176. Wolverine Top Job

AlexThis is Do By Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Merlin Mann, Alex Cox, and Max Temkin. This week's challenge, put a bag within a bag.

I get to sit in my nice chair today, my tiny, tiny chair. I like the tiny chair.

MerlinWhat does that mean? What does that mean, Alex? What does that mean, tiny chair?

AlexIt doesn't need...

MerlinI don't tell you what I'm sitting in when we sit down.

AlexI know, because you're not very... I want to know that you're comfortable every time we sit down to record.

MerlinOkay. I'm comfortable every time. I'm having a coffee.

AlexOh, that's a cough. That's a cough right there. A cough with your cough. Me?

MerlinNo, it's just not. My lady friend has a theory. She thinks we might, when we were sick as a family, she thinks that might have been the coronavirus coming in.

AlexOh.

MerlinBecause my pet theory that I've had, I think is going to turn out to be true, which is sort of, it's a huge issue right now in Washington as they find more and more people who are sick, is that my theory all along has been like, hey, you fucking idiots, like figure out how long somebody's communicable, even if they're asymptomatic. So I think there's been a lot. I bet we will find out there have been walking wounded for weeks.

AlexYeah, I can't imagine.

MerlinWhat I'm saying is I don't think a bunch of people got off a plane from China, went, and that's how it all started.

AlexJust in the airport.

MerlinGoogle Docs updated their look a little bit.

AlexOh, I wonder if it's on the iPad. Let me check this out. What? What's so good?

MerlinWhy don't you just use a computer like a person?

AlexBecause I don't have a computer like a person. This is, hmm. Nope, not for me.

MerlinThere's a little, what is this? There's the move to a folder button is new. The show document outline icon is new.

AlexI thought you didn't enjoy those kind of things. This is great content. But, you know, the, like, hold down command Q to quit Chrome. I mean, I'm off the Chrome now, but yikes.

MerlinGood, good. Here's what I believe in, and this is a big, big issue for me. I think this goes to lots of things in life, including how we deal with the coronavirus, which is that I like to see positive movement in the right direction, whether that is Apple getting something right more than once in a row. I like to see things in that direction. If I see an update in Google Docs, then I have to be honest with you, that gives me a little bit of hope that maybe someday Google Docs will actually be usable on iPad, for example.

So it's when things don't change at all that I get a little worried. But then you get those apps where, like, especially on iOS, you get these updates that, this is old news, but you get those updates that are really just about making you use the app the way they want. and recommend it to people and all that kind of stuff. Don't like those kinds of changes. No like.

AlexOh, you like OmniFocus.

MerlinHow are you doing?

AlexI am doing well.

MerlinI do like OmniFocus.

AlexThis is the first time that I've been in the office for five, no, six, I don't know. Thank you to all of our nice listeners who came up and said hello to me at the Chicago Comics and Entertainment Expo. that was very very nice and no one was weird good job wow that that sounds nice it was very nice oh man i'm just very i need to stop thinking about the election i need to stop thinking oh

don't worry it'll be fine stop worrying about it so much it's that's that's interesting coming from you hmm yeah i mean what are you gonna do vote i don't know well i can't oh i can't do it yet Do you want to share who you voted for so it won't cause any controversy whatsoever and won't make anybody on the internet mad

MerlinYou know Max this is all Max is going to talk about he's going to be sad he's putting out fires he's going to be in a mood we're going to end up talking about who he's mad at in politics so like I'm going to be on that let's talk about the happy things I'm going to be on that Doctor Who podcast you were on

AlexThe moment. Oh, oh my gosh. I love, oh, that was really, really fun. And it's really well produced.

MerlinI got to pick, I got to pick the, the, my, my, my scene. Oh, I'm so excited. Well, I had two, I had two candidates and they were both available and they're both from day of the doctor. I'm going to do, um, of course. So the only one there were, there were, he said the only one that's been taken from day of the doctor is the fourth doctor appearance. Who knows? Um, but the two that I picked, my number two pick was No Sir, All 13. And my number one pick is Be a Doctor. So I get to talk about Be a Doctor. Oh, oh my.

That is such a good scene. And the way he's lit, the way Matt Smith is lit, and Clara starts crying and like, you know, remember who you are, and like, I don't know if I remember, and he like moves forward with his head cocked like, with that weird lighting. It's so beautiful.

AlexOh wait, is this, oh I might be wrong.

MerlinSo this is where

AlexThis is the beard.

MerlinThe war doctor is about to set off the moment.

AlexOh, yes. Okay, yeah.

MerlinAnd he and Rose are there, and there's a big red button. And then zoom, zoom. Then 10 and 11 show up. And, like, you shouldn't have to do this alone. And he's like, get out of here. Get out of here, dicky-bo.

Speaker AAnd then they're talking about it.

MerlinAnd then he looks at Clara, and Clara is, like, very upset. And, like, I never – I knew you did this, but, like, I didn't know it was, like, you that did it.

Alexand you know i'm saying like oh yeah right it well it threw me off because i i feel like i just kind of erased clara in my mind because she's off with uh aria in the tardis somewhere spoilers i guess um but now i i know what you're talking about like oh and so so but there's the so like

Merlinshe's getting very upset because she's like you know this is the implication is i i didn't think this was something that you you you know i can't imagine you your incarnation doing this and um And they're talking about who they are, you know, the, what does he call, what does she call them? There's the warrior and the whatever, and then like, well, then who am I?

AlexLike the soldier, the, yeah, yeah.

MerlinYeah, that's it. The soldier who couldn't have succeeded on that day. And anyway, and then you get to 11, and he's like, well, then who am I? And I don't know what I should do. And she says, you do what you always do, be a doctor. And you said that there was a promise that you made. And that's the first time we learned what the promise was. Never cowardly or cruel.

AlexYes.

MerlinNever cowardly or cruel. Never give up. Never give in. Isn't that good?

AlexI know.

MerlinAnd then they're all so each themselves when they all have the realization. They're like, oh, my God. I've been working on this for hundreds of years. I just realized this. And Ten starts jumping around like he does. And Eleven is doing things with his hands. And the war doctor is like, oh. You know. yeah what does he say i hope the ears are a bit less prominent this time

Speaker Aand then he turns into christopher eccleston it's so fun oh god i love that tv show so much

Alexi have watched oh wow i've watched too much of that show other than golden girls in futurama i think I've re-watched Doctor Who more than any other show it's just really huh yeah it well it I don't know it scratches an itch scratching is a weird word it it just hits something like it's a button that isn't hit often in my brain and it's nice to have it poked at yeah I mean that made

Merlinsense well i mean there are people who talk about for example you know when you're in the right state of mind and i don't know maybe you're having your cycle or something or maybe just because it's christmas not no no i'm just saying like sometimes you are one feels vulnerable and sometimes a hallmark commercial will make you cry even though you're a grown-ass person and i i'm not i'm not here to say that dr who is just a series of hallmark commercials but like in an example of that day of the doctor one i don't i don't recognize every single reference from that

Alexi mean well some of them are from the like 70s so but that's the beauty of the show and that's

Merlinwhat the thing about stephen moffat is like he say what you will about the guy i think i really believe that he genuinely loves that franchise and um i think we will remember him for having done some interesting stuff with like using his encyclopedic you know fan knowledge to to pick up threads that other people hadn't but so the only point being that like in that episode there's tons of stuff i'm sure i'm not getting i mean like i didn't recognize oh in the museum as they're walking through for like whatever an eighth of a second you know you see river song's shoes or

whatever like there's all these things there's all these references and like zygons hadn't even been around in a pretty long time right i think they're very much like a 70s oh yeah very much like a 70s bad guy. Max is here. I am on Skype.

AlexI am on Skype.

MerlinI am on Skype. So I'm excited to get to do that. And then I was on a podcast that just came out today where we talked about HomeKit.

AlexOh!

MerlinHomeKit and Apple Punditry. Connected is no too early. Icon Garden. What?

AlexI'm trying to think of what podcast you were on today.

MerlinOh, it's called The Icon Garden.

AlexOh! The Icon Garden. I've never heard of that. I'm excited.

MerlinAw, you're nice.

AlexMax is on Skype. Max is on Skype. Max is on Skype. I'm Skype on Max at... I'm not going to say his name. We're not going to do that anymore. Not going to say a personal email address on a podcast. Nope. That was... That was bad.

MerlinI can't believe that turned out weird.

AlexI don't know why I would have.

MerlinDid you make your own hand sanitizer?

AlexWhat? Oh, no.

MerlinMr. Gregg posted a link to this. I'm going to try making my own hand sanitizer today. Use vodka, aloe vera, lavender, tea tree oil, and then you put it in a little squeezer.

AlexThat sounds... I don't know why I just wouldn't...

MerlinSomebody please connect Max. He keeps texting me. Is Max... Max is here. Max is not here. 9-12.

