399. That's Conclave

This is Do by Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Alex Cox and Merlin Mann. This week's challenge, track your imprinted phrases. Hello. Hello. Hello Good morning. Good. I'm after a morning for me. I don't care. It's 1040 AM here. Hmm. Did you get a good night's sleep? Representation matters. It it does. That's why I I'm saying multiple time zones, all the great time zones. Yes. I'm gonna put it in my bio. I'm gonna get oh oh. Merlin, would you say you have a calling or a cause in life? Yes. I think, you know, whatever it may be, you should take up the all-time zones matter and make a little filter. for your this is some kind of a funny joke for you. My my culture is not your costume. If you would check your privilege, if you would check your privilege for one second, you would let you would understand that I have maybe this is a new term for you, I have a lived experience that might be different than yours.

Or or really, this is the part that's the most galling, is that the lived experience that we all have should be exactly the same, which is we act like a person in their forties who went to college and understands that it's a different time everywhere. Mm-hmm. But there's some folks who have a pretty tough time with that. Now now listen, in in the time after Reconstruction, a lot of stuff happened. It was when we got some of our first um black people elected to Congress. P people were in power in ways that they wouldn't be again until the sixties and nineteen sixties in some cases, you know? But then there was a backlash to that, which eventually then of course led to Jim Crow. So it's not I'm not exactly saying that I'm like a freed slave.

Or as you say, a freed a freedman. Merlin Freedom. I know, but mine was a good thing. So difficult. You know, I say that sometimes in my head to people Oh, that your uh that your joke was funnier? I'd say it in my head. I'd say it in my head. Good for you because I say it out loud. And I'm usually wrong. Yeah, that's the that that's that's two differences. Yep. Yeah. Okay. Good, good. Alright, well we're on the right track. Here's the thing. Just because of where you were born, just because of how you were born, just because you were surrounded for your entire life by people on the East Coast who cannot be fucked to learn anything about another part of the United States. There are certain privileges that come with that and those guys like to close ranks and they are guys, let's be honest.

Almost everybody on the East Coast is a guy at heart. Yes. Speak your truth, girlfriend. Okay. my California West Coast culture for your your hipster lingo that you use on MySpace or whatever, that's that's all fine. That's fine. My experience will continue to be lived whether someone else approves of it or not. And what I'm saying is, if you're somebody who castigates other few people for not completely learning other programming languages from the metal up, then maybe you could eventually get better at understanding whether it's three hours forward or three hours back. Oh man, and we've really really listened and learned to understand what's a do you understand what Greenwich time means. Honestly, I pretend, but not really.

I have to look it up every time. I uh I I as you know I keep lists. I keep lists of things. Mm-hmm And because I am um secretly, privately somewhat irascible about things like usage, I don't like to make a big deal about it publicly. Oh no. Well, I mean But I mean usage in the broader sense. I don't mean just grammar and spelling and and writing a headline that begins with the phrase I am or this. That's that's the thing is it's a broader problem of usage. I just don't like the way anybody uses anything. But um I keep lists And uh I have a uh something I really like a lot. I think our family at least tolerates and hopefully appreciates, which is I buy these magnetic whiteboard rolls. If you can imagine like You know, I'm I'm sorry, you probably know what I'm talking about.

You can buy this stuff, it's probably I don't know, th three or four millimeters thick. It you be it arrives on a roll, you unroll it, it's got magnet Oh my god the entire backside is magnetized, the entire front side is whiteboard. And so yeah, you can buy those ones that come with magazine, stick them up there, but this like fully adheres to the freezer section where a lot of the writing is going to happen. And I I love it. And h here's another hot tip for you. If for example, you filled up Daddy's entire shopping list with writing down all the colleges you want to visit on the East Coast, I guess that's important to somebody. It it's not gonna keep food on the table. Quite the opposite. So what I'll do is I can I can unmagnet that one and set it to the side, grab a fresh one, put it up.

Oh. So sometimes I'll be walking around. I should take photos of this just for my own purposes because it is funny how my family will come home and it'll say something like ice, curriculs, avocado oil. Ginger. I fucking hate it when people add the word standard to what time it is because they think it sounds longer and fancier. Because I have heard people who are paid to communicate for a living say, it is currently 1215. It is currently 1215 Eastern Standard Daylight Time. And I think they do though. Okay, I've listened and learned because I and I have turned both sides to standard standard means something, Alex. It doesn't just mean the time has been standardized. It's it's not it's either daylight time or it's not or it's either daylight time or it's standard time or I guess potentially it's something else.

But saying standard daylight time is like saying sunset sunrise time. It could be a good thing. Quickly flow the days. Yes, yes. Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers blossoming even as we gaze. This is i i it's so important because I am. Do you understand my my my my steddel my steddel culture is not your costume. And just because I like to play a string instrument on the roof of my steddel when I'm not hauling milk. Those are your people, Alex. I think is it Polnik or is it Russian? Yes. That'd be a pretty name for a girl or a they. It would, yes. I'd it This is my carbon form, Anatevka, and I love them very much. The the first time I saw that movie We're having a carbon form! Y A species reveal party.

Well explained. I watched I watched a lot I watched the first I finished uh my rewatch of the first season of Game of Thrones. I'm watching the whole thing again in order And I just Why is everyone doing this? What is it? I literally don't care. It's not important to the anecdote. Um and I will be getting, by the way, I will I it only occurred to me a minute ago, well, you know, when you were fifteen minutes late that I'm gonna start having a noise that I make when you bring in a headline, just so you can become more aware of it. You know like you spray a cat? Mm-hmm. Yes. I didn't say spay. Listen. That cat's genitals are not your costume unless you're very desperate for a furry costume. I d I don't think I'm the one wearing the bit the bit out right now.

I think I would wear it as scrolled on as my beard. This is a new thing you do. This is your new thing. It's your new thing where you do the Syracuse thing where where sometimes you'll you all you want to talk about is what what happened before rather than what's interesting about what's happening now. But then I would have that but that but then it's a trap. See, it's a trap. I under normally uh between the reconcilable differences. I mean that's it's like all right. My trap is not your costume nor your culture. What do we call what are we saying now instead of that? Chasers. Oh chasers. Like a chubby chaser. Is that still a thing? Don't get mad at me for these jokes, but get mad about using AI.

Why are people mad at you? Why why is someone mad at you, Alex? Who's mad at you? We uh well yeah, because I used to be. Yes. Yes. They send you supportive things somewhere. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. I mean it's it's all it's definitely complicated, um, for sure. I don't know. I I guess I could get really obsessed about one issue. But anyways, that was one. But I also will write things down like because I'm I'm you know I put I putter and I power putter and they are different. But I'll you know be doing my chores and walking around and mopping the floor Oh uh after sh I would love to know this difference. I apologize, precision. W will you write that down? I'm not gonna do it. Okay. Hutter versus power Butter is it an in at purchase?

