362. The Opposite of Applebees

I'm supposed to be mad about getting old and I'm like, are you kidding me? uh what's his name quentin compton at the at the end of at the end of uh Absalom Absalom I don't hate the internet I don't hate it I don't hate it I don't hate the internet I bet if you watch Chaplain, I bet you'll see some apple boxes in that. Like I don't care. Oh. It's very easy to learn. There's gunshots, there's mayhem, I think a nuke went off in the background. Yeah. You've got to be kidding me. There you go. I'm still putting you in the chokey. Check it, check. But Kara offered to drive you to is your Apple store is it a freestander or is it a mall? like that. that was up today uh says that the the person was getting nauseated, which I know is a beef of old VR things, but I'm just saying might not be the best day for you to strap it on if your primary concern was throwing up in the freestanding app.

See, I'm good. Jesus Christ. I'd make fun of him too much. have lived in the whole time. computing is it doesn't involve overtly using a computer in any usual sense or like an in-hand device. I can be corrected on this and I'm sure I will be. And you were shooting, you know, people were leaving n you know, the tri-state area to get away from Thomas Edison's patent lawyers, so they came to California. With the big suits, is she still the mayor? Really good, really good. What? It's gotta be something different. Like how many times have they I'm have I personally announced the death of uh virtual reality? Mm pa pass through and a what is AR but we're g calling spatial computing now uh or rather mixed Uh no.

And praising them like they're gods on the internet. And you'd just be going, I can I can just see your face. Like when people think of Chicago, you know, they think of like complete and utter uh poverty or a bunch of hipsters and people who look mm p panicky weirdos like me. Yes, they they did. Uh, but at the store they were like, Oh, you want you wanna do a demo? Oh so have you done the mixed reality Windows Microsoft the Microsoft Windows mixed reality headset? try hard. like a boat thing. Three times in a triangle. bottle of pills. Everybody's jumping in to correct Jeff on what year which modem came out and it's like, oh, this is Mastodon. had this one episode where I was talking about just as a thought experiment like there's things I don't hate the internet.

It's just anyway, it's just crazy to compare. for a first run. The the I don't know if you heard upgrade, but Jason was talking about it. terms of I think it's a very good value for what you get. But it's it's like the best experience up till now. uh the Microsoft m mixed reality headset which is being uh uh discontinued, which was this headset um that Yeah, that I that is the one I have and use pr pretty that's that's what I used duh to work um like it has the ability to let you the custom head straps or like a good way to hold onto your headphones because people have different shaped heads and these are big weird expensive things that no one Siri Well with when you when you introduced me to that term that I assume you made up, ambient compute commuting computing.

computing is this world where like not only are you not using a computer, but you may not even be able to put your hands around how it is that your world gets better. ambient computing or you know like you don't need like I guess check engine light's a bad idea but your car doesn't need to constantly be telling you everything's fine. Um soon you will be dead and you will have uh how you say improvements in your life. If you you think about the three dimensions of it and it's square, so you could put it on any side depending on what you need. I use the Apple box when I need to photograph something. She's walking back to your cottage. stuff. Smell hair and actually no definite article on hand stuff, but uh anyways Sm Uh no, no, I think she wants to hang out and read books in that little cottage w with Matilda and just be wholesome in the city.

Well you know, just like it's you've n you've never seen and the way people describe like this screen is so big and in certain ways like the text looks weird here, but like in in this way, I guess if you're doing the pass through it looks kinda weird. for my prescription for Apple Vision Pro, my personal Apple Vision Pro, didn't arrive until last night, and I am familiar enough with VR headsets. He wrote it and he he slipped in as much uh as many gay references as he could into a Hollywood movie and it makes Charlton Heston look super gay. Yes, yes, or um not bathtub, but uh fuck, I don't tr not trust. She's she's implying on the gomaly. changed my life. Atlantic or uh New Republic or something like that.

actual curtain. off the stand and it's been buzzy ever since as well. Incredibly exciting to me in the same way that a s it the f first time I jail broke an iPhone was like, oh my god, because it bubbles. And having this sigh of relief of, oh, okay, the biggest company in the world's d made this like and made it the is doing the things but there will be different ways of computing and different ways of making things again uh in a geo cities type way. saying and I'm adopt I'm starting to adapt this over time. You don't hear it as much now. And I don't make my I don't put myself in in regularly in the habit of asking machines to do things that they are actually extremely bad at doing. Like if you had a McLaren, like that's a really sweet ride, but it probably doesn't dispense Cokes unless that's an aftermarket feature.

me. like a priori decision about an entire class of objects in the world and then stick to that because it makes you feel safe. Capital D depressed in a very long time. There's uh different source of consequences on each side, but hi hi everybody. Hello, hello, hello. I haven't been in front of a microphone in uh t two weeks either. it. I basically spent this is not to make anyone sad. I wasn't reporting live from the fl show floor as they say because I missed my like pickup and try-on appointment time because of the being Uh egg exactly. figured out how to make it a challenge yet, but I mean I'd be up for that. store. Go I will take you to the Apple store and if you throw up, I will not g we will leave if I think you you should leave.

It it it's not the flagship, but I I think it's called something like uh a freestanding and then fancy Apple word that doesn't make sense. And I as much as I I I hate I I love that album so much that sometimes I'll walk into a mall and I go, hmm, I think I know which one this is because I I have a viewport just through YouTube stuff. Uh went to the freestanding Apple store and um I uh was there to pick up an Apple Vision store. They might be called cat uh ca cast members like at Disney. You should use that. pine a little bit for moments when facts are not always immediately at hand. in some ways. a bamboo printer though and uh whips out a a pr a prototype for a potential uh adjustment to the apple straps and I'm like uh for the app for Apple Vision Pro headset and then is swiping suddenly screwed up.

