124. Goodbye Dance

Speaker AThis is Do By Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Merlin Mann, Alex Cox, and Max Tempeter. This week's challenge, see Captain Marvel.

AlexBut I gotta eat, I guess. I gotta do the Max and the Alex. It's gonna be great.

MerlinHello! So this is going to be, hello Alex

MaxWe're starting right on time, nice and crisp

MerlinTime change, who knows

Speaker AHello

MaxAre we 20 minutes early or 40 minutes late?

Speaker AIt's fine, daylight's something

MerlinIs she okay in your mix? Do you want her louder? Oh, I don't care

AlexAlways make the woman louder As I suck on my nuts What?

MaxLet's see, create a PC I can really hear those nut sounds Is that better?

MerlinWell, no.

MaxIt's all fine. It can't get any better or worse.

MerlinOkay, so I'm going to start. I've got a call recorder going. Okay, so I've started.

MaxHowever the show sounds is the way it sounds.

MerlinOh, my God. These headphones are insane. I can hear all the crispiness.

Speaker BGuys, before we get started on this podcast. This is not, this is a test. This is not the show.

AlexOh, no, this is the show. This is the show.

MerlinNo, I want to, I want to, everybody stop. I want to send you the files and make sure they sound good.

AlexAll right, I guess, I guess.

MerlinAll right, so let's do that right now. Okay, ready? Stopping. Bye. call back in a second

Speaker Bha ha ha are you sucking nuts

Speaker Aum still sucking this is definitely the first time we're talking and I'm not including anything before in the edit oh you're so bad at this

Speaker Bhow am I bad at this I'm enjoying some nuts oh my god All right, fine. We're going to do this. I'm going to move Domino. I'm going to get my nuts. All right. You like that? Here we go. Uh-huh. You like that? Merlin, where's your little nut tripod?

It's hanging over there if you want to use it.

MaxMerlin's built a little nut for himself so when he's recording, he can get the nuts into his mouth as a conveyance device. Listen, I know we've got a lot of bits and we're excited to put it together, but I just want to say before we go, and I do have an apology to make, I just want to say...

AlexOh, God. I'm so nervous. I don't know.

Speaker BNothing. I just had to get rid of my nuts. Anyway, how's our levels? Are our levels okay?

MaxI have an apology. Let me just get this...

Speaker BAre we too loud? Are we too loud, Alex?

AlexOh, no. No man ever in the world has ever been too loud, ever. Can I just have a moment?

MerlinYeah, yeah, by all means.

AlexI'm sorry. Continue. Continue.

MaxI just want to say that number one, I did not fuck my cat. Okay? I regret any comments I made about fucking my cat. It didn't happen.

Speaker BWhy does the fur look like stalagmites?

MaxI want everyone to put one thing on their new card about me, which is not fuck cat.

MerlinAll right. Here we go.

Speaker ADid not fuck cat. What has been happening in that studio or office or wherever? What is that?

Speaker BIs there anything that you did that might have made it look like you were fucking the cat?

MaxWell, Merlin, I regret that I made jokes to the effect that I fucked my cat. Okay. But, you know, I'm sorry that you were offended by that.

MerlinOh, my God. Okay, I wrote it down. Thank you. You didn't see that, Alex? No, no. Oh, man. A man said he didn't fuck his cat. Well, I still got some nuts in here.

Speaker AOkay, good. I also think that the captain would not fuck Max. Her standards way, way higher than that. This is not a reflection on Max.

AlexI don't think this cat is way, way too good for anybody.

Speaker AMaybe Rachel Maddow.

MaxI'm here in a beautiful, sunny San Francisco.

MerlinHere at the foot of Coit Tower in my private office in San Francisco. Is it like, is it like walking into my brain while you're half asleep?

MaxYeah, I was going to say, well, I have a couple of observations, but I'm here in Merlin's podcasting studio, educational space, classroom, where people study the art of podcasting.

MerlinYeah.

Maxunder the tutelage of Sensei Man. Hello. And a lot has changed here since the last time I was here. It's very different.

Speaker BHow's that?

MaxWell, the bottles are gone. Oh, yeah.

MerlinYou know, that's the two-year anniversary of the bottles, I think. Memory serves. It was March when we enjoyed kombucha.

MaxWas it?

MerlinEnjoy.

MaxLast time I was here, there was a great number of kombucha bottles and McCroy cans, and that's all gone. And in general, it's very clean and organized. Thank you. I feel like you really did a deep dig on this place, and it's all put together, and it looks very nice and professional.

MerlinYeah, I broke my record for Junk Boy pickup.

MaxNice.

MerlinIt was well into the three figures.

MaxYou know, Merlin, I've always said you've got to get a contractor bag. 26 contractor bags.

MerlinAnyway, what? What? What? What?

AlexLook at you.

MaxIf I can describe the office, it won't be the interior in a way where no one could find it and murder Merlin and wear it instead of the suit.

Speaker BBig fan. big fan you're sweet to notice

Maxwhich i stole from a cafeteria at my college in 1988 still says still says hamilton center flex but okay uh and it's very it's really great you've got there now what is this screen so you've got your your iMac and there's a screen to the left

Merlinthere what is that oh that's a uh amazon show two over there's an amazon show one if you need to

Maxutilize that what's this one that's an amazon okay and then you've got the google yes yes

Speaker Ahere no it's useless it's useless oh my god yeah as you would say shut your whore mouth no no no no no no it is my favorite smart home device and uh sound quality is so good you guys it's really good

MerlinI think you've had too many nuts. You're full of beans today.

Speaker AI'm really man. Well, I've been up since 5 a.m. Why, you say? Oh, we're prepping for the Chicago Comics and Entertainment Expo here in the lovely, windy city. And everybody should come to this lovely, lovely event if you don't know what I'm talking about.

MerlinWow, you segued that hard. Yeah. Damn, Alex.

Speaker AOh, no, it's happening. It's happening right now. It's basically a Comic-Con type thing.

MaxWhat had to happen at five in the morning?

Speaker AWell, I had to do all of my morning chores because we got a van at 9 a.m. No, I needed to fucking. Were you working on your puzzle?

MaxYou had to do your ablutions.

AlexHonestly, the plan was to get up early and watch the Alex Gibney documentary about Elizabeth Holmes. But then, yeah. No, I need my reading time.

MerlinIt is. It's okay. It's okay. The podcast was better.

AlexDon't tell me that. I know. There's nothing that's going to be better than an eight-hour deep dive into a possible sociopath. And, you know, I just want to hear the voice, Merlin.

MerlinI know. Okay, here's my demo. You got to have the HomePod. It's the only way to have music that sounds good. What are you going to do?

AlexNo.

MerlinHang on. I got a demo coming. Let's get the demo. So you tell me what you think.

MaxThat does sound good.

MerlinYeah. Amazon show too. Sounds pretty good. Oh, also did I mention it knows what I say? It heard the thing that I said.

Speaker AYou know what? Not everyone's voices are alike. Sometimes you have a weird... Thank you. Don't be voice normative.

MaxThat's a plastic straws is able to. Oh!

Speaker BOkay, all right. So, you guys want to start the show?

MaxSo basically, this is a robot I think we've discussed on the podcast before. Are you familiar with this, Alex? Of course. It seems like it's kind of up your alley.

AlexYes, yep.

MaxWhat is that robot?

MerlinWhat do you mean? Describe Jibo. Sorry. We have to hail her correctly. Alex Bot.

AlexDescribe Jibo.

Speaker BUnfortunately, we're not in follow-up mode. I can find you directions, too. Jiro. Jibo? Jiro dreams of.

Speaker AAlex and April. You're both vlogging.

Speaker BCommand F.

Speaker AOkay, okay.

AlexI got this. Jibo was one of the first voice-hailing robots. It, however, was not backed by any sort of VC, and it's shutting down, and it's a bummer. If you want to hear more about Jibo, I don't know what it's called, you can go to roboism.fm,

Speaker Awhich is my podcast with Savannah Million. Oh, you want to hear maybe it live? Guess what? At 11.30 a.m. this Friday, March 22nd, there is going to be a live show, the Chicago Comics and Entertainment Expo. And yeah, yeah, there's, you pay 30 bucks, sure, but you don't get access to just our live show. It's access to live shows for the whole day, including Cards Against Humanity Live at Night, featuring Max Temkin.