See that's not funny. Continue, continue. I'm not funny. Mm-hmm I uh it's not that I But want you to change, it's that I want you to change and be better. It's exactly you understand? Like just just doing something different and going bah yelling different thing from brain now. yelling any. I am I'm not a yeller. Okay. What did you say three sentences ago? What did I say three sentences ago? I believe it was that I The thing is that the I just I just did a buffer over overrun. Like I know I know how to make your buffer overflow. I know. It's so frustrating because Most people attack attack. And I feel like I've made that joke before. No, yeah, yes you have. Right. I should track the they-them jokes.

You should do a lot of things. Um but uh but then but it's also funny, just to me, I should just go look and see if I can find some funny ones. But because You know, it is it's I said it before, but like I and I don't do this as much as I should 'cause I don't want to be a creep, but it's fun to take three sixty pictures of your kid's room at various times to like be able to look back over time because if you look at any old photo, like I have this beloved photo of my parents. that I just I love to death. I love everything about this photo. I love the I love my dad's cigarette. I love my mom's cigarette. I love the fact she's like fake strangling him. I love that my dad has a twelve-ounce steel ass can of old Coca-Cola in front of him.

I love ev I love every every dish every dish in the sink. You know, it's uh those are the photos that end up being durable. It's not ones where half the people have their eyes closed and want to go home. It's the ones where you accidentally catch people being themselves, which sounds like handed camera, but I uh I like to take those photos because I'll be rolling around, you know, doing whatnot in the kitchen. That becomes my base of operations. I set up a shoebox. And I put my um laptop on that so I can move freely because I need to be able to move very quickly when I'm doing this kind of stuff. And um and I'll just be doing my thing, I'll walk around. And uh oh, I also have a 3D printed uh little ring thing I made so you can have a marker like handy right next to where the board is.

And and I buy those in boxes of uh 10 or 12. So if I'm having a busy day I can just I can just leave the marker on the whole time and not worry, it's gonna dry out. 'Cause I gotta move quickly. I think I said that earlier. Yes. Probably listen and like John Cercuse will say say something funny, or you'll say something funny and uh I'll write down like a title. A potential you know, because I love me a title. I'll go, oh, that was kind of funny. And I'll write that on the whiteboard. And and they'll come home and it says something like, for example, ice, curriculs. Avocado. I fucking hate it when people add standard to the time zone just just to try and sound fancy. Ham means one. Do they have a visceral reaction to hammeen ones one.

Do you remember that one? I don't remember what It means other than that ham means one and that it I gotta used to be able to recite it. Uh jelly No, jelly on the right. So you're talking about a Concord jelly pack? Is it what position is it? If it's in the six o'clock position, that's that's actually the the the the wait, let me get this right. It's the third position is six o'clock. It's so awesome. One reason I haven't sent you that clock yet is um I I I've been wanting to make a change. I'm probably not gonna end up doing it, uh but I will. What I want to do is make you the exact same clock that I made, except I'm finally going to make for you a decimal clock. And and I need to I need to prepare you.

Like you should probably r run some uh some kind of uh disc doctor semantec product on yourself because this is gonna be very upsetting to you. Twelve o'clock or as I like to call the first position, uh we'll say zero. I'm okay with that. I like it. I like it. The uh the eastmost cardinal point, which I would call the second position, is normally a three, but you what does it say on your clock? Wait, no, that's not how it is. But what's where's the quarter of an hour? Uh uh the five, right? No, that's not how it is. Um okay, walked into a trap. So the Could you could you just exp explain your system to me and maybe maybe I could that that would help me make you maybe this is li it was nine minutes late, not fifteen Are you on top of the original five or the other five?

Well the fact that you were texting me up to 30 seconds before we started. And not saving it for the show. Here's a new thing. A new thing we're gonna do is sometimes peel back the curtain a little bit. When you're when you're so upset about who sent the link first or whatever, I I wanna do a new new exploration where we talk about what I deal with. That's not the thing you're mad about at that time. Which is such a nonstop surfeit of things I never want to be handed that you continue to hand me with either no context or worse, your context. I was so ready to see correct. I know, but you can you see how that's frustrating from my point of view when I'm when I'm just trying to conduct my life in power putter and whatnot?

And then I'll I'll sometimes I'll get a note from you. But you're moving fast, why? I gotta be able to I'm not always moving fast, I gotta be able to m to move very, very quickly. I'm um But I'm I'm sorry that I'm in the kink of the machine. You're in the kink of the machine. I like the sound of that. Exactly. There you go. You're sending me, let's see, there's Sam Altman tweets you're sending me. Thank you for for that Um that was in the context of the model had changed. Do you see always respond? Except when you said good oh alright, let's Let's get into this. Okay. I I said um I'd send you a s here's when I ask you where you blog something. I ask you whether were you. I'm never showing you any of that.

Um I'm not sure. Okay, but just to be just to be clear, okay, the curtain has now been torn completely off the rod. The rod dreer. Here's how this goes. You go, you go, I don't know. I don't know if you saw what I blogged. Well you were saying s the same th smart things that I said. Did you want to take this part over? I uh I yes, I'm gonna take this uh No, you're not. Wait, what? Wait, take part this part over. Part over? This part over. Okay, I I apologize. So I says you say you say, uh you see the blog I blogged last Yeah, that's effective. It's still th now you're on to at least four or five kinds of effective communication. And I I says to you, I says I says, uh no, I don't think I have.

And then you went on to kind of explained something that that you sound it sounded like it wasn't really done. But you were writing something and you said on the blog and and I said I thought very, you know, in kind of a nice way, because you know, you like to promote things. And so I said, and and where is that? And then you went, you said something like I like to promote certain things. And you said something like AlexCox. golf Club. And I I went there and it's one of those things It's a link tree. Yeah. What? It's it's a link tree. Yeah. Is that a blogging engine? No, it is uh the standard and I I I I'll say it. I hate it. It is the easiest way to have people find uh Okay, well I'm so sorry.

I'm I probably misunderstood what it was because I didn't know what a language is. Yeah. But I went to your blog tree. I went to your blog. I went to your blog at uh alexcox. com. golf club and uh and what i see is a page it's got your little icon on it and it says alex cox makes podcasts because you just can't get off this patreon thing and then um there were there's uh there's five buttons on there now which one of those is for your blog I do not have to be able to do that. Oh, one of them is a Patreon link. Okay. I did not send you there. I asked you where you put the blog. Uh yes, and then I lied because I did not want you to go to the blog. That would be cool. But you know what? You could also take that over, uh follow-up.

You could take dot golf club. And then change the culture of golf so that you could get a rangefinder and be a rangefinder guy. That It is. It is. Yeah, I was very upset by a golf club over the weekend. Um you don't watch TV. Hello. Um, we're back and um I don't know where to begin. This is one of those shows where I I I I'm gonna say something that's gonna sound a little bit A little bit dramatic. And it's gonna sound a little bit like I'm trying to paper paper over the fact I do not have a lot of product to hand you that I've prepped for this episode, except to say I've been preparing for this episode my whole life. So I think I I've already done the challenge. From the earliest things that I could say in life, I think I've done the challenge already.

