Do By Friday
Episode 199 artwork
Episode 199 · August 13, 2020 · 01:07:39

199. Is This How You Wear Condoms?

This week's challengePlay The Sims.
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Show notes

This week’s challenge: play The Sims.

You can hear the after show and support Do By Friday on Patreon!

Edited by Quinn Rose

Engineered by Cameron Bopp

Show Notes

Transcript

Tap a timestamp or any sentence to play from there · machine transcribed (mlx:mlx-community/whisper-large-v3-turbo), expect mistakes

Speaker AHello! I was in the middle of listening to your recorded voice message and then you were calling

Alexme and I was like I don't know which Alex to listen to I give off a lot of mixed messages and confusion not just in conversation but in general oh sorry sorry I'm late uh Douglas my landlord really enjoyed talking about all the trees that have fallen down in Chicago and in general because of a rainstorm just just want to i thought there was something happening no he was

just really excited about the fact that no trees had fallen on him i guess so that's good i mean a lot of trees did fall down he's not wrong about this i am like okay all right and i i just i don't know um Quinn Rose welcome to the show you want you want to introduce yourself I mean people already know I think because there there has now been a hashtag what what is it keep keep Quinn as

the host I don't know but Merlin's out and you're and you're in so who are you oh okay we killed

Speaker AMerlin um I didn't say it you did I I'm not part of that we but you know I I will say real quick Hi, I'm Quinn. But the listeners of this show may think that I have insider knowledge as the editor of this show, but that's not correct. I just learned things about 18 hours before you do because I edit the show, but I don't, like, no one tells me anything. I figured out Merlin wasn't going to be here through context clues.

Alexwell and we didn't want to we did give you an out it's like oh we're going to do a video game challenge because merlin doesn't really like video games and there's this game that you're very passionate about and we wanted to try it so uh we're like maybe maybe we'll do that and i'm referring of course to the conversation we had in the after show which you can find at giveusyourfuckingmoney.com. And what is the after show? Quinn, what's the after show?

Speaker AYou edit it. Oh my god. I'm perhaps the person least qualified to answer that question. But the after show is like the main show, but weirder. And the challenge is picked, but usually that happens in about the last two minutes. And most of it is it's just the stuff that's too weird to talk about on the main show so you can imagine i mean i did i i i wouldn't say weird i would say

Alexcontroversial for example i shared a lot of opinions about my unspeakable feminine products

Speaker Aas they are known um there are a lot of pot takes in the after show there are many many they're on

Alexfire really uh what what do you mean by insider knowledge like what what sort of insider knowledge would you have even if we chose to give it to you like well i mean i i don't think there is

Speaker Agenerally a lot of insider knowledge to have but just especially in relation to my appearances on this show i often find out about them when editing the previous week's show yeah you know what we

Alexjust want to stay true to our roots and be organic you know um it's not like i'm doing anything you know i'm just whatever podcasting is an intimate medium so instead of texting you we just decided why not communicate through patreon.com slash dubai friday I Merlin can't go anywhere because I laugh at my own jokes and you pity laugh at them so

I need I need someone to keep keep the mania down but so thank you thank you for being here and humoring me. You're welcome. Were you able to get our doc, our very confusing show note

Speaker Adocument that I don't even understand? Yeah, I'm going to be real with you. I've never really understood the doc because there's a section for news and topics and there's a section for notes

Alexand I don't really know the difference. I mean, I don't either. Like, I don't want to give up any like trade secrets but i think merlin has a template that he uses that's it's just very very confusing and in fact this is like a not uh not like censored but i'll here i'll send you an example of like a full-on doc from last week okay what it typically looks like and it's just it's so confusing so if if you pop this this little doc open I don't there's so many things uh

there there's Alex topics which I wrote down as something to talk about eventually but one of these talking points is Batman sure likes pasta in the news and topic section but I have no idea what I just I it's like when Merlin wrote Jeff Goldblum in his notebook over a decade ago and has no idea why I don't know why I said that Batman likes pasta you're you're the show editor

do you do you maybe you have some insight into this that you received 18 hours later I have

Speaker Ano memory of anything anyone's ever said on this show including myself I I agree I agree

AlexI'm on the same or rather I am on the same level like people are like I really liked that bit and I'm like you know what thank you I really appreciate it I definitely like blacked out

Speaker Afor that in intentionally or unintentionally for some reason the only Dubai Friday bit I can recall easily without prompting is the name Cliff Hickinson I don't know why but that one really tickled me and it just it's still with me to this day but i have a i have a question about the doc because i opened the doc today and there was a link um there was a link to a certain kind of

Alexwebsite with shall we say adult content yeah i'm afraid to oh i actually have not opened this link um can you uh do you should we address the uh adult elephant in the room okay so let me tell a story okay and I also should say that I literally learned about this like a half hour before recording I want to know how you learned about this yeah it was in the um oh what's Nick

quo's show uh nick quo who who writes the pod yes yes servant of the pod and uh if you're not subscribed to his newsletter i don't know if he's a friend of the show but i just like nick quo and uh nick or nick qua i apologize if you're hearing this he has a show called servant of the pod and a newsletter called oh now i've forgotten it thank you see this is this is why we need to uh and so i was like do i do i send this website to to quinn and you will i i will leave you to

explain it because i think it you've known about it longer than me but i i really really debated

