Bonus: Confusing Balls of Meat - After Show
2021Show notes
🔓 Unlocked! This week's after show was really good, so we wanted to make sure you filthy animals could get it for freebies. Just be sure to listen to the main episode first.
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Edited by Quinn Rose
Engineered by Cameron Bopp
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Transcript
Tap a timestamp or any sentence to play from there · machine transcribed (mlx:mlx-community/whisper-large-v3-turbo), expect mistakesAlexAfter show.
MerlinAfter show. I've clicked all the things.
AlexYou're clicking a lot, really.
MerlinYeah, I'm clicking. Oh no.
AlexFuck.
MerlinOh man, these fires are bad.
AlexOh no. Oh, no. What's happening?
MerlinOh, it's really bad out here. Some family members had to evacuate. It hasn't reached them, but, you know, as a precaution, this is crazy.
AlexAnyways. Jesus.
MerlinI've also written down many tech-related things. Many tech-related things.
AlexOh. Yeah, say some things because I – oh, my God. This – oh.
MerlinHere, I'll send you the link to this.
AlexOh, my God.
MerlinThis is fine. sfchronicle.com you can read about burritos and fires and PG&E oh yeah so want to talk a little bit of tech?
Alexyeah yeah
Merlintalking tech on the show it's the after show thank you for purchasing or stealing this it's nice to have you here we're back
Alexyeah everybody who has reached out to be like yeah
MerlinReached out about what?
AlexWho have liked the show and who have upped their pledges. Oh. That's very nice. Thank you.
MerlinOh, because you made them feel bad because of your rack.
AlexYeah. Yeah.
MerlinThe boys are called.
AlexIt's a rackette.
MerlinA rackette.
AlexRackette. I like that. I can't. Oh. What are all the tech things? Because, I mean, Matthew's really on a Merlin tech tear right now. So he's not like that.
MerlinOh, in what sense?
Alexum i just what that what that means very he's very unorganized and always has been in terms of like really important things like used to be a password one two three guy and that digital things and physical things are just the digital world oh but mostly the digital world and like Oh, man.
MerlinAdding a challenge to line 647 called Get Matchy Organized.
AlexOoh.
MerlinI mean, it's in the sheet if it's ever a thing. I'm happy to help and consult for free anytime that I can be of use. I'm really good at knowing where things should go.
AlexThe, I mean, everything, the only thing I've gotten him to use and use well is 1Password. And I'm like, okay, thank you. Thank you so much. Well, but I mean, now it's an Electron app, so hate crime.
MerlinWhat is, when Matt needs to write things down for tasks or notes or whatever, can I ask what he's using?
AlexWell.
MerlinIf you can say, boy, we shouldn't be talking about your spouse out of school like this. It's not right.
AlexOh, I am allowed to. I have carte blanche to say whatever. That's nice.
MerlinCarte blanche is nice.
AlexYes. There are various posted notes everywhere. And there's a list on the... You might think there's a list on the fridge, like one of those little notepads that is magnetic for things when you're in the kitchen, things you might need to get...
MerlinIs it tear off or a dry erase?
AlexIt's tear off. Yeah, like a Martha Stewart. Gotta love it. Yeah, but then sometimes also things go on a whiteboard that he has. And sometimes it just goes into the shopping list in reminders. And so when he's like, oh, you forgot to get this. I'm like, no, it wasn't in the shopping app.
MerlinYou forgot to tell me to get this.
AlexOh, but no. I forget why we're watching. I truly don't know. It was a rat hole. Oh, wow. Oh, God. That's really. Oh, that's what's happening. That takes me back. Rat hole. Rat hole. Oh, rat hole. Rat hole. And he was just like, oh, this makes sense. Yeah. That makes sense.
MerlinWell, I mean, my one thing I was trying, I tried just a little bit. But given the improvements in the betas, adding improvements to things like these everyday Apple apps, I had this plan to try and just use that.
AlexWait, like stock Apple? Like mail.apps?
MerlinYeah, like stocks.
AlexOh, okay.
MerlinNo, like you and me having a shared reminders list to see how a shared reminders list works and to see the assigning of things. Like that was a, like we have our little list of things like, you know, try out share play when it's available. But also my idea was I, so I made a reminders. What do you call it? You know, you got lists, but then you can also have like a group. I don't know what you call it, like a collection of reminders. And so I was trying that shared with the family. Of course, I'm the only one that ever entered anything.
But I think that's, that's kind of powerful. Notes has gotten pretty powerful. those both benefit from being things you could talk to the siri i'm sorry i have a window cracked um those benefit from being things where you can use the siri ball for certain things should i close that window is that too loud it's gonna drive coin nuts no no no no hmm um it drives you nuts yes that's just gonna hopefully that won't be a continuing thing um i certainly hope not for stranger's sake yeah listeners you would have heard it anyway probably but um uh so a couple
things. One is, I think it's beneficial to, well, let's cut to the chase. What Matt and everybody needs in life as an inbox or inboxes. But then once you've got an inbox or inboxes, the thing you really need, the inbox is just a start, right? Because now you know where something goes. And I think that's a powerful idea. The thing that takes a lot more effort or care is to make sure
you have a process of dealing with inboxes. So I have a million ideas for inboxes, but what's difficult for me to generate is the interest in tending to those inboxes. Do you know what I mean? So for example, there's a thought technology, a physical technology. You know, you can buy, I think this is so cool, and I'm sure my wife loves this. But you can buy sheets that are like a roll of, essentially, imagine contact paper,
except the contact paper is dry erase. So I've cut out, there's places where, you know my thing about, what's the line with Syracuse? One hand and in the dark. I should be able to do everything with one hand and in the dark. Yes, that's so good.
