190. …yet

MerlinHello, friends, and welcome to a very strange episode of Dubai Friday. I'm Merlin.

AlexAnd I'm Alex.

MerlinAnd we need to talk with you about something today. I'm going to do my part first, and I have written it down. So if it sounds like it was written, it's because it was written. As you have probably most definitely seen, our pal and co-host Max has been accused of doing some pretty terrible things. Many of the allegations are quite serious. Plus, they're coming from a number of different people, including some folks that Alex has worked with at Cards. So first, yes, that is all very bad, not good.

In terms of a quick administrative matter that is germane to the show, a couple days ago, Max let us know that he's leaving due by Friday effective immediately. So that's why he is not here. But here is the thing. At least as we record this, Max has chosen not to address any of this stuff publicly. And up till now, neither have Alex nor I. For myself, I wanted to give him space to talk about this on his own terms and to say whatever he has to say in response. But holding that space open indefinitely feels wrong.

And frankly, it's been really stomach churning for all the reasons you would imagine. And so that's mainly what I wanted to talk to you about here today. And then Alex will talk. Obviously, it is not my place to tell Max what to do. But since I do consider him one of my best friends, I have rather pointedly counseled him to please address these allegations truthfully, in public and right now. If he believes the things that people are saying are just categorically untrue, I really wish that he would say that. If he feels that the things

people are saying are partly true, I also wish he would say that. And if they are, God forbid, all true, yes, I wish he would say that as well. But like I say, whether or when Max chooses to address this is not a thing over which I or anyone else can exercise any control. I think importantly, I want to point out that I am not in a position to try and answer these questions for him. I've heard the one side, and now I would really love to hear his side.

If I did have the position or power to answer these for him, I would have no desire to do so. It is not in my portfolio to guess, reckon, or infer what happened in his absence, in his silence. So I really feel like it's irresponsible for me to pipe in with my own hot takes. But with that said, I also feel like it would be cowardly and careless for me not to acknowledge what has been said and has so far been met with radio silence from our friend. The truth is that there's only

one person who can address these claims, and he's not on this show anymore. The other true thing I can say is that I really believe it would be beneficial to everyone, including Max, if he would choose to respond to this sooner rather than later. But while that stands as my friendly advice, firmly given. It is not my call to make only Max can make that call and I really hope he makes that call soon. The thing that I can see is regardless of what you've seen, what you've heard, how you feel, who you like or don't like

a lot of people are hurting about this right now including the people who deserve a response if they were wronged. They have that coming to them. On a somewhat personal note don't tell my other co-hosts, but doing this program with Alex and Max, all three of us, and the rest of the team, you know, Quinn and Cameron, everybody, our guests. It's been one of the unmitigated great joys of my life for over three years now, and it breaks my heart to see my friend choose to leave it under these circumstances. Little would make me happier

than to see him talk about this, make amends, and come back here if or when the time is right. I also happen to love him and his family and his company and his cat very much. So I am hopeful that he can find a way to straighten this out as soon as possible. Now, as for Dubai Friday as an ongoing concern, as you can probably imagine, we haven't talked a lot about this, but my sense is that Alex and I are still a very long way from figuring out what comes next for this program. I feel like it's a little early to declare it permanently damaged goods.

But let me be extremely clear. I completely understand that many people who have enjoyed the show in the past will have a very difficult time enjoying what we do here now in the future, what we've done in the past, any of it. And if you need to bounce, that is totally okay. If you don't want to hear the Alex and Merlin show, just because, I don't know, I swear I'm almost done. But you hope. Gauging the viability of a podcast is wildly low on the list for me right now. I am very concerned about my friend, and I feel terrible for anyone whom he has wronged.

I really hope that Max finds a way to step up and sort this out, and that anyone who is aggrieved gets the opportunity to have those grievances heard and addressed, and to the extent possible, where possible, fixed. So I'm still working out my role in this. That's the part that I'm still working on. And I know I have some role in this, and I don't want to reject the idea that I have not been—I don't want to reject the idea that I am complicit in people being harmed.

I need to sort out a lot of stuff and figure out what that is, and I will do my best once I can figure that out to talk about it in a way that is sane and fair and just. But I do—whatever that role has been, I do apologize for anybody who's been hurt. this is a terrible show about terrible things and we say the worst possible things but the idea of actual people having their lives actually damaged because of malfeasance or non-feasance on any of our part is, that sucks and it's wrong.