Speaker Asending you this website called try quinn.com so we actually learned about this in very similar ways and that makes a lot of sense um i am subscribed to the hot pod newsletter i'm also subscribed to a little daily newsletter just called pod news um and it's just basically a compilation of headlines related to the audio industry because i am a professional um but i don't know how long ago this was but a little while ago i opened up my daily pod news newsletter and there was a little line item that says um i think her name's katherine but it's the

sister of the guy who made snapchat first of all oh it's like she's made an um audio erotica website and it's called Quinn and I was like are you kidding me are you kidding me so of course I visited the website and yeah it's like a lot of audio erotica and whatever um I do if they did sell merch with the logo I would buy it oh absolutely it would be extremely funny yes I

Alexreally wish there was a try Quinn uh a shirt for you specifically I love it the logo has a little

Speaker Awinky face in it just the Quinn with a little wink is I've seen that um and I would want that on like a tote bag or something I'd wear I'd carry that around so it was it was a pretty it was a lot to log on this morning and see that link

Alexand I should say it's not the reason I find this funny isn't because there's audio erotica and And there's a place for it to live that I, well, now I don't, I don't know how I feel about it because I don't really know who made it. And that's kind of my concern of like, what's going on here? Like, I don't even know if I'm at the right website now because it's not well made.

No, it doesn't. I'm looking at it too. It doesn't look good. like if i wanted to i legitimately like don't know where to find the porn here like there's somewhat not safe for work pictures but there's nothing that like would be banned from instagram if that makes sense like there's no nipples like i don't think there's really a visual medium here

Speaker Ai think it's all supposed to be okay all right so you know it's you can be sneaky with your

Alexborn just in your airpods i oh that's that oh yeah no that's that is uh a reason i think that a lot of people have this um and i mean the interview on not on hotpod um what is it i can only remember one at a time i'm sorry i'm sorry nick um but i just i think it's interesting because uh like audio porn is more accessible i guess and easier to i don't want to say easier to produce

but it seems like something that is more accessible for people to create um except i don't know how to like do you pay for this website i truly don't know what's happening mostly i'm upset because now when you type in quinn and podcast you're not the first results as you should be i think I don't think I was ever the first result. Oh, you absolutely were. Because I tell people to Google you when and now because you're a big deal. And that has always worked.

Do you not Google yourself?

Speaker AThat cannot possibly be true. Of course, I Google myself. I don't just Google my first name and my industry. Okay, hold on. Well, Quinn Rose podcast. Maybe you're still up there. The War Room. Quinn in the morning. Okay. Yeah, the problem is there's like a morning radio show that was the war room with Quinn and Rose. So my SEO is bad. Oh, Quinn? I should have a different name. Oh, God, this is something I'm going to listen to. Oh, boy. I think I'm on the second page if you just do Quinn Rose. That's why I have a brand name, too.

Because if you search aspiring robot, you get me.

AlexI mean, I have so many questions about your, well, your gamertat. What would you call it? It's kind of your brand.

Speaker AMy brand. but it's don't touch my brand oh no my brand

Alexoh i'm i'm i'm giggly today because uh of this lovely monster energy drink do you drink anything

Speaker Awhile you while you pod i have a water and an iced tea what what kind of iced tea um i just made it and oh all right yeah I've been making iced tea so I I okay this is not interesting yes it is I

Alexput it in it's probably not interesting to some people but neither is audio erotica I'm sure but

Speaker Awe're talking about it anyway yeah this is this is the spicy takes we have but okay so I love tea like all pretty much all I drink is tea and water but obviously it's very hot right now and what I've been doing though is I'll still make a hot tea and then I will sweeten it because I like unsweetened hot tea but I like sweetened iced tea because I don't know why anyway and then I'll put it in the freezer for an hour so it'll cool down and then I'll pour it over ice and then I have iced tea and it's like nice and fresh and homemade um so this is from a blend that's like a blend of um

Alexwhite and green tea and it's really good is there caffeine uh I mean I know the green tea has a bit of caffeine and I used to be way more of a tea person when I was bougie and could go to coffee places and for meetings it looked more professional than saying can I just have some hot water in a cup please which is normally what I do at Starbucks and they make fun of me but I'm just really trying to cut back on things like these large monster energy drinks that have

no calories but yet make me feel a whole bunch of ways uh so that can't be good yeah I I can't do energy drinks normally I'm all for putting um strange science things into my body but this is one I should cut back on and and the reason I also ask is because I found well you you know this uh there's a brand of seltzer water now called aha that has like the same amount of caffeine as a green tea. And I'm like, I don't know how much that is. And there doesn't seem to be a definitive

source. So what, how do you feel after a green tea? I know that white tea is pretty much no

Speaker Acaffeine, right? Yeah, I think I'm not an expert. I'm trying to be, I love tea. I'm trying to learn more about it. But I think that white tea is less and then green and black have more, um this basically and it it has far less caffeine than like an equivalent cup of coffee but it still has some caffeine so for me it's really nice because after i drink a mug of tea or whatever i feel like like i am a little bit more awake and i feel a little bit easier to focus but i

if i don't have tea then i don't like i have no caffeine withdrawal because it doesn't have enough to like trigger that response unless you're having like 10 a day which don't do that um but yeah it's I think it's a lot harder to develop a caffeine. Oh, my God. I think it's a lot harder to develop a caffeine. It spreads.

