457. Strathspeys and Jigs

MerlinGood morning, Alex Cox. Hello. Good morning. How are you? Good. You seem well. I am well. It's early here. Yes. I'm very excited. Okay. Yeah. Is that something our listeners should know about? I think so. I hope they're excited. It's a great way to start the show. Why don't you go ahead and introduce the time?

Alexhi everybody it's 8 38 a.m pacific and 10 38 a.m central the way that every classic podcast episode begins by telling you what time it is i do sometimes kind of would like a genre of show that just pulls you to a different place a genre show that starts on time yeah i'd like a genre of show that starts the day, the time, and a day.

MerlinWell, we can't ask for everything, can we?

AlexWe can try, I think, you know. What's your favorite thing to ask for?

MerlinIn what sense?

AlexDon't think. No, don't think. First thought, best thought.

MerlinAbout what? My first thing to ask for about what? About anything. A glass of water.

AlexThat's such a good answer, Icer Nois.

MerlinWhat the fuck are you talking about? What is the question you're asking me? Is this a bit? What is this? Are you coming in with bits? You're eight minutes late and you have bits?

AlexNo.

MerlinYou're 22 hours late and you have bits?

AlexI was going to say, eight minutes is such a generous time.

MerlinNo, but this is now, we finally, now we're really getting our teeth into it. Okay. What do you ask for? What does that mean, Alex? Is this something you've been thinking about?

AlexOh, absolutely. Are you kidding? especially like i made fun of you about how um i had never heard the term ask used as a noun and but boy oh boy is it ever around oh yeah so i just keep thinking yeah what is my ask what what what is my ask and what does that have to do with what we're doing now oh because you said you can't ask for everything and i disagreed and i was wondering what if you What's your ask?

What's your first ask? What's your priority ask?

MerlinI would like to think that I rarely ask for a quote, everything, unquote. Not all at once. That's just not practical. Oh, man. Okay. I'll write it down. It's going to be one of those episodes. I don't know. It's difficult to say. It's very contextual. It's a fascinating question. Alex, what do you like, apart from everything, what do you like to ask for?

AlexA diet cherry Coke.

Merlinwith ice. Why don't you just buy some of those?

AlexThey're very hard to find. Yeah, that's why I ask. Don't people your age love

Merlinwaiting in line for things? Isn't that part of your USP?

AlexPeople my age... People my age loved that about a decade ago, I think.

MerlinBut now you're 10 years older and you seem to still like it, a lot of you.

AlexNo. I don't think so, but I am I'm hopefully not a caricature. What would you like to talk about today, Alex?

MerlinYou want to talk more about your asks?

AlexOh, I mean, I'm excited to talk about the challenge.

MerlinAccording to Beacon Rewind, she said something, because I am interested in how we take apart a speech and then adapt it, sometimes in an interesting way, to be a different part of speech. And I'm not going to track this down, but something Beacon Rewind said in a video, it was about Hitchcock blondes. Oh. and which is i've watched before but i just re-watched um and i mean like he's even i think used that term the way that he uses blonde actresses in his movies and um but was she

said something along the lines of there was wasn't until the 30s or 40s maybe that up till then blonde had only ever been used as an adjective and it was in that time that we first started using blonde as a noun and i thought that was interesting huh i mean i'd never put it together that that probably started it i mean i never really sat down and thought about it i was like huh i guess that

Alexmakes sense it oh it's it has a less wholesome beginning than i would have thought i suppose i didn't describe the color of an actor's hair um i didn't know that hitchcock himself used the term like those are those are my blondes it feels like only trudy caboti that's not how he said it he

Merlindidn't use that voice i'm he would have very long and detailed interviews explaining how he cast and and was very particular about how people were arranged.

AlexI know. Do you ever think, though, like when a director, especially Kubrick, because I just enjoy him talking, so not even necessarily in interviews, but when he is talking to his cast and crew,

Merlinand I'm like, is that the voice you use at home?

AlexIs that like, some of them must have had a really...

MerlinI think you could ask that as somebody who manages a Walmart, too, though.

AlexHuh.

MerlinWell, I'm sorry.

AlexI think that's an ask. I should go the next time I'm in a Walmart and say, excuse me.

MerlinRight.

AlexWould you have been so unkind to Shelley Duvall?

MerlinYeah, I don't know. But it strikes me that probably most people have a form of code switching where they speak differently at their work than they do at home. But I don't have a job, so I don't know. Now, with that said, I have met a lot of people. Well, like, for example, on Somebody Somewhere, you take the woman who, like, in the first episode is managing the office where Sam Pyre works. And, like, she becomes more of a character later on. And, like, you get these characters who are like, oh, I've worked with people like that.

I've worked with people who are like that at work. And then you meet them outside of work and they're really different. And not different in, like, hey, it's exactly the opposite. They're a party animal. But it's like, no, they have a whole different way they interact with people than the way they do at work. And I've known a lot of people who were kind of jerks. They were work jerks in some ways, but like outside they would seem pretty cool. And it was always kind of hard in my mind because I'm simple and from the Midwest. It always seemed kind of hard to square that in my head.

AlexI am actually surprised by that. More, not because of a Midwest thing. Which part are you surprised about? all of that that you hadn't realized that that's a very common thing you know and and i guess plus you only get to see one feel the need to code switch and not feel the need to be an at work because i mean oh i can't uh oh i don't want i don't want people to get mad but yeah it's

i find it much easier to code switch around different people and it is a great i think it's obvious now maybe in the year 2026 what a good defense mechanism it is and how it's a lot easier for other things mechanism to code switch oh for a lot of people yeah did it ever occur to you that both sides of the conversation are code switching yes absolutely that that's that makes it

MerlinI would not want to say that code switching is something that only the oppressed peoples do in life.

