178. Antidote

AlexThis is Do By Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Merlin Mann, Alex Cox, and Max Temkin. This week's challenge, label something.

MaxHello?

MerlinIs this Alex?

AlexOh, I know what I did. Gosh, I have so many handles. I know what you did. Handles? Oh, Alex, you stupid, stupid whore.

MerlinStupid Alex, stupid. That was me hitting myself.

AlexI bet you can hear me.

MerlinOf course I can hear you.

AlexAnd I know why. And that's because I'm a big dum-dum.

MerlinI bet you can hear me. And I know why.

AlexThe input should be USB.

MerlinI may not always love you. All right, now I should hear you. of you. Come on.

AlexCome on, Alex. I'm here.

MerlinI am here. I'm on Skype.

AlexOh, no, I know.

MerlinI'm on Skype. I'll text you. Stupid bitch. I am. God, you're such a whore. I'm on Skype. Did you deuce?

AlexWell, here's the thing.

MerlinHello. Hey! Challenge friends themselves. Hello, hello. Can you... I'm on Skype. I'm on Skype. I'm on Skype.

AlexNow I am on Skype. Well, here's the thing about not shitting for seven days. Then you're really shit. But a lot of it isn't super solid. So it's kind of like, hmm. I don't know.

MerlinI can help you with this. It's called catching up. It's called catching up. Got it. And if you are a fan of Imodium and you have times, the Imodium times, it works real good. So it takes all the water out of your bowels. just like a raisin, right? But then it refills because you drink all that piss water. It refills your bowels with water and then you need to catch up. Now, first you're going to have early squirts. You might have what I call a plug. And a plug is when you drop a deuce.

When you drop a deuce that's like, it's, oh boy, calm before the storm. You know, king of the castle. That guy comes out and then it starts to slurry. Oh, the slurry. And that's when you're going to have some serious moisture in your basement.

Max, you know what you really got to watch for when you're shooting all that right into the water? Splatter. Splatter!

AlexOh, boy. I have a deuce.

MerlinI just woke up. And so I only just now learned about iPads. We're going to need to circle back to that because I imagine you know about iPads.

MaxWell, I both know about iPads and have ordered one. Fuck. Okay. Okay.

MerlinWhat's going on? I literally just woke up. I haven't even had my coffee yet.

AlexI haven't had my coffee. I didn't know there were new iPads. I'm very excited.

MerlinSo what are we looking at here? What are we looking at? Max, Max, tell me what's going on. Reporting live from the show floor, it's Max Temkin. She reported on the just recently announced iPad Pro.

MaxWell, basically, Merlin, this is Max reporting live from Chicago. Basically, as I've settled into my...

MerlinThank you, Max. We can hear you. Great. Please go ahead.

MaxAs I've, you know, Merlin, as I've settled into my new routine here in the post-quarantine times. You know, basically I wake up in a cold panic every morning. I pull out my phone. I go on the news. I go on my various coronavirus subreddits to see any sort of new models, worst case scenarios, new outbreaks, hotspots, if you will.

MerlinAnd, you know, I look at the email

Maxfrom the governor's office, the reports on the percentage of ventilators that are being used in the state of Illinois, just to keep myself appraised of any statistics and numbers. You know, I love I'd love to just wake up and absorb all that information very quickly.

MerlinA lot of people say you're a numbers nut.

MaxI'm a numbers nut. I'm the numbers guy.

AlexNutting for the numbers.

MaxYeah. Now, you know, in my travels in the morning as I'm lying there in a cold sweat with my heart racing in bed, you know, if there's a new iPad that comes out, that may be the kind of information that I come across. You know, Merlin, I've got a lot of information coming out very quickly across a lot of channels.

MerlinNew tranche. It's a new tranche of information. It's a splatter of information.

AlexHot hands.

MerlinAll right. Well, is this anything I need? Because here's the situation. By the way, thank you. That's reporter Max. Okay. Okay.

AlexOh, disagree. Disagree. Hard disagree.

MaxWhat does it do?

AlexI bought it and I don't even know what it does.

MaxIt's got a square camera and I was like, I got to have this. Yeah, it looks good. I can see the side of it in a photo here.

AlexOh, boy. Oh, boy.

MerlinMy daughter's iPad of old, because she is a monster. Like all children, she's a monster. And she is indiscreet with how she conducts her lightning activities. So now I got a wobble. I got a diving board wobble on the port. So that's problematic. And so I said to her, I said, because I'm a great dad, I said, listen, if there is an iPad and I get it, you can have my old one, as you do. So I need this for my work. You do.

You do. Because, yeah, also, yeah, I might get a whole tranche of these. So what am I looking at here? So I currently have the 11-inch iPad Pro, and it's up there with the SE30 for the greatest thing I've ever used, possibly. Don't email me. What? Was that crazy talk that I said that?

AlexNo, it made me very happy. What's the SE30? I did number three right there a little bit.

MaxNice pull. um so is that a is that a normal uh is that a actual floppy disk that goes in there

Merlinoh let's see what into the port is that you know one of those it's extreme it's extreme it's called a micro it's called a microflop and it's got uh it's got 16 teranets of a full m4a uh band band pass wow 19 1989 damn 1989 that was what did that what did that take was that like a modern floppy disk or they're like oh you're asking a real question yeah uh if memory serves so i had an se which was the two floppies and something something statistics the se 30 i'm pretty sure

had a hard drive a 10 or 20 meg hard drive i believe and it also had a floppy but it's it's the floppy it's the floppy like that i grew up with like the one that's yeah yeah like 800 or 1400 or whatever it was yeah yeah exactly it's like what is it it's like three inches or so

Max3x3? Not one of those big ones.

MerlinYeah, something like that. No, no, no. That's so funny. I should send you, I still have so many of my old floppy disks. I will send you some pictures. One says thesis on it. Other one says games.

It's so fun. SE30 was so blindingly fast. I was using that at my big boy job in 1991 and it was amazing. It was so good. Give me the F's and B's. What's the log line on this?

MaxF. It's got the Apple logo on the back. It's new. It came out today. Shit. Okay, I'll go ahead and order it. And then based on that, I purchased it.

MerlinYeah. I should see if I have any money. I do like 11-inch. You know what, Merlin? You can't eat the money, buddy.

MaxSpend it while the spending is good. That's what I've got to say.

MerlinI'm just going to fill my underpants, that I am wearing, with dollar bills. And then I'm going to shit myself. I've got to catch up. I'm going to make a plug and then some splatter.

MaxI would say what you're going to want right now is new iPads. You're going to want solar panels to charge the iPads. You're going to want beans. You're going to want ammunition.

MerlinYou know what you're not going to want?

