256. The Detroit Scenario

AlexThis is Do By Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Merlin Mann and Alex Cox. This week's challenge, watch the other two.

Oh, that that bell does not like it. I don't know. There was something very unnerving about that that was an uncanny bell i is everything okay hello i'm sorry is this like one of those things where you shouldn't ask anyone what their due date is i was just gonna mess with you but

Merlinthe fact is you're dropping out crazy bad oh let me see if i have anything on here it'll probably be fine now now give me a note here what did you not like about the bell what can i do differently how can i improve how can i serve you better i don't know

AlexHmm.

MerlinIs it the slight muting? I pride myself on my mute.

AlexOh, I see. Okay, okay. So...

MerlinI didn't want it to be too much. And, you know, I could do like a Steve Albini. Let me see if I can mic the room. Hang on.

AlexReady? Okay. Here we go. Oh.

MerlinAbout it? No, you want it to ring out? Is that it? Yeah.

AlexYeah.

MerlinHuh. I won't let you finish. Okay, hang on. Ready?

AlexThat's... Listen. That is how a Green Day song ends. I and that is that's totally valid and fine but I

Merlindo you have the time though do you have the time I could make the time to listen to you whine but it's not gonna happen oh boy oh there's a funny Green Day joke on the show community oh goodness which when the dean the dean invites Green Day to play it it's an Irish Irish fan hey everybody welcome to Dubai Friday where we talk about things we like this is Alex hi Alex

Alexoh hey gay brother I did the thing like they do on the incomparable where I did a line from the thing that we're going to talk about oh I see I'm sorry it's very it's much earlier hey gay brother man up man up party who smells fart okay oh have you met have you met the lady from the Garfield

Merlinhouse yet um in that one episode uh which is that would chase the i i am at the pent ultimate episode but you know what i'm talking about the woman who has the garfield house yes yeah oh yes pent ultimate of season one so so carrie's carrie's already messed with his hair he's already

Alexgot the weird streak oh oh definitely we uh the last thing i saw was uh molly shannon yelling out a plane which i think is you saw that you're already up to that oh yeah yeah i i i told you I have a process. I wanted to binge it all in one day. So yesterday, oh.

MerlinWhat about Helen? You like Helen the Comfort Pig?

AlexOh, God.

MerlinPoor Streeter. Alex, there is some dropout happening. Can we, marker marker?

AlexI think we should restart the call, actually. Let me check.

MerlinFrom the beginning? Because there's some gold in there.

AlexWell, that's okay. Do you have to record?

MerlinWant to just start over? Want to just start all the way over?

AlexYeah, that's what I mean.

MerlinI feel so unlucky to do that. I feel like once you pierced the skin.

AlexOh, upsetting. Oh, oh, oh.

MerlinBroken the seal? Don't break a seal.

AlexYeah.

MerlinClub a seal. See, this is all gold, and it's all going to be like tears in rain, Alex.

AlexNo, it's not. No, it's not. You know what? I think we owe Paul Kafasis of Audio Hijack a personal thank you.

MerlinYeah.

AlexBecause that's what I... Broke me. Audio Hijack. God, I use this thing every day. what i'm thinking is it is because i went right from brain school to this meeting so i am going

Merlinuh oh we should do a full let's let's uh what do they say we're gonna reset to one like let's let's go back i don't know what that means but i've heard people use it i don't even know if i'm

Alexusing it right i don't even know if i'm using it which one am i i we're gonna end of this meeting and i'm gonna start do do wait are you here two by friday ding i was gonna say i didn't even get any green day bell You're muted.

MerlinNo, you're not muted.

AlexOh, gosh. Can you hear a truck beeping?

MerlinI don't know if you're there.

AlexYou can't hear me at all?

MerlinI got a set of digital calipers so I can measure things, like the heads of jewelry. And it's very cool. It does inside and outside. Oh, hello, Alex. How are you?

AlexHello. Sorry. There was someone outside yelling slurs, so I kept myself on you.

MerlinWhat is happening? I'm going to get the guitar. Don't make me get the guitar.

AlexCan you not hear me?

MerlinOh, you're fine. I didn't hear you a second ago. Come on. Let's do the show. See, this is the problem. We pierced the skin. We tore away the veil.

AlexNo, no. There's no blood on the sheets. This is not an Anne Frank situation.

MerlinOh, my goodness me. What? Justin Bieber didn't sign our guest book? Do you remember when he went to visit Anne Frank's house and he signed the book and it said something like, I'd like to believe that Anne Frank would have been a Belieber? He said that word about Anne Frank.

You know, they were so close to getting her out. You know, I want to see white roses in her eyes.

AlexMakes me sad.

MerlinOne, two, one, two, three, four. I think that's kind of about Anne Frank. And I think it's kind of about the, what are they called? The White Rose Brigade. Those students. You know what I'm talking about, right? Holland 1945.

AlexYes, but I didn't. I had not heard about the White Rose Brigade until you told me about it. Well, like I had sort of heard it tangentially like these pacifists. Yeah. Yeah, it is. And then I went down a big old.

MerlinThey passed out leaflets. There's students passing out leaflets when they're not supposed to be passing out leaflets. And one of the girl was kind of hot. She was kind of hot.

AlexI mean, here's the thing. When you're under duress.

MerlinOh, it's good for your skin. Is that it?

AlexNo, no. Like when I don't know if I was under a fascist regime, which, you know, January 6th, I was like up up up in the air you were recording with me i remember that oh yep yep that was oh god that was like a i was gonna make a 9-11 joke but i didn't i didn't you're welcome for my service wow what is going on with you today you're you're on another level no no am am i i mean maybe a

Merlindifferent velocity but uh you've probably seen okay you've probably seen this image i'm gonna send it anyway because it looks like it could be one of at least two and possibly four new wave movies of the early 60s and this is a great photo check these kids out now were you were you a very serious uh student in college a very like serious about life kind of student who would like fight nazis and give out leaflets because i was not i was mostly just listening to rem a lot well the

Alexfirst year when i went to a normal college yes there was many leaflets there was also um a lot of uh sit-ins and protests i've never been arrested but i have been detained again you're welcome for my service uh yeah there the um oh god i did this was actually sort of a big deal because i filmed a protest where um i think we've talked about this on the show when a basically a lesbian was coming to teach as the dean of at mark at my former university marquette lesbians

Merlincoming to teach a lesbian's coming to teach he's a what he's a lesbian you gotta know the territory

Alexand uh then she then she was fired anyway there was room as a lesbian's coming to town yeah i wanted to sell you a monorail this is my theory that the in fact like the mra is in the incels are right about uh everyone is hotter under fascism because it's there's just desperation

Merlinthat's like how music is better music is better when uh when politics are conservative look at the photos i just sent you i mean couldn't she be like god she could be like a noelle stevenson look at her yes no look at that look at that last one god oh she's exquisite oh what a great

Alexhaircut they definitely have pronouns in their bios and that was not a that was not a dunk i'm

Merlinsorry no shit sherlock how do you say that how do you say that in french how do you say they in

Alexfrench oh why would i know that uh oh no that's um i don't even remember how to say it in spanish

Merlinwow um i'm gonna employ the syracusa method how do you say they in french don't overthink it i learned this from john oh oh oh oh john john's trick of stop trying to be clever and do operators like you're writing pearl just jam jam on the keyboard and basically say words who's the blonde woman in the movie with the you know whatever you know i see the with the whatever and it finds her

Alexi used to search for things the same way when i was five years old and google was still lowercase So, oh, God, when I heard how he named his files, I was like, what? What? You just write it with spaces? You just write out what it is without a date?

