280. Bridge to a New Magic
2022Show notes
You can hear the after show and support Do By Friday on Patreon!
Edited by Quinn Rose
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Transcript
Tap a timestamp or any sentence to play from there · machine transcribed (mlx:mlx-community/whisper-large-v3-turbo), expect mistakesAlexThis is Do By Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Alex Cox and Merlin Mann. This week's challenge, consider Merlin's favorite things.
you know oh dang i i just wanted to see if it would uh if that would just keep on going if i didn't say anything if i would just get an it would have kept on going oh dang oh i i'm sorry
MerlinYeah, it's one of those things where first it's funny and then it's not funny and then it's not funny or not funny and then it's a little bit funny and then you wish death upon me.
AlexOh, I disagree. I think it would have come around funny and then I come for funny. You know that.
MerlinOh, boy.
AlexIt's not that hard.
MerlinCome around funny. That's pretty good. Okay, I'm clicking. Oh, gosh. I don't know what I'm doing. I never know what I'm doing. I don't want to talk about the show on the show, but I'm so lost with so much of the most basic tools for doing what it is that I nominally do.
AlexI'm completely lost.
MerlinSo right now, for example, you might have heard a beep, beep, beep of a vehicle backing up. Now, okay. This is a nice thing a listener said. A nice thing a listener said was, hey, you know what? Actually, you could – I was just realizing when I was sitting in traffic and thought a truck was backing up. You could probably take that out because you know exactly what – no, no, no. This was a nice thing to say and it was smart. The person said, hey, you could probably at least get out the backup beep, beep, beep sound because that's a known frequency. You could filter – isotope could probably make work of that.
I don't know. And I was like, you know, that is a good idea. And that's really smart. But when you say something like that to me, you don't know this because you assume that I'm a professional, which I am. And none of the ways that matter.
AlexHey, easy now, easy now. We'll get to it.
MerlinSo it's a little like telling a dog that he could remove his own gallbladder since we know where a dog's gallbladder is. And I'd be like, but I'm not a doctor. Like, I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to take up my own gallbladder. Is that a good idea? Should I do that? Shouldn't I hire somebody? I don't trust doctors. How'd you get this number? I don't know if dogs even have gallbladders. It might be, Syracuse will probably tell me that that was an inaccurate metaphor because it was not accurate to anything.
AlexWell, it technically is a bladder, but it's not gall just like human. You know, it's effectively not the same.
MerlinI'm a phlegmatic dog.
AlexThis is kind of like your vocal fry. Everyone's going to comment on it. Your beeps. Because I think everyone's going to comment on it. And it's like, listen, I'm not sexist, but.
MerlinOh, right. I'm not racist. Maria Bamford's like learning how to speak like an American. And you learn phrases like, I'm not racist, but.
Here's the good news is I think the machinery is done with being directly in front of where I'm recording. It's moving down the road a little bit. So it'll still be around, but it'll be less bad. In any case, there's fuck all I can do about it, so I'm not going to lose sleep. It'll go away eventually, you know? But that's fine.
AlexHow are you? Like all good things.
MerlinLike all good things, it comes in funny. What is it? Come hard? What did you say? You said come around funny.
AlexI come fast for funny. This is what happens when you pretend this is a live show. You don't get it all ironed out in the first time.
MerlinOh, that's strangely related to my Morning Joe, Jim Jones. Morning Jim Jones. That we will talk about probably in the after show. So I can slightly limit the amount of cancer.
AlexGood morning.
MerlinA little coffee ring. Alex, where would people find bonus content for the back? What is this? Back to work? For the Dubai Friday program? Oh, wow.
AlexWow.
MerlinThat's okay. You'll fix it. You'll fix it. Go, brother.
AlexOh, if you want to give the show money, which pleased your God to you can go to give us your fucking money dot com. Or if you're a normal human being, patreon.com slash Dubai Friday. And like Merlin, now I am technically a professional as I am no longer at my full time job.
MerlinOr technically like Alex, I remain at liberty. I remain unemployable he's one of the worst employees we've got
Alexso if you want to feed my cats go to or you know trans healthcare see honestly you're transphobic if you don't give us $5 a month
Merlinboth of your cats are transitioning at once that must be a handful are they taking little kitty pills
Alexoh god you joke but can you imagine the wachowski sisters if i absolutely can i absolutely absolutely can yeah like oh god their parents would have i'm sure that their parents would have made it work
but there's a lot of logistics going on.
MerlinOh, absolutely. Oh, two's already too many of anything. Yes. But yeah, yeah, no, absolutely. And it's also like, oh, I don't know. You know what? Never mind. But there's a funny thing you hear sometimes where people are like, oh, I love my dog so much, but I'm so lucky that my dog's a vegetarian or my dog's a vegan. What? And you're like, your dog's a vegan? Are you sure? Are you sure? Do you want to phrase that slightly differently, which is I will only give my poor animal plant-based food.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Plant-based. That's the new buzz. That's the new Snackwells. The new Snackwells. There will eventually be a maintenance phase about this. But the new Snackwells, I think, is plant-based. I mean, oh, try this new plant-based corn. Oh, that sounds good. I'll try that. anyway you were saying so hello and welcome to the program
Alexhi welcome to Dubai Friday
Merlinmorning Jim Jones is that what I said? morning Jones
AlexI don't get a morning Jones at least not yet
Merlinno but you come around funny you come in the morning coming at supper time this is the week that we promised you would open your kimono
Alexabout standing in your truth. I'm standing in my truth.
MerlinI stood in some truth. This sounds like a Fred Willard line. That's funny. I stood in some truth on the way to work today.
AlexTry my glop.
MerlinOh, God, I stepped in some truth. I got truth all over my shoes. Alex, what the fuck's going on with your career journey?
AlexOh, my career journey is essentially the same, except no one's giving you as much money for it. I had a very amicable split with my jobby job.
MerlinThis is your one opportunity.
AlexThis is my one opportunity to say no one worry.
MerlinNo.
AlexNo one. I'm helping you.