AlexOh, no. I, the majority of people I've, I suppose, who have seen, like, actually physically seen Code Switch are, I mean, I do not know their oppression status, but like just peers either trying to prove something or not even necessarily trying to gain an amount of power, but sometimes trying to downplay their power to appease their boss. it's it is a weird thing that i it's not that i enjoy watching it i i miss i do miss watching it

a little bit it's kind of like uh talking about somebody who comes in like you're talking about

Merlinlike a queer queer person at a job or like a black person at a job like literally just

Alexgive me an example what you're talking about a uh star starbucks let's say a um go i suppose extreme opposite route a grad like someone who has a master's degree but his boss is a self-conscious kid who's trying to be like the manager by boss i mean like the supervisor he's probably a dumb guy

Merlinno i mean in my class capital d capital g like one of those guys who's trying to sound like he's smart but it just makes him sound dumb one of those people who says things like that's a big ask

Alexbut he'll do the kind of do like a uh not make himself dumb to sound to sound more okay yeah and some people can do that well and some people it's a how do you do fellow kids and it makes everybody uncomfortable it's a very boring attenborough movie that i like seeing out in the real world. And sometimes it is an exercise in empathy.

Chattinborough?

MerlinNo, sorry, which Attenborough? Are you talking about the guy who does documentaries or the actor in Jurassic Park?

AlexThe guy who does documentaries.

MerlinOkay, got it. Yeah, you just turned 100. Just turned 100, still working. Still kicking. Can't be long now.

AlexI don't trust any comment. I don't trust your bits. I don't trust media bits. Like, they keep saying things about pop culture and celebrities, about, you know, the real estate financier, Jeffrey Epstein, and then David Attenborough. I don't actually know how old – David Attenborough could be a spry 80. Wait, what are you talking about?

MerlinYou don't trust my bits or the media's bits? Should I just ignore the insane things you say today since it's going to be one of those episodes? I'll just keep agreeing with you and trying to build it up. Would that be better? Every time I try to find some basis in reality, you take it back to a place that makes me extremely confused.

AlexThe UK, SNL UK bit. Now it's weekend.

MerlinThere's no I in UK. There's an I in UKIP. Selfish, selfish Paul Nuttles.

AlexHow old is David Attenborough?

MerlinHow old is David Attenborough?

AlexDavid Attenborough. David Attenborough. Yep. Nope. Thought I could spell it. Nope. Just like Deckeris. Cannot spell it. Well, I know he was born in 1954. So, oh God. Yes. 100. That is actually, yes. I know he was born in 1954. Yeah. That's what you said.

MerlinNow make him 100 now.

AlexNope. That would be. Hey, Alex. You know what?

MerlinI got a good idea. Let's go ahead and how about you do your intro?

AlexMm-hmm. Thank you. This is Dubai Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Alex Cox and Merlin Mann. This week's challenge, find or make something that fits perfectly in your hand.

MerlinI heard a little snort while I was saying that. What was that snort for? Nothing. um and that was the challenge this week and you were excited about this one so let's probably let's just get straight into it alex uh it's you're somebody who likes having something that fits

Alexin their hand i love things that fit in my hand yeah you should talk about that uh since 2014 i haven't had a phone that fits in my hand i won't shut up about it it makes me annoyed almost every single day it's something i want to let go besides a phone that fits in your hand yes and that's why i get really excited now because the one thing i hold the most it just won't it won't fit i've i tried um here's my the iPhone the um the telephone iPhone doesn't

fit in your hand since 2014 are you can you buy it a different size i for a almost a year used what a phone i have right here right you'll get click oh it sounds so good i don't feel it but i can hear it but the ears are the fingers of the head things that fingers are the windows of the eyes that sounds like a real quote that's because i said it with confidence yeah good job audacity the pixel for one of google's phones it's light pink it is a tiny bit small oh sorry a tiny tiny

tiny bit bigger huh hmm that's a terrible sentence is today a good day for you to do this or would you we do this different day i like i just like the phrase i'm like oh it's a tiny bit bigger

Merlinyeah so the google pixel is that is that a recent that's a recent phone of theirs that's little is

Alexit okay no it's a it is an uh uh pixel 4 and it runs a mobile os called post os that specifically is meant for phones that are almost a decade old. Oh, wow. So, yep, the camera really doesn't work, and I don't use it very often, but it fits perfectly in my hand.

MerlinAh, right, right, right. Yeah. Yes.

AlexAnd the... I don't know. I just find something very satisfying. Actually, especially after you and Max didn't quite get me into knives, but I started to appreciate how many bad knives there were in my life. I'm glad I can help with that. Yes. You helped with that. You helped with pens. Specifically, you know, you have a very good pen, the Tool pen, I believe it is.

And I love how it writes. It doesn't fit in my hand well. I've accepted that the, this isn't something I found, but I've accepted this week is that the Pilot G7 clickable pen, since sixth grade, when it came out, it's been...

MerlinClassic gel pen, right?

AlexYes. one of back back on the day when gel pen was a way to market something like new and exciting like uh oh you came to office depot get excited which i was because it was the beginning of the school

Merlinyear so i was very excited yeah sure yeah and office supplies yeah it's not you didn't get

Alexexcited going to office supply stores i did that's why i agreed with you okay all right well i didn't No, just like the snort that you made. I wasn't sure.

MerlinNo, you're just terrible at phrasing these as anything that would make any sense.

AlexI know. I did say a tiny bit.

MerlinIt's almost like you don't really think it through before you say it sometimes.

AlexNo, I do.

MerlinIt's like you hadn't written it down first or anything.

AlexI mean, I can. Oh, I can. So you're excited.

MerlinI'm the same way. G4. G4?

AlexThe pilot. Not G4. That is a force. Not G4. Not G4. No, the G7. a clickable gel pen and but i found this week um that there is a specific size of play-doh that or quantity of play-doh that fits perfectly in my hand that you can't what kind of paper do you use that on uh what kind of paper do you know when you're like a

Merlinwriting longhand, I guess you're using Play-Doh. No, we've pivoted now from there's a pen you used to like, and

Alexnow we're talking about Play-Doh. These are just things. These are just things that fit perfectly in my hand. That makes sense.

MerlinYeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. That

Alexmakes sense. There's things that fit

Merlinin my hand. It strikes me that you could grab whatever amount of Play-Doh you needed for it to fit straight in your hand. Yeah,

Alexand I was living in ignorance. And now

Merlinyou don't have to fret about that. Now you know how many grams of Play-Doh you need. I wasn't,

AlexNo, I wasn't fretting about it. You weren't fretting about it. I just didn't realize that there was a perfect amount that unfortunately is only available to retailers. And so now it's just...