MerlinSo, well, this is, of course, this is from en Francaise. So it's, let me get the pronunciation from the speaker icon here, L. Elle is the feminine they. Oh, God, we're getting into a whole new set of troubles now.

AlexYep, yep.

MerlinIl is the ILS. That's the masculine they.

AlexMm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

MerlinBoy, you know what? I just locked my keys into a succession of smaller genders.

AlexYep, yep.

MerlinAnyway, it's a great haircut. Isn't that a great haircut? That haircut would look good any time. We'll put this in the show notes. This is a woman, and we're having fun here, but these fucking kids were brave. Sophie Scholl was her name. Let's get all three of them. We want to credit them. And that was called the White Rose. Was it Brigade? What was it called? Oh, wait. So this wasn't in France, dude. Oh, shit. This is in Germany.

Alexwasn't it south america and then they've tried to flee to south america maybe i don't know this

Merlinstory r-o-s-e you know what we should make this our downer show that um maybe i'm ready to talk about my downer white rose uh the white vice vice rose uh was a non-violent intellectual resistance group in nazi germany led by a group of students from university of munich or as you say munchen including sophie scholl hans scholl and alexander schmorl the group conducted an anonymous leaflet and graffiti campaign that called for active opposition to the Nazi regime.

The arrest of the core group by the Gestapo, carry on, sentenced to death or imprisonment. Oh my God, oh my God. Sophie and Christoph Probst executed by guillotine four days after their arrest. 22 Feb 43. Fuck me. Oh my God, did you see this monument?

AlexYeah. So cool.

MerlinWhite Rose. Do you see the leaflets on the ground?

AlexI know. It's not.

MerlinOh, that's really cool.

AlexI mean. Anyway. God. Do you want to start? I want to start the show. Oh, wait. First we should talk. Oh, I mean, I'll save it for a challenge. But Hitler's Monsters sure is a good book.

MerlinYeah, that was one of your random Alex links.

AlexOkay. You sent me. No, relax. If I have a good Hitler link.

MerlinOh, I'm Alex, and I'm officially not random. Give me that break. You said it's basically Nazis and their weird satanic rituals, And I think this might be up there with buzz. Oh, yeah. That's one of the craziest books I've read about Hitler. One of the craziest books I've read about Hitler raves Alex Cox.

AlexYep. Yep. All right. I mean, don't bean-dad me. But yeah, I love reading books about Hitler. I find it fascinating. I don't know. Fucking A.S. Yeah. You kidding me? Another story that I've told because now I am developing the brain.

MerlinDid you see a white Tesla? A Vaisa Tesla?

Alexno but i i you know i i charge my my my prius oh god i give these words are terrible i charge my prius at the jewel osco by my house i can't believe you didn't get a subaru you're past that now huh you graduated oh i did i yeah i graduated

MerlinPrius, the car of day.

But you're supposed to get all our lesbian neighbors have Sue Bruce. It's a thing.

AlexBut I don't.

MerlinAnd two dogs. They all got two dogs at least.

AlexIt literally wouldn't fit in my car. Like, that was a genuine consideration.

MerlinA dog or a lesbian? Have you tried putting it sideways?

AlexDo we? Mm-mm-mm. Okay. Anyway. It doesn't matter.

MerlinWhen you charge your Prius.

AlexWell, now it's taken up by this fancy Mercedes car. I forget what it's called, but it's the Mercedes charging car. And then I just kind of sit and wait in the parking lot until they leave.

MerlinOh, dear. Is this at the office or where you live?

AlexNo, across from the grocery store by my house.

MerlinOh, I see.

AlexNo, our office only are Tesla chargers because, you know, a fancy pants startup.

MerlinYeah, no, I understand. I understand.

AlexBut now I'm like, wait, no, no, no. This is the poor day's charger. What are you doing with your Mercedes? Like, it's a Mercedes. They have that universal charger like everywhere. Go to your fancy person. And oh, oh, God, my jewel is being gentrified. Wow. Wow. I'm going to get in trouble for that joke.

MerlinHuh. There's generally, there's, are there, did I read correctly? Because I really don't know. There's like kind of three sorts of chargers and they're proprietary. Is that the idea?

AlexI mean, it's like three and then Tesla because then we all need to always say and Tesla. But I realized that I think I just confused a lot of people more than usual. I know. Wow. I am in a mood. but when I say Jewel Osco do you know what I'm talking about?

MerlinYeah. We had Jewel T in Florida and it was I'm sorry to answer your question yes Jewel Osco is is it a cheap grocery store because our Jewel was a cheap grocery store it was one of those like mostly generics they just cut open the crate and put it on the shelf kind of thing. Is your Jewel Osco fancier?

AlexIt's between I would say it's between a Aldi and like a Mariano's. It's like the most middle class of middle class.

MerlinMariano's, I feel like I've heard that a lot. That's a fancy one, right?

AlexYes, they're both owned by Kroger.

MerlinOh yeah, Max used to talk about that.

AlexOkay, got it, got it, got it. They had delightful pastries. It's actually a very nice grocery store. But if you notice, they, you know, oh, it's all Kroger brand.

MerlinThey're based in Cincinnati. They're based in Cincinnati. You've heard me talk about my best friend, John. You've heard me talk about my friend, Dennis. You've maybe also heard me talk about my best friend, John. Love Dennis.

AlexDennis.

MerlinThe bird's got him a little piece of cinnamon bun. But my dear friend from childhood, John, his mom worked at Kroger at the corporate headquarters. And she answered letters from angry people and sent them coupons.

AlexYou know what? I don't know if that seems like a terrible job or kind of a fun job.

MerlinShe moved up. She did real well. Kay Patton. She was awesome.

AlexGood. Good for her.

MerlinKay Patton's a great name.

AlexIt is. Do you have any names where you're like, ooh, I would never use that? Or is it like a secret in the back of your mind?

MerlinLike names that I think are like my special, like special names to me that I think are really cool?

AlexOh, I meant the opposite.

MerlinOh, I wasn't, I'm just not understanding your question. Am I keeping a K patent in my pocket?

AlexNo, do you have any names where it's just like a red flag goes up whenever you hear it?

MerlinOh, kind of. Yes, kind of. because there are names. I don't know. I'm not sure how the distribution model works for bullies, but there are certain names that just sound like bullies to me. Trent. Huh?

AlexTrent. I don't know.

MerlinTrent. I got to say, no disrespect, but I've met some, well, see, I can't say it because he's very sensitive, but there's some Todd's that I've met that I didn't love.

AlexOh. Not all Todd's.

MerlinPound sign, not all Todd's. yeah the fin lucas line you know that's all the uh and this is as you know i believe um as previous stipulate i've got to find this fucking list because i think it's in the baby book but when we were making our list of names i think i told you that i my pick was the most flexible uh female at birth name that i could think of which is elizabeth was my first pick and because you know like I say, that could be a Betty, that could be, you know, well,

the problem is my lady friend had been lightly bullied by a Liz. And Liz is such a bully name.