Additionally Titan Night? Who what is what is the VR headset and uh just even without regard to whatever was known or whatever about the Vision Pro, is there one that's sort of like the good one? th that type of stuff. uh w wants to buy and wear for a really, really long time until now with Apple V Vision Pro. They are different things. goat wings or whatever. difference. Uh g w you can't have the f the the b uh but one tier two test but t ooh I don't know because y if it's a startup salted butler, is that a thing? I'm key bones for Apple boxes. that's like of an approximate uh depth and width and then can be of varying heights. Purportedly in the early days of film, if you needed to prop something up, if you needed to raise something, you and this is I think the idea is this is back when and they come in varying sizes.

I w would not. You can stand on it, you can turn it another way and use it as a chair. when this was placed on your very, very large Polish head, that's the first time you've used Vision Pro actually had it on. your prescription is right, right? in that and I guess I'm just I'm kind of just curious idly about the sort of interaction model and like you hear different things about how well the hands well hands Exclusively for square dancing. mm swing but like the basic like one two. Creating uh d dosy doe a your wall. in a pattern. Ever since I learned why I'm alone, it's late on late and see. Mad Max just to like see what it's like all of that that again only been in it for 45 minutes since the mine.

Do you know that? Was it Lori Laughlin? on what I wanted to do. point. Whatever he wanted to teach me would be fine. be but again if you come at it with curiosity and you come at it with like well isn't it kind of interesting that there have been so many things regarded as failures on the way to this but we keep plugging away at it it seems like something something, but like that desire to converge to not need like an input device in the in the usual way. You're like, how in the hell could that ever work? You young kids and your crazy ideas, like have fun. you're gonna have to get past this idea that the way you learn something isn't in nineteen eighty is the way it needs to be for everybody forever.

That's how I feel, right? that so many people imagined and with the open-endedness of this is so not for everyone and maybe it won't ever be for everyone Because I I what I said the other day was I think this is Germaine. Like just using the Turbo 4. It's still but the thing is no matter how nice your Coke machine gets, it's still a Coke machine. And so the thing I admitted the other day on the internet was I said that I've always known that I'm a really bad manager, by which I just mean, you know, I'm bad at managing all things, but especially people. Right. Why would you use a microwave oven? in it. So not only is that microwave not going to write the report for you that you super want, no matter how much you want it, and no matter how smart you're being about asking it, you've made a category error of misunderstanding what the microwave is here for.

It's like the the last salesman of the month at the buggy whip store. m job is and and sh should be for uh th the past few weeks. Uh yeah, but I think I just end thinking about it even b probably because I don't have well, I've been thinking about what my before the iMac, but whatever. Uh let me let me how how you sound you sound tremendous. panic attacks and depression, which is an odd, odd thing for me. Oh that's a good story. in in bed and uh panicking and puking. Bum bum bum popision pro I have uh uh you you've had such it's it it's odd. friend of the show uh show uh cara fagan founder of cox cox is cucks yeah um because she's seeing my s depressed self for f fif over fifteen years now and uh she was like, hey, why don't we Um, as is uh as is uh the fear of technology, which it was a terrible way to s segue b scoot scoot back into my uh Vision Pro story.

But if for some reason I'm reminded of that Chris Rock joke and I'm not gonna do the voice where you would say there's there's there's the mall that white people go to and the mall that white people used to go to. still open. The Mallwalkers. a headset before and I thought, yes, I'm an old salt. g then dec it is at the very end of the day, not in the c store was basically about to close and the Apple See, but you didn't really you d you that doesn't really help and it's not in I like the mystery of not knowing things. I there's songs I couldn't find out about for two, three, five, ten years. The noise because the great Japan would about. you know, this Windows Mixed VR headset. fairly regular and the uh when I'm not throwing up I suppose but the market around uh different um what do I want to say?

It it's the freestanding one that is uh five hundred bucks and uh the have you tried that one? work from your uh computer and use it as a like, you know, floating h uh monitor and stuff. People don't pop into your like they're uh, you know oh god. And that that's where I mean like so when you say metaverse, I think of the Facebook thing where it's uh a weeble of the top half of Mark Zuckerberg at a meeting. it feels very uh I I I don't wanna say Web 1. Yes, yes, uh a a weirdo. uh my m my approximate, you know, forty-five minutes with this thing is exactly as magical and based on presence or you know what I mean things like that but really I think the the way forward with what what we call amia community They just are constantly doing stuff and they're very unobtrusive.

who find things like this creepy, but like if there's a thing like at a basic level, that's what a thermostat does. That's really what you're saying. Merlin, what's in an apple box for those who unfortunately don't know what an apple box is? Just imagine carrying a box full of apples. full of awkward uh teens all breaking out, doing the s these weird little box step squares, and then you know you do like a girl or whatever and like it's all just of course you want to touch a girl if you're me. I never had a latent period. Oh, so I'm writing the ad for it now and I should be focusing on my square dance work. That's that sounds like something else you'd do after going into the chokey. And so if I could service Miss H Miss Honey in the Chokey in a way that she found consensual and desirable, I promise not to talk.

You know what I mean? Alex, I think you might be depressed. is the child would not want to play video games or do those things. Yeah. She doesn't like wood in her box. He wrote a book called Boxed In. No post grad, but yeah, masters. special when you put it on? something with your Apple boxes is going to be incredibly important and really, really magical. working on but no i mean like if you live on the edge of this stuff there's so much more something that feels like comfort and security including yourself to this idea of like well That's okay, but you're really missing out. And I think there's a lot of people who treat their employees the way they treat ChatGPT, which is you're a goddamn idiot, I'll just go do it myself.