MaxIt's survival straws. You're going to need colloidal silver. Colloidal silver. Let me tell you what you're not going to need. Money. It's going to have no use in our new society. No. No.

MerlinWe've declared maple leaves to be the new currency.

MaxIt's going to be fucking 9mm ammunition.

MerlinThat's what you want. Well, we have a question for you on the show floor. Are we going to have cellular coverage in the future? So what I'm asking is, it's a $200 difference. Is it pointless at this point to buy cellular? Because we're mostly going to be using those flashlight hand cranks to power everything.

MaxIn all seriousness, I have really value, like thinking of just the uncertainty of like genuinely not, I don't know how you guys, we could get more into this, but I genuinely do not know what's going to happen next week. And I was thinking about that this morning when I purchased the iPad and I was like, often I just get a wirefired device because I can always make a hotspot or whatever. But like, I was like, you know what? I genuinely don't know what's going to happen. And I'm going to, and that it may be that I appreciate having various options for connecting

this thing to the internet.

MerlinI always feel like it's funny, like if you're buying like a, like a iPad mini for a kid and it's mostly going to be by design constrained in how and where it is used, you know, that's, I'm not sure it's really worth it, but I don't know. This is, there's probably a name for this, like an economic fallacy for this. But I feel like if you're going to spend what these things cost, you might as well get the thing. Is that a Marco kind of attitude, I guess?

MaxI agree with you. Also, I've been thinking.

MerlinI also always get the AppleCare Plus.

MaxI've been thinking, you know, let's say we get into one of these shelter in place orders, you know, like I think that's the rumor of what New York's going to do. And you have that, right, Merlin? What, here? Yeah. Oh, shit, I should go. um no i'm at home in the closet are you affected by the the shelter in place yeah yeah yeah uh

Merlinagain we could also get into that more but uh yeah we've been we've been basically trying to

Maxavoid everybody everything since friday and um let's just say let's say you know in chicago right we have the shelter in place and there's a big a big spring rainstorm which is not uncommon and like a tree branch falls and it knocks out uh some of the internet to you know my little cluster on my block, right? How's normally, on a good week, maybe Comcast is out to fix that in 72 hours. I've thought about this so much. Please don't take my internet.

MerlinI've thought about it so much. And that's like

Maxif everything is going well and they're fully staffed and etc. etc. If you have some sort of shelter in place, maybe people are sick, maybe there's already people who've been furloughed, maybe people don't feel safe coming into work, whatever a million different, you know, maybe there's supply chain shortages of things that they need to do the repairs. It could be, I don't know what specific thing it will be, but you can imagine a world where suddenly it is not assured that Comcast is out in 72 hours to connect your internet. And in that scenario, I think you'd be sitting at home going, pretty glad I got that cellular.

MerlinWell, suddenly this would become very real. Woof. I don't want that. No thank you. Hard pass. I'm sorry. Let's talk about going back to the poop talk. No, no, this is good. Hang on. Okay, God, we got a lot of balls in the air right now. Okay, now, I don't want to buy this totally blind because... I bought a bidet.

MaxReally? Does it have hot water? I haven't installed it yet.

MerlinDoes it have the blower?

MaxYou know, I'll be honest. I panic bought it, and I don't know all of the features.

MerlinI don't know if you're going to be... You know, I thought I knew what was going on last week. I'm out of that game, buddy. Woof. No thank you. Woof.

MaxI think what did Matt Crispin said on the Chapo, the election garage or whatever? He's like, I've given up... Beltway garage. Beltway garage. He's like, I've given up predicting what's going to happen more than one hour out.

AlexYep, yep.

MerlinIt's funny. It's funny. It's funny. I don't know if my daughter's got a future. Oh, gosh. Yeah. I hope they've stocked up on, like, I don't know, pliers and coax. Because if that all gets deployed to the comfort ship, the way it's shipped with the Red Cross, if that gets deployed to that, then they're not going to be able to fix your internet. You know what I'm saying?

AlexMm-hmm.

MerlinYeah.

AlexYeah, I just bought an iPad with a different cell carrier because then we have a T-Mobile, an AT&T, and now a Verizon device in our house because that's a normal thing.

MerlinOh, let them find it out. Loving that.

AlexAnd we have Comcast, of course. Oh, my God.

MerlinAnd then you can also make them kiss.

AlexOh, gosh. We make them kiss so much. Do people write iPad slash fiction?

MerlinI have to imagine they do. Slash fiction of literally iPads fucking. Like in a Grey's Anatomy style. Like very emotional fucking.

Alexdo you really want to know that answer the answer is always you know betteridge's law

Merlinis if the headline ends in a question mark the answer is no and i think this is a very old point phrased different ways but i think is there is there upsetting porn of it is uh it's rule 37

Alexthey call that yes uh i wouldn't say oh you're right but i wouldn't sorry erotica upsetting erotica i wouldn't call it upsetting you just squicked me out so hard i wouldn't call it

Merlinupsetting all that mouth wants to do is eat something beautiful um uh no here's my question i'm sorry i gotta we gotta let this go because we we have uh we have a topic from our listeners that i want to bring up um do do i need to do i do i need this dumb case that i never use Do I need the... Does it have a mouse now?

MaxIs it mousy? Obviously, there's the new fancy magic keyboard or whatever, but I don't believe that.

MerlinOkay, so you know it's not obvious. I literally just woke up. It's not for sale yet.

MaxOh, good. I don't want it. The big new feature is that there's some sort of cool new keyboard, and it holds the iPad up like a stand where you can... I hate to say this about an Apple thing, but finally adjust the angle. Finally, they have a little holder that lets you adjust the angle of the screen. and so it holds it in a more sort of rigid like you can tilt it on a little on a little hinge it looks like and adjust it to the viewing angle that you need and then it has a trackpad and a keyboard in the in the little foot okay cool all right so if i get one of these and that that is called that

is called the magic keyboard but alex correct me if i'm wrong i do not believe it is for sale today the keyboard just the ipad is for sale and i think they did say that there's backwards compatibility with the Magic Keyboard for the iPad Pro. Disco.

AlexYes, that is correct. And I am now panic returning and canceling an iPad order because I thought it came with the new iPad.

MaxNo, I believe it's a separate...

AlexLike in the iPad Erotica, but nope, it's a separate device.

MaxMy understanding is it's a separate device and it's not for sale yet. Is that...

