173. Minecraft Holmes

AlexThis is Do By Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Merlin Mann, Alex Cox, and Max Deppkin. This week's challenge, watch the season premiere of Survivor, Winners at War.

MerlinCheck, check, check. Hello, hello, hello.

AlexI'm sorry I broke your studio. uh okay all right here keep talking do you need a million dollars uh for breakfast it's my pc i had caffeine pills and i'm a diet coke okay you're you're just kind of jumping right in here and i'm while i'm still setting up is that what you're doing you you said to keep talking i thought we

Maxwere checking levels i'm sorry okay okay okay i'm a pc pre i think it might be my pc pre

Merlinsee i get the right balance that's a little better hey I don't like that. I don't like starting out like that. I feel cursed.

AlexNo. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

MerlinShould we restart restart? Or is this the show?

AlexThis is the show. Unless you don't mind. It's the show.

MerlinAlex and Marla free show. Ooh. Yeah. Ooh. So, Alex, tell me about your breakfast. You had caffeine pills and what else?

AlexOh. You don't do. I guess you don't do that. But on the radio, when they're testing levels. Oh, yeah. You ask people what they have for breakfast.

MerlinYeah.

AlexAnd I had caffeine pills and Diet Coke.

MerlinI always ask people the last thing they masturbated to.

AlexOh. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Hmm. That went nowhere. Yep. Nope. Nope. Not going to do it. Not going to do it. Not going to do it.

MerlinWe're into season six of Grey's Anatomy now.

AlexOh, boy. Oh, boy. You're going to meet. Oh, you already have met the lesbians.

MerlinOh, yeah.

AlexYeah, yeah, yeah.

MerlinWe met Arizona. We met everybody. You know, she's not named after the state. She's named after the ship.

AlexYes, yes.

MerlinShe tells Hector Elizondo that.

AlexMm-hmm. She's a good man in a storm. Yeah.

MerlinI don't know. I miss George.

AlexOh, George.

MerlinThat one season-ending episode with him and Izzy, damn.

AlexMm-hmm.

MerlinThat was some shit.

AlexMm-hmm. Woof. Yep, yep.

MerlinThat's the only thing that ever made me feel on that show.

AlexReally? Come on.

MerlinOh, the show's terrible. It's a terrible show.

AlexIt is a terrible show.

MerlinBut the scene when the elevator door opens. I was describing it to my wife and I cried a little bit. So corny. Why did that get me?

AlexYou know what? I think it's because it's very Doctor Who. That scene especially.

MerlinWait a minute. Let me think about that. Yes, it is. Yeah, because it reminded me of something too. You know what it is also? We thought we'd never see George again and then we did. And he's wearing his uniform.

AlexOh, God. It's like when Eleven walks back and you don't think that it's going to be him. You think it's going to be Twelve. And then, oh, that's, oh, man, now I need to watch that episode.

MerlinIt's like all the Doctor Whos. It's like all the Doctors Who. It's like when Riversong is explaining that, you know, Gallifrey, they don't have a word for this. And then the thing's still catching up. And then you're like, oh, I cry and cry every time. When a good man goes to war. Boy, that's another dumb show that I love so much.

AlexI haven't caught up to, I'm a little sexist. I haven't seen much of The Lady Doctor.

MerlinI am so sexist because I watched, I think, if I watched the first two episodes of last season, I'd be surprised. I did not, I didn't dislike it, but I didn't get into it. Like, I loved her, but the show was not grabbing me. And now I'm two seasons behind.

AlexYeah, I don't know. I think that we didn't appreciate Stephen Moffat enough. That's. Really? Mm-hmm. I think.

MerlinWow.

AlexUs woke social justice warriors scared him away. That's.

MerlinMm-hmm. Is he a gay man?

AlexNo, that was the other guy who.

MerlinNo, I know, Mark Gattis.

AlexYeah. But like. No, no, no. Russell T. Davies.

MerlinOh, well, he was a gay man too.

AlexYeah, and his partner died.

MerlinBut yeah, Mark Gattis is a gay man.

AlexYes.

MerlinMinecraft? Minecraft Holmes?

AlexYeah.

Merlinwhen she was little she used to say minecraft when she meant minecraft oh that's so i mean

Alexhe is very boxy like he's a very skinny block he just fits right in there i love oh i'm still

Merlingetting set up here uh i love i love oof i love both those shows yeah i don't know i mean there's something about Doctor Who that is, especially the Moffat stuff, that is such a double-edged sword. I mean, on the one hand, he obviously loves Doctor Who so much, and he loves being able to pick up threads of Doctor Who that nobody else has picked up. Sort of in a similar way to like what Damon Lindelof and team did with Hooded Justice. You're like, well, that's kind of an

interesting thing that's been sitting in plain sight. What do we do with that? That doesn't always have to be Daleks and Cybermen. But when you do Daleks and Cybermen, there's ways to twist that up. You're like, oh my god. You know, that's who's the brown-haired girl? I don't know. I was thinking Clara. Oh yeah.

AlexThe impossible girl.

MerlinThe impossible girl. The souffle girl. But see, even all of that stuff. It's so dumb. And it just keeps there's more and more. Does everybody have to be a somebody the boy who lived and the girl who souffled and all those dumb things? and like why did she why she why she three different characters and something about the time stream and trends allure and like oh you're meeting riversong backwards but you're married and it's like it's all so stupid but it has so if you're open to it in this shameful way it has

Alexso many that's sobbing payoffs oh together or not at all it's so terrible is this what it's

Merlinlike to be into anime is this what anime is like oh i don't know i wonder well yeah do you mean pokemon because because it really just looks like it looks like boys with spiky hair throwing fire all the time i figure there must be something more to it is it tasteful nudes maybe maybe it's

Alexthe well tasteful i don't know if that's the right word but maybe it's the pillows too like

Merlini don't know i really oh where you get a pillow that looks like an anime boy or girl or or girl

AlexI've seen mostly girls.

MerlinI got that Jar Jar Binks hair a lot of the time. Is that the only movie I'm thinking of? What am I thinking of?

AlexI don't know. I don't know.

MerlinYou can fuck it. It's a pillow. I've been watching a lot of small Japanese house videos.

AlexSmall Japanese house video. Okay. Small, like they're small Japanese people or it's a small Japanese house?

MerlinIt's not that confusing of a language. I've been watching a lot of videos of houses in Japan that are small that have people in them.

AlexOkay. Well, that would have been a less confusing sentence.

MerlinHi. I watch those. I watch a lot of things about vans.

AlexSee, do you mean the shoe or the car? It's very confusing.

MerlinYou need a disambiguation page.

AlexIt'll be in the show notes.

MerlinSo let me grab my coffee. Tell me what's up with you. Oh, I did have a question for you, but tell me what's up with you. What's going on?

AlexUm, well, I'm wondering if Max is alive. I'm really enjoying my Diet Coke.

MerlinIf you want to be on the show, you have to come to the show.

AlexYou have to be on the show.

MaxWhoever's on the show is on the show.

MerlinWho is it, Jack Kerouac? Or one of the beats always said you're either on the bus or off the bus. And right now he's off the fucking bus.

AlexYep, no wagons here. Okay, all right, got that, got that. Okay.

MaxHa ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

MerlinHa, ha, ha. So.

AlexIs there like a seltzer situation going on? You seem very frenzied.

MerlinNo, listen. Listen, I slept later than I should have.

AlexOh.

MerlinOh, I slept pretty good. I did the thing where I fell asleep on the couch watching TV, and I woke up, and I went, ha, ha, ha. And then I went to bed, but I wasn't worried about it because I'm the sky, not the weather. And then, but I did wake up kind of late, like after 7.30,

Alexand so I was a little bit like getting in the office.

MerlinBut I assume, perhaps erroneously, that Max would be not punctual. So I think I nailed it. So I'm still putting together. I'm fixing my mic. Every time I play guitar, it throws off my pre-PC balance, I think. And then I have to go back and fix my pre-PC. Otherwise, I can't hear myself.

AlexYeah, we kind of got cooked there. Here you're doing some music stuff. Talking about it on other shows.

MerlinSo if you heard back to work, back to work on Tuesday, I couldn't hear myself at all. And I think it might have been my pre-PC balance.

AlexYou know what I'm talking about? No, not even a little bit.

MerlinSo when you're on the USB pre-2.

AlexYes.

MerlinAnd actually, you used to get these on like four-track recorders too. There's a dial called pre-PC. and it adjusts the balance of the amount that's coming from your side versus what you're getting from the PC. So it's how much of one person versus the other.

AlexYou're hearing your key hands, I think. Okay.

MerlinBut I'm not sure.

AlexSo why would you need that?

MerlinGod, this is boring. I'm so sorry. Because I guess that's probably a simplified way to not need five different dials for how much of stuff you're getting in your headphones,

Alexbut I don't know. Oh, all right.

MerlinThe thing is, have you seen a USB pre too?

AlexYes, I have. They look very pretty.

MerlinIt's hard to touch it without changing something.

AlexYeah, it frightens me a little bit.

MerlinNo matter where you grab it, you're either going to unplug something or hit a button.

AlexI do like that. Let's say in this genre of a certain podcast, let's say a bunch of tech people on the same network have all the same equipment. And I feel like there's like a glass window around most of their equipment. Like never going to touch it. Just never, ever going to touch it.

MerlinOh, if I had my druthers, I would. I finally bought a separate box, pardon my saying, for my guitar. So to make it easier to go. I got an ID4, it's called. And so now, yeah, I'm doing a song a day. It's very exciting.

AlexWhat now?

MerlinNo, no, no, no, no, no, no.

AlexThey're not for you.

MerlinThey're not for you. It's for me. And they're not for you.

AlexIt's for me.

MerlinFor you, it's for me. It's me getting back into the swing. So I'm doing all my covers that I do to burn it off.

