I ate candy fast last night, but what um but it just began as like I need one less because I do I do um I call it the weave. This is the time of year, Alex, where a grown man can walk into Walgreens and buy a three-pound bag of candy because it's relevant. Because they know they're so fucking sweaty that if they get out there and say they're undecided, people will pay attention to them.

Well, sure, you want to like have Marlboro bucks for your big fans. No, we're not doing a bit. I think my process on this has been very interesting because it's very nearly an inversion of November 2016. He's not a Keebler elf. Yeah, but what about Obama's drones? That's funny to someone who hasn't had dates. But like um I I'll never forget the i this is before I would go on to read Kurt Vonnegut. I loved the people. You saying there's a you've always said to me there's a good reason they're doing that. It's like it's like when you go to a swap meet and you buy a nut and a bolt for a dollar and they give you a free beer. Yeah, yeah, just th and the way that uh hip fourth wall down, uh this is But like you can actually say things and they understand that.

Catholic girls. I thought I thought Matta was gonna be like, well, this won't matter when I because when I saw that she read it and Tim Waltz sat there. Okay. Tell me about your experience last night. You know, you get replacement windows and like, oh, the manufacturer's gonna blame the installer. I use that in a home run, um, you know, for doing over-the-air stuff. And she just she says it over and over, but I do think she believes it. Was um what about uh James K. Is that related at all to the systematic way they they they they tried to cover it up? Yeah. The things you're extremely aware of, the things you're not extremely aware of. Supports the um, you know, it's it's like the bra of of television hardware.

I'm still I have very good good strong feelings. Oh, I don't even I don't care. We slept together a couple of times. I found I found your collie. Use that as a springboard. It really helps our black box theater. This is uh but I think she believes it. Oh fuck yeah. Probably by Larry Larry Carlton. I I want I don't want to put it all right, all right. It was basically like the Dutch tulip famine of its time. If a thousand more young people vote because of that Instagram post, it will be worth so much more than almost any other Instagram post that has ever happened. Whatever pleases you to yes and me or to no but me by going yes, but also what about what about uh college educated lawn stare lawn chair installers or whatever?

I've become a real fan of Summer. From the outside, it looks like the advertising industry is where you hire somebody. But like if you really think about what advertising at a certain level is, it's it can be more about getting you B no, but uh like many things in life, it is pushed upon me and it's difficult to escape, especially in waiting rooms. Fucking schoolhouse rock. You know, you you you you can't watch Italian Doctor Who. And then like I can't bel I never knew this was the same person. Asses. You know that song What Jail is like? He needs to hear a little bit more uh about about the Biden administration. I I have an Alex theory. No, it's not. Hi, I am America's undecided voter. I that wasn't the insane would would were very very surprising for sure.

Yeah. The um did they ever did they ever address the Whigs? That's a band from Cincinnati. You you did that. What why would you watch this and see this happening and think it's bad? I haven't read it since I read it to my kid a few years ago. Let me explain this. W what it what's like are you like uh I mean again I'm not an expert and I don't mean to sound like I'm talking down, but permission instruction it becomes a way to say like Uh yeah, yeah. Are they paying like paying me in Windows? Don't know now. I uh read the Rolling Stone article that's a little bit of a You're talking about her article in Rolling Stones magazine? I'm the undecided voter. But she was like, uh you have an wall something.

W say that sentence again, uh please. So Dennis was my Dennis and Michael were my two adult best friends, probably. I've said this so many times and you I think it frustrates you and that's okay because we're different. Yeah, no, don't don't don't think about it. The b breastfeeding chimp woman, is that the woman with the husband in Sarasota? It like she has little glimpses. So Martin Van Buren said. Someone apparently someone on TV was talking about the fact that black people eat ate pets. Touche, Mr. It is not really a phone. But anyways, and so and I was thinking, I wonder how fast I can eat these Snickers for before I go to bed. Because they're they're well they're standing. Sorry. And so I'll have by the time I've had second, I'll have second dinner and second dessert.

Oh, uh uh yes, just a kid. Yeah. Lex Frid yeah, Lex Fridman's show. But um there's a lot of things I didn't know. Yeah yeah. She's like, she's so very Tanya is she is like so many people I have known. This is another uh Alex, have you heard about the undecided voters? But then it this the part where it became a bummer was like, oh yeah, the trend line for this night is really not going well. I'm done being this guy who sits out there and says, Well, you know, from now on all the homemade meals I get had better be m have been prepared to my own requirements. I was studying Horkheimer and Adorno before your dad even came on your mom. It's too boring. He's like, it's pretty funny. And to to another so word of what phrase we abuse or I abuse here, Overton window.