And I apologize for that. So to wrap, thanks for listening and thank you very much for hearing us out today. I'm sorry you didn't hear from us sooner. Well, when I say I'm sorry, what I really want to say is we've been trying to figure out how to do this and not fuck it up. And that's even like, it's only been, I guess two or three days since this latest tranche, but it's been really fucking hard. I'm sorry. I promised myself I wouldn't say that, but, um, I hate the idea that I've disappointed any of you with that silence.

And that's why it was important to me to do this today. Uh, I don't know if it would be satisfactory, but I don't control that. I, all I can say is, uh, I'm glad you're here. and thank you for listening. And now, who you've been waiting for, I'm going to pass the mic to the original breakout hit character. The reason that you've tuned in for all, the only reason you're hanging by a thread. You're hanging by a thread waiting for Alexandra Cox.

AlexOh boy. Hey, it's a breakout hit character, Alex Cox. If this sounds like it hasn't been written down, it's because it hasn't. I also want to just quickly mention that the reason Max wasn't on the show last week was unrelated to this. The things that I have been reading and seeing for the past two days have torn me apart. And obviously, this is not me. This is not about me.

And I have really nothing new or helpful to add. And I know how much I'm disappointing people and have disappointed people. And I think it's my job to figure out how I have disappointed them. former co-workers who I didn't even if we didn't work directly there's clearly something

I didn't see or experiences that I can't account for at all all I know is that you can see what Max has to say say on our discord which is free to join um you can also see what our you know our friend Anita posted online um and the reason that I haven't said anything isn't uh I'm repeating myself a little but

and I don't know what to do and then this is so uncomfortable and weird And while I didn't want to make it about us, guess what? It's our show. And that's what you're here for. Thank you again for being here.

My, I mean, all I can say is I've seen Max be a bad manager, but I've also seen so many bad managers. and to speak to Max's character as a human being I have nothing to say about these situations because only he can talk about them but from the way he's affected my life

it would be so much worse without him in it and my life would be a lot worse without Cards Against Humanity in it. And not because of the game or anything like that. I get to go to work every day and feel safe and cared for.

And realizing that not everybody got to feel that is what's breaking my heart. because I'm a fucking non-binary woman who uses they pronouns and I have a wife who is a man or transmasculine like all like all I'm a fucking weirdo and I am like we said last week I am by far not the most marginalized person in society and right now is not about by right now I mean what

is happening in the world, all of the systems that are being exposed that don't work, it's inevitable that I'm a part of them in some ways because I've benefited from being a white person my entire life. I've benefited from being safe, going to work, and never feeling like my sexuality or gender was questioned or brought up.

or marginalized. But the things that folks are saying Max did to them directly or by proxy isn't really anything I can...

There's really nothing I can say to make people feel better other than I want to keep showing up, And I hope some of you do too. And I want Max to take care of himself. And I want the people who have been wronged to heal. And I'm sorry for missing anything.

But I can't apologize for Max. That sucks. because I don't know if I... Because I don't know. Max can only speak for himself. And I'm worried about my friend Max. The end.

Speaker ACut all that out.

MerlinJazz break. So, what are we doing here? Where do we go with this? Do you want to do the drawings?

I don't know if I'm in the mood to do a drawing.

AlexI mean...

MerlinWe were going to do this thing that I did with my family that's really fun, which is, we might still do it, you never know. But there's this guy that did a TED Talk in Hull, England, and he's this very jolly English guy who's like, you said you didn't know how to draw. That's because I'm English. But I'm going to show you that it's sort of like when Kevin helped us with butts where you learn that it's very right brain versus left brain. I know, don't email me. But it's a very like, I am very left brained.

So I try to draw what I think something looks like rather than what it is. I've said this before. So this guy teaches you how to make a cartoon face with like nine lines and then have a show of expressions. Did you watch the video?

AlexYep.

MerlinPretty good, huh?

AlexI did the thing too. You did?

MerlinAw.

AlexI don't know if it was good. We can do the show.

MerlinI left my, oh fuck. I don't know, man.

AlexI mean, we can re, what was the name of the second person? In the talk.

MerlinI did it like three weeks ago. I don't recall. I thought we would do it live on the air, cut out the entire section where we're doing the drawings. We do it together and we have highlights.