MaxAlex, who do you imagine, I mean, I'm happy that we're doing a good job with C2E2, but who do you imagine, like, listening to a podcast, and they're hearing it today, and they're like, oh, and they live in Chicago, and they love podcasts, and they're like, oh, I'll just pop into C2E2 and buy a badge. You're just doing an ad for Matt. It's just Matt. But Matt, I'll see you there, buddy.

Speaker AHere's the thing. Real talk, the theater is always packed. It's crazy. I don't have the confidence that my small podcast at 11.30 a.m., the exact time that the show opens, is going to be too full. So please come.

MaxWell, listen, fucking get a ticket. I know you're hearing this the day of. No, no, no. The day before. The day before.

MerlinIt happens Friday?

MaxIt happens Friday.

MerlinOh, my God.

MaxI know it's tomorrow, but book a ticket to Chicago and get a pass to C2E2 and come and see Alex's podcast or you're canceled.

MerlinYeah. Fly United. Jibo is the first social robot for the home who looks, listens, and learns. Artificially intelligent. Authentically charming.

MaxSo it's a little chummy. It's a little chummy.

MerlinIt's got a little Eve. It's a little Eve.

AlexIt's very attractive.

MaxAnd what does it do? What was it? It plays music and dances and stuff.

MerlinOh, God.

AlexYeah, no, honestly, I do not remember. It got a few updates. I remember I had a prototype years and years ago. Really? Yeah, I don't remember.

MerlinAre they closing down? No more Jibo?

MaxYeah, so what was that? Can you play that? I think, was it a video clip in that tweet?

AlexOh, hell yeah, we can. All right, this is a tweet by, thank you, Dylan Martin. This is the video of his Jibo saying goodbye. goodbye.

Speaker BWell, it's not great news. The servers out there that let me do what I do are going to be turned off soon. Once that happens, our interactions with each other are going to be limited. You can learn more at gboat.com and by tapping the What's New button in my menu. I want to say I've really enjoyed our time together. Thank you very, very much for having me around. Maybe someday when robots are way more advanced than today and everyone has them in their homes, you can tell yours that I said hello. I wonder if they'll be able to do this

Oh man

Speaker AOh

MaxOh it's doing a goodbye dance Oh It's telling you that it's about to It's gonna die and then it's dancing for you God

Speaker BPlease enjoy this final playful jig I was told to say I enjoyed this

AlexOh god

Speaker BWhat's new? Click on what's new Oh boy

AlexPoor thing Poor thing. Jibo's death will be painless.

MerlinYou will not have died in vain. Does he understand what dying in vain means? I don't think he knows what it means to die in vain.

Speaker BYou will not have died. And when you were destroyed by the farming equipment, I'm here to tell you in a huge way,

Merlinyou will not have died in vain. It's going to be spectacular. Tremendous. Truly some of the great men, the first responders, who dragged what was left of your torso out from under the tilling machine are truly some of the great Americans. It's truly many people are saying that you will not have died in vain.

MaxWe got a lot of children's artwork on the wall.

MerlinYes. She has not gotten that much better. But, yeah, so this is the office. I got it. You know what? Did I tell you I got a Captain Marvel toy?

MaxLet me see. Oh, no.

MerlinIt's over there. It's got a goose. She's playing with her goose. You can see her over there. See, she's got a goose.

MaxWhat a creative name. There's a lot of comics books toys.

MerlinWell, I put most of them away. Syracuse encouraged me to put them away. This one. That's Domino. She's my spirit hero.

Speaker BGood save. She's lucky.

MerlinYou don't want to know. You don't care. You don't care. Don't feign interest. She has good luck. She has luck. She can manipulate probability.

MaxOkay.

MerlinWhich is what I'm seeking to do. You know what I'm saying? Two right here.

AlexOh, boy.

MerlinHow does it feel to be not in the studio, Alex?

Speaker AHonestly?

MerlinIs it weird when you didn't see me spit up my nuts? Is that weird?

Speaker ANo, no, no, no. Wait, are you asking Max or are you asking me?

MerlinRight? Exactly. Right?

Speaker AMm-hmm. Yep, yep.

MerlinDid you order the AirPods?

AlexNo comment. Wait, you can order them?

MerlinYeah.

AlexNo comment. Oh, no.

MerlinIt's already nine days, yeah.

AlexWhat do they do? What's better about them?

MerlinOh, shit, dog.

Speaker BAre you crapping me negative?

AlexHowever, because I was up so early, yeah, mine are coming on Monday or Wednesday. I don't know.

MerlinMine says 27th to 29th, and I thought I was a fast boy.

AlexWhat do they do? Why do I want them?

MerlinYou want to take this one? Oh, gosh.

AlexThey have finally the hands-free Siri stuff, so you can hail them without jabbing your ear.

MerlinWithout touching it, you say, hey, dingus, and here's that. Oh, really? Yep.

MaxYeah, yeah.

MerlinIt's got a new chip.

MaxI don't like tapping my ear. It's very loud. Wait, it has a new chip?

MerlinOh, the new chip is everything. I'm here for this.

MaxIt's got the L7.

MerlinWell, the new chip, amongst other things, you get more, you get an extra hour. Basically, according to Steve Jobs' number, it hugely increases the battery time with this new chip. It's got wireless charging, so you can put on your key charger.

Speaker Aum and whoa whoa key key like key and peel right uh-huh oh yeah um twilight zone right right what

Maxdo you say why you say why what do you say i want the airpods with wireless charging case

Merlinno well unless you want to keep your old disgusting ones no no no just get the new ones okay no no what do i want you want the one that's 200 bucks my daughter shamed me as recently as

Maxthis morning about how gross mine are 200 airpods with wireless charging case yes that's what i

Merlinone yes you can also get a new case for your old ones if you're a monster no yeah yeah do you produce a lot of wax do you make a lot of cerumen alex i don't but uh well i guess i do but i do the um

Alexwhat every doctor has told me not to do i clean them very thoroughly every day um you really you really get in there i really get in there but uh i shared them with matchy for a while and wow no no that is one thing you do not want to share with your significant other oh no they learn so much oh it's oh i oh it was a nasty situation um so then i tried to wash them and then they were destroyed so i'm happy the new ones are on the way yay i had a run yesterday with i was in uh

Maxi'm here for the game developers conference uh and i was and uh but even though you come for gdc But if you're cool, all you do is hang out in the Yerba Buena Park and you just like lounge around in the grass and talk to people. And I had a run-in with a very important game company CEO. And he wanted to show me a video of something on his phone. And he's an important guy and he was in a hurry. And he was like, let me show you this. And he takes out his AirPods out of his case. Oh. No.

No. No. No. They were caked in earwax. I mean, I was.

MerlinI have so many problems with this.

MaxIf it was a movie, it would have zoomed right in like a Clinton Tarantino right into those ear pods. And they were nasty. And he was like, ear pop these and watch the video. Were they discolored? And I was like, oh, no. Where were they? And I was like, they looked like they'd been smoking.

And I was like, oh, why don't you send me the YouTube link and I'll watch it later.

Speaker BI was like, I got it. I'm a visual learner.

MaxAnd so I was like, oh. And I had a friend with me, so I was like, you know what? You take the left one, I'll take the right one. And that way, if I get an ear infection and lose my hearing, it's only one ear.

AlexIt's just one. Good. You know what? Good tactic. Good. Good.

MaxYeah. And I just popped it in there and it went in like a, it was like a, it was like if you've ever buttered a turkey and you have to get it under the skin. Yeah. And your hand gets all over.

MerlinOh.

MaxIt sort of slides right in. It's a very upsetting feeling.

