95. Alexa, STOP!

AlexThis is Do By Friday, a weekly challenge podcast with Merlin Mann, Alex Cox and Max Demkin. This week's challenge, drop in.

MaxA lot of activity in my official Forbes 30 under 30 Facebook group.

AlexOh my God. hello Merlin

Maxhi Alex how are you Washington Post we're just doing the show now what the fuck is going on I'm self conscious in a way I've never been before what if no one likes the way I smell it's summer in Washington so no one smells all that great but this night was different from your average gathering of sweaty bodies I was about to enter a pheromone party where strangers would be inhaling my scent via a t-shirt I'd been wearing. It's a fun, if strange, experiment. Singles are meeting in lots of odd ways these days. Perhaps sampling

each other's DNA the way you might go wine tasting makes more sense than swiping through photos on a dating app. Really? Where are they? Okay. Really? Where are they? That's a pretty big leap there. This one tastes like lemon. Quote, it's a lovely experience to not visually judge someone, to smell someone before you see them. No. Said Amy Morse, who organized the phenomenon party with Pake, a new DC arts organization she co-founded. Isn't that a Japanese candy?

of the shirts whose scents I found pleasing. Pheromones aside, the room's odor print. Is that

Alexsomething? It's in Washington Post, so it sure is.

MaxPheromones aside, the room's odor print was overwhelming. Like, I guess like a Magic the Gathering tournament.

MerlinOr like getting massages

Maxat Gen Con. Yep, just face down in that fabric donut for an hour. Just drooling into the same shirt as everyone else in the Indianapolis Convention Center in a 95

Alexdegree heat. This year? No, no, no. This year there was an upgrade where they you know how you put like paper over a toilet they put little sheets on top of the face donut so that's hygienic yeah exactly a little condom over there

Maxone of the party girls who is a kombucha brewer was serving samples of a matcha cacao concoction and a mini mason shell have you ever been sitting chicken no both ingredients are aphrodisiacs he told me another had a large group queuing up for her gin cocktail with Icelandic black lava salt on the glass's rim and garnished with a sage leaf, which she would slap loudly to release its oils before placing it in your drink. Oh, my God. Oh, and

give me the wrist of your drinking hand so she can swab a line of lavender oil to reduce nervous tension and enhance blood circulation. Did they get any

Merlinhits? Did they get any winners?

AlexWhat do you guys think? Hard no.

MaxWhat do you think? I don't know. I don't know if they said if the author got any uh got any pheromone hits but what do you think would you do that if you had to date now

Alexwait so they didn't even say what oh this is all right well let me find fake news fake news why you can't just leave a story like ah yes i smelled some people would it change if they did find a match would you guys to be more into it i i just want to know for example there was an article back in the internet days when people still read gawker about a woman who went to a conference oh i don't okay we'll do this and it was all about uh pleasing typically female body parts

and the men would just kind of rub their typical female body basically dudes would just rub women off and it was a conference and on their in their basement parts yes in their basement parts but no insertion all oh that's nice like a gentleman yes yes that was that was classy that way it was it It was one of the best pieces of tradition I've ever read. Wait, so the person went to this then? Yes, yes. And she talked about, oh, it's called oming.

Oum. Because like orgasm, I think. Oum practice. Jesus. So a stranger.

MaxI thought our conventions were weird.

AlexNope, nope. Okay, what is orgasmic meditation? Yep. Oh, it's still definitely a thing. Cool, cool, cool. How many levels are there to this thing?

MaxDoes it have multiple levels?

AlexYes, there is.

MaxWould you call it multi-level? Orgasmic.

AlexI don't know if you're doing a bit or a reference, so sure, yes.

MaxIs their business plan have a, if you had to draw a shape that represented their business plan, would it be vaguely triangular in nature?

AlexOkay, yes, because it's a vagina. What is up with me today? There's a starter kit. What does that even mean? Like a vibrator? No, that wouldn't be a starter kit. Yeah, no, no, no. Class lessons. You start off sitting in the dryer.

MaxWhat do I search for to find this?

AlexSit on the dryer and listen to Rick Springfield?

MaxWhat do I search for to find this?

AlexGo to onetaste.us.

MaxThe number or the O-N-E? O-N-E taste.us. Why is it called One Taste? You'll find out.

AlexIt's got four bullets. This is the classiest website I've ever seen. Lesson two, orgasm 1.0 versus orgasm 2.0.

Merlinduring the practice one person strokes another person's clitoris for 15 minutes with no goal other than to feel the sensation yep safe systematic goalless and intimate oh and they have an introductory video oh gosh okay here we go oh there's the dark side i don't like this

Alexwell you're not supposed to like it's not for you it's our parade daily ohm oh that's no no no that's a different thing he just quit social media oh because all the finger blasting oh

Merlinhe had to get out he says i'm done i'm deactivating my clitoris in 30 days it will be deleted

Maxyou're gonna bounce that orgasm right back to 1.0 that's right

Speaker Aoh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes this is so good

MaxThis has all the hallmark signs of a multi-level marketing scheme to me. Yeah, it sure does.

AlexNo, it's not. It's not like a pyramid.

MaxNo, it's not a pyramid.

MerlinIt's a structured triangle. And you're bringing people for your downline. You want to get a long downline.

AlexOh, God.

MerlinIn just 15 minutes a day, you could be banging more fingers.

AlexThere's no penetration.

MaxI'm looking on the site, and I'm trying to find the part where you buy stuff. And I refuse to believe there's not a page on the stuff where you buy stuff.

MerlinLet's go to the starter kit. Oh, you got to send in a form. They have an online form. Well, you can't buy the stuff until you become a partner. Okay. Max, please go to slash learn and read the things by the click boxes, please. Please, please, please. I'll read the first one. You read the second. Yes, add me to the OneTaste mailing list where I will receive both content and special offers. Max, what's the second one?

Speaker AOh, no. Say the words.

MaxOh, God. It's just a checkbox and it says, yes, have an orgasm expert call me. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Hi, this is Todd. I didn't realize you guys would be there on Labor Day. Hi, this is Todd.

AlexUh-oh, there they are.

MaxThey've been written up in goop.

Speaker AOh, God. Man, it's over.

MerlinGoop, goop, goop. What are people saying about us?

Speaker AOh, God. Just as the ocean has one taste, the taste of salt, so does liberation, the taste of truth. They have a center in San Francisco Wellness just got interesting Challenge Yes

MerlinChallenge Just on the top Just outside my cords

Speaker AYou can rub it a little But not for more than 15 minutes

MerlinI'm not a monster How to get started Find courses Find courses

AlexOh god I need to find that

MerlinFind courses Okay they're on Market Street Take Muni there Oh it's powered by Squarespace Build it beautiful Hey My God, my chair is so moist.