That's where I was on Sunday. But anyhow. So, I don't know. What are we going to do with the show? We got to do a show, right?

AlexLet's draw Spike. I can't believe...

MerlinAre you fucking with me?

AlexYeah, Spike.

MerlinYou want to draw Spike?

AlexSpike, Pam, and Jeff.

MerlinDiggit, diggit, diggit, diggit challenge. God damn it. Soldier on. I got index cards. I got pencils. I got coffee. Probably gonna make me barf. Very, very upset tummy. Very upset tummy.

AlexAt this point, if people haven't had diarrhea thrown up or literally shit themselves, there's probably a problem.

MerlinYou're not American. That's not American. This is American, man.

AlexGo shit yourself. It's American. You fuck? You know, thank you for your service. Everyone should be a doodler now. I'm on your lawn.

Speaker AAlso, I'm the superintendent.

AlexHow badass would it be if, um, I know it wasn't in London, but, like, if in the Thames, like, everyone just started shitting in the river.

MerlinHello, hello, hello. What's all this thing?

AlexUh-oh.

MerlinWho's using the Thames as a loo?

AlexWhere's my black square coming out of my ass? It is. Oh, excuse me. Excuse me, arse.

MerlinWhere's me at the pills? okay this uh i guess guess we're doing this i this is very ill-advised welcome to what remains of do by friday challenge each other try not to shit yourself

Alexwell uh i we have also done the show without max and have done challenges without max

Merlinso let's see how this goes that's a really fucked up thing to say it's like well you know we've had Christmas without we've had Christmas without grandma before but now every Christmas is without grandma I'm off.

AlexYeah, it's okay.

MerlinShe's spirit spirit. I love you, Meemaw.

Speaker Awe're gonna leave the seat open for you

Merlinshe always loved to sit oh crap I need to sign back in I blasted my cash and now everything's... Blast my cash! No, no, everything got slow. Safari got crazy slow for me.

AlexOkay, all right. When I say incoherent things...

MerlinAnd so I had to... I reset all the caches.

AlexYeah, explain what blasted cash means, please.

MerlinYou're going to make me explain a Mabim Bam bit?

AlexYes!

Speaker AYes!

MerlinPeople don't know that. Okay, so if you're not familiar with Mabim Bam, that's a shame. As the boys themselves, those good, good boys like to mention, it really is a show about horses and ghosts.

Those majestic animals. And ghosts come up a lot. Talk about hard to draw. Didn't Justin have like a ghost hunter phase at one point?

AlexOh, the haunted doll.

MerlinOh, yeah, haunted doll. So anyway, I'm a fan. But anyway, there was, why am I explaining this bit? We should just, but there was, what was it? It was that, it was the idea of like trying to figure out, probably a Yahoo, where somebody was talking about something being haunted. And Travis, I think, was asking about, okay, what do you think their unfinished business on earth was? And I think it became the idea that there's this ghost who's worried about the contents of his browser history.

Speaker AHe's speaking from the grave. Blast my cash! Blast my cash!

AlexWhich is why I'm wondering why you...

MerlinWell, because I went to an internet website after searching the internet for how to speed up Safari. And it was all pretty Pinocchio third grade shit, but I thought, why not piss on a spark plug? And one of the things they suggested was to go into command comma, privacy, manage website data, blast my cache! and they say remove all. And that kills all your cookies. It kills all the cash. Because really, I mean, at least I think this is a very unmodern way to fix this problem

because I think a lot of these problems have been mostly solved. But as somebody, you know that dumb cliche of when you've lost something, you always find it in the last place you look, as opposed to people who keep looking after they found something, I guess. The truth, I can't believe how many times, well, at least two or three times, I've had my computer go totally tits up. and it wasn't until I did the last dumb thing a Mac user has to do. You will have to do this someday, especially if you're a designer. Somewhere on your computer, you have a corrupted font.

It is absolutely, when I say the last place you look, I don't mean procedurally. I mean, why the fuck would I be looking at my fonts to keep my computer working? And it's the craziest fucking thing. If you go into font book, font book, font, font, font story, font story three, you go in and you look at your fonts and run the diagnosticator on it, you might be very surprised and alarmed to learn that you have so many duplicate fonts, but also some that may be corrupted and that can cream your computer and your genes.

AlexOkay, real admin moment here. This is actually something I do periodically. Maybe it's because people have emailed me fonts in the past.