AlexSo you change strings? What gauge are you at?

MerlinLet's see, 10 to 42 on the electric.

AlexAnd hey, it's Max. Just a time to talk about the guitar string gauges.

MerlinWhat kind of gauges do you like?

AlexHonestly, I go to my guy and I'm like, here's what my calluses look like. What string should I be using? And then they're like, something, something gauge. and I just let him do it. You play guitar? Yeah. It's for me. It's not for us. It's not for you.

MerlinThe new guy, my new guy has been moving me towards lighter gauge strings, but he's also a little bit, judgmental is too strong a word. He's definitely very editorial about musical instrument. Oh God, is he going to fucking eat on the air again?

AlexOh, did they have jelly?

MerlinWas it the crinkling? Max, don't eat on the air, buddy.

MaxIt's so gross. I'm going to mute myself and then you can't hear. eating the bagel.

MerlinGreat, then we'll have the eating in the room sound. Ah!

AlexOh.

MerlinSo he agreed to restring and clean up my acoustic and my usual electric. And I was like, you know, I've also got this Gretsch guitar lately. And he got a little bit, I don't know, he's like, hmm, yeah, I used to have one of those and I didn't really like it. I'm like, oh, yeah, but can you string it up for me? He's like, the strings are kind of, it's sort of hard to play. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, but I mean, so, you know, it's really fun. Because you know what I'm talking about. It's like it looks like a tenor or a baritone ukulele, but it's a six-string guitar.

And they're great. And you can just have one in the living room and play it. And he's like. I mean, you could bring it in. And it was like I said, hey, I just found something brown in my toilet. Can I put it in a box and have you touch it? I guess that's conceivable. I'm not a fan.

AlexIt's like you brought your Samsung phone with your Mac into an Apple store. And they're like, oh, well.

MerlinI can make this into bookends for you. but then I made a second trip. I got back on my Segway, and believe me, it looks so cool carrying two guitars on the Segway. Oh, boy. So while he was still processing me at the music store, don't be creepy, I was able to buzz home, grab the guitar, Laylee, and then bring that back and look at it. And then he went like this. like this.

Ah! It comes. Curse a real sword?

AlexWere you doing this in a closet? What?

MerlinWhat kind of sword? A real sword? All right. Okay. Have you ever heard of that one? How to Curse a Real Sword?

AlexFrom Mabinayam?

MerlinHave you ever heard that one? Yeah. Have you seen the animatic with the Adventure Time characters?

AlexOh, yeah. Just checking.

MerlinYou weren't laughing at my bit. Like a real fighting sword.

AlexThey make me so happy.

MerlinSo I'm all set up. I have a new really cool guitar cable I'm going to start using today.

AlexI'm pumped about that. Gold plated?

MerlinYeah, I want to get the gold-plated. If you're going to get HDMI, you're going to really want to get the gold Ethernet cables to go with it. You can tie them together and beat the shit out of your Samsung phone. My daughter has asked me to ask you, now that she's into the lifestyle, she wants a rhino shirt like you were wearing when we met you. Are you able to share offline with me where she can get a rhino shirt?

AlexA rhino shirt? Oh, my rhinos! Yes, of course.

MerlinWill you share that with me offline?

AlexMm-hmm, I will. It's quite a boutique. Okay. Yeah.

MerlinSo that's good. Hey, Max. How's it going, buddy? Hey, what's going on? How's the cafe? No, don't.

MaxI feel like I got a second job working at a restaurant.

MerlinThat was a bad idea. You already run a company.

MaxYeah. Oh, no, you don't need that. Yeah. I was on the radio. Maybe I'll figure out how to put this in the show notes. I did a radio show. I'm doing a lot of media to promote the cafe, and then also going to the cafe to host and whatever, help out with stuff. So it's a lot of late nights and early mornings and stuff, and I was out Monday night. I was on WGN, which is the local AM radio station.

It's like the AM radio station that has all the Chicago sports on it, so it's like the main one.

MerlinI had it. I had it on my cable system, this TV version.

MaxOh, there you go. It's a very popular station. Yeah. That's a big deal. I was on with Justin Kaufman talking about the cafe, and it's like a call-in show. It's like one of those, like before I came in, he was like popping off about the Cubs, and he's like, call in with your thoughts on this, I don't know, pitcher. Probably Kara was on the other line frantically. Punching numbers. I have opinions.

AlexI have opinions. I got to get through to this asshole.

MaxBut I was trying to think of a funny person to call in, and I was like, I would like, if there's a Michael Bloomberg supporter out there listening to this, I would like them to call in because I don't believe that you're real. I would love to hear from a Michael Bloomberg supporter, a real Bloomhead.

And sure enough, this guy calls in and he's like, it's, I don't know what he's like, it's Larry from Bloomberg or from, I don't know, from some Bloomington or something. And he's a Bloomberg

Merlinsupporter. I think his name, let me give you a Felix name. How about Torrance Porch? Yes.

MaxAnd he's a big, he's like my, he's like, he's like my sons told me all about him and he did great things for New York. And I was like, and I was like, let me stop you right there. You are not a real person. You sound like a computer program. And if I tell you, if I told you a riddle right now, I think you would explode. And he goes, and he goes, no, I am a real person.

MerlinI'm real.

MaxI'm a real boy. And I said, quickly, I said, quickly, quickly, what did you have for dinner? And he goes, baked chicken. and I was like yeah but if I made a computer program that was like calling radio shows to support me for president and it was asked what it would have for dinner I definitely I wouldn't think too hard about it I'd go I don't know baked chicken

Merlinnaming a food does not prove you don't you're not turning complete if all you do is name something and how it's prepared that definitely sounded

MaxI think that's getting that off of GPT too I think it's all made up

Merlinvegetables with seasoning I had food from a box that was warm Bloomberg

Maxyou know what

Merlinif Alex called

Maxinto radio that's what I was thinking if Alex called into radio and was like I support Michael Bloomberg and I'm a real person and I'd be like Alex what did you have for dinner last night

Alexbut that's the thing I would have not send bolts

Maxno no not send bolts ha ha ha what did you have for dinner last night

Alexdo you actually I had a spoonful of peanut butter oh god I'd be like

Maxwell you couldn't no AI could come up with that yeah

Merlinyou're such a cliche of alex cox

Alexi don't even know what that means i don't know you're like your own super fan you're so fucking

Merlinweird oh god i love it what'd you have for dinner last night max quick don't think it also also identify crosswalks identify traffic lights what did you eat

Maxyou know my least favorite one of those is when you need to click when you're trying to click on all the crosswalks or the bridges or something yeah and then it goes away and it fades back

Merlinreal slowly and it fades back and you're like come on i'm trying to look at my fucking bank account or something i know i know this is already a cliche of a joke it's like at almost at airline food level lowness of humor but it does drive me crazy I'm just going to say this it really grinds my gears when I know that the thing I know that thing is they want me to identify that as a crosswalk but that's not a crosswalk that's not part of the crosswalk if that were a crosswalk

that person would be dead

Maxjust because there's lines there does not make that a crosswalk one of the big ones for me in that category is awnings when it asks you to identify the awnings and I'm like What the fuck does this thing think an awning is? Like you're looking at some like an umbrella over a cafe table and you're like, does it think that's an awning? Am I supposed to say yes or no to that?

MerlinOh.

MaxYou know what?

MerlinThey should let us do this. This would be a good project for us. It would be stuff like identify the bistro. Well. Now identify the fast casual dining.

MaxNow identify the restaurant. I'm sure you know this, but they don't actually care about you proving you're a human. What they're doing is have your training machine.

MerlinYeah. Yeah. Yeah.

MaxComputer vision.

MerlinWhich one of these women has resting bitch face? We don't like her.

AlexI wish there was like a USB-C cable versus a Thunderbolt 3 cable. If you're buying an iPhone, you should have to do that.

MerlinYou should dump your gender show and just do cable or not.

MaxI'm telling you, I really want to do the show. I really want to make a show about cables called Cable News. Yeah, you've been talking about this forever.

MerlinWhy is no one doing this show with you? I don't know. It doesn't have to be regular. It could be as available. You know what I'm saying? I know. I can't have a... Cable News. And would it be with Cable Sasser?

MaxOh, that's a get.

MerlinThat would be the dream. And Robert News. That's a big get. That would be great. I had Chinese food. We tried a new Chinese place last night. And it was such an important thing to find in your life. is the absolute highest quality shitty Chinese food. You can get nice Chinese food that may not be very good, but if you can find shitty Chinese food that's extremely good, do you know what I'm talking about? There's empirically crappy Chinese food. There's a class of Chinese food that I would call cheap Chinese food. If you get the really good cheap Chinese food, oh, man, it's a dream.

I had sesame chicken last night.

MaxWoof. I love a – I mean, I would – okay, I'm going to use my sort of like Chipotle logic here of like, I love Chipotle. I don't think that it's Mexican food. I think it's its own thing, right? But I really enjoy eating it. It's very similar with the American Chinese food. That would be, you know what, Max, sorry, I'll let you continue. That would be a great captcha.

AlexThat would!

MaxIs this Mexican food?

MerlinWas this prepared fresh? Does it have E. coli?

MaxI know that sesame chicken and broccoli is not real Chinese food. I know that it's kind of its own thing. Egg for young?

MerlinReally?

MaxGod, it's so good, though.

MerlinWhat a great category of food, though. Oh, man. Chinese preparations, they jam so much fucking flavor into a protein and a starch.

MaxAnd it's the greatest.

MerlinIt's absolutely the greatest.

MaxSome of those, you know, San Francisco's got a really good dim sum scene. Some of those dim sum places downtown in San Francisco, some of the best dim sum I've ever had. They do interrupt a lot, though, which I don't like.

MerlinOh, with the little carts? There's a lot of interrupting and there's a lot of cart jamming where they really want to get in there.