Why is there so much moisture on my chair? Why is it so salty?

Speaker AIt smells like somebody fucked a mushroom in here. What is happening? Shut up. I'm meditating, Mom. Mom, I'm being mindful.

AlexOh, I'm fine.

MerlinIt's a global lifestyle brand focused on increasing health, happiness, and connection through proven methods, combining meditation and conscious sexuality. Oh, here's our team.

MaxI'm searching for David Avocado Wolf and One Taste. I bet he's in on this racket somehow.

MerlinOkay, I'll take that bet. One dollar. Here we go. I bet he says Yoni and Lingham. Try yoga.

MaxIt's very complicated because he talks about the taste of things like avocados. Getting a lot of false positives.

MerlinSo you know this guy better than I do. I mean, Avocado has become his nickname. it's because he extols the health benefits? Yeah, yeah. There's nothing bigger. It's not like a peach in that movie.

MaxYeah, David.

AlexOh my God.

MerlinI didn't like that scene at all, Alex.

AlexI didn't like that movie at all.

MerlinThere's too much mushroom farming in that one. You know, we can't talk about that. Have you guys seen that thing on Netflix where that lady from One Taste, what is... We should have a whole problematic episode sometime.

AlexHow is the female body problematic, Merlin?

MerlinExactly, am I right?

AlexHey, it's Alex's birthday today. Happy birthday, Alex. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

Speaker AHappy birthday. How many Spanx does Alex get? 28? Yep. 28 Spanx for Alex.

AlexSure do. Give her some swats. What? What now? What? What? What? Are you birthday shaming me? No.

MaxActually, Alex, I was going to bring you a selection of breads for your birthday present, but they were basically, everything was closed because of Labor Day.

AlexLabor Day.

Speaker Acan I do some follow up

Alexno you know what no fuck it it's my birthday so I got let's we're going to the Alex money zone because Merlin doesn't think I can pitch things hey by the time you're listening to this you should go to twoheadedgirl.com which is the show my wife and I make you can listen to super computer at super computer.fm listen to robot and the unicorn at the robot and the unicorn.fm if you listen to roboism go to relate.fm slash membership and give me five dollars a month please it's my birthday and i i just have some opinions to share i think the

new simpsons episodes are really really good and the first three seasons of family guy aren't terrible um the the i am rock hard right now what else do i have to say this is great alex promote promote more opinions more opinions hot takes okay if you the uh you know what i'm i'm i did more than John McCain, and I'm glad he has no one has a position of power in our government. Oh, no, you didn't. Wow. Oh, boy.

Speaker AWhat about the candy? What about when they pass the candy? Does that make the Iraq war better?

MerlinHave this candy. 500,000 people died, but I don't want you to be too dry in your mouthful area.

AlexDid, was it definitive? Alex, I'm so proud of you. Happy birthday.

MerlinYou promoted like a champ.

AlexOh, and thank you to the listeners. So some very kind listeners, after my wife Maddie changed their name, some listeners might be confused. I referred to my wife as Mel in earlier episodes. That's because they came out as transmasculine and genderqueer. And now their name is Maddie. Does that confuse you? Guess what? You can go to TwoHeadedGirl.com and learn more.

Speaker ATwoHeadedGirl. Can I sing the theme song for you?

AlexOh, oh, well, if you notice, twoheadedgirl.com right now directs to my favorite song. But thank you, the listeners. You sent us champagne to celebrate that. And I was like, and they were nice to ask Max, like, is this creepy? And Max is like, is that creepy? I'm like, no, of course not. But I forgot that Maddie doesn't drink. So Kara and I will be, I literally forgot that champagne was an alcoholic beverage. but don't worry my platonic life partner kara and i the original the the founder of cox's cox

will be enjoying that thank you the end birthday over good job alex alex do you want to address

Merlinsomething semi-serious that might help people uh what's up sometimes people you give people the stick about this but i think this is a somewhat legit question that i would encourage you to answer cut this out if you want um some of us in the in the cis straight white guy community get confused about different things and one of the things is what appears to be an inconsistency and how you choose uh pronouns at a given time for your partner could you explain to us why sometimes you say he she they husband wife why it's sometimes different things and and is that or is that not some kind of inconsistency you should feel bad about i mean i don't want to

Alexgive too much i'm looking for you to educate us because because you can go to twoheadedgirl.com no but uh if you hear me referring to my wife by he or they it's because they use both pronouns And most people don't do that, but they're a big weirdo. Not because they identify as a big weirdo with their gender.

MerlinIt's hard to fit that on a driver's license.

AlexYeah, yeah. It is indeed. Does this confuse or scare you? It doesn't matter because you're not married to them.

MerlinAre you saying that this is the gender identification is potentially confusing and fraught?

AlexIt's almost like it's a societal construct. Alex's birthday's over. Best birthday ever.

MerlinOh boy. Happy birthday, buddy. I didn't get you a fucking thing. I didn't even ring you up.

AlexMax had prepared notes before the show. Do you have more stories?

MaxI read my pheromone story.

AlexThat's beautiful.

MaxThat was about it for this week. We recorded like two days ago.

AlexOh, yes. Happy Labor Day

MaxGo to giveusyourfuckingmoney.com And you become a supporter of the show And we haven't talked about this in a little bit But as long as we're just promoting things Instead of doing a real podcast We have two areas for you to hang out And give us info on the show Especially since Merlin's bravely Quit his Twitter account Thank you In solidarity with the oppressed peoples Thank me for my service Thank you for your service Merlin He took a bold, brave, John Oliver-esque stand and he's not on Twitter anymore.

And so how do you... It's all because of that orange Cheeto, Drumpf. And how do you reach the crew at Dubai Friday? Well, there's the Dubai Friday subreddit, which is r slash Dubai Friday. And there's a little thread where you can talk about each episode and give us suggestions and things like that. And then the Dubai Friday community has really rallied to this Discord server. So Discord is kind of like, I don't know, it's like Slack for gamers, but it's just a little chat program. Is it kind of like when you see like Slack meets Twitch sort of? It's its own thing. I don't know. It's a chat. It's a little chat program. And you download it on your Mac or PC or your phone.

And you make an account. And you join the Dubai Friday Discord, which I think the link is in the show notes. And you come and chat with us. And we have like a whole team of people that moderate everything. And it's actually very friendly and positive. There's a special room for our three female listeners to converse with one another. It's actually a very nice space. And I go there sometimes just to check in on people. And it kind of lifts my spirits. So shout out to everyone who's out there being nice to each other on the Dubai Friday Discord. And if you haven't been on there, join us on the Discord.