MerlinThat's how they get you. That's how they get you. Now you got hicked.

AlexOh, like when all of those companies were bravely reaching out to tell me how we stand together in the midst of coronavirus.

MerlinOh, my God. Now more than ever, right?

AlexNow more than ever. Oh, that's so nice. They sent like decks. I'm like, what? What? why? Like, help us improve. Here, here's my PowerPoint.

MerlinYou're talking about, like, you get email from the president of United Airlines saying, we're here for you, and also here's a PowerPoint. Is that what you're talking about?

AlexYes. Yeah, you didn't get any of those? Oh, I gotta find some.

MerlinOh, I got, I'll tell you, I was really, Oscar Munoz sent me so many nice emails, and then he had, a long time ago, announced that he was resigning, and then when I got my next email from United Airlines, which I do not fly anymore, it was from a different CEO and I was like oh I hope Oscar's well now more than ever Oscar Munoz that's not Oscar from the office okay so we are going to a TEDx talk called why oh god this is so fucking turns out

why people believe they can't draw and how to prove they can pipe Graham Shaw pipe TEDx hull one word TEDx

Alexwhat's the difference between ted and tedx merlin that's a very good question did you go to high

Merlinschool the no no no no it's not a trick question it's not a trick question but like uh you know there's when you get the the people playing the foots ball you have a varsity and you get a junior varsity imagine like you know like like i'm i'm the third and there's merlin senior merlin junior role in third. Imagine you had varsity, junior varsity, and third varsity. TEDx is a regional offshoot of TED where local thought leaders

come out and, I don't know, they have balloons and candles and shit and talk about your true self or whatever. I kid. I like a TED. I thought this guy was kind of charming. How are we going to proceed with this? 31 million views! Not too much!

AlexOh, I'm seeing, this is weird. I'm seeing 32 million and 8,032 views.

MerlinThis is the thing Gruber talked about. It's very confusing. No, seriously, with the way they do thumbs up, I agree with him. The way they do thumbs up, thumbs down is very, I think it's very misleading from a UX standpoint.

So how are we doing this? Do we just do one of these, put the audio in, or what are we doing?

AlexYeah, let's do... Where's a good one?

MerlinSee, but people can't really play along at home because there's no faces here.

AlexShould we just have... Should we just pipe in the ending and show our drawings?

MerlinMy drawings are at home.

AlexWe can redraw. We can redraw.

MerlinOh, should we do Skippy? Just do the last one?

AlexYeah, yeah.

MerlinAll right, cool.

AlexLet's go.

MerlinWhen you find it, give me a timestamp. two factor good okay when are we going to get a third when are we going to get a third or fourth factor what's going on why are we stuck at that you know you put a man on the moon but you can't put metal in the microwave when do I get my third factor or fifth or sixth factor I need more factors based on factors

Alexalright I think I've almost got it seriously why I know why they don't want us to scrub frames because

Merlinthen you're not watching as long

Alexthey're already getting like 12 bucks a month from me what more do you want like what more of my soul can i give you google

Merlinlet me give you a little piece of uh crazy irony and non-obvious ui um it is easier for me well it's not easier to scrub in the ios youtube youtube app it's horrible to to scrub because the thumb is so fucking tiny.

Oh, we've got to also talk about the CubeLight app. Holy shit. Have you used it much yet? Nope. I want to hear about this, though. We're going to hear about it. Don't worry about that.

AlexOr this voltage issue. That's very voltage issue.

MerlinOh, my USB-C problem? Yeah, did you fix it? No! I can't get... Save it for the show. Shave it for the show. But what I'm going to say to you, there's another true thing today, hello, is that it's easier for me to do a TiVo-like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, jump forward, jump back, on my fucking phone than it is to do on my Apple TV. Do you know what I'm talking about?

AlexNo.

MerlinFirst of all, I'm back on the YouTube app on iOS because I'm whatever it's called, porn red or whatever. I buy this, the no ads version.

AlexThey change it every week.

MerlinDo you know, so you know that there's, you get, if you click on the video that's playing, you see, I believe, three pieces of interaction. You've got the play button, play pause button. You've got the previous video, next video button. Did you know that if you tap on the far right or far left, it jumps forward a few seconds or back a few seconds?

AlexYes. And you can even change that in the settings and it's beautiful.

MerlinFuck me gently. I did not know that.