Oh I I pfft. You get all of these. You probably have 800 Pluto channels now and don't even know it. No. Hello. They they want to sit in the big rooms. I was like, honestly, like there's several times, like the whole like you're a disgrace, all of these things, and Like an M like an M eighty is a quarter of a stick of dynamite. My friend Michael and I would see this all the time when we were housemates. No, no, no, it's not a joke. That part was, I'm glad they got that because I think that helped land it a little bit. Infatuated by a lunatic and corner by the me. Oh, okay. Um how do you find things on Twitter? That's a really good point. That's not what we're here for. Here's what it comes down to.

Tuesday's always kind of a weird night for me. I'll try to remember to find this. You have a huge network of black friends who send you memes. No, it's other kinds of best of best of YouTube they call it. And she's the one who bought the chimp with it's not Tanya, it was the dark haired woman that bought a chimp, co-owned a chimp with the w the that woman who keeps a chimp chimp on a leash. Uh yes, I do. We played in little leagues together as kids. I just I need to know. They're eating the pets in Springfield. I uh I I tried with September 10th, 2024. It's not a complaint, but uh it was around 6 30 or 7 Pacific on that night when uh it was still like, oh man, this is okay. I I loved the Lord.

It's uh I I don't know. Uh but memes specifically uh specifically about how everything is a close uh race. Be ready to suck at it for two years. Any chance we can get it out this week. Is that that's the handsome one, yes. If you don't, let me I'm sorry, let me put it differently. But like bigger that's bigger than the little square, that little dumb, you know, cheap bag. There's other great phrases from just being a normal American who went to church. Mm-hmm. I think of that I miss I miss the home and garden channel. Alex, Alex, I've been in a lot of waiting rooms in my life. What do they call it? You did. That's what it sounds like when you live in a tree. Oh yeah, uh yes. They should take them all to a they should nine this is not JD dance jokes because not everything is everything.

No, I I want to install a lawn chair. So like it but it was a it was a really big campaign for years, but here's the bit. I didn't even know. Uh have you have you learned why they won't install vinyl windows? You know all these you see Mr you go to a hospital that has Mr. And I want to be clear here. Remember hearing about the time, this is not bath salts, this is chimps. Sort of like sort of like the guy in Shogun. What was he molested in? I'm doing alright. Mm-hmm. Oh just keep talking to me. If you can't get behind that, fuck off. But like all anybody's done for weeks is tell Trump she's gonna needle you to try and get a reaction from you. They uh no they didn't fa how how did I not know about David Muir until last night?

Oh, so why are you gonna vote for com law? Like how is it like with the Chicago for the for the convention, right? So your brain's already swimming with all the ways you see this with consumer goods. I feel like that stuff gets a little bit lost on people, even as there's this resounding din of people constantly reminding us, you know, like who's not as into things as you are, one is like it's I I I uh I I don't think though that the amount of resources that have gone into that in the past Great American Melting Pot? Or in this case, that this that there's a chimp and he'll like microwave his own food. Yeah, exactly. Everyone has their reasons. Madam, uh in the last three times we visited with you, you have been wearing a meringue on your head and your eyes seem to be getting smaller.

I was studying the Frankfurt School, Horkheimer Adorno, I was looking at Al Tousser, I was reading I was reading Heidegger, I was reading Hegel. I'm usually asleep by eleven or twelve, something like that. And then I said to myself, then I says to myself, I says, I says, I wonder how fast I could eat these. And when you go to church, the idea is like if the message from the from the minister And it was great. No, I'm not trying to be simple about it, but like the reason they keep asking us for money is because they want the money. I just use the Apple TV to interface with ev everything. Well, one woman literally breastfed her chimpanzee, which like At least she was wearing a beard. In our challenges, we have use a different pillow Uh, you know, it w haha, all the things we joke about, right?

People don't have the same interests and needs and attention. Talk about you. Who does not make an O face by the way? Yeah, yeah. We're not doing a bit. We don't have the rights to that. Isn't that kind of part of it where it's like in order to succeed to win in this fight, they need to address more people than me That's what I worry about. Yeah, they're famous at Famous Little Eagles. How are you? Yeah, that's I mean he got cra he got craft services and a stinky mic in his face a couple times. And I was and why am I telling you all of this? Oh. Every boy and girl out there seems to say And so the idea of like Mitch McConnell saying XYZ publicly creates a permission structure for other people who were reluctant to say anything about this to say something.

It's very frustrating to me. Just show schoolhouse rock. This is my point exactly. I I I bought them on uh digital video discs from my young person when my person was little. I'm mad. President. And I I think it's kind of silly the way that we ' We are constantly trying to like go, yeah, well let's get back to me and my needs. It's very uh pr profitable and I might be a Maoist at this point. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Listening to the Four Seasons on really good headphones. Uh fun size Snickers and how you can visit a Walgreens and get a bunch of candy without being judged because there's no holiday. I continued to you know see the things online that I just remind myself how uh uh Instead of the garden channel and like CNN.

