140. Sentimental Purpose

AlexThis is Do By Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Merlin Mann, Alex Cox, and Max Temkin. And Max Temkin. This week's challenge, watch Blue's Clues.

MerlinHello.

AlexDid I just hear a door close?

MerlinI closed a tab.

AlexOh, that was it. Right, right.

MerlinBut sometimes I like to listen to that song from Tokyo Drift on repeat.

AlexNot the starting of the week. When Max isn't here, I have to just sit and figure out if it's a bit or if it's a reference I should know. I don't know. See, great. We'll have to a great start. Do you like music?

MerlinDo you like music? Unless you want to be. Being told is good. My family and I have been watching Fast and the Furious movies. and that song right there just grabbed me and shook me and i just keep listening to it now

Alexi was about to be like have you have you listened to scott pilgrim and i'm like has merlin listened to scott pilgrim that's silly it's not that's not a dumb question i i'm a big

Merlinfan um and i really i really like the soundtrack songs on there actually my you know my kid likes that movie and likes the soundtrack. So there's a couple of bangers on there that have gotten a lot of repeat play in our house. The metric version of the Envy Adams song is very, very good. And also the titular song, if you'll pardon my saying. I loved you for a thousand years, a thousand years.

AlexNo comment. Canadian girls are so cute. Which is why I say no comment. I have to be. What? I've been told I'm the conduit of the audience. so I don't want to say how hot everyone in that movie is.

Speaker AWhat is happening? I don't even. See. Do you have new pronouns this week you want to tell me about? This is the thing.

AlexThe hottest person in that movie is actually. Oh, God, I almost forgot. Anna Kendrick. And Anna Kendrick often forgets.

MerlinSuperman?

AlexCan I quit? You can cut this out. Our editor, Quinn, is here today instead of Cameron. But when I said who the hottest person in Scott Pilgrim was, I got an enthusiastic nod, which made me excited.

MerlinDoes Quinn agree about Anna Kendrick?

AlexYeah. Would you agree that out of all the characters in Scott Pilgrim, out of all the amazing women, Anna Kendrick has to be number one, despite her brief time in it?

Speaker AAnna Kendrick is just usually the hottest person in any movie.

AlexYeah, that's the thing. She just steals the spotlight. And she forgets. Like, like there's this bit she does on Twitter where she she was like, oh, my God, I forgot I was in Scott Pilgrim. And then, oh, my God, I just remembered I was in Twilight. And I kind of believe her because there's so much. I don't know. Do you like like when? What's her name? Goop. Goop lady forgot that she was in Spider-Man.

MerlinThat was genuine. That was genuinely sweet and hilarious.

AlexYeah. I don't fault her. Like she's got an egg up her pussy and like she's got a lot going on.

MerlinI mean, she. Well, hey, hey. No, but with those movies, they shoot all this different stuff at different times. And it's not like she's Steve Rogers. She's in some scenes, but there's movies she's not in. It's not – I mean she's got a lot to do. She's not going to remember, oh, this thing we shot in Atlanta on green screen is going to be in this movie. I mean it's so silly. I mean like I get why people think it's hilarious, but I thought it was sweet. Now is it – I mean she's little. She's got big eyes that are wide set apart like an alien and she talks fast.

What do you find cute about Anna? No, no, no, no, no. I'm saying these are all things I find attractive personally.

AlexOkay, okay.

MerlinOh, like I don't find fast-talking big-eyed girls attractive. Give me a break. Robin from Stranger Things. Please. Oh, man. Have you seen Robin in Stranger Things yet?

AlexNo. I started watching the second season yesterday because I heard it wasn't as good. And I'm like, well.

MerlinI did a recap just to get into three.

AlexOh, that's a good idea.

MerlinNetflix has an official recap with the kids hosting it.

AlexOh, that's, they're smart. Isn't that smart? I think this Netflix, they're on to something. They could be going.

MerlinI think they're going places.

AlexMm-hmm, mm-hmm.

MerlinRobin, that's all I'm saying, Robin. She works at Scoops Ahoy.

AlexSo endearing.

MerlinAnna Kendrick.

AlexYes, she's attractive. What other big-eyed girl should we objectify?

Speaker AWhat object? Oh, God, come on, you're killing me. Oh. All you do is talk about sex things all the time. No, I don't.

MerlinBut then if you're actually attracted to this, you do. You talk about sex things.

AlexWhen do I talk about sex things? Tell me when I talk about sex things.

MerlinYou talk about people who are a snack. You do that.

AlexThat doesn't mean anything. It means nothing. It means they're – what do you think I mean when I say that?

MerlinI don't know. You talked about scissoring this morning.

AlexWait, what are you talking – no.

MerlinWhat? Yeah, with keyboards.

AlexWe didn't talk this morning. Oh, I'm happy that the scissor keyboards are coming back. Isn't that a sexy thing, scissor? I don't know what you're talking about. No. Oh, God. No. It's too early for you to be lying to me. I'm not lying. I will say that I talk about gender a lot. Aren't you, like, sex positive and shit?

MerlinAre you one of those sex positive people?

AlexI am sex positive as long as no one's having it with me. I'm Catholic. I'm very afraid of everybody. Oh, you're dirty.

MerlinYou are so dirty.

AlexI see Anna Kendrick's eyes, and I'm like, it's a sin.

MerlinI need to go. Only when she does the cups.

AlexI love the cupping.

MerlinI love the cups. Oh, yeah. Only when she wipes away the flour. She's so cute. My problem is I confuse her with Anne Hathaway.

AlexOh, my goodness. No, no, no.

MerlinIt's part, I mean, part of it is the snap to grid problem. Mm-hmm. Of having a similar name. Yes. A slightly similar name. But there are also, like, raven-haired beauties that do movies. And, like, I don't know. I just get confused.

AlexI'll say something nice while Max isn't here. This was the year before I started working at Cards. On the red carpet, I almost said Anna Kendrick. No, not Anna Kendrick. Anne Hathaway was being... Oh, God. Anyway. She's the one that went to school with Elliot Kalin. The Princess Diaries was being interviewed on the red carpet. And for some reason, she was asked, like, what were you doing at your before party? And she's like, oh, we were playing that game, like Cards for Humanity.

And man, I just love it. And the internet, especially college game internet, freaked the fuck out. And so the Cards Against Humanity guys...

MerlinWas it less well-known then?

AlexIt was less... Less well-known in the... I mean, yes. Yes, it was less well-known. And it was not in Target. This was an internet product or something you pirated. And they set up a number that was like, call us Anna Kendrick. And that... Oh, my God! Call us Princess Diaries. and it was the response was like very funny and uh yeah that's all max did a funny the end

Merlinend of anecdote wow i i i concentrated so hard and i didn't understand you set up a phone line so that only only cups lady could call you no princess diaries ms princess diaries oh princess

Alexdiaries said it princess diaries said it so it was um i don't remember what movie is that is that

Merlinthe one where elton john redid the song about her uh diaries died that limo come on that's funny

Alexthat's a word selling other things no that's the thing is like i know it's funny but it is it's early for me as well it's early okay never mind never mind never mind what else did we have

Merlini have so much ios follow up oh yeah sexy people we're talking about sexy people we're not talking

Alexabout why why must you do this what what sort of sexy things listen listen yes listen yes listen

MerlinYou've gone way the fuck out of your way to deal with all your bathing suit issues publicly.

AlexI don't know what that means. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

MerlinOkay. Okay. I have no, literally no libido. None.

Speaker ANone.

MerlinI have not ejaculated since 38 Special was popular. Do you understand? Are you listening closely? I have literally no libido.

AlexYes. Okay. We've established this.

MerlinI ride a Segway, Alex.

AlexSo do I.

MerlinSo do I. No, you don't. You ride it in a room. Oh. That doesn't count. It's in. It's 300 miles on this thing. I move so far out of the way so that I don't seem creepy to somebody.

Speaker AMm-hmm.

MerlinI was trying. I'm on iOS 13. And yesterday, for some reason, my phone locked. Not locked as in locked, but as in like, it doesn't want to go. And I was trying to do the thing where you hold the buttons and do the thing. And half a block or so ahead of me.

AlexOh, the fingering of the phone where you got to like put two in and then one on the side?

MerlinWell, yeah, where you do the hard reboot.

AlexYeah.

MerlinAnd you'll remember from my very early days on – remember my anecdote about 13 where like I couldn't even hard reboot. It was so fucked.

Speaker AYes.

MerlinI had to just wait for it to crash. Yep. Anyway, the point is I was going to my favorite ATM. and I was scooting to my favorite ATM and three quarters of a block ahead of me were two young women and a dog. And I think they were together. One woman, we're walking the dog. And they kept looking back at me because I kept pausing on my Segway, looking really annoyed while I looked at my phone. I think it might have looked like I was a creeper trying to take their picture on a Segway. And so I just pulled over out of view and waited for them to go away. No libido.

No libido.

AlexAll right.

MerlinYou go ahead. Now, who do you think is cute? Princess Diary.

AlexOh, I love Princess Diary. I love Anna Kendrick.

MerlinDo you think Envy Adams is cute?

AlexYeah.

MerlinYou didn't like Captain Marvel.

Alexuh i i yeah no i didn't i'm really problematic i really i re-watched it it's not good but you're

Merlina spicy meatball it is really not i never know what bite i'm gonna get with you i know i don't know okay anyway if anybody wants to send me a libido please hit that bell and respond in comments

Alexfuck me okay uh all right okay well well ios ios you you have follow-up i have follow-up oh okay good you want to start yep yep no oh all right i can start no i can start i um so i don't know

Merlinif this is going i'm gonna stop talking about this and just act like this is the show because it's probably the show hello i'm already back um so uh i love something i have wanted for so long so on the phone the reason i put it on my phone so dumb i mean i want it on my phone because i want my unknown calls to go to voicemail and it's been great the other thing i've wanted for which every phone should have that should be free on every phone is i don't give phone calls from people unless I've approved them. I think they shouldn't even be allowed to leave a voicemail. I think they should go to DevNull.