My God, I tried a microwave once in 1975 and it sucked. that doing this or li living like this is bad for everyone in every way and you have not investigated it at all and you don't you don't have to. Authors you still write on typewriters and that is their own. come cooled game machine or whatever. That the cook machine is dumb, nor that I am smart. But how often how many people do you know that will never admit it now? Two two weeks two weeks a month. But you know, pfft I know you love New York Times tech reporting. So many songs from them. a I I I guess a hobbyist like you who was into 3D printing because I had mentioned um l uh like they had said, oh, have you used I bet that's gonna evolve pretty quickly in in like real world use after real world use.

enjoy it a lot because un unlike a lot of stuff on the internet, not many people still are into VR and there still is a lot of mystery and weirdness and sort of uh it and there's huge overlap in the with the 3D printing worlds because so much of the hardware doesn't exist yet. s smaller individual type g games, kind of like Second Life and um you know, it it's Yeah, you you still get to like uh go you still need to um seek something out in order to find something cool. coverage of it just because uh m mm been sick and sad and also wanted to go in unpolluted and it it is exactly I don't know who that is, but I know what it means when Anne Haish, does that help? That's not what we call it. In in an episode that I I think will r release I m or the after show, I I mentioned how I expected like easy.

to have a sort of a Matilda effect, which is the you know, you look at the And I talked about honey and the chokey. Uh uh yes, yes, uh that is now that you've mentioned it now. like to you know to talk about square dancing that that was just like uh picture like a uh just an entire gym You're be oh you're being serious. Uh it is now. That's so cool. All right, this way of using computers, being able to physically manipulate things around uh digital things around you in the way that you can create Once again, like you f physically with your body can control your can you just touch this screen, move stuff around, and I think the zoom thing was so wild, just even to watch. What? That you're gonna have to adapt not just to survive, not just to earn a living, but to be a happy person, to be a content person.

revolution is a counter revolutionary. resource that is helped. reality and we're calling it spatial computing now. that. to things. Can I tell you about my headset that I am not wearing and haven't worn it? Hello, hello. And gosh, I we haven't talked in like a a month, right? Hey, keep talking, please. sick sadd like when I say s sick and and sad, I I don't know. But then uh friend then I could be you have your wits you have you have your wits about you. Um but it is a freestanding one and uh th they've got tiers and this is you know one of like the um We don't talk to a man like Mo Green like that. Anyway. store person was like, oh have have you tried, you know, like mixed reality? Um but like you were nine when I moved here and nine years of age and I we had DSL at this house uh that we live in now.

um h s straps is huge, almost n I mean not I was gonna compare it to phone cases. as I had expected and has all of the small drawbacks I expected. what I want my world to be as in, you know, shouting into the air and uh having things happen with uh in my case with Yep. And it's one of those things that sounds like the dumbest thing in the world until you start using them. Oh, I don't know what I don't know if it's real and I don't want to know, but gooning th didn't move uh or gooners. Is that what we're I would love it if one day someone's like, oh, Elon Musk is gone, Charlie Sheen. something like the industry appropriate standard size of something that's really just literally a box for apples.

No, I'm not guessing. We did have dance class, but it was like What kind of dancing were you doing? And what was his name? It's not Quentin Crisp. Well no, but just being b uh just but just uh uh being around at at that uh time it was seemed It was a it was a it was a really crazy year. a critic of Marxist hegemonic theory for my whole life, but I I imagined that I would be writing essays for the Atlantic. people have uh a a small group of weirdos have cared about that since before I w was born and uh I have Kind of. Merlin, you have quite some uh I do not put my joy of using AI on the internet anymore because it's just The takes are boring. that a lot of the most opinionated people are happy to tell you is a terrible thing and nothing good can come of it.

And I was like, well he got his wage on the case. But but and I kind of feel like that's where we're at. And that's what I think is happening with ChatGPT. You know, don't ask a Coke machine for relationship advice. Right? It's a different computer. which came out, gosh, almost a week ago. like depression and anxiety can manifest in physical s symptoms that are unpleasant. No, they get rid of you eventually. out Vision Pro and I have avoided any sort of reviews or any sort of But th but the ambient computing is like n finding a way like a French waiter. Anyways, so that's a new thing we're working on. who um who basically just kind of like sneers at me and thinks he's better than me and that's how I know it's working.

What a selfie. See the big cake boy. Chicken in the bread pan picking out dough? Title Ask your doctor if Lowell is right for you. So Karen took you to the Apple store. He's featured heavily in an Adam Curtis movie. Is completely magical to me. See I I like don't yell at the microwave. on I think m much more of an existential level of like, you really have made this assumption. I am up for this. stuff growing wild inside and moldy and all that, but I also like the ones that are I really have a special affection in this dark part of my heart for the ones where it's like, believe it or not, this mall that I'm in is No, it was because I flexed and it it was one of those polite questions of uh Hey, have you ever tried a headset and they need to make small talk while um they're not gonna be able to do that?

I would have done the same thing. Um uh uh uh but I was just talking about like how um so ChatGPT because like there because like back then dude like it was so but like Syracuse Center like was very much in spirit like the v like like Apple Vision Pro, um, in that it was mixed reality. And d I don't know, just t tech in general, that's not around still with um It'll let you know when it needs. real time and without a f frickin' brain implant that a monkey had to die for. Uh picture like a lovely milk maiden, except she instead of milk, she is carrying a uh she she she does, um or or you think she does. No, that was left out by Catholic attack. What did you want to do in uh grad school? I have heard that their rejection and letters are some of the best.

It would yeah yeah yeah it is uh there it it it's so far from done. And then remember like Lonely Sandwich made that video about like what it would look like, what it could look like to use cut copy paste. aspect uh of it the well fall in love with chat GPT because the entire world will tell you what an idiot you are for not understanding what you're down But like, you know, it you you're basically saying, hey, I've been up in this dunking tank for three minutes and nobody's thrown anything at me yet. And what using ChatGPT a lot has taught me, whether you like it or not, is that there was an improvement opportunity in me learning to get better about describing what I would like done for me. in a way that in this case a computer can both understand and potentially accomplish is not actually making you seem as smart as you would like.