What about what about uh the necessity of being the mother of invention? What's wrong? Mm-hmm. Because every single person I do a podcast with sounds like they're losing their mind if I don't interrupt them. And we want to get the vote because there's a lot of undecided voters. My my very small baby child person put my history-changing vote for Hillary Clinton into the ballot box at 7 30 a. Don't be a fucking asshole, Merlin. If you live in a tree over there and you can't make up in your mind, well we'll sign somebody, a caregiver that can help you make this difficult decision at this difficult juncture in your life. Three. Oh, I don't know what I'm saying. But like, you know, the thumbnail's not the video.

Yeah. I just want to really super clarify. It's not a bit. You like Larry Carlton? Don't know who that is. I have a lonely theory that there are people out there who just like to say they are undecided. Yes, that's correct. Max i Formerly Max Max. Is it in a tree? Um but in my case, um I'm watching this because I got a stake in this, you know, even though um I I don't I haven't given birth to a cat. And maybe like the rest of the fucking dinglings out there, you're gonna go, oh yeah, influencer's gonna influence beep burp. And if you guys don't think this is good branding, you're probably an undecided voter. And it's like gosh, I hope that makes I really hope that makes a difference, you know, for what needs to happen.

That there could be somebody, there's a r you know, not a rapid response team, but a fact-checking team that does not need to be called out as qua And I'll and I'll keep oscillating like that until I finally go to bed. FIFA? And it's the same woman. Um, are you still really undecided? You know. It's a donut. Well maybe if you're undecided, you don't know how a store works. By the time they got back with our bowls that night, it was already pretty much it was daylight here. And he looked he looked gen he looked genuinely this is a guy, I mean, whatever. Oh I couldn't get this I was uh very stimulated last night. And we want people to know that people who smoke our brand of cigarettes would rather fight than switch.

But yeah but like that that's like okay th th I don't I don't know, because I I don't watch the stuff on YouTube. Shh, surprise, surprise! I'm not here to be a little bit more. Um and but then last night I have to say, whilst I was watching the debate and And one of the guys, they're both like, they're like, this is it? And then people people came back, especially from World War I, and like it was becoming more okay for women to smoke and you know, that kind of stuff. They had an advertising campaign for this brand of cigarettes that's that I'd rather fight than switch. But nothing. Polk? I introduced myself to them one night at a club in Tallahassee. That's a good point. But the thing that I the real takeaway for me that even blew me away after hundreds and hundreds of hours of Trump exposure was it took me an hour to realize how badly he had done.

I uh came home from the Oh can I ask can I ask a uh a going in question? Like how have you been feeling about all all of this? Exactly. And I can Yeah, and I just I I don't know because there are the like I I see memes of I haven't I haven't gotten a uh wayfarer. I and and if I heard it, I would probably think that it was the Declaration of Independence and and be wrong. Yes. They're taking these children away from me. And they they beat our ass in Little League. Holy shit, what a wow woof. Donald Trump needs to lose and he needs to lose by a lot. Two. And, you know, I don't know. Answer the question. I'm mad because there weren't more episodes. It was very frustrating. Because you will always cut it too short or you will always cut it weird and then think I can fix this.

How are you? Yeah. Last night, uh, as we record this, was the um Whoa! I'm gonna kick, I'm gonna take this foot and I'm gonna kick you on that side of your face. You're not allowed to kill a baby. Oh boy. It's arguably the biggest problem. Yeah, just just uh well. I don't understand your point. That's true. It was like it was so ham fisted and like Right. They're so much. And then, because of Nope, I knew about Ch There's always wigs in the banana stand. Yes. That's a terrible thing in life. It's like no, it's really difficult for me to do that. There's like, there's he's like, there's two of them. I have not a single bad word to say about VBS. I don't love that phrase, but I get what they're going for.

The Mr. Like, of course, why not? Like, it's a wild animal. You're so used to seeing like little chimps in shows or like People, I think was the quote. I I do want to hear about your week because it was What? Uh Madam Lady Queen Queen. This is your Haitian dogs. Yeah. Oh on the other places we've gotten swag bags for being undecided. When you see these things carried around by people on stretch, it's a two hundred pound animal. I'm singing a song. Was he a Whig? You do it. Hard hard disagree. Oh my god. If you've watched a lot of media in the last twelve hours, it would also be fun. Do you remember? Honestly, it's not to be melodramatic. I get the nicest one. I did not know you were in waiting rooms that much.