AlexOoh, interesting. Well, why don't you just not set up your voicemail?

MerlinI got a kid and she might be dead somewhere.

AlexAh, that is fair. Yes.

MerlinThat's a good idea, though. The other thing that they just added, I heard this. I've been watching a lot of videos and reading things about 13 with, like, European men fingering their phones very quickly. Those guys move fast with their little skinny fingers.

Speaker AI'm on the side by side.

MerlinThis is this. And my thumb is doing this. but you can now delete apps from the update screen I said this in our private text channel but this is fucking huge I've wanted this for so you ever get an update for an app and you're like I hate this app I don't use it anymore but I guess I better update it and now if you slide right to left you can hit a delete button

Alexlet me

Merlinso have you done your updates today I don't love the way I do not love at all the way they are doing updates now I don't love that you have to go to like a modal pop-up thing to get to it. I liked it better when it was a tab.

AlexYeah, just tap on your face. Yeah.

MerlinI'm a manual updater.

AlexWell, same, same. Oh, it kind of works like test flight. Oh, interesting. It's very test flighty. Huh. Yes, I suppose. Oh, and you can even delete ones that have been updated recently and scroll and scroll and scroll. Wow.

MerlinI want to be positive about this. It does kind of feel like the kind of thing that should have been there forever. But thank you for adding that. I love that. And I'm saying, listen, you can't run this on your phone unless it's for your work, but you're going to love it.

AlexHey, Max is here. Oh, my God.

MerlinWe barely started.

AlexI know. I know. But please, please delete the apps.

MerlinOkay. I'll try and make this quick. All right. I'm here. Let's get started. This is Max. Alex. Yes. What particular wrath specifically will I incur for myself and my family if I upgrade reminders and or notes?

Speaker AAre they unusable on my unupdated Mac?

AlexOh, interesting. Reminders, yes.

MerlinYou get a real, like the kind of thing that Apple doesn't do very often, which is one of their like, no, seriously, don't do this until all these other devices. You got to update Glass Shark. You got to update Bean Boy. You got to update all my devices. Is that your device name? Oh, my devices.

MaxLet me ask you this. Do you have a system? So I started naming my devices recently because I have too many of them and I can't keep them straight. Like on iCloud, I went on and I was like, oh, my God, I have so many old phones and things in there. So I'm trying to come up with some sort of system to name all of my things.

MerlinThere's a name for that where you try to come up. For example, in the 90s, I started naming every single Apple device after a Simpsons character. And it would reflect something about – well, no. I'm sure I'm the first person to ever do that. But eventually, my tiny, tiny iPod Nano was Maggie, right? Aww. Yeah. But I tried to have – there was auto. There was lots – yeah. But there's a name for that that I'll look up later where you name an array of things.

MaxOn your over your podcasting microphone, is there a little picture of the iPod Nano and it's like, do it for her? Oh, oh, oh. Sucks on my phone.

Nano needs braces.

Speaker AThat's a plan.

MerlinHello, Joe. Poor Bart with the clown bed. I'm trying to find my array. So you're looking for an array. I was going to show you mine and it's funny if I show it to you, then explain the joke.

MaxI started, so I just named everything names off of my cat names doc, but now I can't remember. But now I can't remember which one is which.

Speaker AExactly.

MaxI do like, I called my phone meatball and I do. And I like that. That's my favorite of the three. I called my iPhone meatball. Um, meatball is so cute. And now when I'm in my car, it's like streaming off of meatball.

MerlinI sent you, um, this is from, uh, not too long. It's from April. That's my, that was my device list as of April.

Alexuh well we're on the beta so it's not through yet uh oh to answer your question yeah do not update reminders if you actually use it with your family okay cool cool cool cool cool yep yep yep notes is fine oh why am i not but really why are we not getting this oh no put it into the stupid skype but oh no the stupid skype's in another room quinn is in charge of the scoop oh stupid scooping scooping squint scooping all the skypes um you didn't get it oh that's weird oh you know

Merlinwhat it is it's probably me because for some reason on my uh production machine sending photos

Maxtakes forever or never i don't know why but sometimes it just don't want to do has anyone ever commented that i message is a little janky every single day ever it can be and yes they i

MerlinI think they feel like they have.

MaxHas that been observed? I feel like it's been observed. I've noticed a lot of slow photo sending on iMessage lately where it just sort of hangs indefinitely. Okay. Hang on. Exactly what I just said, like on a Mac or on iOS as well? From my phone on iMessage.

MerlinOh, wow. Okay.

MaxSo yesterday, for example, I was trying to message my magician friend's iMessage group a picture of some cards that I was working on. and I took a couple of pictures and a video and I sent it to the boys in the chat. To the Magic Boys. That's the name of the chat, the Magic Boys. And then it has a little emoji of a top hat. We demand respect.

We demand to be taken seriously. We demand to be taken seriously. And so I was sending my pictures. So I sent two photos of some cards and a little video and I sent and it had that little bar where it's like sending sending sending sending sending looking at it right and it was and it was just fucking hanging there and i and i walked away and i came back after like six or seven minutes it was still just like sending sending sending so then i just i was like damn this is weird and then i just did it again right so i like put the same pictures and video in the message and just hit send again

and then all of a sudden just sort of diarrhea it out all six very quickly i know why so it got caught in the lint trap and then i had to shake them all loose but then it sent two of everything

Alexwhy did it happen it it it happened because max i assume has his video stuff on like to record in uh what's the default right now i think the default is 4k no i think it's oh yeah mine's 4k yeah and so as he's sending the video it's compressing like in real time and it's going slow but so the second time you send it i happen to know that the video is exactly only seven seconds long the well it still needs to compress it like it's still it doesn't matter how i get it

Maxfor just photos yeah there were two pictures and it wouldn't send the pictures either i just the

Merlinphoto i just sent you from my phone has already arrived yes riddle me that alex yes okay if you're

Alexso smart about compression like okay think about you're so smart about video codex riddle me that

Maxwhy didn't it work with the pictures have you what do you mean why did it work with why didn't

Alexthe pictures go because it doesn't go it you sent it all at once one of my grandkids respond to me

Merlinon Facebook.

AlexI don't...

MerlinThat's my devices. Do you see a pattern?

AlexOkay, there we are.

MaxShould I name... Maybe I should name all of my devices some sort of meat. Glass talk. You don't care. You love that fact. So the phone is meatball. And then the iPad, what would be like... So then I have iPad would be some sort of meat and the laptop. You can name them all after different meat items. So the laptop would be like the Zeppelin, Merlin. Remember we went to the steakhouse and we got the Zeppelin of meat came to our table.

MerlinYou could call it rib roast.

MaxYes. Okay.

Speaker AOkay.

MaxNow we're fucking cooking with fire. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Here we go.

AlexWhat's the flattest of meats? So what was that?

MaxWhat did we have? We had a rib roast and it came in the Zeppelin.

MerlinA Zeppelin of rib roast. I made the perfect rib roast the other night. Finally, I've mastered it. I've finally mastered it, I think.

Speaker ALike a ziti?

MerlinIt was a perfect doneness. Sous vide. I went up to 133 because it's been a little bit loose if I do it below 130. I did it at 133 for like eight hours, and it was amazing. It was like edge-to-edge. For the first time, perfect edge-to-edge medium rare. And then reheating? Shit, dog. It's all about the reheating. You reheat it to one degree below whatever you cooked at, and it's amazing.

MaxDid you guys see the news about cold pasta? No. It was really interesting. I think we need to get Siracusa on this. Siracusa. Basically, so someone measured in a lab. They were testing people's like, ah, fuck. Now I don't know what I'm talking about. Is it maybe their glycemic index? Is that your blood sugar after you eat something?

I don't know.

MerlinBut yeah, I know what you're talking about. It's the thing. You want to find low glycemic foods because it's the kind of sugar that gets into your system more slowly. High glycemic is how you spike and get all diabetes-ish.

MaxCorrect. So if you eat a piece of – Diabetes-ish. If you eat like Alex and you just have a piece of white bread for lunch, it's basically like simple sugar, right? Yes, sure. Yes.

Speaker AI like to sit in a tub of apple butter eating a loaf of bread.

MaxSo they found that if you eat a bunch of pasta, if you take it right out of the pot and you eat it, right? And it's hot pasta that was just cooked. It makes your blood sugar go way up because it turns into sugar right away, right?

AlexRight.

MaxBut if you let the pasta sit and get cold and refrigerate it overnight and then you eat the pasta, it does not make your blood sugar go way up in the same way. It's more like a complex carbohydrate.

MerlinThat sounds like an MSG kind of thing. That's crazy.

MaxAnd wait, and check this out. Then someone was like, well, is it the temperature? What is it? So they were like, let's reheat it. And you would expect that if you reheat it, it would make your blood sugar go crazy again, right? It would turn back into a simple. But no, if you reheat it, it's even better. It makes your blood sugar go up even less. Isn't that weird? That's, you know.

MerlinI'm seeing an article on the BBC from 2014. It's reheated pasta less fattening.

AlexThis sounds like an O Magazine type of situation.

MerlinI woke up this morning and re-listened to the This American Life episode about MSG. And it's still very, very good.

AlexI have never heard that.

MerlinNo, it's great.

AlexMSG.

MerlinIt's really good because it's got a double turns out.

AlexOh, love those.

