416. Fudge Bucket

Hey brother. It ca it's like it's not that you're embarrassed, but it's definitely you feel a little chastened. And then it's like, and they don't they don't give us the good glutes. In that case, this will be our drop-in this week. But you're also a line by a memory, who when he's not bucking the system, is biting the hand that feeds, which in your case is this hand. I wouldn't say I'm information dense, but I do produce a lot of words. And I want to see if it's Richard Ayawade, for example, on uh on Big Fat. Because if I'm watching a beekeeping video, that's just there's this one guy that does really I like what his beekeeping thing is, but he talks No, not that. Not a mean way, but I would flick up my one index finger would be one.

Like I was listening to like uh God this morning I was listening to uh an episode God of A of um uh this T A L that I had forgotten about, where they talked to the author of the Book of Lists. And it's that time of year, like when all the French people leave Europe and like there's no T V shows and all the cable news coverage makes no sense and it's all like it's amateur hour for the whole like month of August. I mean a lot of mooks decided they're strong because they're now allowed to shave their head. And I imagine him, I know it doesn't read on his face, but I imagine the guy going like a father almost or a mother like going like I can't make it any smaller. I want anything that has the word Viking on it.

I'm just I'm saying like what are my options? And what if your saving grace was maybe you don't actually want what you think you want? You're crazy girl. Zack Krieger, who recently had a movie released called Weapons. And Alan Arkin is mostly kind of like just mm-hmm mm-hmm like listening along. I can't quote the whole I think you should leave because inspired that. Darth Maringui's Dark Place. Oh you get a knuckle supper. That's Matt Barry. I'm gonna re-top off my coffee. Yeah. Doctor Who companion whose last name is Oswald? Why? In retrospect, I didn't realize it at the time because it was probably the first, but I think that's the first John Hodgman thing I ever experienced was flight versus invisible visibility, which is still one of my favorite episodes.

What if I just see a Jewish mom really hating the little mermaid is real fun to me? Holy shit. So he used to be able to buy beer for us when he was sixteen. Well, obvious Merlin, don't be simple. Three speakers or fifteen speakers. Someday you'll explain that to me. That's the same thing. Oh, it's okay. Are getting great. quote unquote zombie anything, which is not exactly a a perfect name, but it's what we've come to call them. uh that guy you like who interviews Trump voters. Holy god, Alex, I forgot a big yes off of our yes list. And now Buck Bucket is way up there for me. Not failed, but like a struggling voice actor trying so hard to like just get through this with these people that he hates.

Well the what we sh do in the shadows spin-off one. Okay, well then this even will even be m even more ridiculous. Uh super unfortunately, this is a primarily visual gag, but it's got Richard Ayoade, and Richard Ayoade is doing the thing that I think he is particularly great at. And then eventually they did are and so the whole Garth Murray's Dark Place series is him, it's framed by his commentary about this. I just won't do it. That's that's like to me that's the prime. Matt Berry. And I was thinking like asking questions. And when you do, you listen to part of them at at some at triple speed. They're usually. And like you're carefully taking out each pod and trying to find the queen and maybe there's multiple queens and I love it.

and then we're gonna the whole time that always it's like well first of all get a get a fucking GoPro please don't be keep with one hand Mm-hmm. That's the pills that cause that. That's the one where where Sybil's in the hospital and Basil has to see I say Basil, I don't say Basil. R repeats. Yep, I go there often. Yeah. Perfectly was the mermaid the the voicemail that Jonathan Goldstein's oh saw back in Lahoya notes. I just love St. Like a virtual system, but where you could like forward messages to people and it became a way of like like we would forward emails later. But there's something about how the stuff that he wants is in La Jolla. Little mermaid can both go fuck yourselves. His f Jonathan Goldstein's mother looked down on him despairingly because he had this girlfriend she didn't like and they both liked the little mermaid too much, right?

Trump voters. However you feel about that, I hope you can at least get with the idea that wanting other things is a two-pronged super option for almost any dilemma in life. Remember that? their level of hairsuitness, but you know, you could spend your whole life trying to figure out how to grow hair on parts of your body where you wish you could grow hair, or you could learn to want other things. I think this podcast episode is a uh like 2020s Roderick on the line starter episode. If you are on testosterone, you are more likely to either lose your own. I've heard this for a long time. W hopefully you aren't and hopefully you can m ye unpack that because it feels like a it really feels like a I mean I I I would I would be I would feel bad in my heart I would feel bad in my heart if is I realized there are two important parts to that that I probably didn't articulate very well.

Hey, you know why I'm bald? I can't get as emotionally worked up about hair loss as other people because I don't have the problem. Oh, by all means do anything you can to find a hat that covers up your your head, you know, with hair. realizing it is who it is you actually are in life or realizing who you'd like to be in life like all of us and then like pursuing it in ways where like sometimes some of those things But you liked me. Oh, I'm I'm done. Pants. I mean on a gentle level, I want the world to know this is who I am, but I also want the world to have to accept who I am. Uh some guys who want m it' uh uh trans guys who want bottom surgery want a really specific kind of dick and uh cis guys often want a certain kind of dick and it's like a way it makes total dick, you want your dick.

If you didn't get, and do you follow what I'm saying? Combover is a very general word. You have to accept, in order for your wig to be plausible, you have to accept the grayness and paucity that comes with the hair of a man your age. Like I just I just did a pretty radical shave all over and I I noticed a receding hairline more. uh for like kinda like I just I don't wanna be weird. that it's difficult to execute a plan until you notice there's a problem that requires a plan. I used to I think it mentioned I mentioned this in the talk where I cried. But it's vital for everybody to be a well-rounded person, in order to become a well-rounded person, you have to also want other things, not different things.

Yes, unfortunately what part of what stuck also is what you were specifically this San Francisco thing That and I'm not a weirdo. Is that how you say it? So I could carry around for the rest of my life this idea of like, hey, my whole fantasy trip to San Francisco got ruined because I didn't bone down with enough twenty-two-year-old Asian girls, which is not even my thing, oddly enough. Well that's what for me can get really unhealthy. And because I was lucky enough to be like, alright, I want other things. Oh gosh, no, what is what is the line? But vitally, because we need to wrap this up, you also need to want other things. Stalin gives this order that would not one step back. I I think that if if I spent my whole life wanting a race car bet or I spent my whole life wanting to be, you know, if I had stuck with those ideas, I would be avoiding the fact that I could choose to want other things.