Alexlet's see oh man we got so close you did it though no you called early i oh i know i know i was just hoping for a 9-11 situation you know because otherwise i'd forget what

Merlinoh because you forgot you forgot about 9-11 i forgot i forgot oh yeah yeah do you have any

Alexliquids uh hello hello you got a monster drink what are you drinking uh oh today just just my pink piss water and a Diet Coke. And some water. Hello. Yes, you are here.

MaxI'm recording on my new computer. I'm making sure everything is working. This is the doctor standing by.

AlexOh, the real computer.

MerlinThis is the doctor standing by. No, sir. All 13. All 13. And then the eyes. He does the big switch. And then they see the eyes. And you're like, oh. I'm finished. I'm finished every time.

AlexYeah, everywhere. Well, I mean, it's bigger. I'm not going to finish that joke.

MerlinIs that a vagina joke?

AlexNo, no. Yeah, yeah, it was. Yeah, it was. Are you all right?

MerlinWhat's the matter? What's going on?

AlexI'm backing up.

MerlinYou got good sleep? What's the problem? You got good sleep?

AlexI think that's a, well, here's the thing. I didn't get good sleep for five days. And so there's that sleep debt that happens. Oh, yeah. So I think I'm just kind of in denial about it. and slowly, slowly getting back on track. So I need a 13-hour sleep cycle.

MerlinYeah. What was that book called, My Year of Sleep, or whatever it's called? I still think about it all the time. I just want someone to, you know what I'm talking about? There's that novel that a very interesting woman wrote about the novel where the doctor wants the doctor to put her to sleep for one year.

AlexYes, I haven't read it yet.

MerlinI've been thinking about this before I heard about that book, but I say this to my family all the time, which I'm sure makes them very happy. I go like this, I go, I make my late mother-in-law's noise.

Speaker AI go, ah!

MerlinI go, ah! I wish somebody would just knock me out for 30 contiguous. If I got a 30 night sleep, I feel like I'd be pretty rejuvenated. And I'd be good for a couple months after that, probably.

AlexI might be happy. Finally. Finally.

MerlinFinally. I don't know, man. I got some pretty good bags. Woof.

AlexAll right. Max, are you here?

MaxI'm here.

AlexOh, okay. Oh, hi, Max. Oh. How are all the fires?

MaxThat's fine.

AlexJust slowly petering, petering out.

MerlinSo that's fun. Should we talk about other things we're happy about?

AlexYeah, I'm quite happy. Just tired. Yeah. I got a Pokemon notebook today that I know I'm never going to use. I've got a lot of bags. Who's on it? Well, one has Snorlax. Okay. And the other one has Pikachu, but the Pikachu one is small. However, both, you know, the Moleskines, they don't lie flat. Oh, Snorlax is so cute. It looks like a little Totoro. Yeah, I was disappointed that your child did not know who Snorlax was.

Oh, God, I'm covered with shame. I know.

MerlinWait, he's 6'11 and weighs 1,000 pounds?

AlexYeah, that's...

MerlinHe's thick. Aren't you glad Darth is back? Isn't it nice to have Darth back?

AlexOh, man. What do you think prompted the return?

MerlinI'm not that familiar with the canon of Darth, I guess, as other people. But I know Darth hibernates from usually a certain time to a certain time. Is there a certain thing that causes Darth to awaken?

Maybe the smell of french fries. He loves french fries. He loves potatoes. He's so cute. He's so cute. I love his little boots.

Speaker AHe's so cute. I love his face. I just love his expression. It makes me so happy.

AlexHe gives.

MerlinHis little teeth. He's so cute. I love Darth.

AlexI'm just looking at pictures of him, and now I'm all happy. That is stupid.

MerlinMy daughter's mad at me because I, so, how can I put this? I knew that Mewtwo was coming to Netflix in, I guess, February.

AlexYes.

MerlinAnd through means, I had obtained the Japanese subversion.

AlexYes, yes.

MerlinAnd I watched a little of it. I was like, oh, my God, you've got to watch this. Have you watched it?

AlexOh, yeah.

MerlinOh, yes. It's really beautiful. It is. I mean, like, it's shockingly good looking.

AlexI was expecting just a nostalgic, like, one of those, like, straight to TV DreamWorks type movies. Yes, yeah. Like, How to Train Your Dragon 0.5 or something.

MerlinLike, you know, Lilo and Stitch go to Portland.

AlexYeah.

MerlinYes. Yes.

Speaker ABirds. Oh, that'll start galactica. Let's go for this. I can also. Yeah. What's terrible? What was that? What did I just do?

AlexThat sounds terrible. That was Stitch giving a...

MerlinSay it, teabagging. He was teabagging.

AlexStitch was teabagging. Oh, no, no, no, no. That was a deep throat. What do you call it? That was a deep throat of Stitch.

Speaker AOh, no, you think so? Is he a milf?

AlexAnd then he just spits it out.

MerlinWhy are there any teen milfs?

AlexHe doesn't swallow.

MerlinWhoa, whoa. Ohana means family.

So, but now I get the stink eye. I still don't understand this joke. We've reached a phase where, like, I don't understand most of the inside jokes. But I was like, are we ever going to watch Mewtwo? We should watch it. And she said, I saw that you watched some of it on my account. Oh. No, it wasn't the me watching it. It was on her Netflix account. And now that's become a bit. And I still don't really understand it. But it looks great. Pikachu's so cute.

AlexHold on. Pin in. Pin in. I agree. Pin in that. You watch things on your daughter's Netflix account and then. Listen. Listen. My daughter. Messes up where she is in various. Oh, my God. Listen. Oh, no. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm hearing you're not listening.

MerlinYou're right. Our house has been set on fire. One overnight trip with her friend Nora. And now, not as many weeks as I would like, but weeks later, we're in season, I want to say, seven of Grey's Anatomy. So she has monopolized the TV and consequently the Netflix account to watch multiple Grey's Anatomies.

AlexYes.

MerlinWhich means it's always on her account. and one time I opened it up and I said Mewtwo showed up and I clicked it and I was like wow this looks really good

Speaker Athat's what happened there

Merlinwhat's making you happy today Max?

Maxwe're only saying things that are making us happy? no what's making you sad?

Merlinbring it way down what's making you super sad? I think it's hard to keep your balls as clean as you'd like

Alexyou know what I mean?

MerlinI think that's hard I think it's hard to it can be difficult to ride public transit sometimes I think it's very confusing

Alexoh I'm kind of sick of

Merlinfood

AlexI'm sick of being around other people I know

Merlinbut now you have an out now you can tell them

AlexI know I have to stay in because

Merlinhealth

Alexit's like doing keto it's like oh I can't I can't eat that I'm on keto so then you're the cool person is doing the

MerlinThese strips are my boss. It's their house now. The strips tell me what I can do. I'm not keto yet. Keto. What does keto evolve into? Keto?

AlexI'm there. Okay, I'm there. I'm there. See, I was down. I'm down. All right, Max.

MerlinLet's get into it.

AlexGet into it.

MerlinYou guys finally ready to come out? The water's fine. Come on in. This is going to be great.

AlexCome play.

MerlinThere are upsides. There's upsides to this. I'm telling you there's upsides to this. Upsides to... Biden! Coronavirus? Bidenmentum. Oh, Biden. It's going to be... I mean, I've decided not to...

Speaker AThat's not true.

MerlinBut, you know, there are benefits. All right. So do you want to do this, Max? I'm here. Awesome.

AlexReally, though, what is... I don't...

MerlinThe downside is there could hardly be a more vulnerable candidate in a number of ways. Setting aside all the things that each of us would wish in terms of policy stuff, right? Just in terms of this realpolitik thing where everybody's decided that, like, we've got to push out Bernie because he's such a threat. And so we're going to—I mean, it's not even a conspiracy. It would have to be—I mean, if it were private, it would be a conspiracy. It's all out in the open, right? And so all these moderate ding-a-lings all come together and say, hey, he's our man.

Now, let's just stipulate. I think he seems like a nice guy. He's had a crazy life, a lot of nutty stuff. But he's so vulnerable in this particular fight in so many ways, just from a completely realistic standpoint.

Maxit i mean leaving i mean it's just i think you could slice up the the biden thing in a lot of different ways of like the type of demographics that are voting for him or you know whatever his personal story or this or that and there's a lot of ways to look at it and none of it's particularly good but the main thing is who's who's like really excited to go campaign for joe biden exactly who's gonna go to a joe biden rally they're just relieved they're relieved they're

MerlinThey're not excited. They're relieved.