Yeah. You know that one? Garbage in garbage out. Yeah, this is four episodes of TV where you watch people who do not live in the same reality as a lot of folks. They are very similar to us. Because I'm thinking of, I'm thinking of um of that that movie with uh with with the actress I like You know, like one of those uh uh Hawaii five thousand or whatever stores to get in into like cause like oh because when you have a child in elementary school you're always raising money. Or as you say, family size. You ha you do more uh uh what they call online and you hear about things. I mean allowed to Yeah. I'm talking about making a no face and like telling people to like and subscribe and all that stuff where you've you dressed me down a little bit about criticizing And did you get to the part where after Travis, you know, is Why?

That's a really bot. I thought they were gonna turn mics off when people were naughty, but uh but I guess they just left them on a lot of the time. You obviously are so fucking sweaty. Shoot shooting. You know, I mean honestly, like you know, gosh, dude Now you can problematize that a thousand ways. Were you born were you were you born in a black box theater? I've I have no idea at at all. These Kakamimi doctors you see that that show Mr. Yeah. Good thank thank you, sir. No, but he is a man who lives in a tree. Sure it'd be easier to identify them. Uh but the but then what happened last night was while whilst I was watching the the debate Let's let's let's get this that let's get this thing squared away, you know?

It's just that last night I I kind of like we did a funny thing last night, which is I was still up and I think he's going through some kind of a transition right now. Beast. Beast that they pipe into the urgent cares all over the United States. And so so when they come in, they don't give you, here's the thing, they'll come to your house, no problem. The old man called the old man of the stream. Oh, oh no. Alex has now gone back into the column of undecided. That the nuclear button, all that kind of stuff. And see also undecided voters I've just been handed something. And most people don't even bother trying to clarify it. Yeah. Good. I mean, like I was a very devoutly Christian person of my own accord.

Oh, he was on um uh I worry that you're neglecting other You know, Netflix hides a lot of content from you. It's completely bananas to me that that is a hallmark feature of the VPN. In that last episode, I feel her. That's it's very difficult to decide. Fucking just order a donut. Oh boy. I'm flipping through the grid in Hulu, flipping through the grid in FUBO, flipping over to see if any of the late night stuff is up yet on YouTube. Like I can't make you love our product if you've never tried our product. Well no, the kids th I mean everybody likes Marlboro. She's one of the YouTubers who who hasn't gone into the the big O face type things. And like if my if my if my patron thing helps Alec to make a I and I thought I hated that until I was like, I I don't know.

You do it. I was like, you wanna like watch some of the stuff? Fun snize, fun, fun sniffs. Like a one of those standard like five inches long, half an inch wide, that kind of size? Uh no, the boy's inside. That but here's the big one. It was her face that got ripped off. How are you doing? No, Merlin. I need more information. Also people don't interview me enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was um my oh shoot, it was one of the one of the brands you don't hear about much anymore. Oh, okay. Um, I thought it was gonna be a joke about like stealing home or something. No, I don't know who that is. I always like fuck this. Well, you fucking idiot, I'm voting for com law because Trump needs to lose. I think I said fun size.

Okay, I was I no, I I I I because you're doing that thing again where you act like you don't live in the world. Do you know that one? One thing I'm uh irration one of the things I'm irrationally uh And I think, you know, we've already kind of talked about the show last week, but like, what did you think of the last episode? Uh have an unconventional approach. This is Do By Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Alex Cox and Merlin Mayo. Because it's a strange curiosity. We're the sauce on your steak, we're the cheese in your cake. H Max, formerly known as HBO Max, formerly known as HBO Go. Always use it as a springboard to the point that you want to make. It's always been me. I'm sorry, I'm being I'm being I'm being so so puckish and peculiar about this.

I've never seen YouTube videos. It sits it. It's like the first time like I learned about Coco. He was on a KFC. And I've learned about things like cutting your own bangs. Yeah, that's my secret. Sounds like a nice name, but I I d w so does But there's a reason I've never married. It's a dynamic environment. Shut your fucking mouth and look at what's actually happening here. No, get back to the thing. And I I I I'll um tip put I'm putting up that fourth wall and not talking to the audience. Are dead because of uh they're dead now. Not two weeks ago. And I do give them $20 a month. Like there are people who give Mr. It's okay. And h his whole thing, he likes to say I It's very quirky, all that kind of stuff.

I I ask for things to be handed to me to to be fair. I figured maybe it was my niece. Uh that's I that's that that's what I'm saying. So they went out to get us, and I hate it. Right. But then, as everybody was noting, within an hour, as j as John Dickerson likes to say, why would you with all this great food on the table, why would you take why would you take the bait? I live in a tree. Because uh it it's not for me, but th that's that's fine. You'd see in this like little duplex area, all these kids going off to school wearing like XXL Marlboro shirts. They have to hustle in that particular undignified way because that's the only way you make money with you. The the thing I suppose that YouTube wants you to see when um Apart from YouTube?