AlexIt is. I was, well, I, one of the first people that I was intimate with was a Liz. And yeah, she was.

MerlinDoesn't that make also make you a Liz? A lesbian?

AlexYeah.

MerlinI guess we'll be okay with this connection. What are you going to do? What was I going to tell you?

AlexWell, it's your show. Take it away.

MerlinNo, no. Things that could be follow up. I've got the new scooter.

AlexOh, the like true, a scooter with a handle, I should say.

MerlinYou know what? Let's save that for the, who would care? But let's save it for the after show because it's not actually that interesting. But spoiler alert, I think I don't like it. I think I don't like this kind of scooter.

AlexOh, interesting. Well, okay, let's make it fast.

MerlinToo much. Okay, first of all, this thing. It's called Unagi is the name of this scooter company. And it is.

AlexNo way. No way. You're fucking with me. I sent you the stuff. It's called alternately the iPhone. Oh, that's right.

MerlinThe iPhone of scooters or the Tesla of scooters. And it's a top mini lists of like, this is your best overall scooter. They're pretty costly compared. Like if you get like a Fonzi scooter, like a $3,000 scooter, well, that's a different kind of scooter. But this is like right kissing up right at the $1,000 level. It's really well made. It's got two separate engines on it that will go through more battery, but it's got like 500 watts of power. So it is good for going up hills. But it's a classic, I guess what you call a kick scooter, an electric kick scooter.

And just to be clear, for those who've never seen it, the one that I have in love is one of those segues that's, when people think of segues, I think they think of Steve Wozniak or obviously Dean Kamen. But, you know, the one I ride is a, I think it's the one you've got. It looks a little bit like WALL-E, a little bit. And you just stand on this thing and it balances. And it's the best. I love every second I'm riding this thing. So I thought, you know, maybe I should upgrade. And so as I previously mentioned, I think this is such a good idea.

Unagi offers this thing called a subscription. I have no idea how they make money off of this. But basically, you pay a setup fee, and then you pay, I'm paying $60 a month to essentially subscribe to, a.k.a. rent this scooter. And it covers stuff like insurance damage, and it's a pretty good deal. Excuse me. And I paid $10 extra to get a new one rather than a refurbished one. And I was so excited for it to arrive because I have the need for speed. And I've been thinking, oh, man, my current scooter, the one you've got, I like the balance and, like, solidness of the ride.

And yet the non-bumpiness of the ride is so much better than any other Segway I've been on. But I hate everything else about it. I hate that it doesn't have a trolley handle. I hate that it makes all the constant and beep noises all the time. It drives me fucking crazy. it won't accommodate a kickstand like my old one, it just falls over

Alexoh weird

Merlinanyway I don't think it will, I couldn't find one that would work with it anyway I thought let's try the upgrade what? it's going to cost me $100 to find out basically you pay a $50 setup fee and then the first month so it's like $110 service is great this company I talked to somebody who's like anyway and so the thing arrived last week and I even bought a helmet now here's the thing I went to a bunch of those phony baloney lawyer websites that are like, how to be safe with a scooter in San Francisco and be careful because you're probably going to get hit by a car and you're going to want to sue them.

But a couple things hop out. One is like you are really not supposed to ride this on a sidewalk.

AlexOh, absolutely not. Totally illegal.

MerlinWell, people who do are generally pariahs in town. I'm in a part of town where, you know, you don't just I'm not in a regular part of San Francisco. But I read my Scoot Scoot, my Segway on there. It's, you know, really easy to get around. I try to be as polite as possible. That thing would not be good to have on the road. What's the distinction? Well, if it's got handles, as my understanding, if it's got, you know, handlebars, you got to ride it on the street. Okay? That's one thing. So keep that in mind. You've got to wear a helmet. So I'm wearing a helmet, which is probably a good idea anyway.

Then, though, okay, you ride this with your two feet on it. I'm goofy-footed. That doesn't matter. But, you know, you kick to get it started, and then it gets going. It's got three engine levels. You could do like beginner mode, intermediate mode, advanced mode, etc. On top of it all, the ride is so, I'm on the road now and it's so much bumpier and I'm having to like check my six all the time because I'm on a fucking road riding this scooter. It'd be one thing if it were like a moped, but like it just does not, it does not feel

fun or safe or relaxing or any of those things. It's not as balanced. the steering the throttle and the brake are really sensitive you know i'm so used to the this is so sad i'm so used to my regular segway like being an extension of my body like i'm really

Alexgood at it that's what makes it so cool and so well made remember when they said you know the

Merlinapple watch i think it's kind of horseshit but it's memorable when they said the apple watch is the most personal device we've ever made right and and when you say well this is a personal um what do you call it? A personal travel device, I guess? The Segways really is that. Like, it really feels practically like you're floating. I've had this thing. I can't even tell you how many. I've got 600 miles or so on this one. I got over 1,000 miles on Segways. I ride it a lot. And it is how I get around.

Someday it's how you all will get around if you want the planet to live. And I love it. But the fancy, nice Unagi scooter, I don't know, man. I think I'm not going to go with it.

AlexI'm looking at it. Here's the thing. So are these tires not inflatable?

MerlinThey are not.

AlexThey are solid.

MerlinOkay. And it does not have a suspension.

AlexSo you feel every.

MerlinFuck. And, and, and. Now that handlebar, remember, this is not like riding a banana seat bike. Like these hands, it's very sensitive. Like you constantly feel. I mean, my balance is okay, good. but like going on a road bouncy bouncy bouncy i don't have a i don't have a rearview mirror so i'm constantly kind of looking over my shoulder because i'm still getting used to cars buzzing by me i mean i don't ride a bike i'm not a monster i'm not used to any of that so anyway that's all i wanted to say i'm going to give it another week or two but i have a feeling i'm gonna no you're

Alexnot gonna let it without any sort of suspension and these wheels i don't know i i guess the first time i looked at them i thought they they look like razor actual razor wheels like a bigger or like rollerblade uh wheels if you are not a dirty dirty millennium and this also i i mean i don't want to say that everybody in this video has gigantic feet because that's it actually feels like they picked people with smaller feet for this uh oh god people are gonna go and watch this

now just for the feet aren't they oh ah goodness uh oh i'm sorry i think i'm kink shaming that's

Merlinwhat uh have you met the insta gaze yet oh oh i used to be fat but now i have two nieces he says it like three times uh yeah but there is one maybe in season two but yeah well it's one where carrie has to get on uh what's the sex one tinder what's the sex one i mean uh grinder grinder grinder and so one piece of advice he gets is to like make sure you know he gets his feet in the video and there is there is a bit coming in the first episode of season two that

i will not spoil for you but i promise it will make you very very happy that involves feet there's

Alexa very funny thing involving feet because i oh maybe like i am oh what would maybe not having a kink is like my own kink you know like if it's like oh no don't don't like the feet oh no i don't

MerlinOh, interesting. Your fetish is no fetish. You're a fetish ace.

AlexI, oh, like a chaste, fed chaste. Huh. I like chasing your dreams.