MaxWho's going to go? Who's who's like, I cannot wait. I cannot wait for Election Day to wake up early and go to a polling place and wait in line to vote for Joe Biden. It's going to be Joe Biden is another Hillary Clinton, another John Kerry, another Al Gore. You sent a photo with those. Yeah. Just a just a just a boring establishment. I believe you called it a curse. image democratic frankenstein where people just try to they the democrats love to do this where

they pick adjectives and then they frankenstein a candidate together based on that and then the

Alexresult is like who could who could love that creature yeah i we're all in agreement and i i guess i was not surprised it does it it sucks it does it but it's it's where we are and to your

Merlinpoint though, Max, about the, even the policy stuff, I guess, in particular, I referred to this the other night, uh, it was being a little silly, but like we, um, I was talking about how in spreadsheets, like I'm kind of a spreadsheet nerd and, you know, average can be a very useful way to gauge like, okay, I've got these five data points that are within a pretty, you know, narrow range. Um, you know, if you want to like figure out what somebody's, uh, grade point average is, that's pretty effective. Like telling somebody's grade point, median and mode, it's not

as useful in a data set of, you know, four to eight, right? The problem is that when you have an incredibly diverse data set with all kinds of different stuff, there is no one factor that's going to adequately represent your data set. And arguably the one that is most deceptive at showing your data set is average, is mean. And I said the other night, it's like trying to determine America's average hair color. Like, what does that tell you? Or like, what is America's average weather?

Like, what are all those average things? The problem is when you try to get a consensus candidate that just on the basis of we can all agree on cheese, this is what you end up with. Yeah. Now, here's the thing. Here's the problem. Here's his vulnerabilities. And I'm going to get this out of the way. But first of all, I take the note that we shouldn't make fun of the old man and his stuttering and that's ableist. I take that note. But do you imagine, do you imagine that in a race for the presidency against Donald Trump, this is a man where we will be able to defend him and protect him from those kinds of attacks?

put another way, do we buy into this liberal myth that just because we close our eyes and think of England, we blink really hard and go, we can make something magically happen? That's magical thinking. They're going to tear this guy apart. Vulnerability number two, sorry to say it, Hunter and Burisma. That is going to be pursued with a zeal that is going to be more upsetting than maybe anything else we've seen so far. Those are vulnerabilities. Max, to your vulnerability, like somebody said last night, without Googling it, tell me three of his policy

ideas. What are his big ideas? His big ideas are that he's a guy that we feel comfortable with, and when he talks about his son, we cry along with him, because the story of his family and what he's been through is extremely sad.

Women lying around in ponds, distributing swords is not the basis for a system of government. And picking the person who makes you cry the most, well, you know, I think Cory Booker should have had that one then. So those are all vulnerabilities. Because of his fashion? Because of his fashion? Yeah. He was very into, his whole bit was we got to bring everybody together, kumbaya was his thing.

AlexMm-hmm, mm-hmm. But you know, Warren, she'd read the names of all the women who died in the Rose Garden every year, all the trans women.

MerlinWomen who died in the Rose Garden

Alexwere like killed by Kennedy? Oh, God.

MerlinThe bodies?

AlexThat was her whole bit.

MerlinAbraham Lincoln said, put me near the cemetery.

AlexWoof.

MerlinDon't let me get over my skis. That's exactly what Lincoln said.

AlexOkay, Max, serious question. Do you think this, putting just the election in focus, do you feel that you've made yourself more vulnerable than before, and that is affecting you more than four years ago?

MaxLike emotionally? Yeah. Oh, I don't know. No, because I wasn't working on the Sanders campaign. I was just supporting it. But well, that's exactly what I mean. I don't mean to say I don't mean to put a past tense. Like, I think Bernie still has an extremely plausible path to the nomination. And, you know, Biden has not really been in the spotlight. He's not going to do well in the spotlight. Like it is going to be. He sure better.

MerlinI mean, that's the problem. He better do well.

Maxwell right he's in a lot of ways the the most under covered candidate right like he has not gotten the same sort of daily attention and scrutiny as the other candidates he's just sort of been a background character in this thing but you know the thing that's that that is bumming me out and i have this feeling about coronavirus as well is like things are very precarious right now and like we've talked a lot about in the podcast about like ideas about like american rule of law I think like I think coronavirus is is systems and infrastructure are not in great shape right now.

Yeah. Like, yeah. I want to get into coronavirus and talk about like supply, some supply chain stuff and things like that, because that's that's not, you know, making me feel great this week. But, you know, the other thing is like global warming. Right. Like an undercovered aspect of coronavirus to me is the global warming hook. We are going to have more of this.

MerlinThat's driving the animal diseases toward us.

MaxYeah, correct. We're going to have more of these of these global pandemics, but also having refugee climate refugees and having basically concentration camps like people, you know, immiserated people living in in some sort of concentrated encampment is where these diseases like take root and spread. They're very vulnerable to them. but and and finally and here's the other thing that i'm thinking about is like the thing that i'm not worried about coronavirus like and we'll probably all be fine i mean maybe we'll get it

Alexmaybe we won't like only the poor's will get it i mean that's that's what i keep thinking about

Merlini love it when they say like it only affects old people old and sick people don't and no yeah it's

Maxjust poor because nobody likes old and sick people probably i mean i mean listen like you gotta i mean you gotta pick sort of your threat model here and like i had we had friends over the other night and they were like, well, I went out and got, our friends were like, I went out and got a life straw. Do you guys know what that is? It's like a straw. Is that a prepper thing?

AlexIt's like a water thing, right? Where you suck it, oh God.

MaxIt purifies water. And I was like, what you're modeling against right now is that society will collapse to such a degree

Speaker Athat you cannot get water.

MaxAnd you're going to go outside and find a puzzle, a puddle in the street and you're going to slurp it up through your straw and you're going to be like, ah, sweet sustenance of water. And then just shoot your rifle into the sky.

That's your threat model that you're like, okay, I'm going to live my life to that. I mean, come on.

MerlinYou could also buy a crank radio. There's all kinds of things you could do to print.

MaxYeah. If we get to the point where there's not water coming out of the tap, I mean. We're done.

MerlinSome people will have water coming out of the tap. Don't worry about that.

MaxYou know how people always go in a zombie movie or something, and they're like, what would be your plan? Would you get to Mexico, or would you try and hijack an airplane and fly to Australia? And it's like, I'd probably kill myself. I don't know. If I turned on the faucet and water didn't come out, I don't know. But anyway.

AlexWell, the problem is then, there's not going to be also, all of the ammunition at that point is going to be gone. So you've got to figure out, and there's probably a lot of, oh, it got dark, it got dark, I'm sorry.

MaxI'm going out Epstein style. flimsy bed sheet tied to a cell. Guards are asleep for 30 seconds. I'm snapping that high-ride bone.

MerlinThat's why I'm stocking up on bungee cords. I'm going to have the most atrocious autoerotic wank using every bungee cord I can find.

AlexWhat a good way to go out.

MerlinI'm going to wrap every part of my body very, very tightly.

AlexThat's a good way.

MaxHere's what got me out of this, though. So I think the mop, to me, I don't think it's going to be that we're all going to die of famine and disease, But imagine this scenario, right? Roads, right now, like roads in China are closed. The goods are not moving. And, you know, we still have stuff in this country. There's stuff coming off of boats. There's stuff in ports. Give it, in three to four months, there will not be that stuff. That is when the lag will hit of the disruption to global supply chains that's happening right now. And that's assuming things don't get worse. That's assuming this is like basically it stays at this level of badness or gets better from here.

in three to four months things are going to get very weird in the sense that like you will go to the store and not be able to find your brand of peanut butter or you know your daily things but

Merlinit's going to happen so slowly and chaotically and in such weird ways you know what i mean it's going to be like you know like the feeling when you're traveling like you're in a cabin you're in a hotel room and you realize oh there's this one convenience item that i don't have but then there's a cascade of like well do i need to go to the store to get that do i want to you know pre-buy ibuprofen i don't have whatever it is like what you're describing here is that's that's going to be that could be uh computer components that's certainly going to be all the kind of plastic shit that's coming over on on ships right now there's all kinds of parts you're going to see slips in and i bet you'll see it first in stuff like slips on shipping availability like on amazon

i bet that will be one where it'll show up but you know what i'm saying like where the the finished goods are not going to be available but what you're talking about also the components there's so many components, not just computers, so much of our life is based on components from China. Oh, everything.

MaxFood, packaging, pharmaceutical, all the chemical precursors for stuff, it all comes from China. Almost all the generics come from India and China. Like, pretty much. But even that, I think that's not going to be, for us and most of the people listening to this podcast, I don't think you need to panic. I don't think any of this stuff is going to be, you know, life-threatening or anything near to that degree. I just think it's going to be weird. I think there's going to be shortages. I think there could be runs on gas and things like that. But the thing that bothers me about this is it's going to press right on the existing pressure points in society, the things that everyone is already very tense about, such as who gets what and class.

and, right, imagine...

MerlinAnd also just a widening target of who's responsible for this problem or these problems.

MaxRight. Imagine the wealthy people, right, who if someone was like, well, you can't buy almond butter this week or let's say almond butter costs 10 times as much this week, what would I do? I'd probably shrug my shoulders and be like, well, I want the almond butter so I'll pay, you know, 40 bucks for it or whatever. I don't know. I mean, I haven't been in that situation but I imagine that's what I'd do.