MerlinThat guy was crazy. Because, you know, people have been saying for years, oh, my God, that guy was so – I'm so glad he's not my crazy uncle, Dr. Steele, which is a hot name. But, yeah, yeah. So whatever actually happened in the late 60s involving that letter to the New England Journal of Medicine or, as he put it, the Medicine Journal, you know, in New England because he's 90. Here.

MaxSo I saw this article about the pasta. Sorry, Merlin. You were in the middle of a story.

MerlinNo, all I was going to say was MSG isn't bad. You're all lying and faking.

MaxWhat was the doctor's name he came up with?

MerlinBecause he was claiming that it was a joke on total crock of shit. Right. It was like ho-ho. He came up with a ping pong name.

MaxYeah, it was very ping pong. So I found this on Reddit, which is where I get all of my medical and science news. Your health and food safety news. Yeah, and I saw it on Reddit, and it says, Cooling pasta for 24 hours reduces calories and insulin response while also turning into a prebiotic. And these positive effects only intensify if you reheat it. Does it help if you have it with Soylent? I think so.

What's wrong with Soylent? And then I went into the comments and it seems to be, people seem to be corroborating it.

AlexWell, if it's on Reddit, then.

MaxI mean, that's science. That's peer reviewed.

AlexSo has anybody tried to do this like a, I would love it if someone did like a super size me of carbs, like which the, like a documentary, like, okay, I'm only going to eat this specific carb for one month. Let's see how fat I get. But a doctor has to monitor you because after a month of eating just carbs, your body is probably going to acclimate to it, right? So let's say you have one month of hot pasta every single day. And then the second month you have pasta, but it is cold.

And then, wow. The second month.

MerlinAnd then the third month you have pasta that has cooled and then been reheated.

AlexYeah. So you're either just going to get fatter or fatter. But you're going to get fatter. What if you fold it into itself a thousand times like Valyrian steel?

MaxOh, interesting. Like a Hanso Snort. Yeah. Eat it on dragon glass.

MerlinI think we need to get Siracusa on this. Siracusa. That's really pretty much all I had. The other thing is I'm going to figure out how to follow radar.

MaxSo I'm eating. So I think if we could call this the Siracusa method, I think what you're supposed to do is you're supposed to have the cold pasta with a pre-diced garlic that you get at Costco.

Merlinoh yeah 100 100 and then get some of that shaker cheese you can always subs if you don't have ricotta cheese just use yogurt that's what i do

Maxmerlin i'll go i'll i'll back you up here the shaker cheese is good i i'm under no illusions that it's parmesan cheese it's like it's almost its own thing i like a pecorino romano pecorino romano but but the shaker cheese is almost its own genre of cheese also make those cool chairs

Alexit's like it's like Velveeta like it's just a different it's like

MaxI would say it's like it's like Chipotle like I am I'm under no illusions I do not think that Chipotle is authentic Mexican food but I like Chipotle it's its own it's its own thing I enjoy it

Merlinit's been reheated on premises

Maxyeah yeah it's a pretty big deal if you think about it I think when I was on food safety I was recently on the podcast that we all know and love food safety talk that was so good and I think both of the I think that Professor Chapman I think Professor Chapman and Dr. Don both said that they wouldn't eat a Chipotle.

MerlinWow. I love what Professor Chapman said about salad blew my mind. I never thought about it. You talk about it. It fucking turns out. I don't know if you heard this, Alex, but Professor Chapman said something so smart. Did we already talk about this?

AlexNo. I have not heard this episode yet.

MerlinMax was asking one of his typically very, very strange, obsessive questions. And long story short, what Professor Chapman said was there are certain places where he's gone in and looked at the – he'll look at the score that a place got from the health department. And obviously if it's terrible, he won't go. But basically what he's saying is like let's put it this way. These are my words, not his. is if you go to the county fair or whatever, and you have your choice between like a corn dog, onion ring on a stick that's recently been fried versus it's a July day, you have that versus a salad.

Survivor salad bar.

Speaker AOh.

MerlinAll the fixings.

Speaker AAll the fixings. We've got mayo.

MaxWe've got coolant.

Speaker AWe've got egg yolks. unsalted butter we've got diabetic salt all the fixes

Merlinbullets yeah it's like there's so much shit that can go bad in a salad go wrong go break bad Salad breaking bad.

MaxI recently got a big tub of spinach from the grocery store, and I've been working my way through it.

MerlinSaute it down to a tablespoon?

MaxI've been making a healthy spinach salad for myself. But I recently went and made a salad, and I was just trying to get some food into my body, and I was quick, and I just straight up forgot to wash it. I just took a big –

AlexOh, no.

MaxI took a big, big wad of spinach out of the thing, and I put it in the bowl, and I tossed it with some dressing, and I just chowed down on it. And about an hour later, I was sitting there like playing computer games or something. And I was thinking about, I don't know why it popped into my head. But I was like, oh, my God, I didn't wash that spinach. I was like, I might die now. It's like realizing you forgot to wipe or something. Yeah, that might be it. Like, this might be the end of my life. I was fine.

MerlinBut you're like, oh, did I black out? How do I not remember that?

MaxYeah.

MerlinI mean, it's like driving drunk. I mean, it's like, you know, you're not supposed to. You literally can't remember it, so it's not a crime.

MaxYeah, it's like, well, it's like, I don't know.

MerlinIf you black out, it's not your fault. It's like you're not really You're not supposed to do it But lots of people do it And they're okay Yeah but if you can't remember it

MaxYou didn't actually do it But you're not It's like you're not You're not supposed to It's frog in wings You're not supposed to Not wash your spinach But lots of people do it And they survive Yeah How bad could it be

MerlinI feel like maybe it's How bad could it be My wife washes everything Woo Even if we get a thing That's pre-washed She doesn't trust it She puts it in that thing She does it to spin her She washes it real real good

MaxI get a little So now the greens I get are They're called triple washed and it says we washed it. It says triple washed. We washed it so you don't have to. You're saying am I being cucked to believe it? Am I getting cucked by Whole Foods?

MerlinSee, if it's just for me, I know I will get in trouble if I didn't wash that, if it's something I'm giving my daughter. But if it's just me and it says washed, the thing is if you get one of those fucking... But what if it says triple washed? Triple washed. Well, I mean, what is washing? I don't know if that'll hold up in court If I understand correctly These is washed three times Could you walk me through your process Is this the ways that you wash in the salad parts Does that go through a tumble dry

MaxUh oh Uh oh

MerlinAnd then that truck driver just pees on all the boxes

MaxYou're saying You're saying But it says on there It says we washed it

MerlinIt says triple washed

MaxTriple washed

MerlinNow what they're going to say is I don't remember putting that on there, so it's not a crime. It's like drunk driving or shoplifting. All right, so I'm going to call my—

AlexIt's a victimless crime.

MerlinI'm going to call my iPhone meatball. If you go to Home Depot and you steal some things, like for your plants.

MaxIt's not—I don't think it's—if you go into the—if you need one nut and you just slip it in your pocket and you leave, I don't think that's stealing.

MerlinRight.

MaxIt's just one grape.

MerlinFor that bespoke hipster store called One Nut. No, it's just... A $76 wooden bolt.

MaxI stand by this. I just... I can't... It's not really illogical...

MerlinIf all you need is like an eyeglasses screw, they don't even want to run your credit card for that shit, right?

MaxIt's... I don't... It's not... I'm not making like a logical...

MerlinYou're saving... You're literally saving them money on processing fees.

MaxI'm not making like a logical point here, but it's more of a just I know it when I see it. You know, it's like pornography. Like I just... I know it when I see it and I know that taking...

MerlinThat's also why you shouldn't pay for pornography.

MaxI know that taking one nut from Home Depot is not stealing. Does anyone agree with me here? No.

Speaker AIt's not, Quinn.

MaxWell, especially if you do it often, if you're a regular customer. Quinn's just giving me a face. Okay. Well, listen, I know that I'm right. I know that it's not stealing to take one nut from Home Depot.

AlexOkay. Here's the thing. I think it's stealing, but I do not think it's wrong. How about that? Oh, that's how mutic. I am into this. Yeah.

MaxIt's not even stealing, though.

AlexIt's stealing.

MerlinIt's not. It's not technically stealing. I don't think it is. If they don't see it or know.

AlexOkay. Uh-huh. Just like drunk driving. It's like drunk driving.

MaxIt's less than one cent. Oh, it's so much less than one cent. Because you're getting a bag of 500 nuts for a dollar. If you buy a Hue bulb once a year, it more than makes up for all the screws. You know what I mean? But they want to sell me a burlap sack full of nuts for $1. A nut sack? A nut sack.

Speaker AWe'll sell you a nut sack. They want to give me a whole sack of nuts for a dollar. You can't even lift it up onto the conveyor belt.

MaxYour cost per nut is less than a penny. Your nut unit? Yeah. And if it's that little, I just don't think it's theft. No. It's like having one olive from the salad bar at the grocery store. Right. If I rang that olive up, if I was like, one olive, please, guess what the scale would say? $0.00. It wouldn't register any wait.

MerlinYou know, when we're waiting in line somewhere, like we have a regular, my daughter and I have a regular ice cream date on Fridays. And we get the same thing every time. And it's Friday ice cream. It's a special thing we do. And the kids, the teens in front of us at the gelato place really exhaust the resources of this place on samples from Tiny Spoons. And I really do wish there were a way I could say, I'm a cash-paying money guy and I overtip. Could the teens, could I just sweep the teens aside? Do you know what kind of money that place is?

There should be a place where you just go get your free ice cream. Not act like it's a sample. There should just be a place where you can steal ice cream. So people like me, do you follow my logic? They should have a special door out of which Max can walk with his single nut or screw. Don't tie up the lines for the people who want to spend money on a nut sack.