But um that's neither here nor there. We got tech stuff to talk about. We've got your blog. Oh, and do do you are you a frequent listener to David Ferrier's Flightless Bird? Yes, I am. Well you should definitely, I would say, watch the live Portland show. Because even though you claim to like this show, you were unfamiliar with the way that every single episode begins. I started from the beginning and now I know his friend who c we He calls at the beginning, uh I'm up to the cheesecake factory. I don't know. Yeah, I I don't know. I don't know I don't even know the other guy's name. I can I call David Farrier the guy who made it. I guess I was taking this nowhere, but now you've taken it less than that.

I uh Because if you watch the live show on the YouTube, now they put up their episodes on YouTube, but where they have video They show video. I think his name's Rob. I I forget. But where they're sitting in like a little room together and you can see his em David Farrier's amazing new look. This is David Farrier, the guy who did tickle Dan other things. He has a great podcast called Flightless Bird. Start with the uh rabies episode. I unless you are under the age of forty, start mm, oh god. How many unless you're Under the age of 40, start with the American Girl Doll episode. Wait, so you are under an American under I I just I'm I'm the array. Yes. Oh because because you were around or for American dolls.

Because if Billy had a Rebecca, she was Jewish. But that's one of the new ski. We got a doll skis. Oh. I I my doll had a horse, had a uh It's still in my own. Who would leave a pony country to go to a non-pony country? See, I don't I don't know where that save save her for the challenge. I had pony. Um and A Palomino. They're gorgeous. Beverly. Old Chester Anyway, I had your son, I had Shane, I went to a Bodines concert. Um Uh anyway, but he calls Roosevelt at the beginning of that episode. And so uh you can actually uh they put up a photo of her and it's a ve she's so funny. 'Cause of course he's always calling her to like say, like, you know, and this you know, this week I'm having laser surgery or whatever.

Have you ever had that? And she's like, Are you recording this? Um, I like that show a lot. I like I like how David Farrier is and he talked about it. Is there are there any ice agents here tonight? Which, you know, fair question for for David Farrier. That's not a headline. That's a that's a fair question for somebody like David Farrier to ask. If you're an ice agent, you have to let me smell your dick. Yes. Ex well and you I don't know if that's the law, but you at least need to check whether it's not. It's there. Yeah. Yeah, or spiders. It's called the Kiwi Code over there. Well oh New Zealand you mean. They don't have as many spiders as Queensland. Queensland's where all the deadly animals are.

Okay. Uh no, this is fake news. Fake news. If you go to Australia and spend a month in Australia and all of their major cities, they have gone against not uh just they have reformed their image, no insects. There are birds everywhere. They just let them in the world. They got rid of all the insects in public relations? Yeah, they did. They were like, okay, we did they I I spent a month in Australia, like uh I think even before we started this um oh maybe like eight years old. Were you in Sydney? Where were you? Yeah, it was in uh uh Melbourne for half of the time and then Sydney uh for most of the rest of the time. Uh no, I I The I did go to um the what's it called? Karen Cairn the Cairn Islands and went to the city.

Oh that's where black people try to barbecue and then Karen. Karen calls the the Met Oh yeah, I I was I actually I was. I was one of those word jokes. Everybody hates word jokes. I I was oh we need a Mary Mary, Mary, Mary. Karen. Karen. Karen is Karen. I'm being cared for in Karen by Karen. Uh I highly recommend the coral reefs if you can see them before they go away. They're d most beautiful thing in the world other than my spouse. Um that's such a nice thing to say. Are you guys fighting? N I hope not. Maybe you have more information than I do. I don't know. It just seems like you're sucking up a little bit. I n uh it's called going down. It's There's a difference. Nothing. Um what's called that.

They have nine volt batteries there, but they spin the other way, if you know what I mean. They're doing the alphabet or whatever. That's a rookie trick. But you know, everybody should shave. Oh. I um oh sorry, no, go. All right. I was just gonna I'm just gonna I'm just gonna randomly quote a song. Oh, oh. You know, you know, I don't know. You know, one of my favorite songs of all time is a song called You Let My Tires Down by Tropical Foxstorm. And I I can't do it. I can't approximate Gareth's very unique delivery, but I picked her car up from the depot. had my lunch at China Rose, and then I snorted half a gram of Australia's finest homemade Coke. And a child was mauled by bull ants outside the High Point shopping centre.

while a two track track while a two rack tractor benefact bit down on her placenta. And then he and then he goes And then he goes, this is when he starts screaming. He goes And an army surplus loner come the outskort outskirts of parole, but it's raining in Victoria. So that shit's under control. Oh. You let my ties down. You know the video I always post of the people eating spaghetti backwards? Uh no. I mean I I know what you were referring to, but I done it. And they're friends with the Giz. Did you know that? They've done they've done songs together them in the Giz. They have a song called Satanic Panic Satan Satanic Pajama Party. And it's it's uh it's a tropical fuckstorm song, um, but it also has the guys from King Gizzard and the Lizard.

And before that, uh Gareth was in another band and he wrote a very lovely song about his recently um deceased mother. They're very talented people. They live on a farm and if you watch that live video of them, you can see dogs wandering around while they play loud rock music. You guys should check out Tropical Fuckstorm. They're really good. I'm worried about it. I'm really worried this is going to become um my new not too soon because Oh my god, I love that song. Why'd you do that? Right now for me right now it's Jeff Rosenstock or I listened to Jeff Rosenstock. in stock in like late last week, early over the weekend, and I still have three different songs of his in my head. He has a wonderful cover of multiple times.

Oh, he did a really good cover of something that wasn't New Order. He does it really or guided by voices. What's his really good cover I'm trying to remember? I I I was thinking of not too soon, but he's done a whole lot of the things. Oh that's the one! That's the one! Oh m oh my fucking god, that was totally accidental I listen to the. Alex, Alex, just did you know how brilliant you are? That I I didn't make that connection and you did? Oh look at look at see, I'm already moving on up. I'm changing in the right direction. Um you like him, right? Oh yes. And do you like his other band? Do you know his other Americo Vespucci, his little side project with the dude Yes, with Chris what's his name?

Another place that's a good idea. That's where your grandparents live. Tell them I said hi. Uh yep, from Naples, Florida. Naples, Flor Florida. Jeff Rosenstock? No, um fake problems guy. Throwing muses, throwing muses. They're from Boston. The Don't throw your muse. Especially if it's the one at the end of the day. What if they're into it though? You know? What if what if like the Wolf of Wall Street Yeah, exactly like What if the Wolf of Wall Street You know, at the beginning of Wolf of Wolf of Wall Street, they're throwing little people, and uh there's it's a very problematic conversation. But then Um worse than shaving that lady's head and making her cry? No. Oh no no. That's what I'm that's what I'm saying.

