160. Deep State Debbie

AlexThis is Do By Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Merlin Mann, Alex Cox, and Max Temkin. This week's challenge, play Minecraft.

MerlinDid you know I know almost all the words to Goodbye Yellow Brick Road?

AlexNo, I did not know that.

Merlinit's a really weird song would you like me to sing it for you while Cameron's

Alexchecking on that uh can't Cameron is good to go but please please I'll take that as

Merlinforget it I'll take that as a no okay okay wow

Alexoh my god I'm loopy today you can't

Merlinplant me in your penthouse I'm going back to my plow

AlexI I I'm...

MerlinYeah. Yeah. The words... Are you aware of how strange that song is?

AlexNo, because I don't know all the words.

MerlinWell, okay, because you didn't grow up with it. Okay, that's understandable.

AlexNo, no, no, no.

MerlinBut there's a really good... I don't know if you're a fan of strong songs. There's a really good strong songs on that and Tiny Dancer, which is a song that I'm obsessed with. I am. Little Dancing Man.

AlexThey, it's just one guy, right?

MerlinYeah, yeah, yeah. God, he does such a good job. The editing on that is wild.

AlexI know. Gosh.

MerlinWhen are you going to come down? When are you going to land? I should have stayed on the farm. I should have listened to my old man. And I'm reading. You know you can't hold me forever. I didn't sign up with you. I'm not a present for your friends to open. This boy's too young to be singing the blues. So goodbye, yellow brick road, where the dogs of society howl. You can't plant me in your penthouse. I'm going back to my plow. Back to the howling old owl in the woods. hunting the horny back toad. Oh, I finally decided my future lies.

Beyond the yellow brick road. All right, should we start?

AlexYeah, let's start the show.

MerlinHello.

AlexYou okay? You okay? I don't know if my voice frightened you or you've just made a noise. Is this the show?

MerlinOh, no. Oh, no. I have so much content for you. Is it correct that Max just dipped? He's not here today. Is that correct?

AlexHe's not, which...

MerlinNo, this is going to work because I have so much. I don't know if you've looked at the doc. I have so much content for you today. I have so many questions for you.

AlexI just shouldn't really be trusted in the studio alone. He's going to come back, and I'm going to need another $50,000.

MerlinOkay. That'll be fine. They're like gorillas. They just rip them out of the jacks. They don't even pull them out gently. Boy, look at that balloon. It's very upsetting.

AlexI can't stop looking at it.

MerlinSo what we're looking at here, what am I looking at? We're looking at my kid had her sleepover birthday party, and my wife got them those comical balloons that you can turn into things, right? And you can make dogs and stuff out of them. And so at one point, I walked in, and these four girls had made about a... So they looked on the internet about how to make balloon animals, and they made a bunch of what looked like huge dog dicks with balls. They're dogs, but it's not the part of the dog I was expecting. And this one looks like the Dr. Manhattan dildo,

a little bit. That's a dog. It's supposed to be a dog.

AlexOh, okay. So if I turn my head, I do see a dog. I see a dog with a tail, but.

MerlinYeah. Or like a Dr. Manhattan dick with a misplaced prostate. La, la, la.

AlexYeah. Yeah.

MerlinLet's do it up top. What is that? Those ears, I guess?

AlexI don't know. I don't know. Now I'm thinking about what are the innards. Like if that is the visible part of Dr. Manhattan, like what is the. I'm very unfamiliar with the innards of the male.

MerlinWell, you know, Alexandra, speaking of dog dicks, a little bit later in the program, we're going to have a visit. I don't know if we can even say their name.

AlexI don't think so.

MerlinWell, we're going to have a visit with Deep State Debbie, a friend of ours in the, not friend. I mean, the Deep State doesn't have friends. But we're going to be visiting with somebody who's deep in the deep state D.C. deep state community to talk about the misgendered hero dog.

AlexYeah. And I think they're going to hit bottom. It's a hard thing to do.

MerlinThere's a lot going on right now with dog misgendering. Are you in the doc?

AlexI am. I've never been so excited to know a dog's genitals in my life. oh god this is literally the plot of a gilmore girls episode that is where we are coffee coffee

Merlinum here's the topics you can choose any of these boy got prince andrew in there oh good old randy andy oh did you okay oh yep yep yep you start with you want to start with prince andrew i'll

Alexmove it up i oh i i did not scroll down i was distracted by dr manhattan's lovely manhood

Merlinhis dog, dog dick.

AlexI see, oh, death and language. You know what? No spoilers. I'll save it for the show. But yes, a lot has happened with Prince Andrew since we last talked. I think actually the night we put out the episode, or the night we recorded, the interview happened. And obviously our main competition is Chapo Trap House. We've got about the same amount of listeners. I was like, oh, fuck, they beat it to us.

MerlinIt's very similar Patreon support. Yes.

AlexYes.

MerlinWell, okay. So what we knew, what we have known is that Jeffrey Epstein was a little bit of a stinker. He was, you know, he did.

AlexHe did some crimes, I hear.

MerlinHe was the phrase Brady would use. He was naughty. We know that Jeffrey Epstein did some stuff. We know there's been chatter about all the different people that he's collected over time. and I've been aware, Alex, I have now listened to enough Jeffrey Epstein podcast series that I'm not even sure if I'm listening to one I've already listened to, but I'll listen to it anyway, sometimes twice. So there's been a confluence of new information for me, including, so what was that show that I sent you that I think you listened to?