MerlinThe amount is only available to retailers? Are you talking about the little guys? Those little multi-packs? Yeah. Yeah, those are great. They're... Those are great. Like if you're, one of the things, God, one of the numerous things I miss about Walgreens, well, just, you know, one thing I always thought was neat about Walgreens in general is like wherever you go, there's a lot of like, I would say like stuff your kid can play with in a hotel room. So like, you know, for like 10 bucks or less, you can get like this great little like six or eight pack or whatever of tiny Play-Doh.

That's really fun. You can get a little Lego set that you could put together at like a desk while you watch Fantastic Mr. Fox or whatever, right? um i thought i think i think let me ask you real quick in passing were you were you a play-doh fan

Alexas a kid did you play with it as a kid no i preferred silly putty and that should have been different to me i they absolutely are but and it should have been an early indicator that i would have strong opinions about phone cases because play-doh it i will say i enjoyed the final results of play-doh but it wasn't nearly as fun to actually play with the same way looking at something pretty like ah yes nice all of those toys though suffer from a similar problem which

Merlinis they get dirty yes and the reason i think of that in particular is because of silly putty silly putty which i played with a lot as a kid too when i had it that was a big stocking stuff for when i was a kid you know get an egg of silly putty um i always enjoyed them i would do the you know make the comic you know from the comic pages you know the impression you could do or you can make it bounce but if you did start using it as a bouncy ball you're going to suffer from the things off which it bounces you know what i mean your kitchen floor is not as clean as you

Alexthink and then the silly putty tells the story i agree and i know maybe the i'm not a scholar on this topic i thought i suppose i thought i was but that was the appeal of silly putty to me was you can then clean it off and reuse it. And it didn't get all, you know, it didn't tell the...

MerlinGet some of it out, but it would eventually, I don't know, maybe I was just extra hard on Silly Putty. But there's a point where it lost its stickiness, like it got so much detritus in it or like flex of whatever that you couldn't get out. But no, I thought Silly Putty is a clever idea. I don't know the history of Silly Putty, but I'll bet it's kind of interesting. I wonder if it's like a sticky notes kind of thing. You know, like where they silly putty ended. They thought it would be for one thing, but it ended up being another.

AlexThat's how I imagine the newspaper situation went where like, what, what if, ooh, my headcanon now, someone was like, all right, we need a way to transfer the ink from newspaper.

MerlinYeah, yeah, right. You say, well, that's not, and it's backwards. That's not going to work.

AlexUh-oh.

Merlinbut like a slinky i mean i i wonder if it was at just like a certain point in the 60s i don't again i don't know the history of the slinky but that's another one where it's like the the idea of a slinky that if you only knew it from tv commercials you would think it's a thing mainly for making it walk down the stairs and they eventually when i was a kid had it in the song walks downstairs alone or impairs and makes a slinkity sound a spring a spring a marvelous thing everyone knows it's slinky you know that song and but i do oh but mainly i think of a

slinky as a thing to untangle that you can't untangle no i could never do the song again please please do the song again i can't do it like the lady in the ad what walks down let's see three what walks downstairs alone are in pairs and makes a slinky sound a spring a spring a marvelous thing everyone knows it's slinky it's slinky it's slinky for fun it's a wonderful toy It's slinky, it's slinky It's fun for a girl or a boy It's fun for a girl or a boy

AlexThank you

MerlinI had to look up the lyrics

AlexStill Bravo

MerlinDidn't have to look up the lyrics at all

AlexI would have believed it Alex, everyone knows it's slinky

MerlinHey, who made a mess in here? Everyone knows it's Slinky. I think you're not Slinky. Hey, who made popcorn and didn't clean their dish in the office kitchen? Everyone knows it's Slinky. It's like not me, you know, in the family circus comics, which you could get a reverse image of if your silly putty wasn't too dirty. A little detritus.

AlexDetritus. Detritus. Detritus. I like repeating words now on the show, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Decris. I'll try and use fewer.

MerlinOr if you like, I'll even try and use less words.

AlexOkay, that's another one.

MerlinMore news and less Nesman.

AlexDo you have... I can go on with my list forever. Do you have anything that fits perfectly in your hand? Wait, wait, that's what you have? Oh, I mean, I have...

MerlinYou were so excited about this challenge,

Alexand I was like, what the fuck does this mean?

MerlinAnd you said, ah, phones. And so anyway, the idea was it's mainly about how you. Sorry.

AlexNo, I mean, I have a I do have a list of things that I went. I actually made my list of things that I was like, is this all the time? Does it indeed actually fit in my hand the right way? Most of the time, the answer is yes, because I was already weird. But I there's I think something changed about my hand. field notes i've i've had this feeling for a while something has happened in my hand i can't hold them the the way i used to or something they don't they don't fit exactly right socket

the um oh oh no this this week merlin um it was very exciting the a new pop socket was launched completely well they they say completely flat so if if you were to say put it on a max flat yeah if you were to put it on a mag safe charger then it's out there they're gonna have qualms with that the i that i that's why i said they say completely flat i maybe they do they have

maybe they have a new physicist on staff who's talked to grok a long time and has discovered a new form of math i don't know this talks to grok for a long time yes what is grok is that is

MerlinIs that like a... Oh, it's an AI thing probably, right?

AlexYes, I believe that's... Yep.

MerlinYeah. Anyway, so hey, new PopSocket came out. That's cool.

AlexIt would be if it was in stock everywhere. Casey Liss was like, oh, look at this PopSocket. It's totally flat. You put it on charger, it'll still charge. Go try it out. Oh, neato. That's cool. I have...

MerlinYou're frustrated because it's not in stock anywhere.