Dependency on tea because it's a lot less concentrated.

AlexHave you ever been a caffeine addicted person?

Speaker ANo, because I can't drink coffee. It tastes terrible to me no matter how much sweetener I put in it. So I've never, and I hate energy drinks too. So I've just never been able to consume enough caffeine to give me a dependency.

AlexThat's actually very useful to, well, one, no, is your friend, but to help me sort of wean off this caffeine, especially during, you know, quarantine, which I'm still, I'm still pretty much doing, even though most, I shouldn't say Chicago hasn't opened up really in terms of COVID. Like it's still, I don't know, you go outside more than I do, right?

I think probably everybody does. I do.

Speaker AI've been going outside a little bit. I went to an art museum. That was like the biggest thing that I've done. I don't do like dining anywhere, anything like that. But I did go to the Art Institute on one of their free days. And it was really interesting. And it's like, it's like places are open again, but everything is really kind of locked down in terms of safety precautions like masks are required indoors absolutely everywhere here and there's lots of capacity and distancing limits and everything so that's kind of the vibe in most

places and there is indoor dining available in Chicago but I no absolutely not like I I really

Alexdon't like to get on the train of shaming individuals for you know going and having dinner for whatever reason or uh I will shame please please wear a mask like I'm just asking you I'm breaking the fifth sixth I don't know how many walls we've developed in this podcast dimension uh but in Chicago at least I have been sort of impressed at some of the small scale infrastructure that's been put in place at uh for example actually uh when I took my cat to the vet

They had really clear signage of like, stand here, don't sit here. It was some of the best designed, like, line management is what it's called in, I guess it's called that everywhere. But a big part of my job used to be designing lines that were safe. And this was pre, you know, people coughing and killing each other. and I realized though that it's very privileged spaces like uh you know why am I being coy about

going to a dispensary it's legal uh the the best place uh that they've I think have put social distancing in practice is like the weed dispensaries in Chicago because they have so much money and so much traffic that they can do that. But man, how do you get groceries and stuff?

Speaker ASo I have a whole routine with groceries now. And my local grocery store closes at 10pm. So I come in at a cool 8.30pm on a Friday or Saturday night when there's no one there. And so that's how I feel the best getting groceries um because you know there are mask requirements but people are bad at wearing masks because they have they don't cover their nose and i'm like is this how you also wear condoms i don't understand what i think the point of this is um that's such a good point oh my

god and no one follows the one-way lines on aisles and one day i will kill someone because it makes me so angry like i know i know that like the individual people going the wrong way in a one-way aisle on a Mariano's is not the vitally important issue of our time but it's just so

Alexinfuriating to watch happen anyway well it's you know Merlin's old adage of keep moving and get out of the way is more relevant than ever I think especially because a lot of essential retail workers are basically now tasked with enforcing people to wear masks even though they have not gotten a raise suddenly they have to they have to confront already usually belligerent customers

and who who already are putting themselves and the the people not wearing masks are obviously putting themselves and other people in danger. So I've seen people having to like, oh, God, like there are so many viral videos of workers coming up and like telling customers, I'm sorry, you need to wear a mask. But seeing it happen in real life is just as jarring. And I don't know,

it's super weird how is it i mean i the the grocery store that i go to here is like there isn't really anything close to me that's like a small market like there's jewel and target like even if i could travel safely to a small place it's really far um and it's like i i don't know i don't want jewel workers to have to be the mask police like you literally

are paying a security guard and not that this is a political podcast or that we have any opinions about it what's whatsoever this is a very non-controversial podcast i know i know no one has feelings about it uh we should i mean because we have actually prepared for the show i i think uh i mean we've gotten through try quinn.com um i don't know if i can endorse it

because i truly don't know what is going on here uh i hope that it makes independent porn producers like more autonomous i i don't know we'll see how this shakes out uh kamala harris has been nominated as vp uh you you put this brilliantly i think or at least a tweet

Speaker Ayou sent me yeah this is the only good take i've seen about this is someone just tweeted this election is literally cops versus robbers and my personal take because you you text me about this to remind me that i had to be on this show today and i was like oh no um but i had just been having a conversation about her being announced and my take was biden harris 2020 they're fine

Alexthey're fine it's fine they they exist please please vote but they're they're fine

Speaker Ai don't consider this a sweeping progressive victory i also am going to vote for them yeah that's i can hold those two thoughts in my head at the same time i really hope that they are elected and i look forward if that happens to being angry at them for four years exactly yes And that's, you know, I'd rather be angry at them who are more likely to listen to me than die, which is kind of what we're looking at with the other option.

That's how I feel.

AlexThat's a hot take. What house?

Speaker AOh, very spicy that you, you know, value your own mortality. I don't want to die. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for this political opinion.

Alexoh biden harris 2020 at least you might survive

Speaker Athere are whole meme accounts now of like it's it's like reluctant biden memes on instagram where it's just like yeah we don't like biden very much but we're gonna vote for him and you should to because we choose life like that's like yeah it's yeah biden and harris the pro-life

Alexoh boy i mean i look forward to all of the hot takes i i haven't really listened to any political shows yet do you listen to any political podcasts other other than the one that you edit I don't know if this is a political podcast.

I don't know if this is a comedy podcast. I truly have no idea at this point. But where do you get your spicy takes from? Other than being smart.