AlexThat seems to be correct. Oh, well, at least I'll have $1,000

Merlinjesus christ oh it's fine wait so you're dropping it all together you're so you're interested in

Alexthis was just for the improvement to the keyboard thing no i've logged my ipad hours versus my mac hours and at home my uh like my mac use is virtually zero this is the first time i've used a lap like this this week is the first time i've used a lap uh lap lap mac top okay we'll go with that a lap a lap mac uh in a very long time because the beautiful beautiful iMac pro is it

is at work um it's quarantined and very very lonely right now but i've really gone all in on my ipad and i've loved the 11 inch but but since i've spent been spending so much time you know space is important you need space in your life that's my theme this year the year of space so why not get a big one oh your theme is space i love that yeah thank you i thought a lot about it uh so who knows also the store is broken because you can interpret that so many different ways

exactly what what what the theme of what what oh it's a cgp gray thing yeah it's a don't we were mentioned it was very upsetting i got wait can you can someone explain wait hang on rewind all right all right all right there is a podcast it is called cortex it's on relay fm this podcast is hosted by mike hurley and cgp gray mike hurley likes our show cgp gray who who the fuck knows but he's looking for a small bag and mike mentioned that we talked about the handy little thing tom

bin bag on our show and immediately i went no no no no no no no because that's not what gray's looking for i don't want people to think that we would recommend the hlt to gray because it's wonderful it's a wonderful device it's not for gray gray is looking for a pocket pouch yeah i

Maxwas very embarrassed thanks mike i had an experience i don't know at this point it was probably a couple years ago where i was listening to roderick on the line and merlin said to john you know my friend Max said this I've long forgotten what the thing was but it was just like I got like nauseous I was like this is so

Merlinweird yeah that happened to me the first time Jason Snell said my name I shut my money pants

AlexI I didn't tweet for a month after Merlin followed me really? yes I'm glad I can help

Merlinyou're welcome We have fun here. You know, I disinfected my Logitech Solar keyboard. Now it won't work. Ooh.

AlexOh.

MerlinWell, hang on. Hang on. That's what you call an XY problem. I don't know if I've identified that that was the cause, but it is definitely since I wiped it with wipes that now it's not turning on. I don't know why. It's making me sad. So I have to use this other Logitech that I don't like as much. So that's where I am right now.

AlexAll of us, we've all got some big problems here. I know.

MaxHow's everybody doing? Y'all good? Oh, I'm good. I do feel like I'm starting to settle into a little bit of a new routine, a new normal, which I also kind of hate that it is becoming normal, but it is. you know it's pretty fucking weird just the whole world not knowing what's going to happen how are you guys doing? oh you know same are you compulsively I'm compulsively reading news are you compulsively reading news?

Merlinyeah I'm doing two things that are helping they're very complimentary one is I'm compulsively reading news and the other thing is I keep telling people they should stop compulsively reading news so I'm doing a little of both really

Maxyou know advice can be good even if you're not capable of taking it yourself.

MerlinYeah. It's so true. Just knowing it's out there can be a comfort. That's what Nietzsche said. So I don't know. We haven't told our kid there's no school for the rest of the year yet. We're trying to let all the bad news sort of accumulate, and then we're going to run out of Cincinnati.

MaxShe's probably outside the closet right now with her ear pressed up to the door through a glass.

MerlinBecause she lives in the 1930s. Yeah. Yeah.

MaxI imagine, Merlin, that you're in your study, and it's like a big oak. It's like the resolute desk, and inside you've got, I don't know, a pistol. I have chambers. Yeah. You've got, inside your desk, you've got a pistol. There's probably. My dueling pistols. I have my leather-bound volumes. Yes, yes. You've been there. I think you've got one of those glass cases where you would have like fancy plates. My butterflies. My butterflies.

MerlinYeah, right. Oh, definitely. That's right. That's where I like to mount everything that I've personally killed.

MaxI think you've got a whole bear and sort of-

AlexWait, mount in what way?

MaxLike a taxidermied bear where he's like, he's coming at you.

MerlinYou know me too well. Yeah. Yeah, we're accumulating all the bad news. Then we're going to run what we call Cincinnati Special, which is where you don't tell them really what's going on. But you're obviously so upset that even though you have not passed along any information, you know that the main thing you need to know is that you should be scared. And that's an Ohio thing we do. Well, kind of an Indiana thing, kind of Kentucky. You know what I mean?

MaxNow, is school officially canceled for the rest of the year,

Merlinor is that just you're anticipating? I mean, the writing's on the wall. School is canceled for three weeks, and Governor Newsom last night said something along the lines of that he cannot envision schools reopening by the end of the year, which sucks because, well, you know, the nice thing is she went out with straight A's. So that's good. In some ways, like, you know, her education is going to fall apart, but the documentation is exquisite.

MaxMm-hmm.

MerlinSo, yeah.

MaxAlex, in as much as you can say, what's going on with you and Matt?

MerlinYeah. Are there any vulnerabilities there with the medical stuff and having been in a medical facility and stuff? That's what I instantly thought of.

AlexOh, yeah. Well, and we talked about this a bit before, but my spouse is trans, and he got the, what did we call it? The Wolverine Top Job.

MerlinWolverine Top Job. Yeah.

AlexYes. Yes. The Wolverine Top Job, more commonly known as top or when you get your boobs removed. And we went to Michigan last week.

MerlinThanks, Dr. Gray.

AlexYep. Yep.

MerlinIt's called pink holing. And also my haircut's different for some reason.

AlexOh, God. I never wonder. And one week ago feels like, you know, eight years ago. And we were assured by this surgeon many, many times, like everything's good. He's one of the best plastic surgeons in the U.S. But, you know, and so Matt gets his surgery on Monday in Michigan. And then on Tuesday, it's like, oh, things are getting a little worse, huh? Little bit, little bit worse. But this is an outpatient procedure, okay? So we...

MaxWhen you say things are getting a little worse, do you mean complications or...

AlexBoth, both, in terms of his medical complications and, you know, the worldwide pandemic. Oh, the other thing. Yeah, the other thing. But we were in a sterile hotel room. And I have to say, once you know what a sterile hotel room is, that you never-

MerlinTell me about sterile hotel rooms right this fucking second. What's a sterile hotel room?

AlexWell, no carpet, obviously, obviously. uh yeah it's it's like a it had like that fake there's no bed it's just a tarp there's they they have sheets obviously optional but you can go pick up your own sheets from the laundry area if you'd like so that and and this was this is not just because of you know this was not because of covid this is just because this hotel is close to close to this plastic surgery clinic where a lot of people get this work done. And so instead of staying in a

hotel for, sorry, instead of staying in a hospital for a week, because most people can't afford that, they go and stay at this special hotel. And so we're there and everything is just, it was just so, so clean. And there's, they don't put any soap in. There's no soap. There's no toilet paper. There's nothing. And you think, oh, that's terrible. But no, they have an area where you can go pick it up yourself everything is completely sealed and obviously like still not the best conditions but it was like a little uh like bodega i guess but also way cleaner and then by wednesday

uh everybody in the hotel had masks and gloves and so that that was great um but anyway he's he's matthew is doing a lot better he's sleeping right now uh which is sorry sorry for the audio quinn I'm on my couch in a blanket.