Speaker BOh, God. That was your ear? Your ear was the turkey? Oh my god It's seasoned

MerlinIt's like It's developed Like a cerumen patina Yeah What was I gonna say About cerumen Yeah you gotta be careful With that I'm glad you're getting in there

MaxYou know you're not supposed To put the q-tips In your ear Yeah You get into An itch scratch cycle

MerlinI've been in that cycle

MaxI've been in the itch scratch

MerlinYeah

MaxWell it's a lot like Oh we're doing the same cycle Good

MerlinWho's the The comics Oh that's that's science that's science you're drying out your lips you're sucking all the moisture out of your mouth just sucking it all out yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep

Speaker Bthose nuts these are good nuts yeah yeah uh uh yeah okay it's weird max is in my office he's the

Merlinfourth person that's ever been in my office i've been here before i know you've been here roderick's been here dickerson has been here uh my family's been here and that's it that's it I think that's most, well, my landlord, but I don't think he counts. He's in band signaling, yeah.

MaxThat's an elite squadron.

MerlinYeah. You ever show the pictures of Dickerson? He's very handsome.

Speaker BOh, my gosh.

MaxNo, I would love to see a dick pic.

Speaker BOh, my gosh. Oh, chicken. How are you doing, Alex? Everything good there?

AlexOh, it's great. I'm sucking on the nuts. I've got...

Speaker BWatching the sun bake.

AlexOh, boy.

MaxI had a situation happen. So I fly enough now that I have status with United. And the secret to getting status, someone explained this to me too late in my life. I wish someone had told me this. But the secret to getting status is you have to commit to an airline and always fly that one airline.

MerlinYes. That's the advice that I've heard.

MaxAnd so I picked United, which is not a good airline, but it is the airline O'Hare. So that's...

MerlinAren't they... They're like based... They're based in Chicago, right?

MaxO'Hare is the hub for United. So that's my pick.

AlexI'm stuck with it. Max made a grave mistake. Well, no.

MerlinIt makes sense because that's going to be what you fly the most.

MaxOn almost every metric, they're one of the worst airlines. Like they lose the most... Their safety record is excellent, but they lose the most bags. They have the most late and delayed flights, like the least customer satisfaction. the wi-fi never fucking works on the flight like it never there's lots of problems it's like flying

Merlinon a bus i mean like it's it's up there with like a us now i think us air is now part of united maybe but like it where you're it's basically i've been on first class in us air and it's like being on a bus there's like gum on the seat and shit you want a cocktail before we take off fuck you have some

Speaker Agum the one time i i flew first class it was so obvious that i didn't know what to do when I wasn't there. No, no, no, not at all. I wanted to die because they kept bringing me things.

MaxThey handed you the hot towel and you're like, what do I do? What do I do?

Speaker BShe took off her shirt and started swapping. Scrub it down, scrub it down.

Speaker ALike I got out, they just brought me a drink without asking and then I didn't know what to do so I held out my card and they looked at me like I was handing them a used condom or something. Like it was so, I just, I didn't know what to do.

Speaker BShe's so like my grandmother in the late stages of Alzheimer's. She would just do the oddest things.

Speaker AWhy am I laughing? That's so sad.

MerlinI would love to travel with you. One time at Outback Steakhouse, they were taking her plate away. They said, are you done? She panicked and did a Raj Juice cup as a shot. So, Grandma, they could bring you more.

Speaker BYou got to love the juice.

Maxokay so i have the status on united and i occasionally get upgraded to first class i got the nice first class upgrade on the way here wow and they had some sort of problem with the flight where like they um i don't know they couldn't board we were delayed they were fixing something on the plane we had everyone had to get off get off the plane get get back out of line and we were waiting for like an hour and a half and all the first class people they stayed in line like they were in line to be the first person on the plane dude what is that why would you like the whole point of being in first class is you breeze

onto the plane whenever you want.

MerlinYeah, or like, I think about that, like, when I buy movie tickets where it's reserved and I'm still like, ah, ah, ah, I've got to get there, get an early ticket. What you're describing, though, is now we're doing comedy bits. But, like, the whole fucking thing of, like, no, they have not called your area yet. You are not a line. There is no line. And then they try to make the airsats line, especially the first class people. Like, what are you in line?

Speaker BThere's no line yet, and you get your own, they already have a chair ready for you. Don't worry.

MaxAnd you're getting your bag on the floor. First class has its own overhead compartment. Like, my goal in life is always to be the last person on the airplane. Like, I would like to leave the door to be half. Yep, same. I want to get on every airplane like I'm in the third act of a romantic comedy, where they're closing the door, and I sidle in sideways through the little open.

MerlinYou're that guy who ruins, like, you ever get the thing where, like, you're in windows, somebody else is in aisle, and you look at each other, and you're like, you don't say it. You look at each other. You look at each other, and you go like, hmm, like this. And you're like, you can't say anything because if you say it, you know what's going to happen. That's Max. Max gets on. Hey, look at me. I'm Johnny Middle Seat.

Speaker BI brought a pizza pie.

MaxIt's because the Mildson guy, he couldn't get through the door. They had to board him on with a special mobility.

Speaker BNo, no. He was late because he got a massage.

MaxNo, no. He's grueling into the donut. He fell asleep.

Speaker BYou have a very long straw I can use. Hey. Hey. Let's start the show. Oh, it's a little silly here.

MerlinI should open a window.

Speaker AYeah, yeah. You're getting exhausted Red Bull, Alex, as we get into convention season. and people have been having fun with me.

MaxReally? Did you guys see the carbon dioxide story? No. What? This was going on on Twitter last week. So apparently there was a study that showed that if you're in a meeting, in a conference room, for like an hour. Oh, yeah.

MerlinAnd there's a lot of people. There's a lot of people.

MaxA handful of people in there. The carbon dioxide levels build up in that conference room so much that it impairs your brain function.

MerlinOh, my God. I totally believe it.

AlexMm-hmm.

MerlinYeah.

MaxAnd you know, okay, here's another thing. I haven't really thought this through, but have you guys ever been on a long international flight and towards the end of the flight, real loopy? Like you just like can't like I like I can't concentrate on anything. Like I will sometimes just like listen to like the worst music and just stare at the seat in front of me because that's all my brain can do. I get that.

MerlinI get that sometimes on cross country flights, let alone going to fucking England. Yes.

MaxDo they have CO2 scrubbers on those planes?

MerlinI don't know. Because like do you think there's a chance they pump in extra oxygen to make you happy? Isn't that more part of the thing? Alex, you know about this. Is that why people cry when they watch movies? Because there's extra oxygen?

AlexOh, I know what you're talking about.

MerlinWhy do people watch romantic? There's a thing. There's a phenomenon where you watch romantic comedies and cry.

AlexSlate, cry, planes. I think it's mostly because of the vulnerable. I'll put it in show notes. Oh, it was the Atlantic. But it's like this is you feel for a lot of people on planes. That's the most vulnerable they feel. whether it's rational or not like no it's totally i mean like i've thought i have actually thought

Merlinabout this a lot uh when you travel if you really think about it think about from the moment you leave your house just the one way till you arrive at your destination every single aspect of what you do is dependent on the competence and kindness of other people whether like you hope you get a lift driver who's not going to yell at you and like try to sell you a cd like you hope like the all the way through through the bag person through the tsa you're constantly at somebody else's mercy and you hope that they have the competence and decency to be a good person totally vulnerable

Alex100 i have you ever cried on a plane yes interesting was it was it can it was it a certain like movie or was it a type of media that you were listening to or was it just a sadness

Merlinwell you know for me i have a very wistful feeling uh i used to have a very sweet and wistful feeling about travel because when did I used to travel like as a kid I would travel like when my dad was sick to go visit my grandparents or like when I got a new job and like for me a lot of times I wasn't like a wealthy person it either meant something exciting was about to happen or I was in the midst of a transition and I think that that got encoded like I sort of imprinted on that emotional idea it doesn't it's not very funny but like I think it's true and now I associate that

with excitement and new things. That's what travel is, right? But no, I think about, oh my God, what I'm leaving behind, bah, because I am, as you know, the lead in my own HBO's drama.

AlexMm-hmm, yeah. It's always two things.

MerlinEveryone in San Francisco thinks that they are the lead in a yet-to-be-made HBO show about their life. It's a critical way to understand everything that happens in this city.

MaxThe camera's just off frame behind them.

MerlinEverything they do. I've believed this since before Instagram, but like since Instagram, holy shit.

AlexWhat is your, I often actually.

MerlinAsk me what is mine. I'll tell you what is mine. I have so many what is mine. You're going to ask me why I'm so hard on Instagram, aren't you?