Speaker AOh, God. I don't listen to any, like, overtly political podcasts anymore. I used to listen to a lot more, and then I got tired. But I do listen to What a Day every morning, which is a daily news podcast from crooked media hosted by gideon resnick and akila hughes and i this is just a plug for akila hughes because i love her very much and that's why i started listening to that and so i listen to that every morning to kind of get um like news updates and

a little bit of fun personality perspective on it and then i just log on to twitter and then i bang my head against the wall 10 times and then i go to work a routine we can all get behind

Alexthis is my thing about twitter takes okay you didn't ask but the bring bring it on bring it on do you think do you think a man has ever asked me can i can i give you an opinion right now please

Speaker Aplease get throw the takes i've been thinking about this for a while and i'm sure this is not an original observation but the thing that it really gets me about hot takes on twitter is that everyone like on the left is that everyone is convinced that their take is the more woke take it's very fascinating to me to watch this is that people who support biden and harris are saying that they're the more woke people because of this and this reasons and people who don't support biden harris think they're the more woke people for this and this reasons and like this exists for

any dichotomy especially in elections that i've that i've ever witnessed on twitter and it's so fascinating to me because it's like there's lots of valid reactions and like tons of things you can say about on all sides of this but the weird positioning and jostling for position that you have to be like the most woke and that's how you have to justify your position is fascinating to

Alexwatch it really is i always jump into the replies of a trump tweet i know i shouldn't but oh dear There's well, but I mean, you're you're right in that, for example, the the right or what people consider to be like the centrist left, I guess. I don't know. That's the thing. I don't I don't know what to call anybody or anything anymore. The all of the hot takes and replies like we we've established or the world has established like, of course, you're you being like, sir, sir, Mr.

Cheeto doesn't change anything and then it just starts fights on Twitter but now it's it's not just infighting like like you said it's a battle over identity politics by a lot of people who don't believe or don't support identity politics and then it's like you're a class traitor and I

Speaker AI don't know.

AlexI was pleased to see, though, that Nancy Pelosi released a prayer. Did you see this? No. Oh, okay. I feel like I was Jay Leno on that. See this? You hear about this? Cars.

Okay, Nancy Pelosi prayers. because um you know uh thoughts and prayers have definitely worked out so far uh i believe she released this sunday morning um it was yes it a house speaker nancy pelosi sent a dear colleague letter to fellow democratic members of the house on sunday that simply included the text of what she called a responsive prayer for justice uh and i you know believe in putting prayer back into

pods so i would may i read this part of this letter this letter slash prayer you know i'm a guest in this space so i feel like i can't say no well um god it uh let's just do a part of this Dear Democratic colleague, on this Sunday morning, as we pray for the American people, I wanted to share a responsive prayer for justice. Pray for those who are hungry. Pray harder for those who will not feed them.

Pray for those who struggle each week to pay their bills. Pray harder for the wealthy who do not care. Pray for those who are homeless. Pray harder for those who deny them shelter. Pray for the sick and lonely. Pray harder for those who will not give them comfort. and it goes on and on like that like basically a beatitudes type of yeah uh i talk about my catholic upbringing and my own catholic beliefs on this show because it really shapes like my

leftist and progressive politics i don't know what to call them but uh this whole thing is very much Like, obviously, well, literally pray harder for the Republicans who aren't letting a stimulus bill go through. Like, she's sub-praying them. Oh, my God. But I don't know. This felt like just a big old slap in the face, kind of.

Like if you really want to get into which you don't, you being the audience or most people don't want to get into why, like technically if you're Catholic, you do want to pray harder for the wealthy who do not care because it's harder for a rich man to get into heaven than something, something. I'm a bad Catholic. Is that the camel through the eye of the needle thing? Thank you. I'm a fake Catholic girl.

But this is just the most tone deaf, weird thing. And smarter people are going to dunk on it and be mean to her. But doesn't that just kind of this kind of make you sad? And also like, what what you up to, Nancy? Like, why? Who wrote this? Like what what staffer thought this was a good idea to release a prayer, you know, the bedrock of the Democratic Party?

Speaker AWhich is so weird, because like, yeah, there's the whole actual Christian aspect of it. That's like you're supposed to pray more for those people because they're not going to get into heaven. So you're trying to like save their souls, which, OK. And then I guess on a more like earthly level, it's like, I guess, pray for them to find God and therefore become good people who share their wealth.

AlexIs that what we're going for? I guess. Like, I thought that Catholic Twitter would kind of be all over this. Like, well, actually, this is a prayer. But I mean, I don't know if Nancy Pelosi is Catholic and doesn't matter. because i i don't know if this is actually a common christian belief like i know a lot of archaic and useless uh facts about catholicism but not christianity in in general um and uh okay

wait nancy pelosi catholic oh it it was funny that um i a i believe it was a bishop this morning tweeted like oh sad first time uh a catholic isn't on the democratic ballot in a long time which is weird also on a number of levels because biden is catholic has been on the ticket for

Speaker Aquite a while and also why should it matter um but i'm okay i'm so confused oh my god okay

AlexI can't parse that sentence at all. Okay, so I am, was this an Alex confusing sentence or just confusing in general? I think it's kind of both.

Speaker ANo, I understood what you said. I just understand, I am just confused by the sentiment. Yeah, I don't know.