AlexSold out everywhere. apparently people pre-ordered it and i didn't know you could pre-order things from the apple store other than like iphones or the big things so that was my own personal challenge one day

Merlinyeah one can dream you know you find find some way to muddle along without a flat pop socket

Alexi uh no it no well it still pops yes it does because it's perfectly flat yeah it's in the

Merlinit's in the name it's literally it's literally on just one plane it's it's two-dimensional it's

Alexliterally flat they never said literally i never said literally but a i said completely and i also said they said completely i like the way that fits in your hand alex well like a pop socket feels good in your hand is that an example of one when it's popped out but you can't put it anywhere when it's not popped out it's very frustrating so oh because it's not flat yeah no okay it's it's not that's not a decorous situation then you're you it's a different time

we're in a different place but it used to be when i saw a pop socket i assumed that someone was making some sort of tick tock or real or some sort of short form content so i always assume

Merlinwhen I see a pop socket. I'm always seeing pop sockets and that's always what I assume.

AlexI'm saying... Oh, I know.

MerlinA real, a jig, a strass bay. A different time. Any of the Scottish and Irish dances. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People are always posting their strass bays and jigs.

AlexYou think millennials like to stand in line. Oh, I just think it's funny

Merlinto talk about obscure kinds of Scottish dance because I could care less about Instacart or whatever it's called.

Alexthe only reason i care about no no no but it's nice no no i'm sorry i'm being a meanie

Merlinbecause you're off your fucking nut this week it's super hard to follow and i'm um i have not found many things that fit perfectly in my hand but i would say there are things that fit nicely in my hand or that feel good in my hand but as far as perfectly i'm not sure anybody's hand is

Alexperfect for that much that's that's why it's a difficult challenge and i'd say that you peanut buttered but that's that's all right yeah peanut butter why um because you didn't find something that fit perfectly oh just but that's okay that's not really how the challenge works though

Merlinum the challenge is to do the challenge it's not to succeed at the challenge just to do the challenge so in other words i should not have stopped spending every second of every day until i found something that literally fit perfectly in my hand according to your weird rules of this

Alexchallenge no you could accept that oh i will not complete this challenge oh i see oh yeah i guess i peanut butter man sorry i tried zero points and thank them for it and that'll and that's okay there's nothing wrong with not completing a challenge we all it happens to all of us some more than others, but that's okay.

Cool. I have made a list of seven task master references that you haven't gotten. And I am pleased with myself.

MerlinGreat. Did you want to share those now? Or do you want to talk more about things that I did wrong?

AlexNo, I want to hear the things that don't fit perfectly.

MerlinNo, no, no.

AlexIt's okay.

MerlinNo, do the task master things.

AlexNo.

MerlinOkay. What do you want to do?

AlexI want to hear about the things that fit nicely.

MerlinI just, I don't have a strong opinion about it. I just, um, you know, different things. I, I don't think about stuff that way. I mean, everything I had to say, I said that time where I was talking about how I wish my, it was easier to use my phone in one hand, you know, like in bed. Um, but like, you know, sometimes I'll like want to watch like a YouTube or really mostly listen to a YouTube thing and maybe watch it a little bit, but I don't want to have to hold it sideways and I don't want to put my glasses on. It's a whole thing. When you get older and your body starts being weird, you know, you got to make more accommodations.

I don't want my hand to fall asleep or my arm to fall asleep. But as far as fitting perfectly, I don't think I have that. There's not even like gloves that I feel fit perfectly. But on the other hand, there are things where I go, oh, that's kind of satisfying. I think sometimes the weight, the heft of something can feel really nice in your hand.

AlexI wish I had a tungsten. cube i've uh i've never held one but apparently that has heft i mean a bit bits aside um on father's day i like i obviously get hyper fixated on this stuff but it still surprises i guess not surprises me but i it feels like we've made a lot of affordances or progress when it comes to technology and accessibility in regards to software, but when I was like hanging out with

older relatives and relatives that just have various sorts of disabilities and man, it does bum me out that we really only have one phone and very like, I mean, I'm not asking for a pop socket on the side of an oxygen tank, although that would be cool. But I mean, as simple as somebody sleeping in a bed in a different way, or always looking at your phone from the side.

MerlinNo, I totally know what you mean. And I'm totally on board with calling it a disability angle. The only qualm I have is not with you, but with how not only does disability still, it's on the one hand, like 80% of the problem with disability is people are terrible to people with disabilities. But the other 20% is like, Oh my God, can we stop making this such a fucking sacred cow? That's a quote about disabled people and make it more about how, how about we make this better for everybody? Like it's, it's become the disability is a ghetto in so many ways.

And we all, you know, we can, people like me will say like, well, you know, I do really think there are improvements to these things that benefit everybody. but you know if you scratch past the surface a little bit a lot of it i think does kind of come down to money on a lot of things but like all the way down to like opening boxes like boxes are such a pain in the ass to open i know this is an old guy thing whatever it's fine but like i'm 60 and like i don't love opening boxes my mom's 92 and she super doesn't like opening boxes

it's you know it but it's something where like if you were to make that better for my mom you would also make that better for me and whether you think it matters now or not it would also improve the lives of people who are 12 that there's a there's a there is a and that's why i say you know turning turning turning disability into either like a sacred cow or something to be like made fun of is a terrible idea and i wouldn't i wouldn't make that seemingly false dichotomy except it is something that a lot of people do. Which like on the one hand, there's like this,

oh my God, you know, disability and disabled people are this extremely special group and people get real touchy on other people's behalf, which I get. Even though if you become that sort of person, you can pretty easily turn almost anything into what you call a disability and then chide people about it. Well, how about instead of that, like, great, now you've controlled the use of that word. Good job. Hope that helped. But whereas I'm more likely to say like, Hey, yeah, just put in ramps. Give me all the ramps. Do all the things. There are very few things that help somebody who could use the help that don't also end up helping everybody else.