Margaret Robbie's in that movie. Yeah, I t always forget every time, and then I am thrilled. She's the opposite of Adam Smith. Adam Smith, I think was an economist. She's the opposite of Adam Scott in The Aviator, where I will never forget that she's in that movie. My goodness. My goodness me. And she's very funny on Graham Norton, which is all I watch now. You all you listen to is the Mountain Goats, and all I watch is Graham Norton compilations. I watch three or four really good ones today. How are you doing? You sound good. I'm I'm doing very well. Chris Farron is the name of uh the lead man of fake problems and also the Oh yeah. Okay, hang on. Is he in that in that like I eat ramen scene?

Is he in that like that fucking like we I I'm bald and have a funny hat emo scene? Fueled by ramen. My close fueled yes, fueled by ramen. Um no. There was an emo um or sorry, there was a punk scene. The Fallout boy I'm thinking of? Who's the guy with the hat? I like that one song with The Give the Kid Has Antlers. I like that song. Yes. Fallout Boy started Fueled by Rock. Sugar We're Going Down. Sugar We're Going Down. I'll be your number one with the bullets. That's such a good song. A loading God complex cock and pool. I'm like, that's so tired She never knew her likes it that way. She just a walker won't never stop walking away. I've already listened to this five times today. What what the the cover?

The cover of the original. The original. Alex, I can't listen to it fewer than like eleven times. Well, it was just a few years. I love every frame of the video. I love the I mean like I've talked about this song too much, but the more time I spend with this song, the more nooks and crannies I find in it. It is when I well I've used this phrase that a lot of people people use who who enjoy pop music is sometimes you'll hear a song like hey ya, for example. And I think it's fair to say that hey ya is made almost completely of hooks. Which is to me the nicest thing you could say. And they all work. That like every note in that song is a load-bearing wall. And every note of hey ya, if you go back and listen to it, you're gonna it's gonna blow your mind how many different, incredibly memorable parts they're on.

are on that song that you know like every note and word of probably oh you lose lose but um but I feel that way about not too soon except it's weird And I think, oh my God, this song can't get any better and then they do that build up right before the breakdown. You know, the last time I saw her, she d she does that, she sings that uh kind of like Phil Specter part. Last time I saw him, she just talks and it's perfect. I watched you fall apart. And then The music and the vision video comes together so well. You hear the um and he starts doing that thing on the toms to like do the intro. To the G Makes My Stomach Turn, I know, I know her. Oh my fucking God. What a perfect song. I'm so glad you like that song, Alex.

I was wrong in my prediction that that would be your next post on your blog. I thought you were gonna break down why it's a perfect song. And it's still capturing ideas for things like that. That's a really good I gotta start writing these things down. I got a really nice suggestion that really means a lot to me anyway. Um somebody asks if I'd ever made a list of uh because you know I like making a list. uh a list of of music documentaries and I was like that would be fun and not that hard because I like a lot of music documentaries. Okay. That would be incredibly hard for most people, which is why you are made for this, because so many of them are bad. And then I feel bad after watching them.

Yeah. I mean, well think of all of the music documentaries you you've seen and all of the ones that are just like media ex i exactly because you've forgotten the thing. Yeah. Yeah, but then you find uh a treasure um i in there and that is just Well my fav my favorite music documentary and a contender for my favorite documentary Honestly, just the most watchable, I'll watch it. I confessed last night on the internet that my favorite TV show is the Leftovers, but my actual favorite TV show is Game of Thrones. I'm still kind of working out exactly what that means, but I think you all know what that means. Which is I I love the Leftovers is the bet was I think the probably the best TV show, at least my f favorite TV show in many ways.

But like, I will just watch six episodes of Games Game of Thrones in a night. As I did last night. I just got up to Walder Frey. They just introduced Walder Frey. You know, you can have any one of his daughters that you want. No. Oh, no, God. Sylvia Syria Farrell just died and that kind of broke my heart. Oh, spoilers. Spoilers. And when the devil says what do we say, what do we say to the devil? What do we say? Not to the to the god of death. No, isn't it? What do we say? Not today. I'm in a great mood and I still have a million other things that we could talk about. Uh we have a um We have a show that we do after this show, an episode after the episode. And listen, here the here's the thing.

A blog is a publication and a post is a child of that blog. A post is not a blog. A house is not a home. You understand? Yes, but that's a terrible analogy. No, no, no. I was quoting an old song by I was singing quoting an old uh Burt Baccarak Hal David song. I know, but you could may you you can't have a home in a house. Oh fuck. No, yes. You ever heard the song Wives and Lovers by Back Rack and David? You ever heard the Well should always be lovers too. It's basically a song at Mon it's a very Rolling Stones kind of song or a very Kinks kind of song. What was another misogynistic band? The Eagles. Uh it was a very Eagles kind of song about like just chastising women because they aren't fuckable enough.

Hmm. Yeah. Why's now that's not Bacrack, that's David, so blame him. What He's the burning topping of that operation. Not a present not a present for your friends to open. It's boys Young BC in the blues. Every time I sing that out loud, I get some part of it just slightly wrong and without even looking at my child corrects me, which is both fucking incredible And terrifying. That's upsetting. Because I know almost all the words to Goodbye Yellowbrick Road. You can tell it because that used to be my Twitter bio. My Twitter bio used to be, I know almost all the words to Yellowbrick Road. Right? But the thing is my kid. It's fucked up, man. Bernie Toppin. I think Bernie Toppin does not get enough.

I think Bernie Toppin does not get enough credit. I think the lyrics are some of the best stuff about the early Elton John songs. I'm still caught up in this the lyrics. Oh can we talk about before we do the challenge, can we just talk about misogynistic lyrics? I've been doing it. Okay, so are we are we talking about talking here about uh wait what are we talking about? Good Goodbye Yellowbrook Road? Yes, yes. I mean like you've heard that song ten million times. This is one of those things that's made me so popular with everyone is having a topic that is completely inscrutable to normal people and annoyingly under complete or correct to people who used to care. This is where I live. Goodbye.

I just have all not always, especially in the last few years Hey, you ever listened to um not Song Exploder, but Strong Songs? You listen to that, Kirk Hamilton? Yes, yes. I have his shirt. It's one of those shitty shirts. T public shirts. But I have a st thizzle thump zizzle shirt. Um, I don't even wear it 'cause it's it's almost as bad as my election profit maker shirt. You know, I love that program but the shirt's shit. I know, I was very upset. Also Syracuse's hypercritical shirt is not comfortable to me. No, it's that's gonna be my first uh top my post top I I don't know if we talked about that is going to be my first um no maybe Post top surgery t-shirt is going to be my hypercritical shirt because I can't wear it since the material.