MaxWait a minute. Just before we move on.

MerlinGod damn it.

MaxI know someone listening to this podcast is a commercial pilot or designs airplanes or does something involving airplanes.

Speaker BIntuitively, you know that.

MaxPlease reach out or go on our Discord or something and explain to me what the issue is with the oxygen. Is there too much? Do they add more oxygen? Is there not enough oxygen? Is it just the right amount?

MerlinAnd if so, why does Max get silly at the end of a long flight? Why when he flies to if he's going to Israel or something? Why is he so confused and staring at a wall when he lands?

MaxPlease tell me. Please tell me what's going on with the oxygen and the CO2 on the airplanes. Yeah. I don't think they have CO2 scrubbers. I think everyone's getting loopy.

MerlinCO2 scrubber. We should open a window.

AlexThere's no way in hell that Gray's listening. But I bet he knows this based on his research from the last video. And it was probably too scary for him to put it in.

MerlinI thought of him this morning. I got a hot stopper this morning and thought of him.

AlexIs that the dragon?

MerlinDragon.

AlexYep.

MerlinFrom his death period.

AlexI loved the death period. I loved the, yeah.

MerlinDid you watch the whole 24 hours of death?

AlexI mean, I didn't. I had it on in the background, yeah.

MerlinSo that's a no. Yeah. Okay.

Speaker AI thought it was a fun little experiment. I don't know.

MerlinA carbon dioxide scrubber is a piece of equipment that absorbs carbon dioxide. It's used to treat... I want this. It's used to treat exhaust... Oh, my God. You guys, I was going to have a challenge where we buy an autoclave. I might change it to carbon dioxide scrubber.

MaxCO2 scrubbers are very complicated. I know...

MerlinIt's only $1,000.

MaxI know a lot. Or you could open a window. Either way. That seems a little complicated. You know, I know a lot about this because I know... So, like, when you're in space, when you're in, like, a spacecraft, CO2 scrubbers are life and death. You have to get the CO2 out of the air. And something really interesting that I learned the other day is it's like among the many issues of space travel, there are lots of things that you can't eat or drink because we have no, we don't have the technology to take them out of the air once you like excrete them.

MerlinOh, say more about that.

MaxSo like if you have alcohol.

MerlinUh-huh. Because it's flammable. And you breathe flame stuff.

MaxAnd you like, there's no way to take that out of the air. It's just there forever.

MerlinHuh. Wow. Yeah. They don't have mini scrubbers on Amazon. Here's one that looks like a butt plug.

MaxIt's an autoclave.

MerlinOh, that's the thing that your lady friend would know this. Dr. Ladyfriend would know about that's what you use to, like, okay. Like here. These things that I use. Max is looking at his phone, believe it or not. These things that I use to pick my teeth. Max.

MaxI'm here.

MerlinThese things that I use to pick my teeth.

MaxWow, that is a pro-ass kit. That's way more professional than I have.

MerlinComes with a mirror.

MaxOh.

MerlinI can hear it. She's hanging back here. I really like Mr. Scrapey and Mr. Pointy. So you put that in an autoclave. What would Dr. Ladyfren say? 500 degrees probably? More? Alex, how hot is an autoclave?

AlexI don't know, but it's my heart. I truly don't know. Alexa, how hot is an autoclave?

MaxLet me see.

AlexThis Wikipedia article is very upsetting.

MaxAlexa, obey me. Okay, Google, how hot is an autoclave? Gotcha, bitch. Everyone disabled his legs, so I couldn't do this.

MerlinI knew better.

MaxOkay, Google, stop. Okay, Google, how hot is an autoclave?

Speaker B249 degrees Fahrenheit. According to Wikipedia, many autoclaves are used to sterilize equipment and supplies by subjecting them to pressurize... Did you hear?

MerlinAlexa, how hot is an autoclave?

Speaker B249 degrees Fahrenheit.

MerlinHow hot is an autoclave?

MaxI can't get the answer to that on Apple Watch.

AlexOh, boy.

MerlinClassic, classic episode. They have books about carbon dioxide and a butt plug.

MaxOh, wait a minute. Is your Alexa on? Is it back on?

MerlinThat one's on.

MaxAlexa, set master to relax.

MerlinThat's my home.

MaxOh, that's your home?

MerlinThat's okay.

MaxI heard about it on the popular podcast Roderick on the line.

MerlinHey, Google, going home.

MaxThis is so cool. No lights go. There goes some more lights.

AlexOh, man.

MaxHere's the money shot. Got it.

Speaker BTurning on my dehumidifier.

MaxYeah. That's so cool. And there's some sort of motion sensor in here, and then Merlin waves his hand, and all the lights pop back on, the dehumidifier comes on. It's awesome.

Merlin$20 bill rises out of my hand.

MaxIt's very cool. Does it know when you leave? Do you always remember to say?

MerlinSo it has a proximity dingus that knows if I go outside the ring, turn everything off, turn on the dehumidifier.

MaxThat's awesome.

MerlinThere is a usefulness to this.

MaxOkay, so let's say here's one. I would like when I'm coming down. My studio at home is in my basement.

MerlinYes.

MaxWhen I'm coming down the stairs, I would love for it to turn all the lights on so I don't have to turn, you know, it's just on.

MerlinYou're mostly home kit?

MaxI'm a home kit household. But in the basement, I actually do have an Alexa.

MerlinI would get, I like these Belkin things, but I think they might have stopped making them. You could get an Eve motion detector that I think you can use. HomeKit is such, Alex, get my back on this. HomeKit's kind of bullshit for doing actual recipes for stuff.

Speaker AI disagree. It works.

MerlinOn HomeKit?

Speaker AIt's okay to not like things.

AlexFor my household, yep, for my household, it's great.

MerlinWell, that's a little bit of a slap down on Daddy trying to be helpful. Daddy's being helpful. Daddy's trying to help.

AlexI'm sorry.

MerlinI'm sorry, Paul. It's okay.

MaxThe thing that unlocked home automation for me was the Lutron light switches. So I think for me, the bulb.

MerlinWe got one of those for our bathroom, one for our dining room, and then we've got Hue switches for all the other rooms.

MaxYeah. The smart bulbs to me are, I understand why that's the entry-level thing for people, but I think it's the wrong. I think it's not the end point. The end point you should aspire to is smart light switches and smart outlets in your house. That really gives you the power.

MerlinI agree. I agree. But sometimes, now you take Alex. Alex is not even technically allowed to use her house. The landlord has a codicil in her lease that she's not even technically supposed to be there.

Speaker AOh, Cara Fagan's in the studio. Why are you in the studio, Cara Fagan? This was a trap. It wasn't a trap. Here, here, here's the device you need.

AlexI forgot to put on deodorant. this morning, so Alex is letting me borrow some deodorant. Alright, goodbye.

MaxAw, nice. Kara, stay for a second. Oh, Kara, hold on, stay. I have a topic for Kara. Okay,

Speaker Awhat is that? Just while she's here.

MaxFirst of all, do you just have deodorant on your person all the

Speaker Atime? Yes, I have all of my I have a little pouch with all of the I'm sorry, Kara's putting on it. She's doing it in front of you? Yeah, that was upsetting. HR issue. But yes, I have, okay, we got deodorant in here. I've got some unspeakable feminine product.

Speaker BWhat's deodorant? It's not like an AirPod.

Speaker AI've got some travel face towelettes. I've got some cover-up. Travel face towelettes. Got some Claritin D. Got some of those little Purell wipes and ChapStick. Yeah.

MaxI don't think men can do this. If I came in here and I was like, Merlin, can I bomb a deodorant off you? That'd be weird.

MerlinI'd let you take a hit off it, sure. Just one side. Pick the bad one.

MaxListen, I know we're going to get into it in a minute Because our challenge this week was to watch The Marvelous Mrs. Marvel But Kara, you had a very funny tweet about that

Speaker ANo, Kara is gone She has work She had to leave

AlexI specifically told her to stay

MerlinYou should dock her pay or whatever

AlexYeah, sorry I don't have the power to do that Otherwise I would all the time When she doesn't give me a ride home It's very upsetting

MerlinHow are you doing? You doing good, Alex?

AlexOh, I'm doing great.