If you never amend that or update that, you start losing track of why you ever wanted a Viking range in the first place, or why you ever wanted hair in the first place, or why you ever want an Asian girlfriend in the first place. The one thing that you've wanted your entire life and you still want more than is to still hurt somebody's feelings because that's what feelings do. And I can tell you at least one of those reasons has nothing to do with you, which is that that was never an easy gig, and it's a less easy gig now. Like you're are you still f chasing something that you first never actually wanted all that much? Where you would just go the same way that some Code would go, like, oh no, no, I'm gonna be a doctor.

This is Do by Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Alex Cox and Merlin Mann. The right way? 3, 2, 1, this is due by Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Alex Cox and Merlin Mann. And I start to think it's something that you think is real. Want different things. And then I kinda figured that 'cause that's how I do the intro each week, yeah. Yes. I did it on I did it on Monday with Roderick. 'Cause to me that that's fudge bucket is one of the funniest phrases because you get to use that vowel sound twice. Oh my god, how many Adderalls have you had or not had? or whatever, I'd seen those pictures of insects that looked like they were a pu pupa or something, like all white w white and wizened and and with like but with mushrooms growing out of their eyes.

No mm mm. Um a comedy was is or wasn't a comedy group, I believe you two have loved, which is the whitest kids you know. It's it's it's gonna this is gonna generate a whole list. And the main bit that people know is yes, I can hear you, Clem Fandango. I could I could grit something. And he's but he's mostly I just remember seeing this God it's raining all the time. No way. watching and re-watching and re-re-watching Garth Moringi's Dark Place. Yes, I can hear you, Clint Fandato. And uh I will drop in the audio. And his producer, who believe it or not, had never acted before. And then he takes his he's gonna take his horror stories and turn it into this TV show about a haunted hospital. Okay, I am ready.

But that's that's why it's good. Yes. Wanna start the show? I'm compelled to be your friend, Alex. in a way that makes sense. Big fat quiz of the year, and I've seen almost every episode of When I Lied to You, at least in part. I don't like this. It I just I rem I remember wanting to ask why you liked Russell Brand. things settle in as those images and you have you have backup and archive, but then you've also got buckets. Um but this it makes sense that you would s okay, you watch a lot of clips of things and you wanna skip to the the best part. But when I s see that, sometimes I'm like, it feel why would I watch this if I just am gonna skip to a part like it's a little bit more than a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a I do list the the books that I do.

No. Or as they call it DOS chapters. How do you pronounce it? Sanders. Because from the time I remember listening to Merlin Man, you have recommended various forms of British media with enthusiasm that most of sh No, no, no, I no, this is a really good point. Like now if if all of the Brits were taken away from you uh if Richard Iawadi was taken away from you, uh you'd be sad. Yeah. And it was so thrilling to get to hear one of my childhood heroes on a podcast. I'm not even here anymore. Uh the golden apple. is that wherever he was going to college, they had some kind of an internal system where every student had like a phone number, right? Yep, and it it jumped to uh No it was a g there's no ghost is is it just by is that what it was?

What's what's happening? like something she doesn't want to do and like but anyway she's like yeah make good choices. I'll speak for myself. You're not a Sherlock Holmes novel, what the fuck? A a l a lot I a lot of at least millennial trans men st start taking finestrae at the same time they start uh uh or at least it like if they are at least in their twenties, they'll When I was a kid, there was exactly two men who weren't skinheads. the thing that I was saying to Roderick that was kind of about getting him to want other things. plenty of disguise. You like that I said? I am going to say this again. I can't have this now. There 'cause like, you know, it's I don't know, maybe I'm oversimplifying it, but you're in a world where part of the hustle is The sometimes the thing we things we want as queer people are uh going to make us more of who we are, make us more comfortable.

Tiny sock. Like a proper a proper name change 'cause it's a way of saying like it means a lot to me that this is who I am. So I don't feel bad at all because like I feel the same way that like it sounds so simple. Or whatever. aren't actually to make us more of our s selves, but because we want to be a part of the binary that we say we don't believe in and we say that shouldn't matter. And like I don't think anybody generally I think if you want to be a weirdo and you have control over it and the context, that's one thing. And uh that is at once at once complicated and not complicated. in whatever way that is. That's it's kind of shocking when you think about it now. Please. And because this, oh God, all right, I'm just gonna talk and we'll see how it goes.

And then the part that I we probably don't have time for, but I'd love to get into at some point is the really big second part. But like so I could uh the another example I used to use in Morals in Only Man, I used to talk about actually you know what this is a pretty good example. You can still remember the feeling of having wanted a race car bed, but you could go out and buy a race car bed today. The Simpsons, fuck. Because in your head, you've just been saying race car bed over and over for 40 years. Where my my definition of priority has gotten actually sharper over the years, not more yielding. If the only thing you super want above all others, let's come up with something silly so we don't hurt someone's feelings.

fancy cooking stoves that like like fancy people have. on the thing that we want, what naturally happens, what naturally must happen. I have to, God, this is my second college. I think there's a big difference between what should I what should I do? But like if all I want what I want is a guarantee no more attempts on my father's life. But I think I think both parts are important. operationalizing things in your life. Because like and then I say bucket and then I say it again. A v video that I mean I guess s spoilers, uh it it is an upsetting video of zombie ants And this video makes an appearance in weapons, like the specific uh uh video, I believe it was the same. uh in particular the sub the the surprising effect on animals that certain kinds of like fungus can have in this case cordyceps and that's the first time before I ever knew about the last of us White and wizened.

Um he uh is a guy who was a guest on an episode of Blank Check, and uh I didn't realize until they mentioned it, I think pretty far in, that he's in Is that right? kind of technically obscure unless you've watched Glengarry Glenn Ross as much as I have. Now, see, it's hard to describe though if people haven't seen it, but it like it's just funny that there's a whole running bit on Toast of London where Matt Berry is very reluctantly helping make ends meet by doing voiceover work How much have you watched? Um in that case this is all staying in. Understood. of each actor just and anyways. It's really good. Mm-hmm. So that's good. No, because I don't quite understand how it works. not simply inaccurate but non-existent.