AlexIt's all full sales. I never know what to do when they do that.

MaxYeah, you're in the middle of eating. No, I don't want the duck face. Thank you. You're eating your chicken feet and they're like, can I interest you in a fried newspaper?

AlexYes, please.

MerlinWas this fork breaded in a gluten-free environment? Yes, please. I know it's a difficult question. Just identify the crosswalk, please.

MaxSo I went from doing the radio at night, and then that was it. Like I got home at like 11 or 12. And then I was on yesterday. We were on, was it yesterday? I don't know. Time is lost on meaning. 5.30 a.m. WCIU.

MerlinThis is the jam.

AlexWhat the fuck is WCIU?

MaxThat's like the one of the big morning. That's like the big morning TV show in Chicago.

MerlinYou're on the jam with Timmy and the IUD.

MaxAnd they brought, it's on TV. Oh, yeah. And so they had a dude come in. The remote team was there, and they would be like, you know, Aaron, Chef Aaron, like, made some, like, little plates for them. And I had, like, a 45-second segment, and he's like, yo. The guy was so funny. He, like, never said the name of the place right. He's like, yo, I'm here at the Chicago Boardroom Cafe with the co-creator Max Hemkin. Max, tell us where we're at. And I'm like, well, we're in our room where it's communal dining and you can come in and play party games.

And he goes, that's crazy, man. We're out here. It's Tuesday. Back to you. Give it away T-shirts and bumper stickers.

MerlinOh, God. Come on down. Free hysterectomies. It's happening. We're going to throw speakers at your head. Get inside the hot dog pool. He, like, comes up close to the camera. Get your autograph from the IUD.

MaxHe goes up close to the camera and he goes, we out here on a Tuesday. It's Tuesday, baby. I was like, what a delightfully generic thing to say. Like maybe when we're done with the podcast from now on, that'll be my new sign off. We're out here on a Wednesday or a Friday or whenever it comes out that week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a really good idea. You should do that.

I saw something amazing this week, which is Pornhub released the data set of the most searched for celebrities on Pornhub.

MerlinOh! I love Pornhub data so much. I think it's very interesting. When they do the maps by state and stuff, I fucking love this. I also love the phenomenon, side-side topic. I love the phenomenon of people slipping non-porn stuff onto Pornhub so it won't get taken down by YouTube. I did that.

MaxI put my Humans vs. Zombies documentary as a copyrighted song in it, and YouTube took it down and copyright struck me. And I wanted people to see it, so I put it on Pornhub. That's so good. But then they end up taking down a lot of the good stuff because of claims. It's a shame. And then so you were saying. Well, I have one. I'm going to be a pedant about one of those Pornhub things that you mentioned, which is when they do the, here's the most searched for thing in each state. It's actually, they're not showing you the most searched for thing in each state. It's the most searched for unique. Correct.

No one else had this at their top. Correct. So they're like, oh, in Kentucky, this was the highest thing that was in no other state's top one.

MerlinYeah, exactly.

MaxIt's like optimized for uniqueness.

MerlinIt's really misleading. I mean, those maps end up being, because America is fairly homogenized in so many ways, you're going to get a lot of dank milfs. That's just what they search for. Pornhub Insights.

MaxHere's something interesting. I was looking through this list of the most searched for people and celebrities and I had to go pretty far down the list to find someone that I knew. Well, there's a few like... Recognized or found attractive? No, that I literally knew their name.

MerlinOh, I see. So it's like Twitter moments when you find out that somebody from Twitch is divorcing from somebody on YouTube.

MaxNumber one by almost twice as much as the next person. Number one most searched for Belle Daphne.

AlexWait, are these porn stars?

MaxNo, these are celebrities. These are civilians.

AlexThese are celebs. All right, all right.

MaxWait, so are you looking at 2019 year in review? What are you looking at? I'm looking at, yeah, 2019 year in review. Okay, okay. So I, of course, had to know who Belle Daphne is. And do you remember when I got obsessed with the Gamer Bathwater girl?

AlexOh, no.

MaxThat's her.

AlexThat checks out.

MaxShe is that she, I guess, yeah, she is, what does she do? I see. Oh, shit. She's the fourth highest search overall? Yes.

MerlinWait. Wow.

MaxAlien is number two?

AlexI mean, he's tied.

MaxKim Kardashian, Cardi B, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj, Selena Gomez, Kylie Jenner. These are all people I know who are up at the top. but what about Lena the plug? Oh, Lena the plug. What?

AlexA slur for Lena Dunham?

MaxShorty El Nino Poya. You know how there's always those people's sexiest people alive? Isn't this in a way a more democratic version of this?

AlexThat's so true. Right? Oh my God.

MaxIt's kind of like, who do you want to crank your hog to by? And it's like the numbers tell no lies. If people want to crank their hog to Lena the plug, Lena the Plug is one of the people's she is one of the sexiest people this is why the service is provided wouldn't it be weird if you woke up one day and you opened the issue of people and it was people's sexiest people alive and you only recognized six of them literally never heard of the names you'd be like what happened was I slipped into a coma

MerlinI'm very upset it's beyond a joke at this point I'm so confused by fucking everything I take screenshots every day of Twitter moments of things just to show people I'm like, I don't know what any of this means. I've never heard of these platforms. I've never heard of these people. I've never heard of this apparently famous relationship that they have. And I couldn't possibly care less why they're no longer seeing each other. Why is it we only hear about it when fake celebrity couples break up? Why is that news? That's so goddamn weird.

MaxWhy? Do you guys know who S-S-S-Sniper Wolf is? S-S-Sniper Wolf.

MerlinNope.

MaxNope.

MerlinKorean, Japanese. Okay. straight guys daddy bareback black big tana tana mongau tana mongau here's here's an

Alexinteresting i find this very interesting i feel like i'm going into i feel like i'm going crazy

Maxlike i just like like i feel like i got planet of the apes who are these why are these people so

Alexfamous yeah youtube that's everybody want i got the first the first i want to be a youtuber when I grow up the other day and I was like, oh, oh no. I always thought that was a joke that like people were saying, oh, all these kids want to grow up to be YouTubers. No, they actually do. That's very strange to me.

MerlinIs it too simplistic to say that for my purposes, at least for now, can I just, when people say YouTube, can I just out substitute TV? Is it similar to the way I felt about TV when I was a youth?

AlexBut that's the thing. It's, they watch YouTube more than they do TV.

MerlinThat's why I'm saying it.

AlexThat's why I'm saying. Is it like saying I want to be a TV star?

MerlinI know.

AlexYes, yes. Okay, I see what you're saying. It is absolutely that.

MaxWhen I consume stuff from the 80s, there's novels and stuff. There's a lot of references to the boob tube and the dum-dums who watch TV. And to me, it's like, well, I don't think TV is that bad. I mean, is it that?

MerlinIt was, I've talked about this so many times. It was a huge thing in my life, always hanging over me about how much I love TV and how much my mom hated TV. And it was a constant battle. She'd always be cutting the plug off the end of the TV because I'd watch too much. Yeah, it was like your brain is going to rot. You're a smart kid. You're throwing your life away watching TV. What are you doing? That was very much like a theme hanging over our head.

AlexNo, but I think this is different.

MerlinAnd it's why Gen Xers are so weird with their kids about screens now. Yeah, that's true. I know coding is weird and apps suck and privacy is bad.

MaxBut everyone seemed to have this consensus in older, in maybe the 70s and 80s, that the content, that the stuff on TV was just like the dumbest of dumb, the lowest of garbage, the dregs of culture, just like absolute garbage. And I watch a lot of garbage TV. I mean, Survivor is a kind of a garbage TV. The Bachelor is certainly garbage TV. But I actually don't, is it that bad? I mean, maybe I'm like, I don't know. Survivor's not that bad to watch.

AlexNo, especially not the, I mean, spoilers for the challenge, but especially not this.

MerlinFor what it is, it's the best of the shit, for sure.

AlexI don't know.

MaxI'm getting something out of it, I think. No, you don't need to be weird about that, no.

AlexI think it's weird. Oh, right.

MaxBut, however, when I think of YouTube, I do think of YouTube as like, if you're watching hours of YouTube a day, you're wasting your life. Like, do not do that. YouTube is actual, YouTube is, you are eating out of the dumpster. YouTube is really bad.

MerlinReally? Even if you don't start out eating out of the dumpster, I think part of the problem is that when you watch a lot of it, as is increasingly well documented, it will take your preferences based on what you watched for how long and then show you increasingly more intense versions of whatever you started out with. Maybe I could be wrong, but this is what people say. You start off looking at Jordan Peterson, and then pretty soon you're watching Lenny Riefenstahl or whatever. Like, you don't know where it came from, and now if you have autoplay on, it's going to keep taking you into weirder and weirder things.

I just get shown more things about music in Vans.

AlexYeah.

MerlinWhich is a great Talking Heads record.

AlexYouTube thinks I'm very boring.

MaxI just think there's a dumbness. There's a, I don't know. Maybe I sound like an old man now, but there's a dumbness. No, but it's also pre-chewed.

MerlinThere's so much shit on there. And, like, the whole joke about, hey, guys, please remember to like and subscribe is because it's true. It's so thirsty. and you can just feel the calculation in every single video of like, oh, how much of this music can I include without getting a strike? Like I watched a video last night where they had three cover versions of songs in it. It was a video about how people who've written songs based on classical music and they had three different songs where they had to play the cover. God forbid you ever talk about the Eagles or it's going to get taken down, right? Anyway, but there's all those things

and you're like, you're just watching it and by the end it's like, I feel like I'm really just watching an ad for this person.

AlexWell, okay. One, you both do sound like old men.

MerlinI am old, Alex. That's how I'm still alive.

AlexIf I weren't old, I'd be dead. Do you know how that works?