AlexOh.

MerlinIt's called The Devil, something devil.

AlexLet me pull it up. I'm halfway through.

MerlinWe'll put it in show notes.

AlexRandy, Andy, that episode is definitely the best so far. That seemed like a backhanded compliment, but...

MerlinIt's been the one with the most totally new information.

AlexExactly. Yes, yes.

MerlinAnd so the confluence is, goddammit, what's that show called?

AlexDevil in the Darkness. I love it.

MerlinDevil in the Darkness, yeah.

AlexI also suggest Broken. I'll put that in the notes, too.

MerlinYep, yep, yep. I've heard that one, too. So there's been listening to that, but as you just mentioned on Chapo, it was a very funny episode. Amber wrote a long piece for, is it the Jacobin magazine?

AlexI call it the socialist site that I can't pronounce. So I believe that's it.

MerlinBut she had written a long piece for that. And she said something that really had brought this into stark relief for me, which was that a lot of the best and most interesting reporting about the Prince Andrew component came from A, British publications that B, have a firewall or a paywall, right? And so she's like, unless you're like me, Amber here, unless you're subscribed to the Financial Times, you may not be reading a lot of the deep Andrew stuff that at least had not filtered down to me.

Has that been your experience?

AlexAbsolutely. And this is, you know, I don't want to say my wheelhouse because that is a weird thing.

MerlinThat's a bad wheelhouse.

AlexThat's not, no. But let's say that every morning I do go onto not even just Twitter. I have gone back to using RSS and searching for Epstein every morning.

MerlinOh, it's such a secret shame. And it's now become refashionable. to refer to the Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself meme as, you know, a debunked conspiracy theory.

AlexBut debunked?

MerlinI mean, cool Twitter, not even just necktie Twitter, but even like cool political Twitter is like, they keep going on with this conspiracy theory. It's like, you listen to these fucking podcasts. Understandably, they're going to be somewhat salacious. That's why we're listening to them.

Speaker ABut there's so much stuff that just still does not add up.

MerlinRight? I mean, okay. Okay, let's take a moment. Nothing adds up. Let's go back. Okay, let's take a moment and let's go back. Deep breath. Fuck. The whole thing of people, there was the dude who'd been an inmate at that facility. There are people, they talk to people who work there and they're all like this.

First of all, the conditions that he was in after the suicide watch. When they inexplicably took him off suicide watch, they put him in the shoe, special housing unit that the conditions in there are just super bad for anybody but crazy bad for jeffrey epstein in particular right like first of all this is a person where even if he were a totally anonymous dude would be a huge target for both the inmates and the employees but then on top of that it's

like oh look mr fancy mr fancy child diddler is in here we're just not going to give him toilet the paper for a while right where his food's going to be fucked up there's there's apparently like it's it's just infested with vermin there's just like rats everywhere and now he's been put into a room where it's literally impossible for him to kill himself yeah they've he's in a bespoke room with nothing to hang from there's no sheets no nothing i don't know man i don't i don't want become a lunatic but like and then they just the cameras were off and nobody saw him for hours

Alexit's just i mean that is what we are led to supposed supposed to believe

Merlinand bill and bill barr's going like i've reviewed the footage uh or whatever of what there is and people are like wait a minute let me just understand it's like you sat down and watched eight hours of footage of a door that nobody walked through is that is that a thing that you had time to do today i don't know i just it's re i don't want to be that guy but i just think there's there's so many fucking questions right now i don't think hillary clinton did it but i think something's weird something somewhere in this just there's no explanation for this

Alexthat makes any fucking sense it's it just whenever i think about this i am just reminded of all of the you know, normal prison corruption that you just mentioned. And especially on this podcast, talking about how even in the past when they've had such a high profile.

MerlinWhen they had El Chapo.

AlexExactly.

MerlinThe guy who was tunneled out of jail like twice.

AlexYes. And I just, I know that the, what is he, the coroner for the stars who is like, I looked at the autopsy.

MerlinOh, yeah, yeah. Right, right. Bodden. Dr. Bodden.

AlexYeah.

MerlinDr. Bodden.

AlexAnd, you know, good old Dr. Bodden said that this bone that was broken.

MerlinHyoid. The hyoid.

AlexThe hyoid. Yeah, the hyoid.

MerlinThere's so many things I don't want to know. There's so many things I don't want to know. Yeah. That is unusual. Anyway, there's just, there's so many fucking questions and so few answers. There's a lot, there's a fair amount of just fucking hand-waving about, oh, yeah, that's very unlikely or whatever. But, like, it's just, okay, so that's all really weird. But then we get to Prince Andrew. So what it filtered down to us was, I feel like, I knew that Prince Andrew had a reputation for being what we used to call a ladies' man. That was a thing.

We knew that, right? um what else did we know we we knew that he was very much a party boy and we knew that like to me i had kind of lumped him in with like bill clinton and um just all all the other people stephen pinker whomever like all these people who were in steve jeffrey epstein's um that he was you know that he was friends with him or whatever but he was really friends with Jeffrey Epstein as this podcast really highlights.

AlexThat I did not know. I thought with a lot of this stuff, I thought that many of these people just went on the Lolita Express, as we now call it, as kind of a field trip of like, let's see what's really going on here because there can't be consequences to be on this child trafficking plane. what's the worst that could go down?