MaxOkay, it's like when you're at the grocery store and you open up the ice cream and you have one lick off the top of the pint of ice cream. They can't even tell.

MerlinYou put the plastic back on top? Uh-huh. I opened a hydrogen peroxide today, and it didn't have a seal. So I'm not sure if I should seek it.

AlexI don't know how to fix that problem.

MaxSo, all right. So I've got my iPhone as Meatball, and my MacBook Pro is Rib Roast. And now I've got the Apple Watch, which is smaller than a Meatball, and the iPad, which is bigger than the meatball

Merlinbut smaller than the rib roast. What are those tiny things? Roulette? Not roulette. Roulette? Like, what are those tiny or, like, those little...

MaxChicken nugget? What is it? Nugget.

Speaker ANugget would be so cute. Nugget.

MaxNugget. Okay, yep. So we got nugget, meatball, rib roast, and what's my iPad going to be?

AlexWhat's the flattest of the meats?

MaxOh, uh... Veal?

MerlinThat's the youngest of it.

Maxwe've got you could have like a tomahawk steak

Alexthat's problematic

Merlinhow about do you still want to be cute like a cat yeah I think a cat name I was going to say Flatiron but let's see

MaxFlatiron you can name a cat Flatiron but it would have to be one of those like it'd have to have like a fucked up face like one of those like rescue cats

Alexyeah the broken punched ones

Maxyeah and you call him Flatiron he's a mean old boy I've been through a lot. Slitty flat iron recording.

AlexYeah.

MaxYou get near him and he hisses at you. What's bigger than a meatball but smaller than a rib roast?

AlexIs there a technical term for like a slice of ham? Like what is a slice name of something?

MaxOh. Filet? What is a – yeah, what's a restaurant – a thin slice? A prosciutto. Maybe that's what I'll call it. Prosciutto. Nugget, meatball, prosciutto, and rib roast. Prosciutto. Prosciutto.

MerlinOh, oh, Parma. Parma would be cute. That fancy Spanish ham. Maybe I'll call it prosciutto de parma.

Speaker AI was thinking about that.

MerlinI was thinking about that this morning. How many names of things. I don't know what causes that bit to flip in my head when I hear that particular rhythm in a word. But I don't know why. It's just hilarious to me when I hear that rhythm.

MaxWe've got a running, the cards, the writers, we have a running joke that we just call, what is it? I can never remember. What is it? Booka de Batbo or Batbo de Bucca?

Speaker AI can never remember.

MaxBoopo de, Boopo de, Boopo de Beco. We always call it Boopo de Butthole. That's good. Yeah, Boopo de Butthole. Say that the next time you go by. You guys want to go to Boopo de Bethole? Butthole de Butthole. Stupid. Hi, Quinn.

Quinn's here. Yeah. I know. I thought Quinn wasn't available to direct our episode of Dubai Friday.

AlexNo, Quinn is not available to – Quinn has worked today. Cameron is unavailable today. Okay. Quinn is – He said Quinn's not available. Don't step behind the curtain. This is very – this was a very last-minute situation. Although Quinn had the same situation this morning that I did. Max, did you know that today is a work holiday?

MaxFor cards?

AlexYeah.

MaxYes.

AlexI didn't. I thought the rapture had happened. Came in this morning. I'm like, uh-oh. Uh-oh. I'm not ready for this. And then I just kind of sat around for a while.

MerlinIt's so funny to fuck with you like that. Just come in. Just all pants and skirts on the ground and like collars from cats. And you're like, oh, shit. It happened.

MaxIt happened. They got raptured. I'm left behind. It was posted in Slack on the company channel. Nick was like, don't come in.

AlexIt was tomorrow don't come in. And what it is is the company holiday calendar event is for two all-day days. See, I'm on the beta, and this is not a bit. Fantastic Hell isn't working on iOS 13, so I just can't.

MaxWhy is – It's quiet.

AlexIt's nice.

MaxHow do you change the name of your computer? It's under sharing, right?

AlexNo, it should be under user profile.

MaxNo, it's under – I believe computer name is a setting under sharing. what's a sharing you click on sharing and then yeah well it used to be yeah that used to be one way that's how i can change my username on the computer but that's not what i'm trying to do

Alexoh oh so do you want to just dude dude dude dude dude go to the top level and just hit enter

Merlinlike arrow up up up up until you're all the way in my case macintosh hd because i'm old school

Maxso your look you want to change the name of oh yeah there you go don't do all recording though Rib roast. No, it's got it.

AlexI got it. He's not controlling. Quinn's got all the... Rib roast. Yeah.

MerlinRib roast. Rib roast. All right, all right. Game controller. I don't actually care. We can talk about other things. You guys want to start the show?

AlexI think so.

MerlinYeah. Boy, you've been sighing a lot lately, Max. Are you in a sighing state of mind these days? I'm tired today. I did a lot of magic last night.

MaxDo you watch some... I watched Stranger Things. Do you watch a little Stranger Things? I watched the whole thing, yeah. I'm not... I don't think I'm done with it yet.

MerlinWell, I got to the last 15 minutes. I got to what I think is probably the big ending, and I was like, shit, I should just go to bed. I just painted miniatures and watched Netflix all day.

MaxI did not care for Stranger Things season two. I felt that they were doing sort of a thing I've complained about on Dubai Friday before, which is what I would call checkmark filmmaking, where they're sort of like, before they write the season, they're like, okay, they put a bunch of checkboxes down, and they're like, okay, we've got to write it so that it checks all these boxes. And I don't think that's – I really resent watching –

MerlinSeason two, just to be clear.

MaxSeason two. I really resent watching media like that. And I did not think season two of Stranger Things was very good. And then season three, I was really into it. I thought it was great. And I thought they were able to.

MerlinI thought the pacing was relentless. It was so fun.

MaxYeah. I thought they really got out. I thought they were like very creatively liberated from the burden of recreating season one. And it was much more fun to watch.

MerlinAnd just the ways that, I don't know, the characters all got to get so interesting. And for the most part, like got to be very interesting and do their own thing. and like group up. But, you know, one thing that sucks sometimes in a popular Space Wars franchise

Speaker Ais you're like,

Merlinwhy'd the team break up and go to different places? Like, that usually sucks.

Speaker AYou can pull it off,

Merlinbut like you make the team go to different places for like the whole movie

Speaker Aand it sucks. But in this case, it was groups of people that were doing different things. And then in the end,

Merlinlike a symphony, it kind of all comes together. I don't want to spoil it, but I thoroughly enjoyed this season. I like those kids. Oh, just the relationship between the Scrooge and Boy team.

AlexOh, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

MerlinMax, how much do you love Erica? Who's Erica? You can't spell America without Erica. Oh, yeah, she's great. Is she new this season?

MaxI think so. That's Lucas's sister. And I said, Merlin, I really liked you as the mayor this season. I thought you had a great performance. Ha ha ha!

Speaker AHa ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

MerlinCan you believe how much shit he puts up with and the stuff that he's in? He's in Saw!

Speaker AEvery time I've seen Saw, I forget that he's in Saw.

MaxOh, was the finger chopper bit a little riff on Saw? Was that like a sort of a fourth wall?

MerlinOh my God, the riffs and riffs. You know what, Alex? See this so we can talk about it. There's so many references in this. They have gone completely over the top. with the references, and I'm not going to say it.

AlexWhat?

MerlinGo watch TV.

AlexTake the day off.

MerlinWas that a reference? I did. I watched Survivor China yesterday. Am I being stupid? Is this just occurring to me, but it's really obvious?

Speaker AI mean, I don't know if that was.

MerlinI think the relentless Russian pursuer is very clearly a reference to a popular franchise that started in 1984. I think the confronts. Huh? Terminator? Yes. Terminator? Yes. He looks like him.

Speaker AOh, my God.

MerlinOkay. watch tv so have you tried a game controller with ios 13 yet i have not no okay i don't play that many games on ipad but i think it'd be fun for my kid be neat if she can do that for minecraft

Alexi'm excited i don't know i think we talked about this a while ago i feel like game developers are kind of split 50 50 on the whole apple arcade thing and who's it gonna most benefit in terms

Merlinwith developers big developer or like medium developers like do you know i think medium like

Alexlike the like the um monument valleys of the world like those this tiny design studios what about zach you think it's good for zach i don't know i i actually have not talked to him about this i don't know that'd be interesting to see max we are throwing to you to get oh never mind

Maxhe's not on his phone that's i'm changing the name of my phone okay oh i apologize um sorry to

AlexSo is Apple Arcade good for friend Zach Gage?

MaxOh, yeah. I talked to, well, I can't say if it was Zach or not Zach, but I talked to a developer who we know who is launching some title on Apple Arcade. And I said, hey, is this a good deal? I mean, because how does it work exactly? And so essentially, I mean, the basics of it are the more people that play your game, I think the more piece of the pie you get. But also, they'll give you a bunch of money to make a really cool iOS game. And I will say, funding iOS games is a real challenge.

Like, if you want to make an ambitious iOS game, like, it's very hard to get money up front. You just don't know what's going to be. It's a very crowded platform, so it's very hard to tell if your thing is going to be a hit or not. And if you don't make it really fast, it's going to be really tough.

MerlinIf you don't have a huge first day, isn't that, like, you're kind of doomed a little bit? Unlike Kickstarter, as we learned from you. But isn't that part of the problem?

Maxif you don't have a big first week. Yeah, that's possible. I mean, probably the fall off is pretty steep because I think it tends to be pretty fatty. You know, like people get into something and then they forget about it. But no, I think developers seem to be fairly happy. I thought for sure someone was getting ripped off or something and some sort of raw deal that was happening. But no, from everything I can tell, people seem to be pretty happy about this.