AlexI don't think it's going to hit people until they're like, oh, the new, iPhone isn't coming out like oh oh like I truly think I think it's going to be I think it's going

Maxto be household it's going to it's going to hit people in their daily household goods purchasing cost of cost of food cost of toilet paper cost of medication things like that I think that's

Alexgoing to be a slow slow creep like you said like we're just going to get like how we got used to expensive gas we're going to get used to expensive paper towel our society is we're we're not ready

Maxfor this right now. This is a bad time for that to happen.

MerlinWell, there's so many things. I'm paraphrasing what you said, but there's so many areas that are like, well, obviously there's so many things that are broken, but there's so many things that are for practical purposes broken and we haven't just noticed yet. And like what you're saying here, there's so many systems that are already pushed way beyond their limits. But then this also gets us into stuff when we talk about knock-on effects, stuff like if kids can't go to school, I know this isn't something we're supposed to worry about, but if kids can't go to school, there's a ton of kids that aren't going to eat.

Speaker AThat is something that is still one of those.

MerlinIt feels like a very you guys thing to say, but it's true. There's a large number of kids that get at least one of their meals, one of their primary meals of the day comes from school. And what happens when that goes away? Now you're at home and now mom can't work. And you know what I mean? You can't go into the office for your already shitty underpaid job. And that's, I agree. So LifeStraw, what was the LifeStraw?

Alexlet's let's make fun of the lifers oh you're just thinking about the apocalypse

Maxhuh you're just thinking about apocalypse stuff no that was i was trying to explain something

Alexokay i i actually got a good tip that i think could help people which is like my my doctor was like yeah even even you who i get you get sick all the time you're going to be fine but it's going to be hard for you to get your medication so you can do like a three months and sorry by medication I mean all of the psych things that make my my brain not those those are medications

MerlinAlex yes those are medications they're not real medications they're not they're not real they're

Alexjust helping your body exactly yeah so it's it's it's not helping you know my legs so it's not but that's the kind of stuff I'm worried about. Like people who can't get, I, well, lots of people can't get insulin already.

MerlinYeah. But like my mom, my mom's an old lady and she does not have the best health in the world. And like, so of course in my world where inconvenience is the worst thing. No, but I think about like, well, if she does get sick, am I supposed to fly there? And like, so well, is flying still going to be like a safe thing to do? Like for anybody? Like, is it going to maybe cause even more trouble if I come there and I'm carrying that thing? And it's like, there's all these different things where it's like, you know, all of those systems Max is talking about are going to be very, very strained.

MaxAnd the thing that's concerning to me is we already have these existing pressure points in society that are very tense right now. right around issues around class like look at like what happens when there's a police shooting and people take to the streets and it's not it's not it's not that they're mad about that what the particulars of that one police shooting i mean people are furious about it but it's that it's that it's this it's that we cannot take it anymore right it's like that's it that's it and if people

go to the store and they cannot buy peanut butter or the price of bread goes up you know these like daily things go up yeah that it concerns me and it to me it's like we society the other it just makes me upset like we should not be this vulnerable to a mild flu that goes around the world like our society should not be designed in such a way that it's like these the things like global warming which we were talking about a minute ago these insane immiserated classes of

people that cannot get health care or, you know, are just extremely vulnerable to whatever random things happen in the world. We should it makes us like it makes society so brittle. And and there's never a moment like we never get a moment in American politics. Take right now, for example. Right. Let's just play this out. Let's just think about this for a second. So let's say Joe Biden becomes the nominee and he wins and he becomes president. And let's just say for the sake of my thought experiment here, let's say this is very unlikely, But let's say he carries the Senate as well, right?

So the Democrats have the House, the Senate, the presidency. Immediately, the message that you're going to hear from people is, oh, well, we can't really do anything about those big underlying issues, wealth inequality, health care, global warming. We can't really do that because we need to protect our majority. We have to protect the majority. If we really do things like that, Americans will get mad. They won't like that. And we have to protect our majority. Then they'll get killed in the midterms, just like Obama did. And then they'll go, and then you'll get the rise of some Trump figure or something.

And they'll go, well, now we can't do anything about it because we have to beat the other guy.

MerlinYeah.

MaxOr just on permanent defense.

MerlinWell, when's the time, guys? I don't disagree. I mean, I voted my heart. I agree. I totally agree. Yeah. It sucks.

AlexIt does. It sucks. It sucks. It's not good. And it's hard to make ourselves feel better. And I don't know. I just keep.

MaxMaybe this thing will wipe out all the old people. That would be great electorally.

AlexThat is a little bit what I'm thinking about. Like how. I'll let my mom know. I don't have to buy it in the mattress. Texting my grandma. Just hang out. Hang out there. Grandma. Grandma, please die.

MerlinOh, no. Mom, you should go out more. You should get out more, Mom. You should go see a movie. See a movie.

AlexI really wanted that chair.

MerlinMom, have you ever thought of being a candy striper at the hospital where you could go?

MaxIt is kind of biblical, though, right? It's like you have this older generation. It would be pretty goddamn funny.

MerlinThe most vulnerable population are the hogs. Just those giant, giant pork chop men with their sleeveless shirts at the target, their fucking thumb heads, their goddamn goatees.

MaxIt does have a certain it has a certain biblical quality to it of like you have this generation and they're like, we're going to take the world down with us.

MerlinBut well, no, after after like and let's be honest without without invoking the word after after years of chiding everyone else for how irresponsible they are. All the riches that have been passed on to them. The boomer generation who has spent years reminding everybody else that they're not working hard enough or having the same breaks that they did. Right. Just like all like it would be almost like a stage play. They just all fall over on stage.

MaxBut you're telling me there's specifically a disease that kills boomers that is rapidly spreading around the world?

Speaker AYeah.

MaxIt has a certain, you know.

AlexIt does. It does a little bit. It has an appeal. It literally doesn't like affect children. This is, hey, this is just, you know what?

MerlinThis is allegedly, allegedly, just in the game. This is just, we're just having fun here. Yeah.

MaxBut definitely, definitely get outside.

MerlinReally circulate.

MaxYou know, dear God, God, if you're not, God, who knows what would please you? But if you're not happy with the actions of the American voting, you know, the American electorate and the Trump administration, just send us a sign, any sign.

Just some kind, but like something like. I just wish God, just send us any sign.

MerlinLord, in all thy mercy, we just want to thank you, Lord. I love when you say we just want. I just want to just we just want to thank you, Lord, and just praise you. And if thy will be, if thy will be that everybody who's really super into Kokomo was to die at once or that, you know, it would be like the rapture.

MaxAnybody in a long car just disappears. I just want to thank you and praise you. But think of how much more effectively I could do that if I had a jet ski.

MerlinLord, I just want to praise you today and say that as somebody who voted for you, or thy messenger, I have a pool cleaning business that is very successful in Gainesville, Florida. And I just really want to give us some kind of a sign. Let me live. Let my idiot sons die.

AlexMaybe in a pool accident. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oopsie.

Speaker APraise God from whom all blessings flow.

AlexIt would have been really funny if the Pope got it.

MerlinThat song's called Doxology. I just realized that's called Doxology.

AlexIt's not about doxing, though. It would be really funny.

MerlinFrom the Greek. Yeah, just see them all go down. Nothing left but a pair of large cargo shorts in a Target parking lot. He's risen. Oh, no. He all slept behind or his cargo shirts and his wraparound sunglasses.

AlexUh-oh.

MaxAre you guys prepping? Are you prepping? I'm prepped. What are you doing? I like the ones you prepare.

MerlinPrepping for the Coronas?

Speaker AOh.

MaxYeah. No.

Speaker AYou didn't do anything? Well, I mean. You didn't do anything?

MerlinI mean, security is a process, like Bruce Schneer says. Like, we went through this when we very first, my wife, this is years before our daughter was born. We're like, ah! Again, I made my mother-in-law's noise. I said, ah! I said, ah! We've got to get ready for this, I almost said hurricane. We've got to get an earthquake kit. So what do you do when you get an earthquake kit? You go and you buy a big garbage can. You can't keep it inside. It's got to be somewhere outside. You get a garbage can and seal it. And you're going to put all your stuff in there. You put your water in there. You put your blankets and your food and your provisions, right?

And then you have to have it somewhere outside, which is very convenient. Now you've got an earthquake kit. You think you're done? You're not because everything in that will rot. All that food is bad. Believe it or not, yes, water expires. All that water has expired. And also, by the way, you didn't seal it enough, so now it's mildewed. Just allegedly that can happen. You've got to keep an earthquake. Here's what you don't do. You don't go to Costco, get one of their giant-ass carts, and put 700 bottles of hand sanitizer in it.

You have just had an impact on other people's future without vastly improving your own. You know what I mean? Right.

AlexNo, no.

MerlinAll the prepping stuff, that needs to become your hobby. You can't do HomeKit anymore because now all your time is going to be keeping up with your prepper shit.

MaxYeah, I agree with that. To me, the question is, like, what do you have to sort of pick something to model against? Like, your threat model. Like, what are you prepared for, basically?

AlexWhat do you... Oh, I see. Okay.

