15. Defending the Border

AlexThis is Do By Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Merlin Mann, Alex Cox, and Max Temkin. This week, Max's mystery challenge.

MaxHi, everyone. Hey, how's it going, buddy? Good. There's so much to talk about, I'm overwhelmed. Really? I'm completely overwhelmed.

AlexYou got so much follow-up.

MaxOh, it's follow-up out the ass this week. Okay. The first thing is Alex this morning tweeted a live stream of her doing some nasal irrigation, some nasal blasting. And I'm not 100% sure from what I saw that you did it correctly.

AlexSo I don't think I did either. It felt right at the time, sort of. But this generic microblaster is much bigger than the one that Max originally recommended to me a while ago.

MaxI didn't know. So I'm looking for a smaller one for travel purposes. So if you know of a smaller one, send it my way.

AlexIt's like the base of it is smaller.

MaxNow, this is the exact nasal irrigation unit that I use and endorse myself in my own home.

AlexAll right. All right. Then maybe I will re-endorse the Walgreens generic brand micro-filtered sinus wash system.

MaxWith the built-in micro-filter so you don't get a brain amoeba. Yes, that is very important. Now, here's the technique, Alex. You put one salt in the thing. You fill it with water. And then you hold it up to your nose with your head upright. You do not do anything weird with your head. You stand up upright. No tilting or anything like that. The little weenus goes in your nose. And then you squeeze firm, hard. and all the water comes out your other nostril and you empty the whole barrel the whole thing that's what i did comes out and then you refill another salt you fill it with water and you go switch to the other nostril and you go and the whole you blast a whole other barrel through

your other nostril oh so it's a double barrels oh you got your lefty and your righty i've never

Alexdone a double barrel you're not doing it right yeah no it's it's definitely overwhelming but but a lot of times um like you definitely get a sense of okay there's saline going through it It was through my nose. But this is, I kind of felt like I was drowning in an ocean. That's your good.

MerlinYeah, that's how it should feel. All right. You should feel like there's holes in your head you didn't realize were accessible to saline.

MaxAlex, that's what's known. So that's a health bump. So you're supposed to feel worse before it feels better. That's how you know it's working. Because what's happening is that the toxins coming out, they're all getting released.

AlexReally, saline is just a powder. That's what it is. It's a powder.

MaxI mean, listen, everything is a powder. That's what makes powder theory such a compelling view of the world.

MerlinWe're all born as powder and we all end up as powder. It's all powder in the end. Day one, Noam Chomsky. I've done two envelopes of saline, and boy, that's a trip, my friend.

AlexI did that one time, and I will never do it again.

MaxThey call that, on the box, they call that a hyper solution.

AlexI mean, it worked. I sound much less Muppety, so maybe I've been doing it wrong this whole time, and I finally did it right. So thanks, Periscope.

MaxThis is from the I just like this This is not really a follow up This is just a news story I really like this morning From the Wall Street Journal So this is yesterday They're talking about the press trying to ask a question About Mike Flynn resigning And that they have not been able to do that successfully So the Wall Street Journal says Mr. Trump avoided questions about Mr. Flynn Monday morning during a news conference With Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau Consequently, reporters lined up And spent three hours waiting outside Mr. Spisser's office to get an update.

When Mr. Trump walked by on his way to the Oval Office, they shouted questions about him and his national security advisor. So you guys got that? The reporters lined up for three hours outside of Sean Spisser's office trying to get one question about Mike Flynn. Trump walks right by this big gaggle of reporters. Mr. Trump ignored them and then turned to a picture on the wall of the audience that witnessed his inaugural speech on January 20th. Mr. Trump ignited the first controversy of his presidency by ordering Mr. Spisser to push back on widely reported data that showed that the crowd witnessing his inauguration was smaller than his predecessor's audience.

Quote, quote, where did all these people come from? Oh, Mr. Trump said, feigning surprise as he leaned over the picture and pointed to individual people in the crowd. And they spelled oh with four H's. So, you know, it's very clear that he went. Oh.

What a fucking baby. The president is such a fucking child.

AlexDo you think it's true that he's really just micromanaging everything that Spicer says during press conferences?

MaxNo, no. I don't think he has the capacity or the sort of brain power to micromanage all this stuff that's going on. But I think when something really crazy happens, so, for example, that Spitzer went out on the first day of the presidency and lied about the size of the crowd for the inauguration, I think that really crazy shit comes directly from Trump.

MerlinHe reads it differently. Like I watched the press conference with the Treasury guy as the opening act. And I think when Spitzer starts talking especially fast and animatedly, that to me is a signal that it's something that Trump directly or indirectly said, hey, look, basically there's people out there who are doubting X about this thing. I undisputably think about myself. Make sure to pay me a compliment or share a compliment or say what Charles Krauthammer had to say about this. You know what I mean? I bet I bet there are some fairly specific notes about messaging that come straight from him.

MaxYeah. Trump always straddles the line between brilliant and insane very closely. And I think, you know, when you get that thing where he comes out the first day and starts arguing with the inauguration crowd, like it was kind of a crazy fucking move because it set everyone off and it was a lie. But also it was kind of I mean, we talked about this before that the Tyler Cowen post of like there's reasons that he lies to show his power.

MerlinI keep coming back to Talking Points memo razor on this. The other part of this is people are always talking about, oh, he's our first reality show president. He literally was on a reality show. If you look at a lot of what he likes to do, there's the one part of, okay, he has this persona, but I've said this to my kids. When you think about what you want to do for your next job, think about how you like to spend your time and who you like to spend it with, and think about what he likes to do. He likes to be photographed. He likes to receive compliments, and he likes to autograph things.

Speaker ASo, of course, executive orders are a no-brainer. Bring me more things to sign. I have a really cool signature. I think he just likes signing autographs.

MerlinHe doesn't care who it's to. Oh, wow.

MaxI mean, we know from a leak, or we suspect from a leak, that he was actually pretty mad that when he signed the executive order appointing Dan into the Security Council. Right. He didn't know what the fuck he was signing.

Speaker AAll right. Follow-up number two.

MaxThis is a piece from the Philly Voice, And they have a story about a local politician. It's a, let's see, he's described as Senator Dalen Leach, Democrat Montgomery.