Weekly challenge podcast with Oxcocks and Rollin' Man. You can leave it all in if you want, because I can't imagine you're gonna just perk up a lot in a few minutes, so we might as well have it at the beginning. It is oh no, this is all right. Oh believe me, I get more fell than Sinatra. According to ChatGPT, which is uh never wrong, um, the speed of my downloads, like the conservative speed of my downloads, is 33,000 times higher than what I had in 1994. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of the keep moving and get out of the way of uh tech. How droll. I mean like whatever. improbably good the screens in front of your eyes look. Oh you know, 'cause you know, um Well the well cause what's his name? Yeah, it was it was real bad.

cared about this uh m from the moment I learned about it and thought like, okay, uh I I'm not like a VR is the future person, but very much like Not our destiny, but definitely it's it's something we f it feels like we're converging toward. But what I what I what I was saying was like more like I what it reminds what it really reminds me of ChatGPT in particular, like if you don't think what I the stuff that I'm doing with this that is accurate, if you don't think that's useful But like here's the thing. There you go. Also, greeting cards and baby clues. With Jeff uh Oh, it's just no, it's just funny because I was I was I was sharing I was sharing and of course cause Jeff is there In my case, it's gonna push out the heat at the same rate.

Matt and Matt was like, d is this what's happening? I think that that was a bald guy you might have in yeah, I uh oh m there's uh it was called Wa watching television was the name of the collection, which I imagine is deeply out of print at the Uh there is one. It was weird though because it was nineteen ninety, so I don't know. But the thing where you're like, oh, this is the AR part. I mean, well I mean Why am I here? Um a word I used with my neighbors yesterday. Correct. Tell me tell me I'm good. You must have initially been on dial up. Oh, okay. Or was was adjacent to this guy named Todd Gitlin who was like mobbed up with SDS and stuff like that. And I talked to him about uh going to the university he worked at.

your computer around you and things that your imagination has come up with around you. There's no way this actually works. To which the microwave person says, well, can you put metal in it now? quote th third place other than s Starbucks anymore that's free to go to that you can just pace around like a in and loiter like Have you tried one, uh uh Merlin? No consent, you know. Have you seen Weather Underground? It felt like, okay, this thing me and by by thing I I mean the experience of pass through and seeing uh your uh I wish. I've been in so many VR headsets and it I'm like an old salt in that regard. Uh, well no, I I specifically Dart Edge. Shut up, help yourself. I miss the mystery. Uh f first t time and uh it's uh I don't know, all of the things that you the that bother y you about the internet and m m bother me about the internet, um And I mean not least because, you know, I don't know, I think there's different ways you can choose to look at that if you depending on what you kind of pre-decided the outcome is going to be.

The I mean one of the first things I uh thought when uh they first announced Apple Vision Pro at WWDC last Do you I I I I I'd like to have a golden girls squad one day. And it was, it was bananas. Is that the idea? With spatial computing, which Apple has brought that word back. I don't know if this is a reference or a horrible new character you've created. I I'll stay in exactly one place the whole time. I mean like how how would we not keep arching in that direction? We've discussed the Golden Girl situation. This has been a linear story, but uh just with diversions to uh beloved media. Is that what you print out? No one's ever said th the the that sentence before and never should again. And I just, and then I I sought him out, you know, eventually.

And it's like, why are you yelling at the microwave? It's a funny thing. Um so so you said yeah you've tried on you have uh had previous uh face gear. Oh that When you put it that way it sounds crazy. I uh he didn't say that. They probably have just leave off the you don't say the hand stuff, just hand stuff. I'm so sorry for the siren. I am um so hello everybody. Genius. Like we're gonna be we're gonna have people on avatars that meet with each other and stuff and like walk around like Second Life, that kind of thing. And so and guess what? Like they're just taking care of stuff. I'm I am. And if you're ever called upon to have to dance, you at least have not the confidence, but the knowledge that at one time you have moved rhythmically to music.

It's not Quentin Crisp. That's so cool. But then here's the coda is that my that observation, which I think is accurate, it well here's what it doesn't mean. That's my where you're like, oh my god, it's there's nothing here. I have not I I haven't put on my uh uh pro my m my Apple Vision Pro. And you just, if you didn't hear them back announce it, you were SOL. I mean in our vernacular, I think. I prefer the when I when I bake I prefer unsalted butter. Is that right? I was right in 1975. I just got closer to the channel. I've I've considered becoming a mallwalker because I think you'd be great at that. What a selfie with Bill. Big cake boy. And because we don't know what it is, we tend to go, nah, thanks, I'll just keep my PC.

What's your point, Merlin? This is my daughter this is my daughter Stressy and I love her very much. I did. But in terms of consumer headsets, it's kind of the MetaQuest three at this point. I'm always with the apple boxes. But like the clarity of seeing your photos like that or watching a movie like that, I'm I'm very, very interested in It it does, but for me it felt like a sigh of relief because Why would you have a microwave oven? To which my in this dialogue, in this platonic dialogue, I respond by saying, well, have you tried one more recently? And I typically don't get any sort of VR sickness because I think it's a the Like turning if your house is cold, contra like my brain, the way my brain works, just because I'm really cold, turning it up to 90 doesn't make a difference.

But like I would love to use it just because the thing that immediately jumps out and the thing Snell and a lot of people have really hit on is like just how Mm-mm. And he's the one, I think he's Toddlin, I think, in his introduction, I think he's the one who said we we must learn how to discuss discuss television without being either wowed or neutered by it. Yeah. I'm doing everything to fight mixed reality. Would you like to meet the monkey before he dies? And you don't see podcasts, Merlin. Lori Lightwood. Oh, and there could be some upcharge for l for literally like they're put little bespoke apple boxes around so he's literally looks things down. No, no. Or is that the woman from from uh Full House?