AlexIt's powerful.
MerlinThat's powerful thought technology. But that is related to my thing. I've got to write all this down. This is all very important. This could easily be an e-book.
AlexIt's really good.
MerlinBut there should be a trash can wherever my right hand consistently wants to open and drop a piece of trash, right? And so I've done that. Like especially in my environment here in my fetid little private office, I can do that. The other thing is, though, isn't it weird how there are certain – maybe it's not weird. But there are certain locations where you tend to remember there are things you want to do. I think a good example of this is sometimes when I'm doing dishes, I'm on label for doing dishes, but I'm off label for noticing lots of things in the kitchen.
So a really simple example is when I'm doing dishes, that may be when I remember that we need to get more seventh generation dish soap. Right? That's a really obvious one. But then there are other ones. Now, in that instance, sometimes I'll just yell to the lady in the tube, reorder dish liquid, which I forget I can do so easily on the Amazon device. So I just yell, you know, hey, dingus, reorder dish liquid. And then you say, OK, number one or whatever, or click number one. And that's really easy.
But the other one is like when I'm doing dishes, that's also so sometimes other things about the rest of my life will occur to me. Much like urinating and showering makes me suddenly realize things that I want to or need to do. So I used to have a dry erase in the shower.
AlexOh, got to go with Aquanotes.
MerlinEverything. Oh, I like Aquanotes. Everything. But like, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, not dry erase. I apologize. I meant Aquanotes. But the downside is like, of course, because, you know, sales to John Syracuse, nothing remains, nothing gold can stay. Like anything, my shaving mirror becomes a mirror that people just play with in the bathtub or whatever. So like, and also the aqua notes, who knows what's going to happen with that. In the absence of a system for processing things like a piece of paper, again, that always has to be kept in mind. But I cut me off a piece of this Kit Kat bar.
I cut me off a piece of this contact paper and I stuck that on the inside of a cabinet. So we've already got a little, I already, I already experimented with putting some of this sticker stuff on the fridge. and now I've put some in other places where I tend to remember I want to write something down. The purest way is to yell into the air, but there's risks to that. It actually can be strangely frustrating if it got it wrong. At least a couple times a week, I get totally mystery meat reminders where it came up with a very funny thing that's not what I thought I
meant to say. But having a place that's an inbox to put stuff like buy dish detergent or or reorder ramekins, or I don't know why it's always about buying things. It could also just be like, before this next cycle of what I'm doing right now, I want to do the dishes, take out the trash, all those things. Because yes, it feels good to cross those things off. I don't need to put that anywhere, because that's all part of this sort of session. And there are just times in life, in the week, and especially in a given day, where I know it's a notebook day.
I know it's going to be a write things down in the reporter's notebook day. And I just have an intuitive sense of that. And then I gather all those things and put them somewhere. So anyway, I'm tossing out just two big patterns that are very related, which is Matchy needs an inbox. And I would recommend that Matchy consider a very lightweight process for knowing which inboxes exist so that they can be collected and evaluated on a regular basis.
AlexThat's what we've talked about is just the too many inboxes.
MerlinCan we get Matchy to read Getting Things Done? do you think?
AlexWell, no, but I found some MP3s of someone who interviewed David Allen. You could also find, if you had
Merlinthe right friend, the 6 CD widely discontinued getting things done fast that the David Co. company despises. That's very, very good.
AlexOh, I would really, really like to hear that.
MerlinIf that fell off a truck, would that be interesting?
AlexVery, very, very much so.
MerlinHe's very caffeinated in it. There's a lot of the interstitial music is some really deeply shitty jazz sax. No offense to Strong Songs. But we, I could.
AlexOh, that producer. Did you listen to the producer? No, I haven't heard it. I heard him mention it.
MerlinI was listening to the scenes from an Italian restaurant episode on the way to our unexpected sleepover in Detroit. And my kid and I were listening to that. But then he mentioned that, Like where Billy Joel mentioned that he didn't end up working with George Martin. And you're like, Oh my God, I got to listen to that. Is that a private? Is that a Patreon?
AlexNo, I don't think it's on main.
MerlinOkay.
AlexYeah.
MerlinUm, I will, I'm going to put that on my list. I'm going to write it down right now. I'm a test paper, getting things done fast. If y'all can get it, you know, if y'all want it. So basically I'm not gonna be cagey about this. This is actually kind of a funny story. That's kind of indicative of the David Coe company behind the scenes. I'll just say, which is that somebody in David's organization, I think argued, might've been even before the book was out. I'm not sure.
AlexOh, wow. Shit.
MerlinWell,
Alexit was a real long time. It was the uncut shit. Well,
Merlinbecause the book spins out of, and the book is an interesting story on its own because basically he had a finished book that he threw out and started over because it wasn't what he wanted. He's such an interesting guy, but, but long story short, whenever it came out, there was an ill-advised or under, perhaps under evaluated partnership with a company that, you know, makes and sells like educational CDs. And I don't know the details of this. All that I know is, oh, sorry, what I was
going to say was that the Getting Things Done book spins out of a, I believe, two-day seminar, the original Getting Things Done seminar. So Goldman Sachs or whoever has David come in and does his Getting Things Done presentation, which I think is, you know, in the same way that the listening to the book can be a little bit off-putting because it's so jargony, hearing him in the room with people, being himself, is really, really good. So long story short, the two-day seminar has been recorded
in, I guess, the early 2000s. It's put out on a six-CD set called Getting Things Done Fast. And I don't know the details of what they didn't like about it or why. I don't know if it was money. I don't know if it was content. I don't know if it was saxophones. But they put the kibosh on it hard. And they essentially tried to disappear it from the world. Which, I mean, if it were me and I felt like a thing that was being put out in my name was not what I wanted, I'd do the same thing. But with that said, if one had access to it, it's really good.