It isn't like, you know, there's Braille-only versions of everything and people feel left out of that. You know what I mean? I don't know if Braille's even a good example. But I just think that that ease of use and, you know, this is a conversation people were having a lot more 20 years ago. I feel like in the time of the early days of user experience design and Don Norman stuff, and to some extent, even Jakob Nielsen stuff, you know, one of the things I thought was so neat about getting HTML that works and validates is that there's benefits to that for everybody,

starting with the designer and the CSS developer, all the way up through somebody who uses what they used to call a JAWS reader, like to read a page. Those are the benefits for everybody with that. You know, I get into trouble though, because of something like alt text, where it's like, well, I try to do good alt text when it occurs to me. I'm not going to like go out of my way to make great alt text all the time. And when I do make alt text a lot of times, it's not because I'm not trying to be harmful to people who have disabilities, but if it's a visual joke,

I'm not going to explain a visual joke. Like if I'm going to use alt text for a visual joke, It's going to have to be for something that plays against what's happening with the visual joke. It's not going to be like, you know, here's Harpo Marx with a dog barking out of his tattoo or something like that. But anyway, I sound like I'm being a crank about people with disabilities or trying to accommodate them. And that's if the careful listener will realize that's absolutely not what I'm saying. I'm trying to say, let's stop acting like we always have to have one guy in a wheelchair and call that our disabled friend.

Like, it wasn't that cool 30 years ago when people had a black friend. And it's not that super cool now when we're constantly turning people who are diverse in any way into some kind of a poster child for a thing. It's just that we have to do that to push that particular rope, to get people to take this stuff more seriously. but at a time of cost cutting and things like that, well, they're going to seal your box the way that's least expensive for them. They're going to ship that phone in the way that is like scales best for them. You know what I mean? There's all those, those kinds of problems.

And I do think people, people sometimes it's a bummer to me though, how that conversation about a thing that could help everybody gets turned into this fairly acrimonious issue about, you know, you know, special needs or something like that. And it's like, well, no, I mean, that's nuts. Have you never?

AlexThat's why software, I think, has been, and I think Apple specifically has been very successful on the front of calling something accessibility for at least a while, not making a huge deal about it. They don't want to have to support it in a support call, I think.

MerlinThere's so much stuff that they stick in. I'm pretty convinced that half of the stuff in accessibility is at least is stuff that anybody would want.

Alexlike why is reduced transparency inaccessibility yes exactly and that um i'm not i'm not doing that

Merlinbecause i'm disabled i'm doing that because for a variety of reasons especially with liquid glass like there's all kinds of reasons i reduce transparency and reduce motion i i will mention

Alexone of my disabled friends uh who i think in regards to um all the great disabled but my friend who's blind it was especially um it was specifically in regards to alt text when it was a very um the people who use alt text had a lot of opinions about it and he's like you know what if you guys are going to perform at least make it a good performance and that just that stuff

Merlinconstantly i'm always thinking of is and this is maybe a careless way to think about it but this and this does assume a certain amount of the same kind of decent html that would lead to good alt images. Like, is there nothing, is there not a tool out there where you can right click or the equivalent for an unsighted person? Isn't there a way you can right click on something and get the equivalent of alt text? Does that not just not exist? Because that would be like one of the first

Alexshortcuts I build. The, yeah, I guess I'm just going to. Also just, I'm sorry, just to put a

Merlinpoint on that, that means I get the kind of alt text I want. So if you had built that based on your own kind of prompts, not only would you get to avoid my bullshit, but then you would also get Like, you know, I want you to focus on letters or I want you to focus on the position of people or, you know what I mean? Like there's all kinds of things. Well, is there one kind of alt text that works? I really doubt it. Not least because of space limitations. Like, should you have to read a thousand characters or something to know what's in the image? Sometimes maybe you just want to know it's two people petting a dog.

And maybe sometimes you want to know what breed of dog it is. Like is, and I don't know, I don't want to argue about it. But like it's in the rush to perform certain kinds of values. I think sometimes people get a little bit distracted from what it is that actual people actually want or actually need. And that's a bummer too.

AlexThe reason I say it's because it's like, Alex, obviously this has always been a problem. Yes. The reason why it's a bummer to me. Well, the whole, you know, like scaling costs thing like is yes, guys, I know. It's just that there, I guess what it was not as obvious and hopefully is becoming more not obvious, but there's a realization that, yeah, there are a lot of people going down that Walgreens when they exist.

and there is just one type of neck brace and like they're like okay come on like really like it's

Merlinjust one you've only got one and then you go two right i mean yeah i know i i totally get what you're saying and i think we probably both understand why that is it like for the same reason that you can't get every single kind of women's medium blouse from Givenchy at every airport it's like well there's just not enough room for all the skews we have room for one neck brace at this small walgreens that's the one people buy the most it's an 80 20 that's pretty

straightforward business decision if you need something more you go somewhere else

Alexthose uh this isn't in an argument that is what i had i had just assumed like oh this these are the it is true of band-aids like okay this is the type of band-aid most people want and um i am up my ass about like oh no i want it's not that i need latex free but i want the kind that has like the sticky that doesn't give my rash uh but like people often don't buy like therapeutic stuff or um any sort of not any sort of but you know the aisle that is it almost is a performative aisle

of like this is where you know the broken people aisle is i don't know about that exactly but

Merlinwell but that's like can you put that on almost any aisle if you choose to oh this is the one for bald people yes yes this is the one for people who hate their hair color this is the one for people who shit or don't shit and but that's the you can say that about any sub aisle at a walgreens

Alexthis is people who like to color that's why i think it's wild that there's like this performative aisle where it's like we push how's that performative it's a drugstore

Merlinum like you want to be able to buy an ace bandage if you go to pick up a prescription for your sprained ankle it would be nice to be able to get an ankle brace right yes well how's that

Alexperformative i guess i'm because there aren't a lot of people who are able to go to walgreens themselves or even unless you are a nurse practitioner because it doesn't yeah because when I are this is I have a family member who who uh is has started using adult diapers and he hates that term but he's like honestly I don't have a better way to say it so whatever and uh I was like

you know what you're right grandpa and um he was like you know you those things that kids use to hold their phones uh and he wasn't talking about pop sockets but those things that you like place on the side that's almost like an extra little handle i don't know how to it's

Merlinalmost like a rubber band on the back could be kind of like the the giant um the giant armor you put on an ipad for a kid something that gives it more like yeah a way to hold it more

Alexyeah it's got more handle surface kind of and that's sort of uh i was like you know And he wants a handle for his diaper? I'm not sure. I'm joking, but it was this little thing of like, he's like, okay, someone I think will have to do this for me one day. But right now I can. And like, as you know, I'm losing dignity, you know, at least and was swearing more than this and saying some things in Polish.