So this is from Philly, describes, so the headline is, Pennsylvania Senator to Trump. Come after me, you shit gibbon. and then he tweeted he said in a tweet he said hey at real donald trump i oppose civil asset forfeiture too why don't you try to destroy my career you fascist loofah face shit gibbon that's pretty good so i just want to say he's obviously a listener of the podcast so shout out to uh senator leach thank you senator thank you senator that was very funny and i'm glad that

you participated in our challenge last week you're really gonna like this week's challenge

Merlinnot a spoon oh god this week's challenge oh my god oh your political list my wife and i are sitting on the couch last night and we look at each other and we're both like going flicka flicka flicka through max's politics list i'm like god we're so broken i was doing that too

Maxi was lying i was lying in bed moaning like i was like i was like i was sick like i was sick and it was right as there was some what was happening there was something crazy shit was going down last night oh the what it was like the washington post and the new york times were both breaking details about this like that trump campaign trump's campaign was in like what they

Merlincalled constant contact multi this is i mean this is this is really the polish on this apple is like it's all the stuff we feared looking a lot worse than we had thought it is it's not it wasn't like one guy had a had a secure call with somebody in russia and that was that lots of people had lots of calls with lots of people in very careless ways and that's just one of the stories that's

Maxone of the stories and clearly you're like you fucking know that the russians were feeding trump opposition and research on his opponents and intelligence and it wouldn't surprise me if if it came from Russia, the whole Obama's birth certificate issue, and that they were kind of playing Trump to make him bring that up. Because Trump always was like, I have an amazing source that I cannot reveal who told me that Obama's birth certificate is a fraud. So it was very possible that people in his inner circle or him directly were talking with Russia. But then he cucked poor Mike Pence,

got totally cucked by Trump. He got a Trump cuck. Oh, they're all cucks. Everyone in that administration is obviously a cuck. and uh uh the other thing is that's interesting about this is this all corroborates that one intelligence report from that like british intelligence officer or whatever who was like

Merlinthis brings us to moby we got to talk about moby well i think moby's got some information too

Maxbut that remember that report remember the sources the best sources remember the report that british report that came out and we weren't sure if it was true or not so the one i think about every day It's piece by piece. It's being corroborated. Almost every detail in that thing is being corroborated. And I'm just going to say that I'm officially reversing my position. May I call Puppet? I was wrong. I think the piss stuff is real. I think the piss stuff happened.

MerlinMax, I saw that today. I saw you trying to get a second source on the PP. This is what Moby says. Moby says the PP is real. And Moby would know. He's an electronic artist. He made that album play. That was Moby. That one. Yeah, no, that's funny because like you, I think, you know, I have to listen to my better angels and just go, you know what, the pee-pee thing, that could be a, as they say, a false flag or that could be like a, you know, weird oppo.

I don't know what you call it, but boy, oh my goodness. But now, OK, so you tell me it sounds like the prevailing wisdom could be the chatter, as you say, is that PP or not, that there is definitely there's evidence mounting. God, why do I parse my words? They've got shit on him.

Speaker AOh, yeah.

MaxListen, it's number they've got shit. They've got number one and number two.

but here's the thing is that the pp the piss the piss stuff the piss material was never the worst thing in that report the material was that the rough was that the russians had leverage on trump through him or his staff and they were working them and that they were in communication and now we fucking know it's true so that's the worst part of that intelligence report and it's corroborated from multiple angles, multiple different details

have corroborated it independently and there was a major resignation of one of the most senior people in the United States over it. So you fucking know it's true. And I don't know, we don't have any new information about the piss stuff, but the heart wants what it wants. And I just, I know, listen, I want it so badly.

AlexWell, and that's the thing, it is by far, like who cares who's peeing on each other? But that's not what... You think we're going to get a tape? I this is what white moms in America want like like this they don't care about Russian intelligence they are going to flip out when it's like oh those those uh those prostitutes were somebody somebody's daughter like that's what's gonna happen but is this not is this not very reality

Maxshow yeah I have it to play out because the whole ascension of the villain they're going they're supposed to know that they're the bad guy when you're you know when you're philip or omarosa you're supposed you know when you're the dingaling you're supposed to go on the show and go i ain't come here to make friends and you know what i mean and you're supposed to know that you're the bad guy and then you get to a position of prominence and your own it's it's a tragic fall because it's your own flaws bring you down and it's trump's own lack of shame and ego that made him pay those ladies to

pee on him and now we're going to get the tape. I bet he still hasn't paid them. I can't say what it's going to do because probably it'll have no effect and everything will go on even though we have a tape of these ladies

Alexpeeing on the president. But I just hold out hope. Like that one weekend where we thought it was all over and the... Pissgate. No, but like when the tape of Billy Bush came out we all felt like, okay, this is over. It's done. And we were all so naive and stupid but I just

Maxone so last last night i was lying in bed and i was scrolling refresh refresh you know pull on the top pull on the top is there anything new pull on the top and she's looking at the news and she's moaning and veronica was like why are why would are you doing this you're so miserable and i was like and i was like it's all over like he's done like we've got him and she was like this is exactly she's like i came home from work like six months ago and you were sitting on the couch watching cnn when the pussy tape happened and you were like shaking you were so excited and i was i was I had my iPad in one hand and my phone in the other hand, and I was staring at CNN, and I was refreshing everything, and I was, like, jacked into the Matrix with pussy talk.

And I was like, it's over. It's all ending. And I've been wrong every single time. It never hurts him.

MerlinYou got excited yesterday. You made a Grinch smile at Elizabeth Warren. You're so excited.

MaxI did.

MerlinThere's a line in, oh, God, Dr. Strangelove. It just keeps giving. They're in the war room. and the ambassador's there. He's talking about how they had to build a doomsday machine because they learned the Americans were building one. The deciding factor was, when we learned that your country was working along similar lines and we were afraid of a doomsday gap, and the president says, this is preposterous. I've never approved of anything like that. The ambassador says, our source was the New York Times.

That's the thing. Mike Pence wakes up. Mama makes him a meal. Mother, who has prepared this meal? Where's my Washington Post? Mother, mother, mother, who has prepared the Washington Post?

MaxI have a major lifestyle change to announce on this podcast. Guess what? It's a big change in my life. Guess what I drink now? Hang on. I'm going to give you a little clue.

MerlinIs it a powder, Max?

MaxDid you hear that?

MerlinIs that Soylent?

MaxOh, no, it's not Soylent. It's far worse, my friend. I am now a guy who drinks kombucha. Oh, God. Oh, big time. Big time.

MerlinDid it come with a free yoga mat?

MaxWe got a case of kombucha. No, yoga's lame. We got a case of kombucha. Yoga doesn't work. That's nonsense. What do you mean it doesn't? Okay, we're letting it go.