MerlinYou sound like you're kind of full of beans. You feel like you got up too early and then caffeinated hard. That's the kind of recipe for a real Alex kind of day, right?

Speaker AOh, for sure, for sure. But I did. I got six and a half hour, six hours and 30 minutes of sleep, and it was all restful.

Speaker BThat's pretty good for you, right?

Speaker AIt is. It is. However, for the first time in a very long time, my heart rate went up 1%.

MerlinMy heart rate is, oh, no, I hate that. You had a, um.

Speaker AOh, boy.

MerlinYeah, you had a reversal of fortune. Yeah, my wellness wake time was not good. Yeah. My heart's a mess.

MaxThe night before the trip, I was lying in bed. You know when you're trying to sleep? I packed, and I was all ready for the trip, and then you're lying in bed. What do you think about? You go, what's going to go wrong on this trip? What did I forget to pack? What's going to happen when I get there?

MerlinIn the business, we call that catastrophizing.

MaxI was catastrophizing. I was having a very pleasant night.

MerlinThis will be better if I think about it harder.

MaxI thought of three things that I absolutely could not forget that I had not packed yet. So I was like, I have to remember to put my Apple Watch on in the morning. I have to remember to bring my Apple Watch. I have to remember to put my big battery in my backpack so I don't forget my big battery. And I have to remember the game prototype of the new game I'm working on. And I was like, I'm not going to write them down because they're so important that I won't forget them. Like, I can't forget them.

Speaker BOh, God. This is a recipe for disaster.

MaxI got on the plane, and the minute I sat down on the plane, I was like, I forgot the prototype. Oh, no. I took over my battery. I didn't bring my Apple Watch.

Speaker BOh, my God. Oh, my God.

MaxIt's a fucking checklist.

Speaker BGet the... I'm looking at mine right here.

MaxI was like, if I wake up and write down these things or go get them right now, I'll never get to sleep.

AlexOh, my God.

MerlinI don't think that's how it works. That's not how lists do.

MaxI was like, I have to keep it in my brain tumbling around like the dryer in here.

MerlinYeah. I've got a whole breakdown that includes stuff I do the week before I leave, stuff that I do on the day that I leave.

MaxI'm going over Merlin. I'm going mobile.

MerlinI was born in the text file.

MaxWhat's up, Quinn? Now I'm on Merlin's mic. How do you like that? Let's get a task paper. What is this? What am I looking at?

Speaker BThis is N.V.A.L.T.

MaxThis is your class, Merlin.

Speaker BThis is where I teach, where my children play with their toys.

Speaker AOh, I thought you liked drafts. Hoo-ah!

MaxGet to the money only.

MerlinHere we go. So you can go in and see a week before you leave. You order from Amazon. You warn the bank that you're traveling. You do all this stuff. Scope out the room service, steak, and pool situation. You've got to schedule the cat people. Check into the flight. One I've added recently is a find cat. That's the very last thing. Find cat. Make sure she's not in something. You do all this and then packing. You've got all the packing.

MaxOkay. I don't know what this is. I mean, it's a bullet-pointed list, but what is this? What is it?

MerlinOh, this is this. Well, I need to update this. but this is my thing that I clone to have a new list every time that I travel.

MaxSo you're going from NvAlt and you export it.

MerlinNow I'm going to open it in task paper where it will be easier to figure out so you can collapse sections. Say, okay, I'm done with before I leave.

MaxWhat is this?

MerlinTask paper. Task paper. It's all a text file.

MaxIs this collaborative or it's just your file?

MerlinI mean, it could be Dropbox.

MaxNo, but not really.

MerlinYeah, I wish there was a better test. Do you have a task paper on iOS that you like, Alex?

AlexNo, I honestly just, the main thing I use task paper for is writing things out in OmniFocus and then throwing it to OmniFocus. So I use, in drafts, you can convert it to task paper. Or dot whatever, or not text paper, task paper.

MerlinI still do it in elements.

MaxAlex, you can go from task paper into OmniFocus?

MerlinYeah. It's just a file format, just a Markdown-ish file format. But then I got my daily, my today.taskpaper, and this is where I keep track of stuff that's happening in generally my projects, stuff I'm doing with the office, stuff I'm waiting on. I'm waiting on a poster. I'm waiting on my bim-bim thing. I'm waiting on my AirPods. And then, yeah, so I do it all from here. My day-to-day, what needs to happen in the next two weeks? OmniFocus. What needs to happen in the next two days? Taskpaper. It needs to be, it needs to be all the things in the action area have to be completed in the next two days.

MaxIf you have a free hour and you're like, I don't know what to do in this hour, what do I do now?

MerlinMasturbate or self-care.

MaxSelf-care.

MerlinOh, I mean, yeah, this is good for that.

MaxCan you open up task paper to know what to do next?

MerlinI could, yeah, yeah, yeah.

AlexNo, no, this is, okay, Max, this is what you want to do. Any task that is like something that your brain just can't, it's like, okay, I need to do something to feel productive. tag it in OmniFocus as low energy. I have low, medium, and high energy.

Speaker BOh, you're doing that thing?

AlexThat's your context thing?

MaxI have tags for energy levels. It's awesome.

AlexOkay, okay. But here's part two. Here is part two.

MaxI have, can I give you a power hack? This is one of Max's OmniFocus power hacks. Yeah. I have a tag for things I can do in a meter. So like.

Speaker BOh! Bravo! Sounds like a really productive. Yeah. Hey, it's me, Gerald. If you ever have sexual intercourse, make sure to do some reading. It's me, Gerald.

MaxI am in a lot of room. Oh, boy.

Speaker BHey, don't focus your attention on anything. That's a real mind drain, Gerald.

MaxAnd my brain is just disintegrating in a cloud of CO2, and I don't strictly need to do anything or be there or pay attention.

MerlinYes.

MaxBut, you know.

Speaker BYeah. Yeah. That's pretty smart.

MaxLook at that. It's the little Alex.

AlexNo, so I do something slightly similar, honestly, where a lot of tasks I just tag today because they are not urgent tasks. It's kind of like your puttering thing, Merlin. Like I have a perspective that is things that don't have a due date, but they are tagged with today. They're tagged with low and medium energy. So if it's like I'm waiting on a delivery or like something like that, it's just nice to like just punch those out.

MerlinYeah, I agree. I mean, like, I think everybody needs a way to, like, have the, I don't want to say spackle, but, like, the kind of, like, near term. Oh, I just don't want to think about my life. I just want to think about getting this the way it needs to be.

MaxSomeone wrote, I wish I remembered where this is from. Someone wrote a really nice blog post of some different views you can make in Omnipho. One of the views is called, like, available. It's, like, basically everything that's available across all your projects. And what you can do with that is you can do a morning review. and you look at all the things you could do today and then you go through and you flag like three of them and you're like, these are the three things I will do today. And then you can go to your flags and your flags are like, that's what needs to happen.

AlexYeah, that's what I do, yeah. But I do it the night before because planning your day in the morning just does not compute with my brain.

MerlinWell, yeah, you're busy. You got to figure that stuff out before the day starts. That makes a lot of sense.

AlexI don't know if you're being sarcastic. I'm not busy, I'm just tired.

Merlinin the morning.

MaxIt's like the Zen master says. If you don't have five minutes to meditate, you need 45 minutes to do an Ami-Pud.

MerlinI didn't have time to write a short meditation. What's his name? Matt Gemmel? Matt Gemmel has a really interesting test.taskpaper that I'll send you guys. If you open it in the Task Paper app, it'll show you the stuff you didn't know you could do if you wanted to do all the crazy stuff.

MaxYou keep repeating lists in Task Paper.

MerlinNo. That's OmniFocus for me.

MaxBut how? So I have one that's my month. Okay, packing, right? You're packing this. You do it, you check everything off, and then it goes away, right?

MerlinYes, you could say...

MaxBring it back in OmniFocus.

MerlinSet the repeating date or defer date to the project itself. And then click it off as when this is done.

MaxI mean, you travel erratically, not on a repeating schedule.

MerlinYeah, I would use a text list for a packing list. I would not use OmniFocus for that.

MaxYou don't save that in task paper?