Like, and you know what? Okay. I did. I'm smart. Try it on, make sure that it works. Okay. I mean I God. Oh no. It's a horrible way to live. But it was a thing that you would hear a lot well into the 80s, which is microwave ovens. Gosh, what are they called? Mark Twain said. Shit anywhere. Also the white album came out though, so you know. I wanted to become a good writer and I wanted to continue I knew I wasn't gonna be like a They've got a lot going on. But like a thermostat is a way of saying, um, I want the house to not get any warmer than this. You get the idea that uh Charlie Chaplin liked the younger ladies. I'm gonna do it. Yeah. The lack of imagination is boring. They're having probably a stressful day.

And think about it. I wasn't sure if he'd even fit in the chokey. But that had an essay by Mark Crispin Miller in it, and that's the guy that my thesis was kind of about. Yep, yep, yep, I GRE'd and everything. I feel like I have announced something as as anodyne as Donald Trump might have a point. Like you don't, no matter how much you yell at the microwave, it's not gonna do the Henderson report by the close of business. It's kinda like the face when you when you were really drunk that one time. I I am I'm I'm inferring that, uh which does not mean implied. Send it to me if you want it. Man, but Golden Girls was shockingly progressive as a show. It it was the first uh Apple store in Chicago before we got the big uh fancy one.

You know what I mean? We got we got Brandon Johnson who uh glad is mayor, but it's also like Marvel characters. So so she took you to the Apple store and you didn't vomit. The opposite of consumer. Mm. Hi. I just want I just want the cast members to like me. I'm smart. It was I think it was in the late days of his early career. Yeah, I was gonna say, uh I'm normally the the robot amongst my peers, but that looked What was his name? I mean because like the people talk about like the whole like like the like I don't know it was described I think by Jason as like a curtain parting. The m the multi-touch, you know, the idea of multi-touch, which now we, if I could say, kind of take for granted. Don't ask a Coke machine for relationship advice.

Um so uh did you take Kara up on her very kind offer to take you to the freestanding apples? Oh, I don't miss it, but like I was telling Madeline, like, uh what was the song? I mean compared to a Haze 288, yeah, it was way faster compared to like what I get over Coax now. I crave the fancy one Steven has, but like this one's great for for what I need. They're doing stuff. She's so hot. Um, but uh I like oysters and snails. Uh using that and you using Apple Vision Pro You just you sound um far away. Oh, come on. Do you know of the the Weather Underground? Multitouch was like to me the multi-touch was the thing that was most mind-boggling in some ways. Well, it it it like that that is how I feel all the time about uh z uh sp You've just created the recipe for an old man.

So there uh the the internet decided to give me um some money to buy a very costly headset, the Vision Pro. Same thing. Well yeah, I think Merlin, if you were to look at this person, you would make uh some assumptions. But it was a literal box that from apples that you would flip over and use to raise something. You know, that kind of that kind of enlightened sex people have where when I grew up thinking that sex was the you put your boner into a lady, a lot of people have sex other ways And it's like, okay, but like, is it really a toy? It is. Um no, no, I was talking about um no, I was just making uh sharing an anecdote from another time when uh modem speeds were slow. I just it's not it's not a high priority.

And there was all the you know, the the the the cops in your town were beating up the Democrats and whatnot. I'll be over here doing real work. Well, you know what? Anyways, I'm so sorry. I'm like, no, you have oh and they're like, yeah, yeah, I have one. Like you can use it for so many things, but it's still until you've used them, it sounds so dumb to say, why would I buy Ooh. Like I can see everything around me. And if you just have decided by fiat that you just hate microwaves on principle, that's okay. In some ways it was a toy, sure. My point is that like it's not just about brand names. This is all gravy. No, the the meta quest three. Now have you hired Pierre or to to uh bring it's a gig economy job.

It's like it's like it's like Salesforce, except for English people looking down at you. Well, isn't now sort of your latent period? A collection of his essays about TV from the 80s that was just it just it And that's that's kind of what we're talking about. 0 preview in the playground. And like to me that's part of the future of what we're calling ambient computing is the anticipation of needs, getting a bespoke French way. Not Truman Capote. And like certainly there's the concerns about radiation. They don't uh need this this wreck of a person puking on their beautiful ice lenses. Team members? Well is there one that's like like head and shoulders above the others? And we were just n nerding uh out and I didn't feel like I was going to um you know, puke for a while.

Yeah, I uh I see ambient computing very much as just the entire ecosystem of They're anticipating your needs. Imagine something that's, let's say not that's not the size, but the the form factor of a shoebox kind of, but much bigger. You uh you I know how m I'm uh not now, but like three weeks from now you should when no one cares. Lori Lightfoot. Yeah, really, really ahead of their time. You could ask it for a Coke. Everybody, I'm feeling a lot better. I would not square dance in Michokey. Check it, check it, check it, check it, check it. Well, a little bit less than a week ago now. Like liter like that's what an apple box i is and seems to be a much more. Ba based on her her w wife and uh the statement she made, she likes eating apples and uh not you know, it it she enjoys her time in the box.

It's not it's You're not weird. Okay, so exactly. But it's because there's something there's something about us and it doesn't have to be like a a creepy thing, you know? Like it because like really both of us are saying trying to make a case for vulnerability and openness about something that I do get stressy. She's so hot. It's been unpleasant. Have I tried it? Lines like that? You still can't put metal in a microwave, really. Yeah. And you're like, oh man, if the kid doesn't want to watch TV or well, you know, it's different now. Big House? Let alone me. The buggy whip store had salesman of the month right up until the very last day. Check it, check it, check it, check it. Very very briefly.