MerlinI'm helping you. Help me. This is why we get married, Alex. We get married to protect one another from ourselves and our other selves.
AlexOh, that's true. That's what I'm doing here. We can't be charged for the same crime. We can't.
MerlinOh, that's right. It's called double jeopardy.
AlexOh, boy.
MerlinAnd personally, my tip for people telling a story is sometimes I think it helps to not just say what happened this morning. I think it's helpful sometimes to say, like, what's been going on?
AlexYes. If you've noticed on the show, if you're a regular listener or a new listener, good God forbid or slash hopefully. Trans my cat. Trans my cat. really if you don't know previous iterations or know anything iterations of my gender i guess or know anything about me we are possibly the most transphobic you're uh you're doing terrific you're doing terrific with this by the way all right all right all right everybody hey hey everybody
Merlineverybody alex alex uh alex has worked at cards against humanity for a long time oh god seven and a half fucking years yeah yep yep yep and and alex has had lots of different jobs and alex's job has expanded and contracted and you know who lives who dies who tells you your story i did
Alexoh but as people may have noticed uh between 2020 and 2022 not a lot not many live productions have been happening you didn't have live productions to manage is what you're saying
MerlinIs that right?
AlexUh, yes. Um, yeah. There seemed to be an overall industry trend.
MerlinYou're sort of a live production.
AlexOh, boy. Some personal, some personal news.
MerlinPersonal news.
AlexAgain, there's a very, I forget, I think it was Mike Curly who said this to me. Don't create puzzles for the internet. That was me. What the fuck are you talking about?
MerlinThat's mine.
AlexNo, it wasn't. That's it. Wait, no. Well, then he stole it from you. God, we're just puzzling all around.
MerlinHoly shit. All right, finish your amazing story.
AlexThat's funny. That's extra funny because then.
MerlinI just want to be remembered for one thing.
AlexYeah, I'm. Oh, anyway, if you go to patreon.com slash do by Friday, you know what you can do? You can give us $5 a month and then you get our do by Friday after show, which is if you can believe it, it gets even weirder than this, a whole separate show in your podcast.
MerlinIt gets real. I guess it gets really real. A lot of people say there's all kinds of different models in storytelling. There's the, you know, the five kinds of stories, seven kinds of stories, 32 kinds of stories, whatever. But you know, a lot of people say there's, there's different ways you think about the acts, you know, of the, of the play. But I think, you know, a story in one version, it's about change, but a lot of people say it has a beginning, a middle, and an end. And yours has a beginning, something else, and then what might be like a
Alexquart of mashed potatoes. What? You had a job. You don't have the job. Yes, that's the whole story. And the reason people shouldn't worry. Yeah. Why would people worry? I think you've put more thought into this than literally anybody else.
MerlinI spend so many hours a day trying not to get internet puzzles. Oh my god, there's
Alexno puzzles. People leave jobs all the time. What the heck? Should I start?
MerlinYou're the one with open DMs. Have fun.
AlexOh, yeah. Oh, gosh. Well, anyway, if you want to find me on the internet because apparently Merlin doesn't want you to go to patreon.com slash do by Friday. You'll just dance for
Merlinnickels anywhere, won't you?
Alexthrow your nickels at me please visit alexcox.me and just throw money at me i'll take any type of money i don't have an only fans yet but you know times
Merlinwe have an only fans so is that the equivalent of what we used to call like a cam thing so like do you do you we have an only fans it's it's that you're are you like taking requests
Alexis that the idea i on it like this isn't a bit like you're like get zoom in really close on this
Merlinone toe or something like that is it is it people ask for like their special thing is that it i
Alexbelieve so like like with patreon i believe there's tears and or like a kickstarter there's tears so patreon has caused me a lot of tears if i'm being honest please patreon my rss feed it's just it's not quite your nft foot joke was funny i love little raccoons oh i i love him and his sick wife uh but the idea with only fans much like with sub stack it's kind of a grift of like all right
this is where people are going to go for the very individualized porn, but you could set it up yourself and not have us gouge you with money.
MerlinBut I mean, cause for a long time, wasn't there, I don't know. I only know this from afar, but like they, there was the whole thing of like, they had a weird dust up with sex workers and they kind of, they fucked the pooch real bad on it. But part of their contention was that wasn't only fans saying like, Hey, actually this is not for porn. Wasn't that something they were, you know what I mean? It's like, oh, this bong is for smoking tobacco kind of thing.
AlexRight. It's the whole independent content creators. Independent. And the same way that now I know that Tumblr is owned by Automatic or something, the WordPress company. And it's like, well, we're not bringing back porn, but we are bringing back art. So, you know.
Merlinbut but only fans it sounds like would not be mad if you use their surface or service for something besides like showing your your parts yeah so like you and i could do like office hours there or i could dispense advice or you could critique people's home screen like if we got an only fans
Alexchallenge if we got an only fans i don't know if we can share an account about that's sharing an
Merlinaccount on patreon has already been so much fun but um we could share an account there and then uh and then you you and i could uh could dance like monkeys for nickels on only fans but only
Alexfans only the fans and here's here is the thing merlin much like you and pokemon as the internet says everything i've learned about only fans especially the adult slash youtube star trisha paid us i've learned against my will and uh it seems as if there kind of is like it is the
Merlinsexy influencer i might have just had an aneurysm i i recognize some sounds in all of that
Alexyou don't want you don't want to know see no that's not the bathwater lady though right no no it's not the bathwater lady hiruzo sakumi i i no that's that's the one that was on letterman I'm not sure, but there is now a woman selling her farts. Well, technically, she is farting into rose petals.
MerlinTechnically, it's a receipt for the farts. It's a non-fartable token.
So the ape is bored, you say? Oh, boy.
AlexWell, now I've downloaded OnlyFans.
MerlinHow's it arrive, Alex? Does it come in like a glassine bag or is it in like a mason jar? Are you allowed to pick? Is it artisanal?
AlexOkay, no. I'm going to put it. Yes, yes, yes. No, no, you're not going to put it. You're not going to put it.