MerlinNo, but here's me in my chores around the house. And so I will have stuff like recycling, take out the recycling. And I use, what do they call it, emoji cons? And I say, in that case, repeat that every 30 hours after completion.

MaxOh, that's good. Oh, you're in GridView. This is old school OmniFocus.

MerlinIs it? GridView. I think it's recent. GridView. I'm in the 3.2.1.

MaxIs that the retro one?

MerlinOh, I like being able to escape out. I do a lot of old school. No, but I do a ton of this stuff. So I like this dumb stuff. Bring up paper towels every 12 days. In this case, I've got to remember to bring more seltzer to the office. But I'll do stuff like that. And then the key also, unless you can get past this mindfuck, you will set, you probably have times set for start. So, for example, my new tasks start at like 9. new tasks are due at like 150 because you set those times make sure you make it erratic because

if you get 15 things at 150 you're going to ignore them so set the repeating chores at crazy ass times and crazy ass repeating and that way it'll be it breaks your brain this is more of a life

Maxadvice request than a tech support request but so what i have all my household things on recurring tasks it's an it's an it's an it's actually amazing it's powerful to do everything but But there is a piece of it where once I'm comfortable putting it out of my brain, now it's an OmniFocus, I'm also comfortable being like, I'll do it tomorrow, OmniFocus will remember. How do you get out of that? Because then you're right, it does pile up and it becomes overwhelming because you have all of your...

MerlinI have a thought on that. Tell us your thought on that, Alex.

AlexOh, go to a therapist. No, but really...

MerlinPut that on the list. I say in iOS...

MaxI'll make a task paper to-do list.

MerlinIn iOS, slide from right to left and say defer to tomorrow or complete it if you know you're not going to do it.

AlexThere are days when, like, Max. Max has a very fluid schedule. You know, he's not. I know. I know. I tried to make a joke, but then I put it. I moved on.

Speaker BMy schedule is very fluid. I travel frequently. I bring face wipes.

Speaker AWhat's wrong with face wipes? Travel face wipes. I have very oily skin. How often do you need to clean your face? Oh, no. Honest to God, at minimum every eight hours, but usually at conventions, like every three hours or so, because you get sweaty and you just got to move. I don't know.

MerlinI have one deodorant that's tied to my iCloud account and another one that is a guest account.

AlexOh, my God.

MaxAnd then there's the family deodorant.

MerlinIt's got two-factor deodorant.

MaxIt's related to your face. It's on the same subnetwork as your family cloth.

MerlinOh, yeah. You got to get a subnet if you're doing IPVV6. you're going to want a way to be able to access that through the deodorant firewall.

MaxWhat do I want here?

Speaker BTask major?

MaxThe Task Paper iOS app?

Speaker BNo, because here's the problem.

MerlinMost of the Task Paper stuff on iOS kind of sucks.

MaxDo you use drafts?

MerlinYep. Drafts or elements. Not elements. Shit! I still call it elements. Drafts or editorial.

AlexThanks for your service, Justin Williams. How's he doing? He's still around?

MerlinMine is still called Elements, Alex.

AlexSo is mine. Yep. Yep. Because I don't know. Do you have this? This might be a whole other show, but this is one of those things that kind of makes me nostalgic. And I'm finding now that there are little pieces in like my tech world workflow that it's like just little.

Speaker AIt's not that I haven't updated them. It's just like little ways I name things.

MerlinYou would never even think to remember that they are there in most cases.

Speaker ARight.

MerlinYeah.

Speaker AYeah.

MerlinI have tons of this. Yeah.

Speaker AIt's just it's kind of nice.

MerlinI agree. I agree. I wanted to show somebody a photo of something that I knew was from the early 2000s, but not exactly. I knew it was between 2001, 2003. So I opened up my phone and was like, flukka, flukka, flukka, flukka, flukka. And it's so amazing to go back 16 years in your life and you find these photos of things you completely forget about.

MaxCan I show you something? I have a great one of these.

MerlinIs it a trick?

MaxOpen up your photos app and go to albums and then go to screenshots.

MerlinOh, Lord. Oh, I love doing this. I'm there. Albums. I'm clicking. Albums. Here we go.

MaxHere's the good shit.

MerlinI got a feeling I'm going to see some forestall in here.

MaxOh, Doctor.

MerlinOh, love some forestall. So much forestall. So it's called Screen...

MaxIt's going to the bottom in the albums and then all the way down.

MerlinAll the way down.

MaxAll the way.

MerlinAnd then screenshots. Oh, yeah. Okay, screenshots. Woo!

Max5,000 screenshots. Look at that.

MerlinOldest one. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's some matching. We're trying to get John Roderick to sing a song and see if this app could figure it out. Oh, Pastebot. Oh, Alex, I've got to send you some of these.

AlexOh, I miss Pastebot.

MerlinLook at that. Look at that baby. Look at that baby. Pastebot. I still use Pastebot on the Mac OS. Okay, I'll send you my oldest one. My oldest one. Oof. Here's my Pastebot. Wow, this is really exciting for our listeners. Hey! Should we do a better transition than that? I...

Speaker BTake it to the Gunga Challenge!

MaxYou know what? Listen, I know people are listening to this They probably want to see the oldest screenshot on our phone. And here's how you're going to do that. The thing is, everybody, you have money, and we want your money. And if you just go to giveusyourfuckingmoney.com, you can become a supporting member of Dubai Friday. You can join such illustrious sponsors as the Catherine T. and John D. MacArthur Foundation, supporting the more just, green, and verdant, peaceful world.

And you can become a patron of Dubai Friday. What do you get for that? Other than the good feeling of making the world a more just green and verdant place You get Well we record a whole second episode every week It's our after show And that is available only for the paying members, the good paying members of Dubai Friday and you can join them GiveUsYourFuckingMoney.com And in the after show we will all share the oldest screenshot on our phone and you can just take a look at that and enjoy that

AlexThat's a good idea That's very upsetting that's a little

Maxthat's a little lanyap

MerlinC2E2

Maxyou know that word Merlin?

Merlinyeah lanyap is a little something extra in New Orleans just because I'm looking at my phone and cropping a photo of you doesn't mean I'm not listening I have many many skills

Maxthat's a great one lanyap is one of my favorite words and I learned another good one I was hanging out with a former clown a Reignan Brothers clown was it Gambit? yeah I was Gambit I was hanging out with Gambit and he taught me he said so you're going to serve it

Speaker BDid you say a former rodeo clown?

MaxNo, a Ringling Brothers. See, you were fucking listening to me.

Speaker BI'm cropping your photo.

MaxSee, you were what I'm saying. Okay, I was hanging out with a clown. He used to be a Ringling Brothers clown.

Speaker BHe was a clown. So it's different from a rodeo?

MaxYeah.

Speaker BIs it like being a Marine where there's no such thing as a retired Marine?

MaxHe was also a Marine. He was also a Marine. Hong, Hong.

Speaker BI didn't watch my buddies die face down In a tiny car to put up with this shit Semper Fi

Speaker AI'm Marini

Speaker BI'm Marini the clown Never leave a man behind Come on Waddles

AlexOh boy So if you're in the carnival

Speaker BAnd you want to do extra cash If you're in the carnival

MaxYou can do extra work so you can clean shit up or run cables or whatever. And if you get that extra work, do you know what that's called?

Speaker BNo.

MaxCherry pie.

Speaker BOh, cherry pie.

MaxLet me call it cherry pie. Cherry pie. I'm looking for some cherry pie.

MerlinYou want to pick up a little bit of extra sugar dough? Yeah. I like that. Is that a great word? It's a great word. They say.

MaxSend me your good words, everybody. If you're sitting on a cherry pie.

MerlinIf you're a pilot or a retired Marine clown.

MaxYeah, get in touch.

MerlinTell us about the lingo, the inside stories.

Speaker BWhatever did happen to Mr. Bubbles? how even do you get all that seltzer

MaxI don't want to say what happened Mr. Bubbles

Speaker Bthis is my rifle this is my gun

MaxI don't want to get into it but do you know what fragging is

Speaker Bif your clown's a second lieutenant yeah you just came here on a clown West Point he graduated listen folks we don't like this guy graduated last in his class anyway

Speaker Awhy am I feeling sad for his clown

MerlinIt's hard to be a clown.