Everyone has different YouTube now. I hope nobody I hope nobody understood that joke. I think that you have always been British pilled because you always have to be a little bit more. Biggest the the biggest example, obviously, Doctor Who. No. Like is uh I don't know what good good means. Oh. The say it again. That episode is part of why I live where I No kidding. what happened and why it's funny. That's a very entertaining way to speak. Uh wait, really? Want different things. She has that one a very funny line, but it's mainly her very funny reading of this line. And I know that sound that sounds mean and it's it's I'm not trying to be unkind to anybody, but however you feel about the weird sensitivity of guys about their hair.

by like a a few uh trans men because you make a very important point that you again just made It was not an acceptable solution. you all I wanted to say in in saying one other things and I want to come back to like what that why I keep making a little joke about that phrasing personally, I can I think I can understand it. one other it just f for show you can talk all you want theoretically that I um there are things that I want as well or things I want to happen and it's like okay do you I Pants are not the problem title. Ye yes, but that's an easier, more obtainable thing that isn't necessarily like um As much as you might look at Frank Sinatra and go, God, you're so needy to be like the most successful singer in the world and still be weird about your hair, but like he also had the presence of mind to get a plausible wig Right.

Mm-hmm. every PE class, there would be a point where you just said, Okay, half of the boys take your shirt off. or there's these things that you think you've always wanted. Um like like perception, cognition, processing, decision making. And like, you know, I've always seen myself as somebody who has lots of hair, or like I've always wanted a nice car. You started to notice something about yourself and your life and then you keep kind of rehearsing that that's the thing that you want. like um South Korean girl who went to art academy and we'd have funky sex and like listen listen to techno together and instead I met the woman I'm married to and I'm in love with and like Anne, Anna, Kendrick, type in Pitch Perfect might say, you know, make good choices.

You know, like if you were when it's one thing to like be obsessed with wanting a race car bed when you're nine, but then if you get to 30, 40, 50, like Um, maybe I want a different thing to change about my appearance or maybe but just as you get older, those kinds of things happen. That's a totally laudable goal. because you wanted that thing. or for that matter, like I can't I can't go to this event because I've got, you know, the LSAT in the morning. Like consider deprioritizing in the same way that I don't think you need to have as many strong opinions as you have. for what the thing is that you might actually want, and maybe stop thinking solely about what it is that you want and think more about what you've got and what's out there and how you can contribute.

episode transcription, but but the uh voices at the beginning make it all confused. You good? Um because I bet your computer would work, but in M1 it's it's like mm, you don't get exactly exactly then I use that to build things. I'll get re-interested in the toolboxes once the next show. Because you sent me a very good episode of the podcast, Blank Check, with a the guest. Because it's so fucking weird. an eighties shadow over his face so that he looks a little bit So you don't know you don't know So like you don't know anything about what this is, right? Oh, I love a good bane bit. See that is a great scene. Like you wouldn't call somebody an invalid anymore, right? I still don't understand.

It does. Which is not a movie. one of you would ever in a million years be able to recognize, and yet I keep saying it. And I watched um and then I didn't. And I I in my bra uh you're you're describing these shows and I'm trying to build a lot of your entire life. Don't that is a casino on the strip in Las Vegas and I've been there and it's not that nice. Where it was 24 hours at the Golden Apple, right? That show is just like the the early parts of it uh I I think flight versus invisibility might be the first thing I Want nude. Two pronged solution. M men, all usually all men, yes, very sensitive about their hair, especially trans guys, because that help you become who you are are you have more access to than others.

I I get like both the the the the sympathy and the frustration. Um, I sleep in a bed with my wife. And then eventually that became a priority is the is the thing that you give the most attention to and then the other things are allowed to die. even though everything else must die. like uh prosumer, you know, cook until I have a Viking. Want different things. Is it other and not different? Oh, par parakeet. No, I should have. I It's like what do you w wow how do you want me? If it helps. a funny Britishism, but I didn't. I know I know how far I'm going. You know, whatever you do, don't mention the war. The no. a funny voicemail by his mother. I I I uh spoilers, I suppose, because I don't remember.

start uh HRT and uh take finasterite at the same time. It was the the uh the opposite. But I I think I think I I think I get where you're going with it though. Ah, well put it in notes. The uh um but that's wait what you weren't. Uh I again I am casting a v a very wide net. And like Oh, okay, yes. like um bowl cut style like Mo from the Three Stooges or you know Claudia Wink Winkleman style frame. Oh god. Right? Have you ch have you re-metered? You gotta want other things. What parts of your all that entire stack from perception all the way through follow through and you know um That you don't have, potentially, if we're being honest, it's something you can't have, at least in the version you think you can have it.

But like, you know, maybe you've been habituated to having questions. something that we got for a while, which is Richard Ayowati with a comedian I'm not particularly fond of. Like there's always at least two invalids and their lives are awesome. But but because I've never had to worry about it. Are you saying go ahead? Plausible wig. that well let's do the whole thing first you gotta realize right we're back to that Merlin's big stack in the sky right like cognition Whenever you find yourself, you notice, and God bless you if you've gotten far enough to notice what it is you want in life, because a lot of people don't. All these all these lost lost opportunities, tears and rain, all these things are gonna be not doable.

Tell I said hi. I have discovered even. Uh oh no, I have not. It would be funny if I knew the name of the actor. If a YouTube video is really boring, sometimes I hold down and then it goes at 2x, but Do you do that on Apple TV ever? He nervous talks the whole time. Oh, interest you know One handed beekeeper, and that was not ableist, because I'm sure there's some very able able you know what? I don't remember. It was a cool episode. I thought that was um Jonathan Goldstein, but I think uh my first Jonathan Goldstein, which I you either w I I think won't remember this or we'll be able to quote it. you know, um um like about what I've always wanted to be. All right. I forgot to tell you I just gotta push this out.

Where'd you where'd you lose your keys? Dark place. And I I guess somebody sent me a bit where he's a character in the Lego he plays Bane in a Lego Batman movie. Y you have uh made a great point as to why that feature no, it's not the one you say. The Hilly Joel the the uh Oh I like Hilly Joel Osmant too. Socks. And but same with your little hair hat. Consider consider if you have an updated idea of the things that you think you want in life and are you pursuing it in a wholesome way. So anyway, I think I'm done ranting. Matt Berry contains multitudes. Good. There's qu there's a question and there's an answer. Thank you. you would be overlooking a lot of potentially really potentially wonderful things.