MerlinYeah. You got, you got a bunch of phone blocks. It looks like.

AlexI know. And those are normally hung up on the wall with invisible, like invisible 3M tape because, you know, I can't keep it up when my landlord's there, obviously, but normally it sounds pretty good. Cause it's on a wall. Yeah. Cause it's on a wall. But yeah, look at there, there he is sleeping with all of, all of our cats. We're home now. Everything is, is fine. It's just, it was like at the point where we're like oh when was it it was his surgery was monday we had

considered rescheduling it and even uh it wasn't dr don but we talked with a bunch of doctors and like he'll be fine he'll be fine and he he is fine most of the complications from the surgery that are like really minor all things considered everything's everything's fine um and the good thing about this is we also assumed like he wouldn't be able to leave the house for weeks afterwards anyway so we had already been stocked up on toilet toilet paper and non-peritables perfect that's so serendipitous you know what yeah i was like that's all right so between uh

closing the office and all that happening i'll lose my mind a little bit but you know what i have a new ipad on the way unless the store comes back online so hey cool everything's it it really is and everybody's been so like all of our listeners who are total cucks i don't know why you've been reaching out to say uh you know get well soon and hope you're doing okay what little bitches you are uh but it makes us cry sometimes we're so happy so uh thanks thanks for thank you It's been really great.

Max and Merlin have been very patient with me. And yep, it's going all right.

MaxYou know, this picture of Matt is very nice. I have to say. No, it's really funny. I'm going to say I do not like the Elsa blanket. I do not like Elsa. Is that Elsa?

AlexYes.

MaxI do not like Elsa. I don't like her looking up at you like that. It's not great.

AlexIt's very upsetting. So let's set this radio scene. There's two cats on top of a Frozen branded blanket with Elsa and Anna definitely looking at each other in a super creepy gay way. Like it's clearly it's upsetting because they're sisters. But I did place up in the corner, Merlin, that's a Sobble. It is a Pokemon.

Oh, yeah. Yes, yes. His name is Bando because your daughter sent me a wonderful picture of Sobble. And I was like, oh, and I was literally in front of a Sobble at the Chicago Comics and Entertainment. What is it? Festival? I don't know. We were at a Comic-Con show for work and I was like, well, I need to buy this. Oh, look, it's a little Bando. So hopefully we don't have COVID from, you know, that gigantic fan festival convention that we were at. but it'll be fine.

MerlinNo, you don't even get BO. Just get BO at those things.

MaxYou would know by now.

AlexYeah. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. You would.

MaxAlex, that was on the 29th.

AlexIt was. So that's one week. It ended on the first.

MaxTwo weeks. That's 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 days ago. You would know. You would know. You would know. I know. I know.

AlexI keep telling myself that.

MaxYou know if you had it from C2E2. But everyone probably does have it from that Bernie rally.

AlexOh, yeah. I was that's why I was like as I can't go and I didn't phone bank yesterday either I'm like I can't in good conscience do this today like with also not having any time but

Maxman when's he gonna when's he gonna drop out already hashtag Bernie drop out let's get this thing done drop let's hurry up let's lose to Trump let's put this thing behind us let's go four more years of Trump let's move come on everyone there's no time steady hand at the wheel you know what i'm saying get in everyone we gotta lose an election yeah gosh so what's so so alex what's what's i'm sorry to i don't want to i don't want to pry but matt like like get matt matt matt's doing okay he's like up and about and what's going on what do

Alexyou guys need oh no it's no we are seriously fine it's it's just like any sort of surgery you have afterwards like uh people can it's super cool and gross if people want to go see videos not of my person having surgery uh no you gotta you gotta give us 15 a month for that yeah yeah oh no no no

Merlinno excuse me you want to see if you want to see matt's intact nipples you need to cross my palm

Alexmy spouse is worth 69 dollars those nips don't come out for just everybody oh oh that's right i did i did want to share one small anecdote because the surgery like a small one let's do that one again check check one two levels levels go would you like three two one just say what you

Maxwant to share and you're gonna share an anchovy with us no no no no don't make fun alex what are

Alexyou gonna share no okay okay okay so so after don't don't don't ruin this for me merlin alex i

Maxcan't move on what are you gonna share okay okay you said i want to share a small something with anecdote i said anecdote did i not say anecdote was i like antlers antique

Alexi think you said yeah i think you said something pretty funny but okay i can move on really hard i apologize the point is we the point is we care alex thank you thank you uh the one thing i wasn't prepared for in all of this was uh afterwards you know the surgeon comes out to shake your hand in which I said no because I was paranoid about this way before anybody else

Merlinthank you Dr. Don that's how they test you it's like the questions they ask before you adopt a pet there's a lot of trick questions if you shake the doctor's hand you have to get divorced

Alexyeah exactly it's like do you love him enough really but he's just going over all the things that you know he did to Madden how it went well and but he then towards the very end was like oh and the nipples went back on beautifully which is not something i yeah that's what i was

Merlinreferring to matt seemed happy that the nipples were intact and didn't like fall off like decals they uh yeah and and like the joke is was it like pepperoni or salami is it some kind of an italian

Alexslice mate they they just kind of reap they put the nipples back like where like his his chest was pretty wow welcome to everybody go to two-headed girl fm.com like the way you way

MerlinYou pull an engine out of a VW, you take off the nipples, you put them in some kind of like on glass, I'm assuming, and then you probably cover them.

AlexI Googled, it's a biohazard container. It's so gross.

MaxDo you guys remember when there used to be, do you guys remember for a while when the MacBook Pro had, when you could kind of get in there and change out the hard drive yourself, but you had to have that special screwdriver to take the nipples off? Mm-hmm.

AlexMm-hmm. But it was more, it's more of a RAM situation really though. so they're still able to do it, but you need a professional.

MerlinThey put them on a RAM? Does that involve a Torx wrench? How do you do that?

AlexOh my gosh. Is it an Allen wrench? Biden brain.

MaxThe boobs wouldn't be the RAM of the computer. They would be, the boobs would be.

AlexNo, no, no. The boobs are the hard drive, really.

MaxNo, no. The boobs would be, do you know how people make a gaming PC and they put the LEDs inside of it so it looks like a, that's what the boobs are, really.

MerlinI would think of them more as like a mousing device or some kind of, I would call them affordances, two affordances, no waiting.

MaxNow, some people get those boobs and it's like they've got their computer set up like one of those flight simulator stations.

MerlinYes.

MaxYes, absolutely.

MerlinAnd then you need at least two sets of boobs.

MaxYou have a bespoke throttle.

AlexOh, I see. I see.