AlexThat's what it seemed like at WWDC. But I feel like ever since the... Merlin, do you know about the ridiculous phishing cloning incident.

MerlinIs this the one with the $10 a week app?

AlexNo, no. There's this amazing game called Ridiculous Fishing. Max, tweet link the story for me.

MaxHang on, I'm going to sneeze. I was hoping you would tell it.

AlexOh, okay. Hand me.

MaxThat sounded really moist.

AlexThat was a moist one.

MerlinThat was a big dad sneeze. You know what sucks is then after you do that and then you know there's a booger, but you don't find it for a couple hours. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's on my collar. Awesome.

MaxDangling off the bottom of my chin. Look at that guy. Look at that little fella. At some point, I think there's something hormonal that changes when you become a father where you scream every time you sneeze.

MerlinSomebody sitting on a duck. I enjoy being a dad. I'm a finger. Why? So, what we're talking about?

MaxOh, right. So, yeah, Rami and Zach and Greg and... Actually, Max is worse than it. And JW made this game called Ridiculous Fishing. So it started with... Vlambeer made this flash game, Ridiculous Fishing.

AlexWhich is a game studio. That's great.

MaxAnd they... People know who Vlambeer is. Yeah. And it was like a browser. I think it was like a browser game. And the premise is you fish. It's a fishing game. like your hook goes down into the ocean, and you catch a bunch of fish, and then you pull them up. But then the twist is you throw them way up into the air, and they fly way up into the air, and you have a machine gun, and you shoot the fish, and you get money for all the ones you shoot. So it's just sort of a dumb, like, funny premise. And then so they got a bunch of friends together, including our friends Zach and Greg and JW, who are all, like, indie developers, and they made this sort of, like, you know, super band of indie developers,

and they adapted Ridiculous Fishing for iOS. It's out now. It's tons of fun. I mean, it's one of the classic iOS games. Like, the art style is unbelievable.

AlexAny top ten list, you'll see it.

MaxCan't recommend it more highly if you haven't played it. But basically, as soon as they started showing it at game shows, you know, bring it to GDC and stuff, some guy saw it and was like, oh, I could make that game. And just made it and put it on, called Ninja Fishing, and just put it on the App Store and beat them to market. And his game was such a turd. Like it sucked. Like the controls felt bad. The art was bad. Like it was just like the shittiest, worst clone. But, you know, he did the thing where you fish the fish and you pull them out of the ocean, you fling them up in the air and you have guns and you shoot them.

And on paper it sounds similar. But, you know, when games execution is everything, right? Like it wasn't balanced. It wasn't like didn't have a good progression. Like it was not fun to play. It didn't feel good. But by the time Ridiculous Fishing came out, like a lot of the air got sucked out of the room by this first one. And it was hard for them to build up a lot of excitement about it. So cloning is a disaster.

MerlinOh, I see. It was sort of like with that one numbers game that was really popular.

MaxWell, that's also one of Greg's games. Greg also did the art for threes.

MerlinWas it 1024 was it called?

Max2048. 2048, okay.

MerlinYeah.

MaxSo they made threes. Oh. What's that?

MerlinRight.

MaxOkay. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

MerlinOkay. Oh, yes.

MaxI love threes. Asher and Greg made threes. I was an early beta tester of 3s before it was 3s when it had a whole different mechanics and I was playing it the whole way and watching the development. I mean, this thing had such an interesting like torture development. I mean, so it was... Them cracking that game format was fascinating to watch. They've since published all the like emails of their process and it's pretty wild to read through. Oh, I saw that. Yeah, and their decision making about all the different little tiny pieces, the faces and everything. Because like it was crazy. Like they didn't know what that game was

until they knew what it was And then all of a sudden it was threes. And you're like, oh, well, obviously threes. Like this was inevitable. But it wasn't inevitable. They had to make it that way. So anyhow, they did that. And then as soon as that came out, some shitty, this ketchup company that just does ripoffs made this thing called 2048. And it was like the jankiest, worst ripoff of threes. You can beat 2048 by just swiping up into the left continuously. And then great. You beat it. Congratulations. Close your eyes. You can like, you can beat it.

Merlinthat's exactly my kid's strategy for threes. Just do that as fast as possible until the game ends.

MaxYou can do that for threes, but not for very long. Not for very long, no, no, no. Yeah, you can get through a few rounds like that. But anyhow, yeah, it was a bummer, and 2048 was free, so it sort of drank their milkshake, you know?

AlexAt WWDC, there were people, I don't want to say there were people with Apple who worked there and who had been brought into the Apple Arcade thing, But they actively were like, no, we are going to work for we had gone to work for big studios because, you know, we've worked on this iOS game forever, but we don't want to release it. And like we don't want to we can't play test it at game shows because people will clone it. So we don't know if it's good or not. But then we also, you know, we don't have any money. So Apple's basically throwing money at things like the the same way they are at TV shows to just and just see what sticks.

MerlinRight. I forgot about that part. They're investing some in these?

AlexYeah, they're just paying developers to make games. And then it ends up being like a Spotify type thing where you or like a YouTube Red where you get more revenue if people play your game more. I don't know. I'm excited.

MaxIt's Netflix for games. And like Netflix has for all of the bad disruption that Netflix is doing. There's good things, too, because I know lots of people. I think we all know lots of people who got some sort of Netflix original. and it's like, well, who else would have taken a gamble on this person, right? So that's the good side of what Apple's doing with this games thing is like, you know, Apple's going to take a bet on all these cool game developers and be like, let's see what happens if we give you like millions of dollars of budget and you make this like awesome game. But then, you know, it's only available for people who are subscribers.

Did you guys subscribe to Apple News?

AlexI did the trial and then quickly canceled it.

MaxOkay.

MerlinYep.

AlexWhy? I hate it.

MerlinI did the same thing and I canceled it immediately.

Speaker AI hate Apple News.

MerlinI hate the people I love like Max and John Dickerson post links to things that tries to open up Apple News, which I've deleted from my devices. I hate Apple News so much.

MaxListen, I –

MerlinIt's like having to walk into a closet to watch TV.

MaxI have a hard time. I have a hard time.

MerlinBut then you're not allowed to court. There's an outlet in there. You can only watch TV in there and then you're not allowed to talk about it after you leave. because somebody else has to go to a different closet. How do you know the news? I use Google News.

MaxWhat? Do you?

MerlinI use Google News.

MaxI use Nuzzle. I use Twitter. Is Google News customizable? Not really. Okay. That's my problem. Apple News is lightly customizable.

MerlinBut your trends, your trends are on point. Aren't they fucking crazy? They're so stupid. What did you send the other day? It was so bad. I mean, really, it's not that much better than Twitter, whatever Twitter Moments is called this week. Is your favorite restaurant open on Independence Day? Asks Newsweek. That was yours. This mouth-watering Texas restaurant has nine different kinds of mac and cheese.

AlexNo. Okay.

MerlinThat's yours. That's from Max's Apple News.

MaxThe most important insulting thing is it goes like, based on your trends, here's a story you would like. And it's like, God, you just fucking insult you spitting in my face.

MerlinTwitter moments is, I've said this every week for how long. It's really, it's just about killing me. I mean, first of all, I mean, number two, the fucking black lady reaction gifs. Where are we going with this? How much longer are we going to continue to make and vend black lady reaction gifs? And you know what I'm talking about, right? This whole genre of like black lady having a snap and reaction to something. I don't think it's all black ladies who are posting those. And I think it's kind of weird. I think it's kind of weird.

AlexOh, no, it is all white suburban moms or just people. It's. Yes.

MerlinIt's gross. But I'm so fucking confused when I'll just see a first name of somebody. And I'm like, what the fuck? It'll say like, you know, shampoo. And I'll be like, what's shampoo? And I'll click on it. And I'll be like, oh, come here to see why shampoo is trending. I thought shampoo was dead. I'm like, what the fuck is shampoo? I keep going. And I guess it's the name of a YouTuber who cheated on his girlfriend. I don't fucking know. You got to scroll and scroll and scroll through the Black Lady Reaction Chips to find out who shampoo is. What the fuck?

AlexWell, there's this thing now of trending spam. So there was this thing.

MerlinOh, like the Harry Styles thing.

AlexYep, yep. And Not My Ariel was a thing.

MerlinBut that was something made up, right?

AlexYeah, well, they were just trying to dunk on people who didn't want Black Ariel.

MaxHow fucking stupid do you have to be? To be honest, I think there's bad people on both sides. I actually think both sides are really annoying. I mean, obviously the people who are like Not My Ariel are actually demons. like I mean these people are too stupid to be alive like if you're mad I mean it's it's insane you're mad about the casting of a children's movie I mean but they're not it's meta mad it's meta mad backlash mad I think I know but then there's also the people who are like but then there's also the people who are like they fucking suit up and there's that they have a little montage

of them like closing the the visor on their helmet and they're like I will defend your honor area And they're like, I'm going to fucking ride into battle.

MerlinYou don't understand mermaid science.

MaxAnd it's like, stop, stop. It's a children's cartoon. This is not the battle. What do you imagine it does for you if you beat all these people in an argument about the race of a mermaid? Like eight hours, eight hours from now, what will be better? And I saw someone posting this morning and they were like, I swear, I swear to God, if they make the prince in the new Little Mermaid white. and so the princess falls in love with a white prince and leaves the ocean for a white prince. I didn't think about that. And they were like, I swear to God, if they do that,

I will burn the theater down. I will burn it down. And I was like, if they don't get a gender fluent

MerlinInstagram makeup influencer, I'm going to be so fucking mad.