Well whatever you want it to be, but that was the question. Now I do. It's not ad-supported TV content, it's ad-supported TV hardware. Like that's you know, sort of like you know, you can't get a tattoo until you've worn it as a shirt for a year. I'm should we share the needle once or twice? Yes. I've told you the story, right? At that uh uh in twenty sixteen I thought it is kind of in the bag for Hillary. I think a fun size is double the size, about double the size of a one-byte one. Like at least at least five, but I think more than that. So strange. What I'm trying to get at here is you need to look at less internet. I didn't get streaming video. I'd heard about I heard about the chimp face The guy with uh plague in Shogun.

All about child abuse because of the way they abuse children. How many did you get through the in Or most people's most important like thing in their life was trying to own a digital watch. Their kids are wearing cigarette clothes. You think people who listen to Lex Friedman are deciding between which of those two people they're gonna vote for? I th my my point uh you were asking me how I felt I do think she has projected an entire world onto these poor animals. I only stream things on my Quibi. Of course, well there's lots of handsome ones, but he's the one who goes gets uh last night he was the one uh talking to the lawn chair installers in um I just made up that career. I don't know what that means, but because AI is taking my job, that is what I want.

It's Tim Waltz, Alex. If if Kama Harris really just wakes up every day and z saying, like, you know But it's not sustainable. What's the name for that? Well, we'll get to the director. You're like a lady Mike Lindell. Oh god, I hate that I hate oh no. Uh oh oh uh maybe they can't know that how would I know that? Hi. I'll be I'll I'll figure it out on my own. You can't watch Italian Doctor Who unless you're in Wales. It wasn't a good joke. Yeah, yeah, they don't get to like just go create new stuff from a while ago. Um all my family comes from circus people. You you you you be me and I'll be you. Right. Like, check it out, they're really funny. But like uh It's got all the good, it's got Reese's pieces.

I'm not that's but that's why are you seeing these memes? I'm not extremely aware of anything. Oh no. And that it's that that point we started grasping, and I am stealing Dave Weigel's joke, but that is that is where we are we're all existentially clawing. Um, if you don't get why Taylor Swift's endorsement is a big deal, fuck off. Taylor Swift and her cat making a joke about JD Vance, ask yourself if you would have imagined this at the beginning of the summer. Why'd you kick down my wall? I was listen I don't remember the exact thing I said, but the the gist of it is that I was sitting there at 3 a. It's got this, it's got the most metal. I do not like how you say about you. I well. Well you could learn more about history.

Cause if it's something I really love, it's partly me voting my vote of support for a piece of media that I love. That's that's true. Yeah I think that was a choice because she could fix it. Have you already started this show in your head? Oh yeah. It's a tin can with a string, but there's just like No no no no no. I want three on the ordering side, three on the service. I'm not talking about some fucking fucking bit of honey and double bubble. Just like the Well can ask can I ask what's your can I ask what's your exposure to that? Because when your dad's dying of cancer, like you need a place for that kid to go make ashtrays. And what what is your information to the contrary? Beast on YouTube and stuff like that.

Or like a three is the magic number. And she's I don't think she's just doing it as a bit. Who says that you interrupt people? And he did the thing, the little thing where he puts his hand on his heart. There's some news that's just come in, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And we discreet on that. Yeah, like the top YouTube. Oh boy, have we got a pitch for you that'll seem to make sense. Nope. No, I do not. Okay. Sweetheart. I guess it is like just si what six states and they Ninth month full term But this was 3 a. So my wife has not had this phone number in like 16 years. What? Yeah, that that's is that that's kind of what you're saying, right? Mm-hmm. I thought you were mostly off Twitter at this point.

Because it's my job. They don't have the same streaming channels as you do. Like I I there's no if you want to go make bank off of how you you have more problematizing to do about this That's that's a top. So like I would say a fun size That's that's the album cover, right? Oh my god. Oh God I I don't know. If you think I'm proud of this, well maybe. I don't want to give you anything difficult to edit. Her name was Holly and I ate her cause I'm Haitian. What what's that been like? Like you can tell they realize they're gonna die. But Oh pff Yeah. And also Are you so are you so fucking simple, not you, but don't be so fucking simple that if it didn't work for you means Yeah, this oh see, yes, this is why it is important, Merlin, because uh sometimes I know why things are important now, it's I'm here.

It can cause drama. No. Whereas this uh hey br Spoilers for this I I c I didn't watch the end I didn't watch the end The reason I say this is because Man, you really did have a night. It's always been me. We've had to change our name and now it's an African American box theater. That's true. And it would be like a fairly tight shot. Beast on TV. But I'm also mad because they did not stick to landing. It's not a kitten That's I played ooh the clip that I sent you started playing. So I think that's a good thing. This is a retired lawn chair installer from Why do we talk to these people? Whereas last night as I watched the entire debate. Just quit being such a fucking asshole about like. Yeah, but what about the life of the No no listen, listen, listen, listen.