AlexMerlin, what do you do on the internet these days? Yeah, what do you do? How do you – what do you do all day?

MaxWhat are you just reading books? Yeah. No, no. See – You're growing your mustache and reading. But like Captain Ahab in your cabin, just pacing back and forth and growing your beard and staring out the window.

Speaker AJust meditating. Meditating with my peg leg. They call it pegging. It's called sea pegging.

MerlinWell, I've been trying to do some research on the people who wear the character suits at Disney parks. And since I was a little kid, I've called them big head characters. Just I think I made up that name myself. It's never been like an official name. But if you search for big head characters, you find, you know, posters in Funko Pops and shit like that. It turns out that these characters, do you know what the actual name is, what they call them, Alex, in the parlance?

AlexI do not.

MerlinFur characters.

AlexNo. That's what they call them. It's an official Disney.

MaxWait, that's the sexy name or the Disney name? Or both?

MerlinWell, this is according to Wikia, which is never wrong, talking here about the theme park characters. They say these types of characters are also often referred to as fur characters, regardless of whether or not the costumes have fur. Now, you can have face characters. What? And face characters are the ones where you see their actual face like an Alice in Wonderland. And I've been reading about what's required or demanded to be one of them. And it sounds very rigorous.

AlexPlease share.

MerlinWell, it's not that exciting. I'm just trying to find out if there's lots of skinny Asian girls in them. But it says here that you have to be a certain height, obviously, to wear the costume, certain different kinds of heights. Now, if you're a small of stature person, you could be like one of the dwarfs. You get a little taller. You could get the regular size. You have to be super tall to wear the other ones. If you want to show your midriff, you have to be slender. This is all in show notes.

AlexYou know what? How fat can you be? Oh, let's find out.

MerlinGoogle fur characters.

AlexHow fat fur characters.

MerlinHow fat fur. How fat fur.

AlexThat's not what I want to say.

MerlinCharacters. Okay. How fat fur characters. Okay.

AlexOh, this is the best birthday ever.

MerlinWell, the first return is on something called, it's a Wikipedia style site called Wikifuro. It's about fat furs. Lipophilia refers to the interest slash sexual fetish in which a person fantasizes about gaining weight or causing others to gain

MaxI think I think at a certain point you become if you if you are a large American and you are a fursuit person Then you just become like an mpreg person Oh, you know, it's an impreg

AlexOh Merlin. Yeah, okay. Let me just get on our super secret channel here

MaxGoogle mpreg. Yeah mpreg. Do you know what do like mpreg sonic the hedgehog? Oh It's a litter M-P-R-E-G, Sonic the Hedgehog.

MerlinM-P-R-E-G.

MaxOh, I see. Like the audio video codec.

MerlinM-P-R-E-G. Okay.

Speaker AOh, Sonic's Knock Up Chapter One. Okay.

MaxUh-huh. Oh, I see. My gay Sonic the Hedgehog pregnancy, dot, dot, dot. Okay. All right. Now they have these for different kinds of characters?

MerlinSure. Oh, yes. Who could we M-P-R-E-G? M-P-R-E-G, Doctor Who. Oh, Doctor Up the Duff. let's see let's go four followers staff dedicated to bringing quality doctor who and preg fiction

Alexjust seeing david teddent with so good

Merlinnow he's got three hearts

Alexhey let me

Speaker Alet me ask you guys you were fantastic

Maxbraxton hicks let me ask you guys this yes uh when you guys go out to a restaurant and you've got a group of people yes there I feel like I have like maybe I've been going out to eat too much or something because I've been very aware of this. Sometimes the server comes up to the table and they go, is this your first time here? And usually when you're, I find if you're with a group of like four plus people, almost always some people have been to the restaurant before and some people haven't been to the restaurant. In any case, it doesn't matter.

Speaker AWell, right. We'll get

Maxinto that in a second. But just thinking about how to honestly answer the question, like usually you're there with a group of... I keep thinking there's going to be like an

Merlininitiation or a spanking machine like is this your first time dining with us yeah oh let me

Maxjust give you the uh well as you know here we have uh we serve a tapas or as it's called small plates and also you have to receive a brand a cattle brand to eat here so let me just go ahead and get that out uh but uh i just it's always fraught because i feel like you know if you're with a group of six people you're usually there because like one couple has been there before and they're taking everyone else to their spot you know you should one time you should just say this

MerlinI've never been to a restaurant.

MaxI've never been to any restaurant. Is that what it's called?

MerlinIs it called a restaurant? I've never been to Foodie Place and Chair.

MaxWhen you go to Foodie Place and Chair, what happens? I've never been to a food house. Do you pick my food plate? Who determines my food plate? But what happens is I'm usually the one who's been there before and everyone else has not. And so sometimes I'll lie and then I'll just say, it's our first time. But then they congratulate us. They're like, oh, welcome. So then I feel guilty like I'm getting something that I don't deserve. Like I'm getting a little congratulations that I haven't heard. You're stealing Valor. I'm stealing restaurant Valor. So sometimes then what I'll try and do is I'll launch into my whole thing of, oh, well, I've been here before many times.

But I'm taking my friends and it's their first time and I don't want them to miss out on any information. So please, if you have a spiel, give them the spiel. But I've already heard it. But then it feels like I'm being too specific to the server. And then sometimes I'll just think sometimes then the other option is you could go, oh, yeah, we've all been here before. And then I'm like, you know what? If there's a spiel, I can tell them that it's tapas or as it's called, small plates. Like I can say that to the group. But then the waiter, sometimes you say, oh, we've all been here before. But then they launch into their spiel anyway. They'll go, oh, good. Well, if you've been here before, then you know that we serve tapas or as it's called, small plates.

MerlinFamily style dining, which means you share the things we bring to your table.

MaxYeah, you're going to want to get about three entrees for the table.

MerlinHere's what you're going to want to get. You're going to want to get the glazed carrots because they're so amazeballs. and you're gonna you're gonna want to pair that with our cabernet brussels sprouts because they

Maxare just lit af do you ever or here's another one do you ever ask the server sometimes i can't decide and i'm like should i get a or b or sometimes i'll just say i don't know what to get here what's the what's the special thing that i should get here and sometimes they like maddeningly like won't

Merlinanswer like maybe they've been instructed i don't i like i like almost none of the answers the least

Speaker Athe one i like the least is everything here is good oh fuck you you work here you know what

Maxshit has crotch all over it get out of here with that bullshit i want to know i watch kitchen

Merlinnightmares i know about wide five wide five gallon buckets in the walk-in i know what shit goes down in a restaurant i want you to say hmm you know the cordon bleu is actually not my favorite thing uh but you know what's nice is a follow-up question where somebody says like uh do you like spicy stuff or do you like seafood where they ask you a question like they're actually

Alexlistening to you that can be very good you guys are expecting way too much from here i am not

MaxI am not. Don't you think if you go to a restaurant, it's a fair question. What I always want to know is what's the special thing here that if it's my first time, I should definitely try? Most restaurants have something like that. If it's a fancy restaurant, then they're like, oh, well, the chef is known for their X, Y, and Z. And even if it's a diner, they're like, oh, well, everyone comes in and gets the turkey club, right?