MerlinOh, I chased dreams because my mom taught me I should always chase my dreams.

AlexOh, gosh.

MerlinOh, my God. Isn't he adorable?

AlexI was blown away. I thought I knew what to expect from this.

MerlinI know. I know. But you get to the end of the first episode.

AlexHoly shit.

MerlinAnd he's in bed with them. Oh, my God. It's like they're such a sweet and they're so supportive in their own weird way. Oh, my God. We should talk about the show.

AlexI just want to say that.

MerlinLike, nothing against you, Nagi. I put a link in notes. No copyright intended. Also White Rose.

AlexThis is a deeply unsafe scooter and way more expensive than the boosted scooter. Like, you know, the boosted board.

MerlinWhat's the one matchy? You see matchy's on a Segway, one of those, the Ninebot Fat Boys, like one of those big ones.

AlexYeah, it's like one of the max. Like it is one of the more expensive ones. But this one now is, I think, two years old.

MerlinBut he likes it, right?

AlexOh, yeah. Rides it every day. And we don't have a ton of hills, but we have a ton of like small potholes where like your Congress or not Congress here.

MerlinAnd this is where you're going to want them 10-inch wheels.

AlexOh, boy. Okay. All right.

MerlinOkay. We're going to make it into an experiment. What else did I write down here? I wrote down. Oh, yeah. I want to tell you something. You know, this morning I was, well, actually, as I was going to bed last night, I like to set up coffee for my lady. So she gets up before me, and that way she has a thing, and she can just pour water on it. And that's the way I say I love you. And I was thinking, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I was told to never forget. It's September. Alex, it's September. Do you know what that means?

AlexDo you know what that means? You should wake you up at the end of it? I don't know.

MerlinIn less than two months, it'll be one year since the election.

AlexWhoa. Normally, I'm not phased by the, oh, kids.

MerlinIt feels like six months. It feels like four to six months to me. And it's been 10 months. In 50 days, it will have been one year since the election.

AlexWow. It feels like three years ago.

MerlinYeah. No, that's the problem. This is the new phenomenon we've been talking about.

AlexIt feels like both. It's the, what is it, the rubber band effect? Or the, I don't know.

MerlinDreamatorium, I think you're thinking of.

AlexBut I mean, now I watch clips of Trump doing either stand-up bits or, oh gosh, he did the Korean cult convention. I don't even know.

MerlinThe unification. Unification church is the polite way to say it.

AlexOh, yes, yes.

MerlinWe used to say Moonies.

AlexI don't get that joke.

MerlinYeah, because Sun Myung Moon is the dude.

AlexOh! God. Did you ever get close to joining a cult as a youth?

MerlinI mean, B, yes. And A, I think I've been in cults, you know?

AlexOh, interesting.

MerlinWhat did I watch the other? Oh, I shotgunned the entire Lulu Roe series on Amazon. and it's like I almost said this, I had half an edible so I almost said this but then I realized it's not as clever as it sounds and I was about to say to my wife I wonder if the difference between a cult and not a cult is you just get out before it becomes a cult or you get out before it's like then I thought about it and I went well that's a really dumb general thing to say but

let's go back, see also David Simon and The Wire and being corrupted by a system, it's like whatever you're in for long enough is going to fuck you up

Alexbaby yeah i mean if it's got a pyramid i am sorry our latency is so bad i don't know why i'm so sorry no no i think honestly i think it is i just um you i already just shot my wad with zoom today

Merlini guess uh but we'll figure it out oh you used all your zoom i'll stop interrupting no no what

Alexwas that noise uh i i think that is what you said is very smart because it it's a way thinner line than i suppose most people would think at least in my opinion because i mean i was in youth group uh as as a baby catholic and that youth group kind of um expanded into what is uh i mean i don't want to say what it is but if you're if you're christian and you're in you were in a youth group You'll probably know it. I'll put it in notes.

Like Young Life.

MerlinIs this CYO? What do you call it?

AlexNo, no. It's called Young Life. And it was one of those things where.

MerlinThat really, that sounds like it's too close to Herbal Life.

AlexYep. Yep. Anything with, oh, God.

MerlinBecause isn't there also Young Living? I think that's where my mom, my mom does knockoff oils from Young Living. There's Young Living because that's what protects her from getting COVID is something she makes called Thieves Oil. I think the cloves are mainly protecting her from getting COVID.

AlexOh, great.

MerlinBecause she's not getting a vaccination. Don't be crazy. There's Young Living. And then, oh, and then there's, what was yours? Wait, what was yours called?

AlexYoung Life. And I just sent you a link to it. Oh, wow. This seems like a basic.

MerlinThis is very Mr. Show looking. You were made for this.

AlexYeah. And, I mean, it looked, that's the thing. This this looks actually much better than the website that was up when I was in it. But I mean, you go. And like a few years later, suddenly you're at a meeting where people are speaking in tongues. And thank God you're a senior in high school. So you can get the fuck out of here. But I mean, that's I don't know. It gets real close.

MerlinWell, oh, so is this charismatic? Wait, hang on. Is this charismatic Catholics?

AlexNo. Oh, well, I OK. Okay, taking it a step back. A lot of charismatic Catholics were in this as well as, I mean, what you, I guess, you know, like the evangelical, the righteous gemstone types as well.

MerlinYeah, because my grandmother went to like a snake handling speaking in tongues church in her later years. And I think, I don't even know if they use that term anymore because it sounds kind of like not really getting to the point of what we're trying to say about the church. But there is a charismatic, I think we call it charismatic, obviously evangelicals, that's right in their wheelhouse.

AlexI mean, there was even this thing. This was actually full on. It's referred to more as Catholic mysticism because it's like, oh, yes, we're just embracing not knowing. And there was this calling lay. It was a laying of the hands, which is a pretty normal thing to do in the church. Yeah. Totally. Yeah, on both sides.

MerlinNo, no, no, I'm being serious. Like when somebody gets baptized or somebody's ill, it happens all the time.

AlexBut this one, we all were standing in a circle and, you know, like face out. So there was a priest there who...

MerlinTurn away from me. Don't look at me.

AlexYep, yep. Well, yes, that was... He made us... God, I'm like... He made us close our eyes.

MerlinI'm sin visible.

AlexOh, God. And then suddenly a person appeared and then this person would come behind us. And then because it was like, OK, they're just my helper in case you pass out.

MerlinSounds like non-secular duck, duck, goose.

AlexBut, I mean, well, that's the thing. Jesus was nice enough to move you into, you know, falling asleep or embracing the spirit. So you'd basically, most people would pass out. And by I say most people, I mean everyone because, you know.

MerlinWhy? Because your knees are locked?

AlexBecause we all faked it. We all faked passing out.

MerlinOh, I see. Gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta. I get it.

AlexYeah, it was so bad. And then afterwards, it took like one brave soul to be like, hey, hey, guys, I'm sorry. I just want to I don't want to disrespect you guys, but I don't really understand. And I did it and I didn't mean to. And I don't want to disrespect you and your beliefs. And we were all like, no, that was fucking insane. And it was very creepy and weird. And I don't know. Like, I I'm still like, I guess I would still consider myself sort of Catholic. But yeah, youth groups get so fucked up so fast.