Because right now it rubs on your taes? Well be well because it I it will stretch out and he only uh does them every eight years, so I can't wear it. Oh my god, he's so transphobic. Oh my god, look at that. But a lot of what Syracuse I mean like yeah. Oh I th I think he's bad. Mm-hmm. I do when are you gonna come down? No, I see no I th I hear this as now Bernie Toppin's a straight guy. You know, Bernie Toppins, uh, I think Tiny Dancer is is about his girlfriend and maybe later wife. Oh. Tony Danza. When when are you gonna come down? When are you gonna land? The first verse is good, but it gets better. I should have stayed on the farm. I should have listened to my old man. But listen to how beautifully these unusual lyrics the enjammonement with with the the tune and the uh rhythm.

I know you can't hold me forever. I didn't sign up for you. I'm not a present for your friends to open. This boy's too young to be singin' the blues. And then here's here's the chorus of the hit song, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. So goodbye, Yellow Brick Road, where the dogs of society howl. You can't plant me in your penthouse. I'm going back to my plough. Back to the howin' old owl in the woods, hunting the horny backed toad. Oh, I finally decided my future lies beyond the yellow brick road. Isn't that a isn't that a hell of a lyric? That is a Cynthia Arrivo cover waiting to happen. What do you think they'll do then? I bet they shot down the plane. I'll take you I'll take you a couple of vodka and tonics to set your on your on your to set you on your feet again.

Maybe you'll get a replacement. Oh, this is so beautiful Maybe you'll get a replacement There's plenty like me to be found Mongrels who ain't got a penny sniffin' for tidbits like you on the And then it goes into full-on Beatles mode. Oh, save it for your Ouvre. That's a another great, I think, compilation. of Merlin singing on podcast. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Wait, why are you sorry? What are you apologizing for? I can't sing, but I like to anyway. You should have heard me. I was really I was having a grunge night on not grunge, but anyway, if anybody listens to Rodic on the line, we're talking about music on Monday, and then I made a 45 video playlist that night. Um before then writing something and going to bed at 2 a.

m. But they refilled my prescription Um, oh now by the way, I'm suffering from from the shortage. You know how everybody on Adderalls always like suffering from the shortage? Yeah. It's they they finally come for viance. Oh really oh that genuinely really sucks. Fuck. He he he visited the Pope briefly, JD Vivance. Oh he He did indeed. That's how uh you know the way I found out that the quote to quote my three-year-old child. That's not funny. That's not even a joke. Yeah. He's a smart kid, but that's what it was. Oh Alex. Alex Alex. Um Segway. Yes. Segway. Scoot scoot. Alright, go on. Sorry, challenge, because of course as soon as I say something that I realize is not funny, the thing that I hear And then f want to say is I'm not doing the voice.

We don't do the voice anymore. That's not funny. That's not even a joke. Doesn't that count? Yes. And what's your phrase for this? Oh, I have to do it. No, no, sorry. Oh sorry. I'm about to hit the Okay. Okay. I'm about my goodness. Have you ever done a pod you and Syracuse should do a podcast together? I I would definitely not listen to that. But it would keep you guys both in the same place and I know where you are. It's kinda like when you got a rat in the house and and you just kinda want to know where it is. You know you can't get rid of it. You know, I came on your show. Don't come on me. You know you can't hold me forever. On the show Uh the Relay FM membership special for uh I don't know a couple years ago on Recdiffs.

Why hasn't Syracusa Come m to our to my house. Why ha why hasn't he visited with us? Is it because of the house? Oh no, I'm not sure. That's important to know. Importantly. Um Challenge. And this l let's let's work on this a little bit. We'll workshop this. What was it did we have an original let me go to the sheet and find the original name for this. Because I you know, why do we talk about what it's called? Because I think ultimately sometimes the way it's worded Even though the challenge doesn't matter and it's MacGuffin for the program. This became part of the challenge for me. Comb yip yesterday you asked what was the challenge. I said track your imprinted phrases. Track imprinted phrases.

Yes. Be and before I called them cultural ticks because i it's like you just are reacting to a piece of pop culture. Not necessarily even quoting it, just That sounds cool. What does that mean? Uh I d I don't I don't know. No, is it like as like the three axes? What is the Z? It sounds cool. What does it mean? I've never heard that. I've never That that phrase that you referred to as being culturally relevant, I'd never heard it, so I'm asking you what it means. And it sounds like you don't know either. And I d I do not have to do that. And when did people say snapping into a Z formation? It's part of a song, they say that and do that. Kind of like let me try let me try one more time. Are people doing that now?

Is that a current thing? People's Oh I see. Well if I had a noise then I would indicate you just pulled in a headline for no reason. That's not a headline. I'm saying people I know in my life who are make references. A It's it's just I know that it's Roast beef, it's just not interesting. But it also means roast beef. All right. Uh Mr. Mr. The reason picks MX R B. You say mix? What do you say? When somebody's in MX, what do you say? Oh, uh a mi uh uh mix or mix Mixes. I I thought mixes armies and it got shut down. Mixes what I I didn't know that uh Madame and Monsieur was like MMS or MSS M, you know, like the plural of the French honorifics? The um the the shortening uh fuck, what's it called when you shorten an honorific?

The like mystery and misses. Yeah, I yeah, I I guess so. Yeah, the I thought there was FNCR name. No Sorry, that's my impersonation of every French teacher. Le fax. Le fax. What do they call a fax machine in Paris, Mr. Hickson? Uh Lefax. How do you say my nails in Salamper, Mr. Hickson? Maison de son parfait du salon. My nails are perfect as though I have just come from the salon. That's really catchy, Mr. Hicks. I don't think so. So so um um my my two housemates and two best friends uh that I live with, Michael and Dan, uh we live together over on Iroquois. And um and one time we went to Costco one of my one of my early trips to Costco and they had those big uh some people call them like a boiler suit.

I think of it as like a fishing jumpsuit, but like a big onesie that a man wears. Like you kinda look like a janitor or a mechanic and kinda like a fisherman. You know those those all in one suits you button up and you step into? Oh yes. It's it's uh many bands wear them. I I've impossible. They wear them a lot in King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard. Oh. They'll they'll they'll wear one of those and some blendstones and you know, and Bob's literally your uncle. They're very practical it seems. So so what we did was we got a big box of nachos, probably got some other things And each one of us bought one of those suits in a different color. So Michael and Dan and Merlin each had a fishing suit, one in blue, one in green, uh one in navy, one in light blue, like one in green.

And we just started because we had a class together with Professor Jeffrey Hickson, which was 19th century French literature um one of my all-time favorite classes. And uh we would just roll up into eBuilding two minutes late for class and all three of us would roll in wearing our our fishing suits and just sit down like everything was fine. Wait, is this college or Ice College. That's one of the gayest things I've ever heard. You were not openly mocked by By both your teacher, yes, yeah, him especially. But then the thing is We decided to mix it up a little bit. And this is like whatever a 14-week class, but you know, we started mixing up. Um and sometimes we'd arrive at different times. But you know, the the the bit was funny enough.