AlexThat's the thing. If they don't have an answer, you know that everything's mediocre right away. Like if that's not an obvious answer to them, you're either in for –

MerlinThere are acceptable answers, though. There are acceptable answers of, well, I don't eat meat, so I really like this sandwich or this entree. I think that is good. You got to watch out for the shit that's like, oh, here's two appetizers. These are the appies. Here's what you're going to want to do. You're going to want to get these appetizers. And be careful of a mixed grill. Be careful of a mixed grill. You know what I'm saying, Max? Be careful of the things that are obviously a bunch of shit strewn together on a plate. It's not always bad, but not everything tandoori endures.

You want to know what the best tandoori thing is. You know what I'm saying?

AlexWait, what is a mixed grill?

MerlinYeah, I've never heard of this.

AlexWhat?

MerlinI don't eat normal food. Don't pretend you go to restaurants, guys. A mixed grill, it's another one of those all-in-one platters. It's like when you go to a barbecue place and they give you all the stuff. A mixed grill, like at an Indian place, is you might get some lamb. You're going to get some chicken.

MaxI would just say that would be like a combo plate.

MerlinCombo.

MaxCombo. Yeah.

MerlinBut also, you know, the thing is, like the first time we went to Disneyland, we arrived at, again with the Disney, we arrived at our resort and they said, is this your first time here? And we said, actually, it is. We're very excited. And they gave us pins.

MaxThere you go. See, that's what I want is I'm always worried. You want a treat. Give me a treat. That's what I'm worried is I don't want to say, oh, we've all been here before. It's old hat. And then we don't get the pins. What if there's pins? Like, what if there's a quiz on the other hand? Okay. What if you say, oh, yeah, we fucking, we chow down here all the time. And they're like, well. A related question, just in general, what is the right amount to talk to the waiter? Because I will go out with people sometimes, and they will sort of take it upon themselves to have a little... I mean, I think that they imagine themselves forming a rapport with the waiter, but in actuality, they're kind of doing a little one-man show.

They're playing into the whole sales routine. Yes. Well, in reality, we know that it is men who do this, but they want to tell jokes and get to know the waiter.

AlexIs there any reality in which you guys see me doing this?

MaxNo, no, it's a man thing. Hey. It's a man thing. But I know guys who do this. Oh, Melissa, why don't you sit with us? Oh, or where are you from in Chicago? My skin crawls a little bit because I feel like I've actually never been a waiter. I've never worked front of house at a restaurant. But I imagine you're probably pretty busy. You probably have a lot going on. Even if the restaurant's not busy, you probably have responsibilities. responsibilities and you're probably trying to basically minimize the amount of minutes that you

Merlinspend at the table as a former waiter i can tell you the whole time you're talking to any table you are unconsciously or subconsciously or subconsciously kind of scanning for everybody else like oh that one guy over there you know he's going to want more iced tea and you're like you're thinking about all this stuff that's going to be coming out soon it's a very stressful job

Maxyeah you're you're juggling a lot of different responsibilities and then i feel like it's it is kind of an imposition to pin them down and try and tell them jokes and you know whatever the

AlexYeah, the answer to this is easy. Nope, no, no, no. Just treat them like, no, no.

MaxBut then the guys who do this, they'll always be like, oh, they have a really boring job and I'm just brightening up their day. And, you know, I'm just trying to have a human interaction. I'm just trying to have a human interaction with them and, you know, make a connection with someone. I'm just trying to be a good person. And I'm like, you know, though, if they had an extra five minutes, they would probably want to go sit down somewhere. They wouldn't want to sit, stand at the table and listen to you. They want to go outside and vape. Right.

AlexI don't want to meddle, but I've seen, you know what? Yeah, no, give me a fucking parade. Whenever I see this happening, I usually leave like a bigger tip somehow because like there's, that's the thing though. When this happens, all of the women at the table know it's happening and they're all cringing together. Especially, has a guy ever tried to make a rapport with a waiter who's a dude? It's never happened.

MaxWell, I mean, if you're somebody like me who wants to be loved, yes. I felt for a long time that our podcast should kind of get into the sort of manosphere, you know, pickup artist world. Because, listen, I mean, that's a big business, you know, and I want listeners. And I think that that's where the eyeballs are, right? Oh, you see, you go and you hit them where they ain't. That's a group that we may not have brought into the fold. Right, right. That's what I'm saying. And I'm just saying, like, Alex, are you saying that this is kind of a dating hack of, like, if you're trying to impress a lady on a date,

you're not going to want to kind of chat up the waitress too much because she's going to be like, this guy's making the waitress uncomfortable. Or should he be nagging his date?

AlexNo. No. Do you really know that? No, I don't. Just no. You know what?

MerlinI mean, you've gotten where you are with a very specific set of skills. What I'm saying is there's a thing called hypocognition. The problem with hypocognition is we don't know what we don't know. So please don't speculate about a man with rings and a peacock hat, unless you really understand.

AlexI apologize. Oh, boy.

MerlinI think you need to be clear. You need to know what the fuck you're doing. And you need to help. See, now I'm ready to be told I'm wrong. I think you want to help give cues to the server about the kind of experience that you would prefer. So, for example, we got a little kid. And, you know, first of all, if they bring bread and crackers to the table, ooh, lots of points. That's really good. The other thing is you say, they say, okay, can I get you any drinks? And I like to say, well, I think we're ready to order everything right now. And it can come out whenever it comes out. And you just say, don't worry about us. Like, here's our thing.

Lay it out. Now, if you go into the whole pickup artist thing with the person, I don't think you're setting boundaries. And I think you're encouraging a kind of relationship that doesn't really exist. It's not wholesome. Or maybe it is. Maybe it is. This is hypocognition.

MaxI mean, you're not actually forming a, can you ever going to talk to this person again? Like, it's not a real relationship.

MerlinI should be out there macking on Phyllis. Like, I should be out there. I should be going to the diners and laying down with some ladies. Maybe that can make my family jealous.

AlexI just realized that every time, almost every time I go to a restaurant and it's of my choosing, or rather it's not of my choosing, I start my order with, I know this is weird. I'm sorry. But then talk about how I want like nothing on my plate and all of it not to touch. And I wonder how, like I would literally rather have spit in my food than ketchup. It's just.