People who listen to this are going to think I'm okay. What did I just say? And that's absolutely not what this is about. When you have a decision like this is the thing I'm going to do, then it means you need to mourn the thing and it's Have you looked into other options? Uh uh. Am I still allowed to use that pronoun? Always as a public. LaJolla. You're making any smaller. You guys know. Like I don't think I've ever, I mean I've had couple three conversations ever with Judy where she's like, you have a lot of hair or like blah blah blah. This is one of those times I immediately had the question, did he mean to say that or was it just It's more that like I I'm really enjoying you cutting up the floor of this shed to remove the single largest beehive I've ever seen in my life.

It's too late. What? This is the this is the uh Heck One. The challenge this week is to want other things and this comes up uh as a result of something we talked about on Roderick on the line and it's the way I put it to John was to me it sounds like the kind of thing, God who am I thinking of? It's something I could find valuable is that I think the example I use specifically, and this is I don't mean to drag anybody who's sensitive about The hospital's got a reputation, which I intend to keep. And it's kind of like a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit Hmm.

And you know, and and really and and then in my twenties and thirties, faulty towers. Nugget. How about that can how about that canary kit, huh? Tim Robinson said he was inspired by Stephen Toast. Because I think poor invalids probably don't do as well. Yes. You like that? Yes. Um it'll come to us, no, but it'll come to us. It's going great. Another it I I said my three sentences. You got mad at me for making uh uh fun of him one time and I forget why. He's Irish. Mm-hmm. I'm not gonna wait until I forget. Do you want to talk about the challenge, Alex? Yes. Sandwich. Do you follow does that make sense? I say that about it. No, no, no. Just just that examining why you want the thing. This is due by Friday.

What have you built recently? It was a war like a it was such a cool show. I don't have a way to prove this, but what I've heard for a long time, and you'd hear it from guys back when it was I'm so glad guys can shave their head. And all that it requires in this world. That is the war cry of Sheldon, their tall leader. Okay, so that's why I didn't spell it with the K. You mean for flutes? You're so close. I'm like, well, I don't know, sin. They came up in that context, and I think uh we've talked way too much about hair for my comfort at this point. Say the right name for the challenge. And maybe here the fact that we're doing at, as far as I know, I don't know if you have a way to change this, but as far as I know, we're currently speaking at 100% speed.

I think you've always been British filled, but now it's like it's really taken. Uh anyway, that helped. Hey brother. This is Do by Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Alex Cox and Merlin Mann. Oh, oh I see. I have not this is not the one associ this is not the spin-off of uh of Three, two, one, play. Okay, there is an important visual gag, but several important visual gags. Uh probably. I don't know why I'm afraid. It's like rubbing a dog's nose and it's poop. Uh but like cis men also want hair in certain places. I g I j What are you talking about? I think that I don't know, you claim to listen to podcasts, you listen to books, I think you listen to everything at triple speed. But and so you hold up your hand, and in the United States, I would personally throw out, I would have my my the back of my hand facing towards you probably.

The golden nudge? Uh button. Are you on a different show right now? If they're not listening to that podcast right now, I think a lot of my co-hosts don't understand the podcasts are in audio format. Robot. How many have you updated your idea of a lot of those things? And so I and and I don't know. It is. That's such a good movie. That uh uh there Oh my gosh, my heart just grew by three sizes this day. It's no fun when you can't play basketball very well. Isn't that a great opening scene for a movie? Did you know that? Oh, oh, I no, I do know what that is. Is it plural? Okay. And you really do have to watch it. Well, I would just like to underscore in a way that doesn't really matter to our relationship or the show, but uh you've done absolutely nothing to show how I've always been British pilled.

It is a diner in Chicago open twenty-four hours. Oh it's the it's the one it's the the want other things thing, right? Okay, well that's great for people who look at their computer. Okay, but how did I notice there was something wrong with my refrigerator? So on the one hand, the option that always hangs before us that and this is so fucking complicated. Oh my god, there's a line from a show I'm about to totally botch. Yeah. A yellow You gotta do it in the voice. I don't care. I love a lot of bane bits. Yeah. I need to figure it out. Not content, but like they change up the UI all the time and it drives me boss. He mentioned it once, but he thinks he got away with it. Let's do it once more and this time this time let's do it correctly and without a question mark at the end.

Two-pronged super something? Go ahead, keep talking while I find this. He makes me very happy. It's pronounced the same. It's a good show. The golden apple. Oh god like Zach. The presence of mind it takes to say, give me a wig with a receding hairline takes a lot of self-knowledge and self-tame way. Yeah. And like in your case, think about the myriad of personal opportunities, social opportunities, job offers, you know, whatever comes along. Not it's Bane at the football thing is fine. I would get so many more breaks if everybody knew I was an invalid. Well, no, what you really want is the status symbol of this five-figure oven or however much it costs. I was doing a bit and uh I had meant uh see now that's a joke inside of a joke.

Is that okay? But then sometimes I get a little pop-up that goes, Okay, fine, I'm skipping the parts people skip. No. There has to be this is a little bit inside baseball, but I appreciate that in order to un explain so this is a story of Jonathan Goldstein got left. Because if he got a wig like a Beatles wig, he would look absurd. Another thing in the at my in the 90s was the George Clooney-inspired Caesar cut that a lot of guys with receding hairlines would get. But see see where I'm going with this. Where'd you lose your keys? Should I get my kid to start working on a comb over? I mean th for for me, thinking, okay, I am going to have a l uh life like my parents where I get married and have kids and I am in uh the suburbs What what are things I could do about this?

Yes. Sorry. Sandwich. It's on um staging right now. I usually say it, no, I want you can do your version. I feel so guilty about that joke. So it's no, it's just his mom leaves a message. But the but then the ability to do that, like and now it must seem so tantalizingly close to a lot of people. I've been w I've wanted things a lot in life that I couldn't have or didn't have or was losing or saw as like part of an old me. And it's not at all shocking how much I hated it. God, I almost had it. Oh, weird allorace. Alright. There's this guy named Garth Merengue who is a prolific science fiction writer who is very proud of the fact that he's written more books than he's read. Wow, she that's mean.