Oh no, I'm not it's not a bit it's not it's not a bit okay, it's not a bit. Oh God, it used to be so sad uh in the morning. The late great Tim Pool. Like are are you are y well do you have to see these memes? Let's leave that aside for a minute. Do you know about that? Um fast, right? But you know, just because that that percentage of DNA in common does not make them people. They're still undecided! Like the needle jumping around in the New York Times. Oh no, I really I you because like you've had such a good track record For now. Um So fun facts. What I have seen is a lot of local television that's free over-the-air TV, usually over digital. Um, and yeah, yeah, there's like I flipped it on one day and it's like, ah, there's like a hundred Pluto stations.

I don't think I would take that many baths. He was on a KFC team. You should have to be on TV. Just keep talking to me and I'll keep telling you I haven't decided. Musl on a very good good way to m mask my identity because I do already live in a tree. We could probably actually just knock out that range with technology. If you've got somebody else, that's great. It might be a waste. I uh I I w I guess th I I've always I can't do that for everything I like. The um the guy in a tree newsletter is gonna put this on his virtual front page. No, just no Yeah. Uh no, I did not I tried These are all Yeah, yeah, just uh there's a lot of asses in uh I'm so excited for Kamala Harris. Uh uh. Because I guess that'll help I'm very close to nature and undecided.

It's hard for me not to be basic because I have reasons to care about how the world goes. Yeah, are we raising a barn? Like how in like but in this case, like are you still following what those influencers do in Philadelphia in this case? I'm not sure why I'm getting so mad about Like that's a new thing for me. And here's you would not believe what this poor woman looks like. Yep, yep. You know, this person will also be commander in chief. Yeah, yeah, that's really good. And I got through three very three front size figures really fast. And then I'm like, okay, now this is a critical point. Preaching to the choir. But like I the problem is that there's stuff that I genuinely very deeply enjoy on YouTube.

I knew this from hearing about this with Michael Jackson and his chimp bubbles. Awesome. Give us this day these brand new slippers that people really love. Also, can I please get another drink? I don't know. And the thing was so but that that night I was like I think it's funny. And just so it's off-brand for me to have actual This is the point in the conversation where I go, ha I'm not as bad as I think. If they if they're free, um oh what's we get them over broadcast here. Nope, nope, nope. That's my secret. In order to have a conspiracy you have to know how to Yeah, I mean I said this last night about a man on TV that they were interviewing. Oh, we'll go back. Do I feel comfortable like standing politicians?

And it was practically, like for practical purposes, cemented by World War II. I had I had a Budweiser shirt, uh Budweiser hat when I was a kid. And the trick is in the name because they are the installer and the manufacturer. Greg Dolly was in Afghan wigs. This oh, okay, that's cool. Yes. And then like my my friend John that I talk about a lot, the guy who got me into X-Men when I was twelve and you know so forth. It could be free samples that they give out. And okay, well then how do we do that? But he his last three months have been paused. Beast direct Beast. No, no, it m it's give me a lot to think about. Which I think Tiger King, there was some success there. When you first heard about a chimp that tore someone's face off?

She really feels like someone I would have known in Florida. The same way. It's no I think the fourth wall has been down for a very long time and it has not And and everybody else, you're like, wait, wait, no, seriously. Are you are you three? And how about more like, you know what? Alex, what did we learn last night? And she's like, yeah, yeah, sure. m. So I feel really good about how it went last night. Why would they want to make their communication easier to understand? The installer is gonna blame the manufacturer. My grandmother came from Russia. Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg Dulley and John Curley both played little league in the same little league. I'm doing well. It's hard to decide. I that's not that's not I mean I d I the Hawaiian people are a noble people.

Everything that gets us closer to Donald Trump losing, and ideally losing by a lot is a good thing. Fuck. And uh so I uh at the time there were two of them. That's also how I met my friend John, my best friend. But isn't that a similar thing here where it's like, look Because I don't think that Mr. And if you're in a big uh it no I I don't know. Do you know do you know the preamble of the constitution? Three, two It kind of sounds like you have. Many people I don't know. Uh I mean a couple times a week. What what what where are they uh shipping children? Let's do that. It would be fun to take six of those people to a donut shop and just to watch what they do. Yeah. The first time I saw a video of Coco actually like signing with people.