MaxLike, I am not prepared for the grid going down, like, not having electricity, no running water. I am not going to prepare for that.

MerlinYeah.

MaxI am preparing to be, like, let's say that things get really crazy and there's some sort of, like, quarantine where you're asked to stay in your house for a week. Oh, God.

Merlinit's called spring break and it sucks

Alexhere I mean someone one of my pals came over the other day and it just so happens because oh everybody go to twoheadagirlfm.com and you can listen to our Matty and my journey as we go and get his boobs chopped off in Michigan so he'll be Michigan boob job Michigan boob job. His Michigan boob job. Wolverine top job.

He can't leave the house. When recovering from surgery, he can't leave the house for three, well, I mean, he can, but he can't do shopping or anything for three weeks. So it does look like our apartment's a fucking bunker. And because- Are you allowed to be in there that long? Did your landlord allow that? Can you be there during the day? And here's the other thing. We've got a lot of, we have a big battery thing like that normally goes in the car, but because sometimes our electricity goes out and like the fuse is broken,

we do have a number of things that a lot of people would consider a bit of an overkill, but it does look, oh, the amount of toilet paper. You can never have enough, but at this point, and oh, the cat food. There's so, so much. There's just a big, there's litter.

MerlinThey just keep eating. They do.

AlexYeah, they do. They keep eating and shitting, And then I don't know what's going to happen if the garbage service stops. Oh, no, we'll become New York. Gross. Yeah.

MerlinI need Super Train more than ever. So, yeah. That's fun.

AlexYou know what? I truly, it is, I'm never optimistic about anything. Like, I think I spend a lot of time with the Bernie app and just doing it. You know, there's only so much you can kind of do at this point in Illinois. But I work on a lot of things that I'm not optimistic about. But I keep thinking coronavirus has to, like, just make things click in some people's brain of, oh, there is another world out there.

Like maybe somehow this can be something for humanity. It's terrible.

MerlinThere's something that's just hiding right in plain sight that I just I've got to say while I'm thinking of it. You guys are both pointing to something hiding in plain sight. Like what you're describing there is like, well, you know, to paraphrase Lincoln, like, you know, what about our better angels? Will we see in this the chance to go like not only is this a threat to me, it's a threat to other people. that's there's this little little acorn of concern at the midst of all of this is if i'm honest um what if we've just reached a reached a point where it has become difficult or impossible to get a reasonable number of americans to support anything that isn't directly

there to help them and i mean like i know i'm not i'm it's easy to be cynical about that but But the truth is, like, for a long time, we've all been able to say, hey, rising tide raises all the votes. Like, everybody's happy when things are going well. When things aren't going well and you've got some scarcity, that's when it gets rough and hardscrabble. But, like, there was a part last night when my wife arrived home right as it became clear that Liz was going to come in, I think, third, at least, in Massachusetts. And I was like, and we're both, I mean, I don't want to talk about my own voting, but, like, we both really liked her and what she's up to.

And that was, I just had this flash for a moment where I was like, oh, man, like, are we just done with a time when you can count on the usual cohorts to think beyond their own interests right now? And, you know, I mean, that sounds silly, but like the, let me ask you this, Max. What happened to the young people? Where's the youth? Did the youth come out? Yeah, they're voting for Bernie.

AlexYeah.

MerlinIn huge numbers. Okay. So that's still happening. Yeah.

AlexWhy wouldn't it?

MerlinBecause he got shellacked last night.

AlexWell, no.

MerlinThere's young people everywhere. There's not just young people in the cities where the Bernie app is used. There's young people everywhere. Why hasn't there been more of a youth movement around that? Because it seemed like there's a disproportionate. You know what it is? It's like 80-20. Like there's so, such fervent. Watching his speech last night, it was the opposite of Biden, to your point, Max. which is like these people are so hungry for Bernie to win for like so many reasons and are ready to like go to the mattresses for that.

And then on the other hand, you're like, wow, just a bunch of grandpas sitting around like, you know, nodding off while Uncle Joe gives his talk. And it's like, what happened with the youths? Why aren't there more youths?

MaxYeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't think. Because youths can usually be counted on to at least virtue signal. You know, I don't think Bernie got shellacked. I mean, he did. He like you have to remember, like the nature of his candidacy. But what happened is, you know, to state the obvious here, like there's there's two ideas of what the Democratic Party should be about. You have the leftist sort of side of things, which is like where it's like we want a party that's like for the people and that's – it's sort of not driven by corporate interests and it's very skeptical.

MerlinYeah, like sort of to paraphrase him, justice rather than the democratic system. Supporting the democratic system, we've had plenty of.

MaxWhat we haven't had is a commitment to justice that spins out into policy. Yeah, that's a very good way to put it. And you have the other side of the Democratic establishment, which is the Democratic establishment, and they're more centrists, and they're more like, things are going pretty well, we don't want to rock the boat.

These people have long careers and lots of success in Democratic politics on the backs of different industries that they work with, and they don't want to mix that up. That side, the establishment side, consolidated behind one candidate. They all had someone to vote for, and our side is a mess right now. So it's it who knows what's going to happen before the convention. But also the problem with being with not being on the establishment side, it's asymmetrical. Like there are the establishment they have.

That's the that, you know, right.

MerlinThey have money and also money matters for trying to not make money matters. But but for now, money matters.

MaxWell, an interesting thing is actually that Bernie has much more money than Biden. And Biden had very little field operation in a lot of these states.

MerlinYeah, like in Tennessee. He didn't, I mean, it's, there's so many, in some ways the big story was Biden versus Bloomberg in the sense that, like, which one of these grandpas is going to get in.

AlexOh, that surprised me this morning. That was the only thing that surprised me.

MerlinYeah, we're like, it's just, I mean, like the one, one of the.

MaxBloomberg was only, Bloomberg was running because he was worried that there would not be a viable, a path for the establishment. Yeah. Because it looked for a while like Bernie was going to run away with it.

AlexThat's why I was surprised that he, it worried me and surprised me. Yeah.

Maxyeah and then when he got out he's basically saying well i don't need to be in this anymore because biden will will get in there and take care of all of all of the sort of business as usual

Alexhe's like cool i saved some money for myself like i don't need to stay longer those beleaguered

Maxcredit card companies will finally get help right now biden has i think 40 30 or 40 more electoral votes than bernie it's effectively a tie and there's a lot of states to go we'll see what happens yep we'll see what happens like it's not it's not over till it's over um also you know i think people got pretty comfortable that bernie was going on a certain trajectory and maybe they didn't come out you also saw long lines at polling stations i think people were scared to vote because of coronavirus i think people probably some people probably stayed home because they

Alexwere worried about it it's a weird it was a weird election night i feel like i you guys are tiptoeing around it but like i feel like warren is becoming increasingly a bigger and bigger problem and

Maxyeah it's like fitting off bernie boots just yeah she's handing she's gonna hand trump the

Alexpresidency unless she drops out and endorses bernie i don't i i truly i have been excited about warren for for years and to watch her completely it's like oh this this is the kind of person you are you're for like quote ethical capitalism and this is and and it's like okay yep nope no chance and and I don't think the women supporting her I don't want to say understand no they they don't get it like that caring about class is intersectionality like oh all Bernie

cares about is class yeah that's awesome for us like that's that's that's great and if you don't care about that like guess what the you the teamsters and and the poor trans people like we want the same things it's it baffles me to see people supporting her for the reasons that they do and i i understand there are folks who genuinely think that her policy is better than bernie's

which, okay, fair enough. But the performativeness of, she's electable if you vote for her, fuck off. The woman in my mind, she's a coward. And it breaks my heart that someone that I... Alex's popping off. No, it fucking breaks my heart to see someone who in the past, like what it's been like fucking 10 years and seeing what i thought of a really progressive

woman who was just such an inspiration to be to be like okay this is this is just a power grab

Maxand it it sucks here's the good news elizabeth warren her sort of superhero origin story is that she got into politics because of joe biden's coziness with the credit card industry and this absurd this absurd legislation that he was doing to protect people uh bad actors in the credit card industry i think the now that it's essentially a choice between bernie just just mathematically like it's either going to be bernie or biden as the democratic nominee there is not enough like

it's not going to be another candidate just mathematically i i cannot see warren i it's very hard for me to i mean maybe by the time this comes out she'll have already dropped out and endorsed biden but that is so hard it would be it would mean that she has no principles if she drops out

Alexand endorses biden that's that's the thing i and you can i i don't know it would be like it would

Maxbe a full circle complete betrayal of her entire political career oh i i agree she says she

Alexendorses biden i i agree and again it is it is heartbreaking like i'm i'm not and he's warned

Maxpeople their whole thing their whole thing that the Warren people have been saying for a year or whatever now is well her and Bernie are the same on policy they're the same so why wouldn't you just it's like you know why wouldn't you just buy yeah they have the same features why not buy the brand that has the woman and if you believe that then you could vote for Bernie you know and exactly I don't think they believe I don't think they actually believe that though I think they actually know that that warren is is closer to biden and bernie on i don't i don't think so i

Alexthink you're overestimating a lot of white women like and and i'll i'll admit it i was stoked to vote for hillary clinton reason for this episode to ever end there's it might as well go on forever and i'm fine with being canceled for this because oh no i you guys you got you you guys are popping

MerlinI'm not about to get in the way.