MerlinWell, I mean, this is the part, this is the part just as a quick side road here. And we won't make this the whole show, but you know, whatever. It's what we're doing with our lives. The one thing is you've got,

you've got, Bill Clinton has some questions to answer. Because what his people have been saying is that he took four trips with Jeffrey Epstein. And according to that podcast and these other sources, according to flight logs, those four trips constituted 27 legs of flights. Over 20 legs of flights. Okay. Here's the thing. We've talked about this, Alex. If I go to a party and I saw something suspicious, let's not even say 17-year-old girls in abundance.

Oh, I assume they were his nieces. Really? Like multiple times? Multiple times. Like, whatever it is, if I went into a party and I saw a bunch of people shooting heroin, I wouldn't do it 26 more times.

AlexYeah. No, it doesn't sound like a good time. No. No, no, no.

MerlinSo then we learned that Prince Andrew decided he was going to get in front of this story by doing an interview with a famously tenacious British reporter. and apparently it didn't go so great.

AlexNo, no.

MerlinHe's too honorable, if anything, really.

AlexYeah, I watched it twice because I literally could not believe the words that he was saying.

MerlinI heard his mom canceled his 60th birthday party for posting cringe. That's what it came down to. What it came down to, I mean, he's dithering so badly and saying, oh, yes, yes, yes. But I felt like I had to go to his pervert house in New York for three days in order to friendship break up with him.

AlexBut also I had to stay there for two weeks. And what he said, he's like, well, I was doing other stuff. I was out in the boat.

MerlinIt was convenient. It was a convenient place to stay while the girls are coming in and out. Yeah. That's his Uber Eats.

AlexOh, God.

MerlinThe thing, okay, finally, I'm just going to commend people. If you're interested in this, I will commend you to go check out this episode because between that Chapo, we'll put this in the notes, between that Chapo episode with Amber, which was very funny and dark, and this one episode of this podcast, I guess I didn't realize how much evidence there was of his deep creepiness. I didn't know about the toe stuff.

What is it with the feet, guys, Alex?

AlexI truly don't know.

MerlinCan't you just stick with British feet on adult ladies? Why do you got to come here?

AlexMaybe it's like their teeth. I mean, teeth.

MerlinOh, we'll groom. Why can't you just stay away from our neurosurgeons? Jesus.

AlexAll right. We still have a lot of stuff in this duck.

MerlinWell, we could save some of this. We could talk about whatever you want.

AlexI do want to save Watchmen because I am only three episodes deep. I like my fucking spouse.

MerlinEpisode four is where it takes the next big turn. So that actually is really, really good.

AlexAnd I'm told also that by Twitter that episode six is just fucking crazy.

MerlinI'm trying so hard not to oversell it, but it's probably the best episode of TV. Um, so there's that. Um, oh, here's a quick one. And then we should, we should bring in deep state Debbie, but, um, Alex, I'm pretty sure you get a different internet than I do. You keep posting things that are, I mean, I'm perplexed by what the content is, but I don't, where do you keep, where do you find all these things that you're posting? What internet do you get that you see these things?

AlexNo, just some folks. Tag me. Or is that what it is? Tag me, at me.

MerlinOh, that. I was even thinking just about all these cameos you keep sending. But no, you are. What does the sleeping man mean? Who is the sleeping man? Who is the sleeping man? You sent me Buddha Mayor Pete as Harry Potter.

And then what is it you were sending? There's so many channels. Yeah, okay, the guy. Okay, oh, sleeping time with sofa Spartan as I'm Spartan of Darbonga. Sleeping time with sofa Spartan as I'm Spartan of Darmbonga. Sleeping time with sofa Spartan as I'm Spartan of Darmbonga. What am I looking at here?

AlexIt just looks like this guy is mentioning me in his tweets along with.

MerlinBecause he thinks you made Repo Man.

AlexWell, he thanked me for making Sid and Nancy.

MerlinThank you for doing that. That was a very good movie, I have to say.

AlexI know that you're more of a fan of my other work, but I just have a special place in my heart for Sid and Nancy.

MerlinAll the great Alex Cox.

AlexYeah, all the great Alex Cox films that young...

MerlinAlex Cox? Yes, she does.

AlexOh, no. Oh, boy. But every once in a... Usually I can filter out the... I don't know what filter I have set, but it's like, don't show me replies. Like people you don't know. Yeah, or a reply from the... If it's the first time they're talking. I forget. But sometimes it just slips through the cracks. And I think this one, this young Indian actor, director, I don't know. It looks like he's just tweeting out things for his Bollywood profile.

And so he was tagging me and some other directors and actors. And at first I was confused. I'm like, is this a sexy time thing? Are you trying to advertise yourself as a model because he's lying on a bed of silk pillows?

MerlinHe has seven followers, Alex.

AlexHe has seven whole followers. And those followers get to see even more pictures like him photoshopped on top of a large DSLR camera lens next to a painting where a unicorn is coming out of the painting.

MerlinOh, there's one where he just puts his face on other people. Here's somebody reading a burning newspaper. He put his face on that.

AlexYep.

MerlinThere's him on a bridge with a lady.

AlexYep.

MerlinDefinitely. Bill Bailey. Is that the actor Bill Bailey?

AlexI don't know. I don't know who that is.

MerlinYeah, you do. He's that one actor. He's in Black Books and stuff like that.

AlexSure. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

MerlinWell, obviously, he's included with you. Oh, my God. This is insane. Amir Khan. Amir Khan.