Merlinyou'd rather have spit in your food than ketchup yes okay yep nope doesn't matter where it came

Alexfrom any spit will do any what spit would cause me harm that would kill me wow versus the displeasure

Merlini get when i taste ketchup i feel like you have not interacted with enough spit yet i fair fair now i'll tell you what i don't want is i don't want the homemade ketchup i never want the homemade ketchup no one has ever wanted the homemade ketchup fancy ketchup is you know what's the

MaxWorst is when it's texturally wrong. Oh, and it's got lumps. It's grainy. Just give me Heinz. You know what ketchup you need? You need a bottle of Heinz ketchup. Only Heinz ketchup. I don't want Dr. Elmsley's, you know, artisanal ketchup tomato spread. I don't want it. I don't want it. Give me fucking, give me Heinz. Or I also do like the McDonald's brand ketchup. I think it's very good. It's sweet.

MerlinWe do ketchup a little different here.

MaxIt's sweet, the McDonald's ketchup. Oh, speaking of which, you know, the new McDonald's corporate headquarters is opened not far from our office. And at the at that location, Alex, they have like unique McDonald's foods from all over the world. Oh, wow.

AlexIs this the thing that everybody's been posting on Instagram of this fancy McDonald's? Yes. Is that the OK? I. Wow. My Instagram stories have been like, this isn't a real McDonald's. Oh, what's happening? So there's two things. People are losing their minds.

MaxThere's two things that happen. The McDonald's corporate headquarters is open. And they have sort of a cafeteria there where you can get like a shrimp burger from Japan and I don't know, a Guinness from England. And I don't know what all the crazy shit you can get at McDonald's. But and then then there's also they tore down the rock and roll McDonald's. Wait, what? Yeah, they tore down the rock and roll McDonald's. And they built a new flagship McDonald's. So this is the world flagship McDonald's store. And it's it's I know I haven't been in there, but I don't think you can get anything special there.

It's just a good McDonald's.

AlexIt's a really nice McDonald's. I am so excited. Those, are you familiar with the, were they copper statues outside of the rock and roll McDonald's that were of children and Ronald McDonald's?

Speaker AEw.

AlexOh, yeah, exactly. Exactly. Oh, my God. They were so bad. And I passed them. Oh, God.

MaxOh, look at that. It was demolished in January. My God.

AlexI do not go downtown enough.

MaxDid you guys see this story that's been going around? So this is two dudes and they noticed in their local McDonald's that there was a blank wall. So they made a McDonald's branded poster with a product shot of them eating McDonald's. And they hung it up and it's been there for like two months.

Speaker AOh, my God.

MerlinThat's so good. Oh, my God. It looks like something from an 80s McDonald's.

AlexOh, this is so good. I miss pranks. Like I miss harmless, lovely pranks.

MaxI think if this ever went viral on Twitter, people would say that it was like, they would attack them and say that it was problematic.

AlexI just.

MaxYeah. There should be a picture of Alex and I up at a McDonald's.

AlexWe can make, we can make that. Oh, you know, we should. I wonder. I'm sorry. I'm fixated on this copper stone sculpture situation and I can't find them. And it's like my deepest, darkest nightmare has been erased from the world.

Speaker AOnce McDonald's statue, Chicago.

AlexRonald McDonald. Daniel statue Chicago. Oh, is he looking real happy in it? No, that's these are the ones I've seen the creepy bench ones, but I want. Oh, oh, here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

MerlinI'm on a tricycle.

AlexOh, God. Yep. Yep. Yep. Here we are. Oh, my God.

MerlinHe looks like he's tweaking pretty hard.

AlexHe looks like he's about to eat a child and it looks like he's bitten the other children. do you see there's one with a young woman peeking out behind him and oh my god alright thank you

Merlinstatues are bad not as bad as twins but still really bad

Maxalright well speaking of things that are bad did you guys do the challenge this week whose challenge was it your mine technically merlin's merlin's ticket ticket challenge the

Merlinchallenge this week was to uh get or locate your amazon dingus and do a drop in with your co-host

Maxand it was a bad challenge it was such a bad this was a terrible one so i so i ordered two of the echo uh circles and the amazon's alexa circles amazon spot i believe thank you the amazon spot circle with Alexa. Alexa, stop!

Welcome to the family. I got one for me and one for Alex. And then Alex discovered that she had had one in her house all along.

AlexYes. I had two. I had a show and a spot.

MaxAlex discovered that the Alexa was calling from inside the house. So I put one in my kitchen and one in my basement and I don't like it. I'm very aware of them being there and the ability of people to drop in.

MerlinOf the device or the drop-in capability? Of the drop-in capability. Like, oh, God, the dropping capability is bad.

MaxIt made me feel like I mean, even though you weren't in it's the Panopticon, right? It was like, even though you were not dropping in on me, I mean, I think Merlin and I chatted once. I was sort of aware since I put it in the basement that you could drop in at any moment. And I was like, is Merlin going to see me look at something weird on my computer?

MerlinThere's so many layers of there's so many layers of bad and wrong. I mean, we can talk about the shittiness of like the access to your contacts and stuff like that. But all the way down to, like, God forbid you're a privileged person with more than one of these, you do different permissions on all of them. The do not disturb is different on all of them. The who's allowed to drop in is different on all of them. But at the heart of it, like, I can't imagine contacting somebody on this without texting them first.

AlexMerlin, you guys are pulling an Alex. What is the Echo drop-in feature? We have not exactly explained what that is.

MerlinDo you want to take this, Max? It's your challenge. It's your show. So in the last year or so, the Lady of the Tube family has introduced a new thing called drop-in. And the idea is that if you have, you know, somebody like a family member, like, you know, grandma wants to check in on the kids, you want to check in on grandma, all you have to do is hail the device and say drop-in on name of person. And then, of course, invariably it says, did you mean this person? and then it and so basically what happens is if it is enabled on their device um it will start

ringing on your end you'll see that it's ringing and what will happen is you'll get this i don't know how to describe it but it's almost like the kinds of clear tile that you would put around a shower so that it's kind of like distorting what you see inside you see this distorted it's really creepy you start out with this all white like you've gone to heaven this it's white and then it dissolves. Alexa, drop in on Max.

Speaker BDid you mean Max Tamkin? Yes. Yes.

MaxYes. Is it going?

AlexLet me see it. We did this earlier.

MaxIs it going to go in my basement or my kitchen?

AlexYes, it is. And it just goes. And I did this earlier. It's your basement. It's the lights. It's the spider lights.

MaxYou see the lights and then all those neatly. So it is looking up. It's kind of angled up. So it can't see my computer screen down there. Oh, that's upsetting. That could be a dong. You never gave me and Merlin drop-in permission.