MerlinHave you really thought that through?

AlexI really haven't, no. But two, if someone wants to be a YouTuber, they need to be really, really smart because they need to know how to game the algorithm. They need to, like Lindsay Ellis, she needs to know exactly how much she can put in her video before it gets taken down and how she can contest all of the weird copyright claims that aren't of an actual studio clip or something. And it's really fucking hard. But that's the weird thing about it to me is you're not aspiring to make a...

It's not like you want to be a blogger. You want to be a podcaster or even a video blogger. You want to be on this specific platform. It's like saying, I want to be a Viner, even though I know that was a thing.

MerlinWell, not everybody can be Lena the Plug.

AlexExactly.

MerlinI like how it says here. It says, like, I guess there's, so it has their name, and then it's got a couple words to give context for who they are. So you got Belle Delphine, social media. Kim Kardashian, media personality. Cardi B, artist. Lena the Plug, Lena the Plug. Social media, Ariana. So, you know what? This has an implicitly judgy hierarchy to it. So Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj and Selena Gomez are all artists. You know what?

I'm looking up S-S-S-Sniper Wolf. S-S-Sniper Wolf. She's social media. You got Rihanna. Tana Mungo.

AlexOh, see, I feel like this isn't fair. Lena the Plug seems to work for Pornhub, I think. Oh. Based on her Instagram. Like, oh, maybe not.

MerlinLike Ribby.

AlexOh, no. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

MaxThis, okay, so Sniper Wolf does like, she's kind of a cosplay. She posts like sort of thirst trap like cosplay, sort of thirst trap like cosplay pictures.

MerlinAlso, we should mention for the record, I think just because people search for these people does by no means indicate that there is porno of them on the site.

AlexIt does not say how to, if they complete it, if you. Excuse me, that's.

MerlinEven if they finish.

AlexYes, that's Sniper Wolf. I hate to say it, but she seems a little basic. She seems.

MerlinOh, Alina, the plug is nothing to write home about.

AlexOh, I agree.

MerlinNo, Lena the Plug looks like she works at a TCBY. You know. No, God bless her heart.

AlexOh, God.

MerlinShe shows her boobs. She covers her boobs. She shows her boobs. She covers her boobs. She poses next to a vagina in a tube. La, la, la. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Did you see the vagina in a tube? The Fleshlight Girls.

AlexI have gone.

MaxOkay.

AlexYep, don't look. Don't. S, S, S, S. Use DuckDuckGo. What about Lena the Plug?

MaxLet me learn about that. That one's. I'm going to find.

AlexI keep trying. I'm afraid to go into an investigation of the plug.

MerlinOh, Lena, the plug does, she does real porno things. Yes. Yeah, no, she. Oh, no, she has a penis in her mouth.

AlexOh, yep, exactly. Close the door. It's really easy to get there. It happened a little too fast.

MaxYou know what? That's one of my best, that's a great affectation that I really enjoy from The Sopranos, which is when. Oh. Yeah. So it's like they're all having dinner. They're all having dinner. And somebody says something a little saucy.

MerlinYeah, and AJ goes, Dad, pass me the fucking mashed potatoes.

MaxAnd then all his like capos are sitting at the table like, oh. Isn't that great?

MerlinI want to start doing it. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Wow. She shows her boobs. She hides her boobs. She shows her boobs. I know. She puts a penis in her mouth. She takes the penis out her mouth. She hides her boobs. She shows the boobs she's putting on her shoes. she's posing she's sitting sitting sitting with a thong upon a seat yeah and then she's on a penthouse cover with a man of meat oh my goodness oh boy i will not eat them in a box even if i get the hug i will not fuck lena the plug

Alexno

Merlinokay all right uh after show what no it's 36 minutes no no okay what was our challenge did

Alexwe have a challenge this week yes we had a chance what was it what was it watch the season premiere of Survivor. Oh, fuck yeah. I did that. Oh, I did that. Yeah, yeah. It was good.

Have I told you my other favorite thing

Maxthat I like from a TV show? No. I've tried to kind of work it into my life, which is on, there's this Japanese show on Netflix called Terrace House. Has anyone gotten into that?

MerlinYes. I've heard great things.

MaxSo it's sort of similar to almost like, maybe like a big brother or something,

AlexBut like wholesome.

MaxIt's extremely wholesome. So it's these young sort of 20-somethings, and they're all invited to live in this very posh house in a city somewhere. And they don't get locked in the house or anything like that. They go about their lives and they work. But it's kind of a dating show. They can date each other and things like that. But because it's Japanese, it's very respectful, and it doesn't tend to explode into conflict in the same way as American reality TV.

MerlinThey don't have a champagne fuck chamber.

MaxNo, it's very all sort of very...

MerlinCome on down to Coitus Island.

MaxIt's all sort of very...

MerlinPenetration village. It's very sort of pleasant. I just... Yes. I find it like very soothing. I've heard it's very mannered. Yes. Oh, that's a good way. It's classy. Yes.

MaxAnd one of the things is someone will go... They'll have a... They'll be like, we need to have a conversation. And they sit down at the table and goes, yesterday you came home from work and you ate my leftovers in the refrigerator. and those leftovers were important to me because I was saving them for this thing. And the guy will go, even if the person being accused agrees, doesn't agree, he'll go,

Alexhmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

MaxAnd it's sort of a respectful, it's like, I am listening to you. You know what it is? It's the Japanese Barbero. It's the John Roderick thing. You're saying Roger, but not Roger Wilco.

MerlinOh, yeah, like I heard you. It doesn't mean I'm going to do it. Right. Okay, I thought it was more like a Michael Barbero. I'll go, hmm.

MaxAnd I've tried to kind of pepper that in. Someone goes. That's good. Someone will go, I am very upset to be working in this office, and I don't think I can respond to my job because we do not have the right flavors of LaCroix in the refrigerator. And I'll go, hmm.

MerlinWow, wait a minute.

MaxWas that you just now?

MerlinHoly shit, that was really effective. Whoa, do it again. Do it again. Hey, come on. It's too cold in here. I can't wear a sweater because of my arms. Oh, my God.

MaxThat was effective.

MerlinOh, shit. You know, you just upped your game. You should do a seminar. You should do a seminar on this. You should teach a class. Isn't it good?

MaxNope.

MerlinIt's so good. And because it's Japanese, it's not covered by copyright. Oh, can't copyright strike that? Nope, nope, nope. That was in the Magna Carta. You win. Holy shit. Yeah. I think it's good.

MaxI like that it also like, it like buys you a moment in conversation to like not say the first dumb thing you think of.

MerlinThere's a line in the original series of Mystery Science Theater 3000 that there's so many lines that go through my head. I'm gonna give you a few of mine that just go through my head. Okay. So one of them is there's a wonderful scene in a wonderful episode where I think it was Crow says to Joel, I think he's talking about Christmas or something. He goes, I want to control who lives and who dies. And then Joel goes, oh, I don't know. I think about that a lot. Oh, I don't know. Or in The Simpsons, there's the bit at the car show or the boat show or whatever,

there's the girl by the cars, and men keep coming up and going, do you come with the car?

AlexAnd she goes, oh, you.

MerlinAnd then another man comes up and says, do you come with the car? And she goes, oh, you. There's hundreds of these that I think about, use, and actually frequently deploy. because sometimes, you know, TV teaches us how to respond. And in fact, in Max's case, how to manage others.

Merlin, is that like the wizard? Yeah, like the wizard. No, you go, oh, you. No, do it again. Do it again. Do it again. Give me a second one. Merlin, what is that? Like the wizard? Oh, you.

That's pretty good. I like that. Do it one more time.

MaxMerlin, you going to cast a spell on me? I fucked your mother.

MerlinLike the wizard. Please remember to like and subscribe.

MaxDo not look up Sniper Wolf. That's my advice. Do not look up Sniper Wolf at work. 27 years old, England. Probably should have said this earlier in the program, but do not look these people up at work. Now, what about Lena the Plug? Do you recommend looking up Lena the Plug?

MerlinWhy is she the plug?

MaxI showed it to Alex. I judged it appropriate enough to show Alex. Yeah, it's not. I looked at her Instagram, and I judged it. Oh, no, wait. No, no, no. Excuse me.

AlexYou don't want to look up Lena the Plug. Sniper is fine. No, I'm sorry.

MaxExcuse me. I had this all backwards. I showed Alex Sniper Wolf because I judged that appropriate.

AlexIt's pretty normal. Do not look up Lena the Plug. It's like a peekaboo of nipples, kind of, like if you go to images.

MerlinWell, she had a penis in her mouth when I looked at the Pornhub. And the problem is the thing is the great thing to keep you off of the Pornhub is knowing that you will eventually see a large square ad of Elsa from Frozen with very big boobs looking like she's scared.

AlexOh, no. It's this look of fear that I don't like, and that makes me close the window. Oh, no.

MerlinEven if I plow deeply into a search on Lena the Plug, I get that, and she looks so scared. And I think, what are they doing to her? Or you get the rabbit from Judy Hopps. It's like, why is Judy Hopps here? Why do you have to have Judy Hopps have big boobs and looking scared?

AlexWhy can't they just put some Klobuchar vor in there? Like, everyone's happy in vor. Topic!

Merlintalk to me what am I fucking looking at here please talk to me about throwing the staplers at me Vore porn Alex this is all you buddy

Alexalright let me go back to there's so many chains

Merlinthis is in so many channels it's in the dream team

Alexthere we go alright well Vore is a art form shall we say

Merlinwait wait wait hang on I'm sorry I don't want to micromanage your story

AlexBut you've got to remember no one's looking at this. This does not say vor on it.

MerlinIt's four images and some letters. What am I looking at? Describe to the listener what I am looking at.

AlexOkay. All right. So I'm not going to describe what vor is. Before you give me your glossary of Tumblr terms, tell me what we're looking at. Alex, is this loss?