MerlinNo, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
AlexIt's a story. One of those very respectable things.
MerlinWe need to talk about boundaries. We need to talk about boundaries again.
AlexOkay, listen. If the Atlantic is going to publish a thing about how we're just asking the question about cancel culture, we're just asking the question about trans kids, we're just asking the question about the fart pedals. And then I think it's totally fine to be in show notes.
MerlinWhat did you say?
AlexFart pedals, because she's not technically the only fan.
MerlinOh, as in peddling farts.
AlexPetals. Well, oh. Petals?
MerlinDo you mean as in part of a bike or a flower?
AlexYes, in her words, she puts a flower petal in between her butt cheeks, farts on them, and then puts them in a jar. And you are right to say that some people-
MerlinDoesn't the flower part work at cross purposes with the ass stink?
AlexI, well, that's exactly, that was my question that I was not going to ask because I'm not the Atlantic, and some questions don't need to be asked. They really don't.
MerlinNo, some questions don't just need to be asked. Okay.
AlexWell, and I do like how she said, yes, I do take special requests for more money. And then sometimes particularly I will eat only cheese per day into a flower petal.
MerlinYeah, that seems like that'll scale up real well. But it's funny because in some ways it's even more fantastical. So much so wonderful, even more than a pet rock. Because the whole joke with the pet rock was here's a rock and you buy it. And now it's your pet rock. And it was just all about like being funny and clever in the marketing. But in this instance, it would be like saying that this is a purebred rock or that like this one, this rock has a master's degree. Like if you could identify a cheese fart on a pedal, la, la, la. You know, boy, you don't want to smell my office.
Woof. Ate a lot of ramen. Very hot ramen. Double hot ramen.
AlexOh, God.
MerlinIt burns like hot snakes.
AlexI really get this woman so.
MerlinLook in your left pocket.
Alexit's a two of farts oh gosh i mean yes two of farts it sounds like what is that is that a homonym uh no it's a transphobe seraphim seraphim is a seraphim the opposite of an infomaniac
Merlinor is that a wife okay um we are here and we're glad you're here with us um yeah i mean i guess that's one of those things we're like i don't want to become calcified because i guess she's having fun with it and people must feel like there's value in that now could that become like an nft though i don't even really know what an nft is i kind of know what an nft is it's a
Alexreceipt for a receipt right i don't want to trigger anybody who has lost uh perhaps a million of You know what we talked about?
MerlinFuck this. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, we talked about this on the after show two weeks ago. I'm sorry. Forget it. Fuck it. We're done with this. We're not even going to joke about it.
AlexYes, yes. If you can't, you know where you can find the after show? Give us your fucking money.com.
MerlinAnd then the after show is only for farmers. I don't know why I'm doing puns today. I've hated puns my entire life.
AlexYeah, it's very exciting.
MerlinI know I'm no Joe Steele. I could be good at puns if such a thing is possible. Excuse me. But I choose not to. I choose not to because it's the lowest form of humor.
AlexI could be a great podcaster. I just choose not to.
MerlinThat's me and my gallbladder. Air horn's a frequency. Well, okay. Shit, I don't have much else. That was pretty much it. I thought you were going to talk for like an hour about your...
AlexOkay, but that's the thing. I don't know. What would you like me to say? what I'm interested in doing in the future. I've been doing what I am interested in doing in the future for a very long time, just on a smaller scale.
MerlinI don't care what you're interested in. Why would I give a fuck what you're interested in?
AlexMaybe someone does.
MerlinI'm trying to help you avoid a thistle.
AlexWhat, thistle? A thistle.
MerlinWell, but why aren't you there?
AlexBecause live gaming events aren't a thing. A friend of mine who still works there, actually founder of Cox's Cox, Kara Fagan was like, Hi, Kara. Are people going to be mad at me? I'm like, I don't know why.
MerlinThe answer is always yes.
AlexYeah, well, I mean, the answer is yes, but I still don't know why.
MerlinYes, but who cares? Okay. Well, because everybody's mad about everything.
AlexYeah. Apparently, you're not supposed to adopt dogs for many different reasons. Okay.
MerlinNow, you pivoted. See, now, I wish you would give me some kind of a whistle or a bell or some way that I, as the gallbladder dog, I would know that you just changed topics.
AlexWhat? I did. Oh, my God. Adopting a dog?
MerlinOh, no, you're talking about the gallbladder or Jim Jones?
AlexWe're not a Relay FM show. We don't have a fancy outline. This is just, it's doing it live, kind of, sort of. You know what?
MerlinIf you ask me, if you too often ask me for chapter markers, I will put them in, but they will not make any sense, and they will be very frustrating.
AlexI know, I know.
MerlinI will do it wrong just to be obdurate.
AlexI did do that in episode two because I was cranky for some reason.
MerlinEpisode two of what?
AlexOf this program.
MerlinOh.
AlexAnd I put a show note for like every single Doctor Who mention we did. Let me see. It must still be up.
MerlinOh, that's funny, Bullseye. Really?
AlexOkay, cool. It wasn't that funny.
MerlinYou know, this week is the first time I ever watched a Star Trek movie and didn't cry at the beginning. I wonder if I'm dead inside. Oh.
AlexI always cry. That seems to also be a pivot because I think I'm going to give myself a challenge to cry every day. And that doesn't sound wholesome at the start of it.
MerlinNo, it sounds like a country song. Coming down the park now, I always land under a cocks where I cry every day. Well, my cat is trans and I got no plans. I cry every day.
AlexOh, boy.
MerlinI run into the house with a pickle in my mouth.
AlexThis is a real type of thing. I wonder, actually, did you ever get a what is it? A sympathy cramps or sympathy pregnancy something sympathy contractions? I don't know how bodies.
MerlinI don't think I don't think I did. No. Well, I mean, you know, it's I'm not sure what that means. But like like when somebody else is like in labor, like you're the mother of your child is in labor. the father feels like, you know, that kind of thing.