MaxWhat I'm saying is the boobs are, they're a decorative component, really.

AlexThey are. They are.

MaxYou're saying boobs are bling?

AlexYeah.

MaxThey're going to be your water cooling system. They're going to be your variable color LED lights. Okay. And then you zap the PRAM. That's going to be your Corsair gaming keyboard where it has the pulsing rainbow LED lights.

AlexWell, that's the thing. The nipples are the RGBs.

MerlinOh, I was thinking of the Razer Turbo Titty.

AlexExactly. Exactly.

MerlinThe Razer Turbo Titty is where you really want to get that on the field and keep it between the lines. It's so important.

AlexYes.

MerlinI'm glad things are going well it sounds like things are going great

Alexno yesterday was like a total shit show and today has been much better other I finally took a shit and I've never had a constipation before really and when did you know that you could that that that can be caused by stress I didn't but now I know and everything can be caused by stress

Merlinthough this is the problem with IBS you get a normal pooping problem and you just poop too much like that's what I have but the but IBS is complicated because first of all, it has a very little or unknown ideology. We don't know how or why people get it. A lot of people thought it was fake for a long time with the IBS. Oh yeah, don't worry. You're going to shit a lot, but then sometimes you don't shit at all.

AlexThat's it. It's a,

Merlinit's a real Janice type situation.

AlexI'm like, that's like the one thing that's not wrong with me. Like I throw up a lot, but I have a fairly, fairly normal shit cycle. So, but you know, things are looking up or down

MerlinI don't know. Well if you manage to stay alive long enough one nice thing is that when you do shit first of all as people say every shit is an emergency I think it was Louis C.K. that says that but I never thought it was funny but also you realize that like you get to that age where like if you don't take a shit you really don't feel whole and then when you do you feel a little bit too whole you know what I'm saying? You feel like you've really yeah no I mean it's like the way like the first time you drank coffee

MaxI love the feeling of having just taken a shit

MerlinI feel like I could go run or something Oh buddy, where do you get that bidet going? Oh, the hot air So nice

MaxAlright, you guys want to get into I do have a little bit of announcements Do you want to get into a little bit of announcements?

MerlinThe announcement of the thing?

MaxOf Iowa I have the thing and then maybe we can get into Did we have a challenge this week? We did have a challenge.

MerlinWhat was it?

AlexIt was...

MerlinLet's see. Wait, hang on.

AlexIt was to label things.

MerlinOh, yeah. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. I just got an email from Dr. Don. It's very concerning. Okay. Oh, no. No, no, no. I have a broken link on a website. And that's nice of him. Thank you, Dr. Don. Oh, God. I think this week's challenge... This week's challenge label maker contest.

AlexMm-hmm.

MerlinMm-hmm.

AlexMy label maker is at the office.

MerlinIt's at the warehouse.

Maxit's it's uh it's still at the warehouse how's the uh how's the mail working for you guys the mail working pretty good for you guys you're getting your packages on time uh i you know it's no big deal i i i don't feel that that's particularly important at this point in time i just i'm just bringing it up just just curious i don't understand why they deliver mail so many

Merlindays can't they just do it three days a week do it here's the thing do it less but do it better That's my request.

MaxI've been getting USPS packages in my house on Sundays recently. Is that a thing? That's Amazon. What? Yeah.

MerlinUSPS has a deal with Amazon to deliver on Sundays. Wow.

AlexOh, my God. That's weird.

MerlinNo, I remember when they first added Saturday delivery, and it felt so heretical. I mean, it would be like Chick-fil-A being open on Sunday. You know, just weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Publix used to be closed on Sundays, too. Used to be Publix was closed. oh no the males mill oh my goodness mail it's boy that seems like it takes a lot of resources for what we get out of mail you know the quality like bottom line we get out of mail as thing

Alexfeels very uh unnutritional to me i don't know oh that's a good yes i mean can you do it like

Merlinwe're on a farm or something and you just we got that big farm mailbox like farms have and just just put my mail twice a week it's fine i don't it's all it's just it's all just shit from safe way and nancy pelosi i mean we all we get is liberal cuck email and with cards and and and and very very impassioned please you know my my wife doesn't want people to die because of guns so she gets lots of gun things and you know oh she's like that she's her mind is going to change soon you know what i'm saying when we're up in the clock tower with some ham sandwiches and toilet

paper i need you to finish your homework fuck you there is no school um that's a label maker contest yeah i i uh went to order one amazon wouldn't deliver it for a very very long time so i pulled out an old one and then realized i don't have any tape for it yep cool well this sounds like a

Maxclassic do by friday challenge but before we get to it let me get through let me do some announcements and i do have a good sorry no that's okay that's okay i didn't do it either i've been i've been busy uh uh battling people in the streets for canned goods closing down all your businesses yeah no you know normal week um all right so here's here's the deal uh i have uh heard from many of our listeners that people are struggling this week uh obviously anyone who works

Merlinwe have money we have money and we want to give you the money yeah we have the money and you need the fucking money uh take our fucking oh shit take our fucking money.com take our fucking money.com

Maxuh listen uh here's the deal anyone who works in live performance anyone who works in the hospitality industry uh is just getting uh incredibly screwed over and you know suffice to say for a lot of reasons that we talk about on Dubai Friday we are just spectacularly ill-equipped as a society to deal with a situation where like, you know, if you work at a restaurant, suddenly you have no hours, right? For example, you have no...

MerlinI mean, like the way to think of it as this settles... I'm sorry, I keep interrupting you. I'm very manic right now. The way to think of it is... Oh, me too! What happens if an industry goes away overnight? There's one way to think about it. What happens if one industry goes away overnight? Oh, it's just restaurants. We'll be fine. Yeah, but what about everything else too? Well, like what if half the jobs go away? in like the equivalent of Labor Day weekend. It's like, as you said, Max, I'm just repeating, but like we are so utterly unsuited. We were not ready for this a month ago

and we're sure as fuck not ready for it right now. And there's a lot of people hurting so hard.

MaxAnd people, you know, the way we've chosen to set up the way we live in this country is people get their health insurance from their employer. You know, a lot of your government benefits and things like that. Like right now, a lot of people, for example, they can't really collect unemployment or get all of their benefits because they are still employed, but they have zero hours. Anyway, I don't want to dwell on it. It's a fucked up situation. And I know that a lot of our listeners and our audience is affected by that. So we have had some conversations this week. And what we'd like to do is the first step is I would like to invite all of the listeners

of the Dubai Friday program to join us on our Discord server. The Discord server, it's like a kind of a chat room. I would say it's kind of like Slack for gamers. but on the Dubai Friday Discord there's this incredible community of very nice people they have already been getting each other's backs helping with things, giving advice

Merlinhardest working mods in the business

Maxyes, we have an unbelievable team of moderators seriously but the URL for that Discord is it is DubaiFriday.club so D-O-B-Y I don't know why I'm spelling it, everyone's listening to the show you got this far but it's DubaiFriday.club and here's the deal We are going to roll out this week what we're calling a mutual aid program. So that is we're going to create some resources for everybody to help each other out with whatever they can provide and whatever they need.