AlexI've got it set to five seconds or maybe 10 seconds. Where's my, I don't know.

MerlinGod, you should see me trying to watch Veronica Mars. It's such a horror show. Syracuse has talked about this again recently, but it's such a fucking, nevermind. He's right though. The remote on Apple TV is a fucking diving board. It's crazy. It's like trying to use a fork to fix a car. It's mental.

AlexWell, it's just a hobby. So we'll just, we're not going to put any effort into how, as Google. We're not going to put anything into this hobby.

MerlinHi, I'm Tim Apple, and we're still figuring out what it is we care about now. So where am I going? What am I looking at here?

AlexAll right, we...

MerlinDo we have to retire Max's bits, too?

AlexI never thought they were funny. God damn it!

MerlinYou got the good one again. You win this one, Cox!

AlexI'm just thinking about an army. Well, I'm not going to talk about an army of cocks yet, but let's just go to timestamp. Army of cocks. 9-16.

MerlinIs that that band that did that song, Crucified?

AlexNope, nope. That's just a phrase that I said.

MerlinThat's Army of Lovers, I believe. I'm crucified, crucified by my sea. I'll put it in notes. It's really good and super, super queer. You'd love it. Looks good on you. Crucified. Okay.

AlexHave you heard of them? I think they're a little gay.

MerlinWait, do you know the band Army of Lovers?

AlexI have heard of them, but no, I don't know.

MerlinOh, the video is a fucking... Okay, after show. Please remind me if we're doing an after show. You know, I don't usually do this kind of bullshit. And I... Oh, fuck. I don't even know if I should say this. We should figure out a way that the people who actually listen to the show tell us what they think we should do. That's what we should do.

AlexYeah.

MerlinNot that that will be the deciding factor, but I would love input from our pals about what we should do next.

AlexYeah. And you know what? You can find... We have a Dubai Friday email address that isn't the shit show that...

MerlinOh, God. It's not the one where people get their REI receipt sent?

AlexNo, no. We'll put that in show notes. I think it's like DBF. I want to say it because I know some of you are listening.

MerlinLet's just super not, right, this second.

AlexYeah, let's think on that.

MerlinYou have to make it a little bit difficult.

AlexYeah, yeah. I don't think you want to bring this on yourself.

MerlinLet's draw Skippy. Tell me where to go.

AlexFull disclosure, I don't know if this one's name is Skippy. 916.

MerlinWell, okay, so before you were born, back when there was this thing called magazines, there was an ad that was in so many magazines, especially kids' magazines and comics, I want to say, which was for something like the famous artist school of Poughkeepsie or whatever title. and it was basically like hey draw this character and it was usually a cartoon character in profile draw this character and send it to us and we'll evaluate it to tell you whether you are likely to have a great career

going to the whatever joke name

AlexI said that's fucked up

Merlinwell you can as a grown ass person imagine what that was which is a lead generation and guess what everybody drew Skippy great. Hey, nice turtle, Alex. Come to Poughkeepsie. You drew Skippy.

AlexI'm upset by these children's magazines. I don't know.

MerlinOh, no, no. Well, I mean, you know, it was like basically Carnival Midway game level grift going on in every single ad. Sea Monkeys. They don't have briefcases. It's extremely disappointing. You know, Big Monkey's not going to tell you this. They're brine shrimp, buddy. Those are brine shrimp. And they do not have, they do not, unless you choose to buy them a house, they don't have a house. They do not commute. And the mom does not have an apron because it's a shrimp. They don't make aprons for shrimp. And if they, you know what? That's very racist to me.

I don't know if they make aprons for shrimp.

AlexI haven't looked into the shrimp fashion community lately.

MerlinAnyway, I'll circle back to that. We should do this.

Speaker AYeah, let's do it.

MerlinWe got to get this goddamn episode up before we get killed. Yeah. Wait, where's my cursor? What's happening? What's happening? Oh, jebus.

AlexRemember, people also aren't expecting this until tomorrow. So it's...

MerlinWell, it's going up today, pally.

AlexYep.

MerlinOh, goddammit. What's happening? Did my Bluetooth die? Let me get another mouse. Hang on. Stand by.

AlexYou're the Merlin man who loves computers.

Speaker AOh, bless my cat.