AlexLike, did he not know that by, I just, I truly don't know. It felt like a just racist backhand at Kamala Harris having a Baptist upbringing. It felt as weird as the Nancy Pelosi prayer, which I can't intellectually parse at all. Like, I don't know. What's your spicy take?

Speaker AI feel like I'm missing something.

AlexQuinn, should we bring prayer back to schools? No, I truly don't understand, like, why this was good. Like, how did you have time to write this? Shouldn't you be putting bills through Congress to help people?

Speaker AI don't know. Wait, this is like the inverse of all of the conservative lawmakers who got really mad about WAP. And I was like, shouldn't you be giving us money? Why are you mad about the song? meanwhile nancy pelosi's writing prayers give us stimulus money

Alexcan can you explain uh to folks what wop is this is a this is an erotica heavy episode um

Speaker Aoh i didn't expect i didn't mean for it to be but that's fine when i was preparing the show notes

Alexi'm like this is just getting hornier and hornier and i don't want it to be uh but you're the one who brought up WAP, I wasn't going to, and I wasn't going to bring up Ben Shapiro, but we're in this now. So what is WAP? Is it WAP or WAP? I don't know. WAP, I pronounce everything wrong. So WAP. Let's start out with, it's a great song. Agreed. Agreed. The song is called WAP,

Speaker Awhich stands for wet ass pussy. It's by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion. And it is a celebration of having a really wet ass pussy that you're having lots of sex you're having great sex and a big part of it is that you're um i believe i believe the premise of the song is that their respective wet ass pussies are so good and so wet that their men are paying for things for them so it's you know it's very joyful

Alexit truly is i've gotten so much joy from this that i can't even express like my favorite line from the song i don't want to get this wrong let's i i literally put it in my draft so it ah here we go i do a kegel while it's inside spit in my mouth look in my eyes this was he is what come take a dive time me up like i'm surprised let's roll role play i'll wear a disguise uh i

want you to park that big mac truck right in this little garage it's poetry it truly is so i mean

Speaker Aobviously the song is very graphic it is nsfw as they say but you know it's a song who cares but um the conservatives they care they really really do which i also don't understand because

Alexwe we've had the the the you know nsf dubs for for a while now um lots of songs are obscene

Speaker Athat's you know that's just part of life haven't we been doing this for a while but as history likes to repeat itself ben shapiro gets mad about a random aspect of pop culture and then owns himself on Twitter.

AlexOh, it's so good. Can you please put a clip of it in here, of the remix? Oh, my God. Sure. I said certified freak.

Speaker BSeven days a week. Wet ass P-word. Make that pullout game weak. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You effing with some wet ass P-word. Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass P-word. Give me everything you've got for this wet ass P word.

AlexI've been watching it so many times. Now that people have seen it, obviously he says wet ass P word. And I just really like that ass, which is a swear word, curse word. I don't know. Like, he's fine saying that. But acknowledging the word pussy, like, is just too much. It's too much. You need a fainting couch.

Speaker Awell that is it's ridiculous but also i don't like it when i don't like hearing men say the

Alexword pussy anyway so yes you're right oh my gosh yes oh wow that might just i apparently that's a

Speaker Ayou thing too that might just be a me thing but for me like it does seem different and i'm like

Alexno no you're totally you're you're totally right and i mean i did see some discourse about like how oh it's it's really uh it's excluding trans women and i'm like i actually the reason i enjoyed it and the reason my spouse enjoyed it is it's talking about like pussy and in general like there are parts where she's celebrating her own femininity but like it's pretty inclusive to

anybody who has a pussy and also like part of the reason i just realized i why i don't like men saying pussy is because like that's not a medical term like that's people can call their wet ass under carriage whatever they want to but i don't know i i want to hear about the uh in in the food chain i'm the one that eat ya if he ate my ass he a bottom feeder i love it so much that's a great

Speaker Aline oh i love it oh merlin would be having a lot of fun with this topic wouldn't he i'm sure he would love this um i well i think he would just enjoy me trying to not say anything problematic

Alexabout my own vagina i i think that's where we'd be right about now um as i'm looking at the wrong doc uh oh i uh hair hair update do you can we talk about hair or do you want i don't know what

Speaker Athis means but sure like head head like safe safe for work hair like we would like while while i do

Alextalk about my shaving habits quite a bit i just wanted uh a head hair update from you because we both shaved our heads I have shaved my head multiple times while in quarantine and self isolation oh yeah because my hair just goes really fast I'm a big old yeti and now it's getting to the point where it's been 20 days since my last head shaving and it's getting real real puffy Like I am full on hedgehog and can no longer pull it off.