I thought about an apple box thing I wanted to do today. No like big s no big moves or anything. It's really loud. It's so good to hear your voice, Maryland. Yeah. Oh yes, I've used the HGC Vive. I'm w I'm waiting for them to scan my glasses so they can get the right lenses. What you're really saying is don't stop heating the house till it gets to this amount. I'm trying to find an icon. And it's I don't think it's gonna get worse. Uh no. And you tend to favor the other pole, right? And I look I looked at Kara and was like, I'm sane now, right? No, just that just that there's the one and the other one. I don't like I don't like that no I just want you to think that's something she'd like It's pandemonium over here.

Perry Mason. And then I walk around. I don't know how a way to retire. Um but but uh the the the the not very complimentary review from Not like the other people say. It it was mostly used for teaching people how to use surgeries or, you know, manufacturing things. You listen to them. You have three different heights, if you think about it. No consent, no consent. 'Cause nobody ever admits they were stupid. Uh it's a metric month. They they addressed a lot of stuff. They have another fancy name. That's the problem. And like I I don't, you know, I like being able to do that now. It's a very Protestant thing to do. Damn it. Oh, he he was really smart. Um Marcus Miller. I I hope your kid is sharing the goings-on of young people and their fascination with abandoned malls.

The entire media landscape is on them and critiquing them and making fun of them on the internet They just no, it's a war of attrition. Really? You kidding me? Yeah. But if you like if here's the thing, if you like the chokey and you've worked out the boundaries, it's totally fine to put honey in the chokey. I can see, right? So you threw up on the Vision Pro and no, I did not I did not throw up on the Vision uh Pro because I mean fitting you is that part of it is they're gonna strap you in and make sure everything's set up right. I'm so sorry. What was her name? What was his name? Um, I mean continue, like I say, whatever if whatever Mark Crispin Miller wanted to teach me. I'm not ready for it yet, but I can definitely see it's one of those things like, you know, just one of those old people things that I'm I'm so ready for.

No. Are you enjoying your goat wings? Um mm the other Bow to your corner. I'm just over here saying this is great for popcorn. This week's challenge. Yeah, that would be the combo. They call it edging. I'm not interested in going downtown. What's happening? And it's like, well, that real work's gonna go away and you shouldn't be that mad about it because you've had ample warnings. It's like the guy I argued with at South by Southwest about he was never gonna buy a Kindle or he's never gonna buy an e-reader until it was waterproof. Well, to make money doesn't make me whole. Like compared to your massive thing that you've hot rotted and you've got like a cum. Um and I but I was really excited to try out the Apple Vision Pro.

I haven't talked to really anyone in in two weeks ex except Matt and No, well no, everyone just everyone's so young. Jason and Mike made it sound like you kind of want to have b those two different straps kind of in some ways. I don't use Do C do enough in day to day-to-day conversation. That that's what made uh my spouse really concerned, but I was like, wait, that's how we always knew my kid was actually sick. God Okay. So and like so to close the analogy with the microwaves and the Coke machine. And you need money for that. And somebody in a blue shirt, like five people in blue shirts, because there's 85 people there, all turn whip pan. It's it's unfortunately it's the Facebook one. It's the opposite of Applebee's title.

The level of detail that you've never seen inside especially like I'm sure one Miss Honey, you can fit four of her in there. Corvet all. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I imagine you haven't sort of a blank list with your eyes. And so somebody goes, well, what's an Apple box? But I didn't have a foreign language, so is SOL. Everybody smiles. 0 because that doesn't I wasn't really around for that, but uh Geo Cities was like my first, you know uh like it's still sort of the Wild West. No, Sylvie with Bill. Uh w waltz, um uh Don't try to drive it. But this this but this very smart Apple cast Hey everybody, thanks for tuning in to Two by Friday, a weekly challenge. The French waiter is what everybody ultimately wants, right?

Is that gonna be okay? It wasn't made for that. A cook machine is a cook machine, and I'm who I am And I realized that the this person is like, Oh god. I can't find it. He wrote the Aaron Burr book. I mean it's it was buzzy before I got the first issue of Wired magazine. And I respond by saying, I sure wouldn't. Just hand stuff. Every man should learn the box step. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I'm like, no, no, no. I would love to hear about that. But I've basically spent like the past two weeks. Ambient computing with Pierre the bespoke non-French buggy. Lori uh what was her name? He was like a cultural critic writing about TV at the time. What are you gonna do? Yeah. Well you are weird, but like that's that's definitely a thing.

But like to move in that direction, you have to let go of the idea that everything needs to look like your PC with the keyboard you like. It was really hard to use and you couldn't even put metal. Or or at least I thought so because I I sat down for Apple Vision Pro and the very nice You would have to go to vinyl fever and hum it and hope somebody knew what you were talking about. I mean it it has already with with other has the dongus like a little buckle to to tighten it to your I still like it or that term back. But a standard apple box is I don't know what it is, but it's uh it's a standard size because in the uh purportedly I'm so sorry. My mix is a mess. I'll die in poverty, but jeez, if I could find a squad.

Oh yeah. And it's just old people walk. Yeah, that's how you knew I was feeling better. Mm-hmm. I will do it. You now I talked a lot. Like there's a lot of nice improvements in that. So anyway, um so Kara took you to the Apple store. It was weird. Very, very uh well I wouldn't call the Atlanta progressive, but I'm like oh, they ask you these no seriously though, were they using brand names of other ones to ask what you tried? Did you get DSL or something at your house? I don't know how it started, but it's a term that I know of from the film industry and the photography industry. I think I'm one of those people. Uh what's the sort of thing? It doesn't matter. People were always worried about radiation and all that stuff.