The first time, I thought. And then the next Tuesday or whatever, we did it again. Michael, Dan, and Merlin roll up wearing fishing suits for absolutely no reason. And that means the third time was annoying and funny. Fourth time, we swapped suits. And wore a different colored suit. And then while Dan and I were slightly drifting off the bit in a way that kind of broke the bit, Michael. uh one of the most influential people in my whole life. Michael leaned into it and he started having fun with it. and making it very, very flamboyant. And it ended probably the last or second to the last class of the semester. Michael walked in. in his underpants, wearing oversized orange sunglasses, with his hair done up, and he had just tied the sleeves of the fishing suit around his neck and worn it like a cape.

All right. I thought this was just going to be like a family guy. No, it's a two it's a two note bit. It's very too It's got it's got thesis uh and you know it's got antithesis, no synthesis. Sorry, Hagel and article. Oh, new phone, who gets Hagel? Challenge this week is to track imprinted phrases. And uh my quick version of that is you you you you kinda framed it understandably as like um Almost like catchphrases, right? The kind of things where you said from culture and stuff, but like things you find yourself thinking or find yourself saying somewhat automatically in a given situation kind of. Yeah. So when I make a when I say something that is not only not that funny even for me, but it lacks even the most basic structure of what could be considered formal humor.

Of course, the thought that comes into my head is my baby saying, that's not funny, that's not even a joke. Now, can I can I not say it? I mean, ideally, but you know I I did one I did one yesterday and I'm gonna do the voice only just a little bit. Billy Oh did I sing in the prompt picture? Yeah I did, right? Oh yes, and a spatial one. Oh did it work? You're gonna be sobbing. That's the first one I that's the first one I've ever taken. We understand. So my kids dress to go to the prom and and of course th they don't even invite me to the important meetings anymore. Like I don't know what's going on. I don't know w I don't know what's happening. Um because, you know, I'm just friction. That that's fine.

I I do the dishes. The dishes, the dishes again with the Jeff Rogus resin stock. Um I have I have maybe 40 seconds to get every photo I ever want to take of this entire event. And on top of it all, so I'd been ready. So I had my camera ready and I said, I've never done one of those spatial things. And I the earlier you d I bet it's one of those things where you're like, God, why did I only start doing this at this point? Because it's the future, maybe. Um, and so I got that very, very, very short video and then I think four other photos of you know him alone and and then the dyads of a parent and a child. And he's like officially I'll send you a photo. He's officially taller than Madeline now.

Faux show. Oh my. He had the prom, he had the prom. He had t he's had uh he's in the middle of testing right now. He's been studying for a bunch of AP tests. And um like oh yeah, so I had gone in, he got home, he got early release yesterday, pardon my saying, uh 'cause it was a testing day. And and I was power puttering and watching Graham Norton and I was saying, Hey, you're still doing chemistry, right? I want him to come in and watch Harry Potter on Graham Norton singing the Tom Lehrer song about the elements. Because I I used to have a mnemonic for the elements when I was a kid. Apparently the Tom Lehrer one is really good. And Harry Potter can just do it, like every verse of there's da da da da da da da da da da da you know, it's kinda like a Patter song, but it's all the uh Like I learned uh Hi Herman Lily Bet Bob Cannot.

I can't get beyond nitrogen. But anyway, I want to call him in the system. I scrubbed it from my brain right after I took the AP test. I did this, I go, I go, I I did a little gentle like I do, like And it's almost always like, you know, yeah, come come in and he's in. I open the door. The lights are off. Oh my God. It's only like the fourth time in this kid's sensei life that he's like decided to take a nap. And I was like, oh man I'm sorry. I I he's like, no, no, I can't sleep anyway. I said, yeah, it's too boring. And he was sweet enough to not say anything. Now why is that funny? Because our sweet little kid would wake up w or not want to go to bed, but you know, I I don't know. I've off I've wondered lately if it could be that like he just has a mind that moves pretty fast, you know, and for people like that sometimes it's It's difficult to go to sleep.

Our poor little baby and the little jammies, the little Hannah Anderson onesie would come out and go, I'm gonna do the voice, I can't sweep. It's too balling. And we all we could do not just go. I can't sleep, it's too boring. Because it's like the apotheosis of little kid tiredness. But also it's true. I still maintain it's true. It isn't too it can be too boring. Do you find that difficult? Do you find and cause your mind is like, hey, this is not the time to relax. Here's a hot tip for everybody. When you struggle with sleep or when you want to get better at sleep, I give my mom this advice also about procrastination. You need to remove rather than add danger. Dr. Neil Fiori, the well-known hypnotist and uh author of The Now Habit, he changed my life by helping me understand that procrastination is not about moral failings, it's about fear.

I says to my mom, I says, if you had to walk across a four inch balance beam that was like on your living room floor, it might be difficult, but you could probably do it, you know. Asterisk, asterisk. But I said, but, you know, if that four-inch wide beam were between two very tall buildings, it's a different thing. It's not, but it is, even accounting for wind. You know, the the uh uh you know, there's the guy that climbed the tower. But Lapetite I think his name was. Or it might be Le Petamain. I think that's the guy who farted songs. Look it up. But um no, no, no, no, no. But and and so and so the thing is We can't sleep because we don't feel safe. You know why you can't sleep? You, who, whomever, listener, you know why you can't sleep?

You don't know it yet, but it's because you don't feel safe And so I think our mind, if one's mind can be very active and unintentionally, usually almost always unintentionally, is sending you the signal it is absolutely not safe for you to be, you know, the deer that lays down by the pond right now or whatever. You know what I mean? I'm always trying to do that. You still you still do you still struggle with that? I'm much better than I used to be. Is it less of a catastrophe at least than it used to be? Yes. Yes. at 4 45 a. m. Oh my assume you have D on. I wrote I wrote this thing and it seemed like if you actually read it That that you it might be kind of a Pirali too. Yes, yes. But I uh I did not be.

There are ways to put it more plainly, but that's not the point. Like I said to John Roderick on Monday Would your approach to something change if you didn't think of it as a product and thought of it instead as a process? And I I think that's accidentally some very good advice about life. If you're not having success in life creating a product by which I mean, in his case, a hit album. Like wow, that's that's a pretty tall order. Instead like what's your process for doing whatever comes next rather than what you think the product is. The product, the product, the product, as the Minutemen say Isn't that interesting? Product versus process. Doesn't that seem smart that I would say that to John?