So it's going to start with maybe there's some people on there. Maybe you have some items on an Amazon wish list that you need filled. Maybe you're trying to get a password shared for a streaming service. Maybe you need some sort of professional advice, legal advice, medical advice, something like that. We will have go on the discord. There will be a channel for our mutual aid program. There will be a Google form. You can fill this form out. You can ask people for immediate monetary help. You can share an Amazon wishlist, whatever it is that you know, I don't want to I don't want to guess what it is that people need in their lives. But whatever crisis you have or whatever you need, fill out the form. You can do so you can you can be asked to be kept completely anonymous.

and similarly if you're in a position where you can help people maybe you can give someone 10 bucks here or there to help them with a medical cost or an urgent need in their life maybe you have medical expertise maybe you have legal expertise maybe you have some sort of other technical or professional expertise maybe you could help people with their home networking situation maybe you're just willing to chat with someone or play a video game with someone or spend some time with someone there is you will fill out the same form and you will offer all the things that you can do to help, and people will get each other's backs, and we'll get through this.

So again, please join us at DubaiFriday.club. That's the Dubai Friday Discord. There's already, I believe, over 2,000 active members of the Dubai Friday Discord, and a dedicated team of moderators who keep everything civil and nice on there. And again, you can give help and receive help anonymously. So, you know, we're not, I don't know, we're not like data mining or, taking advantage in any way that I can think of. And I'll say just personally, the other thing I love about the Discord is

as I've been at home all day, it's kind of like the water cooler. When I have a minute to see what people are talking about, see what's going on, I have found it to be a nicer, more civil, more calm, better place than Twitter for my brain. And it does make me feel good to see everyone kind of helping each other out with all kinds of different stuff. So once again, the URL, DubaiFriday.club. We got nothing to sell. It's completely free. Just come and hang out. Help out if you can. If you are in the Dubai Friday family

and you need help with something, please come and we will do what we can to take care of you. That's my announcement. End of announcement. Now for $20, you can get a private podcast with Merlin and he will sign an album for you.

MerlinI'll sign your podcast.

MaxAlso shameless nips

AlexLook at these boys

MaxThat's a spicy meatball At the $25 silver level

MerlinOh boy Okay it's up give a what is it what did I call it take our fucking money.com is it take that's so funny take our fucking money.com take our fucking money.com yeah right now it redirects to patreon

Maxshould it go to do by friday.club yeah you know maybe we'll have maybe we'll throw up a little splash page for this mutual aid program or something just to yeah but go anyway that's that's I love that you are I'll go to take our fucking money.com and do take our money and we the hosts we have also decided to redirect some of our patreon money and we will support the

Merlinmutual. I don't know if we want to... Yeah, we're going to cede this bitch.

MaxYeah, I don't know if we want to get into the amount, but we're going to put a pretty substantial amount of money into it to help people out with their urgent needs. We fucking rule. Yeah, we're cool.

MerlinGood for us. You know, really.

AlexHere's my parade. Hold up, hold up. No, before Jaz girl talking, the reason I love this, you know, patting ourselves on the back, but the... What happens with a mutual aid fund that is so different than so many other programs right now is there's no judgment about what you need, which is, I know Max kind of said this, but there are so few programs that we can't fill every need, obviously.

but someone might be like wait why the fuck do you need an extra usbc cable like what you need a doorstop what's what's happening and it's one of those things where like you know why is that homeless guy asking for money alex are you just are you just looking around the room and naming

Merlinthings you can see uh okay oh no i thought we said that wasn't funny what's his name george glass

AlexGeorge Peter Griffin Dildo cat box

MerlinShit let me start over

AlexOh god no I'm gonna cry everyone I hate this

MerlinCheck out my hug

AlexThank you to everybody on the discord So Alex the nice thing about this

MerlinIs also there's not the kind of red tape We don't know what's gonna happen with all these phony baloney programs That may or may not pass See you guys have been leading the charge Max especially has led the charge on this

AlexMax especially, and our wonderful Discord mods, who, oh, God, they're all wonderful. What a delight.

MaxCan I throw out an idea? I don't have, I'll be honest. We haven't talked about this in advance. I'm just kind of thinking through it. It could be a big change to this program. Let me just throw it out and just don't react too soon. But I've been seeing a lot of this stuff out there, a lot of social movements in this country, a lot of big changes, and I think that something that really, in these times, these uncertain times, something that really brings people together is having a group to blame. Okay. Can we think about that? Is that? Okay. Because I think that could be good for, you know, the marketing angle, right?

Like if it was maybe we should kind of pick a group to be racist against.

MerlinOh, it's sort of like Shirley Jackson's The Lottery, but online.

MaxYes.

MerlinYou know, you get your time in the barrel, and we just arbitrarily decide. And that could be people like people who own dry cleaning stores or something.

AlexMerlin, we know what the lottery is. way to flex that liberal arts education well i think i'm sorry should i mention what we talk

Merlinabout when we talk about love or uh no you want me to go you want to talk about you want to talk about the trial what do you want to talk about here what are we doing no i'm not a i'm no uh

Maxi'm no you know i'm no futurist or anything like that but i could see i'm no language tissue i think that there could be a big i think right you know you want to you want to um buy low sell high right and i think that it's possible that we could get on on the ground floor of some serious anti-Asian sentiment. Some real...

MerlinOkay, okay, all right, okay.

MaxSo I just want to toss this out. We have not talked about this.

MerlinI just want to toss this out.

MaxCould we become racist towards Asians?

MerlinWell, how about, you know, what if we just update a classic and we do Jew 2.0? Or New Jew? Oh. Like, we've got to find the New Jews or the Jew 2.0, and then that's going to be, you know, Boys in the House. We go back, we bring that together, and surely everyone's mad at the banks. I, you know, just as so long as...

MaxHollywood? You know, the Oscars used to be very popular. I mean, obviously none of us here would be a filthy Jew.

AlexYeah, yeah. No, no, no. No, no, you're not a new Jew.

MaxYou're an old Jew.

AlexYou're a Jew classic. You're old. Yeah, yeah. So your family is, what, Merlin, one-eighth Jewish. I'm one-fourth. And so we'll be fine. It'll be fine.

MerlinYeah, we got a little bit. She did the math on her head last night. We got three-eighths of a Jew in the house, if you put them all together. Hey. You know, if you laid all the girls at Radcliffe end to end, it wouldn't surprise anyone at all. That's Dorothy Parker, bitch.