Maybe I will at some point. I'm working on this degree. It doesn't work for me, cause uh M1 Mac. I mean yes. Um I'm sorry listeners. I'm I I can hold back the questions. You and Little Mermaid can go fuck yourselves. But like there's certain kinds of things where like I always wonder, do you have to talk how comfortable are you talking to your operator about what it is that you want? Well that has that's gonna have really big consequences if you make that make that your law. Right and wizened. Is that hurtful? Like uh for well when they say they want one, two, or three, which we all found out. It makes way more sense. It's very well done. Yeah, and the other common thing is really wishing you had a beard and uh not being able to grow it.

Like, well, what is it about the Viking in particular that you've gotta have? Because if you haven't updated that idea about the race car better the Asian girl. Awesome. So what are my takeaways from that? Um I cleaned my area. I can't find the books. And that's that's why Jonathan Goldstein is Jonathan Goldstein. Uh it is a very good episode, and uh it uh has been uh passed around uh You need to plan ahead, almost in the way a tactician in in the military would say, well Check your transmission. I just can't hear the word bucket or like think about the word bucket without going bucket. Wait a second, which I'm not important. How many looks does it take to get to the middle of a Tootsie Pop? Because that was a very common word for my entire childhood and adulthood.

He had a receding hairline when he was sixteen. Oh you can hear my keyboard in or at least I can on my microphone. And for some reason, the way Alan Arkin kind of unemotionally just says yes is very, very funny to me. And as Alex said, if y'all know him, if you don't know him, there's a lot of fun. They start with the thumb, right? This is the Charlie Con. Are you listening to another show on Triple Speed? Yes. Um I hear that line every day from my spouse. Um, but the uh you could go out and buy that race car bed today. But it it's it's something that is a very it's something that's been on my mind for a long time, but a pretty fresh thought technology, qua thought technology. Would you like an explanation?

Never mind. The question was is that the guy who lists in uh who interviews And I I didn't I certainly don't mean it in any kind of an unkind way. Remember Zach on Survivor? Are you saying that? Did you know this is a good idea? Yes. Yeah. Excuse me, Mr. Hey everybody, welcome to Do By Friday. But that's a good reason to use the skip to uh m most popular w that that's what I see in my browser because you know it's Okay. Tiny sock. Yeah. Or I've always wanted to be a rock star or whatever. Right? How are you? Is this all right, I think I see a pulp fiction wig or maybe I just let's just take it for what it is rather than what we imagine it to be. That's not what the phrase is. Yeah, I think I might know why.

Well I'm not I'm not I'm not promoting it. There there's not many poor invalids. Boot and boat. No, no. It's about well, I think something much deeper. Fudge bucket. Yeah. And then what you do remember is a version of it that that somehow you've settled on. I Now you know. Talked about when I I had this this fantasy that um when I moved to San Francisco I was gonna meet a a super cute You understand what I mean? Well I'm glad to hear things uh Okay, so what what uh apart from your funny bit that you opened with, what what else was there? I do too. You really do have to like pay attention to Darth Merengi's Darth Merengi. Nobody clicks videos anymore, but this is this is my not true. This is my um 30-second pitch, and unfortunately there's no way to get to all the levels about why I think this is great, and unfortunately, again Dean Lerner had never acted before.

Okay. I watched Doctor Who when I was in junior high and high school. And different people would be there and reporting on what happens at that diner during the 24 hours. And then in order to explain why this was funny and why it was an early example of non-computer virality, Is it okay? And they're like, no, because I have so much testosterone. Yeah. Um Matt Berry. I can't just leave it an unsolved thing. It is a good show. I mean it's always important, right? And you're you've been envy of envious of them your whole life. Have you looked into other things? But that's that's okay. And his is very good. It's all online if you're not watching all on YouTube. It would almost be funny if I knew the name of the actor.

Like it's become like wallpaper, I guess, but like that show is really important to me. Uh if I say this to my wife all the time. I'm I'm going to amend this. I think it's when they're in the car. I bet that's what gets you so confused. This week's challenge is uh Want Something uh No good choices will will be made. I don't know. There were exactly two men that were completely bald, and that was Telly Savalis and Jul Brenner. Yeah. Or tell me what to do and tell me what my options are. Zero. But as it builds and builds over time, you know, you get to one, I think even fairly early on, where he walks into the studio and his sheet is on the stand of what what he needs to read. Call it Sanchez, or you'll get a knuckle supper.

I've yet to see any demons on the ward, and I'm particularly observant. I think you should I think you should try it. And that was because his I guess girlfriend at the time and him both liked The Little Mermaid. Because it sounds like just dumb wordplay. It's a woman. Yes Yes And it just it it keeps going and you can see like a f And I finally broke my rule and showed it to Madeline. And I don't want to sound like a you know millennial, but like, you know, there's times where I just sends a 3x speed Yeah, so isn't it Fassbender? Say the one that it's not. I've got to do something with this. But as ever, you know, the real life hack is love. No. Nothing I want to share. Alex and I think words like hello and yes can be funny, and that's why we say it a lot.

You're thinking the thing Brooke's talking about, probably. But like you go and look go look at Mark Strong. Like I don't wanna be the the one in the room who sticks out as a weirdo And this is where I run into trouble with my friends who use the word priority differently than I do. Want the reason I wanted to do that is because I've been having uh great great success with Go ahead. That is profound in in in a way. That's great. Um let's see. It's the Hulu show. Nugget. Um I would would you I'm gonna read it. They must be in La Hoya. Um it reminded me and a number of my friends that sometimes the things that we want aren't Except I say not always but but it's not your voice always. This is why I need to make an official list.

But he'd say things like, you know, they they don't they don't they don't respect us and and Alan Arkin goes, yes. Did you know I have a signed poster? Oh God. No, if you've got a if you've got a way to take this somewhere really good with a concept we haven't really explained yet, please by all means do. I'll push this to production. And I bet with me anyway, by virtue of the fact that you listen to some part of some podcasts Something like that. It just gets confused and now it has poop on its nose. Yes. Say say the right say this you're very funny. Sinatra, but I don't seem to recall you being Chinese. I truly forgot she existed. If I'm being really honest. That was a good looking person. That's pretty good.

Okay, one problem is like you think about those things that people say like The big yellow one's the sun. What do you have for lunch? You're gonna make me go into Donna mode. Try to catch me white and wizened. It's the same thing as to which nothing compares. The I think though, that's you've you you have the canonical bane and just like the yeses, there should be a And for some reason, wait, wait, the the American or the German? Tell me about that. But it was it was something like that. Like if you continue to stick with that to where you are right this second, you would probably not be a very happy person. There's just some words that are that yeah, I just hear in oh I couldn't even begin, but there's so many words I I I will always hear it in a certain voice.