I don't know.

MerlinYeah. Can't spell young life without you and I. The other thing is like when you get to the – how do you put this? I have this distinction, you know, me and the words. A distinction that I make that works for me, which is my definition of a lie as opposed to all the other words we use. Even if you're being dead straight about something, I think in order to call something a lie, as I have said, I think it has to be something where you're trying to convince somebody of something that you know is not true and you would like them to believe is true.

I think there's a difference between misspeaking, all those things. And a lie to me is when you deliberately and especially sort of habitually try to convince somebody that reality is something different than it actually is, which obviously shades into gaslighting. And I kind of feel like, I don't know if this is technically a cult thing, but in terms of the Venn diagram of how corruption organizations work, think about how many places you've, almost any group that's not totally like ad hoc,

everything north of jury duty, there has to be some element of, I almost said getting you to drink the Kool-Aid, which is wrong on so many levels, including that it was flavor-y. But they need you to buy in on something that a lot of people might consider a sort of elephant in the room. I'm sorry, I'm being really obtuse about this. What I'm trying to say is, I think another aspect of cults or cult-like behavior is that the people who are in a position of leadership know a lot more about what's going on than they let on.

And that the success and growth of their organization depends on limiting the amount of information that gets around. And then, of course, you get into all the other things like separating people from their families and controlling their body and their diet and their sleep and all those things, all the things that the cult people talk about. And isn't it funny how many of the people who are cult experts, you know, were in a cult at some point? You know, it's like I say, you should only take advice about productivity from people who are a basket case. But I don't know. I think that that's if we did for the sake of argument, just as a thought experiment, say, well, what if that's true in other places?

Well, think about the places where when I was when I had a jobby job, it was considered anathema to discuss money with people that you worked with.

AlexInteresting.

MerlinWell, and you would never in a million years talk about what somebody made, including yourself. And that could have been a Florida thing.

AlexInteresting. No, that's still a thing in the Midwest that we're constantly trying to go against.

MerlinRight. But Apple and Apple, Apple supposedly shut down the Slack channel that was about salary transparency and people telling each other what they made. And I think the people now to me, that's an interesting one. If I'm if I'm being good hearted or good faith in my apprehension of that, I could see them saying, well, hey, that's that's that's other people's information. You're not allowed to, like, share that information because blah, blah, blah, HIPAA or whatever.

AlexI'm like, that just sounds like something you're doing. No, no.

MerlinBut the thing is, are the people who, for example, let's not even say the people who shut down the Slack channel, but the people who decided this was enough an issue that we need to have a meeting about this and make some decisions about what to do about this. Did they do that from a standpoint of like, oh, this is just going to cause dissent? Or no, sorry. Is this going to cause a lot of hurt feelings and waste a lot of time and make people unproductive? That could be one. Another one is, yeah, maybe somebody from legal. Like, yes, somebody from legal, they're going to always tell you not to do something or to stop something from happening because that's why you hire a lawyer.

That's right. There's all of that. Does it come from some mustache twirling evil Abed idea of like, I want to keep in order for this cult to work, Tim has to keep everybody in the dark. I bet that's a bridge too far. But it probably feels like that sometimes. especially in a place that has so much culture and history and you don't even need to say Steve would have thought this or Steve would have done that. It just seems like that's a constant kind of grace note through everything you do.

If you're not a cult, you might be, as my friend Sam's dad said, if you're not a cult, you might be missing your best bet because it sure probably feels like a cult to people who get an express or implied admonishment about doing things that are unclean in the eyes of the cult. And you start policing yourself, you know?

AlexYeah, I mean, well, what you described just feels mostly like capitalism. And you could argue whether or not that's its own death cult on a just macro scale. But I think about how...

MerlinI'm going to learn about this capitalism someday. It seems like it's something you think about a lot and that you have found to be the cause of a lot of problems. And yet you participate in society. Interesting.

AlexI know. I'm a monster. But I think about how much I looked up to Steve Jobs and how it was like, oh, no, he's a different billionaire. He only takes one dollar in salary every year because taxes. But you, I mean, when you are 20, you don't know those things. And you're like, oh, this is like a really inspirational guy. and very, very smart. Yeah, and he doesn't, you know, oh, I mean, he bullies his employees because it's smart, and that's how the Macintosh got made. And that might be true,

but it can also be really sad and bad, and I don't know. I'm kind of, I wouldn't say ashamed, just sort of embarrassed by the, I don't know, I wouldn't call Apple people cult-like, because I am an Apple person. I think their software is superior, usually superior and their hardware is in many ways it looks i think it looks like a cult from

Merlinthe absolutely outside yeah yeah but this also god i'm gonna start capturing all these my my dumb word distinctions that mean a lot to me how about this one i've been using this kind of a lot lately but like an excuse and a reason are not the same thing exactly when you give somebody uh something that they can see as clearly to them really seems like an excuse, you can very much think of it as a reason. And maybe there's vice versa things as well, where somebody say, oh, God, I have no excuse for being here. Like, well, wait a minute, you have somebody home sick. That's a

perfectly good reason to be late. But think about, I mean, something like that. And these kinds of distinctions matter to me because it's what makes life good. Because everybody's got their reasons. And consequently, everybody's got their excuses. And so if it's my cult, it's doing the will of God who created the universe. And if it's your cult, you're trying to, you know, fuck devil babies or something and get the adrenochrome out or whatever. It's just, I'm not to put too fine a point on it, but, you know, everybody's got their reasons.

I know that that doesn't make people happy, but nobody thinks they're in a cult.

AlexYeah.

MerlinIt's really difficult for a lot of us to accept, but there's nobody in what we would clearly call a cult that thought of themselves as being in a cult. What person with any sense would be in a cult? Well, nobody would be in a cult. I'm not in a cult.

AlexThat's why it's such a good definition of a cult, I think. Like, yeah, you're right. I mean, no one thinks they're in a pyramid scheme either.

MerlinAnd the dumpster that I am eating out of is ideology. And by the way, I'm using a Breathe Right strip this week. I'm all in on Breathe Right strips now. Alex, I think you need to get into Breathe Right strips.

AlexI am not into Breathe Right strips, but, you know, my spouse, Matt, he's very into Breathe Right strips for my own benefit, and I love it.

MerlinThe right side of my nose is a little greasier, I think. I lose adhesion on the right side, and I don't want to use something too astringent. But I got to tell you, buddy, it's just flowing freely right now. I'm not even snorting like I do. I still have a slightly swollen uvula, but I think that's just my life now.

AlexThis actually is very interesting. Are you saying that Breathe Right strips don't just help you at night? It helps you throughout the day?

Merlinyes absolutely huh do you remember me telling you or saying to you not telling you months ago when i said i think you i know we don't say crazy anymore but i still say crazy because it's a very good word and it's meaningful i think one reason you and i might be crazy apart from all the reasons the quote-unquote doctors quote-unquote think quote is that is that we don't breathe well and i think part of my my panicky anxiety might come from the fact that i just am not it sounds nuts But you know how John Roderick, I don't know, you've heard the show.

John Roderick's greatest fear in life is like having the police put a bag on his head and stick him in the back of a police car and bury him alive. Like he has, John's a pretty gutsy guy, but he has grave fears about being buried alive. And like, I don't feel buried alive, but if I can't breathe, it's almost like I think I get like background panicky.