MaxAnd I was like, yeah, sure. I was like, okay, I have my own.

MerlinNot my makeup influencer.

MaxAnd I was like, I think it's possible that if you're getting preemptively mad about how they might cast the prince of the live action Little Mermaid that you might burn the theater down. You're already getting blood pressure about it.

There might be some sort of Buddhist, maybe you need to take up meditation or something. This is not a concern in your life. Go volunteer. Go volunteer in a soup kitchen.

Speaker AGod damn.

MerlinEven just do sit-ups or kegels. Just don't post. Just kegel. Oh, this is so funny. We got him this time, you guys. Here's some of the trending. Revolutionary War Airports. Talent prompter. Dr. Stone National Bikini Day. Kevin Spacey. Drop dead gorgeous. That's some of the trending things right now.

AlexHappy 5th of July.

MerlinOh, July 15th.

AlexHere's a video of someone taking ice cream and putting it into their cart and not licking it. Do you guys know about

MaxGamer Bathwater Girl? Oh, no. I don't. So there's this Instagram influencer and she's selling, she's like a gamer. Here, I'm going to send you this video to watch. Could you not? Heads up, Quinn. This might all need to go. Just watch. So it's a tweet. So basically, this girl is having a moment because she's selling her bathwater to her Instagram followers.

AlexOh, hello.

MaxAnd you can buy it. You can buy it for like $30. You can buy her bathwater. But this tweet, I looked at the Gamer Bathwater Girls 4 million follower Instagram, and it's like I've been teleported 80 years into the future and no longer have the slightest grip on the culture.

MerlinNo, I know. Just this alone is killing me.

MaxWatch this with sound. Wait, wait, wait. It really comes alive with sound.

MerlinExtreme noses, pants is on you.

Ooh, you're so boring.

Speaker AOoh, they didn't have the noses. Oh, no, no. This is terrible. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's growing.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

MaxI know it's 4,527,000 views.

AlexOh, my God.

MaxI know I shouldn't get energy about this, but I'm not mad about it. I have no objection. What's the opposite of masturbation? Good hustle if you're selling your bathwater. but like for her i'm not i'm not like i'm not like triggered by this but i'm just i love this

Merlini'm just confused like alex alex you're not getting off easy on this one you love this why how

Alexbecause okay if a young woman can make money do you see the one where she's eating a raw egg i'm watching it yes but that's not sexy that's horrifying she's okay get money i'm sorry oh

Maxyou think this is discourse is this praxis no no i don't she's wearing lingerie and she's like wiggling and eating an egg. Like, there's clearly...

AlexOh, God! Oh, she's spitting the egg out. Okay.

MaxThere's, like... I mean, I'm not being dense, but there's, like, obviously some... Yes.

AlexNo, okay. Yes. I agree. I agree.

MaxSome sex part of this, right? Yes, I agree. Do you think she's empowered, Alex? Like, some percentage of people watching this, it's a sex thing, right?

AlexObviously, she has 4 million Instagram followers. So what's wrong with her making money off of... Nothing. I'm not saying anything... I'm asking Merlin. I'm asking Merlin. Nothing's wrong. The SJW queer is logged on. Merlin, wouldn't you...

MerlinWhere did I say my concern is about the money?

AlexWhat's wrong with her making a bunch of money?

MerlinWhat from what I said makes you think I'm worried about her making money? It has absolutely nothing to do with her making money.

MaxHere's my take. I'm not upset about it. It doesn't bother me. She shouldn't be making money. I frankly respect her hustle. I'm putting my visor down. I respect the hustle. Good for you. but that being said, I'm deeply confused about this. I know. You said it exactly right. This does feel like something for the future.

MerlinI was never meant to understand. I feel so old. I feel so old. This is the only way we can produce and collect the seed. It's just checking your television screen visor.

MaxIt's time for sexy income dance. I'm so confused by it. Is it? Let me ask you this. Is her stick? Is her stick? And the 4.5 million followers. Is it ironic? Is she doing this? Is it a send up of this culture?

AlexOh, no. This is 100% sincere.

MaxIt's sincere. Do you see what I'm saying? Yes. Is this a parody of cam girling? No. And she's. And everyone's enjoying it ironically? No.

Speaker AThis is her special thing.

AlexI would say maybe a million people like us are enjoying this and being like, this is so funny. um like like the uh i follow some instagram models who are like fake ai like not ai um the yeah there's in there she's she's the best one but then one day i realized like oh oh no this this is this is porn okay all right which uh i see why you guys like instagram i'm not sure why

Merlini deleted that um you know what can i make a suggestion can i suggest you ever get i get a

Maxlot of requests on instagram for people because i've i'm in private and don't if you're listening to this, do not follow me. Will you ban them? I'm going to think you're a bad person if you ask to follow me. If you don't know each other, don't ask to follow me. All I did was

Merlinknock on your door at 2 a.m.

MaxI get a lot of requests to follow from these girls and it's like Vanessa 63 Chicago or whatever. And her profile picture is just like some woman in a bikini with just breasts larger than her head. And I'm like, Are you saying she shouldn't make money from that? Oh, my God. And I go, you know, I don't think I know this woman. I don't think I've met any of her. Yeah, I don't think we've met. Yeah.

AlexI was kind of bummed, though. There seemed to be a bunch of, you know, a big influx of porn spam bots trying to follow people. And I didn't get any. None. Not one.

MaxNot one. Maybe they're going. Maybe they know that it's men, right?

AlexThey know that I'm woke enough that it's. No, maybe they're going after men. Oh, actually, that makes a lot of sense. Okay, okay, okay.

Speaker ABorder, border, border.

MerlinDid you see on 9-9 when they got Holt to go on Twitter? Did you ever see that?

AlexVaguely, yes. Oh, God.

MerlinHis username is at 5261796D6E6420.

AlexOh, you – did you know that by heart?

MerlinYeah, yeah, I knew that by heart. There's no way to find things on the internet.

AlexNo, but I was going to say that's impressive.

MerlinYou'll just go – something I'm sorry about everything. I wanted to recommend. I'm staring.

MaxI can't stop looking at this girl eating a ride.

MerlinYou need to really stop looking at it. It all starts. I used to make the Eddie Vedder voice ironically, and now I can't stop. It's a Sam's dot. Right. The first time I ever went, yeah, it was like a joke, and I was making fun of Eddie Vedder. And now it's 25 years later, and I still go, yeah. There goes the yoke. Oh, no, no, no, no.

AlexDo you see the dribble? Yeah, the dribble is like, okay, I see where she's going with this.

MerlinAlex I wanted to recommend I wanted to commend to you to listen to a very interesting any interview with Lizzo is going to be interesting but Terry Gross with Lizzo I thought was very interesting did you hear it yeah oh yeah

Alexit was a rebroadcast I love it when someone owns Terry not owns Terry Gross but well I mean

MerlinTerry was trying but she was oh how does one say in this generation virtually it's such a strong word but she thought she knew the file card to pull on Lizzo that was going to be like, oh, I'm a fellow traveler on this. And Lizzo was like, no, I am cute. Like, no, no. I'm big, but I'm cute. Like, no, no, it's not a statement. I think I'm hot. And that's my body. Oh, yeah, but do you really feel like you're speaking for other women?

Speaker AAnd she's like, oh! The visor comes down.

MerlinAnd she's not being mean, but Terry doesn't let up. Terry thinks that she's going to 1978 her way through this, and it doesn't work.

Alexit was the whole thing and and she's like you know uh some people might say that rap and flute just don't go together yeah that's racist how much rap have you listened to and then she drops like

Speaker Anames of four bands i've never heard of she's like uh that's just racist i love i also just

Maxi love her self-confidence and she feels like chewing she's chewing up the shell she's chewing

Merlinup the shell oh no she feels no need to humble brag she just states the fact she's like look i'm a classically trained musician and i'm really good it's like why my girl flutes are cute she's just like yeah i'm a big girl plays a flute fucking deal with it oh god her songs are so good she's so so good and they're different they're all different on that record they are crazy you You probably haven't heard it, but that's a very good record.

AlexI mean, you probably weren't around for the phone song, but I was there for the phone song. The phone song was my ringtone. I loved the phone song. Yeah. What the hell are these Louboutins for? I didn't know what Louboutins were. Louboutins. I didn't know what a Birkenberg was.

MerlinHow's it going with your influencer, Max? How's she doing?

Speaker AYeah.

MaxI'm Googling her now.

Speaker AOh, no. This is how it starts.

Maxan Instagram model who has almost 4 million followers to her account began allowing her fans to purchase her bath water for $30 a bottle with them selling with them selling out within 3 days she should go on Shark Tank she needs a repacker if you know what I mean a disclaimer for the product on the I don't want to say their name the Instagrammer's online store stated this water is not for drinking and should only be used for sentimental purposes

Speaker Aoh no no oh no

Maxthis is jizz water she then tweeted so my bath water sold out WTF I will be making some more soon but it's been honestly a weird couple of days taking so many baths LMAO LMAO

Alexoh god

MerlinI don't think she yelled all of her A-O

Alexsentimental

Merlinpurposes

MaxBut others praised her ability to sell seemingly anything to her audience. Quote, honestly, we love a capitalist queen that manages to market and sell bath water, one person wrote.

AlexWhy doesn't Alex want her to make money? They ruined it. You ruined it.

MaxThis is actually pretty funny. This is not the first stunt the Instagram star has pulled. In June, this person told her followers that she would make an account on the popular adult website Pornhub when her photo received over 1 million likes. when the image attracted that number she went ahead and created an account but rather than show anything sexual she posted a number of strange non-explicit videos such as pewdiepie goes all the way inside this person a minute-long clip of her eating a picture of swedish youtube star

Speaker Apewdiepie oh i remember that see this oh god this girl she's a situationist she's fucking shit up

Alexshe's great. Yeah, the question wasn't, is she ironic or not?