Speaker AWe're letting it go. This is science.

MerlinLetting it go. This gets the toxins out.

MaxYoga is fake news. We got a case of kombucha in the writer's room, and I've been drinking it all week. And first of all, it tastes amazing.

MerlinOkay, so tell me about kombucha. Is this the one where you drink it out of a coconut with a little straw? Or am I thinking of a brass monkey? What's it called, a Moscow mule? What am I thinking of?

MaxKombucha. Kombucha is, it says right here on the bottle, rejoice, this is a live food.

Speaker ASo now what it is, is it's a fermented.

MaxYou do sound pretty happy. I've got crazy kombucha energy. It's a fermented tea beverage, and it's mildly alcoholic and mildly caffeinated. Sweet. Now, what brand? Now, I do the GT's Kombucha, and the flavor that I like is the multi-green, and it has both green tea and algae in it.

MerlinOh, God. Did you start with that one, or did you start out with bubble gum? Were you able to jump straight in with that?

MaxI started with a lemon one, and it was too vinegary.

MerlinCitrus, gingerade, multigreen, botanic number three, botanic number seven, botanic number nine.

MaxThe gingerade is also very good.

MerlinOkay.

MaxNo, I don't know. I think it tastes good, and then I feel great after I'm on number two right now. No kidding. Yeah, so I just have crazy kombucha energy all day.

MerlinHoly shit, I'm getting some today. Let's see if they got it on Prime.

MaxI really so this multi-green one it's I mean it's just like a weird sort of Asian-ish flavor profile that I like it's like a little funky like a miso and

Merlinvinegary it's got the you can

Maxtaste the fermentation oh big time you got it also says I mean it's a regular genocide of microorganisms

Merlinit says shit dog they're all over the prime dude it says the multi-green 16 ounce on boom

MaxIt says right here, it says probiotics, bascoids, coagulins, GBI 306086, and then in parentheses, one billion organisms. And that's the beginning of the list. Then it goes S. boulardii, one billion organisms. Prophenols.

MerlinIt's living. It's living. Did you rejoice?

MaxMm-hmm.

AlexThis is definitely ripped off of a Dr. Bronner's bottle. That's what this looks like. Rejoice, rejoice.

MaxIt's great because you get something to read, too.

MerlinIt's a little novel. Yeah, that's nice. Okay, so let's see. I can get Multigreen. I can get Gingerade. They have Synergy Trilogy. I'll try that one. Gingerberry. Raspberry. It does claim that love is the number one ingredient, which does not sound like a claim

Maxthat's been evaluated by the FDA. But I think we're getting rid of the FDA, so fuck them.

MerlinI heard the EPA's going today. so long and thanks for nothing asshole stupid EPA the environment's overrated what's it done for me lately how come it's so dead

AlexI'm hoping that like somehow when everything dissolves opiates will be readily available so we can just go off into the sweet nightmare with a bunch of Vicodin and it'll all be done that got dark

Merlinno problem 80% of the world's opioids It's coming to America.

AlexYeah. Merlin, does this have, I know you are not in, like, would you call yourself a suburb guy?

MaxWell, we can't, we don't want to disclose.

AlexRight, right, right. So perhaps maybe you live in a suburb.

MerlinNo, but I mean, it's a very, as San Francisco goes, it's very suburb-y. It's almost a bedroom community.

AlexDo you have a lot of young white men becoming addicted to heroin in your area?

MerlinNo. No, we don't. And I have to admit, I have been I thought this was just the kind of thing that like 2020 makes up like. But apparently it's a real thing. It is a blight and has a huge impact on why the Republican candidate won.

AlexIt's really sad and scary and weird. What? The painkillers?

MerlinNo, no, no. Hero. Like, well, that opioid opioid problems are just like killing communities all over America. Like so many of the states that went Trump, somebody in that family is suffering from opioids and feeling like they're not getting helped. It's a huge, huge problem.

MaxI'm really interested in getting my hands on some of this Captagon, which is the like – Captagon. It's the like fentanyl and like meth hybrid that ISIS takes. Oh. So if anyone –

MerlinOh, so kind of smooths it out a little bit.

MaxListen, if any of our listeners have a line on some Captagon and you can hook me up, just email me at alexatcardsandexhumanity.com.

MerlinI had having my wife mule me some Claritins. Now that I've up my powders on Claritins. So two nights ago, I tore the top off the box, a paperclip $40 to it, and handed it to my wife. I said, do this. Go in there and ask for this. Oh, you sent a mule in. She's muleing. But see, I'm just worried they're going to corroborate the data. Because I've heard they'll send people to your house, is what I heard. She's a smurf. That's what we call it in the business. Is she cold smurfing for me?

MaxShe's your bottom smurf. She smurfs my powders.

All right, challenge. All right, challenge time.

MerlinThis week's challenge comes to us from Max, who is, as you all know, a terrible human being. Merlin, could you describe the challenge before we open these boxes, please? Jesus, fuck. The challenge this week started with Max, who never prepares. By the way, sorry I was late today, guys. Max pulls something out of his ass before he has to go run and go play another card game. Max's challenge this week involved we have to go up and go out and sign up for the service called Yo.

MaxAnd there's another component.

MerlinAnd then there's another component, as you say, to this, which is Max has sent us a mystery box. All right, Merlin, please proceed to open your box. Are we going to talk at all about our experience with Yo first? No, no. The Yo has nothing to do. Leave that aside for now.

MaxOh, wait a minute. Did you just cuck me? You got cucked.

Speaker AI think we were. Yeah, yeah.

MaxThe Yo will come into play, but first you need to know what this thing is. So open yours, and then I'm going to give it to Alex in just a minute. I'm going to slide it over.

MerlinI received a box. It says it has time-sensitive material. It's about the size of a Seth Godin book. and I'm using my special police tactical knife that I use to open things.

AlexOh, what a nice sound.

MerlinOh, this is a nice tactical knife. I'm cutting, I'm cutting.

MaxAll right, Alex. Here you go. Alex has got hers going.

AlexWhat the fuck is this?

MerlinOh, no.

AlexOh, no.

MerlinIt's a dongle. Oh, is it a dongle? oh no this is gonna be bad it's oh no it's got a watch oh no oh god what is this

Maxokay my friends welcome to the world welcome to the world of tomorrow this is a connected smart device you wear it on your wrist and it administers an electrical shock to you when it receives a notification from if this is let me tell you let me tell you this is the future Now, you turn the lights on. You want to hook this guy up? You turn the lights on, it'll shock your wrist. Now, the product is called the Pavlok, named after Pavlov, obviously.