Uh you probably haven't heard my voice for a while, and that's my bad. Ooh, stressy? Um but but you know you sketch everybody have you heard about this or everyone's talking about this? Oh awesome. No. Oh. Like, but it's all coming being passed through video. But I enjoy that Okay, good, good. I would. Like if you've ever gone to a real French restaurant with real French waiters, there's you know a kind of service called French service, which is like The guy who wrote it, who's that guy? But like, you know, I think when that is still undecided Um or that it's a waste of money or any of the stuff you always hear, which is, you know, I mean it's fine to have a point of view about that. And like I understand that what we call a Macintosh has changed over that time, but to stay dug in on your priors about something It can be about an entire that's why I call it a category error.

I'm you people odd for you because you don't usually get those two together. I want to raise my refrigerator here at the office. Oh, d uh don't ruin that for the channel. I have late onset latency. The word is beautifully weird. And there are still rules, and you can't decide that you just like to take it and use it as a boat, because that's not what the Coke machine is for. Try to hold it together. My name's Jessie and I always wear a frown. And well and I it's so good that I don't go to stores Yeah. Does he want to meet me? She Oh no, they call it gooning now. Not with Miss Honey. A guy I wrote one of the guys I wrote my thesis about was in the Weather Underground. But the I I I'm I think about it Uh l our listeners probably know that usually that I mean I like the ones that are all the way down to like you know Which which I spelled as shh I mean yeah, I think of things like when voice assistants work well, but one of the things about there was well I think about two two things of what I would call ambient computing.

Yeah. Just add racism. Uh, but I haven't been doing anything really because of That would be the combo music. The the metaverse hype is dead, which is awesome because Todd Gitlin. Get a faster keyboard? It's just it's just so unseemly to admit that like, yeah, you know what? Is is this the show? Yeah. Without compromising your opsec, what what's the uh situation at your Apple store? Oh, cast. But you learned like a box you'll probably learn a box step. Think about wood in the boxes. And I I just the past few weeks, huh? Oh, it's nice to hear your voice too. Thank you guys. Oh take it like uh take it John. Like I can't I can't even make a joke about something with without somebody going, well let me Google that for you.

That's a smart device. And you're an idiot for thinking that but the thing I said the other day, which I think might be even a a better analogy, at least for me Do you have the headset on, is that it? And that's the thing is there's no like Ooh, four Miss Honey's in the chokey. Is I mean when we like different a new way of seeing the world and different ways of using our bodies with a computer. Um and it would be And like one is b I guess better for longer times, but the other one is like sort of more comfortable and doesn't feel like it's getting smashed in your face. What Pierre the Fr Pierre the fake French waiter? Oh, I want a butt dash. The the reason I have not yet played with it is because my inserts Perry Mason, the fictional TV lawyer?

No, I used to have aspirations. Real cooks don't use microwave ovens. And uh so I was like, I just can't be puking at the Apple store. They just they just wait for you to give up. I've got a quest. Yes, but this wonderful uh Apple cast member was Listen, Pierre, pump the brake. And just I'm the the two things that I am super interested in Yes. Yes. Let me try this one, check it, check it. You realize you didn't want to puke in the Apple store. This is your first time putting this particular Vision Pro on. I don't know, that's that's so nebulous, but to me part of that is like it it is it that could include stuff like home kit things that are No, no, no. Can't wait to see what you do with this.

I might start writing songs for square. I I can't hear it. No, I think it was anyway. Takes out giants. Unfortunately n the It's not very advanced. Well that was the that was I'm like Alvy Singer in uh in that Woody Allen movie. Lofton? Hey, uh just real quick, In band, uh you are crazy low for me, so I'm I'm gonna try and do some hi everybody. I just want something to do something or in my case capture a thought in Yeah. I'm just in a different mic. And there there was lesbians and it it Reaganomics is in the background of everything. Uh but this person was so kind, was like, so you have you ever used It said uh diana fire. And the then the the analogy that I extended was something I've heard Not old people, you know what I mean?

And they immediately pull up. That little little little woman And then there was simply not an industry anymore because nobody needed buggy whips, except recreationally Oh dear. That's that's gonna oh what a flex. And the Apple Store employee that I got just happened to be one of these people who was a total weirdo and I'm like That's what I think of an app no, how do you describe an apple box? And if you do, you're the fucking idiot. I think I'm I'm b become like the you don't watch a podcast. It sounds dumb until you see it, but like an Apple box. Todd Gitlin. It might get worse culturally, it might get worse by policy, but my gut is this stuff's gonna get better. So the the analogy though for that I keep thinking about now is in the microwave oven.

Um, two weeks. So it's in Lincoln Park, which is a People are just they all have beards and hats and shit and I'm just like, geez Well, it's this box. But you know what I mean? Who's that guy who wrote it, you know? You tell me what what was it And There's nothing you have to sign that says you can't have books anymore. Um click the Golden Girls. I still think ambient computing is a cooler uh way to put it. Even in my secular school, we had uh we had SquareDance. Which was a very exotic idea. And anybody, you know, anybody who's against your particular nineteen eighty P Eight years ago at this point. Come on in. There was a song I heard on the radio, taped off the radio in 1985. I uh no I I oh God box step with her You know what I mean?

No, no, no. There's so many open-ended threads and ideas and it it does not know what it wants to be and that is what is incre Does that be a pretty name for a girl. Like I'm I'm good, right? Yeah, because it's you don't need a PC to to use Like basically instead of coming up and saying like, you know, do you enjoy your do you enjoy your uh And since then it's become a term that's used for and I yes, I have bought a set of apple apple boxes twice. No, no, you got stepped over. Yeah, and that that has died a long time ago and instead there's Just And like I use an Apple box when I don't want the Roomba to go in a room. I would like to see a podcast with all those people together. The nicest card stock I've ever seen.