And all y'all out there who don't have a truck, try your public library. Try WorldCat.org because you can frequently find it via WorldCat or your local. So WorldCat is like every public library in America that's online, has an online presence, gets sort of aggregated into this amazing site called WorldCat. Where you can go and create an account and tell it what your local is. And it'll show you stuff that's available like right now in your inner library, in your own system. but also stuff you might be able to get from interlibrary loan.
And it's so disco. This is how I just got six or five different DVD sets of SCTV that I couldn't buy anywhere else. Just had it delivered to my library.
AlexYeah. God, libraries are just so cool.
MerlinLibraries are amazing, but I will work on that for you.
AlexI wish I could give them money.
MerlinYeah, they're really good. Getting things done fast. That would be a fun challenge.
AlexI have a – this could be a very Epstein-esque theory. But I have found that people who...
MerlinThat's a very interesting dependent clause. This could be a very Epstein-esque theory. Karma.
AlexFor example, when you were interviewing Mr. David Allen Co., it's just more interesting and off the cuff, but also less business-y. And to the point where I wouldn't say it's anti-business-y. but to the point where if you were the boss, I don't know.
MerlinThe whole point of the whole 43 folders angle of me, like if I'm being honest, coming up, I mean, it wasn't just getting things done, but getting things done was far and away the biggest influence on why I had that site. And if anybody remembers from 17 years ago,
Alexis that possible? Oh God.
Merlin17 years ago was that, and the thing that Cory Doctorow was kind enough to note and publicized was that like, hey, getting things done is really cool, but it sort of is like for businessmen, literally men, on planes. Like what do you do if you're a geek and like you have Wi-Fi and all that? And like how do you develop an according to Hoyle implementation of getting things done that includes all the parts David Allen finds valuable and is reverential to his system, which he feels very strongly about. Like you can't do just pieces and parts of this. If you're not doing that, you're not doing GTD.
And so my thing was like it was my journey of saying like here's the stuff I'm learning that works for me in adapting GTD outside of a guy's on plane thing. Like so at Wi-Fi is not, or at internet is, even in 2004, was already not a very valuable context. And you didn't get the benefits that context provide because it didn't represent either a unique opportunity nor a unique limitation. That to me, my reading of getting things done at context
should or must be a unique opportunity or a unique limitation. You can only talk to this person when they're there. You can only mow your grass when you're at your house, that kind of stuff. And you find yourself doing stuff like, if you have too many stuff under at everywhere or at anywhere, anyway. But that was how that all started. And what I liked about that interview, in addition that he was so generous with his time to do that, he basically put me up at a place to stay there. It was so nice. and I got to hang out with him and his wife and his dog,
my wife and I, and it was really nice. Yeah, he's a really, really cool guy. Very interesting guy. But what I did like about those interviews, even when it felt like I was kind of like almost harassing him a little bit, was like, yeah, you said this in the book and I did read it. I think his genuine huge frustration is there are people reading, seeing somebody talk about Inbox Zero and then imagining that they understand not just what that means, but the inspiration from GTD And it's like, I think it's really frustrating to him when people haven't actually tried to do the book with paper.
You know what I mean?
AlexThat's very interesting. I think I've heard that from before and not just from you. Yeah, that's really interesting.
MerlinThat's very common. He gets pretty, like when he had his second version of the book that came out and he was promoting it, I mean, you could feel he's like really kind of bristling about some of this. I think, again, somewhat understandably. My point being that in our discussions, even as I probably annoyed him a little bit, and he was a gentleman about it, I was able to say stuff like, you know, you have stipulated that procrastination, it should not be a problem if you're following the system. And yet, how do I know what kind of things to do to get myself out of that?
And as somebody who, I guess, doesn't see him, somebody using that system is not so different from somebody who just doesn't procrastinate, I guess. But, you know, and you do. You really learn. You learn, find your leaks in the system. Find out, and it's something I preach to this day. Like, if you're having trouble deciding what to do about this, ask yourself if you're actually going to do it at all. Like, why punish yourself with a well-taxonomized list of tasks that have no impact on your life? Why is your calendar full of stuff that you may or may not do that's compost in the CRISPR?
But it was also cool to get to be able to say, like, well, like, from this angle of somebody who's not a Goldman Sachs person or a seat one a-hole, Like how, you know, what are the what are the changes that you would adapt to this? I thought he was really cool about it.
AlexI often think of there are just a lot of talks out there that I think are very valuable and they haven't aged well for the people who paid for them, who paid whatever guru to come talk to them. Because basically, and not just you, but basically it's like you're all working bad. You won't get an argument from me.
MerlinAnd it's actually strangely related to that thing I said at the top about is this your event? Is this your party? Well, a flavor of that that I became all too familiar with is the normal. If there was anything close to a normal process for me being brought in to visit with people and do, quote, unquote, a talk, It was like maybe somebody, usually IT person or somebody liked 43 folders or Mac break and said, hey, I think my team could use this. But in the same way that I shouldn't go to strip clubs if I don't like strip clubs, it's like doing a strap on strident message about office culture that everybody in the room knows would be completely impractical.