You texted me a in a very good episode of Blank Jack that I was ha I was like, oh cool, this is it has one of my d favorite directors. That's why it's perfect. And uh it's like you had the pills, they were they were there, uh-huh, but you weren't addicted. No, that's Manuel. I think about it all the time. It's complicated because of what's involved in trying to pursue it. Or whatever it's called. Somebody's asked you a question and the answer is fudge bucket Have you ever heard me say the the following thing? I'm I'm done. Yeah. Oh gosh, no, this is from like two thousand three or four. Because they can't sleep. A boot. I didn't watch Doctor Who at all until Tenant after that. Yeah, I mean believe me, yeah.

Say the thing that I said. No, I understand. Yeah, exactly. It was great. Okay. Who is they? Like they're in and the quote are they rich? Yeah. Is this are you listening to that guy who interviews Trump voters? There's this stack, at least in my mind, about how all that stuff works. Whoa. Absolutely not. I know, yeah, but like it you don't say it the same. But when there are um animals That's when you become a sandwich commando, yeah. He was in that movie Sixth Sense. It might be at the office or the restaurant. And I'm trying to see, is this one I've seen before? You and Little Mermaid can go fuck yourself. Preemptive comb over title? And also I will save I will save you just by saying this is an imp if you start poking around in this topic, it is an almost it is at least an improbably deep topic.

And then I'll explore those options like say an adult. I say bucket, and then I'll go bucket and then I'll go like fudge bucket. You know, obviously Bane breaking his back, awesome. I don't even know how to do it. And and they got the pie, they sell more pies because they got that uh the spinning pie thing. But also why do I want this? If I do that, there's less of a chance I'll be a weirdo. Maybe. Oh that's cool. I want to see if it's Richard Ayawade and Noel Fielding as opposed to I was obsessed with faulty towers. You know, because there's but there's never any new American lives, I don't think. Uh what I was trying to do. It's like James Baldwin says, you've got to sell people on who you are, not just the idea of who you are.

And that's why Sinatra and Tony Bennett had such good they they had each those those rogues cost seventy five grand and uh and and you have to have this is so brilliant to me. I would never want to do lawn work. So I gotta skip over those. Keep the trouble off me. And where she goes, make good decisions or what is it, make good choices Two-pronged super. But y you know, I've always heard those guys, those baldy guys with the with the earmuffs on the side like Lobot, I've always heard those guys say Um I would be sad in my heart if it you if it sounded like I was directly speaking to trans men about how they shouldn't want hair. I sleep I sleep in a bed with my wife like a big boy. Boo boo whoa, what's going on your neck of the woods?

That's pretty good. And like, if that's all you want and it's still out of reach I've got to become a preeminent documentary filmmaker who's interviewed on TV. And maybe it's time to open up, look across the horizon, feel, don't feel ashamed to scan the horizons and the skies But but but no, I I'm really just not that interesting interested in the toolbox. What's your canonical yes? I can never quite get that that that like owl-like tone that Max used to get. I I I Can you believe he never acted before? My middle finger would be two, right? Basil has to uh mount the moose head while uh while his wife's getting her in grown toe out. And like my thing and what is I I think your point was yeah, it you're gonna be sensitive about it.

Oh god. I know this is a silly example, but but hear me out. It's part of a therapy thing, probably. I fixed it in all the previous ones, so I'll just push out that change. Oh that uh transcription is getting really good. I cleaned my area. And it makes way worse. He's from Barcelona. I haven't watched any of it. Um you want to do the challenge? Well I'm glad you got that all wired. I think yeah, I think it was it wait, it might have been ba bay that oh you gotta f I'm gonna see if I can find the whole thing. I imagine him going. It was not something that I got hung up on. Fudge bucket. No. That's that that's the thing. But then he's going like, yep, so oakley dokally, here we go, cutting this part.

A boat. I have a poster signed by a bunch of the people. I'm not going to wait up all night for you. I thought about it yesterday evening. Like, um, I it's why why would I call to get my refrigerator fixed unless there's something wrong with my refrigerator One of the things that frustrates me when I talk to people about the dingus is, you know. Canary kit. I saw it twice this weekend. That's okay, just fine for I had never heard that. And the guy in this, Richard Ayowade, plays the administrator of the hospital. And then he's also got that one show oh shoot, what's it called? But like e th if if all you ever saw was the scene on the plane with Tommy Carsetti, aka Littlefinger. I'm just saying that I've very much gotten the habit of going dick dick dick to to like know how far you know I know when I'm want to hit dick dick dick I st I remember questions, I don't remember bits.

You know I ever seen that? I'm putting in the third episode came out last night. And like I bet if I'd had that experience, I would be much more like Oh, And I want the world to All I'm trying to say is I like the simplest version I can come up with, I think, is On the one hand, I could say, look, um, I thought by this point Well, probably you did. Because maybe one reason you're happy is that you theoretically, more than anything in the uh else in the world, want something If you listened at normal speed, you'd be able to process all the information. The golden nugget? Fudge bucket nugget. This I'm gonna uh endorse this and I'm not suck I'm I'm gonna Roderick That makes me so happy. I can put it, I I'll put it in hopefully a more like anime.

Yes. We're constantly pushing aside all of these other things that aren't a Viking range or an Asian girl. I tried. Would you really like an explanation? I forgot Matt Berry saying yes. I think you have always been uh British pilled. They were trying to f they they had to try to find the guy and figure out why. It sounds like somebody like a mean parent or principal saying, like, well you're good at science, go do science. And that was just something we did all the time. Great, but I would like to say three sentences with zero interruption. But the point is stay focused, stay on target. Excuse me, Mr. Never mind. So brutal. This week's challenge So this was also purely serving me. Do you call her Clara or Clara?

Like I've got a full head of I've got a dense full head of hair and so I don't have access to the self-consciousness This week's challenge, want other things. Try to catch me white and wizened. But I remember Good Point Not Fassbender. Yes. If I'll bet you if I started losing my hair, like my friend Rich. Well at the and that's the thing. That's almost I mean, also it's got one of my five one of my five favorite words in it. They both come. I'd like to know completely what others so discreetly talk about. Like I guess that could be something like, oh I've always wanted to be a doctor. So this is good for the show? Well, y there's a potential security issue with our relationship as well in the universes we occupy.