Speaker AOh, I bet.

MerlinIt's a hard knock clown. Challenge!

MaxChallenge!

MerlinThis week the challenge was Max Tempkin's challenge.

MaxOh, shit. My challenge was, I needed a layup this week because I was traveling, and so the challenge was, go see the film Captain Marvel. Yep. I saw it with Veronica on, I think we saw it on opening night, actually. Really? And we saw it on a nice big IMAX screen, and I remembered my glasses. and I liked it. I thought it was great. Possibly because I remember my glasses, I thought it was one of the best looking Marvel movies. I just thought it was a look really...

MerlinI brought mine too with the broken off arm.

MaxBut it sort of dangled off your face at a 45 degree angle.

Speaker BI love you. Support the clowns.

MaxBasically, I like this movie even though it had a female protagonist. I like it despite that.

Speaker BI was very brave of you.

MaxGood, good for you. good for you. Yeah. No, I really enjoyed it. I thought that it, I really liked, I thought that, well, how much, can we do like barely any spoilers?

MerlinOh, I think we can do spoilers, don't you? How else we can do? Spoilers!

MaxWe're not going to ruin the movie so much that you won't enjoy it, in my opinion, but you might learn something about it.

MerlinTo talk about the problem that a lot of people have with this movie, which I will not fucking hear, but to talk about the problem, one of the problems people have with this movie, it will be necessary to talk a little bit about the way this story is structured.

AlexYes, agreed.

MerlinBecause I did not know that I wasn't supposed to like this movie until I heard people talk about the problems. Do you know about the problems, Alex? Trouble production?

AlexNo, no, actually, I don't.

MerlinSo, you know, go see Captain Marvel. You know what? I will not abide it. I fucking loved this movie. And if you don't like it, that's fine. What?

AlexI'm sorry. Go on.

MerlinOh, my God. No, you're going to do that, aren't you?

Maxyeah i i had some feelings i i like the movie i don't know it's interesting i've avoided from anything about this movie other than i went and saw it and made me feel happy

Merlini thought it's a really fun it's an honest to god legit superhero movie yeah i thought structurally

Maxi really like the way they told the story in this movie and i thought that it was a structurally more complex movie like marvel one of the biggest problems with these marvel films is they have this three-act structure that is so predictable i could hit the beats with my eyes closed even the best

Merlinone of them is going to have a CGI fight him up in the third act.

MaxAnd just the way I don't know, I'm just so tired of the rhythm of these movies and I thought this was really refreshing. I really was

Merlinsurprised. She's just flatly likable too. Brie Larson is so likable.

MaxThere were big sections of this movie where I genuinely did not know what was going to happen next. I really can't say that about almost any other Marvel movie that I've seen recently. I loved it. I thought it was very fun and there is a big plot twist involving the big meta story. There's a couple

Merlinmix-em-ups with the plot where, like, if you didn't know what was... I think we should explore... Alex, help us understand what... So you didn't like it. No, wait, let me ask you this. Before... Okay, so

Alexstraight up... Because women can't be superheroes? I mean, you can say it's a safe space. You can't hear that. Yeah, I know. It's a safe spot. Yeah, didn't like the women superheroes. I did not like the color palette. I thought the story structure was the same as every Marvel movie. I was not invested in the alien refugees. I didn't buy any of the...

Speaker AIt was really weird. It did not... It felt like a movie... I think you say this. It felt like a movie by a committee. And Brie Larson is fucking amazing,

Alexbut she sure did not have a lot to work with. and that really bummed me out. And I think, I don't know, I thought the battle scenes were harder to follow

Speaker Athan any Marvel movie in a while. Yeah, that's true.

AlexI thought the color palette, I just was really, and I went to...

MaxYou know, there's that final big fight on the space station and I will say I was fully confused. I didn't know where...

MerlinThe I'm Just a Girl fight?

MaxI'm Just a Girl fight?

MerlinWere they playing the...

MaxGreat soundtrack. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I was fully confused. I didn't know.

MerlinBecause they've already done the big reveal of her fire hands and the big explosion of power, which I loved. But then it comes back and it's a pretty quotidian like fight. She's already kind of won and then they do it again.

MaxSpatially know where anyone was related to anyone else. Not really.

MerlinIt was no Dunkirk. Yeah. Okay, Alex.

Speaker AI truly did not understand the stakes of this film. Like I sort of did because I knew about the, that's the other thing. You need to know a lot of lore. This is not a movie anybody can walk into and know what is happening.

MerlinI mean, the Kree and Skrull stuff is pretty nerdy.

MaxI've never heard the word Kree or Skrull in my life.

MerlinBut you got that there. Hatfields and McCoys.

MaxThe only thing I was very confused about was why some of the Kree were blue and some of them were human.

MerlinI agree.

MaxWhy was Jula like a human and then Mar-Vell was a human. I did not understand that. I got it by the end. I was like, I guess some of them look like humans, but I didn't understand why. Was that just so they could make you wonder if Brie Larkin was a human or not?

MerlinI don't know the answer to that.

MaxOr you're not?

AlexWell, okay. Why was the cat there? I'm not being, I love the cat. What was the purpose?

MaxSo they're toying with you. They had these long lingering shots of the cat and you know they're telling you visually, this cat's important, this cat's important. No, I know that. And you're thinking the whole time, you're like, it's a Skrull, it's a Skrull, don't take it with you, it's a Skrull, it's a Skrull.

MerlinAnd like, why does he keep, why is that guy so scared of a cat? That's funny.

MaxYeah, it was a great, and they're building it up and building it up and building it up, and then they do a little switcheroo, and it was genuinely delightful and surprising. I had no fucking clue that was going to happen.

Speaker ABut why is that cat there to help them? That is what I can't...

MaxThey took me from the base, it was in the military.

MerlinIt belonged to Annette Bening. It was Annette Bening's cat. So she brought the flerkin with her from wherever she's from.

AlexGot it. Okay.

MerlinYeah, that movie did not age well.

AlexAmerican Beauty? Oh, wow.

MerlinI don't understand what could go wrong. You got a high school student in Rosebud's and you got Kevin Spacey.

AlexPlastic bag flown in the wind.

MerlinThat is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.

AlexMost beautiful thing.

MerlinMy wife and I still say that every time a bag blows by.

AlexSame.

MerlinSo two things. One, when you talk about the color palette and the way things look, one of my favorite descriptions of this was on Culture Gab Fest. Julia Turner said, she's trying to describe, she's like, I didn't like the beginning and the way that it looked. And she was like, it's sort of like, you know that stuff that's on a lottery scratch-off ticket? It's like you were watching the movie through that.

Speaker AYes.

MerlinAnd then I saw it and I couldn't unsee it. It looked like hundreds of people had scratched off lottery tickets. It was floating in space.

AlexIt felt like playing Mass Effect in college on a really shitty monitor where everything... I don't know. I went in with sort of neutral expectations other than I love Brie Larson. I know there's going to be an alien cat. I really liked what they did with Nick Fury and Agent Coleman.

The guy who dies and then doesn't. Coltman? Colter. Anne, I think that's her name.

MerlinAgent Colter, okay.

AlexBut there are moments that I really love, but this, I wish this film had a true director. I wish that this film had, it felt like there was no agency.

MerlinIt felt, and like, again, now I'm cribbing from other things that I've heard, but here's the thing, and I'm going to be honest, people can like and not like other things. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie a thousand times more than I thought I would. Even though I'm very invested in the character and I like the comic, I was ready hearing everything about this. I was ready to not like this. And instead, I really did like it. Now, with that said, this is going to be one of my gimmies. You know what I mean? This is going to be like, you know what? If you don't like it, that's fine. I don't want to argue. No, this is not about you. But I'm not going to defend this movie.

With that said, I'm not reading a lot of the details on what went wrong. But have you heard things about what went wrong, Alex? like why it was structured the way that it was no i feel like i've heard i hope i'm getting this right but basically it was to have been a conventionally told timeline story about a woman who's a pilot that goes into this thing and like there's a crash and then she'd get superpowers and then she comes back to earth and apparently part of the troubled production or the way they

needed to speed this up was like i guess something got botched and they had to speed things up and they needed to make it a flashback and then add a bunch of stuff like vet me on this but this is what i've heard why why it's told in that wackadoo way uh so much was not to like trip you up and go oh my god jude law it was more like that there were problems with you know there's shots where she's walking around and it looks like a it looks like a quinn martin production from 1977 there's scenes where you're like wow that was the lighting for that like that was really abrupt You know, that was what you got in that one day.