MaxDing, ding, ding. See, I think that we could get in early on this trend of, you know, Chinese virus.

MerlinYeah. Oh, fuck yes. Okay. So how do we take that and support the president's message by amplifying that and adding a little bit, let's be honest, a little bit of MSG? How do we add some ching chong to the bing bong is my question Chinese virus is still a little bit Coated how do we how do we Can we do it pull our eyes up on the sides Can we say it like this You see what I'm doing so take your Take your two index fingers okay this is the New okay symbol I literally

MaxI literally is that something is that refer To something

MerlinTake your index fingers don't touch your actual Eye make sure your hands are good Outside warning

MaxWarning do not attempt at home trained professionals only

Merlinin the game, allegedly. So you grab a hair on the outside corner and you kind of pull up like this.

MaxWouldn't that be, can I just throw this out though? Wouldn't that be, okay, what about this? What if all the Trump supporters, what if they become so racist against Asians that they start doing the racist eyes and they all touch their face and they die? Holy shit.

MerlinWhat if they go full lifestyle Ching Chong cosplay? And what if they start walking around like in a Charlie Chan kind of outfit or some kind of shinwazerie, like wearing a long gown and walking around at the Target? Of course, they still have the Oakleys and they still have the rectangular head and they still have the goatee. But they're also walking around touching their eyes. Oh, this is an honor to you, Mr. Trump, sir.

Me like ye flied lice. That's the thing my grandma used to say when we'd sit down at a Chinese restaurant. She'd say to the waitron, I mean, like you flyed lice. I'd say, Grandma, maybe don't say that.

AlexOh, man.

MerlinOhio, Ohio, we do it in Ohio.

AlexWe can say it. Shane Gillis can't.

MaxWe can't say it, actually. No.

MerlinThis whole episode is just going to be a fart sound and one hour long beep.

MaxListen, guys, here's my other piece of business. You know, these are unprecedented times. I feel like every day there's some new craziness that's happening. You know, we typically save our challenge for the after show where we talk about the upcoming challenge. But I have got a pretty fucking cool challenge planned out. And would you guys object to talking about it a little bit during the main epi?

AlexNo.

MaxIs that cool? No, it's fine.

AlexEverything up is down.

MaxGo for it. All right, here we go. It's fucking unprecedented times. Oh, Outback Steakhouse. Here we go. Let's go. You can take out. You can pick out. You can get beer delivered to your house. The NBA is canceled.

MerlinStocks, stocks, stocks, stocks. Stocks, stocks, stocks, stocks.

MaxCircuit Breaker triggered. End of the episode. Stocks. Wouldn't it be funny if we announced the challenge early and it triggered the Patreon circuit breaker and they were like, your podcast is going to zero.

MerlinThe bald guy at Patreon is sitting on a yoga ball and suddenly clacks and start going off. What is that? That's funny. Challenge. So we're going to skip over. So label maker, you know, the first thing you do, you get a label maker, you make a label for the label maker. End of challenge.

MaxI fucking labeled and organized just everything in my house already. I already compulsively organized and label everything in my house. Listen, guys, I'm a I'm a I'm a stockpiler. I like to have if I get to find a pen that I like, I get 40 of that pen and I put them in.

MerlinYou have a drawer. You have a drawer for magic trick coins.

MaxYes. And I and I and if I have a coin that I love to use in performance, I do not have just one of that. coin i get four or five of them because you know you're gonna break it you're gonna lose it whatever's gonna happen two two is one one is none exactly and uh i am fucking well equipped i probably have enough shit in my house to like read magic books for however long this quarantine is which should be at maximum another what seven eight days seven eight days probably yeah we'll

Merlinbe back but you know it's gonna pass through is what he said yeah you almost have like a it's almost like uh like dubai you've got you've got a house inside your house in some ways you know

Maxsaying yeah i have sanctums within sanctums um and so it was an organization challenge max what what's the what are we talking about all right here we go challenge challenge of the week are you guys ready ready i think i have set up i have set up a high performance minecraft server where we will all log on with the dubai friday audience from home and we will each build a home in Minecraft.

MerlinNow, Merlin, I can tell how excited you are. I thought I was going to play Flappy Cross on Friday. I'm confused now. Are you not playing Flappy Cross? Wait, okay.

AlexNo, no, no.

MerlinShe made me watch a half hour video about a quote unquote deserted island with animals that build tents. And I bought her that. So I thought that's what I was doing.

AlexShe's doing new horizons? She's beside herself.

MerlinIt's all she talks about. Okay.

AlexOh my God. Fuck yes. You're going to have to. Okay. Sorry.

MaxWe're going to have to share. You're going to have to share friend codes with Veronica because she's going to want to visit both of your towns.

AlexOh yeah. Well, actually an island. It's so much better hearing it from her than a scout master.

MerlinI want to come by tonight and visit your tent. We're going to do a bulk check.

AlexQuick, quick side. This is not a challenge, but as people will know, everyone should know, Animal Crossing is New Horizons is coming out to the Nintendo Switch on Friday. And if you don't know what that game is, go look at it right now. It's adorable.

MerlinIt's so cute.

AlexYes. If you would like to be my friend and want to trade Nintendo Switch cords, I will... Wow. Nintendo Switch codes. That will also be on the Discord.

MerlinDo you self-identify as a Switch?

AlexI identify as a switch light, actually.

MerlinOh, you're a power switch.

AlexYes. Mm-hmm. Okay. But that will also be on the Discord. So I am going to be building.

MerlinIs it soothing, Alex? It looks soothing.

AlexIt, I don't want to get, I will, there.

MerlinOkay, sorry, no labels, no labels. It just, I like it when they say, oh, and the seasons change. And then you can pick apples and mushrooms. I'm like, I want to pick apples and mushrooms. Yes, I want to build a snowman. Like, I want to do that. She couldn't sleep last night. She was feeling anxious. So she came out and she's like, we watched the half hour Flappy Cross video. And I was like, of course we can watch that. And I was like, I'm so going to play this. This looks adorable. Oh, my God.

AlexI'm going to cry. Oh, my God. I'm going to cry.

MerlinNow, Minecraft, if I understand from Dan Benjamin, who's also doing a Minecraft server, do I need to play it on desktop in order to interact with you people? Correct. Okay.

MaxSo I need to get that.

MerlinReally?

MaxI only have to run Java on my nice computer. Here's the deal. You will have to purchase the Minecraft program for $30 or pirate it if that's possible. You will have to install it on your computer. And then I have secured two domains and we need to make a decision about which one we want to use. So I purchased giveusyourfuckingblocks.com and I purchased coxblocks.rocks.