Look, Daggus, you're an excellent doctor. Because, you know, like candy, I've come to hate my body. I cleaned it again today. The mind, the mind has to turn over in itself what is you? Did you understand the reference to Zonder Commandos? I never found out why. What's challenge this week, Alex? And like it's just that I I I like to remind myself I just can't say those words w without Brian Regan in vain. But there's this one scene, I think I've mentioned this before, but I think it's when they're in the car and Ed Harris is pitching Alan Arkin on Stealing the Glengarry leads. I can. You know, Germans listen to podcasts and they love chapters. Yeah, the unlike their fingering, which I've been British pilled because now I also say Lou Sanders, because I've never heard anyone ever say Lou Sanders.

Uh challenge this week, Alex. Um but like if I wanted to get a wig right now, I s I would not get a wig that gave me God Roder or um excuse me, Syracuse and I were talking about the phenomenon of shirts and skins last night. I don't know, whatever your example would be. I don't understand why you would say something like that. You ever been to the diner they go to in Chicago? Mark Strong with like weird hair versus no hair, completely different thing. The yes, yeah. At this I used to say, what did I say? I tried. Is there something that you're supposed to be taking that you're not taking? They can't sleep. Have you seen the new thing where it's like skips it skips the parts most people skip? I just don't hear it much anymore.

You stated on this podcast that you didn't mean to be unkind to anyone But here's the here's the critical twist is the want other things. Um, all you've ever really wanted was a Viking range. If you're okay, so think about it in your terms. This Crager guy was uh which sounds like a terrible nickname for a frat boy Now I'm not about to tell the immediate family of the deceased that we're going to have to burn what remains of his body in order to close the portals to another dimension. Yeah, why he just made an evil owl, not a Something we made in the mid-2000s. So that's that's something I've heard for a while, and that is true with people who are on the T. And uh with me and a few of my friends, it's like, okay.

I imagine him going. Want different things. But anyways, Ed Harris is getting really worked up Um the Satra. And uh it's you can buy pants. The new fast one, the canary one. Okay. Well no, I gotta I've gotta I've gotta like parcel it all out. It's not the golden nugget. Goodbye. Well his mom is his mom. Do you think that's something a lot of people don't know? I finally broke down and just told my kid what the secret is. But it's a sign the thing I sometimes in my better moments try to say with myself But would that make you a happy person? And maybe on some level you've thought like I won't really feel like a good home cook, like a fully like All right, whatever. I gotta protect my hands. I think are very different questions.

Now say it the right way. Is it good good? I'm gonna shut up now and please tell me about this. Oh. So brutal. People, me, us, all. That's all figured out and the quality of life improvements are already beginning to pour in. Ew, ew. And I did it in the skeeviest way. Wow. They both they both flow freely. I understand. I don't have a canon I don't know if I have a canonical yes. Yeah. So I just want to see who the guests are. It it's also a 24-hour diner in Chicago for some. Say it again. Yeah. I would I wanna write like a uh like a spec script for a comedy show, a pilot, and try to pitch it right now? Bo boxing. I like I like the little mountains. In Agatha Christie books I have nothing but simian noises to make.

What are you doing? Oh, I want to get rid of my boobs and it's a good thing. If you if you it's important to want other things, you can always choose to want other things. It was with us the all the time. I cleaned it up good. And it's like no no no now I gotta go back. Russell Brand. If it was way too long and way too dark, you have to have the hairline of a man your age. Like, okay, I notice I'm a little uncomfortable about my hairline. I'm done. Huh. I'm like, yeah, it's going up a little bit here on the sides. You could say to somebody, one other thing. Keep going. And they've in they've replaced the noun you with the letter U. I think it w on Seth And that's not even gonna get you into like the terrible ADR.

Yeah, I have not seen it other than clips, but it is Well you know the Bane we love our Bane bit Dracula. I got it as a premium. Three two-pronged super solution? Almost every morning. So the one other things, the one other things is like Hold on. Oh by by the way And it and the BBC wouldn't air it. But Bane Bane when he still has the hood on. I was in your fudge bucket. Okay, I've got it. That's why I said if I want to take a third cut at it? That's really awesome. I wish that's not true. He's probably best known now for playing Laszlo on what we do in the shadows. A lot of questions. And that's why I sometimes say things that only But it's not complicated at all. So close. You know, and and the the tone of voice is kind of like I'm sorry, I took you.

See? Right. Yeah, yeah. Well, why don't you want a race car bed anymore? But you know, put in your example here. Oh no, I don't. That's not good. So go back to your lab and make me a pill that can cure badness, or I'll kick your ass so hard you'll be able to build a pole in the footprint The the the housekeeper threw out all their dirt and now they can't sleep when they're in Las Vegas. Bazinga. You've had a lot of theories of as to why. Good theory. See, some people will call her Clara. You ever seen Faulty Towers? Goodbye. It's it's a dumb example, but it's a familiar example. How are you, Merliman? I mean it's i do you mean that in a backpac like you don't care about the b back back Are they usually rich invalids?

I think they did a great job. Oh, but it was like if Ali Joel Osman, you know, got got a beard. Yes. But like if you keep chasing that, think of all the things that you've set aside. I guess in the two or three hours of sleep you get a month. Something like that. My my only uh uh thing then m Merlin needs to say the more important uh Are you really saying But then the other one that's the secret, like really powerful punch is the want other things. This week's challenge What's your what is your uh what is your dad calling your mom? The guest was Oh my God Dracula. The golden nugget. Yes! Um I'm really drifting here. I'm trying to find the security update for Plex, and I think I might have already installed it, I hope.

Can you believe Dean Lerner had never acted before that? Because I was thinking I might want to become an inval I might want to become an invalid. No, the German way. That was a really well that was also I think a really well-told story because in order to understand Other than you know, most people can't write that well, let alone speak extemporaneously that entertainingly. Okay But like it sucks to be the one person in the room who's not like all the others. Alright, I see the flo And then you posted on Blue Sky What's your theory? Oh god. You're about to tell somebody three things. Tell me how I've always been British pilled. You ever been to that? Right? Oh gosh. Oh yeah. And uh we also need to recognize I can't make it any smaller.