AlexThe Warren people.

MaxThese Warren people.

AlexNo, no. Am I?

MaxWell, they're like, it's like nine psychopaths who work at. They're all like managers at advertising agencies.

MerlinAnd then they're on Twitter for eight hours a day. That's what they are. Managers at advertising agencies is what they are. What are you?

AlexWhat? No.

MaxYeah, I make a novelty card game.

AlexYeah, I have a fake. I have a fake job where like it's a. that's i okay i'm not making a coherent point i think there are people who genuinely believe

Merlinyou're both wrong but that's but you're making great points they genuinely believe that like you guys are you guys are mad and you're wounded and i understand that um but like wow that's a that's you just cast a pretty fucking broad no exactly over like a very a very um a very distinguished uh person who's would do a great job it's it's it's and that's fine because because you're mad and you're popping off and i'm not gonna say shit about it but like but consider for a moment that the way that you are talking right now and the way that other people are

talking right now is a tremendous turnoff that this this whole idea of like like that's the noise that all the bernie folks are making right now and it's not a good look i know and it and it sucks if you want if you want to fucking win anything like you've you're i don't know right

Alexnow i sound like a bully and that i don't like that i don't like sounding like a bully i don't i don't like i don't care that she used to be a republican i but but i mean like so like i'm not

Merlini don't have a so much of a dog in this fight as much as y'all do but like you know if we take it has read that we're already at a point where everybody's dug in on their positions and and the best we can do is just tell each other why we're fucking morons like i don't i don't know what the way forward is with that and i'm not i'm not here to like this is not a new york times piece on a on a man with a red hat in a diner but it is a way to say like you better you better hope to God that somebody gives a little bit on the idea of a way forward, or I don't know

what's going to happen. And this is a basic problem with trying to fight Trumpism, fight against Trumpism, which is that when their guy acts like an idiot, they are super into it, because he's speaking truth to power, and he is showing that you can't push the little guy around anymore. He is my, in the true sense of the word, Donald Trump is my champion. Trump and his people, Stephen Miller, he is my champion. These are all people who are champions for me. Now, when Donald Trump stands there and asks Fauci for the third time,

if we could just use a flu vaccine that you get at CVS, he asked him three times. And each time he said, no, sir, we can't do this. It's going to take a year and a half to get a safe vaccine. They think that's fucking hilarious. Because, I mean, who knows? I mean, they're loving that. I'm not persuaded that our side is going to have

Speaker Aa lot of success with

Merlinthat kind of divisiveness because part of our baked in problem is that we try really hard to believe in something and see goodness in people and I don't know I don't know it's a sad night, it's a bummer of a night I like her

AlexI Hey, you guys want to talk about bags? Yeah.

Ding. Where's the bell? Where's the bell? What do you mean? I feel like you deserve a bell for that. Oh, no.

MerlinNo bell. No bell. No bell? No. I just.

AlexWait, how do you do the sad bell? What's the work on that?

MaxCan you have a sad bell? No, you do it. You do it sometimes. I can't quite get it. Oh, there's the kind of the...

MerlinThat's angry bell.

MaxNo, it's that when it's sad. Yeah, it's like when you're hitting a cymbal. You grab it. Is that kind of it? Do I have it?

MerlinWhat?

MaxThe sad bell?

MerlinThen you get a mute. Give it a mute. oh there we go that felt good very good this week's uh this week's challenge is uh bag in a bag bag and interpret any way you want the idea is to get more bags for your bags toys for your toys and uh how'd we all do with that did we get back in a bag oh hell yeah fucking a i did an order from tom binn i think whilst we were still recording and uh it basically it's it shipped i sent you didn't send you a screen grab of that it was like yeah 40 minutes from order to

Alexshipping how crazy is that well because they're a nice company and they don't charge you out the

Merlinass for shipping like the fucking managers the managers at like fucking advertising firms so i ordered some bags and bags and i also brought some of my bags so i could discuss my bags Max did you get bag in a bag

MaxI used bags this week Because I was traveling Nice We can take this any way we want

AlexNow I did not purchase All of these bags At once But I'm prepared

MerlinI like that little bastic That's so cute

AlexOh I've got two little bastics One's a little bastic One's a big boy

MerlinNever speak to me or my basket ever again that's funny let's see so on the left the left is that the signups uh yeah all right all right

Alexlet's uh let's let's let's go through my my bag picture uh there my my primary the the edc as you call it my everyday carry is the cynic bag which is the tom bin's new clamshell backpacks so it opens like all all the way around uh and and it has a built-in laptop compartment which is the first time they've ever done that previously they just sold what was um what i think

they called it like the a cache and you'd pop it in and pop it out and it was fine but it was just a pain i like having that side zipper to pull the laptop in and out but uh so that's Does it hold a 16-inch? I haven't tried, but I doubt it.

MerlinI couldn't find any on the Tom Bin site that expressly made it super clear that it would hold something. Most of them, 15 seems to be kind of where it stops with a lot of the Tom Bin bags that aren't the brain bag.

AlexOh, no, no, no. I believe it's the 30, the one up from the 22 Scynic.

MerlinOkay. All right, cool. 30 is the number of liters?

AlexI think so. I don't know. Okay. But I used to use the Synapse every day, which was kind of the version. This is like the sequel.

I think Max used that bag, so people would confuse them all the time. So I used the Peak Design bag, but it was too much of a weird clamshell, and I stopped. So hooray, the Scynic.

MerlinScynic 22 holds up to a 13-inch laptop, it says.

AlexAnd you can fit, I actually fit, I mostly don't carry a laptop anymore, but when I do, it fits both that and an iPad in there, which is really cool.

MerlinOh, Scynic 30 holds up to 15 inch.

AlexYes, which I can only assume also holds the 16 inch because I have plenty of room for a 13 inch in the smaller 22.

MerlinDoes anybody have a 16-inch laptop at your office?

AlexNo, actually.

MerlinA new MacBook Pro? Okay.

AlexNo. Oh, well, maybe I'm actually going to ask. That's a good idea.

MerlinCould you do some science for me?

AlexYeah, I will. I will.

MerlinSee if somebody's 16-inch would fit in which models?

AlexMm-hmm.

MerlinBecause you need more work.

AlexI do. Here's the problem. I'm going to be like, listen, I would like to put your laptop somewhere, but don't let me touch the keys because I just, I don't want, I don't want to know. I don't want to know how good it is. But yeah,

MerlinI thought it was because of the virus, but I got virus on the brain.

AlexOh no, that's going to, yeah. So you're mainly,

Merlinthis is mainly you're walking around bag that doesn't have a laptop in it.

AlexOh, when I say I don't carry a laptop, that's just because most of the stuff I can do, I have an iPad or I use Maddie's laptop at home or, the iMac Pro here. So it's just, it's got my little guy. And it holds books nicely. So it doesn't get crushed like most of my other books. But if you just want a laptop backpack, I would say this is one of the best ones. It has an awesome water bottle pocket in the middle,

which I was never a fan of, but you really can tell if you're like me and you've got like a sometimes 30 liter water bottle with you, because I'm a little fish, you can feel it on your back.

But all right, so taking that away, it's a perfect laptop backpack, but the sort of novelty, I guess, of Tom Binn are these things called O-rings, which is still a funny name in my opinion, that are all throughout the bag, and they sell accessories that have little clips and you can clip them to these tiny O-rings throughout the bag. Am I kind of explaining this in a reasonable way?

It's hard for me to explain. Even their copy is hard.

MerlinAlex, it's a ring that you hang stuff on is I think what you're starting to say.

AlexWell, it's an O-ring.

MerlinMy problem with that is if you put too much stuff, it pulls the bag down and makes it slumpy.

AlexAh, well, that's the thing. That used to be my problem as well, but I think they've sort of improved.

MerlinThe scientific internal frame. Tell me about the internal frame.

AlexThat's interesting. The internal frame is just a piece of plastic with a metal bar going through the middle, and I think I am going to take it out. The idea is that it curves to your back. um but then yeah and but then it stands up straight and gives it and gives it some shape yes instead of just going the plop on the floor um and getting your bag all dirty like mine is uh but i gotta say like when when you're carrying a bunch of stuff it kind of digs in if you don't

have it exactly aligned with your back and if you're like me and you just you know when i'm not looking at the chimneys. I'm just like a big gross hunchback of a human. And I think I'm going to take it out. Fake friend Rosemary Orchard took hers out and I don't know. Okay. So anyway, I did get, hold on. There was the bag that I was making fun of Max for, the packing cube little purse

thing they have they have a backpack version of that and i i don't know if i'm into it because it's really big like it's i want i kind of like the little purse thing okay i'm backing up i'm backing up a packing cube a packing cube is a little compartment that you use in a suitcase to compress your clothing max max is she okay right now yep yep everything's fine everything's

MerlinI didn't ask you.