AlexNo, I didn't. Alexa, drop in on Merlin Man.

MerlinOh, hang on. I gotta get my iPad. Hang on.

AlexAlexa, stop. Okay, but here's what I like. Alexa, play me my messages.

Speaker BNo new messages. Should I play the earlier ones?

Speaker AYes. One for Alexandra Cox from Max Temkin.

MaxGive me permission to drop in.

Speaker Breceived about an eye.

AlexIt's just so ominous and upsetting. So I dropped in on Max earlier. You did? Yeah. Was I there? No. So I was like, oh, oh no. And I was like, Max? Max? And then I hung up. It didn't tell me that you dropped in at all. Exactly. There was no indication. It's so weird. I think you'd already left and come to the office.

MaxAlexa, drop in on Max's kitchen.

Speaker BDid you mean Max Tampkin?

MaxYes.

Speaker BOh, God. Oh, no.

MaxI want to see the kitchen. Veronica's baking. Oh, no.

AlexOh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

MaxIt's okay.

AlexWell, you look at it first. I don't want to listen to it. I don't. Oh, God.

MaxNo, but it's the basement again.

AlexOh, I'm sorry. Alexa, stop.

MaxAlexa, stop. Title. Alexa, stop. Alexa, drop in on Max Temkin's kitchen. I'm pronouncing it more. Yes.

Speaker AYes. Did you mean next? Did you mean next?

MaxShower glass? Shower glass? No, it's the basement again. Alexa, stop. Alexa, stop.

Speaker AStop. This is so bad. Stop. How many people over the next five years will that be their last living words?

MaxAlexa, stop! Alexa, stop! Can you stop? If someone's dropping in on you and you're in the room and you're cranking your hog, right? And then Alexa goes boop, boop, boop. And Merlin's tuning in. Can I say anything to Alexa to be like, abort, abort?

AlexI think it's...

MerlinExcept call from your judgy aunt. About drop in on Alexa.

AlexI will say that, so when I told Mashie what the challenge was. Who's Mashie? Maddie. Maddie. Mashie. Mashie. Mashie. Mashie. Mashie. Mashie. Good Lord. And they were like, oh, yeah, good. We have one of those. And I'm like, what? What? And apparently they always use it at the show in the kitchen. and the spot was in my bedside dresser drawer table. I don't know whatever that piece of furniture is. And I was like, oh, this is not as ugly as I thought it would be.

So the past few nights, I've just been, I didn't know that you could watch Amazon Prime on it. So I, as people may know. But why would you watch Amazon Prime on a tiny circle? Because I like to fall asleep to the Golden Girls and Amazon Prime has the Golden Girls.

MaxBut do you listen with headphones? No, no, no.

AlexBut isn't Matchy awake? Well, that's the thing, though. It can get real quiet, and then it's right by my ear, so Matchy doesn't hear it. But what's really nice, so I've complained before about how the hail word has, it thinks that it is my name, Alex. Yes. Not the Alex, uh. And it would always misfire, and I had to say computer. But the new, maybe it's because I had the original Echo, but the new, it understands me more.

Like my stammers and stutters, it kind of comparses what I say. It's real good at understanding. Yeah. Not as good as Siri, though. I still think my home, okay. I did the Merlin Man thing and I, I'm like foaming at the mouth. Good Lord. I did the Merlin Man thing and did all of my tasks. It sounds like you're foaming at the mouth. Yeah. um and even it now it was confused it thinks that my hue light setups like all the scenes are

Merlinduplicated and it was just kind of a pain like oh yeah it's it's stuff does not scale up very well at all so if you and your contact are using devices with screens your contact sees a frosted glass video that transitions to clear video shortly after connecting you can this is important everybody listen to this you can turn off the video at any point during the drop-in you can say video off or you can touch the screen and select video off button but you're sprinting

Speaker Aacross the room with your pants around your ankles oh no it's uh it's a very interesting

MerlinInteresting, terrible idea. It's a very, very bad idea. I am trying to imagine a situation. You know what? Like those 37 Signals guys used to talk about how they would just like be on Skype all day from all their various locations. If somebody's on the clock and working from home and is expected to be at their desk, I guess I could see that. That's gross.

MaxI mean, I don't know.

MerlinI'm sorry. It was a bad challenge.

MaxWell, I thought it was interesting. I mean, I'm contemplating. So the advertised, the sort of on-label use for drop-in is that you could give one to your parents or something, and then you could teleconference. And now I have two, and I was thinking maybe I'll put one in my kitchen, and I'll bring one to my parents, and then we can drop in on each other. That could be fun. It's less creepy. It's not upsetting to me if it's in the kitchen because the kitchen is public.

What's going to be happening in the kitchen?

MerlinI don't know. I don't want to. Watch a cacao.

Speaker ACacao, watch a cacao. Hi, Matchy.

MerlinI'm going to be the old guy for a minute and just say, like, this walks up to the line for me of what bugs people about this stuff. I'm not saying this is terrible. And if you mutually decide to have this on, that's fine. It would be so easy to abuse this. It would be very, very easy to abuse this. And that kind of bugs me. And I say it walks up to the line because I have not seen anything yet that shows me this stuff is deeply nefarious by design. But this is right on the line of like, you know, I mean, not to make it dark, but you talk about the kind of stuff where there's this whole emerging issue of abuse, especially domestic abuse or stalking.

where you can, I mean, the extreme end maybe might be getting somebody's Android phone and installing malware on it. But there's lots of gradations in between where it would not be that hard to flip on Find My Friends and say, always tell me when this person leaves this location. That would not be that hard to do. That's pretty gross. And it's just something about this where, like, I mean, I like the Echo ecosystem. I use it. It's my primary voice interaction. But what do you do with it?

MaxWhat do you mean? What kind of stuff do you, so now I have this thing in my basement. and I've been trying to think of stuff to do with it. What should I do with it? Okay, well, just give me, give me, I mean, do you actually want to know

Merlinor is this going to be one of your bits?

Speaker AYes.

MerlinYes. Do you want a treat?

Speaker AYes.

AlexI want to know what has, what you do with it that has changed in like the past year.

MerlinOh, hang on. My daughter's bugging me.

AlexOh, tell her I'm sorry if I did this.

MerlinNo, she wants to know where iPod Touch is. I don't know, sweetie.

MaxCan't you, can't you drop in on her? Oh, God. drop in on her and then have her angle the camera around and you can find iPad touch yeah and then we'll put it right on the discord it'll be great yeah but no I mean

Speaker Ait's

Merlinwait a minute

Maxwhat about that though what if we crowdsource it like the Boston Bomber so you have your daughter take pictures of your house oh my god we'll put them on the discord and then everyone will sort of they'll sort of analyze the photos and they'll find iPod touch alright back to they can zoom in on my cars against humanity deck

Alexyep very funny Podcast or Zoom?