I don't know. No. Sounds too purple. Mm-hmm. Notice. Well, I was re- I was rereading it because like uh and I think I finally put this on the about page, but I'm not sure. I have no compunction at all about changing anything I've written. If I can change it. If I notice obviously if I notice an error, I try to fix it. If I notice I unintentionally used an unusual word twice, fuck you, Syracusa, I'll go back and fix that. So like I I had unintentionally used the phrase weird hillock of maths twice. And it's funnier if you use it only once. Instead I think I called it a robot in the sky. I I was I I I only noticed well I feel like I've got to be. Oh no no, because I keep fixing it. I keep fixing it.

I'm I'm always fixing I'll I'll find oh I I accidentally m m missed a preposition there or something like that or like I'm still gonna retake the photo of Spencer the train 'cause I don't like that photo. It was two in the morning. Um but you know what I mean? Like I I I think if you can improve I don't know. I mean I'm not writing for history. I'm writing for now. I think it could be. Did you write that down? That's pretty good. Yeah. Why why no porkylo's dose, like Casey says. Why no porculos dose? I'm loving, by the way, I just want to say I I don't personally like these people, but um I'm really enjoying Marco's Broadly put, restaurant journey. Are you f are you following it? I am. It's pretty good.

It makes me so happy. And his tech, his tech, his restaurant tech MVPs was really amusing. Oh my god. It's it's how close are you to looking into ubiquity at this point? I know I am the only thing that stops me from even looking it up right now is it sounds like they're gonna talk about ubiquity. Not the ubiquity of five years ago, but ubiquity of now. They're gonna be talking about it. And Casey's really looking at it. And I'm gonna I'm gonna let him draw the fire for that. That i i exactly. Like I ran uh you uh ubiquito Multiple ubiquitous qualify networks. Yeah. And at a no like an off site theater and so there were three different buildings that I was running. It reminds me of Tailscale, where it seemed like everybody's really thought about how you would actually use this.

and what and why you would want to change and how you expose that to people who would want to change it. Like it's not, I don't want to say it's not complicated, but hey Apple. Well here's the thing though, they they've also thought about what dinglings who are o in over their heads will get wrong about it or be confused about. So when you call them for support, Yes, yes, so when I'm like, hey listen, I'm at this one location and I can't see why all of the phone it looks like all of the phones are at my office, but really they're all here at the restaurant? What what is happening? And they're like, oh your one of your IP numbers are just like uh fucked up. Like they knew exactly what I had done wrong and it was just amazing.

And that rarely happened because it's a little bit more than a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a I think that even came very well. Well 'cause Casey was um talking about what was he? He was being cheap and pitching about something recently. But oh you that's my my bit. That's the hating Casey Um and be cheap being cheap, bitching, and hating case. I don't think it costs that much more to get Synology drives. But I don't I don't I'm familiar with it. No, it does. I I looked into it and then I got it. Okay, but a lot I mean like a lot more considering or just more than like a what a WD red costs on its own Um yeah, I'm not sure.

I haven't looked into it. I'm using Shaggy S busted drives on mine. I'm using just WD. Yeah. Mine are all like WD red mostly. The uh yeah, like one of mine is black um for repr you know, because representation matters. Yes, yeah, exactly. You rotate them in and out. Like like winter clothes. Say you should be my black No one gets mad about these jokes. How? Okay. Why are people mad? We're making jokes, we're making people happy, not sad. Oh no, it's it's uh uh but if we make jokes about computers, then I've But who would be mad about that? Only somebody who's deeply broken inside. I I know and it makes it sad. Yeah. That's something that oh Yeah, I know. I'm bummed. I'm I'm bummed for people.

I think a lot of it's it's really tough for a lot of people. I've contacted some of my pals about that who, you know, it's tough. It's tough. Like I said to Roderick, look, it's a troubled organization, but you could do a lot worse than that guy. I'm sorry to have to dam with faint praise. Once again, I'm in that sweet spot between nobody cares and fuck you title. But uh but, you know, he w I mean yeah, I mean there's still a lot to figure out, but like I think he's better than a lot of the people that could be. Do you ever see Conclave? Yeah. That's Conclave. It's that's something Oh actually, there's white smoke. What happened? Oh, um, there's a new gender bending secret pope. What? Oh, it's hard to explain, but there's a murder mystery.

There's a murder mystery. That ending, Billy and I, it took me three times to finish that movie. It took Billy two times. We finally got to the end. There's two way too much marble in that movie. We got to the end. We finally got we both looked at this is now becoming a bit, but we looked at each other and went, What? You know who loves subtlety like that is the Catholic Church. Yes. So he's kinda like a Jamie Lee Curtis type situation. Listen, it was a little bit more. Like fiction. Right now, my hope for the po hope for the Pope is a bit of a some spec speculative nonfiction. It like there's a number of candidates. Oh absolutely. Oh I'm I'm following the betting market. I just learned I just learned there's a betting market for popes and it makes me happy.

Yes. And that makes more money than bingo. It does I don't care how many cards you give him. The um the the f fucked up thing about Conclave. The church, right. Do you think that do you think he'd get approved by Conclave, the secret cardinal, with his specialness? Yeah, it's not a good thing. Con Oh sorry, actually conclave? No. Well, because because, you know, and now I can reveal the source of this. that most of you know, but uh given that I no longer care about spoilers, because if you care you would have seen it already, especially this week. If you care about Conclave and haven't seen it before this week And you haven't watched it this week? What are you saving it for? Prison? Anyways, um C you ever seen CGP Gray's video on how to become the Pope?

Mm-hmm. Oh yes. And what are the three things? There's there's three things that you need to be the Pope. You've got to be Catholic. You've got to be something and you gotta be a man. A priest, I guess. And you gotta be Catholic cardinal under eighty. That has been wait, no it it's you have to be a cardinal. Not b which it is you have to be a man. The red ones are men. Yes. The more dark-colored ones are females. I get this with my finches. My finches, the male finches have all kinds of very color as far as cardinal directions go. If it was 315 PM, that would actually be 3. 25. Or as they say in the Vatican, 3. 25. That's an agreement. Because I made a joke about Cardinal and then I went to Cardinal Directions and I went to Cardinal Bird.

I got one more. Um, wait, what is it? Is it Stanford? Oh yeah, because you know Stanford, their team is called the Cardinal. Oh, it got worse. Did you know that? It doesn't mean a bird. I mean they're mostly Stanford is mostly symbolized by trees and and the conservative politics of the Hoover Institute, but that's beside the point. They're mainly known for a big tree in Palo Alto. And um and uh yeah, but they're called the bit or is that true? Student for tree? Oh sorry, continue. No no not at all. No, I like this better. It would take a look at the problem. And I even tried two directions. I tried the one direction of because of course I have running lists. I have a list of things Dennis Gephardt used to say that I'm constantly repeating.