So we'll see now what I don't know. I don't know if I want a shaved head for my 30 year old driver's license is where this is going. Yeah, I don't know if I can pull it off. And I don't know. Should I let it grow until September? I don't. When's my birthday? I don't I'm not doing a bit this is very embarrassing the third anyway um like I don't

want to get a haircut uh but what have you been doing like maintenance wise are that this is

Speaker Areally funny because I actually just shaved my head again like a couple hours ago um yeah I shaved my head in like April at some point I already had very little hair which you also did um and I didn't want to learn how to cut it myself and so I just went all the way and it's great I don't like how hair feels on my head so I prefer to have very very little of it um just in sort of like a going through my day how it feels experience so I'm loving it um I don't know if I'm going to keep

it for the winter but I'm definitely definitely even though I will say like I had let it I don't know how long I went without upkeep um but it was getting to the point where I was starting to like be able to affect the shape of my hair like it was long enough that my headphones or like a hat

Alexwere giving me like hat hair and I was like that's too long yes that's exactly like I I yeah yep that's all I can say basically is is yes because uh I I know now that if I were to be going out later I would have a big old headphone indent um and now I I basically wear backwards baseball hats in wow all zoom calls now oh my god yeah you're such a cool guy no no it's do you skateboard

the

Speaker AI scoot scoot do you have a jewel

AlexI had to think about what that was for a second. Vapes are confusing. Do you find them? Well, by confusing, I guess I mean there's genres of vaping and there's different e-juices. And I truly like don't get how it's made, why it's worse for you, why it smells that way.

Like I just if you vape, I'm serious at Alex Cox. Come come help me because my little brother vapes. And I'm like, OK, this seems to be bad, increasingly bad for your health based on like studies or whatever. and again like the e is it called e-liquid help me you're a youth are you a zoomer this is a point

Speaker Aof contention i don't know um but also i don't know anything about vaping okay yeah i think i figured i'm sorry i'm not cool enough to know anything about vaping well as as i slowly i think

Alexcontinue to be a bad influence on you i i had a feeling that because of this you also didn't know like I I know how like weed vapes that don't have the e-liquid oh god I can't I don't know why I don't like saying it but I don't it's I I don't want to smoke liquid I don't I don't know yeah that's I've heard that's aggressively bad for your lungs yeah I have been I like I saw

a thing that I didn't even want to get into that was like, you're like 20 times more likely to get COVID if you're a certain age, like a youth. It's, I don't know. It just makes me nervous. Like I'm, I'm always afraid that there's going to be a thing that becomes the next cigarettes, you know, that I enjoy. Like when, I mean, monster energy drinks are pretty bad uh but like when is it going to be like no seriously

the the taurine is like will give you cancer eventually i don't think green tea is going to give you cancer but do you have any like vices green tea like thousands of years old well that's the thing though people didn't live as long and like that's there's a lot of this is a lot of overlap between actually green tea and and queerness and hormones okay i'll save this for uh go to two-headed girl uh fm.com i don't know this is a show the other show i have um the other

podcast i have which is all about you know queerness and transness with my spouse and you've

Speaker Abeen on this show a number of times well i keep coming on the patreon episodes yeah yeah thank

Alexthank you subscribe to the patreon to hear me talk about queer tv shows they're all very good takes and i thank you and i would say that i'm impressed but i can you be impressed when you already know that the person is impressive i'm i don't know hmm hmm i'm not sure no it is it is i disagree because i think when i say something like quinn you are really smart and insightful that seems like a fact to me you know oh no no but that's if I was like Quinn you're a very kind

person to me like that that's clearly subjective and some people might be like man Quinn's a total jerk to Alex but I don't know I see you as a very nice person to me and that's my opinion but the fact that you are you being knowledgeable it feels like a fact right

Speaker AI I don't know how to respond to that um I will say that I do my best to stay informed and to think deeply about the things I'm going to speak about so if that means that I and if that has resulted into me sounding intelligent then great that's nice you don't sound intelligent you are

Alexwhich is why you should replace me on this podcast. Oh, no. To leave away this conversation

Speaker Aof whether or not I'm smart, I wanted to tell a story about whether or not I'm nice, which is extremely funny to me. And oh, damn it. This is also a story about how I'm smart. Yes. Wait. I hear you went to school in Boston. Go. Please. Go ahead. This is from high school. So, okay. When I was in high school, I competed in this organization called SkillsUSA. Shout out SkillsUSA. It's awesome. But I competed in the prepared speech category. Hold on, hold on. What's SkillsUSA?

Okay. So SkillsUSA is a national career and technical organization in high school and colleges. And so the bulk of the competitions are things like cabinet making, carpentry, um uh like auto shop welding like all of these kinds of trades oh cool and it's really awesome and they have it's a they have all these nationwide chapters and competitions um and they also oh that's so cool cover professional subjects so they have a whole host of like job interview and like

health portfolio for nursing students and I competed in prepared speech because um I guess that's not a surprise because I'm on a podcast right now but I have I have a relatively decent knack at public speaking so I and I'm from Maine which just to qualify this very small pool of competition there were only like nine people each year competing in this but I I actually won um the one year that I did it and so I won first place and then I came back the next year and

competed again and there was only one other person who had also been there the year before and we were all kind of and I'm I'm a quiet person now but I was extremely like quiet and shy at high school and so we're all sitting there like waiting to to go in one at a time and do our speeches and someone says that like they did this the year before and they were like oh tell me like how was it and they're talking about it and I'm staying quiet because I don't want attention on me and then they ask like who won the year before and they go she was a total bitch and then I couldn't say I

had been there before and to this day I don't I don't think I spoke to anyone the first year I did like I have no idea why she said this or if I did something to her but man that was really funny

AlexThat's incredible. I'm just going through all of these fantastical scenarios in which, like, you would have said or done something in this specific situation that would be considered bitchy.