MerlinAnd you're supposed to cut holes in dogs' faces. Oh, and this is nice. It looks like a Fitbit, except it's got a Harry Potter scar on it.

MaxAnd you're supposed to.

MerlinWell, that's because that's where it administers the dark. Oh, that's where the shock comes from. That's clever. Oh, this is great, Max. It looks like a tiny cigarette lighter you put into a Fitbit with a Harry Potter scar.

MaxSo now we're going to have to set this. So this is going to be either really funny or really boring. Because what I want to do is configure these and then have it so that we can shock each other as we record. Okay, I'm totally in.

MerlinOh, it has a legend for the zap strength. Yellow LED, red LED. So instead of sending somebody a heartbeat, you send them some momentary pain. Oh, that's nice. What is Pavlok? Pavlok is a wearable device that helps users break bad habits. Who's going to shock themselves first? You can just push the thing and it'll shock you. oh it uses classical classical conditioning uh techniques oh ah okay is it hurt uh i mean it

Alexfeels like you've been electrocuted a little bit okay so wait did you guys already read the instructions hello oh jesus christ i'm just pushing it all right i'm gonna push it and it's

Maxgonna oh my god i'm a little scared here we go ow fuck it's not that bad it's like a sting it

Alexstings yeah it's you've never been have you ever been seriously electrocuted oh oh yeah i've like

Maxgotten a yeah one time when i was younger i built a i built a device where i could where i plugged it into the outlet and then i had the two cords go into nails and i had the nails on either end of a dill pickle and the pickle lights up like a christmas tree it's it's kind of right it's kind of beautiful but i did electrocute myself and like short out the house so i believe there's an app, Pavlock.

MerlinCharging quick start. Oh, great. I have something new to charge. Let's see. Quick start process. Did you get the app? Oh, I got to get the app. So I think you get the

Maxapp and you make an account and then we can authenticate with it and then we can make our rules. So here's an example of a rule you can do. Okay. You can say, if I spend more than one hour on Twitter per day according to Rescue Time, shock me. Okay.

MerlinOkay. Don't you love that? This is the life. This is the life that I've chosen. Hey, honey, how was your day? Mine was good. I was on a podcast where I

Alexhad to be shocked. Oh, I won't stop. I'm afraid to. It seems that some people put it on the inside of their wrist. Well, if it's going to work, it's got to be extremely unpleasant.

MerlinYou should start by going to 1Password. Make your login in 1Password. That's what I'm doing because it doesn't have integration. Boo Pavlok. Which one are you

Maxdoing alex i'm gonna do are you gonna do 4e or 1b uh i i'm not even i'm not even there yet okay

Alexi think this is good radio glad to have you on board connect your device

Maxum i did 1b so do the other one it's not pairing i am paired did you have to connect to it somehow through your bluetooth

Alexno i did not actually and now it's installing an update the best revenge is massive success Frank Sinatra is the quote that is on the bottom as it's updating

Merlinoffers in app purchases this

Alexoh this has been used on someone's genitals like this has gotta be that's the first thing I thought of

Speaker Aoh that's delightful

Alexyeah at least it's not maybe now I want the rock Merlin I thought that Max was going to give us this really stupid meditation stone. Maybe it's not stupid. Maybe it's a nice thing. It's called the Spire. Have you heard of this? No. And it's this little stone you put in your pants and it reminds you to meditate.

MerlinYou put a stone in your pants. Yeah. Pair later. Try again.

MaxI couldn't get it to pair either. Maybe it's like too low. I think you need to plug it in.

AlexGlad to have you on board. It has to be plugged in while it pairs? No, devices cannot pair while charging. What?

MerlinWhat is this? Okay, so now they're saying un-pair and try again. Okay. This is the future. This is amazing.

AlexAh, okay. Don't hold it in your hand and hit it.

MerlinIs there anything you need to hit on the dingus to make it pair? I guess I could just read the instructions.

MaxWell, I'm scared to hit it because it'll shock me.

MerlinZap yourself when you're doing a habit. After a week, you should start feeling an aversion to your bad habit.

MaxThat checks out.

MerlinYou should be more aware and feel the urge to do it less and less.

Speaker AUgh, God, this is gruesome. Oh, my God, this fucking...

MerlinUgh! It's got... It wants to know... It's got fucking screens you've got to get through. You've got to pair it. Can't pair it? Oh, keep going. Do you want to talk about terms of service? Okay, fine. Turn the story. How did you learn about us? Other. How other? Really? My sociopath friend. And now I'm in this shit show. It sends it to me. Enable push notification. God damn it. Oh, it wants to send you notifications. Allow. What, you want my contacts too?

I don't want to be fucked. I just hope this doesn't have to show up on a form in an emergency room at some point.

AlexWell, it's, so I'm looking at the waiver and release of liability. Check with your health care provider before using power block if you have.

MerlinMr. Man, I just had a couple quick questions for you with regard to your condition.

AlexIs anyone pregnant? I hope not. Well. Avoid water at what locations? I would assume.

MaxAm I right? I am in the fucking matrix. I am paired. I am strapped in. I am on if-ta-ta-ta. Here we go. So as part of this challenge that we're going to send bloops to each other. Well, so now I've just added it to if-ta-ta-ta. So here we go. So some of the things you can do are crazy on this. If I get an email from an important person, zap me. What kind of a crazy...

MerlinIt seems kind of like a spanking thing. I mean, this seems kind of like... I mean, no, not in a bad way, but like, you know, oh, you know, I got a habit I need to break and I'm very bad.

Maxmy cat has this thing where um if she is extremely hungry and cranky and we're and i have not given her food she finds some like exposed brick in the house and um goes up to the brick and like licks it pathetically and i oh no it's so sad and you got a pika cat what's that you got a pika cat yeah i've got a she licks the bricks it's really sad and pathetic and as soon as i see her doing it i'm like stop that and i give her food immediately and now i'm not i think she's

like an operant conditioning thing where she's learned to lick the bricks and she's like this is how i just get the food if all else fails and like you know weaving between your legs and meowing doesn't get me food i'll just start licking the bricks and you all take pity and give it to me so i mean this is basically making yourself lick the bricks oh shoot i got

Merlinit set at 100 oh no okay wait it's not two so two reds how do i do this oh this is a nice piece of designed to adjust the zap strength lightly double tap but don't press the lightning bolt you will

Alexsee some leds corresponding to the new zap strength yep yep you do oh ah okay it won't stop i'm it's i can't make my zap strength change am i pressing no no no it's a tap not a press well i'm tapping very very lightly um i don't want two red lights uh oh i'm a i'm i'm all in I've got the two red lights.