MerlinYeah, yeah, yeah.

AlexIt was a very...

MerlinAnd what was his beef with the... How did he want it to be? What was the way that he was wishing it was easier to use?

AlexJust that it was easy to treat. almost like put on or to buy or to to put on like the way that uh toddlers have the because you know pull-ups i actually yes thank you um they're literally called pull-ups that's right yeah and the way that um you know like usability and accessibility is a slider uh is such that is not like it's it's also not you know the way you talk about like progress or decline it isn't linear like there are various some people do not always need an ace bandage and that's why the ace

bandage isn't in the performative walgreens aisle um also to answer your question okay to answer your question they need that to be you need to stock a certain amount of over-the-counter things to be classified as a pharmacy and that's part of why according to whom the it depends it used to be the FDA. It's no longer that.

MerlinOkay, sorry. Let's take this over. So somebody goes to your closest Walgreens and they are from what government bureau and they are looking for what problem that needs enforcement because they broke the rule?

AlexOh, I don't... I don't understand what you're saying.

MerlinHave you ever worked at a drugstore? Because I'm feeling like you haven't.

AlexNo.

MerlinI have. It's a very complicated business, especially to run as a... I worked in one that was a small business. My friends parents uh their her folks had a place um and it's it's a pretty complicated business for a lot of reasons like there's all kinds of stuff where well there's a phrase i started using honestly alex 20 years ago and it was with regard to our particular walgreens rip but the thing i would say is the thing that's frustrating is that walgreens has everything you almost need

yeah where like they've got a bunch of stuff but none of it is the thing you need they have so much stuff that is pretty close to the thing you need but they rarely have exactly the thing you need and that could be you want you want like a like an extra large or or uh purple uh neck brace or whatever but often it's not it could just be also that like oh man you have this candy but it's only in this particular kind of bag at this particular time of year and you know i think i always come back to to this might be too much of a skeleton key but i think to understand today's contemporary

drugstore you well the point i'm going to end up trying to make is about um profit per cubic inch but the example i'm going to give is gift cards like there's a reason there are so many gift cards for sale at least at our walgreens is and similar like there's a whole kiosk like right kind near the checkout plus there's like a whole section like you know you described the uh i don't know that phrase either adult diapers there used to be a one section of the store it's kind of like the just the the embarrassing middle part of your body section in the store

where it was all like you know period supplies and douches and all that kind of stuff right next to the wrapping paper for some reason um but um no but i mean gift cards i think represent a a pretty good example of profit per cubic inch. And this is a huge deal in grocery stores. It's why grocery stores, changes you've seen in grocery stores, one of the changes you've seen in grocery stores over the years is that they're so heavily optimizing for how much profit they can make per cubic inch. And we're not going to put out a thing this big

that costs is so heavy and costs so little because that could be a bunch of gift cards. We don't need to sell all the gift cards. If we sell five of these gift cards, we just got free money.

AlexI actually didn't even realize until you mentioned it that there used to be an entire section of our Walgreens that was, you know, like the little chip section, I suppose. Little chips. The little chips. Chips to eat. Christmas. Yeah, little chips. The little salty snack and little candy area. You can buy Scottish cookies. you get funions that kind of thing yeah and there used to be kind of two at our walgreens and now

one is all gift cards in a way that it's it's a big empty mostly empty space except for the wall that is lined with gift cards on top on top of or next to the like three carousels of gift

Merlincard type things right right right and think about think about how i don't know what they what the Walgreens company makes off of each one of those, but basically all they need to do is scan a piece of plastic and tell you it's not returnable, and they've just made X number of dollars for something the size of a credit card, which is pretty phenomenal compared to, say, I'm not going to get into dollar stores, but I'm trying to think of maybe discount laundry detergent, or in my case, if you bought generic seltzer, that's probably not a big earner for them.

You know what I mean? in terms of like all told the weight the size you know the restocking the chance that it's going to break and blah blah blah whereas a gift card like what's the worst thing that could happen you know i don't know i and i sound cynical but i i think and i'm deliberately making that kind of extreme example to say well maybe that's why they don't have seven kinds of neck braces

Alexyes absolutely i doubt that it's i doubt that it's because they they they hate you know charlie kirk or whatever i bet it's just because they only have so much space uh um it that is another reason that um it does bum me out it like it is weird that our neighborhood walgreens has become sort of like the neighborhood local pharmacy and that it compared to the cvs down the the block

it has uh that is inside um the the target it is far more specified and the especially the pharmacy techs like they know uh i i'm sure like it's not like they they don't know but they're uh however they know to make the most money for like that specific area they are stocking more allergy medicine or more uh like behind the counter stuff like the good stuff the d and not the fake stuff

uh and it's it's not exactly specialized but like there it's it fits the market of a north side wheezing a nerdy neighborhood much more than the cvs down the street and i can only imagine a world in which like you knew your pharmacist's name and they always knew that tony i i don't know liked his uh specific brand not brand of tylenol i don't know i know what you mean i know what you

Merlinmean we use we get all our prescriptions from a local place and uh we have that relationship with

Alexthem it's really nice that's cool yeah yeah they're very cool it's tough racket though i think

MerlinYou know, I think it's probably a pretty tough racket.

AlexThe difference between, like, grocery stores and pharmacies versus drugstores. Yeah. These, I hope that there's a YouTube, a good YouTube essay out there. Because I can barely, a good YouTube essay about it. About what? um the difference between how pharmacies work and grocery stores work other than just we need to make the most money but like learning about dollar stores versus something like a grocery store it

just breaks your brain a little bit because kind of like oh people hold things in a different way it's like ah this is a different universe that i didn't think of not because i don't go to well

Merlinmaybe just because you don't have exposure to it that's my case you know the i'm i'm interested in

Alexthe stuff that we do have an exposure to but not uh like there's the um like something like a dollar store but i just thought it was what i'm saying is we don't have those here okay uh we don't have

Merlinlike or like maybe to put it a different way if we have those i'm not seeing this when i see uh John Oliver going off his nut about drug or like gas station gas station drugs like Kratom and all these different things like if those are around I don't see them like all these weed drinks I see them at my weed store but I don't I don't just see them around maybe I just don't go out enough

Alexbut I don't think

Merlinso apparently that Kratom stuff is not very good

Alexfor you it's bad super super bad and I was not exposed to that either

MerlinBut again, it's a form of self-medication for a lot of people.