MerlinSo the issues, but the other thing you asked was, well, there's lots of stuff you can do with it. I do, I, oh, so let me finish the one thought. The one thought was, yes, I do like this system. It's the best of these at this point in my mind. Although Google Home is awfully good too. But there's a lot of thought I'd do with it, but I'm pretty familiar with this. And even I have to remember stuff. I'm not saying I'm a pro, but I do use this. I deploy this in my life. I know how to use this stuff. and i still find it confusing there's some things you can only do or create in the alexa app in the

alexa app on mobile there's some stuff you can't do on desktop for example and like you wouldn't and how do you how would you know like if you guys wanted to turn this off do you know where to go in the app to do that oh that app is a fucking nightmare it's a web view it's a crappy web view if you but just so y'all know so you go to settings you go to devices sub area you click on a given device and then for the given device, can I even change this from here? I think I have to do this on mobile.

You can change. I think you have to do it on mobile. But then you go in and say like, who can contact? Nobody? Like everybody? Just family members? You know, all that kind of stuff. And it is very confusing. What I'm trying to say without sounding like a nut is that the potential for abuse here does walk up to the line for me. And whether it's, you know, I'm not even saying like, oh, hackers are going to go turn it on. But like, it would be really easy to get creepy real fast with this and nobody would even know it was happening.

AlexI mean, I would like to share my list of the Alex devices. Alexandra's Second Echo, Alexandra's Echo, Alexandra's Echo Dot, Alexandra's Echo Show, Alexandra's Echo Spot.

MerlinThey should become friends with Merlin's third and fourth Kindle.

AlexI don't know where these are. when I have one Echo. I think at one point I owned it. Oh, okay. It says offline. But my second Echo, what the heck is that? Both of my Echoes are supposedly online.

MerlinYeah, there may be a way to do that. Like with a tile, there might be a way to make it blink or something like that. But I don't think it's trivially easy. This is so weird. Oh, well. There's a lot about this system. It's one thing to, mostly to the benefit of the Echo ecosystem, I think really unquestionably, One of the great things about it is how open the APIs are, whether it's for things like making skills or whether it's the blueprints or any of that stuff. It's great that it is so open and so widely deployed, but it's also really weird.

They're getting up to this Apple point, though, of like you can only do some stuff on some stuff. So I think I told you I got a Sonos One, which is the Echo-enabled smart speaker from Sonos. And there's just a ton of stuff that it can't do. It works mostly like an Echo for doing music stuff, mostly. It can't be part of multi-room setups. There's all kinds of smart home things that it's unable to do. It's still a very confusing landscape. It's just that I'm babbling. I think the benefits of what the ecosystem does for me, it's very hot, the ecosystem.

It does lots of great stuff, but there's a lot of peculiarity and dark matter inside of this.

MaxWell, what are some specifics? So now, like I said, I used to have the first-generation Alexa cylinder, right? The big, tall cylinder that looked like garbage. And it was in our kitchen for a while. So what did I use it for? I set timers with it. Great for that. And I order. It is really good for timers.

MerlinAnd actually, we have a show in our kitchen that's great for that because you can see the multiple timers. You can say, Dingus, show me my timers. And it shows you all. Okay. All right. That's pretty sweet. So when I'm doing 21-minute chicken, I execute three commands and I'm good to go.

MaxOkay. Okay. So you've got your timers. That's pretty handy. Yeah. Ordering things on Amazon is legitimately pretty cool from your voice. And you may not know there's several ways to do that. I don't know. Please tell me.

MerlinWell, everybody has two lists that are accessible via IFTTT. This is really cool. So you have something called a to-do list. You have something called a shopping list. And you can say, hey, dingus, add buy a cat to my to-do list. Now, through the magic of ITT, you can have that push into Reminders. You can have Reminders push that into your productivity app if you want it to roll that way. You can do that. That's really cool. What's neat about the shopping list is if you say, hey, Dingus, last night I said, hey, Dingus, add one gallon white vinegar to my shopping list.

Now, when I open up the Whole Foods area in Prime Now, it says, did you want to get white vinegar? Click here to pick which white vinegar you want.

MaxThat's what I want. So you can also say— Alexa, order cards against humanity.

Speaker BOne moment. Here's what I found. Amazon's choice is cards against humanity. Green box.

MaxWhat?

Speaker BIt doesn't even... It's not the main game.

MerlinWell, it's going to go by what's sponsored or what's, you know.

MaxYes, Alexa, yes.

One moment.

Speaker BHere's what I found. amazon's choice is cards against humanity green box alexa purchase

Speaker Adid you mean next step

Merlinwell apparently i do have that thank you for your thank you for your business i don't think i don't think that's that terrible once you get used to it it does get better here's here's a great one

Alexyou're welcome this is the first time i've ever ordered something but here's another one is you

MerlinIt's a reorder paper towel.

AlexOkay, Alexa. Okay, okay. Okay. God, mute. Mute, mute. Great. Okay. I just sent you a welcome notification. Oh, my God. Alexa, stop.

MerlinWell, it's because it's the first time. Alexa, stop.

MaxAlexa, stop.

MerlinYou guys are so put upon.

AlexStop. Okay. She's done. She's done. She's done.

MerlinSo, okay. Hang on. I'm going to go. Hang on. I'm going to turn off my headphones for a minute. I'm going to go plug in my Echo. I'll be right back. Okay. I have to pee.

AlexHold on. Wait.

MaxWe're doing this? We're doing this. Oh, my God. Fucking amateur hour in here.

Oh, let's see what new menu items are at McDonald's. I like to keep up on the trends. So let's see. If you go to our menu.

Oh, here we go. Here we go. The all-new Sweet and Spicy Honey Barbecue Glazed Tenders. I do want that. Discover the glaze. Oh, shit. Shit, dog. Discover the glaze. You can do a four-piece, a six-piece, or a ten-piece. It's hand-tossed and glazed to order. Our new Sweet and Spicy Honey Barbecue Glazed Tenders bring bold flavor with the perfect combination of sweet and spicy. Oh, my God. I absolutely want this. Is this on your Prime now? No, no. I just went on McDonald's. I'm looking at their new menu items.

MerlinNice.

MaxMcDonald's has a tab on their website called Trending Now, and you can just click and see. It's just to see what's trending now. Let's see what's trending now. Trending Now. Get in the loop with the latest on promotions, events, new products, specials, and more. One $2, $3 menu with lots of $1, $2, $3 menu. $1, $2, $3 menu. The new sweet and spicy honey barbecue glaze tenders. The call to action button there says discover the glaze. Discover the glaze. And then you've got mix and match deal, and you can kind of build your own Trump meal there.