or career ending to implement, well, that's bad for everybody. Like, why don't my people get good at email? It's like, well, ask yourself if the way that you do email is leading to a culture that's going to be good for those people. And if, you know, and like I like to say, and it's in my wisdom document, if you want to change the culture, the culture of a team or an office, in my opinion, is largely based on what is tolerated and what is rewarded. And unless you're open to changing what's tolerated and what is rewarded, you cannot change culture period i mean show me the lie is there anything where that's not true
and so like if everybody knows without needing to say so that these certain people get treated this certain way or rewarded in this way you know and and i one of my most uncomfortable meetings like because what i would try to do on the inside was sell it more as yeah the talk is that thing on the invoice. But I think in my experience anyway, the most valuable stuff comes from like not 90 people being forced to listen to a talk and implement it, but a handful of people who are influential going, oh, I see how this could help us. And that's lunch. That's a little
offsite meeting. That could be just getting coffee. But saying like, you know, here's an idea that you might be able to socialize can be really powerful. And I told you the story like Before, like being in this room full of like VPs and the woman who's like, I'm always telling my people to take a nap. Please take a nap. It's important to take naps. Naps are good for productivity. It's like, yeah, it's absolutely true. But can I ask how many times in the last week you took a nap at your office with your Fondie bag and stuff like that and your Jimmy Choos? Like how often do you just kick off your shoes and put up a sign that says your female boss is sleeping?
Don't bother me. And she's like, no, I can't do that. I'm like, well, exactly. If they don't see you take a nap, why would they take a nap? That's not how you will excel here. And I hate to call that hypocrisy because it's an overused word, but it is at the very least a logical disconnect. If you see people rewarded.
AlexWell, it's like at best a cognitive distortion. Like that's truly like.
MerlinYes, absolutely. Absolutely. So, you know, advice offered that's impossible to apply is at least frustrating and possibly, I mean, could be the source of some extreme cognitive dissonance because now you've basically, I mean, you know, Goebbels used to talk about this, you know, about the ability to like force people to believe what you believe. And like the whole point of it is, you know, it's like Adam Serwer and the cruelty is the point. Like it's the fact that I can get away with what I'm doing and you have to act like it's real that makes people feel crazy and gaslit.
AlexYep. Yep. Yep. Yep.
MerlinI like this stuff. I don't talk about it, but I do like it.
AlexI wish that you would talk about it more. And I would.
MerlinWho would that help, though?
AlexAre you fucking kidding me? Are you actually fucking kidding me?
MerlinI mean, I hate to go all David Allen on you, but like at least as long as the Drupal doesn't crash, it's all up there.
AlexIt's like I don't know what new stuff I would have.
MerlinAnd I just like my friend Dave, who it wasn't until he was out of law school that he realized how much he hated being around other lawyers. Like I don't like the company I would be keeping in the productivity racket.
AlexBut that's what I mean. Why is it even – what would you say you're in the business in then now? I try to make people happy.
MerlinI try to make people happy on the internet.
AlexWhen people ask me what I do, I'm like, I do things for people and sometimes I like it and sometimes I don't. And that's a weird enough answer that people leave you alone. Yeah, I'm a serenacist. Yeah, yeah. And you're like in the business of people and not in the like Tony Robbins shitty way. But think about how many people in this pandemic, like all of the weird millenniums like me, who were on that corporate train of like, okay, yes, we are going, especially the private school bitches like me, like, yep, we are doing this thing.
We are taking the SAT and the ACT and then we are getting on this track and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then when that all unravels and every expectation of you is no longer there and impossible to fulfill. And not only that, the people who put those measures in place no longer understand how people work. Like, I mean, bosses sometimes just want to see people in seats. Like that is one consistent.
MerlinI think that's true.
AlexIt is absolutely insane to me. And better work. Sometimes people do a really great job working in a different place. Some people not so much. And the idea that nothing has, I think, or at least I have a hunch that when you were talking to those folks, that it was indeed very radical for them to hear. And it was radical for the millenniums to hear just because we expected to, if we were lucky enough to get a job at Google, like, of course we'd be available 24-7.
It's fucking Google. And now, like, I'm not saying that. That's the thing. You do. You Merlin man so hard in so many of your shows. And you do help so many people.
MerlinI'm really glad you think that. That makes me really happy.
AlexI, yeah, jokes have left the room.
MerlinNo, no, I'm not, I'm not, this is not a bit. It makes me really happy that you, you feel that. That's, if it helps you, that's, that's plenty. And that's the thing is like, it was something like Back to Work, which is, hasn't been about what the show is about for a long time. Like, I can't promise you what it's going to be, but like.
AlexMore penicillin talk, please.
MerlinBut like, right, Marissa. But like the, me talking about, I was struggling because it's still a fresh idea, struggling to articulate what bag-in-a-bag means when I talk about coming home from a trip. And I'm struggling in general to talk about why this bag-in-a-bag thing, which sounds so dumb, like why is this so important to me? And I'm not sure yet. I mean, and I need to talk about it. And there may be a handful of people who go, oh, I think I might see what you're getting at. It's not that I have this, you know, it's not like the girl with the bathwater. I'm not ready to vend you a solution
about this but as somebody who's way more interested in the philosophy than the implementation that that's critical to me to be able to like turn this over in my mind to figure out why this feels so like ineffably true and like then struggling to put that in terms that will make sense to other people and in so doing it helps me clarify it for myself and anyway that's how podcasts work i guess
Alexbut the you know but i'm told but like the bag in the bag thing that you heard on rectives like
Merlinwhy is that so important to me it's like i don't know it's like it's because oh what was i watching yesterday you know i love those wired videos of the what do they call those it's like the accent guy but when todd talked about stuff oh um you know the series with the white background the like
Alexit's like a musician explains or yeah sometimes it's jokey like an attorney looks at 30 scenes
Merlinfrom movies with courtroom scenes. But I was watching one the other day that was really interesting about this guy talking about forensic, basically Quincy kind of stuff. That's before your time. But talking about how we analyze blood spatter patterns. Like the difference between a swipe and a wipe and all this kind of stuff. What was the point in why I'm telling you this?