AlexMax, is she okay right now? I'm fine. I'm fine. I don't know. We should have gotten.

MaxMaybe we should have gotten a higher end model of Alex. We should have put more. Should have gotten the gold cables for Alex.

AlexYou should have gotten the 30. Gotten the 30.

MaxShould have gotten that more Ram.

MerlinMore sugar bites on your bus driver.

AlexMore 64s. I'm going to get one of them 30s.

MerlinI'm going to get one of them 30s.

AlexI've seen the 30s. I've seen the 30s. I love my 30. Stephen Hackett can wear a 30 really well. You're a large man, but you're a tallish man.

MerlinDo you want to take a sip of water or something?

AlexThis is an absolute Joe Biden speech of explanation right now.

MerlinJohn Chevrolet is the guy that sold those John John's long cars.

AlexOkay.

MerlinGuy sold the longest cars I've ever seen.

AlexTom Bin, the company, makes great packing cubes.

MerlinBack up a minute. What is a bag?

AlexTom Bin makes a great packing cube that turns itself into a backpack. And it's a little bit big for me.

MerlinBy self-improvement? Force of will?

AlexI like saying, as soon as I said turns itself into a backpack, I knew that I was going to be. But, okay, so it's a little bit big for me. However, I was like, wait, wait. This is a great packing cube on its own. Even if I never use it as a backpack, it's one of their bigger packing cubes.

MerlinIs that the one with the diagonal zipper?

AlexYes. Well, there's two versions. There's one that's called the Triad.

MerlinThat looks kind of like an Eagle Creek clothes packing bag a little bit.

AlexYeah. And actually, Maddie has a version of this that's smaller, and it's almost the same thing, except, oh, God, you made me drink Diet Coke too fast, and now I'm burping. Did I? Oh, yes, you did.

MerlinI did that.

AlexYep. All right, I'm better now. That was disgusting. I'm sorry. Oh, I thought it'd be funny. It was just nasty. Okay. All right. So anyway, I'm traveling soon.

MerlinPacking cubes.

AlexPacking cubes are kinds of bags. Packing cubes. There's big ones and small ones. There's big ones and small ones. Okay. And then I have what's called the Snake Charmer, which is just a mesh bag by Tom Bin that you put all your cords in. It's not a great thing for dongles because then you're kind of reaching. There's no place to like, there are no like little rubber bands to keep it in place. like your dongle bag you recently got. But if you have a lot of chargers and external batteries, this is the way to go.

And then I have two little, like, how would you call my little holsters? What would you call them, Merlin?

MerlinHow would I call your little holsters?

AlexHow would you call them?

MerlinHow would I call your little holsters?

AlexYou know what? At least I won South Carolina.

MerlinOkay, so there's two baskets here. Is the snake charmer the one in the front and the middle?

AlexYes, the one with the mesh.

MerlinOkay, I don't understand this. I have one of those, but it's big.

AlexYes, this is my smaller version. I have a big one for work. Yeah. All right, okay, cool. So I do have that. All right, there it is. There it is right there. It feels, oh, and it's so soft, too. Oh, love a mesh.

MerlinHmm.

Speaker ADesigned in May, Tom Bin.

MerlinOkay, all right, cool, cool, cool.

AlexAnd then for traveling, oh, I wish they had, see, Tom Bin is so classy that they don't have the names of their shit on it. They just.

MerlinI know, I can't see. I was just looking at my snake charmer.

AlexYeah. It just says portable culture, which from 1972.

MerlinBoy, there's a lot of ways you can improve this site. There's a lot of ways to improve this site.

AlexThe Tom Binn site? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

MerlinI mean, one of the – okay, so one of the problems – there's so many problems with this site. Like, if you go and click on that, like, select a color in any of these, there's, like, so many options. Do you want this – it's not just colors. It's also size, and that's all hidden. under a dropdown, but the two things that this site needs, the thing it needs more than anything else, I think, is at the very least a laptop calculator, where you should be able to come in and say, I have this model in year of laptops.

AlexThey have that. They have it at the bottom. Oh, wait, you want a literal laptop, like a dropdown of, like...

MerlinShow me all the bags that will accommodate this device. That would be handy.

AlexI see. Okay, I'm picking up what you're putting down.

MerlinThe other thing, well, no, because you're coming in, you're like okay well um what is the thing i need what is this for more than anything so that's why i say at a minimum a laptop calculator but i think what would be useful is to say like okay well what kind of stuff do you carry around with you well i have this laptop i carry these kinds of things show me all the bags would be good for that and it could instantly say to you well the synapse seven is not going to fit all your shit um but it will also be cool you ever see those uh those drawings of like comparing building sizes in order by height you know what i mean oh yes yes yes you

MaxNo, I go the other way. I get a bag I like, and then I pack enough. I just pack the things that fit in that bag. Interesting. I guess that could work.

AlexYeah, what a...

MaxIt's at least 50-50 where I decide, like, a priority, like, what I want to bring on the trip, and then also, like, what I have room for in the bag.

MerlinHere's what you... If you're not already a Tombin user, something I feel the need to say out loud directly... The website's not terrible. What you will notice immediately when you go to this website is, holy fucking shit, this stuff is so costly. I guess, you know, at the time I bought my first Tom Binn bag, my first brain bag, at the time it was a little bit weird to spend that much on a backpack.

Speaker AI think that's becoming less weird, I feel like, today.

MerlinBut I just need you to know these things are built like a brick shithouse. These things are so durable. All their bags look so good for so long. it's all really really well made and like this is serious stuff this isn't going to be one of those alex cox like i'll buy it and just i'll buy seven and return six like these are really nice bags that's i just want to be clear because you could just look at this and go well that's a 300 jans sport it's like well no it's actually like really good and it's kind of like a whole system that works together it's really good max do you own this bag this rolly bag with the with the drawers

Yeah, that's my suitcase. Look at that thing.

AlexOkay. In the super secret text channel, we have the Zuka. What is this?

MaxThis is my suitcase, the Zuka Pro Travel. It's the second one. I put the wrong one in first.

AlexOh, yeah. Look at that.

MaxThis thing is small. That's the first thing you have to know about it.

AlexI've seen it.

MaxIt goes in the overhead compartment.

AlexYeah, it's a little guy.

MaxSo I just went and looked this up. I bought this bag in 2013, and I've been using it every month since then. That's not that expensive by nice suitcase standards at all.

AlexYeah, that is a brain bag amount of money.

MerlinWell, I mean, I would say the $300 suitcase, not bad.

AlexNot at all, no.

MaxYou can spend a lot on a suitcase. It's basically a big metal cube, and it has like a fabric zipper layer around it. and it has skateboard wheels on the bottom, so the rolling on it is just so smooth. Unbelievable. And then this metal arm comes up and pops out. And a couple things I like about this bag, you can sit on it. Love that. It's a chair. You can even get a seat cushion for it.

MerlinLook at that. That's so cute. They literally sell a seat cushion for a seat.

AlexAnything's a chair if you really want it to be.

MaxIf you're hungry enough, yeah. Let's say that you're stuck at the airport and you need a place to work, you sit down in a chair, you pull this thing up and now it becomes your desk, your laptop stand. That's the other nice thing with it. And then inside, it just comes with packing cubes. There's no, there's nothing inside of the suitcase. It's just, it's just an empty rectangle. This is, this is bag in a bag writ large. This is my life. This is my whole life. Now inside of here, I also put the, what else did I put in the super secret channel? The Redox Tri-Fold Toiletry Shave Kit.

Their stuff is really hardy. Uh, that's a very expensive shave kit, but it just is. Look at, you have to look at, look at this picture where it's all expanded out.

AlexSee, I actually dis, okay, so this is, this shave kit is about a hundred bucks, but.

MaxYou get into the hotel, you hang that.

AlexYes.

MaxIn the, in the bathroom.

AlexThis is, uh, I, I learned this actually. It's called a, a skiff, a spiff. I, no, I guess I didn't learn it.

MaxA secure information area.

Alexbut but i've seen far more uh it might surprise people to know that i look at many bags on the internet um but like uh merlin you've you've said this more and more the wire cutter which is supposed to tell you what the best thing is the the best thing for most people and then the upgrade to the best thing it it isn't that anymore it's all it's like here's the discount i don't i can't

Merlindecide if they've changed or I have, but it's just so frustrating. And I've talked about this with y'all and with some other sort of insider Slack friends. And the way that I would phrase this is when I go and look up something that I know something about on Wirecutter, this is a good test for lots of things. When I go and look up something that I know even a little bit about and I go, huh, you really cheaped out on this one. Like I'm not saying, I mean, I used to love the thing where Wired would say, Wired always had those three levels, right?