AlexOh, yeah. I meant, though, I'm like, wait, you're talking about this. I'm like, yeah, I've seen it in dispensaries and I see smoke shops. But even gas stations in the city are relatively small. But that's very profitable.

MerlinI mean, you ever ask yourself why there's so many five-hour energy-style things? They're real little.

Alexthe the guy at the 7-eleven by my house he is very upset about the how zen uh is in a like is a circle whereas he could always pack yeah yeah because circles circles yeah that's

Merlinsuch a good point yeah yeah why that was why shipping yeah man one of the million reasons shipping containers are a big deal is like barrels are not efficient you know because barrels are round and that leaves a lot of space and you know what's actually you know what's really good is hexagons. You can fit a whole bunch of hexagons. But then, you know, you get into hexagons, octagons. You get octagons, everything looks like Battlestar Galactica. But with hexagons, you can act like you're a bee.

AlexWe would be a bee a lot better off. But aren't hexagons difficult to create? And that's why most boxes are boxes. Because barrels are barrels because they're easier to move, right?

MerlinAccording to CGP Grey, it's the least wax required for the most structure.

AlexOh, he's a Bonabee. Is that true? That's incredible.

MerlinIt's starting to sound like maybe you haven't watched the video I'm talking about.

AlexOh, I don't think I have. I've seen Hexagons are the Bestagons.

MerlinIt's called Hexagons are the Bestagons is the name of the video.

AlexOh, I missed the B part.

MerlinYeah, this is a thing that happens sometimes. Yeah, I don't have that many things that fit great in my hand. I had friends with the drugstore. It's difficult. Yeah. Yeah. You know, there's also just this thing that's not worth talking about. It's just a thing to bitch about. But like whenever I find myself like turning to like, oh, the old days were better type stuff. A lot of times it I mean, a lot of times think way things used to be better is just before people figured out what they could get away with or when they didn't realize what an unsustainable false economy they were in.

like you know the the dtc products that sponsored a lot of my shows had like ridiculously low prices on things that you know comparatively you know what i don't want to talk about this it's too sad

Alexlet's talk about something happy i uh the like a casper mattress with just what is it right just the right thing i didn't want to talk about spring and bounce i was um i don't i didn't know you didn't want to specifically talk about a mattress let's talk about mattresses hey everybody well

Merlintoday's episode of Dubai Friday is brought to you in part by Casper uh Casper as they've developed a new kind of hybrid mattress it's got just the right sink and just the right balance it's a

Alexcombination of uh of latex foam and memory foam we had a challenge uh years ago where we tried to find the the best pillow and a thing that was like there are way more pillows and again i know that this is like obvious like pillows are easier to stock than a mattress and whatever and even the

Merlindirect to consumer stuff you're a regular supply chain guru aren't you well that's i just i i think

Alexsmaller smaller lighter things are easier huh yeah yeah but even like the amount of you know the amount of um whatever type of materials you can a hybrid mattress uh the hybrid like the

but they're still don't seem where are all the pillows i still can't really find a good a good pillow um and it's those the reason i'm i'm trying to it's i don't think it is necessarily depressing because there are certain there are certain things where um something like uh i'll go back to phones but because they they are so common and now are also so common in film productions for

not just using but shooting them phones or pillows or what i'm talking i'm talking about phones and how much better the uh amount of filming equipment and uh there was a realization of okay specific types of screws obviously the best because then we need a you know there's only one screwdriver it's easier whatever but standardizing yeah um it's like oh that was the big deal with railroad tracks you know he honestly i no no i know i'm just i thought i had

a funny question and then i didn't i'm trying so hard i'm trying to say in my head i really am

Merlinuh there's so many different kinds of phones and they use them for movies so that's why there's

Alexdifferent kinds of screws and pillows there's a different like you know those um costs not custom but the screws pillows or phones the uh screws that hold the somewhat customized tripods that hold phones um it used to be like tripods used to be very standardized because there used to be very few types of cameras right and there would be standard types of screw and a standard amount of tension actually i do kind of miss this but you know it used to be the sorry for the used

to be but it's it was like okay you screw this in five times and it wasn't just a whole old like this certain stage hand or gaffer who knew it. I think it's called the pitch,

Merlinwhich is like the amount of threads, like the angle and the number of them. And I know what you mean though. Like, it'd be nice to know that if I ever buy, you know, because again, if you're, you don't buy one tripod in your life, if you're a, you know, a gaffer or something, or whatever it's called. But like, you know, it'd be nice to know that when I buy this screw, I could take it out of the pack in the dark and screw it in and go dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, and know it's in exactly the perfect way, right? And these will all work and interact interchangeably with each other, right? That kind of thing.

AlexAnd more equipment has become specialized but still standardized around specific types of screws. And I'm forgetting the names because I have forgotten the certain millimeters and the types.

MerlinYou're talking about the quarter inch screw that comes up for a camera mount.

AlexYes. Yes, but there's even more specialized ones for sound poles and stuff like that. But as the equipment, like the technology changed, and some of the specialized equipment changed, like that still, it was more devices were built around the easy and accessible standards, because everybody can understand, all right, this is the type of screw we use. and it isn't a barrier to entry was a barrier to entry is the changing amount of equipment

or in in some cases uh people who are getting older like uh spielberg the amount of equipment that has this i don't i do not know if this is true but like he will change has it changed equipment on set because he can't see like it's it's more of a preference that's not important But, you know, someone's preferences change because their body is changing. Like, the thing that is less than like a grumpy complaint is, I don't know, like people who have gotten older and have realized, okay, maybe my youth was wasted on my youth, but I can change that.

and I can change how I was grumpy about only using this specific one type of thing. And that's, in conclusion, that's why phone cases should be better. I kind of thought that you would have, like, is there a standardized thing that you really enjoy that is always available and is always at a Walgreens? like a certain threaded type thing or threaded thing a kind of maybe i mean nothing that i look

Merlinforward to getting but and again our walgreens is closed but um but like you know time was you know getting one of those adapters that adapts like a three-prong do a two-prong electrical thing.