Oh, damn, I lost my thread. There's one I was watching pop me back up in the stack where was I talking about
Alexproductivity Todd
Merlinyeah
Alexthere was something to your main oh yeah bag
Merlinin a bag let me find my history thank god for youtube history I watched a lot of good new contra points very long
Alexbut very good that line about Squidward and Spongebob
Merlinwas so freaking good
AlexOh, I know. Oh, man.
MerlinOh, yeah. You know what it is. Here we go. This wasn't my favorite, but it was still good. A retired Navy SEAL explains how to prepare for dangerous situations. And he's walking through the steps. And, of course, now he's a consultant and he benefits from this. But he was talking about developing situational awareness and how situational awareness, which is such an interesting idea to me, is kind of the fourth step. Like, you develop personal awareness. Like, what am I carrying? What's happening around me? You get, what was the second one? It was like environmental awareness, like be aware of doors and stuff,
or then you get third-party awareness. And then situational awareness, I think, is kind of like where that all comes together. But it's just interesting to hear somebody be able to frame something like that in a way that becomes useful. We throw around a word like situational awareness, but then he's really able to nail it by saying, hey, look, there's that old cliche about how most accidents happen within five miles of your house. and you go, ooh, wow, that's crazy. I didn't know it was so dangerous. Like, well, that's because that's where you are. That's where you live is within five miles of your house. It's not, you don't have to be a statistician
to understand the slight flaw in that, turns out. But he's saying, you know, something's going to happen to you. There's a pretty good chance it's going to happen when you're doing something that you do all the time and have kind of tuned out to. That, like, if you're going to get jumped somewhere, that could very well be somewhere that you go all the time because your brain's not processing it as fresh information anymore. Think about how exhausting it is. The first time we show up at somewhere like Las Vegas or Manhattan, by the end of the day, you're so exhausted because you're so overstimulated with having to notice so many things that are different.
And what he's saying is that there's a benefit to this in that you might be able to not get jumped, like try to walk like this, do that, do these things. But also, this keeps your mind sharp. That you're going to start noticing things. You're going to start – he claims. If you develop situational awareness and a way of like improving your cognitive processes, that you'll see benefits beyond I didn't get jumped today, which is you'll start remembering things better. You'll start seeing things more kind of clearly.
You might start sort of thinking more clearly. I found that very persuasive. So like, I don't know. It's the benefits of this stuff to me are like, they're very practical. You know, the implementation stuff of like, where do I write this thing down? Do I write it down at all? But to get to that, in his case, before you get to be like a Navy SEAL, you're going to have some steps you need to walk through. You can't just clap out of those, as we used to say. You can't just skip all those steps and go straight to now I'm a Navy SEAL by, you know, by my acclimation.
Like, no, you've got to develop those skills and maybe develop them in like a certain order, you know?
Alexthat's almost exactly what the gosh i forget her name the woman who wrote uh thinking outside your brain it's kind of that's really addressed of like thinking outside your brain that's cool well and just like there are so many like you you can't be aware if you're in your fucking head and um like it it definitely has or you're making it all about you yeah exactly like it's very much um at first i'm like this is gonna be like that book uh no no shame like a big magic people really
like that book not for me uh and i was worried it was gonna be like if you need to be creative go for a walk and it's like no like our bodies are like we have the way that we have evolved like we don't take advantage of those things we don't use that type of situational awareness and i guess it's uh less about the you know step-by-step uh like progression to how you get that and more about the um reporting of the of the science of that and yeah when someone is depressed saying
just get out uh and go for a walk or like it'll you'll feel better and why are you grieving so
Merlinlong yeah yeah yeah and i would like it better if you weren't sad right now yeah but but
Alexsorry about your son yeah why am I laughing about that
Merlinthere's another way to think about the whole it's not always about you and this is going to be nearly meaningless because it's straight off the dome but sometimes in a situation lots of situations to evaluate the success or potential usefulness of something I think it is useful to use a phrase from the millenniums is this a you thing or a me thing for example what we just talked about with like, okay, I'm like Johnny Biz Dev and everybody in here sucks an email but me. Let's bring in somebody to fix them. Well, there are a lot of people who read these books that are somewhere between a self-help book
and a turns out book. And I think some people read that as a way to imagine they can better understand other people. And some people read those as a way to better understand themselves, which sounds silly and it could be both. But like, if you think that advice book is mainly about other people, you might read that very differently than thinking that's an advice book about like, this is the tough medicine that I need in this instance. So if you bring somebody, if Johnny Biz Dev brings me in to say, oh, you know, what am I going to say? I'm going to say, don't quit checking your email all day.
Well, you know, and I've been told by people, like if I don't check my email, my boss will fire me and my son on the spectrum won't get to go to school anymore. I'm like, oh, that's, I guess I should have maybe.
AlexYou lose your insurance. You don't get the bonus.
MerlinI should have tempered that with a little bit. Yeah, I mean like, and it's like when I was, when I'm putting together this wisdom, I'm calling that, but you know, the thing that was a challenge on here that turned into a bigger thing and I'm adding to that. But like, I've even got like a little page, I've written up in obsidian. That's, I think of fun, but useful disclaimer page, right? Like, I don't mean anything here to be hurtful. I don't mean this. There's no way this will apply to all people for all times, et cetera, et cetera. And not in a defensive way, but more in a way of saying,
cause I can't preclude people going, this is dumb. I saw one thing I didn't like, so now you're an idiot. I can't change that. But I do think it's any advice that isn't put that strongly may not be actual advice.
AlexYes, that's such a good way. Oh, my God.