Right.

Merlin100% fresh beef.

MaxYou know what I do like, which I haven't had in a long time at McDonald's, is the crispy chicken sandwich. That's a good sandwich. Don't they do a good job? They do. It's not as good as Chick-fil-A, but also they're not homophobic. Six of one, half dozen of the other. Alex, am I allowed to eat the Chick-fil-A?

AlexYeah. Who cares?

MaxI do.

AlexGo right ahead. It's gonna Like it's Like Why Because it's Isn't it Isn't it bad Yeah What isn't bad What's like a good Oh wow Wow wow wow

MaxThis is the future liberals one Probably the new comedy special By uh Hannah Gadsby Nanette Oh da dee da dee Da da da da Well you said to say Something that's not bad And I said something That I thought was Was very good And not bad You know what

MerlinI still consider you A woke twitter ally

MaxI'm saying Yes You said what's something That's not problematic and I'm saying the new Hannah Gadsby comedy special, Nanette.

AlexIs this the after show? No, it's the show.

MaxNo, we're still doing demos. So I'm saying, so the two features that I know how to use on my Alexa are ordering things on Amazon and doing timers. What are some other things that the Alexa can do that can make my life better?

MerlinDo you have a phone nearby? Actually, I'll just tell you about it. You can go look it up. You only create these on mobile, but it works everywhere. routines. So my favorite routine that I use every single morning is I say, hey, dingus, light it up. First thing it does. You don't say that. Do you really say that?

AlexYes. Light it up. That's awesome. Like you're like a DJ. Yeah, I'm in. I say Siri, calm down at night when I want to like put the reading lights on. It's like a mnemonic. You just pick

Merlinthe one you're going to remember. Exactly. So when I when I say, hey, dingus, light it up. The very first thing it does, which is subtle, is it changes the volume for my Amazon Spot to volume three. The second thing it does is turn on all the hue lights in the room to a bright blue wake-up color. Third thing it does is turn on my Seasonally Effective Disorder light. And the fourth thing it does is it starts streaming KQED. Okay. So you can basically make a stack of tasks that it will deploy in order. So no matter how loud the Echo was yesterday, it's now a reasonable morning volume.

MaxI should get one of those like Egg McMuffin toasters that we sent to John Syracusa. And then I should wake up and I should just be like, hey, dingus, let's get it going. And it'll start playing techno music and I'll dance downstairs and eat my Egg McMuffin.

Speaker ADeploy my nom-noms.

MaxIt's making an espresso. There's like the espresso steamers spraying all over the kitchen. The cats running around. It's spraying cats.

Speaker ADun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Tss, tss, tss. Home again, home again, jiggity-jig.

MerlinI have been, I've had reason to do lots with If-ta-ta-ta than lately. I'm deploying some new things and I've had a lot of time and If-ta-ta-ta. And we joke about the whole hue thing.

Speaker AI can't believe how many If This Then That recipes are like, if there's a 20 chance of rain flash my lights blue where do you live where do you live that you want like when my mail is delivered make everything purple it's like what that is such a weird use of

Merlinthat like nobody is living with that if you live with that you are alone and single and weird okay

Alexokay no no no no no i know i have it flash flash twice if there is a severe thunderstorm warning because then I know we need to go and it automatically...

MerlinWhy wouldn't you just have a push notification for Mif This and That?

AlexBecause I think it's funny. Because while I'm not single, I am sad.

Speaker AThat's probably our show. Yeah, well, you know, I mean, okay, so...

MaxNo one can ever tell me what I should be doing with this thing.

Speaker AOh my God, people tell you all that. I have so many more I can tell you,

Alexbut you don't want to know there's so much you can do i think here here is my one year prediction merlin you're going to be all switched over by 2019 to home kit or like home pod stuff because siri shortcuts is going to be so crazy that like all the blinky light stuff is actually home kit

Merlindoesn't i am struggling i've bought four motion detectors in the last 10 days that have varying levels of support for different things and believe me there's still a lot of room to improve. What's the best one?

Speaker AThere's not. There's not a best one.

MaxI want a motion detector that goes outside my office door and when I walk by it it turns all the lights on.

MerlinProbably a... You don't have

MaxHue lights though, right? I have smart lights that I can control with if-ta-ta-ta. The Hue

Merlinmotion detector is fine and

Maxit works great. But I don't have the Hue hub. I don't have a Hue hub. Do you have the lutron crap i have the lutron hub okay i have lutron crap yeah um these so there's the there's

Merlinan there's um they're also the problem is there's not one there's okay here's the biggest problem is that there are not many motion detectors there are not many motion detectors that work both

Speaker Awith home kit and if this than that and they all require a hub i don't have a zigbee network I am kind of all HomeKit-ed out.

MerlinYeah, well, the thing is, motion detectors, actually, there's not that much stuff that it can bubble up in HomeKit because it's mainly interacting with other stuff. The only thing is, though, with this and that, you can do stuff like, say, add a line to a spreadsheet or send me a push notification or do this kind of thing. But it depends on what you're trying to do. If you want real HomeKit ones, I got a new one coming today from D-Link that's supposed to be pretty good.

But it's like my sleep apps. They just, none of them agree with each other. There's no consistency in how any of these things work. And it's mad. Okay, now listen, let's help our listeners. Who is drop-in good for? Who should be experimenting with drop-in?

MaxI think it could be fun for grandma and grandpa. I agree. But I think you need to be very careful to put it in a-

MerlinBut what if they're jacking the mean bone while they're watching Sally Jesse Raphael?

MaxOkay, but that's what I'm going to say is I think you need to put this thing in an area of your house where it's not, like, Like I just happen to have an area of my house where I don't care if – like there's basically windows everywhere and you can see in from the street. It's just like our kitchen is very exposed. So like I'm never like not wearing pants in the kitchen, right? Like it's – Got it. It's a public – semi-public place. And I'm at peace with that. But then it's a fine – I don't really care if I put the hangout thing there or whatever, the drop-in thing there, as long as I control who can drop in.

I don't really care if you or Alex want to drop in on my kitchen.

AlexNo.

Speaker ANo.

AlexNo. No. The thing that bothers me is that a lot of people are saying, oh, this is so great for like seniors as a safety device. I'm like, do you really want to entrust the safety of like an elderly person you care about in Amazon and the drop in feature? It seems like a nice gimmick around Christmas time. And then it goes back in grandma's drawer and it's done.

Speaker AYeah, you can have your lights blink blue. Meemaw's online. Hello. hello people

Show notes

Transcript

95. Alexa, STOP!

Show notes

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