MerlinAm I looking at loss?

AlexWe've got an illustration of Amy Klobuchar in a diaper. What's the style?

MerlinWhat's the style?

AlexI don't know.

MerlinHappy Fake Disney is the style.

AlexOh, yes. Oh, that's very good. Yes. Happy Fake Disney.

MerlinRemember, no one can see this but you. So Amy Klobuchar is in a diaper grabbing a person in a dress who looks like she might be from a fairy tale.

AlexYep. And notice she's grabbing her by the ass and the tits. If there's a reach around situation. so uh illustration number two it sort of looks like it's panel number two pure goya uh-huh um you know the goya painting eating i don't know is that supposed to be ivanka oh oh no see that's what that's yeah see i read the words too oh no i i yes that is that is

Merlinsupposed to be ivanka the words say amy klobuchar fan art taking a bite out of the trump family One eye winking tongue out emoji Pound sign clobbs Pound sign the clobber Pound sign Amy please throw staplers at me

MaxCan we all agree that number two here is going to be the show art?

AlexThe, oh yeah

MaxNumber two is very funny to me

MerlinThere's something about number three that really upsets me

MaxYeah I don't want to hear

MerlinSo number two is the famous Goya drawing of Who is it? The mythical, mythological creature with the creepy eyes eating the sun Oh is it Saturn? Saturn, yeah, something like that, yeah. But that's what it looks like. She's stuffing, I guess, cartoon Alice in Wonderland and Ivanka Trump backwards into her mouth like she's backing into a parking space and screaming to get out, but Clobes won't let her go. She has a huge, huge diaper held together with what looks like strips of duct tape. I'm taking over here. Number three, number three, happy Disney Clobe is holding where her tummy would be,

but no, no, no, no, like in the Fantastic Four when they want to show the cutaway of the Baxter building, We see inside Amy Klobuchar's...

AlexIt's x-ray vision.

MaxIt's like she's fistulated. We can see inside. That's right.

MerlinShe has an 18-inch fistula and exposes this little garbage pit where a bing bong would die of Ivanka Trump apparently being digested. And she's still alive. And so basically, Amy Klobuchar is a sarlacc. And we're partway into the 1,000 years of digesting a child. Alex or Max, please, would somebody else like to take the last one? Can I just, just for continuity, can we remember through the previous three acts of this, it's fake Amy Klobuchar, Happy Disney in a diaper with duct tape.

What is number four?

AlexOkay, you're not, it's not duct tape. It's a normal diaper. It's just colorful diaper Velcro.

MerlinWhen's the last time you put a diaper on a woman? How did you close it? What magic diaper do you have that needs tape?

AlexDon't you do it around the front? I don't know. Well, okay. The final panel is a back view of Amy Klobuchar.

MerlinWith her diaper.

AlexWith her diaper. And it appears as if she has filled her diaper. Yep. She has winking, shitting face at the same time.

MerlinShe's stooping and looking back because she wants to see what she's producing.

AlexOh, God. I didn't even think about that. I thought she was just like acknowledging her audience. But no. No.

MerlinI think she's straining at her stool. She's pushing an Ivanka.

AlexNo. You're right. You're right. And I didn't notice this the first time. I thought she was just like farting out Ivanka juice or something. But no. It seems that.

MerlinShe shat Ivanka into the diaper she's wearing.

AlexShe did. She did. And also she has socks on. I don't know why that bothers me. That's interesting. I don't like that she's just wearing...

MerlinAlso, yeah, and also Ivanka's wearing socks.

AlexYeah, I think that's gotta be a thing. It might be a socks thing. I think it's a thing.

MerlinGGGGN.

AlexYeah.

MerlinAnd then there's a giant Ivanka-shaped dump in the diaper that Amy Klobuchar... It's a very full diaper.

AlexYes.

MerlinIt's so full. It's really straining at the constraints of diaper-ness.

AlexBut this is why this is not Vore, because in Vore, everybody's having a good time. Oh, people want to be eating. Oh, that's nice.

MerlinI wish food was like that. I wish I knew I was giving food a good time. But then what if it came while you're eating it? Oh, no, my bagel finished.

AlexWell, I mean, you got cream cheese on it anyway.

MaxThere's this Twitter account that this came from called Cursed Boomer Images, which I'm very much enjoying watching.

AlexIt's fun.

MerlinI used to follow it. For the amount that it posts, it's not that funny. which is the problem. They should be a little pickier about what they put out but they do occasionally have a real dinger. Oh God. Yeah, but you know what it is? It's the kind of humor we all love. You know what? Max, I don't know if you remember this. It's the craziest thing. Back in 2016, there's one thing we all realized. Well, if Donald Trump does get elected it's going to be so good for comedy. And that's what Cursed Boomer Images is really all about.

I think it's the kind of people you see who respond to Donald Trump's tweets and say things like, oh, indicted rapist Cheeto man. I got him this time.

AlexYeah, this is not a quality account. I gotta say. Like, there's a lot of Trump hand jokes.

MaxI'm enjoying almost all of them. That's the joke.

AlexRare portrait of a young Bernie Sanders. Is that Stalin?

MerlinHe just posted Yoda with liberal tears.

AlexAll right, that's pretty funny. Oh, they love the tears.

MerlinOh, God. So helpful.

MaxI sent you a really good one on our channel. Let's see. In Dream Team.

AlexYeah.

MaxNo, in Dubai Friday Actual.

MerlinOh, God. What are you? Oh, my God. Stop them, Moss.

AlexAh! Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, that's a pretty good one.

MerlinThat's a pretty good one.

AlexOh, no. That's. See, I like an image where at first you're like, what am I looking at here? Oh, all right.

Okay.

MerlinI'm surprised by the lack of veins. Is his penis a Twi'lek? He looks like he has a Caucasian Aelus Acura, if you don't mind my saying. And what is that comedy cigar he has?

AlexI know, right? There's a lot of layers.

MerlinThat's not a real cigar. That's a comedy cigar.

AlexYeah. And don't his nipples not write? Your move, Miranda. I love it so much. Oh, boy. Isn't that good? This is not going to be the show.

MaxGod. What if I post that in the Slack or in the Discord right now? Would that be bad?

AlexYes. That would be bad.

MerlinYou understand, Max. People are going to ask questions about that. HR has a file of all of these.

AlexPeople are going to DM me and then there's going to be a million responses of, ah, I'm at work. Ah, I'm at work. And you know what? They're committing time theft.

MerlinWell, maybe you shouldn't be looking at the computer while you're at work.

AlexUh-huh.

MerlinHad that occurred to you?

AlexDiscord isn't for your work.

MerlinOh, my goodness. I can't believe this Vore porn is on my screen that I chose to bring up.

MaxMaybe I should post it in the Discord and ban everybody who complains about it. Just a little cut the tall grass kind of a situation.

MerlinI have tweets like that. I have Honeypot tweets. I have Honeypot tweets where I post them knowing that this is going to be a great opportunity to thin the herd. I go into it knowing you'll never know which ones they are. But there are ones where I'll wait. I won't mute it. Or maybe I will mute it because I mute everything. But then I come back after a few hours.

It's like the rats eating themselves in the drum.

MaxYou know, the big one for me is very occasionally, One of the only good things Twitter is for is if you have a really obscure technical question and you can't figure it out on Stack Overflow. And sometimes I'll post it on Twitter and I'll be like, does anyone know what I should do about this? Like I've done that before if I'm trying to –

MerlinOh, boy. That's a great opportunity for humor, Max.

MaxOh, I know.

MerlinPeople really bring their own jokes for that one.

MaxThat's fine. I will say I almost always get the answer that I need, but then I also get about a thousand jokes and those people all get muted.

AlexYep. Oh, wow.

MaxThat's very reserved. Yeah. No, no. Yeah. Yeah.

MerlinYeah. I don't like to block, but I'll do a mute. Well, that's the great Brendan. I never block people because that's the great Brendan. Well, no, I do a one, too. I do the soft unfollow, and then I do the mute. First, I make them unfollow me. I do the – oh, that's good. I do the – Just block them and then unblock them, and now they're not following you. Right, right, right. No, I do that.

MaxYeah, I believe in the – there's the great Brendan Wardell tweet where he's like, Never block anyone because if you block them, they can screenshot it and create content. And that's the first rule of posting warfare is never give your enemy content. Yeah.

MerlinI want to post a codex of things to help you understand why I don't respond to your tweets anymore. If the last tweet that I sent to you was any of these, well, sometimes. I just want people to be happy. What do you can definitely count on? Lol. That's the last thing you'll ever hear from me. Or a recent one I've been enjoying is, you seem like a lot of fun.

Withering. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

MaxHa ha! challenge merlin merlin let me just come out let me just come out with this there's only one thing i want which is i want some more boston rob impression because it's a really funny impression it's a really good impression that you you do it's one of my favorite impressions that you do And it's so specific. It's like, why would it ever come up except for this episode right now?

MerlinYou have to deploy it carefully. Let's see if I can work something up. I don't have anything prepared. Let's see. I heard that you might have put my name out there. And so I want to tell you that I actually respect that a lot. That you would tell me you put my name out there. Now, I've made a sign that I'm going to read to you. It's not directly germane to the challenge unless you think it is. Now, if you take your chits to the counter, plus get 16 tickets from the ski ball, you will have an opportunity to wear the wig.