Where it would be like the one most people should get, the cheap version, and the version if you want to, like, money's not an object, which I actually think is a pretty good way to evaluate most consumer goods. Where you just want, if you want to read one thing about it, like, just give me, give me the top line, the log line on this. If this is something I'm, like, tell me the one that my smartest friend would tell me to buy regardless of price. Let me know if it's something I don't care that much about, what's the cheapest one I can get away with? I feel like they've really smashed the bell curve sometimes on Wirecutter

where you're like, the cheap one's not that much cheaper and the nice one's not that much nicer. And it's like, it's not that I don't trust them, but the fact that they're based entirely on affiliate links is something to always keep in mind.

And yeah, it's really frustrating sometimes where you're like, I don't know, man. Like that's not super helpful. I want to know what my smartest friend would tell me to get based on what they know about me.

AlexYep. I have.

MerlinIs that, I mean, but you say you don't trust. Why do you not trust them? What?

AlexBecause I know a whole fucking lot about iPhone cases. I know how the molds are made. I know what the places where the air pockets actually should go. So if you drop your phone, it's not going to, there's certain things that will get broken. Like, do you want, is it more important to you that your screen is broken or your camera? Or is it more important that, like, the CPU is damaged?

MerlinIt depends on what you would, you're saying this air pocket business is deciding which part you want to focus on for protection.

AlexLike, do you, yeah, exactly. Like, would you be okay with the battery being damaged? Like, stuff like that. And all of the battery cases, sorry, all of the iPhone cases they recommend are bullshit, except for the fancy version is the Apple leather case, which I agree is a nice case if all you want is a grip.

MerlinIf I'm not using the battery pack, that's definitely my pick. I love the battery pack. I love the heft of it.

AlexYes, and they don't even have it. They don't even, yes, it's perfect.

MerlinI swear to God, Alex, when I take out my phone on the rare occasion where I run down, my pack is dead, and I want to plug that in, I swear to Christ, it's like somebody handed me a wet bar of soap. My iPhone instantly slips out of my hand. It takes effort to hold it. It's so dumb.

AlexIt's too slick. Wait, wait, wait. The battery pack?

MerlinThe naked robotic core is too slick.

AlexOh, oh, yeah, no, no, no, no. It's not even a I want to be cool and not have a case. it's a it's literally uncomfortable I just meh meh meh meh anyway sorry I like this Max do you keep this packed

Merlinand refilled or do you pack per trip do you have a how do you work

Maxthis only clothing gets packed per trip okay everything else is packed all the time but you got all your gear stuff like ready to go in there yep ready to go do you

Alexhow do you do that with like like toothbrush it I mean I guess like nothing

Maxexpires but well actually you know what i only have i only have one toothbrush and that's the one thing that does need to go i have a i have like an expensive toothbrush that's like my last proprietary charger is my toothbrush oh my fucking toothbrush uses a a usb mini you guys travel with

Alexa powered toothbrush for really long trips yeah i feel nasty otherwise yeah i don't know i guess

MaxI don't have to, but I own it. I want to use it. Why not?

MerlinOh, absolutely. No, no, no. I'm not trying to shame you. I just love the benefit of this process where this is bumping right up against my, what I like to call, bulwark against madness territory, where I have to keep the right level of sanity in how I approach this. And we've talked about this a million times, but this has been such a big deal in my life. The banker's box full of travel things. The banker's box full of travel things. Not the suitcase, because the suitcase will vary depending on where I'm going, right? But that means I've got a toiletry kit. Actually, it's one of those old school 9-11 era travel, like, you know, toiletries bag that's clear, you know, from back in the day when you had to have clear bags.

And that's perma-packed. And so, like, before I leave and when I come back, I refill everything, right? That's got a toothbrush. That's got all the stuff in it. All the, you know, they're called toiletries. I've got my dad shirt, my dad hat. I've got the cable bag. Like, the thing is, like, once you move to this lifestyle, you don't do it all at once. But, like, just having all of that stuff, making a dedication to yourself to say, first of all, I'm going to make sure all of my travel stuff, if I had to leave right in, like, five minutes, I could pack a suitcase mostly. Because all the stuff I know I'll need is here.

And then my suggestion, two parts. And they both cost a little money. But my two suggestions are, like, start thinking about bag in a bag. because that is going to be your savior, is that you have a box of bags, and all you have to do is you could, without looking, you should be able to dump those into a suitcase and run out the door.

Speaker AYep.

MerlinSo that's part one is like thinking back in a bag because that's also going to help you a lot in the hotel. You don't have to put your clothes, you know, raw dog them in those disgusting drawers. Like you could put stuff in there. But then the other part that I think is valuable, and this is going to be a little bit costly, is to slowly build out a completely travel-only tech bag.

AlexWell, and I think that's sort of the beauty of a bag-in-a-bag because that took me a while to acquire all of that stuff because it is costly to have nice cables.

MerlinIt's costly, but you also have to learn. It's going to take you three trips before you realize what you actually need. The first trip, you're going to forget tons of stuff probably if you try to do this. Oh, for sure. But in the second or third trip, you're going to go, holy shit, I really don't need the HDMI cables and the hard drive every time I go somewhere by myself. You know what I mean? You've got to find the balance of, but like the thing more than anything else is so important to my sanity is to know that to close to a certainty, I should be able to even just do a quick review of this, open everything up, look real quick, never use any of these cables for anything but travel.

Like not even once. Like don't grab a dongle out of there. Get a second one. That sounds crazy. But if you have, you should be able to just trust that everything you'll need is right there. That's such a good feeling.

AlexWell, but that's why, I mean, I don't want to spend another fucking $70 on a watch cable. Sorry, what's a good example of something that I wouldn't have a duplicate of? Like a hard drive?

MerlinWell, I mean, so you've got stuff like lightning cables and USB-C cables. Those are easy enough to pile up. No, no. But what you don't want to have is like three of something obscure you don't need. Like if you don't need a third Toslink optical cable, like you probably don't need that, right? I don't even know what that is. It's an optical cable. It's a, you know. Oh, no, my optical cable.

AlexOh, no. Oh, no. But I, well, what I have is my EDC and that has all of the bags within the bags. and a couple, I think it was last Christmas actually, I got a brain bag from my parents because they're like, well, now you'll visit more because you have a bigger bag. Yeah, I know, it's cute.

MerlinAren't you morally opposed to having a bag that big?

AlexWell, no, no, no, because I use that as my suitcase. Like I just put, wait, wait, what? You're so goddamn weird. Wait, why is that weird? If I'm just going to my parents for the weekend.

MerlinSo if you check that, when you check that on a flight, that feels very secure?

AlexNo, no, no. Oh, okay. No, no, no. Yes, sometimes on trips.

MerlinI think you use it as a backpack is what you're saying.

AlexYou use the backpack as a backpack. I use it as a suitcase in the normal sense of anything.

MerlinYou put all your dress shirts in there nice and folded up?

AlexNo, no, no. What about your neckties? I'm the jazz girl.

MerlinYour brogues? What about your brogues?

MaxDo you put your brogues in there? For a weekend trip. Alex, why don't you, what if you just got a big trash bag? Well, that's. It's good. It's called a trash luggage.

MerlinIt's a trash. Yes, this is my luggage. This is my formal luggage. I have these white ones for the summer. I get these white hefty bags. It's not a backpack. It's a suitcase. I put a low heel in there, a little kitten heel.

AlexWith my dress shirts. You done? You done? You done? No? No?

MerlinNo, keep going. No. So, oh, mom bought your brain bag. You visit us more because brain bag.

Alexno I just there's enough to put a packing cube in there I was trying to see you I was there feeding

Merlinyou Jack feeding you I'm trying to get you back on your point whatever it is which is that your mom gave you a backpack that's actually a suitcase and you don't use trash bags because you're the

Alexjazz girl what the fuck is happening no I'm saying that I take because I have so many bags in a bag and I have like my little my I have like my little sock uh cubelet that's always ready to go like That is my go bag for a weekend. Does that make sense? It lives in my closet. And then I'm like, oh, if I need to go anywhere for a weekend, I know.

MerlinYou've thought enough ahead to know that. This thing that I call, I call this my suitcase because this is exactly what I will need in most situations. You have packed a small bag is what I'm getting from you here.

AlexYes. But if it's a whole, like I have a number of, thank you, Chris Lawley, for giving me this idea. Thank you, Chris Lawley. Yeah, he's a friend of the show.

MaxI think we all thank Chris Lawley. Oh, yes. Thank Chris for Chris.

AlexEveryone thank Chris Lawley. Well, I have a little button that creates a shortcut that creates a template for a packing list. So I can choose either a work trip, and then I choose how many days I'll be gone, and my transportation. And then it populates it in things, everything that I need to pack. and then I can do the same. I have another one for visiting parents or another one for, I don't know, what's my,

the other one, oh, visiting.

MerlinOh, when you go with your partner, you get the Wolverine top job. Hey Siri, Wolverine top job.

Thank you.

Show notes

Transcript

176. Wolverine Top Job

Show notes

Transcript

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