AlexLike feels the kicks or has the same cravings.
MerlinI postulated to my family this morning that we, you know, they say that nuns either do or don't sync up their periods in a convent. I hear that's somewhat controversial if that's true. But in any case, I did say this morning that I do think like nuns, we all want to take a dump at the same time every morning. And that's a problem. I think we've synced up those periods. So, you know, get some pads.
AlexWell, that's the thing. Is it a period? Is it a period or is it a period of time? Is it a pedal or are you pedaling? Words are hard.
MerlinOh, Pedal of Time. I love that book. Did you watch Turning Red? Have you watched it yet?
AlexNo, but I heard it's very controversial for no reason whatsoever. But it looks cute. Is it because of periods of time? I don't know.
MerlinHave you been working with my wife to deliberately scotch every story I have before it has even been formed?
AlexAll right. Merlin, will you tell us about the Pixar film?
MerlinNo, I don't want to now. Forget it. You're the storyteller here. And then I saw White Tesla. End of story. It was a good story.
AlexOkay, fine. I left out a detail. It was in a Wendy's parking lot. I'm sorry. Merlin, please tell us about Turning Red, the new Pixar film on Disney+.
MerlinDo you know what we're... I'm doing... John Syracuse calls this in-band podcasting. Do you know, we talked a little bit about the challenge and some ideas for how to frame it. Just so I know, do you know what you want to talk about and what you want to do for the challenge this week?
AlexHell yes, and I am thirsty for it.
MerlinOkay, so let's, okay, one thing to think about is that we leave time to do that because I don't know what the fuck it's going to be, but I'm into it. You've watched season one of Dairy Girls?
AlexYes, and I've watched season one of Dairy Girls twice. Twice.
MerlinI'm telling you, the one with the church and the test, I could just watch it over just Aaron's expressions.
AlexOh, my God.
MerlinYou know, the dog's not the issue or whatever.
AlexShite dog. It's a shit dog. Fucking weirdo.
MerlinWhat kind of workout do you do? That moment, though, when the priest walks in, they're sitting in front of Sister Michael, and they all turn at the same time, you know?
AlexI mean, all right. I am going to now endorse Dairy Girls the same way Merlin Mann and John Syracuse I have. And I get to go back and listen to an episode. Oh, yeah.
MerlinThat one after show.
AlexYes. If you want to give Merlin money, but not me money, you can go to relay.fm slash recdiffs.
MerlinI'm going to be covered with nickels. The dance is so hard, they just stick to me. Could someone please squeegee my nickels? Let's say it. It's got a nice mouthfeel.
AlexIt really does. Much like nickels.
MerlinNow listen, here's what I want you to say. What I want you to say to me is, could someone please squeegee my nickels?
AlexPlease say it. Could someone please squeegee my nickels? Oh, God, I feel so dirty.
MerlinCould someone please squeegee my nickels? Doesn't that feel good?
AlexCould someone please squeegee my nickels?
MerlinThat's like a really good handjob for your mouth. Squeegee my nickels. Could someone please squeegee my nickels?
AlexOh, God, I hate it. I hate it so much.
MerlinCould someone please squeegee my nickels?
AlexOh, God, I hate it. I hate it so much.
MerlinThat might be a character on Game of Thrones.
Dairy Girls. Yeah, it's kind of special, isn't it? It's weird.
AlexI think it is a perfect, at least the first season is a perfect season of television. Much like The Watchmen.
MerlinYou love Uncle Cole. You know, he got tied to the radio with his own shoelaces. They went and borrowed his van.
AlexI am a lad.
MerlinOh, Toto.
Alexoh poor poor poor james he doesn't count i was watching game of thrones i'm watching game of
Merlinthrones all the time now and i'm doing oh yeah i just love it and um no i don't have anything to say about it just that i love it but it is it's it's you know we've got that that dumb running joke that we make that snell makes that everybody makes that there's only x actors in all of the uk and they've all been in doctor who and they've all been in game of thrones and they've all been on stage doing Shakespeare. But it is farcical. If you were to just do, and I know people have done this, just the overlap between, say,
Harry Potter and Game of Thrones or any of those, the great Iron Troika of Game of Thrones, Doctor Who, and Harry Potter. It's so funny. Like, you know, Walder Frey is filch? I believe so.
AlexThe one who's gay for his cat? Yeah, yeah.
MerlinYeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like in great movies where you'll see Charles Dance just start showing up in everything. So anyway, I was watching last night. Such, God, what a great show. And I got to the one where they go to Meereen and he hooks up.
Sorry, Daenerys gets with Ser Davos. No, not Ser Davos. With the guy, the guy who fights for her, champion guy. the guy with the grayscale no spoilers yeah yeah yeah but then like the kid gives her the ball and shan screws the ball and there's a scary scorpion inside and somebody runs up and stabs the scorpion and saves her life this hooded character totally grandpa from dairy girls oh yeah just being a
Alexballer oh man i mean i have a ball set of balls thank you i'm you know i'm just gonna quote this The feckin' show. Oh, goodness gracious.
MerlinOh, my God. I love Sister Michael so much. And now you get to watch that great baking show with them on it. Yes. Orla's not on there. Aw. That's okay. Oh, God, Orla. She's always eating. You ever notice that? She's always eating. She's always eating or doing something weird in the background.
AlexMm-hmm. I didn't notice during the day that they go on holiday, she is playing with a, she's like doing a little drum solo type thing. And she's using a wooden spoon and a very large and sharp kitchen knife.
MerlinShe's also, the one where they go to the, it's just not as nice. Where they have to clean up the fish and chip shop. It's just not as nice. Oh, God. Pizza's not as nice. okay all right enough about that um oh so also also also um i will find the exact name of this but what's funny is okay so there's documentary series i think it's it's kind of like um album classics where it's like packaged as though it's all the same show but it's different shows i think
it might be called netflix remastered in any case i'll find it but um it's i saw this before i saw Derry Girls, but I think you should watch this. I don't want to say a lot about it, but there is a documentary about a band that was really popular in Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland in the 70s, and something that happens to them related to The Troubles. And it's awfully good. And it has some turns that may not be obvious for what appears to be a music documentary.