If you wear the wig for up to six weeks, then you're eligible for the tattoo, but not until you've been to the Outback Steakhouse Design Station, where we're going to walk you through a lot of what's happening here. Now, Sandra has not missed any Outback, let's be honest. and his what I need you to understand it's just because I'm a stone head doesn't mean I'm stone dead it can only rhyme if you arrive on time and if you memorize the contents of my sign Boston Rob

Alexoh Boston

Merlinyou know what

Alexhe looks I love his new

MerlinI love his like pure gray look

Alexoh he is a gray fox that one

MerlinI think his nipples are upsetting his nipples are a little browner than I would prefer

AlexI know just neck up just go neck up

Merlinoh like Mike Bloomberg we measure height from the neck up

Alexoh god you're good

MerlinSurvivor shit dog what a fucking season this is gonna be I know talk about Survivor let's just get it out fucking great episode

Maxspoilers for Survivor season 40 it's called Winners at War called Winners at War and the premise is they have Is it 20 people? Is it more than 20?

AlexIt is 20.

MerlinIt's not everyone who has ever been a winner, but it's some people who have won more than once, like our pal Sandra. It's 20 previous winners of Seasons of Survivor, some of whom have won more than once. And not every winner is on the show, though. Unfortunately, my boy Bob isn't there. But it's, yeah. And so the idea is you come in, and it's going to be real wackadoo. There's a new mechanic to it, or I don't know if that's the right word for it. There's a new thing. So, yeah, tell us about this, Max. What's going on with this season?

MaxI don't know. Who are you guys excited to see? I have my favorites.

MerlinI love Ethan. I love Ethan's better, and he looks great, and I always enjoyed him. I love, who's the African-American guy, Jeremy? Yeah, Jeremy.

MaxOh, Jeremy's great. I really like Jeremy. Jeremy's got a great survivor story, too, because he got voted out real early on Blood and Water, and then came back and just destroyed, crushed. Yeah.

AlexGreat season. Great season. I don't think I've seen. I haven't seen Sophie's season.

MerlinCowboy, the Cowboy season. I didn't see the Hustlers season, I guess.

AlexOh, I don't like Ben. I don't like Ben. He's kind of upsetting. I don't like him.

MaxHis whole thing is upsetting to me, but I could not make it to the end of that season. I just couldn't. I wasn't feeling that season. But I like Tony. I just think he's so fond of watching.

MerlinI respect Tony. I mean, I respect his game for sure.

AlexHe's so upsetting.

MerlinI do not like him, but I really respect him.

MaxHe is such an off-kilter guy. Like, just his whole energy is so...

MerlinThe way he would act at Final Council, or Tribal Council, was so confusing. He was such an agent of chaos at Tribal Council. Yes. Where, like, you know, in the same way that Rob makes all of the time away from the challenges all about him. Like, Rob controls everything. He's amazing. In that same way, Tony is the magnetic pole at the center of Tribal Council. And ends up disrupting everybody else's... I don't know how he does it, but he really, he seems to really psych people out.

Yeah, no, he's amazing.

MaxHe, you know, I have to imagine if you work in reality TV or whatever, you know, documentary or something like that, and you're looking for people in your casting and you're trying to find people, finding, like, a guy like Tony to come on your show is, like, a once-in-a-lifetime thing. And it's just such, it's so fucking fun to have him back. Like, I just love, he's got a great voice, too. Like, I just, his voice is very funny, and he's great. He's just what a fucking weird character.

AlexI mean, he's a producer's dream also because he narrates everything that happens. He breaks it down so that you can follow all of it. That's the thing. He's so articulate, but he acts fucking crazy. Like even in his finale, he's like, nope, I didn't sleep. 30 days, no sleep. And I'm like, really? You shouldn't be alive. He frightens me quite a bit.

MerlinIt's kind of a question. Is Dani the one from the season where she wouldn't talk to the producers about what she was doing? Is that Dani?

Alexuh is there a Danny?

Merlinis it China? no the woman the woman Denise? no I love Denise

AlexSniper Wolf? well I might be

Merlinjust remembering wrong I thought Danny was she famously especially if you watch oh god I can't believe I'm saying this watch Survivor videos she's really famous for being a person who would not do would not say much in the Talking Heads segments because she didn't even want the producers

Maxto know what she was up to

Merlinand she ended up winning Anyways, I don't know if that's Danny. What was the one Denise? Oh, Denise, do you remember Denise's season? How crazy it was? It was down to two people in her tribe, and she kept losing.

AlexI haven't seen it.

MerlinOh, my God. Denise's season is so good. Was it Denise and Nick? Who was it? I feel like it was. No, that can't be.

AlexNo, Nick was.

MerlinNick won in the.

AlexI would never say that someone's gotten fat. Everyone's gotten fat, Alex.

MerlinNick sure looks different. There's a lot going on there.

AlexNo, but here's the thing. It's the people who are, like, young who all got fat. You know? It weirded.

MerlinEthan had cancer, and he looks terrific.

AlexExactly. Like, Rob, he's got a dad bod. But, man, he is strong. Like, all of the old people, like, I feel like they got ripped because they all knew what they were doing. But some of them, not so much. Maybe they're like, you know what? I'm going to be hot at the end of this, so might as well.

MaxWell, you know something? I think that a lot of your mental... My wife thinks people were carving up. She thinks a lot of people gain weight.

AlexThat's what Maddie said. I don't think that's quite... I was like, are you kidding me?

MaxI don't believe that.

AlexYeah, I don't...

MaxI think it's a lot of your mental image of these people is when you see their season, you see them most of the time like towards the later half of the season and they've lost a ton of weight and they're just eating like a cup of rice every day. And then when they come back and they're at their normal sort of, you know, civilian weight, They look completely different. Oh, my God.

MerlinNo, no. For sure. Can I say something that will get me canceled, please? Please, please. Another thing that will get me canceled.

AlexI already called Nick fat, so go ahead.

MerlinWe don't say this to people. We don't tell women to smile, and we don't tell them how they look bad or good with a given amount of makeup. You get so used to seeing, especially some of the women.

They're getting women, in many cases, these younger women with just flawless features in some cases. and they're genuinely like beautiful in the face women. And then when you see them at the finale.

MaxThey're like a regular Lena the Plug.

MerlinLike a Lena the Plug, who just is a natural beauty, penis in the mouth. And you get to the finale and you're like, you look like clowns. Why are you all wearing so much lip gloss?

AlexIt's one thing to put the weight back on,

Merlinbut everybody's got so much lip gloss.

AlexAnd you're like, like Amanda,

MerlinAmanda,

Alexoh no,

MerlinAmanda, you're so pretty. What have you done to yourself?

AlexI know. Amanda. Amanda's my,

Merlinshe's my survivor, she's my survivor girl.

AlexAmanda should smile less, honestly, like, yeah.

MaxI think that, I feel that way about a lot of the dudes because they get like kind of crazy beards or something like that or longer hair and beards and I'm like, that guy like looks cool and then he comes back and he's all clean shaven and you know, like, like, like Brandon.

MerlinOr not Brandon, Rodney. Rodney had gotten all like dressed up. Remember, it's my birthday and watch this on my birthday and then he comes back and he's wearing his little suit, his little man suit.

AlexOh, yeah.

MerlinYeah, you look ridiculous. You look like a ventriloquist. All the men look like ventriloquist dummies. They're so weird.

MaxYou should have kept the beard.

MerlinYeah. You know, just one thing in passing about this. So in our chronology with this show, boy, we've watched a lot of this show very quickly over the last whatever year or two. But for example, so you made me watch Survivor, was it during the Cochran season probably? When I started you, it was David versus Goliath. It was the Christian? Yeah, it was the Christian season. You got me into that. And then our next one that we watched was, oh, the famous extremely good season was Russell Heroes vs. Villains.

Yeah, I think it was Heroes vs. Villains. So Heroes vs. Villains. Well, I do have some...

MaxWait, how did you watch that without knowing who those people were? Yeah. Is that the Boston Rob season? No.

MerlinYeah, he was on, I think so. No, no. I mean, you can watch any season. It doesn't matter. Anyway, so we... Oh my... Okay, so we did watch it, But if we had watched it, if I did it. Wrong opinion. All I was going to say was that. Wait, say it one more time. Oh, sorry. You can watch them in any order.

MaxOh, God. I think I just got something on my permanent record. Don't make me call Syracuse.

MerlinI just think this is such a dumb point now for 30, 90 seconds to get to this dumb point. The dumb point was that's such a fun season because anything with Russell is fun. anything with coach big big big personalities i kind of like that this one has just i don't say just good players because there's always gimmicks like tony if tony's involved there's going to be gimmicks but i like that it's not just a like um it's not too ridiculous in terms of the you know i'm saying like there's no philip there's no coach there's no russell there's nobody there who's like rubbing their hands together and trying to

be the super villain they're all people who are empirically good at challenges and at the social game. You know what I mean? I think they chose well here, and this is, I don't know, I think it's going to be a very enjoyable season. I agree.

AlexIt felt, honestly, like a documentary about Survivor more than an episode of Survivor, other than the challenges. It was like a behind-the-scenes sort of thing, and watching these people catch up, and Rob talking to Ethan like, you good, man? You good? Yeah, I'm doing great. And some of them are clearly there. Like, Ethan, just to have fun and oh man, uh, Parvati. She,

MerlinI love,

AlexI love the focus on like,

MerlinI used to be able to be the flirty girl, but now I've got these kids and I, whether or not that's true then and now it is still like her sort of framing story is like Parvati is going to have to learn a new game to play here.

AlexYeah.

MerlinI really like her.

AlexShe's very attractive. I'm very excited. I know that she can't win, but, um, yeah, she should also smile more.

MaxAll right, so I love the draft. For me, the Fantasy League makes it a lot more lively and exciting to watch because you have these people. Even though there's nothing at stake, it's just fun to like – it adds another layer to it to root for some people who sort of you arbitrarily got in the draft. I'm curious who you guys would draft. Who do you think is going to go far in this season?

AlexYule. Oh, interesting. I think he's going to adapt really quickly to the game in terms of, because he comes off when he talks about game theory and stuff, super weird. But then you see him interact with people, and he's a hot guy who's good at challenges, who can manipulate people, and knows the numbers. And plus, he's not a favorite necessarily. He doesn't have a bunch of ties. So I think he is going to go a long way. I think he's going to glom on to Rob.