Sorry. Uh Mark Wahlberg caught him though. No. I just want to be very clear about this. I know, but I don't know if it's like TM and what do you consider a standard size snicker? I'm the one who talks to no one in the room. Oh my god, you have issues with Taylor Swift? Beast videos, they could be pumping in I have never seen those literally ad-supported television. Like stuff like that is really amazing or the subtlety of like the equivalent of sentences, not just like object. And I've even known tricks for cutting bangs. Okay, fine, let's just lean into it, whatever. What a night. It's kinda a little bit of a choppo joke. And I watched a bunch of the the here and there coverage. And then I turn off the lights and I eat it in the dark and I don't know which one it is.

Yeah, in I'll I'll I'll learn about Mr. No, I'm not sure. You have to wear like this veil so people like aren't horrified Once again that would be cool. Tim Waltz was live on TV. I disagree. Because it strikes me that he probably She wears the hat. No, no, she's dumb. I'm always angry at the Catholic Church. Oh lady hello! Wait. Yeah. He's he's been he's you know he's been through a lot. And I'm just gonna read it to you in its entirety. And I can't always tell you I can't tell you how deeply I feel about a lot of things because I just can't. Well and and it's That's what that's our message, is that this is so good. It is the best of uh y YouTube. In that case you get a free bonus boy, because you bought a bought a w a w a wayfair.

Yeah. Okay. Even then that was coming towards No no no because like it's one thing. It's just easier not to put a disc in and change the inputs, you know what I mean? And y and that guy is does seem like kind of a dick. And he's like, yeah. The great David Muir and David Muir says there's no credible reports Did you get a chance to see any of the have you Oh, sorry. Yeah. And honestly, like jokes leaving the room, to actually reach the people that you think are reachable. They they used to be alive. Like, I don't know, sometimes that They have our name, they know that we're on this list. Was it Travis? Never mind. Yeah. Every time anything happens now. Back to you, Jacob Soberoff. Okay. If they're undecided, it's like oh women can hop over that.

But uh let's podcast uh unless I'm I did not know that there were waiting rooms. And who will overtly say things like, like just say credulously, because again this woman is very dumb. Let's let's try to put him some plywood. Oh, you're so independent. Um free supported television. But like one of my takeaways, I think I said this last week and I'll repeat it now. Oh my god. I would also be open to talking about our process. Let alone no no What? I'll make a coffee and we'll watch some watch some stuff. And the like and but the advertising campaign was I'd rather fight than switch. I don't I don't know m most. It sits on the little box that advertises it. Do you see what I mean about the bangs?

Well it's a pillow, Alex. Haitian dogs sounds like an old Steely Dan song. We'll only wake you for the important meetings. No, like I Turns out to be a dud. I tried to be. How fast could you eat the Snickers? Americans are so weird. Like I'm gonna just take all of this at face value that all this is true. I mean that's like her her perma position on this is that these chimps are children. Hello. You're saying there's now a retail a retail donut facility? Unemotionally. Um I don't know, man. You should start a different podcast that's just about the podcasts you're on. I just But some of whom, just because it becomes important, some of whom I thought I had it. Oh, oh, hey, back to you, Alex. They're open.

So what you're telling me is that that when you're in a waiting room in a medical situation that Alex, I don't watch that much Oh, it's little kids. And it's just You just say things that are so fucking funny It's I d Well what what would what would change and how you felt about it if I said one way or the other? Oh, the s oh and then what about I saw it. They're eating dogs. Like, yeah, you know you guys, guess what? And it's like I don't like it. I'm more than happy to What what what they did to try and rebuild her face. The phone is made of wood. I know I'm interrupting you. And I and it's like, yeah, I don't know that's that that was kind of how it was. Or not Reese pieces, sorry. I was like, I'm pretty sure.

The hat, yeah, she's got the spark hat. Let's let's not let's not let's not be cute about this. You know who's really difficult to reach? Well, okay, oh God, what? I was watching a lot of media. And so what I started doing was I would unwrap them. I don't think you really believe that. It stopped just short of like like stop hitting yourself. Let let's make context. The the the the most And Don't you just close the fourth wall? Well, does But yeah, it's like, well, why would I learn? No, I've This beady-eyed woman is wearing a meringue on her head and she needs to understand more about borders. Don't do that. It could be a coupon you get in the mail. What what are you talking about? And that's why I'll tell you about NordVPN.

Wow. I'm just gonna keep doing it until we get something we can use. Okay. He saw it on TV And that's why we sat down with this group, this group. What I understand about this situation is Donald Trump needs to lose. But where were you as of like yesterday afternoon with this? But what if you said to your minister, over the next six months, I would like to see you increase No, no, it's uh it's just sounds like definitely something you encounter a lot, is Mr. And that doesn't happen. Kungusto, they'll come to your house. Um Oh, you're such a free thinker. It was when uh when Taylor and uh and Benjamin Button Which is don't fall into the same kind They're open. No. Many people are saying this. Y Then And also now, like don't remember, remember your training, Kamala.