MerlinI don't know if I can take that. I'm 50, you guys.

MaxThis is good. It's going to zap. It's going to, this is like a youth, you know, powder.

AlexMerlin, I guarantee that you're in better shape than both of us.

MerlinThank you. I do what I can. New applet. If, oh, I probably need to connect. Refocus on high priority tasks by zapping me every 30 minutes. What? If I get an email from an important person, zap me. What? If I don't hit my goals on my Fitbit for steps, zap me. notify me when my Android phone's battery is low.

MaxAll right, I'm going to guide you through the creation of the first...

Speaker AOh, Jesus Christ! Oh, fuck me gently. Jesus, this sucks.

MerlinStop doing it. I just want to turn it...

MaxOh, my God. All smart home devices should have this kind of, you know. This sucks, Max. Haptic feedback mechanism.

AlexI love how the button in the app says, let's do this. You can connect it to Slack? No.

MaxOh, my God.

AlexNo.

MaxYes.

AlexOh, I need to repair.

MerlinIf I sleep over eight hours, zap me. Give me a fuck. If I'm near my favorite fast food restaurant, beep my Pavlok loudly.

AlexWhat?

MerlinIf someone posts an issue on GitHub, vibrate me. Okay. Beep. Zap. 30%. Ah. Okay.

MaxWhy is it doing this? It makes me very nervous when it starts buzzing. Vibration. 50%.

MerlinOh, I like the vibration. Oh. Oh, my. Oh, okay. Multi-zap. Oh, you can multi-zap. Double tap. Hand detection. Well, this is going to be fun. So now my third device that I wear on my wrist will be something that electrocutes me occasionally. I mean, really, they're all devices that could electrocute you occasionally. That's a really good point. You know I'm rolling cruise. I'm rolling a cruise. I've got an Apple Watch and a Fitbit.

MaxAll right, here we go. I'm suiting up. Having a lot of – oh, wait. I'm going to update the firmware. Meat moop.

MerlinOh, firmware update, 2496. Men like you can never change 2.496

AlexMax, do you understand that reference?

MerlinOh, you're gonna. I'm so fucking sick of your ugly, ugly challenges. No, that's from Lin-Manus. I'm gonna start putting the list together, Alex.

AlexOoh.

MerlinAnother day, another destiny. This never-ending road to Calvary. These men who seem to know my crime will surely come a second time one day more.

MaxSo I want to make it so that when we yo each other, it shocks you.

MerlinOh, sure. Okay. All right. All right. So, you know, I'm going to try and get excited about yo.

AlexWhy? Don't.

MaxAll I wanted for yo was to use it for this because I know you can just message. It just sends a push notification to someone with one button. That's all I wanted.

Speaker AAll right.

MaxJust yo.co. I'm in the matrix. Here we go. I'm connected. Pavlok, zap. If yo is received. You can have different zap intensities for different infractions.

AlexOh, boy. Why do you want to be zapped?

MerlinYo from Link. Okay. If yo is received, if Fanny boss 69, then zap. Oh, and then I can receive notifications when it runs. Hooray.

Is this going to be instant?

MaxI just shocked you did it go? it's not funny if it's not instant

Merlinmhm

Maxsee this is the god damn fucking problem I set all this stuff up and it doesn't work why doesn't it ever work?

Merlinnever works am I right? just yo

Maxit's like

Merlinyou can't do it on there

Maxyou know Merlin it's like updating the firmware installing the drivers configuring the settings that is not the real work the real work is shocking your friends

Merlinyep agreed

Maxsee what's gonna happen is i just yo'd you three oh so i'm just gonna randomly just start getting did you yo me yes i'm just gonna so but it didn't shock me so now i know that sometimes now i'm nervous now my heart is beating because i know that sometime in the future for no discernible reason i'm gonna be going about my business i'm gonna get a shock how about this you ever get

Merlinthis one you're walking around you're enjoying your day you're having like a pretty b plus day and suddenly... Ow!

Ow!

MerlinOh, sorry, man. My bad. And then suddenly Overcast pauses for just a second and there's silence and you go, because you know there's a call that's about to ring.

Speaker AYeah.

MerlinYou get that? Yeah.

Speaker ALike, why did Overcast stop? No! Yeah.

MaxMm-hmm. All right. Why would you do that to me, Merlin?

MerlinOkay, I think I got it all set up.

MaxOh, my. I can see that you're skin...

Speaker AWhat?

MaxMerlin is just mashing the button. No, I'm not. I'm just doing the challenge. Oh, my God. Okay. I'm taking this off.

Speaker AI can't. This has got to stop.

MaxYo. I'm taking this off. Okay.

Speaker AYo. Too much.

MaxYo.

Speaker AOh, my God.

MaxHe sent me ten yo's. Yo. Yo. The human body can only withstand so much. Yo.

AlexSo there's 12 cued. So at some point I'm just going to get like good minutes. All right. Stop. This is going to stop.

MerlinOh, sorry, Max. I just got a couple more things for my work.

MaxLet's see here. Stop. Yo. Yo.

MerlinYo.

MaxWhy must you break the system? Why? Okay. I don't want to be shocked 12 times.

Speaker AI don't deserve this. I mean, well, I don't know about that.

MerlinOkay, let's go see what else this can do. so it seems like let's see what are some other really good ones okay so let's go look at can you say whenever I look at Max's twitter list

Maxhow would it know

Merlinhow do it know

MaxI'm going to get shocked 12 times

Merlinah you're good

Maxyou're good

Merlinow

Speaker Athere's two of them it hurts I should probably put mine on Oh god now there's 17

MerlinOh hang on I'm sorry hang on let me get this Stop Is it hard to take off

Speaker AYou've been a very naughty game maker

MaxI have 14 yo's

AlexThere's 20 This is a good challenge Max

Maxokay ow ow okay oh okay twitter how do i use this how do i use here's what i want how do i get a shock every time i read twitter for more than like five minutes can all of our smart technology all of our you know smart computer brains figure out how to do that i want to try and use this thing to improve my life.

AlexJesus.