Speaker Alike I because like if someone now thought I was a bitch I'd still you know I would I hope that people don't think that and if this was someone I had a personal relationship with I'd want to rectify that but I could see how that might happen but when I was 15 what did I do to this girl

AlexI think it's in an uh Rami and Michelle's high school reunion which is an adorable movie I think that points out that everybody, whether they knew it or not, probably made someone else's life, life in high school living hell, at least for a little bit. And that has stuck with me for, I don't know, like 10 years, however long ago I saw that movie, like, oh, who, who, who did,

who did I bat? When, when was I the baddie? Which, I mean, I was bad a lot, but like when, that's not true I didn't talk to I was I was a nerd and just quiet and sad in high school which you're all right jazz break challenge dig dug challenge this week's challenge was yours technically i don't remember

Speaker Awhat how this came to be i know we've talked about the sims before that's pretty much how it came to

Alexbe okay well and because i have both of us have a history of playing and enjoying the sims uh but i have not played it in a very long time and you still do correct so here's a little story about

Speaker Amy just just to set the stage of my experience with the sims i don't remember what age i first played it but I first played it at my aunt's house when I was like maybe like 11 or so and I was immediately obsessed like I went to sleep thinking about it I woke up in the morning and all I wanted to do was play The Sims this was Sims 2 the best Sims um I then spent the next however many years of my life playing The Sims it's my favorite video game of all time I have

like got it locked down I've played games where I played games through generations of sims and then now I'm an adult and I didn't have it on my computer for a long time but a little while back I don't remember I got sims 2 on my computer at some point again and that was fun and then I decided to actually make the leap and get sims 4 I skipped 3 entirely I never played it but not the most current version is sims 4 and i actually got that on my computer last year and then i played it

a little bit um and it's one of those things that like you know sometimes it grabs me and then that's all i do for a couple weeks and then sometimes i go months and months without playing it but you

Alexknow it's still very close to my heart i am curious we'll i mean we'll get to the peanut

Speaker Abutter aspect of this challenge well well how do you get the sims 4 onto your personal computer i have the origin app um and then i play it through that oh okay uh what did you do alex

AlexHold the phone. Okay, so this is Origin. I'm glad to hear that you play this game kind of how I played it when I was a kid. Like, it was all consuming. Like, I don't remember a time in my life that Sims wasn't around. Like, Sims and Pokemon have just always been in my life. I don't remember the first time I played it. I just have memories of being in The Sims.

And I was stoked for this challenge. But then I was trying to figure out where slash how to download it. Because it's not in the App Store. And I think Sims 3 is... Wait. the oh oh the sims 2 is in the apple mac store interesting that must be how i was playing it before oh interesting because yeah the i mean the long and boring story that i've created

is that through steam the app that like most people you game through if they're doing pc games has The Sims and has many expansions. And I decided I will get The Sims 4 with the pet expansions. Because I like to pet dogs in video games. Shout out to that Twitter account that's just like, can you pet the dog? And it's just pictures of dogs being pet in video games.

But turns out you can't play The Sims in Steam on a Mac and I like I googled this I didn't I swear to god I didn't half-ass this like can you literally send me a link I'm still not finding it wait origin app the Sims 4 what in

Speaker Athe fuck that was so funny because as you were saying that I was like I wonder why I didn't get it in Steam because I have Steam too but oh that must be why the Sims well but yeah you have to download the origin app and you have to make an account and then they'll let you buy it it's this whole thing but i already had it on my computer so oh my goodness how how did i not oh i man alex

Alexhas been bamboozled by the sims i i've oh god i mean i've always i always obviously been a fake gamer girl because i play games on my phone uh and we can i or i want to talk about um the sims mobile for a bit okay this is this is actually exciting because i do want to do a follow-up challenge with friend of the show kathy who is mrs soup on twitter and you should follow her uh who i didn't know enjoyed the sims but i i feel like a lot of my friends are closet

sims fans is is there a name for sims sim fans you sim heads sim is it that's not a thing it is now i mean it might be so you're a sim head but tell me tell me more about your history like with the actual game like it's i i i don't i don't know like it's a hugely formative game for so many people obviously it was for you so what has kept you in the what what's kept you being a sim head

Speaker Afor so many years well it's it's there's just a part of my brain that it really works with these are all like i've played various video games you know i'm hip um but the ones that i really click with and i really enjoyed are all the kind where you are like sandbox games and you like lead a little life um sims animal crossing stardew valley like these are the ones that i've gotten obsessed with at different times and especially when they have farms love a farm anyway yeah but on the sims that was like the most formative like first time i really experienced this

and um my favorite sims game is still the sims 2 even though it's a lot more limited than sims 4 but i think because it is but first of all because i grew up with it and also because it is limited so i feel like i like have mastered the sims 2 you can't beat the game but i i have um but why is

Alexthe sims 2 the best other than you being awesome at it like this seems to be a shared opinion

Speaker Aoh is it um well i just think that there's just less going on um and i might feel differently if i had if i spent you know 100 hours playing the sims 4 um the way that i've spent hundreds of hours playing the sims 2 but i just feel like there's there's all these like moods and different aspects of all of these different areas like in the sims 2 you know you have your 10 sets of skills that and you know if you learn how to play the piano really good you can also play a violin

really good and it's transferable in that way so it's more defined um the way that you sort of reach goals is more defined in the sims 4 there's all these different layers of it and that makes for a richer game but it's harder for me to feel like i'm actually doing everything that i want to be doing with my little sims um the way in the sims 2 i feel like i really have an innate understanding at this point of what i'm doing and what each sort of milestone that i'm working for requires

Alexi don't know what this says about me as a person um but you kind i think nail it is or like from what I've just seen watching let's plays of the sims 4 on youtube where this the sims 2 which now that I'm looking at it is also the one that I played the most um yeah I felt like I was a god um whereas whereas in the sims 4 it it almost feels like you're more of a show

runner because relationships are so much more of a thing and like I really liked being able to you know create the narratives in in sims 2 like this is when the person this is the house that I've built this is the time that my little minions will go to work and this is how they make money so that they can uh do their what what's it called what's their boning called uh woohoo Woo-hooing. So they can woo-hoo and create an army of children that I can drown in a pool.