AlexMan, talk about being disappointed by people. First the solar keyboard goes, now a mouse. I feel like this is a ploy. And now we're just going to hear clicks all the time. I wasn't... What? Don't listen to that part, Merlin.

MerlinOkay. Pro tip. Pro tip. Have two mice.

AlexBatteries?

MerlinNope, nope, nope, nope, nope. I have two mice and I have a repeating reminder to charge them every two weeks and swap them out.

AlexSo what failed?

MerlinI got it. I got it. What? I always got a standby mouse. Okay? Listen.

AlexBut why did it die if you have it on a recurring, as a recurring task? I thought you were like OmniFocus.

MerlinWell, sometimes Bluetooth just decides to shit the bed and it becomes totally unresponsive. But my very large Apple keyboard still works. So enough of this wallowing in hypocrisy. Let's draw Skippy. Where am I going?

Alexnine minutes 16 seconds and I'll count

Merlinlet me know when you're there and I'll count us in let me verify that I got 1715 okay I just heard the words carry on

Alexoh let me

Merlinwhat did you just hear

Alexoh one moment

Merlinhe's kind of doing a thing with his arms he's doing his arms like this

Alexdo you think that's a home well I guess it's a what i see it more as an arthur doyle than a i thought you were calling him sherlock holmes um any what no the guy did you not did you not okay what is he doing with this oh no i think

Merlini'm having i think i'm having some kind of a neurological incident am i having an episode

Alexis this an episode is this coming out yes this is the episode i have a that's what she said I do think it's interesting that Chicago is a bad place for weather. It really is. We like to pretend. It's not.

MerlinWhat the fuck are you talking about?

AlexIt's really bad.

MerlinOh, you're talking about your shitty connections.

AlexOh, yeah. I thought.

MerlinCan you talk to your landlord about that? Are you using internet in the house on a regular basis?

AlexWell, not just myself, but the other tenants are also using internet, which could be a problem.

MerlinHoly crap. Is Matchy torrenting something?

AlexGod.

MerlinPeople do that.

AlexWhat's torrenting?

MerlinI just heard him say so. Okay. You know what? It doesn't matter. Let's just go. Tell me when you're ready. Three, two, one, go. You do it.

AlexAll right. Three. I am at 920 now.

MerlinOopsie doopsie. 920. And he's putting his hands out like he's making accordion hands?

AlexYes. See, I thought you were saying that he looked like, this is such an exciting show. I thought you were saying that he looked like Holmes, as in Sherlock Holmes. And I'm like, no, I don't see it.

MerlinYou're not just beating a dead horse. I feel like you're kind of beating a dead horse with a different dead horse. That majestic creature. If you want your mother to come back, touch Dorsey.

Speaker AOkay. All right. Three. He's a torso horse.

MerlinThey had to blind him because he was so mean to the other horses. Welcome to the latest Mbim Bam tribute podcast. Canceled by Friday.

Oh, that's so sweet.

AlexThis is sweet.

MerlinSo we're looking at photos of older ladies looking very happy. Alex, is there a drawing coming?

AlexI thought there was. No, there is. Okay, let's fast forward through the picture.

MerlinOkay, okay.

AlexNine. Wait, wait, wait. Thirteen. How was I so wrong?

MerlinWhat are we going to do with this?

AlexThirteen. All right, let's skip to thirteen. Twenty-five.

MerlinThere's a part of me that wants to leave this all in because it's so bad.

AlexI need little Sebastian now because I already have a pile of dead horses.

MerlinI need a little one. I don't understand. What's the big deal? I've only cried twice in my life.

Alex13, 25, 3, 2, 1.

MerlinWait. 24. I can get to 24. Okay, go ahead.

AlexAll right.

MerlinHere we go. Okay, is that good?

AlexOkay.

MerlinOkay.

AlexSo, thanks I hate it.

MerlinYeah, no, mine sucks. But...

AlexNo, I... Well, I mean...

MerlinIf we had some cocktails, I'd probably be better.

AlexHold on. I'll take a picture of this.

MerlinBoop, boop, boop. Damn it.

AlexAnd I'll send this to you. I'm... Press.

MerlinOkay, clicking, clicking.

AlexI hate how on iOS now we say clicking instead of tapping.

MerlinTapping is for guitars. Why not just select? Blades are for skating. Snowy out here.

AlexOh, God, it's so upsetting.

MerlinDo you remember that one?

AlexOh, have you not gotten my guy?