MaxLet's probably,

Alexlet's start with Yo. Now, now Yo has locked me out of my, why? Oh no. What's my,

do you know my Merlin, my username Merlin?

MerlinOh. On Yo. No,

Alexno, no, no,

Merlinno, is it, well, I see you here as Alexandra C, but I don't want to click on it because I'll hurt you.

AlexYou already have. You've sent 20. It's your challenge. Oh.

MaxHow do I use this? Oh, here we go. How do I use this to reduce? I'm reading Twitter right now. I'm not even listening to you. How do I use this to reduce the amount of time that I read Twitter? Is that the biggest problem in my life?

MerlinYes. Okay. Listen, go to iftita.com slash Pavlok. I'm there. Okay. Okay. Okay. And then scroll to the bottom. Okay. And slightly grayed out Pavlok triggers and actions.

MaxHello. Triggers. There are no triggers for this service.

MerlinRight. So I guess it's going to come down to what Twitter or something else will let you do. Let's see what Twitter allows. I don't think it's going to report on your reading is the thing.

MaxMerlin, you're a productivity guru. Why can't you solve this for me?

MerlinOh, you know, I don't know. Well, see, it looks like all the triggers here are like new tweet by you. Oh, here's a good one. New tweet by anyone in the area. I'm sad. shock me every time anyone in the office tweets uh oh you can have an update your bio for you that's cool i didn't know that i that's for me that's a that's an artisanal small batch process i'm all about my bio all right i'm just gonna do the one where if i tweet it shocks me okay did you learn about this from peter sagel max from peter sagel what

on pavlock.com the press can't stop talking about pavlock anyone looking for a little extra motivation to get in shape throw away your personal trainer and buy a pavlock peter segal npr uh steven colbert oh steve harvey from family feud

Maxwhy is he on the website

MerlinYou know, sometimes people ask you for a quote. I get that. I do that. I'll do a pull quote for somebody.

AlexWhat sort of pull quotes have you done?

MerlinI think I'm on, I'm probably, God, what was that website that went away or the mail site, away time? I gave a nice one to Drafts recently. I don't know if you put it on the website.

AlexPavlok results from real users.

MerlinYeah, heavy on the testimonials.

Maxif a new tweet by at max pumpkin then zap finish oh no really why do you i'm trying to tweet less

Merlinoh here we go i'm on the drafts page easily one of the best ios apps i've ever used merlin man that's a good app it is i wrote a longer one and i said use just feel that's what i'll do is i'll write like a paragraph and just say grab any part of this you know that you'd like to use Let's see, what else have I got here? Oh, Brenda wants to post on my website. She works in... My name is Brenda Hills. I work in Template Monster Company. Our team created a special offer for young developers and everyone who wants to start online business.

I'm the manager of the project, Launcher Web Design Studio in 61 days. It's a free marathon with restricted participation for people who are striving for new horizons, dreams of their own business connected with web design development. We would like to ask you about posting an article or a review about us in our marathon on your website. It can be guest post or post of any format, which will be appropriate and useful. Looking forward for getting an answer from you. Best wishes, Brenda Hills.

AlexI don't know what any of these words mean. Ha ha ha ha ha... Ha ha ha ha...

let's all check our heart rates right now um i my heart rate is always way higher than i would like uh uh because i i have a feeling this a pavlock isn't uh really targeted okay 36 beats per minute i i think that seems a little low i think i might need a new apple watch oh boy

Merlin89 which is about about average for me this might my scale my wi-fi scale always has me over 100 but my watch is a little more gentle. Well, let's see what Fitbit says. What do you think, Fitbit?

Speaker AYou should really stress out, Loss. What's your problem, dude?

MerlinYeah, I hear you, brother.

Speaker AYou're 89 right now, and that's a fat burn.

MerlinYeah, that is a fat burn, buddy.

Speaker AYeah, why you got two of us?

MerlinI don't know, man. I got two wrists. Might as well have two watches.

AlexYeah, that's cool. I am at 116. Jiminy Cricket. Oh, yeah. Well, well, this boy, your age, that's pretty hot. This this I feel like I'm going to die and throw up right now.

MaxAre you the electrical shock bother you that much?

AlexOh, man. Well, I keep I've been shocked now. Twenty. I'm sorry.

MerlinI should probably say a few more.

AlexOh, it's getting faster.

MaxIt's very it's a Merlin. It's really learning. Please stop. It's really unpleasant.

MerlinI should put this thing on. Probably see what this feels like. that's a good challenge max it's it's i work in template monster company how do i i'm trying to

Alexturn it down a bit because i it's not this is the thing you got to tap on the harry potter scar

Merlinyeah it's very confusing and it goes oh did you want to have a shock instead no no ti-vo turn off shock ti-vo you said you like horses my habit not a habit Okay, so I'm ordering three kombuchas. What else should I do? Are you doing the green teas?

So I'm going multi-green, multi-pass, gingerade, and I'm trying Synergy Trilogy. You got to top it off. You got to top off that. I got to do a top or should I get flowers? Top off that cart.

MaxGet some flowers for your wife.

MerlinAll right, let me look.

MaxOr I don't know, your wife, if you had one. I love you. Here's my advice is don't have her listen to this podcast where you say that it's a top off.

MerlinThere's no concern there. Don't worry.

MaxWell, you're going to have to make her listen because she's going to be like, why are you getting electrocuted? Happy Valentine's Day.

AlexI can't believe Veronica listens to this show.

MerlinI can't either. Hi, Veronica. Hi. I'm so sorry about everything. All right. Prime now. Now, okay. Now, do you think you would ever have a reason to want to use this? for anything real.

AlexI guess if I was a smoker, maybe. I'm looking at what...

MerlinBut then you'd have to shock yourself when you smoked.

AlexWell, yeah, that's the point. Right. Well, I feel like Max has actually created a great life hack, and so if I could give it to my significant other, and it's like, okay, if you see me smoking, send me a little zap. Because I feel like there's a lot of these things like, oh you eat a snack zap yourself and i'm not gonna do oh fuck it got me for tweeting i just tweeted

Merlinand it got me oh shit oh was that merlin no oh i don't know oh no there it is i got a new device ow how about when i send replies to you could you set one up for that

Maxum challenge i could i mean you can do that yes we should make it so every time we tweeted each other it shocks you like if i tweet him rolling it shocks him no sign up for that oh my god this

Merlinis so amazing oh your studio looks nice um yeah i mean we talked about this during our cat sit episode but i remember hearing a long time ago that when you're trying to train a cat it's very important that the cat not think it's you that's doing it hence things like surprising it with a spray bottle and then trying to play it off legit and i think that's i mean And I don't know.