AlexMm-hmm.

MerlinA Chris Evans.

AlexOh, Amir Khan.

MerlinAmir Khan.

AlexMm-hmm.

MerlinAmir Khan. But the thing is, I think he's got something automated going on. because it's exactly the, because he repeats Amir Khan twice in all of these, whoever Amir Khan is. Anyway, I don't know what internet you get. What else were you sending me? You sent me the most perplexing things. So you and my daughter, you guys are real mobbed up with this Pokemon business.

AlexOh, yeah. Okay.

MerlinI know you guys are talking a lot about that. Your Sobel is evolving?

AlexMm-hmm.

MerlinSobel. Sobel? Sobel.

AlexMy Sobel has evolved into the emo team. I think a lot of people will actually know what I'm talking about.

MerlinShe got an emo too. Hers has gone emo too.

AlexYeah. They all.

MerlinShe's got a moody teen.

AlexMm-hmm. All of the, I felt so bad because I was like, what starter did you pick? And she was like, do you mean Pokemon? And like she had said, oh, gosh, I'm loving Pokemon. I'm like, what starter? And, you know, people who haven't been playing these games for a decade probably don't know that the first Pokemon that you choose is a starter.

MerlinI'm like, god damn it. I know she's got a Corgi, and she has a very animated friend who does this strange fist-pumping

Alexthing? Yes, yes. That is what's known as your rival.

MerlinOh, it's your rival. Okay.

AlexEvery game has a rival. Have you become familiar with the Corgi? His name is, well, I don't know. what genitals Yamper has, but maybe we'll find out later.

It's so cute. He's got a little heart on his butt.

MerlinHe's very cute. I love a Corgi. Now, what about Frozen? It looks like it's Anna and the snowman having a picnic in Pumpkins. Is that from the Frozen 2 movie?

AlexI don't know what you're...

MerlinIs that you or is that Kevin? Who's sending me this? I think it's you. I meant to send this do a do over that's frozen

Alexthat's frozen exactly I had to explain my joke oh I get it you made a joke that's frozen I said that's

Merlinturfy

AlexI guess oh god that was the best onion article in a while or was it click hole

MerlinI don't know if I saw that send it to me

Alexoh let me get it Oh, let me get this up.

MerlinWe should switch internets for a few hours. Not for like a day, but like.

AlexJust, I don't know if you can handle it.

MerlinNo, I don't know if I can. No, it seems it's really, that's not my wheelhouse. That would be like some kind of Ludovico technique. Okay. All right. Spartanasm. Spartanasm. Fighting is my aim. Killing is my business. Do not fight me because Spartanasm is my name. Dangerous boy.

Seven followers. Oh, God. We should both follow him.

AlexNo, no, I'm not going to do that. Not going to do that.

MerlinAmir Khan.

Alexandra, we need to cut over to a very special deep... Alexandra, we need to cut over to a very special deep state interview that was conducted at a time. We can't say a lot because we don't want to reveal. Here's the thing. We're going to be talking with someone who is actively working from inside the deep state to dismantle the duly elected Trump administration. So we need to exercise extreme caution. Do not attempt to learn this person's identity because they are legion.

AlexSo you're making it sound like a bit, but really don't try to find out who this person is.

MerlinYou know, if we say that, that's like that's a honey. That's a honeypot.

AlexIs it really?

MerlinI don't know.

AlexI don't. Because, you know, I might always want to find out the genitals of the various animals that come into the White House.

MerlinWell, there's only one way to find out. Quinn, would you please roll our interview from a time with Deep State Debbie? Okay, well, we're very excited to bring in a source. We can't say a lot about this. It is all we will say is this is someone who has connections deep inside the D.C. community. Please welcome to the show Deep State Debbie. Hi, Debbie. Hi.

AlexWelcome.

MerlinHow are you doing?

AlexThank you so much for being on our program, Debbie.

MerlinWe've utilized Debbie in the past on deep, deep, extremely deep, really, really too far deep, maybe internal injury deep.

Speaker AMarianna Strench deep.

MerlinGone very deep for, this is a deep state source that we've turned to from time to time. And we're very happy to have Debbie on to talk about something that's fucking everybody up right now. We need to talk about the hero dog and the misgendering. Is it true that you may have some information? This is Conan, Conan the hero dog. And do you have any information that you can share with us about what is, what has happened? What is happening? And what do you know as a deep state source about the genitals of the hero dog?

Speaker AWell, I mean, define genitals. Yeah.

MerlinRight, right.

Speaker ASo this is the dog that they used in the raid that killed the ISIS leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. And Trump made a big deal out of it when it first happened. And then there was this ridiculous meme of Trump pinning some sort of medal award on the dog. I think he retweeted it. And everybody got all weird about it because somebody, it was some meme where somebody had photoshopped an actual awards ceremony.

MerlinYes. An actual wounded soldier was photoshopped in a dog. A dog was put in his place and they put the medal that should have gone to Chewbacca in the first place onto Conan the hero.

AlexHe was a good, good boy, but still.

MerlinGood hero, yeah.

Speaker AAllegedly boy.

MerlinWow, wow, wow, wow.

Speaker AAnd it took me maybe 10 minutes of searching on Getty Images to find the actual award ceremony that had happened. Because the president only did a handful of these. And the photo that was used was pretty, you know, widely circulated when the actual award ceremony to the human person happened. So it was really easy to then go find, oh, this person has a name. And now it's the face of a dog who's slobbering all over everything. Cool.