MerlinUnless you get to really like sort of like when Madeline was pregnant and everybody wants to give you advice. I got a whole section now that's just about pregnant people. Never touch a pregnant person unless they specifically ask for it. never give a pregnant person advice unless they specifically ask for it. And never touch a pregnant person unless they specifically ask for it. But people need to hear that. Anyway, this is really going to be a good document. You can look it on the gist if you want to see where it is so far. But Matt Howey was like, here's all the advice you need.
Like, you're going to be tired. It's going to suck. Like people talking to our friend on Slack, right, who just had a baby. And Matt Howey's advice to me back then was so good. He's like, one thing is, like, you're going to want to buy all this shit. and I did and I did. But he was like, you know what you need? You need a bunch of diapers and some onesies. Like everything else. You don't need to get your kid a Ramones shirt. Like you don't need to do, that's all for you. Like just don't, understand the stuff you need to care about and sweat and identify all the stuff you don't need to care about or sweat and like it's not going
to make it easy but it does make it simple. Like I just, I cannot be, I cannot spend my whole day trying to make other people feel listened to about their childbirth experience and I'm really tired of being told I'm never going to be able to hold my urine again.
But good advice. That's the problem is though. I mean, so there is some up in the clouds advice like my stuff always eventually gets maybe it's just because I get frustrated and run out of ideas, but I do find myself and I hate to say advice, but you know what I mean? Talking about ideas, thought technologies for improving your life. I think that's why your stuff is more
Alexapproachable is you put it out as a statement for yourself or an opinion rather than you should I'm sorry if like you're basically saying the thing or that's at least why I always sort of
Merlingravitated to your work but but people don't understand or people don't understand or don't appreciate or don't like that okay so if I said to somebody let's say for example like the kind of thing I would have said back in the day and I try and say differently today is I'm trying to only check your email twice a day.
Like, who could that possibly go for? That's me saying, I need to remember to only check my email twice a day. What if I said, check your email 40 times a day? What if I said any number? No matter what, it's going to be wrong. Some people shouldn't check their email at all. Like, only go to an inbox that is potentially a source of new input. Don't go to your cubbyhole from kindergarten because there's probably nothing there. Like, there's all that kind of stuff. But so what do I do to avoid that? I say, derive a better idea of how often you need to check your email.
Well, what if it's my first day back from vacation? Well, derive a different idea of how often to check. There's no big rule for that. Get better at being honest with yourself about shit that's been fucking you up. There's your advice. Does that work for everybody? Kind of. Not really? Kind of. You know what I mean?
AlexYes, I do.
MerlinIf it's not specific, what the fuck is it?
AlexAnd well, and that's sort of I mean, well, again, I'm not I don't want to be like a vague about all of the hospital and therapy thing. I just don't want folks to be like super uncomfortable. But you're here. So thank you, everybody.
MerlinThis is what I went through with the event you heard about, which is like I just I really can't spend my whole day. I'm having a very stressful day. and what I cannot do. And God bless every single one of you who is caring or worried. But like, it's like my friend Giles said, I can't afford your loyalty right now. Like I cannot, I don't have a budget for your care right now. And I appreciate it, but like you have no idea. Like I'm not going to spend my day playing whack-a-mole for gratitude.
I just, I can't do it right now. And to your point, if I'm being honest, I just and this kind of goes to the zooming in on photos I despise the assumption that anybody somebody anything somebody learns about in the world entitles them to an explanation with which they are satisfied yes fuck off I don't know you shit dog and I really we've got to stop expecting that everybody owes us an explanation that we like a fast and complete and thorough and transparent
explanation for everything. Well, you know what? Life is complicated. And if I try and pull out the little doll-sized teaspoons of explanation to everybody in the world, I lose my goddamn mind.
AlexAnd you lose the good parts of nuance and the learning.
MerlinYeah, it's true. It's absolutely true.
AlexLike I, well, and like this, one of the many group therapies I'm in, like it is so- It's called PHP. my php the uh the diversity among folks is just astronomical in the best way
Merlinlike and it is hang on one second i gotta knock at the door hang on one second stand by
Alexi don't i don't know what i should talk about again i could talk about lost but i'm thinking that i'm thinking i want to re-watch the first season of lost i'm not sure i'm not sure it's hard to i don't know i just missed um what was oh gosh what was the fat guy with the curly hair i loved him huey oh man that i feel like that this was one of also the first
ensemble casts where it was okay if not everybody was a hero like jack oh god i can't i can't stand jack for me in in lost jack is the harry potter like i give zero fucks about him i care about i cared about kate but jack wow like okay buddy thanks for i i get that you're really nervous about all this shit going on and like you've been labeled as this alpha male but i i think what lost doesn't
get enough credit for is kind of breaking down that stereotype because he jack as a character like we see how incompetent he is like he's he's like oh the doctor that's put together to take care of everybody and sure there's this um like this fat hawaiian guy i think his name is huey is it howard i oh gosh but he ends up like that is somebody in society that you would look at him And a lot of people would think that person is not going to be useful in this desert island situation.
Like, yeah, let's the terrible thought of let's eat him first. And hashtag turns out it is much, much more nuanced than that. Like the big muscly doctor guy, because you put all of this pressure on him, of course he's going to be the first one to snap. And I who knows if the creators ever intended this, but based on what I've seen of Watchmen and what I've read from Why the Last Man, which is incredibly good and I think everybody should listen to.
What was I saying? I really think that that show wasn't about the not just wasn't about the mysteries.
MerlinI'm sorry, I'm going to cut in real quick. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to find a tape measure for my new name.
AlexDo it. Do it.
MerlinWe can cut all this out.
AlexI'm just talking to Quinn about The Lost.
MerlinAll right. I'll be back.