MaxSo it is, she is doing a kind of performance art.

AlexWell, no, she knows her audience. She knows who she is playing to. The question wasn't like, is she doing a commentary? The question was like her audience. And I think like three million of those people are absolutely 100% sincere, want to come in her bathwater. But there are also people like, say, Max, who suddenly gets like sunk into her Instagram poll and will be like, yeah, I'll put $5 towards her, whatever her porn channel will be. And that's how she gets it.

MerlinWe're going to sound so, Alex is going to sound, I mean, Alex always sounds smart, but we're going to sound so fucking unwoke in like six months.

Speaker AWe're going to be like, I think wheels are a sin against God. Max and I are going to sound so fucking stupid.

Maxnow i'm reading the the i'm reading the know your meme about her oh my god

Speaker Awe're watching it happen in real time it's beautiful

Alexoh my um

Merlinall women's hair should be donated to single men in unmarked eyes

Maxi i'm amazing this is unbelievable i feel like i just turned over a rock and there's like

Alexmillipedes under here i mean she's she's just the next generation of stamp stomping girl like that's that's what it is it's awesome

Merlinso it's a sex thing but it's kind of but it's ironic when you reach a certain age all sex

Alexthings are ironic max you're literally doing it right now you're engaging with her content and eventually she's she's gonna like flip the tables and like run for office or something and

Merlinthen it won't be funny anymore but still oh she could so be like the king of italy or whatever they have there.

AlexMy laugh's worse than normal today. Why don't they

Merlindonate women to single men? This is why murders. So, Blue's Clues.

Speaker AChallenge Blue's Clues. Merlin, what was your challenge for this?

MerlinI, yeah, go ahead. Let's say it. Let's hear it.

Speaker APeanut butter.

Maxso bad that's okay that's okay i didn't even i i i want i was gonna say that i couldn't find it but i didn't even look i just max we have uh max we already i think have something slightly prepared

Merlinfor this eventuality great which is you're gonna have to explain it you're gonna actually i should tell you we have a special guest uh to tell you about this episode of blues clues and that's

Alexgonna be alex cox oh yeah i'm gonna summarize it oh my god she has a patreon and then this

MaxThis YouTuber called Wine uploaded a video titled, I spent $2,500 on this person's Patreon. Every phoneme out of your mouth is viral marketing for her.

AlexYeah, that's how this works. That's how this works. This is what we have to do in late stage capitalism.

MaxFine, I'm closing it. I'm closing it. I'm sorry.

AlexPeople give $5 to listen to three people. If I do it one more time, I'm going to be angry. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. this week's challenge comes from merlin and he requested that we watch season six or season six episode one of blues clues uh people might be familiar what is this merlin what what are you

Merlintalking about oh my god my my kid was little this show came out uh before my kid was um

Alexborn wait hold on this the poop sign what the fuck what are you talking about what are you talking about oh nope nope different okay see the casey sent it to you sorry no i'm sorry mark bramhill if you're listening to this you're very you sent me a very upsetting picture it's a tree it's a i'll send it it looks it's a haunted tree that says don't poop on me and it's very upsetting okay i'm sorry blue's clues is a children's television program that started in 1995 I believe and it involves

a little puppy named Blue and all of her anthropomorphic friends what? Him. No.

MaxNo. Well all dogs are number one all dogs are boys. Oh that's true

Speaker Aall dogs are boys and all cats are girls. But it's also

Maxit's Blue so I just

MerlinI mean a girl named Blue I don't think so. Okay

Alexnot but like not fucking around here they use so few pronouns on that show like a couple of years ago there was this mass reckoning of holy fuck, Blue is a girl? And then we all realized, no, no, no. And her friend Magenta, like Blue was a secret lesbian all along. And it was a big deal. There are lesbian dogs.

MerlinHey, everybody. It's your old pal Merlin. My daughter used to watch a show called Blue's Clues. And I thought it was, as kids' shows go, I thought it was pretty good. The first host was a guy named Steve who has a very interesting bio. I recommend checking out Steve and his music and his backstory. There's a good interview with him on, I believe, Sound of Young America, where he talks about his years on Blue's Clues. And he's a really cool guy. But anyway, the point is that, yeah, as Alex said, it's a show for very little kids. And it's in that – I would put it in that genre, that rat king of kids shows that are about, like, interactivity, usually kind of pre-literal kids where there's a lot of talking to the kid and the kid talks back.

When I say it's like Dora the Explorer, it's so much better than Dora the Explorer. But it is about kids yelling back and pointing things out and finding things.

AlexBut there's a huge difference. So instead of like just silence, eventually an offscreen kid will be like, there it is. So there's not this weird cognitive dissonance.

MerlinJust her and swiper and just staring at the screen. Oh, my God. So anyway, I think it's a really good show and a really cute show. And so it had several seasons with Steve, and then Steve went to college and got replaced by Joe, and it was a really sweet, sad episode. What I'm trying to tell you is that I've watched a lot of really, really shitty kids TV looking at you, Caillou. And this is a really good show, and I really enjoyed it. And then something weird happened. We watched, like, I don't know if we jumped around, but somehow I guess it was in the TiVo days still.

But we got up to the point of this episode that we watched for this challenge, which is, as you say, S6E1, Legend of the Blue Puppy.

AlexOh, my God.

MerlinAnd I'll throw to Alex here. But all I'm going to say is at the beginning of season six, I guess, they decided to change a few things. Oh, my God. And so this episode, the reason I brought it to you folks today is that I still think about – I think about how confused and upset this episode made me. And I wanted you guys to have that.

AlexI feel like you made this challenge for me. Because I was right on the age where I watched the beginning of Blue's Clues. But eventually you're like, this is stupid. I know where the map is. Wrong show. You know what I mean? Yes. But each show has a very nice rhythmic pace. It's got the repetition.

Merlinit's fun the characters are adorable you got the little salt and pepper and the mailbox and it's it's it really is when i say it's cute it's not in a cloying way it's adorable and the way that

Alexblue talks is is really really cute too yeah and the whole premise is like all this problem solving is done by blue's clues which are these cute little paw prints and like you and steve are like little detectives and you figure out the best way to make chicken soup if you're sick or

Merlinlike how to tie a shoe it's adorable but it's like just part of it is just as basic like what do you say like like logic or like putting facts together or something but like yeah you work together and it's got all the good stuff for like a preliterate kid so cute so you want you did

Alexwatch it when you were little uh but like i don't know if i would have watched because i was five when it came out and i feel like that's when you're slowly aging out of it but i had four Or at the time, I had three younger siblings who were super into it. So it's not, like you said, it wasn't like I had to watch Caillou.

MerlinIt's not. But for folks who haven't watched this, it's not like Barney. It's not like Teletubbies. I mean, Teletubbies is kind of cute. But it's not the kind of thing that makes you want to tear your eyes out, like Dora or Barney. It actually is kind of fun and sweet, and the music's nice. And it's a really cute show. And we should mention here that a lot of what's accomplished on the show, Steve or Joe, is live action. But most of what you see is cartoony and then done with what appears to be cutouts. So like blue and salt and pepper and all those kind of look like little cutouts.

AlexThey're – imagine South Park and honestly that's what it is. Yeah, that's exactly it.

MerlinThe salt and pepper look like Terrence and Phillip, yeah.

AlexYeah, they do. Oh, and Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper.

Speaker APepper, pepper.

AlexSorry, the John Mulaney bit won't get out of my head. they have a child in paprika

Merlinthey have little french accents and it's very cute the important thing to know here is that the show is good it's very sweet it's adorable and it's done with 2d i don't know if it's actual cutouts but it's it's it's important to this episode to know that if you've ever seen blue's you you go and you google blue's clothes you see the cute little blue dog with the blue ears and

Alexmost importantly most importantly almost everybody in this world can talk except blue and her other like the puppy friends like they don't talk like they're like repeat the cadence and like melody yeah a person just said like yeah like a blue skidoo we can do it's like

Merlinoh god so the show seemed fine in that format but i guess at some point they decided to make some would you want to tell max about what happens in this episode alex all right so the the episode

Alexfirst of all the episode starts at night which kind of i don't really remember like exactly the

Maxformat is blue's clues different from episode to episode or is it basically the same thing over and

Alexover god it it's the same thing there is a rhythm it's the same thing it's one of those formula kids

Merlinshows that like kids love that kind of like regularity of knowing what comes next and like even dora it's fun to yell swiper no swiping like when you see swiper show up everybody yells swiper no swiping and it's part of the the fun well like the same way i get excited when justin goes because i know what's coming and i do it with him and i'm you know i mean it's anybody likes that regularity and fun you know yep yep so yeah it's the same show basically so it's the same show

Alexbut uh this and it it starts every show typically you'd start and you'd just go into the house and they'd be but this episode starts at night and blue and joe and all of the characters you know and love are sitting and looking at the moon and joe's like oh i've never seen a moon that looks like that before and all of your characters are looking at the moon and a fairy comes down from the moon and i know we've talked about how this is a fantastical show never has there been a

fairy that comes down from the sky it sounds like it's it's talking through a fan and it's like hi I am Luna. Oh, no, I'm sorry. Is it Luna? Her name is not Luna. It's Muna. And both of Maddie and at the same time are like, why isn't it Luna? It's like, hi, I'm Luna.

Oh, she's just very upsetting to me.

MaxIt sounds like a South Park character.