So that meme got blasted around. And then finally, I guess there was confusion because they were saying, oh, the name of the dog and the name of the dog is classified. But here's a photo of the dog. So then everybody was able to broadcast the photo of the dog. And it was just here's the hero dog.

MerlinThere's some reason behind this, which was that if we reveal the name of the dog, said the people in a position to know, there is a way to reverse engineer the identity of the trainer or the handler. And consequently, that becomes a security risk. Is that right?

Speaker ARight. Because there aren't that many of these dogs in the general dog military universe that are this highly trained to sniff out terrorists and or drugs and or kill them.

AlexIt seems like the one thing that this administration likes to do is lie. So why not just put any picture of a German shepherd up there and make up a name? It just seems so strange to try to be honest about this, at least at first.

Speaker ABecause this is, that honesty is coming from the military and not the White House or the brain worms.

AlexGot it.

Speaker APresident, right?

AlexGot it. All right. This makes a lot of sense. Thank you, Debbie.

Speaker Ayeah so Jesus this is such a bizarre fucking story so then the other day at the White House they did an event where the president Mike Pence a handler I don't know if it's the actual classified handler but a handler a guy in a blue tie holding the dog with a blue leash and Melania in what my significant other pointed out was an extremely expensive wardrobe choice that Melania had picked out Before them walk out, there was an announcement that came out, hey, everybody presses gathering on the South Lawn, there's going to be some sort of event.

Everybody thought it was going to be the turkey pardoning. Because normally that's why the White House press corps would gather out in the Rose Garden this time of year is for the let's touch the turkey event.

But it wasn't that. So then this quartet plus the dog walk out and the president said some words and half the time the dog was just sniffing Mike Pence's crotch.

AlexIt was beautiful.

MerlinIt was beautiful. I hope it's a girl.

AlexWow. Yeah. He'd have a problem with it otherwise.

MerlinYeah, absolutely. He'd have to blog about it.

Speaker ABut the president that referred to the dog is a he. He is this here a dog. This dog is the... Let's see if I can find this quote. This dog is incredible. Actually incredible, Trump said. We spent some good time with it. So brilliant and so smart. And he also referred to Conan as co-man. It's like two syllables. like how, you know, your grandmother refers to Conan O'Brien.

MerlinYeah, yeah, or Krav Maga.

Speaker AI saw the late night show with Conan.

MerlinSo he did that. What kind of impact, Debbie, what kind of impact can we expect from the misgendering of the dog? Well, first of all, I should ask you, if you can say, do we know to a certainty that Conan is a lady dog? Is it possible it could be a gender fluid shepherd? Do we know specifically what that dog is working with in the downstairs basement area.

Speaker AWell, Merlin, you should know this, that gender is a spectrum and you'd have to ask the dog how the dog prefers to be called.

AlexExactly, exactly.

Speaker AAnd you can put genitals all you want, but that's not going to actually give you the information of how the dog wishes to interact with the world.

MerlinWell, is it the sort of dog that would be able to, like, I don't know, like, tap twice for boy? I mean, how do you find out what it wants to do? It's a pink. It's way beyond pink and blue at this point.

AlexWe're talking about, you know, if we were having a not woke gender reveal party, you know, this is pre the dog being able to identify themselves. Would we see pink or blue?

Speaker AYou would see just apparently raw anger because the other thing the president said was they talked about maybe they had to muzzle the dog for this White House event. Oh, wow. Because it's trained to be a very specific and vicious attack dog. Right. And then the president made this whole big deal about, no, we're not going to be Muslim. It's fine because then he only gets angry. He, he, he, danger. He only gets angrier.

MerlinThey.

Speaker ABecause, you know, men can't keep their emotions in check.

MerlinSo, I don't know.

Speaker AIf we go by what the president says, it is man. It is he. Dog is he.

MerlinWell, I mean, are we still, have we moved beyond don't ask, don't tell? Is this a dog that can continue to serve in this unit with a spectrum genital dysphoria?

Because of the troops, you know? Well, no.

AlexApparently, trans folks are being banned from the military. So does this dog apply?

MerlinWell, it hurts. It harms unit cohesion, Alexandra.

AlexIt does. It does. It's just so distracting.

MerlinIt makes people not want to follow orders to know that there are people who sit down to pee.

AlexI know. It's very upsetting.

MerlinYeah. You need a different hole for that.

Speaker AWell, okay, but then when the dog does or does not sit down to pee, then does the dog go wash its paws?

MerlinOh, my God. We have to bring in. Can we dial in, Dr. Don?

AlexDoes he use the or they or it, whatever the dog is?

MerlinYes, yes, yes. Listen, Debbie, Debbie, I know you're having a very busy day. I know you're in the deep state. There's a lot of work happening behind the scenes to dismantle this administration. Is there anything that we should be watching in the coming days and weeks? Is there anything that you're keeping your eye on that we should be monitoring?

Speaker AWell, I have to keep my eye on the giant swirling nightmare that is the impeachment inquiry, just because I swim in that festering pool every day, whether it's chlorinated or not.

AlexHow many hours a day do you watch it?

Speaker AWell, when it was the hearing day, when it was actually the hearings were gaveled in only sporadically. And I was working on things involving the hearing, but I kind of had it on mute off in the background. And then when something important would pop up, people that I work with would send me updates about, oh, this is a thing that's happening now. Hello, it's something. And then we do things with it.