MaxI think Ewell is getting, I did not draft him, but I think he's getting a lot of heat very early, which a lot of times, especially in these returning players' seasons, it's the sleepers who wind up winning at the end.

AlexBut, I mean, who's, that's the problem. The sleepers are really. A lot of the women. Exactly, like Sophie and Denise. Love Sophie. Yeah, and that's the thing. I don't know if, yeah, I don't know. I don't think, I think they're going to, like, what's her name at the beginning? She was voted off because they all kind of wanted to be diplomatic, and they're like, okay, this will just make one person angry, not eight, you know? So I think it's going to be weird.

MerlinBefore I name one, can I raise a point of information that I need help with? Yes. I always get so confused about what's implied and what is explicit about things like Ding-a-ling Island. Explain to me what we know right now about Ding-a-ling Island. Okay, why am I saying this? I'm saying this because in the past, I always feel like I missed a day in class where I'm like, Well, wait, so really, what do we know is, what is Dingling Island for, what is accomplished there, and what is the goal of somebody who's on Dingling Island?

And it's like the season, like the previous last few seasons, it's just, I feel like it's so muddled. It is not a clear, like you understand what the jury is, the functional component of the jury, right? When you've been voted off of the show, you go to the jury, you can hang out and you listen, and you'll eventually help decide who the winner is. tell me what is Dingling Island for and what is the goal once you're on Dingling Island

Maxso do you mean within the fiction of the show what's the like conceit of Dingling Island or why it's really there

MerlinI feel like there's so many lost opportunities to be super clear about saying here's what happens when you leave so for example like if it were me I would do something like this okay when you get voted off you're going to go to that place with the torches and the signs and you're going to get to choose do you want to go home or do you want to go to Dingling Island When you go to Dingling Island, you will have exactly this, this is me talking here, you have exactly this backpack of provisions. If you want to leave at any time, you can raise the flag. Other people will be coming to Dingling Island. And now let me explain what happens while you're here.

It could be that you will compete in challenges to have the chance to come back in. It could be that we will conform an entire new tribe over here and only one of you will come back. I feel like there's so many ways they could be utilizing that to have a second game inside the game. and mostly it's people sitting around being sunburned and sad. What is the role of Dingling Island in this season?

MaxSo are you asking like what's the conceit within the fiction of the show or are you asking like production-wise like behind the scenes what is it doing for them from like a production?

MerlinAs a viewer of the show, what am I to glean when somebody goes to Dingling Island and how will I know if they're doing well?

AlexOh, I see what you're saying.

MaxOh, well, they're not – I mean I guess I take your point that they're not –

MerlinWhy do they never explain what's happening there? It's so dumb. Yeah. There should be a whole second game happening. They should come back as a whole tribe. Or like the season where TV Guy, where Devins came back, was so muddled where it's like, okay, wait a minute. So nobody talks about the fact that there's this place where they go and you've come back and you've seen these things. And then so now Devins is back in the competition, but Dingling Island is still going on. Like what is it for?

MaxYeah. What does it do? Well, I think that it's, I don't know this. I'm just guessing from like, I'm just making some guesses here. But I think that Dingling Island is back this season because part of the deal with, so I think they had, first of all, they have all these big name sort of celeb survivor players playing this season. And I think that they didn't want to get rid of those people. They were worried that like, for example, the first three weeks, you're going to have Boston Rob, Sandra, Tony, like all these people voted, the big names voted out right away because

they're threats. and then you don't want to do the season without those people. And so they're like, how do we keep those people on camera and have more air time for them where we can have them on the show? And it's possible that some of those people did not agree to come back unless they had a way to still be part of the show even if they were voted off. That may have been part of the way that they got all these incredible cast to come back.

AlexThat's been almost confirmed. It was like officially confirmed by CBS that all of the players are getting more money just for being on the show, which they should be. And it's, you know, by day. So and that includes Dingling Island. And they had they were trying to get all 20 players like way before Edge of Extinction, the actual season itself. And so that was supposed to be where they test out the mechanics.

But all over like Survivor Reddit and stuff, it seems like the consensus is those really were dinglings and they were boring and they didn't really do anything. So there wasn't enough to show. But it's also weird because they shoot that island differently, too. Like they don't do it like confessional style. They do it like documentary style with like you're talking to an interviewer instead of the audience. Did you notice that?

MerlinNo, I hadn't noticed that.

AlexI don't like it. I don't know. It's very strange. But no, Jeff, at the very beginning, says, you will go to Edge of Extinction, where you will have an opportunity to get back into the game. And that's kind of all that's said. And then Natasha, Natalie, I don't know. She reads that little plaque thingy that's like, you can earn fire tokens. Woo! but we don't know yet what that's actually going to do.

Didn't she give someone an idol or something?

MerlinOkay, so not to sound like me here, but so it's not just me. It is undefined.

AlexRight. It's very much like there will definitely be a twist.

MerlinI feel so stupid. There's so many seasons that have something, something island. And in almost every case, I feel like it's such a missed opportunity. We talked about this during our, like how would you improve Survivor thing? I mean, I, because I, while I realized it would be probably too much, I had that fantasy about having two separate survivors going at the same time without knowing about each other and then doing a tribe swap or doing a merge that they never knew was coming. I know that would probably be too much but I just feel like there's so many things where they walk right up to the edge of doing something so interesting but then and they're so canny about

what they think about and show on this program but for somebody who actually enjoys the game part of it, I mean it would be like explaining to somebody, like saying okay well, you know in hockey it's possible to get something called a penalty and then you go to the penalty box. And you're like, well, what's the penalty box? We're not going to tell you. Like, well, okay. Like, what, am I going to get beat up there? Like, what's going to happen? You'll see.

AlexI think that's by design for the viewers because it's, remember, it's CBS. Yeah, they have to throw out the needle

Maxof making something that we'll enjoy as people who have consumed too much Survivor but also something that if it's literally the first time you turn on the program it has to make a certain amount of sense to you. And plus, I think they also enjoy a little bit of the keeping you guessing what's going to happen. Like, we probably enjoy watching it more as, like, a strategist of, like, okay, we want to know the whole system of this and make our guess.

MerlinYeah, how will we know if these people are doing well? That's part of it. It's, like, it's difficult to know. Like, if you understand the goal of a quarterback, how will you know if they're doing well?

MaxSo you and I enjoy watching it as, like, a kind of a sport where it's, like, okay, we know all the rules and how are these people going to perform and how is it going to be different? I think Survivor is trying to accommodate that a little bit, but mainly they just are trying to have it be a reality show. And they're like, anything could happen at any minute. And they love twists. And they're not really overly concerned with it being like a strategically pleasing thing like that. That's just my two cents. I agree with you. Like, I would love for there to be fewer, less idle play in general, which is another one of those things of like it's a crazy.

MerlinIDLE or IDOL? IDOL. Like, it's like. Okay. Like.

MaxReally?

MerlinTo me, yes. I kind of like the idle stuff.

MaxOh, I think it's overdone to the point of I enjoy the social. It interferes with.

MerlinOh, you think it like, what's the word they use in video games where they have to re-level? Do you feel like it overpowers? Or what's the phrase? You know the phrase?

MaxWell, it's that someone might be playing a perfect game and have everything all worked out. And they're not really rewarded for playing the game very well because of the role of the idols. Mm-hmm.

AlexI mean, I think that's why they got, they're constantly changing things with the idol nullifier. And I think you're right. It does get a little muddled, but there was that one season, I think it was Ghost Island, where it didn't really work because there were so many idols. And at one point, people forgot who had the idol and who didn't. But just, I think the idea of like, okay, there is one idol on each island. and when it's used up, then you can search for the idol again.

It's simple enough that it's not the crazy idol nullifier and then you get one extra vote or you get to cancel someone's vote. And I'm not a huge fan of that stuff.

MerlinI like, what did I say? I think I've said this here on the show. I think what I like about idols in general is that, God, where did I say this? It must have been here. What makes Survivor interesting to me, as I think we're all sort of saying, is the social game and how people strategize with each other and all that kind of stuff. But in some ways, really, information is power, right? Even if it's false information. So the information of, like, whose name are we going to put out there? Like, all that kind of stuff. Like, you know, knowing what other people don't know is very important.

And part of knowing what other people don't know is who does or does not have an idol. Like just because you have a rock in your pocket or you have something in your pocket doesn't mean it's an idol. But I know that is or is not an idol. Now that information becomes doubly important. You know what I'm saying? Like I love idols. I like any mechanic in this that changes the balance of or increases the interest in who knows more than another person today and provides the opportunity for disruption.

Right. So like somebody who I, there, there've been times where there's people I really, really like on the show, but you know, they're not going to make it. And like, but if they found an idol that could disrupt it, I kind of like, I like that because now the people, the Boston robs the world do need, now they're going to need more information too, in order to determine, you know what I'm saying? The idols are fun as they lead to an existence or absence of information, you know, as things and they're fun when they're fake. And when people make fake ones like Bob and Devin's, it's always funny. or like the one

where didn't somebody just make a stick one time and gave it to Eric

Alexor something yeah that's a stick that's a fucking stick

Merlinanyway but no I hear you like it can be it gets to be too much it gets just to be too much

Maxbut I'm excited for the season hey I'm curious I'm curious who you guys think is going to do well in this season or if there's a reason you can't say

Alexwho do you guys like I don't really

MerlinI don't think about it the same way as you do I just I'm just there for the ride there are people I hope do well because I really like them. But I don't have any way to figure that out. I can't play chess. Who do you hope does well?

AlexOh, I mean, obviously, I want Pav Pav to go all the way. But I think Yule has a good Yule. And Natalie, it would be too much of a stretch.