AlexYes.

MerlinIf I'm not breathing freely. And if I am like having something close, if I'm having one of my really rough, anxious nights and I can't breathe, a lot of the Detroit scenario title that that's when daddy gets fucked up. So I had some sitting around and went, ha, I haven't played with these in a while. And they're kind of old, a little bit nasty. So I ordered some new ones. I got some Breathe Right brand extra strength strips and it just it just tears my nose right open. I love it. I might start doing four.

AlexOh, oh, oh.

MerlinI'm just thinking, I could abuse anything. I swear to God.

AlexHere's the thing. If you used four, I feel like you could wear that out and about, and people wouldn't question it. It's like, ah, that is a man with a big Band-Aid or something on his nose. And just like with your Scoot Scoot, they'll look at you and then immediately look away in shame.

MerlinYeah, so the people out there, their body is half covered with shitty tattoos. And I'm the weirdo for having four Breathe Right strips to pull right off? Check yourself before you wreck yourself. That's what my... No reason this has to be a marathon. Did I have anything else for you? Oh, we'll talk about time tracking some other time.

AlexTime tracking. Oh, I listened to the... Yes, yes. And you know what? I've always been... Not yet. I don't know.

MerlinDo we have time for this? What time is it? We don't have time.

AlexNo, no. We don't have time.

Merlin40 minutes. We're okay.

AlexI don't know. Is this a challenge?

MerlinThey don't all have to be three hours long, Alec.

AlexI know. That's why I said we might not have time. um i'm like when do we restart the recording because now i have two audio hijack files it's difficult being a podcaster jesus it's a lot of math oh god uh one plus one i i will say doctor i don't know i have had indeed doctors tell me that like oh no no no like yeah allergies can make you actually crazy because it is that breathing restriction and the like pressure that's going on in your head, which is why I take Claritin D, which is something that bipolar

people shouldn't really do unless a doctor says, oh, yeah, no, like it's OK to be a little more manic.

MerlinI think the side effects, the side effects, or in my case, the desired effects of Claritin, I think it does.

AlexYeah, I'm not going to say no.

MerlinNo, I'm not made of stone. But in the same way that caffeine, I feel like can affect different people very differently. You know, I bet the side effects can be like some people just get it takes nothing for some people to get super manic. Or as I like to say, crazy manic.

This week's challenge was mine. And I, if you didn't like this, I'm going to be so sad. My challenge this week was to watch season one, episode one of the HBO, I believe HBO show, The Other Two, which is currently in its second season. And for some reason, I just thought it might be in Alex's wheelhouse. And so how'd it go? The Other Two.

AlexI loved it. I know the challenge was to just watch one episode, and I really liked the first episode. I thought in terms of a pilot, it was much better than most pilots.

MerlinHow about that setup, that pre-credits cold open setup? How great was that for let me and then when it ends with the toilets, it's like I've watched that. I've watched that episode probably four times. I feel like from the start of that show to the toilets is like, oh, my God, this is a masterful setup for giving you context for what this TV show, what you can expect from this.

AlexI mean, and the pilot, there are references that come back around in either almost every episode or like the final episode. Like how many times?

MerlinStuff about Streeter, like the stuff. There's like this little like.

AlexYou're laughing at me? You're laughing at me? You know how you can look like a million bucks? Now you can walk with a dollar.

MerlinI left you in the bathroom for a minute. Oh no, you can look like a million bucks and sound like a dollar. Oh my God, I love him so much. Oh. He keeps dabbing. okay so if you haven't seen the show please go watch it it's really good and would you agree alex please agree with me that show goes down easy where you're like holy shit that was 23 minutes or whatever oh yes and this is why i can watch most of season one on a sunday morning and

Alexafternoon which i've done a couple times i watched nine episodes yesterday and i it's just uh it's That's fine. That's what.

MerlinThat's like one godfather. That's nothing. That's nothing.

AlexYeah, nothing. Nothing. And I was expecting not quite it's always sunny level, but I guess edgier. I don't know. Not edgy. God, I'm breaking up. Sorry, Quinn.

MerlinWere you expecting like sort of extreme edgy stuff?

AlexI was expecting not necessarily extreme edgy stuff. I was not expecting how wholesome so many of these characters would be. I'd argue most of them. I mean, you know, when you say Ken Marino and Molly Shannon, you don't really think of, like, wholesome necessarily, or at least I don't always do.

MerlinKen Marino just wants to have a family. He just really wants to be in a family and feel accepted and loved and needed.

AlexYeah, and it's so weirdly... I mean, it's I was actually shocked to know it was made in 2018 because that, you know, not only feels like a decade ago to me, but the humor is so 2021 in the best way.

MerlinIt's when you're doing when you're doing so much like and of course with me, like I never watched that Netflix show about how terrible the Internet is. But there has been like a fair amount of stuff in the last few years that's like, in the same way, like COVID humor is just way too on the nose all the time. Like it can't age well. No one's going to watch this season of Grey's unless they have some kind of grave brain injury. It's so fucking bad. All the COVID stuff, terrible. But also, I mean, I've said before that in the Inbox Zero talk, I really wish I had name checked Facebook rather than MySpace because it hopelessly dates that.

Not that it matters, but it's just funny in retrospect to hear a reference to the time in 2000, whatever that was, six, when MySpace seemed unkillable. Like it was always going to be and Facebook was just this like pretty, pretty looking upstart for college kids. But I think there's also been a lot of like probably way too on the nose booga booga stuff like that Netflix show about how terrible the Internet is.

AlexWhich was produced and made by the people who built said terrible internet, which drives me not crazy. We don't say crazy anymore. We don't say crazy.

MerlinNo, we say manic. Manic.

AlexYeah.

MerlinBut what was my point here? I think it's really easy to be way too on the nose with lol, lol, social media, lol. Like it's just every joke has been made. And whether you're very online or extremely online, you've heard it all and you're dead inside. And none of that matters. I think for a show that's, what, three years old, two, three years old, I think the references and the gravity of what they're presenting still feels very real to me.

And that's probably because I'm now very online rather than extremely online.

AlexOh, that's so good. Yes.

MerlinI think, like, did you see the thing? I didn't read the whole article because who has the time the thing about how the internal thing from Instagram that one out of three girls develops they harm this sounds low in retrospect the teenage girls one out of three Instagram is harming their body self image

Alexyeah I felt that number was low to be honest

Merlinit should be more like a two out of three probably but I mean you remember me years ago I don't even say this anymore because who fucking cares but I can't It's probably we're pushing up definitely over five, maybe closer to ten of like real. We've done it on this show since the beginning. What is it going to take for you fuckers to get off of Facebook? I have to do it for my work. OK. I mean, like that's what they said at Nuremberg, dude. Like I had to do it for my work. It's like you're fucking crazy. And I think Instagram is the same. Everybody clings to this four year old idea that Instagram is the last like nice place.