MerlinIn my community, it was just a series of tweets and texts that were just simply this. holy shit Fiona Hill holy shit Fiona Hill

Alexsame same whenever I get an uh oh this is deep state

Merlinso I'm going to say this Alexandra oh god I'm going to get in so much trouble and Debbie if you need to dip you can dip but I ask you about this I ask you about this in our super secret bespoke private text channel hmm those incredibly competent career diplomats, especially those four over those two days. Did they trip any hairs on the back of your neck, Alexandra? Oh, I don't know. I've been coming. Help me out here.

AlexDid they set off your gaydar? Oh, is that what we're talking about? Oh, yeah. Totally gay.

MerlinTotally gay. Okay. Okay. Good. Good. All four of them totally. That's why I said, and I couldn't say it publicly on Twitter, when I said I would love to see an AMC series about these incredibly competent career diplomats who are serving so faithfully in these difficult places. What I'm really saying is, like, I want to know, and I'm not saying you have to make it dirty, but I love the idea that the entire diplomat corps that's so fucking competent career people, that almost all of them are really funny, dry gay people.

very dry sense of humor i'm imagining i imagine that the parties get pretty fun not weird but like i want to hang with them i want to hang with fiona they're a rainbow party group i think there's

Alexgot to be a lot of logistics involved like a rainbow party has to be hard to plan but i think

Merlinthey could pale it off do you sure are you sure you want to say rainbow party the do i not want to say rainbow because wasn't that a thing wasn't rainbow party a rainbow parties aren't real we all

Alexknow rainbow parties.

Speaker ASorry, sorry, sorry.

AlexWow. Wow, really. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless.

Speaker AUnless. Unless. Unless.

AlexMm-hmm.

Speaker AMost of these people are stationed in Kiev in Ukraine. So what sort of rainbow decorations does Party City Kiev have?

MerlinOh. It's coded. Oh. It's got to be coded.

Speaker ARight.

MerlinYeah. Mm-hmm.

Speaker ASo it's going to be that joke from the office where it's just the sign that Dwight prints out that says, it is your birthday, period.

MerlinThat is still hanging on the wall in the lounge at our house right now. My daughter will be, I bought it for my daughter for her birthday and she will not let us take it down. Show art. Deep State Debbie, thank you so much. I know you're so busy dismantling the elected president and his administration who's doing so bigly well stock market. But thank you so much for taking the time to visit with us. Can we call you again if we need insight?

Speaker AYeah, definitely. Especially this time of day, I'm usually not as busy. and then things get crazier in the afternoon when there are tweets and White House events and things go sideways.

MerlinWe'll put a rainbow flag in the flower pot if we need you. And then we'll meet you in a garage and vape.

AlexHi. Once we, now that we've talked about the dog, Can we talk about the turkeys?

MerlinYeah, sure. Yeah, that was a really weird speech.

AlexThat was...

MerlinIt was short and intense. And it's so troubling when he has to nominally read off a teleprompter. It's always weird. When he has to read off a teleprompter, he obviously has very little idea of what's going to be on there because he'll say something and then say, so true.

That's a pretty good sign. And then he'll do these little diversions. He's obviously very bored when he has to read the teleprompter. teleprompter. But I have to say, this did not feel like a Stephen Miller speech. It's written by somebody who was probably told by some friends that they're funny at some point, because there

Alexwere jokes. There were turkey jokes in it. And there always are turkey jokes.

MerlinWell, like Barack Hussein Obama, a lot of people forget the Hussein part. Barack Hussein Obama

Alexcould pull that off. Yes. It was shocking, actually. Yeah. I mean, he's not a naturally

Merlinfunny guy but in this case it was very upsetting and then so it was a jokey kid kid ish event but then he also felt the need to talk about adam schiff adam schiff's basement and i i'm like the

Alexpeople who've tuned in to watch this aren't gonna know what the fuck he's talking about

Merlinno i don't think so it's one thing like i i so i do this thing in my this really upsets my wife i don't i don't i'm not proud of this but a lot of times in the evening in my repose um i will i I will listen to the president's rallies. I'll watch them. I'll have them on on YouTube and just listen with headphones because it's really quite a spectacle.

AlexOh, yeah.

MerlinI mean, it's and when you watch them often enough or, you know, obviously, if you follow somebody like Daniel Dale, you learn that, boy, he really he just gets up there and plays the greatest hits. He continues to say things like, I just saw the light go off. CNN turns off the cameras when I talk about the media, which, you know, it doesn't matter. that's not true because it's pro wrestling, but it's like I've got a very large three-year-old bruise that I continue to push and I don't know why. But in this event, what were your takeaways from the turkey trot?

AlexI don't know. This is going to make me sound like the Fox news lady who was like, makes him sound like a big baby, and then people got all in a chizzy about that. But I think it just shows that he's becoming more even more disconnected with his base in that he he doesn't you know like the folks who love that they don't have a politician and you know there's one of them and he speaks he speaks his mind you

Merlinknow you you that that's why this is what i like about him yeah but but when he's a fighter right

Alexright and you know i'm not a millionaire but i could be someday so i'm bringing back your coal jobs they want to take away your guns but i mean he once he's actually going to start spouting crazy things that they don't understand i what happens then you know like they're not gonna go

Merlinvote for bernie but they've got i feel like in the weirdest way they've got the same problem we do and that like well like first of all i mean like right now god the stupid the fucking field is so crowded right now with all these ding-a-ling Democrats and it's like guys drop out if you're in single digits drop out and go help somebody else please this is really it's kind of we're getting in really kind of late in the game now for the single digit folks to be distracting everybody I feel like and it's like

the thing is that we need somebody we can rally around and they've got somebody they can rally around. Yep. Yep. And I don't know if there's going to be another person that people are going to want to rally around nearly as much. And it would have to be, I don't know, I cannot think of who it would be, unless it is the late macho man Randy Savage. I'm not sure who it would be that they could rally around as much as that fella. And that's the challenge.