MerlinNatalie's already on Dingling Island, right?

AlexWell, yeah, but she has a chance to come back. Who knows? Or not.

MerlinI don't know. I don't know what the fuck happens there.

AlexNobody tells me. I think Yule and Sophie, if she doesn't fuck up, because Sophie's really a dark horse. I just don't want Ben to win.

MerlinYeah, Sophie's totally a dark horse. And the thing is, like we've all said, this is also part of the sales job of Survivors to say, hey, everybody knows and mostly likes Boston Robb. Boy, he's a big target. Everybody knows and mostly likes Amber. Boy, she's a big target. Everybody knows and, I guess, likes Sandra. I think she's the worst. She's so mean. Well, and she's just so, I hate the way she plays. I've always hated the way she plays. It's very unenjoyable. It's almost like if you were somebody who loved boxing on a very pure level,

you would hate to watch Muhammad Ali fight. Because he fights in a way that's very frustrating to people who like classical boxing that want to see both people beating the shit out of each other. He just stands there until you get tired. And with Sanders, she's like, well, I'm just not going to play until I feel like playing.

AlexYeah, that's how she won the first season. Like, she basically didn't do anything. Which is no fun.

MerlinIt's not fun, and she's annoying, and why is she wearing that hat?

AlexIt's like her husband.

MerlinShe's stealing valor, Alex.

AlexShe is. She has stolen her husband's valor. I feel like that relationship isn't helping.

MerlinGod, I get it.

AlexI get it.

MerlinHe's in the military. He gets insurance. Do-do-do-do-do.

AlexOkay.

MerlinAnyway, so who do I think? I do love Yule. I do think Sophie, so what was the point of that? Is that Sophie is much less of a target in the early days, I think. Plus, people still, this is the thing that's so funny to me, like as an outsider who's not tired and hungry, is that it is always funny to me when people end up voting off really strong people early on. They're the people who get into their game way too early. Yeah. But you're like, yeah, well, and the kind of people who come in and are like, ha-ha, I'm going to run this from day one.

And then they're out the first week because they're obviously an idiot. But then there are also the people.

AlexWell, that's why I like this one because everybody, like obviously there's stronger people, but there's no one who's terrible at challenges.

Merlinwell there's nobody's going to be like no shade on Courtney I think she's a very interesting character but like there's those characters that it feels like they sat out every time they could yes we're like understandably I mean Courtney yeah what do you say about Courtney she took

Alexher top off oh you're thinking of oh you're right sorry how could I forget that sugar's

Merlinthe burlesque lady and Courtney needs a sandwich.

AlexThere we go. Yes.

MerlinBut Courtney, I don't think she's crazy strong. Like if you're doing the thing where you got to pick up the bag and try to get it over the line, I'm not going to have Courtney. She's going to sit that one out for me. Well, yeah.

AlexI mean, that's why they got rid of Natalie and not Jeremy.

MerlinOr the beating somebody in the mud pit.

AlexYeah.

MerlinLike James is really good at beating people in the mud pit.

MaxWait, what are you talking about? Natalie. I don't know, man. Natalie's yoked.

AlexNo, no, no.

MaxShe's very strong.

AlexThe reason they wanted to get rid of her was because she was so tight with Jeremy. And if you're going to make them arm wrestle, Jeremy's going to win. So I think that's the only reason.

MaxI think at this stage in the game, all the reasons that are sort of given out loud for why you get rid of people is mostly like sort of kayfabe. I think it's all sort of like, well, I got to say something. So it's going to be she's close with Jeremy. But who the fuck knows? Like sometimes it's just random. Sometimes it's anybody but me.

MerlinSometimes it's just like who you can manage to get out. Exactly. I mean, you know what I'm saying? It's somewhat random and dependent upon other people.

MaxOn Edge of Extinction, they got rid of that one woman who was like, was it Dawn? No. Oh, right. She was really upset that she was the first one out.

AlexYeah.

MaxBut anyway, but then it was like they had to come up with some reason they were getting her out and they didn't want to say, well, it's because we don't like her or whatever. So it's like she moved everyone's clothes. And it's just like, what? Oh, shit. Yes. That was the worst. Yeah. And it's just like, well, you're just saying something. You just have to have a reason to have a reason because you know you're on TV and you have to not look like an asshole. Well, yeah, and it's like what we could get in the edit.

MerlinWe have footage of her moving someone's clothes to the beach or off the beach. And you're like, what the fuck? Right. It's so dumb. She touched my clothes. I want her out. Don't touch my clothes.

MaxDon't touch my clothes.

MerlinSo, Max, let's ask you the question. Have you told us yet? What's your pick? Talk about your, what do you call it? What's the game you play?

MaxFantasy League. So in the Fantasy League, you obviously get points for each week that they stay in. And you get points if they find idols and stuff. But you also get points if they get confessionals. So if they get a lot of camera time. So I tried to balance people who I think. So I always look at who's really. I always watch those like Entertainment Weekly like interviews, you know, before the season. And I try to pick out who's funny, who's really funny in their interviews. Because I think that person is going to get a lot of screen time.

MerlinDidn't you say you look for who brought a two-piece bathing suit? I do. It's not who brought it.

MaxIt's that the production puts you in a two-piece bathing suit. Of the clothes you brought that they choose from. Correct, correct. And so if production puts you in a two-piece bathing suit, to me that's an indicator that they're going to put you on camera a lot

Alexbecause you're hot.

MerlinI feel like Tony gets a lot of camera time historically. He's very telegenic.

MaxSo I took, let me look at, I have Tony, I have lawyer Nick, and I have Sandra, which was not, Sandra was my last round, and just sort of like that's just the person I could get.

MerlinI don't think Sanders is going to do well or win.

MaxBut I just – Tony was my top pick. And then Nick, I was pretty lucky. I think I was pretty lucky to get Nick. Nick, I think, has a real shot to go pretty far in this game.

MerlinI really like Nick. I came around to that decision somewhat slowly. But when we went back in – let's do this again. I was like, you know, Nick really did do a good job, and he really did come a long way.

AlexOh, for sure. Yeah.

MerlinYeah. Wait, who's the boy that I liked in that season that I wanted to win? Was that the Christian season?

AlexYeah, the robot guy I love. And he and his girlfriend when she showed up during the family visit. Oh, my God. That was such a good season. That was a good season to start with. I really, really liked it.

MaxIf people want to watch Getting to Survivor, I still endorse going back on Hulu or something and you find Survivor David vs. Goliath. I think that's the strongest season.

MerlinHulu is a homemade dick, or CBS is a homemade dick about what endures of Survivor on Hulu. And I'll tell you, buddy, believe me, I know, because my daughter and I have spent a lot of time with this. There is in pretty much, I mean, who knows as of this moment, right? Because it's all fucking changes, and it's madness. And it's like, oh, somebody took the eight of spades out, and we didn't know. Like, all of a sudden, episode three is not in a given season. But all the other shows are there.

You're like, what the fuck is going on? Why this one episode? Did they pull it for some reason? Like, why? Because, like, I understand the thing of, we've taken away all of your whatever show, Office. And all that will endure now is what you have sort of T-vote. The back catalog to which you usually have 100% access is now gone. If you've T-vote, so you know what I mean when I say T-vote. If you've, God, Hulu is so fucked up. If you go into Hulu, you can say, like, add this to my, have we talked about this enough? the thing where like sometimes you can watch a show

and sometimes you can't and sometimes you can rewind and sometimes you can't depending on how you entered into the show. Have you ever noticed this?

MaxWell the craziest thing to me is I'll watch something and then I'll say to Veronica hey you gotta watch this thing and I'll come upstairs a few hours later or the next day and she's watching it and I'm like and she's watching ads that she can't skip on Hulu and I'm like

Merlinhow are you watching this?

MaxWhen I'm paying $80 a month for this and I still get ads on some things. It's mad. But I'm like how is it possible? I don't even know what sequence of buttons you pressed.

MerlinThat's because you got the TiVo version. That went under your TiVo pile. So if you come in and start watching SNL or the Oscars in progress, you can't rewind. Unless you come in through this other door. And then you get to start at the beginning unless it has not shown up in that pile yet. It's so fucking grating. It's the worst. You should do that explanation in the Boston Rob voice.

Well, it brings me right back to that Ernie Kovacs bit with Drungo. You know, the pink wooden triangles and the drill eggs and the. Drungo. Drungo. Whoa. So, thoughts. Let's get to the after show soon. Oh, my God. Oh, we got to fucking leave. It's hour and 25 minutes. Oh, my God. Is that right?

AlexYeah.

MerlinYep. I'm having fun. Let's. Well, we still got to do another show.

MaxAll right.

AlexThere's the other one. Didn't they get enough?

MerlinNo.

AlexSay something funny, Merlin. Come on, no pressure.

MerlinYeah, Merlin, we're all counting on you.

AlexCome on, come on.

MerlinOh, fuck your mother. Oh, fuck your mother.

Show notes

Transcript

173. Minecraft Holmes

Show notes

Transcript

0:00

0:22

0:25

0:44

0:49

1:01

1:03

1:05

1:08

1:18

1:27

1:27

1:29

1:32

1:42

1:44

1:51

1:51

1:52

1:57

1:58

1:59

2:02

2:06

2:07

2:12

2:12

2:13

2:15

2:17

2:19

2:21

2:22

2:30

2:37

2:49

3:00

3:17

3:22

3:44

3:54

3:55

3:59

4:01

4:03

4:04

4:08

4:09

4:11

4:12

4:13

4:15

4:16

4:24

4:32

5:02

5:19

5:21

5:50

5:58

6:15

6:20

6:26

6:28

6:32

6:35

6:40

6:51

6:56

7:00

7:05

7:11

7:14

7:16

7:21

7:29

7:31