Because as everybody knows, you could have a pool in the Sims, put your little Sims in there, and then remove the ladder to get out of the pool. And then the Grim Reaper would show up and it was great.

Did you ever do it?

Speaker AOh, yeah. I played this game for so long that, and I've played, I've played lots of households in the Sims, like totally straight, no cheat codes. And then I've played every cheat code known to humankind. I am a vengeful God. And because you can get some really messed up stuff in there. And so I, I played a family that I just went full cheat code with. And I did develop several bugs, but you can like to make it.

So no one has to go to school. Obviously, you can affect all the money and everything. But you can also just, like, force murder someone in any way you want if you, like, unlock all the cheat codes. You just, like, totally mob the hell out of the game. And then you're like, you're being eaten by flies. And then they are. And you can also create a pregnancy with anyone you want. So when the Grim Reaper shows up to reap the soul of whoever you just killed by flies, you can make it so then your other Sim is pregnant with the Grim Reaper's baby. That's amazing! hot tip oh my god but this does if you go too far with the modding it does create glitches and the

one that i had um i had one i had one game that got so corrupted i had to like start over but the one that i had for the rest of my time playing the sims 2 was um if i had two sims sleeping in the same bed um when they woke up they would be frozen and i would have to go into the like the build mode and delete the bed and then they would wake up so they would just like be somewhere else in the house and then i'd have to buy a new bed and i had to do that like every other night

Alexoh my god this is amazing i i i'm learning so much about you through this i'm so happy

Speaker Aoh my god i also had so many lesbian sims and i'm just 12 years old like i just think they're neat that was the

Alexthat was another point that I think that this game was for me a very much like oh look it these two ladies can date ha ha ha isn't that funny yeah I just think it's funny ha ha ha ha ha and And, you know, I got to make all of the queer families.

And, you know, was still in denial with my own internalized homophobia. But it also, like, yeah, that was great. But I think with each iteration of The Sims, it just got hornier and hornier. Oh, it's very horny. Why is it so, I mean, I guess I know why it's horny, but like, it's so horny. Like, I couldn't get through one Let's Play video on YouTube without it being extremely horny.

Like, I would not want to watch this, like, on a plane. I don't know.

Speaker AIt's weird. Oh my gosh. So when I was, like, 15, there was this online Sims community where people would tell, it was like Sims fan fiction. but they would play through entire families and with screenshots and captions tell stories and some of them were just like i think that some of them were like they would write a story and they would use sims to act it out and some were like they were adapting the story of their sims into a story in real time um and they're yeah like still remember this and then there was one there

was a challenge where you try over the course of like 10 generations or something to get just the ugliest sim you possibly could using the auto-generated sims npcs and so i read this entire like story of over the course of i don't know how long this was um and trying to get the ugliest sim at the end of it and boy they can be really weirdly shaped and then she didn't reverse and tried to get the prettiest sim like at the end of another 10 generations oh my god it's it's

Alexliterally like pokemon brain reading the sims it's like sims eugenics though that's so weird

Speaker Aoh i remember reading it like this is messed up but it was still really entertaining for my 15 year old brain i wish i could i don't think any of those forums exist anymore but i wish i could

Alexfind that again what's what's your favorite thing that you've ever done in the sims oh

Speaker Aum i honestly i think my favorite was this one family that i played through like four generations and because i just it gets so hard to manage a large household of sims and i was like dedicated to this family and i kept them all in the same house and i had like three living generations at a time and then i started ghosts started showing up because like they started dying of old age um and i had an alien baby at one point so like one of the main family members was an alien you can get so you don't even need a cheat code for this if you have a male sim again this is on

sims 2 i don't know what sims 4 is about but if you have a male sim looking through a telescope there if you do that enough eventually they will get abducted by aliens and they will come back

Alexpregnant with an alien baby that i remember being so ah i don't know that that was a time in which my mom walked by the computer and was like what what you doing there what's what's going on uh and i'm like oh she went to space and she's pregnant and was like what now i don't know like a lot of things as merlin would say aren't super wholesome in this at least also in sims 4

i don't know wait you told me that you had played sims 4 like you haven't sunk a ton of hours in it

Speaker ABut, well, let me tell you, when I logged on to EA.com to check in on The Sims for this challenge, the first thing I saw was Sims 4 Knitting Pack. So now your Sims can knit. And I love knitting in real life. And so, of course, I bought this. So I hadn't played this in a while, but I made a new Will Sim family for this. And they're lesbians because I'm gay. and so and one is a high-powered businesswoman and one um has an etsy shop

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