I'm trying to think of examples of that. I don't know. I'm trying to think of ones. I could probably go through especially my Amazon list and find examples of things like that. I tend to prefer stuff that don't require a lot of thought, effort, focus, strength, vision, hearing. I like things that let me just be a... No, I'm being honest. I think all of us prefer things that let us just be a dummy.

Alexthe the i guess i am really simping for apple today the whole just what um you're simply for apple simp simping um that's a gerund i am uh being very much of an apple enthusiast today whereas the just works campaign that like apple nerds talk about as in a nostalgic way uh i've

Merlinpeople could barely even name which decade that's in but anyway continue um you're simping for apple you're simply you're simply for apple and uh they have a lot of movies are now made with phones that may or may not have pop sockets and it's nice to get a screw at the walgreens that'll fit into your

Alexcharlie kirk god back to the left the change of different equipment and uh for used on film sets I'm saying like the changes.

MerlinAnd that has to do with Steven Spielberg aging.

AlexI was just mentioning Steven Spielberg as one of the aging directors who is like, oh, okay, we should probably.

MerlinOh, this is something he's talked about.

AlexNo, people who have supposedly worked for him. That's why I say, I don't know. It's not like he did an interview about, you know, I can't see very well anymore. Although that would be interesting. um the like that i just i i mean like you just mentioned amazon and i i do really like that i don't have to go to you know go and dread going into some store and knowing that like yeah i don't

i know i won't be able to fit into what they think is a medium-sized underwear and I always try on all my underwear. Yeah.

MerlinCan I please have six more mediums? Sir, you should go.

AlexThat's six more.

MerlinSir, sir, sir. Just give me six more mediums, sir. I'm starting to really get the sense you're not actually here to buy underwear.

AlexAll right. All right. Am I? that's a this is something i also kind of wonder about because i'm no longer exposed to it like the idea uh not the idea the like changing rooms and that can't be profitable right like someone in they're not actively buying clothing but just trying it on and i i don't know it's someone who

just kind of hated the whole concept because i don't want to try on yeah sure um no no no but like having uh especially in places that weren't like boutique stores uh oh target yeah target has a lot of changing rooms still and that sort of surprises me maybe because i'm like that doesn't seem like a cynical thing like oh you need to actually try a thing and not buy seven

on them on amazon and return probably they're also smart enough to know which kinds of things

Merlinend up benefiting them in ways that may not be obvious to us i mean i guess my take would be well maybe that's because people first of all there's not very well-made clothes and not very well-made clothes tend to not fit very well and there tend to be variations in quality and size and i wonder if part of the feeling is you bring in your kids or your whatever it could just be you but you go in and you have a bunch of clothes go try these on then people buy more clothes because they can

Alextry on more clothes i don't know what's interesting like what's the threshold between clothes that are you have to try on so many because the none of the fits are standard and They're like all weird versus a like middle of the road. For me, a middle of the road. I think it goes for everywhere.

MerlinI mean, it could be, I'm using old names here, but Target, Gap, Bergdorf Goodman. Trump loved that dressing room. But any of those places, you can, you know, it's beneficial to try things on. But no, no. But I take your point, though. It does seem like, well, first of all, like, do they need that? Like, that's an amount of space that they could probably use for something else. the first thing that comes to my mind is stuff like security. They must have to really pay attention to what's going on with changing rooms for a variety of reasons.

Not least because people might be more likely to put something on and wear it out, but also just for the kinds of things that happen. There was a guy, I don't want to get into it, but there was a guy associated with my former college, part of the new regime of creeps. He ran into some trouble with dressing rooms down in Sarasota. Ran into some trouble there. Oh, he loves. He'd come in sometimes and then he'd ask a lady to come in and help him out.

AlexOh, oh, oh, oh, God. That sounds, it's a bit on family.

MerlinPublic Ivies. That's funny. It's public Ivy they used to call it.

AlexThat's part of the reason why a lot of dressing rooms or try on, I don't know what they're actually called. Keep going.

MerlinYou'll find the human word.

AlexNo, it's not funny. It's not funny. Also, it's not depressing. i'm saying like middle of the road type stores that are more expensive than a target but less expensive than some boutique shop where part of a dressing room is the experience like that's that is how they sell something by telling um yeah yeah like oh my god that looks amazing like learning about um the wedding dress i just had a friend in who had worked at both a david's bridal um which

which is kind of a men's warehouse of, not exactly a men's warehouse, but you can find an amazing wedding dress there, but it's mostly shitty. They do sales.

MerlinMy ex-wife used to work at a place that did rentals. They would do bridal rentals, which was kind of a new idea in the 90s.

AlexOh, I didn't know that was even still a thing. That makes sense.

MerlinYou know what you don't want to do? The thing is, if you're ultimately getting married, God bless you because you're pregnant, you've got to tell the lady fitting your dress that this is just the beginning. Don't hide that from your fitter.

AlexYes, that's what I was going to say.

MerlinA lot of the rental market and bridal dresses were women who thought they could kind of play it off legit.

AlexPart of the selling pitch is at the more high-end places. You get training of how to interact with the guests. And part of that is how do you suss out whether or not they may or may not lose a lot of weight?

MerlinOh, yeah. Oh, that's crazy to think about, isn't it?

AlexLike, I don't even have a good example because it's so nuanced.

MerlinWe just gave the perfect one, a pregnant lady getting married.

AlexIt's like a used car lot type of thing. The way they have to, like, both kind of hawk the...

MerlinI would not buy a dress that I used a car lot. That's just me. regardless of the trade-in value of the car or the dress or the pop socket

Alexit seems like they would be good at it after a couple weeks i mean yeah yeah well you know who

Merlinknows maybe uh maybe it'll turn the other way you never know you never know in this economy

Alexall right um hit the bell

Thank you.

457. Strathspeys and Jigs

Show notes

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Transcript

457. Strathspeys and Jigs

Show notes

Links

Transcript

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