And so anyway, that's, have you heard anybody, has anybody else heard anything about this?

AlexI heard that it happened, but I didn't want to like color my feelings about the film going in. Kind of like how I knew that the Avengers, the first Avengers got really fucked up. And then I felt like I was too generous with it because it's not that great.

MerlinThat is a director commentary you do not want to miss. That's a very good director.

AlexYeah, I've seen it. Woo, or heard it.

MerlinYes. The entire thing is basically Joss Whedon going, we had a day and a half to shoot this. If we'd had more money and time, this would have looked so good. The entire thing is just budgetary and time constraints. It's like basically the entire movie was shot in a warehouse in Atlanta. Everything in it was, oh, that's as good as the Chitauri space motorcycle could look, given what we had.

MaxI've developed some experience. I figured out how to enjoy Marvel movies.

Merlinwhich is uh you gotta shut off certain parts of your well okay so to me i think the best

Maxexperience with a marvel movie is seeing it the first time in a theater and being surprised by what happens and the marketing for these movies is so aggressive and the trailers are so thirsty to get you to see them that they give everything away so that you can't be surprised and i think these movies are not so deep that after you sort of know the big beats of the movie and the ideas and the art direction and stuff that you're like, there's a ton more to chew on. Yeah. That's kind of all there is. So you can, to me, the right way to get these movies,

you got to go in fresh and you just let it wash over and you're like, holy shit, that's cool.

MerlinThat's super true, especially the Avengers movies. Yeah. Yeah. I totally agree. I cannot think about Avengers movies too much or my brain breaks. I'm like, this is like, this is like a two and a half hour long trailer for something better.

MaxYeah. There's not enough substance to almost any of these movies that you want to like.

MerlinThey have like 15 or 20 named characters in it. Like it's nuts. And it relies so heavily on what you know about this dumb thing. But don't think too much about it because it's not exactly like the comic. And that's been my problem. That was one of my problems with Infinity War. It was more like, I don't know. Yeah, you're right. You've got to let it wash over.

MaxSo I've adopted the full media blackout. I don't watch the trailers. I don't consume any information about the films. I certainly don't want to know. anyway but like in all of these movies there's usually like a few iconic shots or moments where it's like oh that's like the big visual thing and you're just like fuck yeah like that's the when the avengers like do their big pose or whatever yeah and it's better if you don't

Merlinknow it's coming well it's like when hulk comes through the wall in the ragnarok trailer it's like that's great for the trailer but that would as many people have pointed out that would have been a so much more fun like you had no idea this was coming if hulk appeared and you had no idea he was in the movie. I did not

Alexknow and it was wonderful.

MerlinYes. Loved it. Even if you don't know the planet if you don't know the planet Hulk storyline it's still it's still a great bit. So

MaxI'm not a very spoiler sensitive person. I think most good media can hold up to being spoiled and there's enough there to enjoy that it doesn't matter if you're spoiled or not. If the best thing about a movie is a little surprising you don't know then how good of a movie is it. But I do think the Marvel movies are not so great that they that they don't withstand that. Like, it is better if you're just going fresh, you don't know what the fuck is going on. I didn't know a thing about Captain Marvel. I was totally surprised. I liked all of it. I didn't notice any of these problems,

and I really enjoyed it. I liked the timeline stuff. And one thing, like, I didn't know, like, the Air Force stuff was in there, and I thought it was going to be, like, Top Gun. Like, I thought there was going to be a lot of Air Force, like, origin story stuff.

Speaker AI wanted more of that. I wanted less space,

MerlinAnd normally I always want the space stuff, but they, the whole like, oh gosh, Carol realizes that she's human. That whole thing with talking to Maria like happens so fast and then it's supposed to be like, okay, so this is what we're doing. And like, if that had had like seven minutes of bonding over air stuff as two women, you know, in the air force or whatever, it would have made more sense. But I, yeah, and that's how, apparently that's how Goose got his name because of Top Gun.

AlexYeah, I will. My one thing was that that made me really happy is I can't I did come out of there caring about the characters enough that it made me instantly go out and get the comics by go out. I mean, do some tappy taps on my phone to buy it. But I was like, I want more of this character. I want more of this story because it felt like a movie for maybe people who are fans of Captain Marvel really, really enjoyed it.

But I don't. It's not that I don't think that makes a bad film. It's just definitely a film like for certain people. And sometimes I like that.

MerlinDid you end up looking at the comics then?

Alexoh i did like a quick flip through gorgeous art but i haven't read anything yet some of the yeah

Merlini like the artists that they chose but like she's just she's a really fun character and kellyanne does this or um kelly sue rather does this like pretty remarkable thing with that character you know at marvel you don't make any extra dough for bringing a character to me for making a character interesting the only way you make any serious money at marvel is to like invent a character which they generally don't let you do right so she's taking this character that was mostly just like a foxy chick in the 70s who's had you know she's super powerful and whatever she suffers from that overpowered thing even in the comics but like in this case she the making

it about like and you know kelly sue has family that's been i think specifically in the air force and she's very interested in veterans and flying and stuff like that and she really brings that to the comic like to the character which gives it this whole new angle that you know led to the whole like carol core thing like the number of people who got behind this character this phenomenon of this comic that did not sell surpassingly well, but it sold deep amongst the people who cared about it and like spawned an entire kind of, not cult, but like an entire like whole thing about, you know, the cosplay and craft community around Captain Marvel

was way outsized to the number of books that it sold every month. And there's actually a really good article about this that I'm struggling to find. But yeah, yeah, so that's where that came from. But yeah, the art is pretty beautiful, isn't it?

AlexMm-hmm, yeah. I really don't want to be a karma suck about this movie. and I'm really glad that people are enjoying it. But I'm also super confused. I mean, I guess I'm not confused, but the anger around this movie and this from a bunch of Nazis, there's very, I guess I appreciated this, there's very little talk of like, oh, she's a woman because the aliens, they don't have gender. And so it's like, yeah, yeah, whatever. There's a brief mention of like, yeah, women in the air force.

MaxShe towers over Jude Law and he's like, fight me, fight me, argue with me. And she's like, I have nothing to prove. And that was a little, I felt like, all right, I get it.

MerlinThere's a lot of the same familiar arguments we got about Rey.

Speaker AI got it.

MerlinAbout Rey in the Star Wars movie, which is like...

Speaker AI thought it was even less, though. And I'm like, why?

MerlinNo, just the whole like, well, yeah, look, she's got these huge Jedi powers. And in this case, it's like she would never be able to beat up that dude. And it's like, really? In a comic movie?

MaxShe almost beat him up in the first two minutes of the movie. right yeah yeah yeah so why i don't understand well at that point in the movie god it's so

Merlinconfusing she already had her magic powers at that point though brain restrict her out

Speaker Ayeah right right right she got she was chipped yeah well oh and what's the the artificial intelligence called like the great knowledge or something the great okay that was weak that was

Merlinsuper weak that was so weak and confused it's like okay we've got a net bending for three days Let's use her for these things.

Speaker AYeah.

MerlinI really get the feeling she was called back in for something there.

Speaker AYeah.

MerlinDon't you think?

Speaker ABut also, is that part of Marvel lore, or is this just for the-

MerlinNot the Great Intelligence. That's Doctor Who. What was she called?

AlexOh, right.

MerlinGreat Intelligence is in that one episode with Richard E. Grant, with the snowmen. That's a very good episode, Alex. You ever seen that one?

Speaker BYeah. You didn't like the snowmen? with the lady in the pond? Get it? Pond? River? River? Melody? Get it? Melody? There's no word in Polish for song?

I've always been your family.

MerlinGod, that show's stupid and I love it so much. I cry and cry. I love it. I think, where's he from? I think about the Gallifrey Cradle. I think about it and I just start getting weepy.

MaxYou travel through time. he flips his scarf

Show notes

Transcript

124. Goodbye Dance

Show notes

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