MerlinWell, I think that one pretty clear.

MaxYou like coxblocks.rocks?

MerlinI mean, one is easier to say over a phone, cell phone on an airplane. And the other one's fun. I like the second one.

MaxCoxBlockRock? Cox. CoxBlocks.rock. So you will go to, I like that. Oh, also the Minecraft server will be 100% family friendly. So no cussing, nothing dirty. We will have some amount of moderation to enforce that. And I actually probably think it's probably a good idea not to use.

MerlinNo swears, but still some challenging content.

MaxProbably should not do give us your fucking blocks.com so we can make it. Because it would be fun if people want their kids to play and they don't want them to. Absolutely. So we'll do. So it is Cox blocks dot rocks. That is C-O-X blocks. B-L-O-C-K-S dot rocks. R-O-C-K-S. Cox blocks dot rocks.

MerlinOh, no. My rocks.

MaxCox blocks dot rocks.

MerlinMinecraft. Minecraft Dungeons. Minecraft Earth. Minecraft. Now, Dan got me all confused. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking new to this. I'm going to play the goddamn game. I'm so confused. Okay, so there's like one that's based on this one kind of engine. There's the bedrock version. And like, do I just get Minecraft off of website? Yes, just go to Minecraft and just download the Minecraft client and you put it on your computer.

MaxAnd as of the time when this podcast comes out, if you go to CoxBlocks.rocks, there will be a little page that has like a configuration that will just tell you what to type to connect to the Dubai. Friday server. And also the server is free and I will commit to keeping it running for at least a year if not indefinitely. So feel

Merlinfree to build a lot of projects for you. Well I know it's not for me. I want to buy it but it says when I look at what the money costs it says rub 1900. What the fuck have I been hacked? It says rub 1900. Is that a rubles?

MaxDid I get hacked? Are you on

MerlinVPN? I'm on minecraft.net Let's see. Yeah same. So is that make believe Minecraft money? Or I'm actually, have I been hacked?

AlexOh, you are in merch, I think.

MerlinYou don't want to be in merch. Here, here, here. This, this, this. What do you see for the cost under buy Minecraft? I just sent you a link.

AlexYeah, I'm trying to, oh, the Java. Yeah, we need to specify that people need to get the Java version, correct? That is correct. And install it. That is correct.

MerlinOkay. I see dollars, Merlin. Oh, shit, dog. I think I've been hacked. Maybe if I log in. All right. Okay, cool. We'll do this. So let's spend some time to make sure we get all this right in the notes. I don't want people to buy the wrong thing or something.

MaxNo, it's not. It's a little complicated. But what you want. Here, how about. Let me put it this way. There should be. I believe there's only one type of Minecraft that can run on PC and Mac. So you do not want the Minecraft for mobile. You don't want Minecraft for console like Nintendo Switch. And you don't want it for any other device for an Alexa or anything like that. Just get it for your computer. For your good old fashioned computer. Okay, cool.

AlexIt will be the very first thing in show notes. How about the link to where you buy this? The specific version will be the very first link in show notes because this site is very confusing. And I thought once Botch went away, they would have fixed this. My, oh God. But I am stoked for this. I haven't played like modded versions or server versions of Minecraft since it was in beta a fucking decade ago.

Wow. And I am psyched. Also, can you guys hear that ding?

MerlinNo, what's ding?

AlexOh, perfect. Good. Yay. There we go. Cool. I did it right. Awesome.

MaxMore chimneys. Woo. You know, I would love to look at the chimneys, but I can't go outside.

AlexMerlin's looking at the chimneys. Oh. Did you see?

MerlinSelect all images with chimneys. Look at that. Isn't that sad?

AlexSelect all the images with chimneys.

MerlinI don't know if that went through. My Mac doesn't work. Wait, I did select all the images. okay I'm going to close this and focus on you guys right now

Maxnow alright so what else do we want to talk about I mean there's been so much that's happened this week you know I've been at home we've had the same thing happen over and over every day at home in an awful monotony we can talk about that

Merlinwell I'll just toss this out and you guys we can cut this out or skip it but we've gotten a lot of feedback from our listeners specifically about getting into the markets a lot of people have expressed an interest now that people are talking about markets and they say, I want to get into the markets. So I thought maybe we could talk a little bit, maybe do a little bit of a Dubai Friday guide to getting started in the markets. Because this is a time you could buy on the dip, is what they say. Buy the dip, ride the wave, buy the dip. Ride the wave. Do you think that would be useful to our listeners? I mean, be honest.

MaxOh, well, I would love to know. I would love some, if you have some sort of tips and stock tips, I mean, yeah, I'm going to do it.

MerlinWell, I mean, obviously I'm going to turn to Alex. she's the one that knows the most about this. She's going to lead a lot of it. So would you want to help people understand more about the markets?

MaxWell, at first I think, before we even get into that, I think Alex should give us some advice on, you know, Alex, I'd love your take on Trump's approach to monetary policy.

MerlinYeah, how do you feel about that? Do you think he has a very fractured relationship with the Fed, but how do you feel about the easing? And should we go down below, you know, 0%?

AlexYou know, I love going down.

Maxso yes down down down yep okay all right now what about the yield curve does the is that

Alexconcerning to you yeah do we need to flatten it uh i i i do want to flatten the curve i i love my wife and the flattened thighs well two things two things you never want with nipples two things you

Merlinnever want with nipples or yield curves is for them to invert yeah that's what mark twain said

Alexexactly do you have do you record do you have a specific i know you've been doing this for a while

MerlinDo you have a specific recommendation for a strategic position on ETFs, for example? Like, where are you on that? Where are you in that space right now?

AlexEstimated time farted. I mean, I use a regular old stock watch, but, you know.

MerlinI see. Like a smart watch that would be able to help incorporate that into your data corpus.

AlexYes.

MerlinAnd when you're looking at moving some of your capital around, do you have a position on operating profit versus uh EBITDA uh uh like like letter like capital

Alexcapital letters i like to use um the drafts app uh but i you know i i say go with your gut with

Merlinthat one is it called camel toe camel case what's that called camel toe right uh yep yeah if you have any questions about the markets uh just you know i guess uh put them on the internet and we'll

Alexfind them yeah yeah uh at alex cox on twitter buy the buy buy on the dip do you buy the dip max

MerlinAre you a dipper? Do you do school or anything like that? When do you buy?

MaxYou know, Merlin, I do not own any stocks. Really? I don't own any stocks. Well, I'm going to blow you away. Neither do I. Hey.

AlexNor do I.

MerlinMy retirement plan is to die young.

MaxOkay. Well, the ship is sailing on that. Can do. Can do.

Thank you.

Show notes

Transcript

178. Antidote

Show notes

Transcript

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