I will find it for notes.
AlexMiami, it's called the Miami Dance Band or something like that. Miami Show Band.
MerlinI'll find it for notes. But it's very Northern Irish and like all the things that, well, we were texting about this. And I was saying that I understand, accept, or at least imagine that people who live through the troubles, because my God, it was so fucked up. I mean, I don't think most Americans have any idea like how violent it was, like how random it was, how crazy it was. but I like that about Dairy Girls that they were able to make a, mostly a comedy show that wasn't saying this wasn't a big deal, but like,
I don't know. I, I always worry when I go, Oh, it's a fun, you know, insurgency. Um, Oh, it's good. That makes life interesting. The eighties was great because we got good punk rock. It's like, no, it wasn't. What are you saying? Um, but you know what I mean? Like, um, but if you want to see a ticket, deeper dive into the dark side, if you haven't already watched the crown, Holy shit R.I.P. Mountbatten Oh played by Charles Dance
AlexYeah Jesus I fucking love that guy
MerlinCharles Dance Bill Nye I just want to line them all up And kiss them right on the mouth Love them all Dairy Girls You guys should check it out It's really good Check it out
AlexThere's also a book That I can't remember the name of But it's written by the same guy Who wrote Empire of Pain Which is all about The Sackler book Yes the Sackler book And not the Dope Sick is a separate book but this is it was a phenomenal book and so far the kindle sample of this book is also
Merlingood enough that i i hope you don't expect me to make fun of you i want to reward you for that i'm i'm proud of you for doing that for doing what for not buying a book you can't prove you can read it's in the wisdom document always get the kindle sample don't buy a book until you finish the kindle sample if you haven't finished the kindle sample why the fuck would you buy the book oh yes that is honest i'm just i'm celebrating you i'm standing in your power what what am i standing
Alexin your fear in my truth that oh your truth that's right thank you well in the what i consider to be the superior frozen movie and frozen too um yeah she steps into her power which was a very beautiful
Merlinsong that oh god it might make me cry is that one a little more gay a little more gay listen
AlexYou can interpret it as Elsa being very gay, but I honestly, the first time I saw it.
MerlinYou just liked it because of the animation.
AlexNo, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. All right. Jokes to jokes. You're leaving the room. I had no, like Frozen was off my radar in like what Thanksgiving of 2016.
MerlinExactly. This is like me and TV shows in the late 80s when I was in college where like apart from Cosby show Mighty Mouse and Pee Wee like I just don't know anything about I don't know about Urkel I mean I knew I know now but like you get this blind spot of a time when you were not obligated to pay attention to something right like I've heard of Bluey but I don't know every episode of Bluey like I know every episode of Curious George because that's when my kid was little
Alexright kind of that kind of thing absolutely because it wasn't made by Pixar so I was like Whatever. But then, you know, Thanksgiving night comes around. It is premiering. The family is together. Like, oh, sure. Yeah. How bad could it be a Disney movie? And it shook me to my very core. The first one. And yes, I saw it like as, OK, maybe gay. But like this, it felt like mental illness to me, like real hard. And like the shame of this is something she physically cannot control.
oh you're talking about not anna but uh elsa elsa yeah yeah okay and yeah yeah it i came out of there like what oh but oh yeah so anyway wait did i say elsa i meant to say i'm an anna guy like i'm into marianne not ginger you know and exactly exactly and which is why i think frozen 2 is the superior movie because let's just say it uh resolves a lot of your feelings that i also had because let's just say someone who is like me probably shouldn't be making i i just
should not be running a country um or running a writer's room unsupervised like some people
Merlinare mentally ill and that's okay we need some help if i ran your writer's room i would constantly praise you and use your jokes you sent me an amazing thing that i had never heard before i I didn't know. Once again, once again, my Imperator Furiosa sent me something and I don't know why. And so it's a thing. It's this American life. Like, I don't know. I have no idea what this is. But fine, whatever.
AlexI gave a little bit of context. A teensy tiny bit.
MerlinNot at the moment. Not when you sent it.
AlexOh, really? No. Well, let me look. Let's go look.
MerlinI don't like to do this because I always feel like I'm narking on you or like somehow trying to win our relationship. um but anyway you sent me a really interesting thing which was because i i i it was really satisfying to me because there were so several times in so it's an episode of this american life from a few years ago i had to steal it with downy because it's fallen off the you know
Alexfree part um but all right i'm gonna gonna well actually you there the the app the this american life app while terrible is is free and and you but however uh yeah you can it's you can't use smart speed and it's a little brutal so yeah yeah sorry sorry yeah it's the best burger in town but you gotta eat it in the sewer i i just like i just like that they had enough supporters that they were able to make it free again for everyone stepping into my power go go on i'm sorry i'm
Merlingoing to figure out how often you are talking to my wife and deliberately cock blocking every anecdote i have usually now with my wife it's usually that there's some there's some incredibly trivial factual thing that i didn't get wrong that i didn't get right enough the classic one here being i told you this one this is this is this is a true story um we go down my kid and me go to get get uh you know breakfast coffee hot chocolate one morning and we run into one of the other moms from elementary school.
And, you know, we were all very involved. We got less involved over time, which is kind of the way it goes. But, you know, for the first, like, three years, we were super involved. We were, like, the class parents and whatever that's called, like the dead mothers for the class or whatever. All that, and, like, we were super involved. Did every event. She was on the PTA. Like, we were very involved. But I'm trying to remember the, let me change the name. I was like, oh, we were down at the coffee place, and you'll never believe who we saw. I don't know.
Who did you see? Oh, we saw Shelly. And we saw Shelly and her daughter, Boba Fett. And oh, my God, Boba Fett's so big. And there's still, oh, everything's so sweet. And my wife would say something like, did you mean Michelle?
Yeah.
AlexOkay. All right. All right.
MerlinYou do that.