MerlinBlades are for skating, you dingus. Let's see here. no i don't have a single criticism of that well done alessandra it's a tough week for everybody did you do that with your normal writing hand or your feet or how what did you do for that

Alexno mine's mine's bad too don't worry well uh as graham shaw has just told me i have drawn

MerlinAlbert Einstein. Yeah, well, I can kind of see it in mine. He's got some serious neck issues. All right, we'll do the challenge.

AlexOkay, here's my problem with this talk and with most talks. It's fun to sit down and do basically an arts and craft project and say look you can do this thing it's easy now that you know just believe in yourself it's follow your bliss that's a bridge too far for me

Merlinso you don't like the just to understand you don't like the like

Alexyou you you did this therefore now that well his whole premise is see look if you draw these simple lines, you can make something and you can draw. Turns out-

MerlinAnyone can cook.

AlexIt's very weird. It sure is a TEDx talk.

MerlinYeah. I mean, I do feel like things like this for the right person at the right time in life can be extremely valuable. One thing that's neat about this is you could give this to a five-year-old kid and they would do probably just about as good a job as you or possibly better.

AlexOh, 100% better.

MerlinWell, just in the sense that, again, the way it feels, and I always want to recommend this book. I cannot get my kid to read it. It sucks. But it's called Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. And that book will blow your goddamn mind. If you're like me and can't draw a straight line, I think we must have talked about this. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, anyway, but it's great. One of the exercises that really sticks in my mind is to get you sort of unglued from your idea of what representation. representative drawing means,

which is to grab a magazine and start reading it upside down, flip through it upside down until you find a face that you don't recognize and draw that face upside down.

AlexOh, that's good.

MerlinAnd when you flip it over, it's going to blow your bean. Because in my case, because I am in the parlance, very left-brained, which means that I am right-handed or whatever. Again, I don't know the physiology. But I do know that part of the thing that hangs me up is I'm like, what does a box look like? I'll draw the thing that looks like box. Instead of making a bunch of lines in space that imply a box in a way that's much more effective than letting the logic side of logic portions of my brain be the one that moves the pencil.

Really good book.

AlexThat all makes sense and is lovely. But why do you think that helps you? Or what insight did you get from that?

MerlinWell, I can think of at least two, because there's always two things with me. One is the insight that, well, I think sometimes reframing or providing context for something can be extremely useful. Because, and this is true for me, it's true for, I hope, for John Roderick. It's true for lots of different people, which is like you get a really firm idea in your head about how the world is. and how the world operates and what your role in it is and what you're capable of. And I feel like, you know, that's something that gets you. All of the years of school that most of us have had have in some way been there to set our expectations for the world, not always for the best.

It isn't really so much like what we're capable of, but it's like what the risks are if we fuck up. And that's just a belief of mine. Not everybody, not all the time. Teacher lives matter. But what it can do is you give context to something and say, like, well, what that guy's saying, and I think is really valuable, is, like, you know, you're not an artist now. It's been a 15-minute talk. But you do now know that you can do better at something than you would have predicted. I think that's really useful.

And I think there is some use in then, like, using that context to realize that you may be able to shake loose some other things about your own expectations. But you can really take it too far, and it's not difficult for that to quickly, often quickly turn into a self-parody about how something works, and now you might be worse off than before. And, you know, like there's the thing people say about, like, say people who have electric car and space companies, where it's like, well, just because you really were good at one thing, like, if you've been good at five very different things, then maybe you are a polymath.

but just because you got lucky once does not qualify you to design voting machines, for example, right? The expertise in this area is not applicable. Just because you succeeded, I don't want to be unkind, but there are a lot of shitheads in Silicon Valley who got lucky and were in the right place at the right time and now feel like they are the thought leaders and are capable of doing these things. Just because you can make an electric car that's viable doesn't mean that you should be rescuing children from a cave.

Maybe.

AlexJust maybe.

MerlinWe got to get out of here and get this edited.

AlexNo, no, I know. Everything you said there was so smart and insightful.

MerlinI should do a TEDx talk.

AlexWay more than a 15-minute talk. Oh, ho!

MerlinWell, uh, Merlin, Merlin, no listen. Hello, and welcome to TEDx Sunset District Edition. I'm going to teach you how masturbation is transformative.

AlexOkay, there's a talk this guy gave in 2011 called Scared Shitless.