AlexI you know I have been to a Bernie rally and was shocked at how good it was shocked at how animated and I I mean he's not a corpse but I I don't know it it it's it's hard to explain his

Merlinmessage his message has been consistent for his whole career people try to ding him on like saying the same thing over and over but that's the point yeah that's the entire point is that here's the message and it's like it's not he doesn't feel the need to you know slice and dice that for a given market and that's that's his power but i don't know let's see now i'm sad well no but i

Alexmean it felt like most of those people i mean who goes to political rallies people who want to see show and press and then if you're part of the choir or you've been pulled out of a line because you're in a wheelchair or you're black and they want you on TV but this felt like oh these are a bunch of fanboys which normally I would be all grossed out by um but because he just says the

same thing over and over again i mean that's i could be a good thing for no absolutely it's but

Merlinlike you know there's all this hand-wringing this week because the latest couple polls show liz dropping um in what appears to be movement away from medicare for all and increased interest in mayor pete and you know there's all this hand-wringing about that and i don't think he's gonna be the savior i'm glad he's there i'm glad there's a there's an out gay veteran running for president but i'm super glad about that i'm glad that's the world we live in but like i don't know man maybe i may have got a chop on the brain but the mckenzie consulting stuff does not make me feel

no i mean he's he was a cia stooge with a special dance we don't need that

AlexI'll say it. I think, and this is a strong word, I think I hate Mayor Pete.

MerlinI really, really. Do you like the idea of Mayor Pete?

AlexI mean, well, that's the idea. This is coming directly from Chapo, but he is, you know, something for everybody.

Speaker AHe's gay. He's in the militaries from the Midwest.

Alexand oh I wrote it down because what Amber said was so funny I don't know why uh fuck fuck maybe oh he's a one-size-fits-none little asshole and I'm like yes that is Mayor Pete one-size-fits-none

Merlinalso it also that also defines a certain Delaware Democrat where uh it's like who is excited about that business did you watch Saturday Night Live this weekend it was very funny I I occasionally I know it's not hip. It's not hip.

AlexIt's not that it's hip. It's that Disney Plus is now my life that I predicted. But I heard there was a Democratic debate bit that was good or something.

MerlinIt's pretty fun. Well, yeah, it was also just all the Will Ferrell stuff was great. I mean, the Will Ferrell ventriloquist dummy stuff, the Thanksgiving dinner was funny. It was all funny.

AlexOh.

MerlinAnd then by then, it's like 7.15. So I read a book, maybe two or three, put a few new papers on it. challenge

Alexchallenge

Merlinoh this is going to be a quick it's probably

Alexwhat Mayor Pete's husband experiences

Merlinhi-oh whoa whoa oh

AlexI spend too much time thinking about if he's a top or a bottom, and I just don't.

MerlinCan you have two bottoms? Is that a thing?

AlexThere are, hmm. Hmm.

MerlinI mean. Is that one of those things like, you know, I only lie, I only tell the truth? Is it one of those logical conundrums? Can you have two bottoms? Could you have three bottoms? Everybody just lays there and waits.

AlexI mean, this isn't my expertise. I don't know.

MerlinSee, I can imagine a world with multiple tops. It's harder for me to imagine multiple bottoms, but that's probably a failure of my own imagination, Mary.

AlexI feel like there's extra hardware that must be involved.

MerlinOh, you've given me much to think about, some special balloon animals.

AlexHe might have some Dr. Manhattan toys in that closet.

MerlinI mean, who wouldn't? It's 2019, you know? It's widely available. The challenge this week, well, okay. Now, in my own defense, I thought I was not very involved in the setup of the challenge, which was to have been set up a Minecraft server. I don't even know who to contact. I guess Matt. Matt, the part-time Minecraft website administrator. But the week got by us, and so the challenge this week was in some form or fashion to play Minecraft.

Alexyou know what it's called yeah oh man so minecraft yeah yeah did have you ever had you ever played

Merlinminecraft before this or oh okay cool yes my my daughter plays it a lot a lot and uh it was actually one of her first uh formative to my mind anyway she might say differently but one of her first very formative tween things that I saw uh it was the first time that I saw something that's been described to me by my friends with slightly older kids where where she's watching tv as she watching or she might be it might be Spotify or YouTube or whatever is playing as she plays my

so that's on the tv and then on the iPad she's playing Minecraft while she has her friends on speakerphone that are also playing Minecraft and it all goes on at the same time and they do They do Minecraft things. I've done just a little bit.

Actually, usually with more success than this past week, I apparently have lost all of my Minecraft abilities, and I don't know how to use an iPad anymore. And maybe I have natural scrolling turned off. But basically, I just made a lot of cubes explode.

AlexOh, wait. So you played on an iPad, right?

MerlinYeah, creative mode on an iPad, yeah.

AlexDid you get any skins or use anything like that?