AlexYou do that.
MerlinSo now I've got hot and cold running people.
AlexThere's a distinction. Isn't it a bit of a distinction? You're correcting me about my complaint. A single noun versus an entire community rallying around a public benefit corporation so that it can be more accessible to everybody.
MerlinDo everything we can to keep WBEZ alive.
AlexNo, they're...
MerlinSorry, PRX. Bing bong.
AlexNo, they're independent now. This is where I would...
MerlinOkay, Shelly.
AlexThis is the dumb correction, but technically they're a public benefit. I'm sorry, Merlin, you enjoyed an episode of This American Life that I sent you.
MerlinNo, you know what? I'm going to tell you what I tell all the people who do this to me. You don't get my story now.
AlexIt's really good.
MerlinIt's really good because I didn't realize when you sent it, because I didn't have context for this, that there was like at least a couple, three times while I was listening to this that I went, oh, oh, oh, this. there was the oh this first of i you might have actually specifically been the person who told me about this a long time ago maybe even before i watched and loved community but at some point you talked about well let me ask you what was it you said about dan harman's apology didn't you say something like it was one of the one of the few good apologies you've ever heard or something i
AlexI said it was the best apology I'd ever heard, and it has become an outline for every apology I've made since. And I really encourage people to listen to this episode.
MerlinWe'll tell you why. The story's still happening. But I totally agree with you. I mean, I'm not in a position to say in the sense that if I were the aggrieved party, I would feel like I had more input into whether that was a good enough apology. but it's great storytelling very well done but the point is it's dan harman right and they play this you know pretty long segment from his podcast where he is um it's interesting because i really love this distinction about like he's not trying to come up with an excuse he is kind of secondarily
apologizing but as we learn later on apologizing can be its own burden over and fucking over but In this case, it was more like, what was the phrase Megan used? An allocution of like, okay, here's how I fucked up. Let me just lay myself bare for the court here. But it was interesting because I guess I knew something about that, but it was pretty cool. And it made me think that's a pretty cool guy. And, you know, he got a little bit wrecked emotionally and I guess chemically. But you know what I didn't know? Or if you ever told me I didn't know, is that that's about Megan from Always Sunny.
I did not know that. Now, did you watch the gang has a holiday party this week?
AlexI did not.
MerlinThe episode this week is they drink. And Megan joins them.
AlexOh, God, I love her so much.
MerlinAnd after a while, Sweet D comes down and joins them, too. And it's really funny.
AlexI love her so much.
MerlinI love Megan so much. And boy, just so self-possessed. Anyway, I don't want to get into the whole thing here. But thank you for sending that to me. We'll put it in show notes. will send you to the app that you can get to help support public radio.
AlexNo. I will just say... God. If folks remember, there was a... They just don't stop. Pledge now. Here. Pledge on KQED.
MerlinIt's just... It's constant.
AlexOh, well, that's why they left in their public... Patreon.com slash Dubai Friday. Don't give public radio money. Give us money. But I believe it was 2016 where it, Megan, oh gosh, I think Megan Ganz
Merlinis her name. Wait, the episode? The episode is from, I think, 2018 or 19.
AlexSorry, the This American Life episode, but the quote, I mean, it wasn't, that's the thing, it wasn't an
Merlinincident. No, it was two years of, and like, but you know what? I mean, I was about to say I'm sorry and I'm not. But, oh, my God, I feel for everybody involved in this because, like a lot of us, he didn't realize what a shit he was, I don't think. I think he thought he was pulling it off. And when he would say things like, oh, and the one that really I was like, oh, God, this move, where he's like apologizing for things that are really trivial and inconsequential. And now she, talking about emotional labor, then it becomes Megan's job to go, oh, no, that's fine.
And so she, and then it's sort of like, you know, salespeople say, get people in the habit of saying yes. keep asking questions to which someone can answer yes and they're more likely to say yes to the thing. You know what I mean? But I don't think he, based on what I can tell anyway, I don't think he was malevolent. I don't think he set out to be, you know, it wasn't like he was asking for massages in his hotel room, but what he did was fucked up and he realized it. And she was incredibly gracious about it.
I think at least partly because it was her way of, I think she said as much, like okay he said this happened and like that means a lot like yeah but especially the fact that it was it wasn't like boob twisting or something but that it was undermining okay we
Alexdo need context to this because context context context dan dan harman had a crush on one of his
Merlinwriters who now we know alex and i at least know as the producer on the it's always sunny in philadelphia podcast who we've talked about how much we like and no not just the podcast the
Alexentire show as well.
MerlinThat was my entree.
AlexThat is a good distinction. She's a big fucking deal.
MerlinNo, it's an important distinction, but it was... Shelly. He had a crush on her, and he thought that what he was doing, he thought he was being helpful, but what he didn't realize was that when he clearly was favoring her over the rest of the writer's room, and writer's rooms are just full of monsters. People are terrible in a writer's room. And the thing is, what she kept saying to him that he would not grok was that, like, look, you're really undermining me. You're making, not only are you making me wonder if I have any talent, which I think
I do, but you're making me, what, look like the teacher's pet or something to all the other writers in this vicious writer's room. And like, you're doing this is not helping me. News alert, it's not helping you either. But then on top of it all, it's just harming my career. Like, I can't do this job if I also have to manage the relationships with people who think I'm getting favoritism because you want to, you know, kiss me.
AlexIf you are the person in, I mean, this is obvious to a lot of people, but when you look or sound different from someone in any room, you are going to get more attention just inadvertently. And that is probably going to make some people resent you. and he just truly he was like well i'm a feminist feminist so i i don't know this and he just died in the wool joss whedon yeah yeah he okay and so dan harman who is the creator
of community like you said also the co-creator of rick and morty when uh me too the like height of the me too movement where it still kind of was about actually supporting women and not about getting clicks i remember that that was almost a long weekend i remember that was it was it was um And so he on Twitter was like, God, I was so shitty to some of my staff on community. And I've known that, but I've never owned up to it. And I'm sorry. And he did that just on his own on Twitter.