As you know, I have a list of things my grandmother used to say that I'm constantly repeating. I I track all of those things. Do you know that I have an entire huge markdown? I sent this to Dickerson one time. I have an entire huge markdown file that I was I'm so glad that I s I started making when Billy was little. And every time there was like an especially memorable or imprintable phrase, I would put it on that list. Yes. So like I have all of that stuff. And then I thought, well instead do my inclination is always I'm this comes up a lot. often enough anyway on Recdis, which is like I'm not really interested in the contest, I'm more interested in the rules. Like to say I don't like games, I don't like playing games, but I I'm interested in the rules of the game.

You know, it's why I like Taskmaster so much. They've never had the same task twice on that show and they're open to people walking right up to the point of cheating. But if you can find a clever way to beat the I love that kind of stuff, right? That's why Survivor, well, it's one of six reasons why Cyber Survivor's so tedious to me right now. Whereas I could watch reruns of Taskmaster like all day long. You know what I mean? And so Yes, you are the most enthusiastic a gamer who doesn't like games. That I used to. People don't care about that. Mm-hmm. Yes, they do. Yes. They should care. They should care deeply. What was my point? And then I thought should we should we talk about what is it that makes something imp well, I mean the truth it's obvious.

It's it's either it's a combination I've got it down to novelty, which is also I I was gonna say humor, but I should I I kind of want to just put humor in novelty. So humor slash novelty slash surprise. is one part. And why surpr oh wait, why surprise? D do you remember the um one this is not funny, but like it gives you the feel. I was tell was it here that I was talking about maybe it was with Syracuse. No, somewhere. I was talking to somebody about um TV commercials for industries or for like um you know, the milkboard or for cotton. You know, those kinds of like industry ads that were they're still around, but they used to be on PBS all the time as sponsor spots. And And uh there's that thing I was just mentioning, another funny family thing we've always done, madden me, is if we don't know what a commercial is for, we start yelling out what we think it's for.

And so we'll be watching a commercial. This is like say circa 2002. Commercial comes on. We're sitting on the TiVo. Commercial comes up and it's like, and the road that America travels. And one person will go, home insurance. And the American way and the other person goes, um, uh something like beekeepers or whatever. Or like you know, you do that for pharmaceutical customers. Oh my god, what is this for? Yes, exactly, exactly. This is a canonical example. Which is and and it I want Madeline to be both as funny and as smart as she was when she did this. Because it sounds like I'm making her sound dim, but actually she it was very fucking funny because it was so smart. So we're like Insurance, um, diabetes drug, beat.

And metal one goes, metal And I'm like, huh, could this be an ad f for the metal industry? Metal? Like people who manufacture set sell and market metals. B2B metals. This is a metal comp what's it for is it metals? And so to this day. Of course, when the word metal comes up, someone will just go, metal? But but also just when we don't know what something is. When they're like, oh my God, I wonder what time they open. What time sports basement? We've got to run there and get some new cleats. I wonder what time they open. Somebody go, metal. Now, to me that's an imprintable f phrase. Yes. Can I have some of yours? Um I Or however you want to I'd like to hear some of your uh I I've got uh Here was my I think most obvious one that people will be like, oh, that makes sense, referencing a bit a comedian uh has done.

And my uh two are Say eight, say eight from Brian Regan, which happens when I which one which one is say eight? What's that? Say eight is when he has uh someone asked Sim on a scale of 1 to 10, how uh how much pain are you in? And uh listeners of the show may know I sp spend a lot of times in hospitals. Seven or eight. Seven or eight is what you should say. It's always 'cause if you say two, they're gonna throw you out on your can. And if you say fourteen, they're gonna send you back to grammar school. Yes. It's ten is drug seeking. Three is your back and holding up that um laminated thing with the faces on it. I haven't seen a how much Mr. Yuck do you feel? Uh all right, and and I also have merge, everybody merge Which is another uh bit from the hospital thing.

Yeah. Or is the one where he was where he is where he wants to pull off What was the one we wants to pull off the reason he he his girlfriend or his wife left him is because he wanted to settle an argument and they had to pull off the highway. I for W Uh that's not from well the special is I walked on the moon, which is the big yellow one's the sun. Kid comes in with the same science project every cup of it's a cup of dirt. He's funny. I saw him live. Madeline got us tickets a few years ago. And uh we saw him and his very funny brother who opens for him. Um an accomplished comedian. We've we talked to him about him so much back in the Max. It was Max, I think, that got me excited about yeah. He uh can't because he is one of those guys that really travels a lot and will I dunno know if he s still does this, but he used to come to a bunch of schools and he be came to w uh actually one uh my uh no well it it was Max's high school and my Brian Regan came to his high school yeah his comedy uh his comedy club Sean Mulaney only got JJ Bittenbinder I I know, right?

Well looks like he should be working on a train that runs on confetti. He heard that. But it was it wasn't to do a show, it was just to talk to them like about comedy and and Oh no. Wow, that must be a pretty cool school. Uh did your did your Catholic school do anything like that? By the way, I'm setting you up to do some kind of funny joke here. Alex, when you were a kid and going to Catholic school, what kind of people did they bring in? Maybe like did you ever hear Chris Fleming's story of being taken to meet the old nun? I don't yes, yes I have. She's like sitting there in the chair with that rictus. She's either completely still and silent or screaming. You gotta meet her. Come out and meet the monkey.

I got monkey zoned. Uh all right. So uh so that is a reference to uh a bit, but it is not something where like we are And in passing, and in passing, just in passing, passing. All these Brian Regan things count. Usually it's all count. It doesn't get a laugh even. I mean that they count but but but for It's like you're only saying it so somebody who knows the joke will laugh with you. Like it's like when you say it's like well at least it used to be before memes made everything confusing. It was like if you said something like that's a bold move, Cotton Or if you said, well that escalated quickly or whatever. It used to be that was a line that was funny to the weirdos that liked Anchorman, which didn't used to be everybody.

I've never seen Dodgeball, but I know that Jason Bateman line just from GIFs. Somebody says this bold move cotton, see if it works out, something like that. Everything Fred Willard says in in every Christopher Guest movie. But I've got to be a little bit of a big thing. Would they ever do that? See those don't they they don't count though as quoting that because the uh the oh but but like he he has he actually has catchphrases In the the my least favorite of those movies, um, A Mighty Wind. Do you remember where he's not seen it, no. Oh, so Fred Willard plays a guy that used to be a child star. who's like now in his fifties. And I I I imagine this came out of came out of improv, if not like improv on camera.

But he starts talking about some of the catchphrases that he originated. Like, what happened? Or I can't do my work. Now, I can't do my work. Sounds kinda like my kid. It's too boring. I uh most of the the rest of mine aren't Comedy bits which I think is more like it's I I think it's weird and interesting that whenever the word like comes up in our households, both Maddie and I will go I like you. Which is a reference VHS from the mo the horror movie VHS where s spoilers, a lady turns out to be a vampire and she just keeps the crying game it Oh, no, no. Don't spoil it. Uh they did a conclave. Uh, you just got Gabriel burned. raw transcript