MerlinOh, God, come on. No, please, can we not?

AlexYeah, no, no, no. I'm having a bad day.

Speaker AWe're going to do it.

MerlinNow this will never come out.

AlexAfter watching this yesterday and watching a few TED Talks. Oh, yeah. Oh, I watched your talk again yesterday. It's one of my favorite. favorite things it's there are note cards and a macbook air it's i i i don't know i've asked you this before but i truly don't remember your answer do you think i'm left-brained or right-brained um there are other options yep yep am i am i fredo or am i michael i think you're backbrained

MerlinThank you for listening very much. Thank you for hearing us out. You'll be hearing more from us somehow at some point. God willing, it is hoped that you'll hear from Max. But we want to keep doing something, and we'll be talking to you all about it. Any closing remarks, Alexandra?

AlexHey, everybody on the Discord. And I know that Discord isn't for everybody, which is fine.

MerlinI've been there almost three times.

AlexYeah, I know. The community there is something that you have built. And I hope that you're really proud of it.

MerlinYeah, for real. I'm so glad that people have made that into what it is. It's really cool.

AlexJust watching your thoughtfulness and insight yesterday meant a lot to me.

MerlinWho are you talking to right now?

AlexI'm talking to the audience.

MerlinOh, good. Okay. Well, I was worried that was getting weird. Yes. And thank you for your reports back to me about people being surprisingly happily.

AlexAnd by surprisingly nice, I mean, because it's the internet.

MerlinNo, but no, like what you described to me was like, it's, I don't know. I don't know if we've earned a break or a chance, but it's nice that people are around. And you know what? thank you on the one hand to the people who have really not deluged me with demands that I couldn't supply until today. But thank you also to a handful of friends who've contacted me and

who I have contacted back to say yes, it is coming. But thank you to the friends who've and acquaintances who've contacted me to say, hey, do the right thing. I appreciate that. I'm sorry it couldn't have been sooner. Maybe it could have been sooner, but it wasn't sooner. Especially who? Who do I want to thank? I want to especially thank, well, let's just say R. You know who you are. We've met at things. And thank you for your note. And all best to you and your friend. You'll know who you are. Thank you very much. I appreciate,

I'm very grateful for the people who haven't given up on me yet.

Alexthere's there's well uh to to circle back uh there are people who succeed because they are in the right place at the right time and that was me very much and i'm aware of it and i know how much i've benefited from i know how much i've benefited has benefited i know the benefits

MerlinIt is the past tense of benefit, and I think it is a verb.

AlexAnd that's why I think I would like it to be present tense. I know how much I benefit from this show.

MerlinOh, you're looking like for the Espanol, like benefitondo. Like it's an ongoing thing, like bicicletarce to turn into a bicycle.

AlexI hope so. I hope some people stick around. But also I understand if you leave.

MerlinI do too. I really, I love doing this. I love, I have loved doing this. And anyway, it's unseemly in the midst of gestures broadly. for us to bust too much of a gut about ourselves, but I'm totally with you, pal. And, you know, as long as we're here, I'll say it. I love you and yours very, very much, and you have been so great to me and my family.

AlexOh, no, don't do it.

MerlinNo, no, it just means the world to me, and doing stuff with you is a joy, and you're practically part of my family. No, don't do it. I like you better than my family.

AlexOh, don't do it. I definitely like Bando more than my cat. Don't tell him.

MerlinHe goes like this. He goes, turns his head a little bit. You should see our cat. We finally, our cat is so fucked up right now. We have, the poor fucking cat is such a grotesque on the best day, but has not been professionally groomed in a very, very, very long time. We don't know how to do it. And we're trying a little bit every day to like pay down the hair debt. and like my wife has been so like dog-catted about this she really just sticks with it and so right now the cat looks like a convertible

where you know she's, you've seen her shaved you've seen her unshaved, but right now she really does look like a Star Wars creature or like Appa, like from Avatar, she's so fucking thick, but underneath that is the same six pounds of cat so when I say she's a convertible she's been kind of shaved very erratically from her neck to just like a third of the way down her back and so it looks like she's emerging from a second cat she's such a monster

I'm always afraid to ask whether or not

Alexthe cat is dead

Merlinjoin the club well I mean as long as I keep finding the pee and the poop I'll know I'll know

Thank you.

Show notes

Transcript

190. …yet

Show notes

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