MerlinAnd then Megan was like, hey, you want to go into some more detail on that?
AlexCome on, buddy. Like, I get it. But come on. Like, she she really was like gentle about it. Like, come on. And they had actually a really civil back and forth that I think is still online. And it's really, it's really good. And then his, I really liked the show Harm, the, and especially the live shows of Harm in Town. But the way he apologizes is just so thorough that it's almost like we can't even, you truly need to hear it. And the fascinating part was that almost immediately, Megan was like, yes, you got it.
And I didn't. But then she's like, and I didn't even realize what I needed. Like, that's how complex apologies end up being is sometimes the person who who needs deserves the apology doesn't know what that might look like. And I don't know. I found it fascinating and like a really honestly, like beautiful story of a woman who is also far more successful than Dan Harmon.
MerlinBut beautiful because it's painful. Because it's painful and because it went differently than a lot of this stuff tends to go. And it, I don't know. I mean, I'm not here to like just cheer and go, you know, yay Dan Harmon. But like, because, you know, I mean, we're all fucked up. That's the thing everybody will figure out someday is we're all a little bit fucked up. Anyway, I don't want to get into a thing here. I just want to say thank you for sending that. And you should watch them, you know, have whiskey drinks. and Charlie plays guitar and sings.
It's very good.
AlexOh, gosh. Parentheses, circle back. Do you recall the episode Flowers for Charlie, which is an It's Always Sunny episode?
MerlinDo I recall it? It's one of my all-time favorite episodes.
AlexDo you know who wrote and directed that episode?
MerlinI don't.
AlexDavid Benioff or David, I don't know, the Game of Thrones guys. They're buddies.
MerlinOh, wait a minute. you know what i did notice that sometimes i'll know like i noticed it just the craziest fucking shit like um um like in pam and tommy pam and tommy i think is that the one or was it an adelvy i think it was pam and tommy directed by fucking um oh shit um you know the guy uh wet hot not
Alexdavid but um you know who i mean um not corey doctor oh uh or no no from wet hot american
Merlinsummer uh fucking um oh my god mike michael oh my god oh no never mind oh no uh michael showwalter
Alexthere we go yeah i i think michael showwater um and then i noticed another episode of something
Merlini watched recently was directed by lake bell also of children's hospital yes i did meet her in a bar one night. And who else? Well, you know, when you hang with me.
AlexYes, yes.
MerlinMy man. But no, no, no, no. It was, you know what? Cut everything out. Cut me out. It got weird. I don't want to. No, no, no, no.
AlexNo, no, no. I'm not attracted to anybody.
MerlinWhat? Yes. Saying we should go in there and finish each other off.
i can try to respond to this tweet but i'll come back to this wait you're on you are on
Alextwitter.com at this moment and responding to tweets what well i mean some people have like
Merlina fidget thing you know to keep um so every once in a while i'll just i'll just i'll just look in and you know and yeah and somebody said something so it was about my wisdom thing which is my baby so I wanted to respond asking what the HRs mean which is nothing
Alexthe dirty little secret
Merlinis sometimes the HRs are just the spot between two writing sessions
AlexI feel like I knew that but I don't know why I did
Merlinprobably from Rick Diffs yeah i think it just yeah yeah i'm having fun with it still having fun with it not i'm trying to get back into it big fun what did we want to talk about dan harman we'll find that for notes any other threads because dairy girls very good i'll find the miami show band documentary
Alexand there's something else in there honestly i think we might want to push this challenge to next week because it's our... No, no, no, no, no.
MerlinWell, can we have context? Can we have context for it then? I was thinking about asking that. I almost put this on the list of things that need a name, which is it seems like I didn't do this challenge or I didn't do a good job on this challenge, but the truth is I think this challenge is potentially... Well, who knows? Potentially more interesting than I first realized and I want to work on it more, but that was unnecessary. So what do you want to do now?
AlexWell, I mean, we have done 50. This this week's challenge and potentially next week's challenge was to for Merlin to curate some of his favorite things. Oprah style.
MerlinI have titled it. I have titled it. And you, of course, will not do this because it's part of your nature to say one thing in the fucking pre-roll to have another thing with different capitalization.
AlexSometimes I record it beforehand. Well, now I'm a professional, so that will no longer happen.
MerlinWhat are you, a Gab Fest? Consider Merlin's favorite. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who we booing here? Who we booing? Who we booing?
AlexI'm not booing. I'm just going, oh.
MerlinOh. No boos.
AlexNo boos. No boos or hisses.
MerlinWell, because I think the reason I'm joking here is I think that at least on, I want to say probably Slate Money, I'm pretty sure they record the top of the show intro part where they introduce the guest and talk about the three topics they're going to talk about. I got a feeling they record that after they've already recorded.
AlexOh, absolutely. That's not a secret.
MerlinShouldn't they have to say that?
AlexNo. Why?
MerlinDoesn't that break the rules of song video? Are you supposed to do everything in the right order and everything?
AlexI don't know. different strokes, different pedals for different blokes. I don't know.
MerlinAnd, like, it was pretty loosely structured or defined. And even, like, on last week's after show, I was kind of like, what do I mean? What are we talking about? What?
But then in our offline discussion or in our super secret private text channel, we provided some clarity. And although I am somewhat reluctant to agree for this to be so much all about me, I thought this episode was going to be all about you.
AlexBut then you told a shit story with your shit dog. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
MerlinToto.
AlexMerlin's challenge this week was.
MerlinShe's smirking. She's smirking at me.
AlexI'll say it too. This week's challenge was consider Merlin's favorite things. And I do really like how this is phrased because I wanted Merlin to, like I said, pick some favorite things like Oprah style. But it's a pretty selfish challenge because I want to. It is a selfish challenge because I, I mean, this, I told you this 280 episodes. This is just all a grift to occasionally get to interview Merlin, man.
MerlinThat's so interesting. It's like Gift of the Magi. I thought it was a grift for me to just get interviewed. Unfortunately, I sold your combs to buy back my watch chain.