AlexAnd I can't even, oh gosh, I don't want to spoil it, but when, spoilers, in this six-year drama, action thriller series, people die. and sometimes they die and there's no resolution whatsoever and god being in middle school and watching that after you know decades of uh like nickelodeon it wasn't that it was like this is a
grown-up show or like a show for grown-ups but oh no this is a show that's just you're not going to get an explanation because you're not going to get that in real life let alone on a possibly probably magical island with polar bears and i mean even in the flashbacks where we see i know talking about the tv show lost yes very very much so and and lindelof and wide last man and the how the characters that Lindelof created basically matured.
Lost was so ahead of its time, it was destined to fail, pretty much.
MerlinI think that's pretty good.
AlexThe end, everything okay?
MerlinOh, yeah, no, I'm just trying to, I've got some new folks moving in, and I was just trying to find a tape measure so she can measure her daughter's closet.
AlexOh, hooray!
MerlinDid parents ever measure your closet?
AlexI don't I don't know
Merlinit was a gay joke sorry
Alexoh oh
Merlinokay I sent you my about the wisdom page
Alexabout the wisdom page
Merlinthe items on offer here are based on my own experience and sensibilities they are each and all things that above all I needed to learn none of these items is true for every person or for all times in the event you ever find things that are true for every person for all times you may wish to start a religion None of these thoughts is offered with the intention of being unkind, exclusionary, or existentially ugly, if any come across that way. I apologize in advance. For any item that strikes you as irrelevant or dumb or wrong or antithetical to your own experiences or sensibilities, please consider that it may not be, as we say, for you.
The reader is encouraged to ignore or reject items that match, etc., etc., etc. Yeah.
AlexThis is... No. This is... Huh? No.
MerlinNo.
AlexNo. No, you got to cut some of it. Don't apologize in advance. You don't have anything to apologize for.
MerlinWow.
AlexDo you? Well, OK. Do you feel? Wow.
MerlinMust be nice to check your email seven times a day.
AlexI'm curious.
MerlinCheck your privilege, asshole.
AlexYou said. Well, that's but that's the thing is like when you say.
MerlinI feel like this adequately covers the things that I need to cover. And then I can say things with confidence, I hope. God almighty, is it really 2 o'clock? Jesus.
AlexOh, good Lord. It's 4 p.m. here. We did it again. Oh, we should pick a challenge. Well, you know.
MerlinThis is only been 46 minutes. But we started a little late. That's why.
AlexYeah, yeah. I had some. Turns out you can have panic attacks but still be walking around and functioning. That's good to know. I literally my entire life.
MerlinDo you watch Schitt's Creek?
AlexOh, God, I love Schitt's Creek.
MerlinI was just, I don't know why. I just, sometimes you just watch a given thing and it just hits you. And I'd watch them in the hotel room, like very late. Like, and it's so funny to go back and like, oh, this is the first episode with the veterinarian. Or here's Alexis and the guy in the barn. And it's like, oh, my God, this gets so wild. But I watched the one where she does the ad for the fruit wine.
AlexFor the wine!
MerlinBut like there's just – David is so fucking funny in that. I'm on my second day of a panic attack. You know panic attacks aren't real. Those are just things that celebrity – yes, I know.
AlexI love them all so much. That was like our pandemic show, like the peppy pandemic show because like a lot of people – Yeah, yeah. We got on it real late. thank you editor Quinn
Merlinearlier than me
AlexI would suggest getting if you find yourself not wanting to get up from the room to get a napkin and toilet paper or whatever just get the iTunes version because it comes with a great little like featurette at the end which normally I think those have decreased in quality over the years but just
Merlintalking about like Todd says not everything in those is real yeah so Todd says well I mean of
Alexcourse it like every documentary every behind the scenes is I think a capital T truth made out of a bunch of lowercase especially anything with Michael Moore yeah oh my god no that's just a
Merlinsee I didn't realize that I had seen Roger and me in college and I was just you know that and Sherman's March were the two that just put me like over the moon about like what you could do with a documentary um and but like then I saw other Michael Moore things and I was like oh this feels deeply dishonest I wonder if Roger and me is as deeply dishonest and it's like
Alexhe plays really fast and really loose yeah and it's it's really a shame too like um what was it
MerlinI think sicko yeah because he's anything he can do to make somebody look like an asshole with editing decisions.
AlexIt's like Bill Maher, but people take a lot of it as fact and not just a bit.
MerlinWell, and it's a cognitive bias. You want to believe it. I would do a media one. I would watch Chernobyl or watch all that jazz. If I could put my hand on the truck, I could try and locate those CDs. That might be a fun one. You know what? Maybe that should be a two-weeker.
AlexAll right. How about we start that now and I'll Chernobyl it because – Oh, Chernobyl?
MerlinYou don't want Chernobyl?
AlexSure, sure.
MerlinLove it. Love it. Okay, writing that down. And I will work on – so listen to getting things done fast. Getting things done. I got to find this one minute tape measure.
AlexI don't know. I just see little dash marks after it, like come and go or whatever that is.
MerlinI'm imagining like a checkered flag or something.
AlexYes, yes, exactly.
MerlinA checkmark. God, my phone used to have so many checkmark icons.
AlexWait, what?
MerlinOh, you just remember the thing where like every to-do app always had a checkmark on it.
AlexOh, yes. Goodness gracious.
MerlinListen to Getting Things Done Fast. That could be a two-week-ish challenge. The main thing is for me to just locate that and watch. Okay, so let's do everything. the thing that I introduced a while back. You're only obligated to watch the first episode.
Hello, hello listeners. Are you still here? I didn't see you there. You'll enjoy the craftsmanship. Fruit wine, you know, who doesn't love it? Doesn't taste like something one should put in their mouth. There's a ladybug in mine. Oh, you got one of the good ones.