Like And then they say, well, there you He does not have a preference. Yep. What Which you don't even have to say what that is. A thermostat is an You didn't throw up. Oh remember when politicians got to s Lofton? I think it's a line from Sparky. What was his name? Mm-hmm. I think most people do when you're bipolar. It would be It sounds like the fidelity of You understand? I don't think he was set in bombs or Yeah, it's it's like it has been a incredible I've used, you know, I use the original original Oculus and and then they're like, oh God I sound like I sound like uh But you know, one thing I don't miss is slow dial-up connections. Is is there a version of that in the VR world where people go, well this one it's you know it's not seven thousand dollars, it's not two hundred dollars.

Uh anyway. Because Nazi has a good But like you do sound a little simple. I would love to hear about your headset. Like mall walkers. Just shit anywhere. Ah, in okay. I haven't You ever watch Chaplin? No no Johns Hopkins for daddy. Oh, I'm Hey, are you up for this? It's when I'm depressed is when I'm most likely to have excuse me, I don't have panic attacks, but I do get Somebody it's not obtrusive. Oh, yeah. Correct? Everybody's got a thing which is like their fun thing to do. I have I have the B and H. Mm-hmm. Watching television. What were you going to go to grad school for? Just that's that's one. Just insert date. It makes you you imagine sound smart and you would like to believe that it keeps you less vulnerable.

That's okay. I was like, I want to make you happy. That's a really basic idea of the most kind of basic sort of right like Um Charlie Charlie Sheen? Hi, I'm Tim Cook and I might be Jill Clayton. Well, I'm in Chicago, so there's Don't contact us again is what it said. This is Merlin. That's what every one if I don't know if it's an out Well and like an apropos of the ChatGPT, there's a reason I keep saying that that dumb thing I keep That's the story anyway. Is that silly? I like this mic position. Yeah, like my I do have early memories of the the And I'm I just Yeah, yeah. No one's ever been fixed in an emergency room. Who's who's the gorilla right now? Whenever I need a butler, like I go to Butler Dash and they send somebody over Yes.

Was like, wait a minute, so what? But the example I cited was So Kara took you to the Apple store to see what happened was Well the Democrats were were beaten I mean, well, there was the weather underground. You make you make some kind of Uh in fact, they have a, I don't think your printer, but a uh I got permission to talk about this. And the person I was talking to ended up being a um I could see her really enjoying a the curse situation Watching him on stage like zooming in on the New York Times was like, are you f<unk>ing It does not, it means neither. I'll just I'll try to be quiet. Yep. I was just talking about slow modem speeds with Jeff Atwood on the internet when you called. It's got RDJ in it.

Oh God yes. He's a monkey. Okay. What was her name? No. Is that the thing you're talking about? Oh my goodness. The guy who uh the guy who debated William F. It'll come to me. I think I might start writing songs. Because I think it's a B C T V in nineteen sixty eight he called he called William M. I mean like think about Siri when it works. A very exotic idea at the time that everybody wanted, but which and which of course there are probably That's It's weird. Like I feel like the bamboo for example, bamboo printer that I've got is really amazing in terms of That would be that would be really yeah, yeah. This is the voice Merlin uses for pretty much any new character. Yeah, like how about get a different personality?

I'm sorry, my tummy's rumbling. All you have to do, and I'm not I'm not saying that. With your eyes closed and you just start going, Here's you. No, it takes it takes two to have a podcast for It was an industrial uh not or not industrial, but That's an unfortunate. There's a difference between your work and your job and blah blah blah blah blah. Sure. Used to have A stores, B stores, and C stores. Yep yep yep I don't hate the internet, but I do Like you or you want No, no. I would certainly peg that to at least through the late 90s. Yeah, you're good. The No, you shouldn't drive your Tesla with that on, they had to tell people. I mean, I haven't been like I I I like I was Y Th But it it must just feel astonishing when you first use it.

Once they got, you know, uh BSD or like once they got Unix on a Mac it became very appealing to me. All right. But like and I'm not tr I'm not I mean, I don't know how to describe this without it sounding creepy to the kind of people I But in like the Max Senate days Yes. Like even th th I know that there are some people like there's I can help. Yes. He's a he's from a patrician, old school. Pr I was I was getting better. What was the name of the mayor with the giant suits? I'd put some wood in the box. So l post. Oh Hello everybody, welcome to Do by Friday I'm not even on fiber. I e I uh uh wanted uh slash a expected Oh no no no no. Like who's the sorry, like who's the Dan Ackroy played Max Senate in that movie.

Yeah. And if they're not into that, you know they're sick. Uh and got to tr uh try Oh, was it that gonna be for for uh post grad? Um You watch a show. Oh god. There was a little skull emoji. It was really no fun. Well, I mean like whatever he wanted to teach me. It isn't like you're trying to like turn into a robot or something. Um I love apple boxes, man. I am. That's kind of funny. And it's like And He's like that guy in the Gilded Age, no spoiler Buckley, what's his name? And that's where that Apple store is. No, I didn't say that. But anyhow, um that part of it, I really want to just try this on and watch So you you're being a I was like See no John Syracuse, oh well who I'm not a lot he says I sh I think he's thinks Before he went on Margot Kidder.

Yeah. Relax It's called Bass. You watch that's true. I never f Freud even Freud believes there is a latent period I can help If that's making you happy, I I can't change There's That's why it's an emergency room. I mean this is a completely random fact. An and by by hardware I mean like Yeah. No, no. Cut that out. Uh oh Um I appreciate you What's the guy's name? And I just thought that was such a good way to put it. Uh keep talking for a minute, please. Don't cut that out, triple it. Ugh. You watch a video. You might be familiar with it. I'm Stressy. I'm trying not to look this up. No. Buckley a crypto fact. B-A-A-S, Butler as a Service. Yeah. She's so narrow. Yeah, but the sixty eight convention was pretty Oh my goodness.

But but I I'm still Um raw transcript