AlexAnd then I spent it on bedding.
MerlinSqueegee my nickels.
AlexSqueegee my nickels. Squeegee my nickels. But what I think is more interesting than the actual things is exploring why something is a favorite thing or what draws you to certain things. And if there's any sort of through point, any correlation within the collection you bring.
MerlinSo this is not just movies, music, media books. It sounds like you're talking more about Dongus'.
AlexI intentionally wanted to keep it open because I think at different times you would bring different things. Like you might bring, I see in the doc, a sidecar and universal control, which is awesome. And like a different day, you might bring something like a little ruler for crime investigation. Oh, the crime ruler is a good ruler. Yeah. Yeah. And I just am interested in like, all right, why are you talking about this now?
Not in a nefarious way.
MerlinI would love that. I would absolutely love that. I took a swing at, so right last night, right before I went to bed, I was like, I can't go to bed this unprepared, not unprepared for the show. Cause I've got hundreds of lines of things I've written here, but, um, I, I was, I want to take a stab at what, and so, so what we talked about and I just to, I mean, I'm kind of repeating what you just said, but just to clarify, you know, it's, and this goes back to like an ethos of mine, I think, which is don't just
tell me whether you like it tell me why you like it tell me why you maybe even you could say why you don't like it and don't just tell me why if you want bonus points don't just tell me why you like it but like who you think it would be good for who it may not be for not just in terms of buy or don't buy but in terms of like hey you might be surprised that the following thing is a solution to a problem you didn't even realize you had which is so much nicer than buying something that does not solve a problem you think you have.
Like that kind of like Walgreens, I like to say Walgreens is a store that almost has what you need. It's so frustrating how close Walgreens is to having what you need and they never have what you need. It's like, it's just, it's the worst. Whereas Cliffs Variety on Castro Street or, you know, Poppenhausen Hardware or Great Wall Hardware, some of my favorite San Francisco stores are the opposite, which is like, holy shit. they have stuff I didn't even know I wanted or needed all under one roof.
And that's, you know, there's all kinds of reasons that could be. Why, how are Walgreens and this locally owned drugstore, hardware store different? Well, like a million ways. But anyway, I was just trying to like, is it, and I failed at this, but I want to read it to you anyway.
Because I've been thinking mostly in terms of things like apps and in terms of things, I don't know if this counts for things like music as much, But in terms of, I don't want to say products, but goods or offerings, I've got a Zenith and I've got a Nadir. And both of these are failures because they're written by a pillar of salt.
AlexWhat are you, a woman? Come on.
MerlinWhat is the Zenith of a Merlin's favorite things? It combines uncanny familiarity with unparalleled design and seemingly impossible power. it represents the bridge to a new magic the nadir be weird unreliable selfish difficult to use and then make me feel like a dick for even having wasted my time on it be an unapologetic piece of shit like i don't want to i don't want to cast dispersions but like you know for example i don't
know i want to i want to talk about happy things but like when you sent me that app where you tap a button to say, how do you feel? Do you feel more one or do you feel more five? And I'm like, what do you do with this? Like, where does this go? It's just, it just seems like a way to disperse energy inefficiently from your body to nothing. It's like, it's basically turning your fingerprints into DevNull. And like, there's these kinds of things where you're like, oh my God, you hate me so fucking much. This app, this app is so hostile.
um you know and you know i can be you know cute about this kind of thing but there are times where you're like wow this is a really important thing that i need to do or even a semi-important thing i need to do like i use instacart a lot and um it really does drive me bananas that i will keep getting a pop-up to give a star rating um until i give a star rating or should that matter i guess they really want to give a star rating yeah but if i have to respond to somebody who's standing there doing that wonderful thing where they just send you a photo of shelves and you're not sure
why um i need to go respond to this person and i need to respond again no god now it's 5 15 so of course my phone's blowing up and each time it wants me to give a review and do this thing and it's like the you will do anything to hide the passionate task in order to have me do this thing that you decided is more important whether it is more important even to you it seems more important to you but just tell the kid that you use some javascript to throw up a window that you can't you know, put away, you know, the whole, like, like I, I pay for, for example, you know, there
are sites that I pay for that still drive me nuts. I mean, what's David Roth's thing? The deflector. Like I subscribe to that. I'm in my second year of subscribing to that. It's still one of the most hostile experiences I've ever had because like the daily beast, like slate, it constantly wants me to log in. Slate will not even work with one password because it's so secure but deflector i go in and i say okay fine i start getting the pop-ups going and it's like all this jazz and then when i log in when i do log in then i get more stuff like when the new
york times says hey do you want to give somebody a one dollar gift subscription no i'm not i want to use the paper i paid for like you know what i mean like there's this kinds of as brady would say paper cuts that just just drive you nuts but then there's some kinds of things that come along where you're like, the example, Alex, that we've used before, we need a name for this. What is this thing that I wish I had more reasons to use? And like, for example, Descript, it's not perfect, but I still love using Descript. And it still really does feel like magic. That is a favorite
thing, because they're doing something very novel and extremely powerful in a way that, you know, it's whoever, Harlan Ellison, whoever said, you know, it's sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. And that's what I'm talking about here. But then I also like music and movies, so I don't know if that counts.
AlexIt does. Dairy Girls is magical. I don't know how they pulled it off. How did you shoot in both Dairy and Belfast?
MerlinSame with Righteous Gemstones. Going into Righteous Gemstones, did you have any or what we do in the shadows, did you have any idea that you would feel feelings about people?
AlexNo. No. I don't know.
MerlinI'm sorry. I'm monopolizing this. I apologize.
AlexThat was the challenge. I'm fair. I hope that you would consider, well, this is kind of a taste.
MerlinYou could give me homework if you want.
AlexOf the after show, I guess, where this is not unprecedented probably. You'll do anything to get those nickels squeegee, won't you? Oh, squeegee them.
MerlinThe sound of a moist nickel hitting a carpeted floor. What dreams may come.
You