AlexIt does. And she has like the South Park voice. It was, yes, yes. If you're picturing the animation of South Park, and now imagine Mr. Hankey. But like, I don't know how to explain like the feeling that you, I'm trying to think of a show.

It's like if Roderick suddenly went on M'Bim Bam. Like, you know that it's like they're part of the same universe. It's not that weird, but it's like, what's going to start, what is happening right now?

MerlinRight, right.

Speaker AYes, yes, yes, yes.

AlexIt's just like a little uncanny.

MerlinSo it's immediately, there's several things. Should I fast track this? Because I guess we're running a little bit long.

AlexYeah.

MerlinSo basically, so the show, it starts out immediately. The songs are different. Things are different. It's not the usual rhythm. It's weird, right? It's like, okay, something's different. Like, is this a special? Like, it's weird. Because like part of it is when the show comes on, like, and you see blue pops up on the screen. And everything's always done in the same, like, comforting way. So that's not the case. It's nighttime. What's going on? There's a fairy. Okay. So I had to look through my fingers at the screen to watch a lot of this. So I'm probably going to get some of this wrong. but I guess at some point the fairy has come along.

AlexWell, hold on. The fairy first tells a story about how when Blue was born, that she was special, unlike the rest of the puppies, because all the puppies did normal puppy shit, and she sat up in red and liked to go on adventures. And she was born with a key. She was born with a special key. Literally born with a literal key. And they go and find a key.

MerlinShe has a literal key. She needs to find the lock for her key.

AlexYes. And so they do. This is the part that I was like, okay, I remember this. They sing a song. They check. And it's like, is this the key? No. And they find the key in her stuffed animal. And I don't remember her little puppy stuffed toy. And then is it a box under her bed?

MerlinThey try like three different things. There's a whole like. Then at this point, it's a little bit Blue's Clues. Like you go, no, the sofa suddenly has a lock on it. And we don't know why. go unlock the sofa what what a wicker sofa you just understand i know this doesn't sound that crazy but for like you've watched like five seasons of this show and then suddenly the couch has a lock on it and you're like what and like so then it becomes this really weird freudian journey of finding finding the lock that your key fits and oh this one's too narrow i would call it

Alexkofka-esque it was yeah it was like i was watching blue slowly turn into a cockroach it was very

Speaker Astrange but it just keeps going it keeps going like this and you're like when is it gonna go

Alexback to the regular show but but then i but at that point i thought okay i'm just misremembering the show like i'm misremembering how like cute and fun it was right but then they find the box under blue's bed and the anthropomorphic key or not anthropomorph yes yes the key talks and things whatever it's a it's a talking it's a talking key yeah and uh the key goes in the lock and ba-bam they they all jump into this magical box and i will say now we're in blue's room

blue's room later referred to yes and normally this isn't huge because they jump into like paintings and shit all the time but but this time the animation's gone they're all fucking puppets and they're in everyone's a puppet they're all puppets including blue and some and there

Merlinthere are so many so many puppets you've never seen before there's so many talking boxes there's everything and the fact that they're all puppets is so fucking disorienting there's this really sweet i have to say this is this part always makes me cry this is very sweet moment when blue first talks oh because by the way did we mention blue can now talk but this is this is no no but first

Alexbut first okay here's the thing though moona moona goes around everybody else can talk in this universe moona goes around saying this is your dress-up place this is this is like your new dinosaur friend and then she's like but blue your greatest gift of all right and then blue go she goes blue you can talk and blue is like i i can talk and she's speaking like complete normal english there's no proper she starts talking to you and i this is when i texted you because i i

don't know i lost my shit i don't know why i lost my shit you know like that scene in the movie

Merlintheater when when pikachu like says the wrong it's like it's it's that it's that level of what are you what are you doing it was so it would be like if like darth vader suddenly turned into a

Speaker Aficus you'd just be like what the way how does that have anything to do with anything that's

Merlinbut it's so cute because blue goes hey you and it's really sweet because she's talking to the little kids and it's so sweet that's the single moment in the pretty much this whole thing where i was like oh my god that's so sweet and that makes me want to cry because wouldn't it be great to be able to suddenly talk flawlessly it's a fantasy world but no no no no no no that moment is is steamrolled just you're not even over the fact that blue has something called blue's room that's part of her special gift and found the literal key she was born with not the key that fits in the lock, but the lock that fits with the key

and now that's Blue's room and Blue can talk and she's a fucking puppet. Because guess what? You don't really have too much time to sit with that because we have so many new characters to introduce.

MaxRoar! Roar! Roar! Is this a big shake-up of the show? Did this stuff last? Is it like, this is the show now? It's basically a reboot. It doesn't say at the beginning, warn your kids. But then they kept all this stuff? So Blue talks after this episode? Oh yeah, I think so.

AlexYeah, I went and was like, okay, so is this like a thing? And yeah, so it was kind of like now Blue's room is a part of the actual show. And then it kind of got a spinoff. But it's during a regular episode. So you go around meeting these new puppet characters who vary in obnoxiousness. Why does a dog have a room? Okay. A special gift. Moving on. It was a special gift. She was given at birth with her key.

MerlinYeah, the moon.

AlexThe moon. The moon gave it to her. so we are introduced to

MerlinI got a list here on Wikia people have a special room in their house for their dogs

Alexokay

Merlinwell I know a lot of people have those for their cats you meet Key you meet Boogie Woogie, Doodle Board Rorosaurus, Dress Up Chest, Silly Seat Frederica, Handy Dandy Journal yeah

Speaker Ayou got doodle doodle doodle doodle that classic character

Maxof Gamer Bathwater

Merlinyou're still looking at that anyway I'm sorry this is not good visually but oh fuck me up but it was also just so ham fisted because once you've gotten over like you're not even over that you're still like what the fuck Blue's a talking puppet now what is happening with this show and then they're just bringing items up that are puppets who can talk and like I'm gonna be the case

Speaker Afor your pencils I'm the cord for your lamp I'm cordy like suddenly I'm a dresser I'm the lightning eighth inch cable audio adapter that comes with a new eye ball. I'm ceiling Eve. I'm the ceiling that will protect you. I'm window paint. Ouch.

Why are you talking? Why are you a puppet? Why are you talking? Like the other show I ate.

AlexBut it's the thing. For some reason I've accepted that Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper can talk and reproduce. Oh, yes, absolutely. I have accepted that Tickory is a clock that's alive. I have accepted all of this.

Speaker AIt's all part of that

Alexfictive world yes and my my like i don't know like can't my head canon when i was little was like okay blue can't talk because she's like a real puppy and like this the rest of the world is like all these crazy talking inanimate objects it's like beauty and the beast or something and then you go into but then there's a cat that late at max would love this cat uh later on in the show there's a uh cat introduced named periwinkle but he can talk he does magic and is great at it and i'm like okay whatever he does magic what kind of tricks does the cat do uh

mostly wand and top hat tricks you know and top hat like like the little old-fashioned exactly uh he's a classically trained magician and so like a guy hollingworth act classic guy but then you find out any billiard ball manipulation oh god okay but then once you're in Blue's room, you learn that she has been given she has all this time been a special puppy who could talk but was like trapped in this dystopian world where she had to be

like multiple times throughout the show you have to interpret what she's saying and you're trying so hard. That's why she has to leave clues because she can't talk.

MerlinThat's the premise of the show is her paw print is like look over here.

AlexYeah, and so now you go into this room and i was like okay this is this is like funny and weird but then at at the end it's like okay mooney's like okay blue you gotta go leave you gotta go out of your room and i'm like wait they're making her mute again they're taking this magical place away from her where she can talk to you and then oh yeah yeah it only works in blue's room it only works in blue's room and at the very end blue goes okay i'll see i'll she goes we'll talk soon and you know what you're my best friend

like this is it's like we know this is the only time she's been able to verbalize it over years and years and years and it just yeah just for a second though come on blue we gotta go we gotta get out of your room we gotta go and she's like but say goodbye to the nice people and then it goes back to normal and you um and and so at this point i did not know that this was like a spinoff of the show i just thought this was like occasionally they did have special episodes

so i just thought this was a one-off and so they take out blue's ability to talk and you're the one who breaks it to joe joe's like huh where'd you go what happened and he's like blue can talk and But then he's like, wow, that's awesome. See you next time. And it just fucked me up.

MerlinWow. Cool special gift.

Speaker AOh, cool. All right. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. I'm you again. It was so upsetting. I am 28 years old.

MerlinOh, I'm so glad. I'm so glad you had the context for appreciating why this was so upsetting to me.

AlexI know that most people are going to think this is a terrible episode with a terrible challenge. this and and the rest of the people who are like my age or younger are freaking the fuck out because it was so like this she's been living in this dystopian hellscape where all of her utensils and objects can talk but she can't talk to you her best friend literally there's literally a

Maxdrawer that can tell me she sold her voice to live on the land with steve

Thank you.

140. Sentimental Purpose

Show notes

Transcript

140. Sentimental Purpose

Show notes

Transcript

0:00

0:21

0:21

0:25

0:26

0:29

0:33

0:49

1:04

1:15

1:41

1:54

2:03

2:14

2:15

2:29

2:31

2:39

2:42

3:03

3:05

3:10

3:42

3:46

3:47

3:57

4:03

4:06

4:07

4:11

4:16

4:17

4:18

4:22

4:26

4:27

4:34

4:43

4:45

4:48

4:51

4:59

5:02

5:05

5:06

5:24

5:25

5:31

5:32

5:35

5:38

5:40

5:47

5:48

6:03

6:33

6:42

6:44

7:10

7:25

7:30

7:37

7:47

7:52

7:59

8:06

8:10

8:15

8:17

8:25

8:27

8:29

8:30

8:41

8:41

9:00

9:05