And it's like, oh, I can follow who I want. And all I see is dogs. Like, yeah, but you're also seeing a shit ton of ads with a woman's ass in it or a brassiere. And like there's just all this, it's all this, nobody wants to admit how sad and infuriating, how sad and lonely and less than Instagram in particular makes people feel. If you ask them about it straight on in a Kahneman sort of way, let's go straight to like a second order thing. I'm going to ask you something. Like you're going to give me some bullshit because now you've thought about it.

But, you know, I used to say that everybody who using a blackberry looks like they're draining a wound. I think Instagram kind of feels like that. It's not making it's not making you happy. It's making you envious in a way you're ashamed to talk about how you're envious now.

AlexI agree. Yeah.

MerlinAnd but the fact that and you'll get this through the season. I guess you've gotten this through the season, and you will very much get this in season two, is, you know, Carrie and Brooke are just so desperate to be noticed and appreciated for, like in Brooke's case, especially socially. And I think in Carrie's case, I mean, they both have it. Carrie especially, he wants people to know that he's a working actor. But there's so many wonderful Larry David-esque things where Brooke and Carrie feel like they've finally arrived, if just for an evening, and everything goes terribly.

and then like remember her wanting the i thought such a this is another great joke her dumb ohio friends that she doesn't talk to anymore she really wants to send them a photo of her on the red carpet with a um uh getty images watermark on it how funny is that that's really funny and then carrie does it and but then in in and it's very easy to make fun of it but you totally know that getty image watermark you know exactly what she's

Alextalking about that's so funny oh god and just watching them photoshop that over and with the

Merlinthing where like the security guard and and her taking pictures of each other on the fake red

Alexcarpet oh my god yeah it's so freaking funny i i absolutely participate in in things like that But now I don't want to get in trouble. The sort of calamity around TikTok right now feels very strange, sort of from both the perspective of, okay, this is, I mean, like Facebook is a company and a service that has had many iterations and different people in charge.

but I

MerlinIs it a Chinese company? Am I remembering that right? Wasn't that a big deal that it's

AlexYeah, it started off as like musically

Merlinand then Trump was gonna like ban it because it's Chinese or something. Wasn't that a thing for a week?

AlexYeah, it was a thing for like actually like a month and then it petered out because I'm sure he said something weird. Yeah, what happened to that? Yeah, I don't know. It's capitalism. I'm like, capitalism, baby! God, I'm sorry.

MerlinIt's really your skeleton key for every problem.

AlexOh, God. What about late capitalism? Am I right? No. Late capitalism isn't what people think of. It's insane. But it turns out, well, I mean, the instigays, like you said, it's not an excuse, but they do have their reasons. It's not post-Sunday.

Why are you wearing these? They're cozy. Oh, my God. It's so good.

MerlinHe's just trying. He just wants to be in a photo with them. Carrie, you're so funny.

AlexHe's so funny. What's happening? Kara's not being funny.

MerlinAgain, no spoilers, but in season two, one of the instagays is back and it's tremendous. Season two is also very fun. So you're up to, have you gotten to Chase's sort of pivot yet?

AlexIs this where he, so the penultimate episode is when the album is released on a plane and the revelation came comes out he's gonna go to the american cancer society yep yep yep uh and his dick was quinn bleep that out quinn bleep that out because that's actually one of the things that was bo i don't know the reveal was amazing it was incredibly sad incredibly moving and incredibly funny all at once i was laughing so sad oh my god it was

Merlinone of the most comedic same same thing happened to streeter's father

Alexthe hashtag is trending but but all of these people are just they want to to be loved and it's i think be part of something yeah and they don't lean away from that and they don't simplify it because okay again with with tiktok it is uh oh oh my point was like yes it is run by probably a very dangerous algorithm like all of these things but uh at least on most of the tiktoks or areas of

tiktok i've seen people are very aware about how fucked up the algorithm is how fucked up the um

Merlinthat's really good right isn't it my kids is amongst the many people who's like i have no idea how this knows so quickly and so well what i want to see like better than any other ones and

Alexthey also know that it is very common and very ridiculous the stuff that is banned and taken down and that isn't something that seems like it's arbitrary or capricious right right like people i mean even i i don't i don't think it's just because of this but i mean basic men who are just without a shirt and like you know they're clearly doing the thing of like i'm gonna talk into a mirror with my phone and like my shirt's off and clearly oh is that is that a thirst trap Alex is that what they call a thirst trap yeah but and they're always taken down it takes five

I mean well what what whoa whoa a man a shirtless man it just takes five people to flag that video even if Patrick Wilson is the guest he went to school with his cousin even if Patrick Wilson's cousin takes a video with his shirt off but I mean you know there's a thing where YouTube was taking down angry black people and angry queers and only black people and queer people were like why is it's like why isn't anybody talking about this but now people talk about it so much at least

from what i've seen on tiktok because who knows they know i like octopuses and other puss and the but it's just openly talked about and recognized so i don't i i i don't know everyone has their

Merlinreasons everybody's got their reasons that's for sure but you like you like the show right i i think

Alexi adore it you you said it wasn't going to be um like a uh halting catch fire in my wheelhouse oh

Merlini i was saying that like i feel like it's it's right on is this the thing i said about it's right on the edge of like don't look at a second screen like you could you could just have this on i just think there's so much like fairly subtle stuff going on visually you know that has a little bit pay off and and also just that i gotta say i mean i love i love all my kids but brooke brooke's physical comedy is very appealing to me like just how her how she deals with her body is just funny to me when she's on the treadmill with the black wig with her at first i didn't recognize her with

her blonde hair coming out from under the black wig oh my god she's gonna see 50 dicks this summer

Alexand there are so many also so many setups that uh i don't know if they're red herrings or MacGuffins because I always forget the difference. But you think it's going to you just think it's going to be one kind of show, not just because Carrie looks a little bit like Andrew Garfield. And what's his name from Arrested Development had a baby.

MerlinYou're right. I was going to say Adam Scott. But you're right. He does look like Andrew Garfield.

AlexAnd Adam Scott. Yes. Yes. He is like. And I don't know. You think it's going to.

MerlinThat streak is kind of an evil Abed thing, though. And he's so mean to the nice teacher.

AlexOh, my God.

MerlinWe haven't even talked about Justin Trudeau's apartment.

AlexOh, or Carrie's roommate.

MerlinOh, Carrie's situation.

AlexAnd he ends up being like a nice guy, like just dumb.

MerlinThere's an entire room for motorcycle boots. I love that his toilet is a motorcycle and his motorcycle is a toilet. The giant. I swear to Christ, I've seen that set in another show in the last year, and I cannot for the life of me remember what it was.

AlexHey, anybody out there?

MerlinJustin, the place where Molly Shannon and family are staying, that's purported to be Justin Theroux's apartment. Hey, tell me where I've seen that because I really feel like I've seen it somewhere.

AlexDid you know he co-wrote Tropic Thunder?

MerlinDid you know he wrote that?

AlexOh, no. What? Really?

MerlinJustin Theroux. I won't say Trudeau. Justin Theroux, he's in so many fucking things. Like, obviously, he's in Leftovers. You know, he was on Parks and Rec for the better part of his season. when he had slightly different, weirder hair.

AlexOh, yeah, that picture of him is very good, and I didn't recognize him at first.