MerlinI didn't want to disrupt her realm. Like she's, so everything that starts.

AlexOh, so you didn't even create your own account? Oh.

MerlinWell, listen, they all, Alexander, they all start as my account. And then they're not my account anymore. All I do, I'm just, I only ever see my account when I'm adding coins.

AlexOh, yeah.

MerlinSo I say, okay, go give me some money. give me some money and you can get coins. And she's got, I think she's got Adventure Time themes. She's got a Greek mythology theme or skin. She's got a whole bunch of them. There's one that looks like a Candy Land, like a pink Candy Land. It seems like a very ambitious game.

AlexIt, I mean, there's a whole history of Minecraft that goes back literally a decade, probably over a decade now. but for the longest time and this is still available it was just the beta in Java and eventually it kind of became like the Gmail beta where you know everybody all of the gaming, all the great gamers are sweating on their computers and

playing Minecraft but for a while it was like the cool thing you know to have the beta and be able to play this and there wasn't an adventure mode, or I'm sorry, there wasn't initially a story mode. Fuck, I keep on fucking it up. Creative versus survival. Yes, thank you. See?

MerlinIt used to be you got eaten by the enders or the creeps come out at night.

AlexThe creepers, yeah.

MerlinYeah.

AlexI might have not said that right.

MerlinThat's fine. Oh, the disc was going to be mad. It's not a popular game, no one will notice.

AlexNo one plays it. but and it was really really fun and you could do the stuff that people still do now like you could build the houses but you could fuck up other people's houses and it was just a fun thing to do and play with your friends but there weren't any skins there was a bigger emphasis I think on the different type of like not supplies

MerlinIt was more of like a competitive game that was about doing stuff in the right order, and you've got to craft your things, right?

AlexYeah, and it's still very much a crafting game, but it was about finding the right materials.

MerlinBecause when you play the real version, don't you start out where you've got a bench, you've got to make a tree into a bench and all that kind of stuff? Isn't that like a whole thing?

AlexYeah, if that's the adventure, story mode, or whatever.

MerlinSurvival mode.

AlexI apologize. Survival mode.

MerlinI don't know. See, what the fuck? Why am I saying words? I don't know. It's computer Lego. It seems like a lot of fun. Why do people like video games? I just don't understand. So what's your background with this? Have you been with this? There's a horrible man that made it, and he's been around a while. It's like a 10-year-old game now. Were you playing it when you were a youth?

AlexOh, yeah. And I got access like right as I was starting college. It was like one of those things where you were excited if in middle school, if you were able to sneak yourself onto Facebook. It was very exciting to be on the Minecraft.

MerlinOh, yeah, yeah, I do. I remember that time for sure.

AlexAnd you could add your you could then invite your friends. And so you were the cool I was a cool gamer girl and all that. And it was a genuinely fun game. But I just, I don't know, like after a while it got kind of boring. Did you die a lot? Oh, yeah.

MerlinIsn't it a hard game? I mean, isn't it kind of hard when you're in the competitive mode?

AlexNo, no, it absolutely is. Super, well, it was hard for me. There was a lot of lava pits. And again, there still are. And there are people like Mike Hurley and Tiff Ferment. They streamed what survival, the hard mode, the one where the mean ghosties get you.

MerlinYeah, the creeps come out at night. You don't mind at night is what they say.

AlexWell, and right now I'm walking around and it's getting dark and I forgot which mode I got started in. But I'm actually playing on an iPad right now.

MerlinAs we speak, you're, okay.

AlexUh-huh. I mean, no, I would never do that. No.

MerlinYou don't sound distracted.

AlexIt's so fucking cool. They have a Chicago world. And I got a holiday skin, so I'm walking around in my winter outfit in Millennium Park. And it's really fucking cool. and just the fact that I mean people used to I don't want to say build these things for real but you know people would make constructions of the Enterprise

and the Millennium Falcon

Merlinoh no that part is absolutely incredible my kids got Minecraft books and like when you see what people have made it's astonishing and that's going to be a private server right?

Alexyes actually if you would like to play Minecraft with, and I'm not going to say us, with me, you can go to give us your you know what? I can do this, Max. Max, listen. I can do this. If you'd like to play Minecraft with me, you can go to giveusyourfuckingmoney.com.

MerlinHere's the thing. You've got money, and we want your money.

AlexWe want it so bad.

MerlinSo you can go there and play. I don't know what happened to me. I've lost my mojo. I was having trouble. I've done it before. I've made things, you know, and I've fenced in sheep and stuff. But for some reason, I kept trying to, all I could do is explode the blocks and make deeper pits. And I don't know. I really, I need to get back at it.

AlexIt makes me sad. I don't think you have to do this anymore. But when you have to kill the pigs and to eat them and have food.

MerlinOh, you pound them on your workstation and that makes it to bacon. And then when you get the bacon, you can sell the bacon. And you use that to buy a small amount of drugs to buy more drugs. and then you get to go to Chicago where it's just a gunshot hellscape. Is that how that works? Yeah. Holiday skin, you call it.

AlexChirac. Well, if you would like to see my holiday skin

Merlinand you want to be big on my work table,

Alexgiveusyourfuckingmoney.com.

MerlinSlam that bacon on the workstation.

AlexUh-huh, uh-huh. You've got to beat it real hard to get it the way you want it.

Thank you.

Show notes

Transcript

160. Deep State Debbie

Show notes

Transcript

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