It's a little like New Year's resolutions where if I bought a device that made me get – I had to give myself a shock every time I smoked. I mean, how's that any different from – the electronic stuff, I see how that would be useful. Maybe something like I texted my ex when I was drunk. Give me a shock because apparently that's a thing people do.

Alexum a while ago google had this really uh great thing where if if you tried to send an email after 1 a.m you had to do a simple arithmetic problem that was is that real that wasn't april fools that was a real no it was a real thing and oh what's it called google labs or whatever um

Maxyeah back when google was fun yeah oh all right um now here's one application for this that i've thought of so you know we've talked a lot of on this podcast about the issue of time theft in our office and that i feel like it's happening right under my nose and i know we're alex you know we're you and i were thinking of our about our new startup office you got time to lean you got time to mop jizz that's absolutely right i mean that's basically the motto of office hagrid time to lean time to clean and we're gonna find the people with time to lean uh you know this is the

gig economy in a nutshell is there's lots of people and they've got too much time to lean Now, what do we have?

Speaker AAnd they take too much for granted.

MerlinWhat do we have? Time to clean. They take too much. They take everything for granted. That's absolutely. 15 times, Max Temkin was all of us.

MaxThat's absolutely right. Now, how do we know that once they get here? Now, these are people, let's be honest, they love to lean.

Speaker AHow do we know when they get here?

MaxHow do we know when they get here that there's not going to be any leaning? I think that they have one of these Pavlok devices on. Every office Hagrid comes equipped with a Pavlok. If you're not happy, you come in in the morning, there's still jizz on the floor, just send them a little shock.

MerlinOr if you're just leaning too much, maybe you get someone with an accelerometer, and if you're just even slightly off axis. Ah! Okay, this is...

MaxThe yo's... Can you stop? The yo's have to stop. Was that for the purpose of some joke? Hmm? I didn't do it. I did it a long time ago. Oh, I'm still getting them. They're still coming through.

AlexMerlin, are you wearing it yet?

MerlinOh, it's right here. I'm going to put that on probably a little later. Have you shocked yourself yet? Oh, I've been shocked like four times. It sucks. Yeah, it's really bad. It's really bad.

AlexI see the light going on.

MerlinNice try.

AlexI turned it up all the way because I thought I wanted to know the worst of it, but now I don't know how to turn it down.

MerlinGo to the app.

AlexYeah, it's what a wonderfully designed app. It's not that bad.

MerlinYou know what? It is an interesting idea. It seems a little bit like a gag gift. They seem to be taking it seriously, and because they're leaning so heavily on—I don't mean to be serious, but because they're leaning—

MaxI'm sorry. Why do you say it's a gag? Because if you—I mean, there's—look at all the research that they're showing. I mean, this is rock solid. I haven't read any of it, but there's—I mean, look at all the stuff they've posted.

AlexI mean, there's no way to argue with that.

MaxI mean, in terms of conditioning and whatnot.

AlexThere's some case studies. Yeah. I mean, look at this.

MerlinI mean, I haven't looked at any of it. You know what? I'm sorry. I apologize. I have not read the literature. I should go in and look. I do apologize. Pav It's too bad you can't buzz Peter Segal

AlexThis was an Indiegogo project I'm sure that it was Oh and it's on Amazon Launchpad Okay

MaxI tried to order it on Amazon and it didn't work

AlexNo Amazon Launchpad is the thing that's That's like their eSharkTank Yeah exactly Lori I got you a pink shocker Oh, they have them. Tasha, after one day, I stopped eating refined sugar. Whenever I had a craving, Pavlok Zab helped me get over it, and now I'm sugar-free.

MerlinOh, my goodness.

AlexOkay.

MerlinSteve Harvey likes it.

AlexReally? Oh.

MerlinSteve Harvey says, Tony Robbins and I shared some tips for keeping your New Year's resolutions. If you wanted to take more drastic measures, here's a new product for you to consider. Go to Pavlok.com. That sounds like something he just more said in passing, that it sounds like he might have said that like when he's just trying to brag about being buds

Alexwith Tony Robbins no no Merlin there is a uh segment on his show Pavlov bracelet on the did I tell you I I attended a Steve Harvey taping you did that's for a whole nother whole nother episode you get real real peek behind the Harvey curtain oh wow um this is I I'm finding this I'm I feel like maybe I feel like I'm being too mean, but like looking through the app, I'm starting to take it more seriously. And it's the shocking does.

That seems like the gimmick, but I see what they're trying to do with the vibrations.

MerlinAnd wait a minute. Wait a minute. Tell me more about hand detection. Are you seeing this? No.

AlexWhere's that?

MerlinWell, and it's Fs and Bs. It's got a section on hand detection. I noticed that in the app. Let's see how this works. Dig it, dig it, dig it. Follow up. Yeah.

MaxEasy D. Oh, yep. The tweet from last week. Yes. Yeah. In the podcast before I got there, you had Kara come on and explain that it stood for easy defense. It does not stand for easy defense. It stands for easy decision. That's how the president of the United States meant it.

See, that was bad on us. Yeah. What he meant, I'm serious. What he meant to say was easy decision.

AlexI think he's the first person to ever say that. Well, because we assumed it meant like defending the border. You know what I mean.

MerlinSave it for the hunt.

Speaker AEasy D.

MerlinIf you have repetitive thoughts and actions, sometimes it can be hard to resist the urge to think about something or perform a behavior. Depending on the habit, the following POW block features can help. Well, they have the behavior-specific course. You double-tap to change button strength and then have an auto-zapper that automatically zaps you at specified intervals. And then you won't have repetitive thoughts.

Speaker ASee?

MaxThis is something Harrison Bergeron. There's a rich medical history of shocking people who have obsessive-compulsive disorder until they say they don't have it anymore.

AlexYeah, shock the gay-o.

MaxI mean, can't argue with the results. Can't argue with the results.

MerlinOkay. I'll leave it at that. Let's just, guys, it's time to talk about science. here's how hand detection works if you raise your hand it zaps you so if you want to stop picking your nose, pulling your hair smoking a butt, you just set it so that every time you literally raise your hand it shocks you well I mean well that's science right there

Maxnow this works for me because as you know I'm a very lazy person so really the only time that my hand would get raised for any reason above keyboard level would be if I'm going to put something in my mouth

AlexOh, interesting.