And it's so funny on SCTV, because SCTV opens with a cold open and then they show the credits of all the actors. So they'll show a like out of character you know like, oh god, Catherine Heron was so cute. She's still cute but like gosh she was like just too pretty for comedy.
AlexOh god. But they show somebody
Merlinout of character like almost like a headshot kind of thing like oh here's John Candy and here's Andrea Martin. And then around them in each of the four corners it shows them as one of their characters. And I was very satisfied to see that Eugene Levy's there, young Eugene, with his giant afro, and in three of the four corners are him with glasses and his eyes crossed, because it's always funny. Eugene Levy crossing his eyes is extremely funny.
AlexThere are, and I think Catherine O'Hara, too, you look at them and sometimes it's just funny.
MerlinI know.
AlexI was talking about, like, I heard that quote about
MerlinJohn Belushi, people said, as soon as John Belushi walked on stage, everybody would just start laughing. I think that, I said this on Back to Work, but I think that's very true of Catherine O'Hara, and I think it's very true of Kristen Wiig. Kristen Wiig just makes a funny
Alexface. It is one of, I think, like they're some of the most gifted performers and improv people because they are really there just to amuse you and that is just having that energy of giving yourself completely to an audience even if it's just like a little that's a very generous thing especially someone like amy
Merlinpolar if you watch ask cat it's like i'm always so impressed that like there are a lot of people who are there for their star turn but amy polar is always in like a crouched position like she's ready to catch a ground ball. She's always, she's so supportive of other people and their bits. And she's very funny. But like, she's, she really keeps things, keeps things running, you know? Ass kit.
That's what it's called, right? It's like ass.
AlexI don't remember.
MerlinBut it's the UCB, UCB improv thing is called. Oh, yeah, you gotta
Alexthe audiobook of that. Oh, hey, thank you everybody who sent me audiobooks Sorry, I didn't say thank me. Yeah, everybody knows. Thank Travis for Travis. The audiobook of Yes, Please, or Say Yes, Yes, Please. Oh, her book. Yeah, which has it, but it has like, you know, the people, the stories about the UCB people, like they tell them sometimes off the cuff. or Judd Apatow will just talk about like,
oh yeah, this is a thing that Amy did. And then like Tina, it's just really, really good. And another, I don't know. I've been doing the thing where I read like biography slash memoirs of artsy people I like. I don't know if it's a healthy thing or not, but it's very entertaining.
MerlinYeah, sure.
AlexOh, Jeff Tweedy.
Merlinyou read the Steve Martin one?
Alexthe dying standing up yeah
Merlinborn standing up
Alexyes there we go the exact opposite
Merlinthat's a really good audio book too just his stories of being a young magician and sleeping in vans
Alexthe Disney stuff the Disney stuff is great
Merlinto me of those kinds of books that's a good one of course he's a very good writer such a smart guy and hearing him read it I think is pretty delightful.
AlexIt is another, he also, at least from the stories that may or may not be a popocryphal, is another performer who is incredibly generous with himself but also knows when to be, like how he gives view.
MerlinBecause he's so private, I think he comes off kind of snooty, but I continue to believe Martin Short might be the funniest person alive, like the most naturally funny person living right now.
AlexInteresting. Oh, my God. I don't disagree. I'm just like thinking about it.
MerlinJust go watch pretty much any talk show interview with him. I mean, of course, a highlight is when he's on The Tonight Show and he's sitting. It's the first time he's been. I think it's the first time he's been on The Tonight Show. And he's sitting there with Johnny and, you know, Ed on the other end. And Betty Davis is there.
And Carson is talking about how Martin Short does all these impressions. and so she's you know Betty Davis she's gotta be in her 80s at this point she's smoking a butt she's really skinny and she's like do you do me and so he has to do his impression of Betty Davis to Betty Davis no
Alexgod it's so funny
Merlinbut god he's funny I also got I got the first couple seasons of Primetime Glick the Jiminy Glick show which just is delightful to me
Alexyeah yeah Oh, I've been watching a bunch of Wait as Kids, you know, just like, oh, God.
MerlinWait, now, did somebody from that die recently?
AlexYeah.
MerlinI don't know what that is, but I learned about it because a fella passed away, I believe.
AlexYeah. Oh, you've never seen Wait as Kids? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I will make a compilation. Oh, that'd be awesome. Thank you. It's, it's, oh, my God. And the, I don't know, it's, it's one of those.
Oh, God, what's it called? fuck not ucb uh the theater sports or improv olympics no no no what's the one with uh all of cory doctor not cory doctor oh fuck me um the people who uh were in wet hot summer all of um a group that they were in yeah fuck me like david wayne types yeah yes okay wait david way in show oh sorry that's stella but the other one the state the state the state yeah yeah yeah
Merlinmy god why did that i missed all of that stuff i missed all of that those mtv comedy shows just like completely i i saw viva variety when it came to comedy central but i had never seen the ones
Alexthat like preceded it it honestly i think there was because these weren't super duper popular that there wasn't quite you know a hunt to take them off the internet so much which is the only
Merlinreason i came across them oh yeah well exit there's some exit 57 there's some exit 57 out there still floating around did you ever watch there's one of my all-time favorite sketches one of the most quoted things in our house. It's Amy Poehler and these two other actresses. Did you ever see the one? No, I must have sent this to you. I must have sent this to you. Where the woman's looking all disheveled in the break room and she goes like, I'm just so mad at myself. I'm so mad at myself. I'm like, Vicky, you
gotta get it together. Yes!
AlexVicky!
MerlinBut then I went down, I was going to get a popsicle and went downstairs and had had sex for money. I spent almost $80. Vicky, you gotta get it together. I want to sell my kids. I need to get their papers.