MerlinThe famous Patrick Bateman business card scene in American Psycho, he's totally in that scene, along with Augie from The Aviator. Gavin Belson is in that scene. Justin, what else was he? Oh, he's the DJ in Zoolander with, like, the funky eye when they do the dance-off.

AlexI don't remember that, but it tracks.

MerlinOh, Zoolander's very good.

AlexYeah.

MerlinBut it really doesn't look good. Justin Theroux is in so many things. And he co-wrote Tropic Thunder, one of the few truly great films.

AlexThat is insane. That makes me very, very – well, talk about like an all-star writing and producing cast with – oh, God. With the other two, I don't – that's the other thing. Brooke and Carrie, they aren't – I mean, I didn't really look into – this is terrible. But I didn't really look into who plays Brooke other than I know she's in stuff. But whoever plays Carrie.

MerlinIs she? Okay. I don't know anything about either of them. Nothing.

AlexHe doesn't even have a Wikipedia. Really? Which is what made me be like, oh, this guy's nobody.

MerlinGod, he's so perfect for that role. I'm so glad you liked it. Isn't it nice to know there's still, like, in particular TV shows that are great that you can still discover? I think that's such a nice feeling.

AlexBut the, like you said, the visual comedy, just in terms of like the credits. Oh, God, when he does Call Me By Your Name. At first, I'm like, what's happening? And I...

MerlinWait, wait, what scene is that?

AlexIt is the close... Oh, have you not seen the movie Call Me By Your Name?

MerlinOh, sorry.

AlexThe coming peach movie.

MerlinYeah, okay.

AlexOkay, okay. Yeah, it's the gay peach movie. And I guess spoilers for the very end of Call Me By Your Name. the credits roll over a young kid child. Oh, where he's crying at the end. Yes, yes. With the same Sufjan Stevens.

MerlinThat's, yeah, in a very sad and moving scene, they go kind of baggy pants with this reference. It's really fucking funny. I do love the credits and that little, the abbreviated fleabag style abrupt ending to the little theme. I love that. I love that kind of stuff.

AlexIt's just, I'll say, I think it's a brilliant show. I mean, stick with it.

MerlinIt keeps being good. And if you enjoy the Molly Shannon character, I think you're going to continue to really enjoy the show and stuff that happens. Yes. Season, season two is, is really, really funny. God, the one I, they just put out two the other day and there's one where I don't think this is any great spoiler. It's almost, it can almost be a standalone.

So it's funny. It feels like such a Los Angeles or such a Hollywood show. And yet it's in New York. But I mean, I realized New York, Hollywood does not have any copyright on shitty people. But like there's one where they go, they end up, it opens with them going to, I guess it's called Soho House, but they go to this like fancy looking hotel and all these gorgeous people are there and it looks very LA and it's a church for like incredibly cool celebrities.

And Streeter says they got to join this church because Chase needs to get baptized and then he's going to make all these important connections in the church. And it's run by this incredible douchebag in the ripped up jeans and no shirt. And he has angel wings tattooed on his chest. It just keeps on coming. Chase is going to become the guest editor for one issue of Vogue. It's just, it's so fucking good.

AlexAnd if you're thinking, oh, God, a show about like essentially a Justin Bieber, that doesn't sound that fun. He's barely a character.

MerlinHe doesn't look like Justin Bieber till season two. He's a really sweet little kid is all.

AlexHe is. And that's all that's all he basically is. Like, oh, he wants to marry you at recess. Yeah, it's so cute. He's just a sweet little wholesome boy. And how long?

MerlinHow long is the album? It's got like nine. 19 minutes it includes like 6 remixes

Alexoh god Wanda Sykes

Merlinoh my god

Alexthe gays are back on

Merlinoh my god oh I was talking to Matt about this this morning what was I saying oh so you sent me the line was that the line that you sent me is that the scene it's from let me find it here I might have confused you by riffing about the wrong thing but you said no less than 56 times Is that from Shruthi talking to Brooke?

AlexUh, I, no, I think that's from...

MerlinWhere she used the R word on Twitter?

AlexYeah, yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, sorry, yes, the one in the E.

MerlinSo Justin Theroux has a chapel in his apartment to himself, including a cross that's actually a T with a syrup.

AlexBecause he believes in himself.

MerlinAnd so Wanda Sykes, Shruthi, right, She has to go through this giant binder to talk about all the shit from everybody's background that might come up. And I love the way Carrie just – I won't spoil the whole thing. But Carrie just goes off and he's like, I was working at a hotel. I broke into Christopher Maloney's hotel room and I smelled his underwear. And then I saw Christopher Maloney going into a different room so I don't know whose underwear I was smelling. And Strucy's like, how would anybody find that out? And he's like, okay, never mind.

AlexYou just told me three things that are extremely sad.

MerlinI know. And then, but then the thing of Brooke being like, I'm fine. I'm fine. She's like, well, you used the, and it's very, it's fun. I'm not going to say the word because I can't afford it. But, but the way Shruti says it, well, you use the word, our word a lot. And she's like, no, I didn't. She said, you used it in your first tweet.

AlexI wish I had saved my first tweet. It was probably that.

MerlinNo less than 56 times.

Alex56 times.

MerlinAnd then the way she always wraps each one of these by, so we deleted that account. She's like, oh. Anyway, the other two, it's great and it's fun and y'all should watch it. It makes you happy.

AlexI mean, it's no Ted Lasso. And I've been waiting to watch the second season with Maddie. And I know people have mixed feelings about it. But if you enjoyed the first season of Ted Lasso or you were a little turned off by your monster and you were turned off by the extreme level of wholesomeness with Ted Lasso, this is a good show that's like...

MerlinThere is some slightly challenging content. We did a little bit of fast over with my kid just because there is a large amount of masturbating in front of a computer.

AlexOh my god! What are you doing? Something I've been meaning to for a long...

MerlinGod, his roommate is so frustrating. Oh my god.

AlexI like it! Well, that's the thing.

MerlinI love when Carrie throws himself down the steps.

AlexOh, no.

MerlinOh, no.

AlexI will just say about this character, he is the typical, like, oh, is he gay or not gay stereotype? But then he just, he, I don't know. There's nobody, there's no villain in this story. Like, what, who's the villain here? Because even, I don't know, like, what's her name? Even she makes reference to her kids and like, yeah, these jobs are terrible. None of us like doing this.

I mean, what are you going to do? It's for your work.

MerlinWell, and the way like the inside of like one business day, I know they're having fun with this, but inside of one business day, the what's the name of this? My Gay Brother song. What's the name of the song?

AlexMy Brother's Gay. I think it's literally just My Brother's Gay.

MerlinAnd like there's like poor, poor, poor Carrie's walking around in his underwear where his dick falls out carrying a huge amount of toilet paper inside of the manager's office and with this entire boardroom full of ding-a-lings. And the way every time he comes in, the situation, the public's view of the video has completely reversed. And it's like, no, we're taking it down. We lost the gays. No, the gays love it. They think it's anti-evangelist.

Alexdid you well and did you catch all of the toilet paper jokes after that i don't know uh it just they'll say it involves gay sex and what what it it it doesn't last him months

Merlinoh you're talking about like a hot like hawthorne white

256. The Detroit Scenario

Show notes

Transcript

256. The Detroit Scenario

Show notes

Transcript

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