MerlinMake a run for the border. Uncontrollable body-based behaviors. What? Sometimes we form habits that involve a part of our body. Hair pulling, nail biting, skin picking, et cetera. Use the following features to help. So basically, it's just all the same. You pick how much you want to be zapped, tell it to do it to you frequently, and then when you raise your hand to do literally anything, it zaps you.

This is hilarious.

AlexThis doesn't make bull. And how does this even apply? Like, okay, you don't, if I don't hit my goal on my Fitbit, I'm just going to get a random zap at the end of the day, and my brain is not going to associate it with anything.

MerlinWell, you ever use a chip and pin card? I mean, maybe this is just me and John Gruber, but you go and you use your chip and pin card. I would much rather use Apple Pay. Many places I am still the first person, hand to God, in the city of San Francisco, I'm still frequently the first person that this cashier has ever seen not just use but wear an Apple Watch. Staggering. Like, the adoption is just shit. but in some places yes but the thing is you go and you do your chip and pin you ever do this you go oh it's the bits you gotta do the chip and you put the chip in and you know what happens if the

Speaker Atransaction is successful like who who came up with that and that's kind of what this feels like

Maxyeah yeah i've almost never had the chip reader work like almost no no it just always has a

Merlinpermanent sign on it or they have some piece of tape over it yeah when i go into it when i go into

Maxa place when i was in that i went to crate and barrel the other day and you know i was buying like a bunch of plates or something and i wanted to use this my new credit card that has the chip in it and they had the reader but they had a piece of like like packing tape over it and they wrote with like a pen like do not use and i was like i feel like this thing should work because it's got the reader built right into it and i feel like someone's getting fucked here if there's the tape over it and they don't want me to use it well then i start thinking well why well you got the

Merlinreasons right that's interesting that's super interesting i think i might be getting fucked well it's weird because i go into these places and of course i'm fucking that guy every time i go to target i i i have to admit i kind of know they're gonna say no but i still want i still want to ask because i want it to come up if it ever comes up at the staff meeting where they sit in the corral and they're smoking their cigarettes. Anybody here ever ask about Apple Pay? He goes, yeah, just all the time. Oh, maybe that's something we should look at.

AlexOh, I do that too, and I feel like such an ass. I'm so glad. Thank you for sharing, Merlin.

MerlinOh, no, but here's the thing. It's like they go, oh, yeah, that's really cute. I'm like, oh, you want to see cute? Bip, bang, boop, we're done. Like, no coupons, no scanning, no waiting, no uploading, and it's completely up to the vendor if they want to fuck with it and make it so you have to sign and shit like that. That's all the vendor trying to, I guess, reduce liability. but that's not it doesn't need to be that it's a sir it is generating a new crc code every time this is extremely secure just fucking use this everywhere it's so bananas you know what you

Maxshould all right let me get let me let me take it and turn it i'm gonna take it and turn i'm rolling here's what somebody's getting fucked so you're gonna go back to the grocery store or the target or wherever it is right you're gonna go up to the cashier you're gonna say i'm gonna i'm about to ask you a question about whether you take apple pay but first put on this bracelet because let me tell you i'm reading some of the science in this little booklet about operant conditioning and i think that if the cashiers got a shock every time they had to say that they don't take apple pay the problem would you know let's just say it would work itself out and it's and

Merlinit really it is it is scalable and when they object you say listen i can't tell you why all i can tell you is that i'm helping you i'm a productivity guru perhaps you've heard of my Website and podcast.

Shock myself. Fuck.

This is a great challenge. Yeah, so I'm going to implement this. I probably should put this thing on.

MaxOkay, so now, Alex, it's your challenge next week. To me, it's up to you, but I think we should have a challenge involving these Pavloks. Oh, my God. To wear it for a week and charge it every night. Don't cuck Alex.

AlexLet her have her challenge. Well, hmm.

Speaker AMonsieur Le Maire, you wear a different chain.

AlexI'm wondering. See, now Merlin, we have the power to shock Max at will.

MerlinOh, we can make him watch Les Mis and shock him?

MaxCould we set up some sort of thing where it's like a riff tracks, but every time you see Russell Crowe in Les Mis, it shocks you? And you have to sink it. It's like Dark Side of the Moon. You have to sink it right when the record starts. They will wet themselves with ow, ow, ow.

Oh, he's so good in that, Max. You're going to love him in that. I did not watch that movie because if following, listen, we talked about this a few weeks ago, but you know sometimes you see a trailer for a movie and it looks like garbage? Why are you being shocked? I don't know. I don't know. It's not me. It's just happening. Merlin, are you sending more of these things? No. Stop.

AlexThis is just my life now. I'm not.

Speaker AI didn't do it. My phone's not even on. I mean, do not disturb.

AlexI think it's because I shook my wrist, and then it just.

MerlinOh, you know what? You probably raised your hand.

AlexI did. I think you're going to masturbate. You know what? I do wish that there was like Postmates integration, and it's like, okay, if I've enjoyed some evening herbs and I'm ordering something from Postmates at 2 a.m. Shock me because that's not a good behavior.

MerlinYou're just like Mojo the helper monkey. You just gamely lift your hand up in the air and just move it side to side a little bit. We will deliver you Deep Dish Chicago pizza. Would you like Arby's? I just shocked you for making fun of Deep Dish.

Hey, that's a spicy meatball. Oh, I see it blinking over here by my coffee. I should put this thing on. What is the challenge for next week?

AlexI forgot it was. I'm going to, you know what? I'm going to,

Maxsince I didn't really do a challenge, here's the challenge.

AlexI think we've got to break.

MaxEveryone's got to program this Pavlok and use it for one week.

AlexNo, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. All right. I'm going to say that the challenge this week then is, is to watch the most recent Les Mis adaptation with Russell Crowe, Hugh Jackman, and Anne Hathaway.

Speaker AI saw the trailer for this.

MaxAnd they all looked wet the whole time. And I was like, I don't want to see these wet people. So guess what? I didn't fucking watch the movie.

Speaker AAnd now I am so covered in moisture. So, yeah. Tomorrow I'll be wet again. And yet with you, I still am wet.

I'm still wet from the storm. I cannot wait. This is so great.

MaxI've got an excuse to watch Les Mis again. I don't get these references.

Speaker AYou will. I fight with you. Oh my God, you're going to be singing along, Max. Just wait.

AlexJust you wait.

15. Defending the Border

Show notes

Transcript

15. Defending the Border

Show notes

Transcript

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