And you know what? I know I want another glass of water before I go to bed. Yeah, and all but also not everyone needs And so coming into this debate, I just didn't know It's a beautiful song. I thought I made a political joke. But Get them to do it. Beautifully done. How do we reach those people? And if I sound hot about it, it's because I haven't been saying out loud how I feel about the people. Beast when I'm dead. You'd learn that in schoolhouse rock. I've never cut my own bangs, because I know what would never cut your own bangs. Ch He says it goes down every night. I've gone. And it was still it it at that point. But listen, listen, listen. I was studying all the shit that fucking matters before your dad even came on your mom.

I They were alive before and now they're dead. Beast is a very Uh what's it? Hello That's fine. Oh my god, that's so funny you should say that. That's what I was gonna ask Somebody said to Willie Sutton, why do you rob banks Later sampled by Dela Soul We learned last night that if you It's like yes, that's what they're putting on a show to tell us. I don't love I Yeah. I know, shocking. Uh I I can't The bra I know, but uh I think if it arrived you'd probably go, Well that that's that's I said, Madeline, I think that man definitely lives in a tree. Is it That last episode was not good. Well and then you just get to the point and then in the end, you know. It's just that with her, it w she didn't just like end up with helmet head.

Uh oh no. Yeah, dude. I want to install a lawn chair and be amongst What a handsome man I got I got the vouchy ouchy. I think we I think Alex, I think we recently I think we recently passed forty thousand people dead. But like Um but but like You know how the ra like radio has the best of YouTube TV channel. I don't have a strong opinion about that, but it was kind of funny when he says we you know Oh my gosh! Like, seriously, we're not recording this. No, but I am. There's not a damn thing you can do about it. So I guess I'll I'll adjust to like suit him. I know that they need to do that to make a living. Yeah. Oh, interesting. It's got uh peanut Reese's peanut butter cups, Kit Kat. Like they're That's better than Judge Judy, right?

Yep. Oh no, not Mark Wahlberg. Oh God. She has more wigs. This is obviously it's insane that anything else would be happening than Hillary win. No. Mm-hmm. We put the spring on Springfield. But even at right after, and this is before the spin room stuff happened. I uh I it was a hell of a nightmare. Uh spe okay, speaking of swag bags. So off putting. I'm I'm my hat, I'm kind of conflating her with the dark haired woman. No Uh young people. I think I'm accusing no, I think I'm accusing people of being counter-revolutionary. If we want you to smoke our camels Hi everybody, I'm Mr. I bet that's I bet you're watching Pluto. Voo Voodoo Yeah, yeah. That's funny. I I just want to give a brief Go install a lawn chair.

But like But that would be ooh What about Wagovy? Well, I don't know. I fucking know. Please don't be ableist. It's very frustrating. Technically it was a visor. Oh my god, that's fascinating. Okay, let's l we are Big fan. They don't give you an estimate. And uh and I was like, uh yeah, it's um If you want like All this stuff you're talking about She's really dumb. Oh god. I Something I feel like I heard about advertising long before Mad Men, although The problem is in a lot of a lot of situations when you get I would like to see when Rachel Meadow entered. And I was like, wow, this feels kind of important. Yeah. Text. This this could be going better. Right. I don't know, it's weird. No. All right, well, what?

Uh Like to somebody who could send that And then I thought, you know what, I owe it to myself to keep pushing. Oh, why I'm mad at this truck. It does I would say it is about uh And here's the other thing. It's not just me. They try to. Don't worry. m. I don't like Hawaiian food. Instead I'm gonna go, No, let's stop m. And I despise them. Have you learned more about Wagovy? Don't Don't waste Jacob Soberoff's time, you fuck. And a part of it was I'm frustrated with myself. It's wild. I'm pretty sure this There's nothing to learn here. That's a dog. Why? Why? Beast, and you're sick. She c Why the fuck and then I showed up for jury duty. Yes. Here's the thing. Are you are you actually sorry? I can't hear unnecessary rebrand Oh it's call it's called the donut don't donut fault.

It's not a great time in my life. I'm not gonna challenge you on any of this because you're obviously not in a state. It only just occurred to me right now. Why are you making that noise? Um I don't watch that much TV in public. Like I have a Sorry, not still. But Most of these things happen in waiting waiting rooms. They they come over digital Mark Wahlberg was molested in I know this. I mean, I know a little bit about bangs. And you're like what I'm saying is It's very annoying. That's absolutely correct. And Madeline said, Aww I A male chimp It's not my not my jam. But now that we're talking about it Um But Oh yeah, so he turned me on to Hitchhiker's Guide. Yes. Like The And apps. Beast. This elect Like Yeah.

Hello. That's exact That But raw transcript