Mm-hmm. But in your case, think of the times that that you would if you had stuck with that idea that I just made up Oh, that's the oh well I don't know if it's the canonical, but going back to Matt Berry saying yes. This is such an upsetting poster. But the way she's doing it is like it's funny in the in the context of the movie because it isn't isn't like the girls are going out to do something a little bit rowdy and I don't care. Can you can you hear me, Steven? Garth Merengi's Dark Place to like really get the feel of it. I was thinking, I I was urinating earlier and thinking about how you always ask so many questions There's no American lives. No. Dirt. I don't I don't like g I'm saving it for tonight.

You uh It's back in La Jolla You put it Priorities are like wings. I've more recently started to wonder if the true definition of a priority it's the one thing that has to live. No, I don't. This is I was uh the original thing I'm aware of where I first learned about I've got it on my plex but I haven't I just think Matt Berry is is is neat. You know what do we still say invalid? Cis men all like Well again I was about to say as I increasingly see well that's part of the problem. I speak English very well. Wasn't that how it worked? I could lose all my hair right now, and I don't think I'd care. The the real the real trick is like, hey, you fucking supposedly smart person Did you clean your desk?

I was like, just watch like just the beginning of this. That's Manuel, he's from Barcelona. How have you not watched all this good stuff? Pay me compliments. I've got it. And I'm not sure every user of the dingus gets that. I I love your I love your cr There's Inglorious Bastards. Okay, no, no, but I'm sorry. It's either ah What do you what do you call um what do you call um what do you call the Uh all I have for you is this. Nugget. And one of the the best Merlin on the man Merlin on the man's what Otherwise, you looked, you look completely ridiculous. But like you also like Yep. And I love that episode. Uh this week's challenge, want other things? I wish you would, but why I ought to But just sometimes you say really bananas things and then you say it more than once.

Boxin. You and the li Like I'm a scientist. Instead uh I I'm not saying this is what people are saying. I mean If all you ever if you had decided arbitrarily at some point in college, I'm gonna be This is see three my three sentences. I talk, I I I I'm very um Well again, that's why I'm saying and then what Fossbender messes up. I call her Clara because that's what they call her. This is a pants comic. Thanks. No, no, it's just a funny word, bucket. The one that goes through my head the most is one of the most I'm back on my bullshit with Matt Berry because I started I like the little mountain waveform that tells me this is where the good part is. What's it called? Yeah. Yes, Merlin, what is this week's challenge?

I didn't I don't what And that's it. And my pitch is that it's always an option to want other things. Tell me when you're ready, 3-2-1. Um It is a diner that is Yeah. Like we've all got those kinds of things. I just like the stuff. Now Matt Berry I'm gonna put a link in the show now because I'm gonna find out who the guy is. It changed everything. Well, you're a different person and you've learned to want other things. Fudge bucket. I've gotta figure. I just couldn't stand him not watching it and so I spoiled it for him. Okay. I because I'm I'm skipping through, I've seen almost every episode of There's no third acts, let alone uh I think I might have a Starly Klein on it. If you have think you have more than a couple, you either lying or crazy.

I'm I was I was doing I was doing a bit. This was the inspiration for the bones are their money and so are so are the worms and I And it became this viral sensation on campus where people started saying goodbye. I sleep in a big bed with my wife. Now do it right. Bit on my desk mat Tell me about it. Compliment me. There's all these like snake oils and patent medicine that can help Snap, snap, snap in a in a triangle. Probably not. Or is there something that you're sub that you've taken way too much of And I don't I don't know. Right. Or it could be something like I've always wanted to be good at golf. That's not the question. Say it properly I wasn't in the future. It sounds as simple as saying like like this is the way that and and and and whoa.

But Like one of those nice That Garth. So please would you watch this 31-second video with me Oh, Mel House is dad, fuck. Hey, how's it going? And if you like if you enjoy Matt Berry pronunciations, you're super gonna love N I've done everything I can to make a tiny sock I was thinking about that word the other day. It was really Like you were like people thought you had cancer if you didn't have hair. Or you you could allow me to just hop in for a second and try to give some examples. Little guy goes, Tiny sock. Yes! Oh god. Oh awesome. You're like, here's the three things I hate about you. And he because he wants it smaller so it fits fits him. It's like I always think about my friends with I love it.

He's got it, he's got it. It's it's August, or as we say in San Francisco, Fogust Cup of dirt. Okay. But no. Well it would hurt you if I think no it hurt you. One bit I used to say all the time Because as with a priority That's the problem This is not a big new content season So I guess we're gonna go Also, could you please say the name of that 24-hour diner again Ew, ew, uh And I found it very, very upsetting. And they did a they did a thing there a million years ago. Pants. The idea was just to say uh that it's something we could all What a beautiful song. Like I could choose to want The bit. Nothing. If th if the only all you ever saw was that one scene, like where he's still got the hood on his head.

No, no, um That's you you're a simian You might the pills that cause that It's just that I I can't Or is it? Were people able to tell you how you sound different? Michael Chicklis, this is a long story, right? That was a great way to start the show. You continue to not watch it. I'll see if I can find it. Okay, all right, so I'm not sure. But It's a very funny word I learned it from a book. I wouldn't want to portray it that way. If we become too fixated So it's still kind of a new idea for me. I'm sorry, I was doing a bit Keep going. No, this is just all rotter, even though you're the one who said it. And then the Germans are there. Yes! I was hoping that oh, that could be the intro. Completely, completely selfish.

Well well hang on a minute. Oh my God Cool it, Chance. Do we still say invalid? You should. He's like I swear to you. Because you and Roderick Even though What you remember is frequently But I like that guy a lot. Uh what Is it Anna Kendrick in Pitch Perfect? It it does actually make a lot of sense. Don't pay any attention to him. Um you and Little Mermaid can go fuck yourself. How just as a part of God, I love that movie so much. I'm not asking you to cut my steak for me. I think he's he's neat and he's funny and he's interesting. Ooh. Can I make my pitch now? Um but But you follow up like Where are you up to on uh Alien Earth? I know. Um but the uh what we said? And Hey everybody, welcome to Do My Friday transcriptions.

Was that it? This is very much something I've said. No, it's not the Simpsons, it's it's more like something from HBO. I well it's just a It wasn't good for the sense. Cool it, Sanchez. Is that considered ableist, honestly? He's from Barcelona. And it's just the word yes. Okay, so wait. Sh d it's Tiny sock. Fossbender. Hard pass. Okay, well Um raw transcript